FRED Entertainment

June 7, 2007

QSE News: 6/7/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:04 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgWarner Brothers has announced that it will be producing a live action movie based on the classic 80s cartoon Thundercats.  The announcement of the movie comes only a few short weeks after it was revealed that another 80s cartoon, He-Man, would also be getting a movie.  These recent announcements have many fans of the original cartoons eagerly awaiting the movies and the chance to masturbate to a real life Cheetara and She-Ra. Because masturbating to a cartoon just makes you fell… sad.
  • Rumors abound that Britney Spears may replace Paula Abdul as a judge on the next American Idol. The last season of the show saw a noticeable ratings dip and producers are allegedly looking to change the show’s judges. Britney looks like a solid contender for the spot and even commented on the possibility by saying “I’m just as big a train wreck as Paula and I’m equally talent-less, so I think the transition would be pretty easy for everyone.” Spears went on to add, “Besides… I don’t wear underwear.”
  • Therapists across the country are upset with The Sopranos after a recent episode that featured a therapist revealing the name of a patient to guests at a diner party. To do so in real life would be a series ethical issue and a violation of patient privacy rights. Series writer David Chase responded by asking the upset therapists “so… how does that relate to the relationship with your mother?”

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 6/7/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Jeff Jarvis’s comments on the recent bitch-slapping of the FCC… (Thingamabob)
  • Now, THIS is the way to obsessively, frighteningly realize a live action Thundercats(Thingamabob)
  • It’s a bit sad that I can never get enough of time lapse photography… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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June 6, 2007

QSE News: 6/6/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:01 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgRapper The Game is facing gun related charges after an incident at a basketball game in February. Mr. Game is being charged with making a criminal threat and possessing a firearm in a school area. And with that, we here at QSE would like to congratulate ourselves for our 1,000th “rapper arrested” story. We’d like to thank all the little people that helped us get to this point, and we’d especially like to thank the hip-hop culture of violence and misogyny.
  • Organizers have released a preliminary list of movies that will be represented at this year’s San Diego Comic-con. Among the comic book themed films like Hellboy 2 and Wanted, studios will also be pushing films such as Balls of Fury, Indiana Jones 4 and Sweeney Todd. These presentations will not be seen by any women.
  • Word has leaked that there are four, yes four, movies in the works about the life of Sammy Davis, Jr.  Among the stars to tackle the legendary one-eyed singer are Denzel Washington, and Andre 3000 from the rap group Outkast.  While four movies may seem like a lot for one subject, it pales in comparison to the 7 movies that are being made about the life of corpulent ex-talk show host (and beloved light of our news columnist -ed.) Rosie O’Donnell.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 6/6/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:58 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • It’s hard to relate the difficult and life-changing affect that losing your testicles in an accident has on your life when the host of the talk show you’re on can’t control himself… (Thingamabob)
  • Have you heard about Kevin Smith’s new movie?… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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Contest: Win Spider-Man 3 Swag from Hasbro!

Filed under: Contests — widge @ 1:18 am


Quick Stop has teamed up with Hasbro to give a whole slew of lucky winners some cool SPIDER-MAN 3 swag, including action figures, web-shooters, and maybe even your very own Spi-Dog. All you have to do is fill out the entry form below, and cross your fingers…

Contest ends at midnight EST on Wednesday, June 13th.

Enter the contest!
Email:
First name:
Last name:
Street Address:
Address Line 2 (if needed):
City:
State/Province/Whatever:
Zip Code/Postal Code:
Country:
Birth Month:
Birth Day:
Birth Year:

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 13th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after announcement of win to receive the product.

June 5, 2007

Toy Box: Zuckuss mini-bust

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 3:27 am

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There are bad ass bounty hunters (Boba Fett) and ridiculous bounty hunters (Dog). And someplace in between, there’s Zuckuss.

Originally from the plant Gand, he looks an awful lot like the original Fly from the 1958 film, and is really one of the less original designs from Empire Strikes Back. But we all know how much kids love a good bounty hunter, and even without any lines in the film, his action figures have always been popular.

Gentle Giant has just added him to their extremely extensive line of mini-busts, with a limited edition release of 5000. You can pick up Zuckuss for around $45, and I have some excellent suggestions of online retailers at the end of the review.

“Zuckuss mini-bust”

Did you know Zuckuss was played by a woman? Neither did I. I guess you really do learn something new every day, whether you wanted to learn it or not.

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Packaging – ***
When Gentle Giant uses the window boxes, they make me happy. I like to be able to see the bust before I open it. Of course, this really only helps if you’re buying in person at a store, but it’s better than nothing. The graphics are dull as dishwater, with the same angular black and gray design that we’ve seen on the Medicom sixth scale boxes. It’s consistent, but still consistently dull.

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Sculpting – ****
When Gentle Giant does it right, they do it oh so right. Zuckuss looks amazing, with a very detailed sculpt all around. They’ve even added some light texturing to the robe, something missing from most of their Star Wars busts.

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The head and body proportions do seem a little off to me, with the head being a bit bigger in proportion to the body than I remember in the film. It’s not so much that the head is too large, but rather that the body is too small. I seem to recall an on screen character that looked more like a fly that’s been hitting the twinkies way too hard. This Zuckuss is a tad more trim and slim, which is probably causing the discrepency.

The eyes are particularly well done, with a lot of depth and sharpness to the cuts. There’s a distinct difference in the texture and style of the character’s flesh and the clothing and equipment, adding a nice realism to the bust.

Paint – ***1/2
Another very strong area, although there are a couple minor issues here and there. One of the nice features of a oddball character like Zuckuss is the wider range of colors, and all of them are quite bright and clean, giving him more pizzazz than you’d expect.

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There’s a little slop here and there, but it’s minor enough that I suspect most folks won’t mind. The robes are also a tad more glossy than I like, but this is more a personal preference than a serious quality issue. Finally, the bronze pieces of the costume are a little inconsistent in coverage and thickness, but that’s fairly common with this type of metallic color.

Design – ***1/2
Zuckuss is holding his blaster pointed to his left, while he looks over his right shoulder. The pose and design are extremely strong, with enough dynamic feel to make him interesting without making him silly.

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I really like the large ‘rope twist’ black wire on his back, which looks quite realistic but is actually polyresin as well. The bronze pieces of his costume also add a nice touch, and this is one of the cleaner designs of the series.

Value – **1/2
He’s running the same $40 – $45 as the rest of the line, but lacks any special features that would boost his value above average. you won’t mind spending the money though, so this category is really a wash.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not much. From what I’ve seen, the paint seems pretty consistent for this line, so you should be good to go. And short of dropping him on a concrete floor, you should have no issues with breakage.

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Overall – ***1/2
Zuckuss is another strong offering in the Star Wars mini-bust series. Unfortunately, Gentle Giant continues to pump out far too many exclusives in this line, making it harder and harder for their fans to get the busts they want. I haven’t actually counted them up yet, but I honestly believe that they’ll be doing MORE exclusives in the Star Wars line up than regular releases this year, and there’s really no excuse for that.

But if you’re like me, you’ll be trying to get the busts you want for your collection, playing right into their hands. I suppose we get exactly what we deserve.

Where to Buy –
I recommend any of these online options:

Hero Hunt has an excellent price at just $40, and he’s in stock.

Fireside Collectibles has him at an excellent price – $40 – but he doesn’t appear to be in stock yet. You might want to give them a call to see when he’ll ship.

Andrew’s Toyz carries all kinds of great Star Wars merchandise, and has Zuckuss on pre-order at just $41.

Dark Shadow Collectibles has him at just $42.

Alter Ego Comics has him for $42.50.

Amazing Toyz and CornerStoreComics have him in stock at $44.

– and for the U.K. readers, Forbidden Planet has him for 29 pounds.

Related Links –
Other Star Wars mini-busts I’ve covered include Chewbacca and Darth Maul, Jedi Luke, Qui-Gon Jinn, Palpatine and Skiff Lando.

QSE News: 6/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:23 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThe band Cartel may have to find another bubble to record their next album as the one they are currently using burst. The band is recording a new album inside a Dr. Pepper sponsored bubble for a reality TV show set to air on MTV. The band’s management had nothing to say despite the foreshadowing.
  • On a sad musical note, the drummer for the up and coming indie-rock band Ra Ra Riot has died.  John Pike was reported missing on Saturday and his body turned up floating in Buzzard’s Bay in Rhode Island on Sunday.  While police are continuing their investigation into Pike’s death, they are not ruling out Fa Fa Foul Play.
  • Katie Holmes says she’s ready for more kids. Holmes has just recently returned to acting with a role in the film Mad Money, which is currently filming in Louisiana. When questioned further about her child and plans for expanding her family, Holmes became nervous and had to ask for the script that her husband Tom Cruise had provided for her, before continuing the interview.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 6/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:57 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Can you decipher the hidden message?… (Thingamabob)
  • Get your own Rocky & Bullwinkle blanket… (Thingamabob)
  • Now THIS is a smeggin’ Transformer… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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June 4, 2007

SModcast 14

Filed under: SModcast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:52 am

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SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 14: On Guard For Thee –

In which our heroes cross the border with a guest from the True North, analyze the “Loose Change” of UFOs, posit that even unidentified species worship the Devils, lament the loss of Bigfoot, question Nessie’s diet, theorize how the Republicans can take the White House for the next one hundred terms, and reveal Canada’s greatest shame.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 14 (MP3 format) – 37.52 MB

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SUBSCRIBE
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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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QSE News: 6/4/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:08 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgPirates of the Caribbean 3 was still number one at the box office this past weekend. The film was still the top money maker despite only pulling in $43 million, a significant drop from previous weeks. Experts account for the box office drop off by noting that America’s attention was focused on more important, worldly issues such as the climbing death toll of Americans in Iraq… whoa! this just in, Lindsay Lohan is going back to rehab!
  • The TV monitoring body, Nielson Co., has begun tracking commercial viewing. The move comes at a time when advertisers are increasingly skeptical of television advertising’s success with the debut of Digital Video Recorders. The first ratings will be released next week and it’s expected the commercial featuring that guy getting kicked in the nuts by the really hot chick showing a lot of cleavage will be number one.
  • Dwayne Johnson, formerly known as the wrestler The Rock, is separating from his wife of 10 years, Dany Garcia Johnson.  According to friends of the couple, the main reason behind the split is that Garcia Johnson was tired of competing with his “wrestling partners” for The Rock’s affections.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 6/4/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:59 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Berkeley Breathed’s Opus is now at Salon(Thingamabob)
  • A rare kinescope of Steve Allen’s Tonight show, Part 1… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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June 1, 2007

Weekend Shopping Guide 6/1/07: Modern Marvels

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:51 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

Second only to endless documentaries about the Nazis and WWII, one of the most addictive shows to hit the History Channel has been the how-to/how-does explorations of Modern Marvels. Criminally absent from DVD shelves, that oversight has been rectified with the 8-disc Modern Marvels: Technology box set (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP). The set features all you could ever want to know about candy, James Bond Gadgets, the Manhattan Project, monster trucks, engineering disasters, sugar, Walt Disney World, and the world’s longest bridge. This is a wonderful start, but where’s the next set?

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Eager to bankrupt cinephile, Warners release another of their must-have themed collections, this time gathering together 6 vault titles starring one of the screen’s most legendary actresses. The Katharine Hepburn: 100th Anniversary Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP) contains 1933’s Morning Glory, 1936’s Sylvia Scarlett, 1944’s Dragon Seed, 1945’s Without Love, 1946’s Undercurrent, and 1979’s The Corn Is Green. Complete remastered, each film also sports period cartoons and short subjects (a most welcome regular feature on these Warner sets).

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The History Channel’s 12-part documentary The Civil War (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$49.95 SRP) is the perfect companion piece to Ken Burns’s own take on the American struggle of brother vs. brother. Whereas Burns was more concerned with the war on a personal level, the History Channel series is a comprehensive look at the social, political, military, and historical aspects.

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Warlords (Acorn, Not Rated, DVD-$39.99 SRP) is a 4-part documentary produced by Britain’s Channel 4 that examines the motivations and mindset of the four wartime leaders that shaped the events of World War II in the Western theater – Hitler, Churchill, Stalin, and Roosevelt. It’s a wonderful examination of the decision-makers and what each was hoping to achieve for their own countries.

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I’ve often wondered why there hasn’t been a more wholesale release of titles from A&E’s wonderful Biography series, but a new pair of themed box-sets may be establishing the necessary precedent to getting scores of them out on DVD. The Legends of The Silver Screen collection (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$44.95 SRP) contains 8 editions of the show, spotlighting Humphrey Bogart, Betty Boop, James Dean, Clint Eastwood, Katharine Hepburn, Paul Newman, Robert Redford, and Shirley Temple, plus the documentary Hollywood: An Empire of Their Own. The Mafia Legends set (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP) turns the focus on Bugsy Siegel, Lucky Luciano, Al Capone, and Mob hitmen. More, please!

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F-Troop was one of those bizarre TV comedies that you’re glad was allowed to make as many episodes as it did before it was” found out” and cancelled. In F-Troop‘s case, that meant only two seasons, the second of which is out now (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP). Any show that can feature both Paul Lynde as a singing Mountie and Vincent Price as a Transylvanian Count in the old west is one that needs to be watched for generations to come. The 6-disc set features all 31 episodes, plus a retrospective featurette.

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Like its sister-show Dogfights, Shootout! (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$69.95 SRP) contains interviews and discussion of military operations spanning the past century, with you-are-there 3-D recreations of the battles in question. The 6-disc set contains both seasons 1 & 2, plus a trailer for the forthcoming game based on the series.

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Take a pop culture spin through coming of age in the 50’s with the documentary Heavy Petting (Docurama, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP), featuring interviews with pop and cultural luminaries who came of age during that storied period – including the likes of Spalding Gray, David Byrne, and Allen Ginsberg – describing their own personal “loses of sexual innocence.”

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It’s not genius, but I still enjoy Kyra Sedgewick’s turn as deputy police chief Brenda Johnson in The Closer (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), where she expertly balances crime-solving with inter-office politics and an attempt at a private life. The 4-disc second season set features all 15 episodes, plus a behind-the-scenes featurette and a gag reel.

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Dive back into the supposedly savage tribal worlds featured in Barbarians II (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP), the History Channel series that attempts to give a clearer picture of these often misunderstood peoples. This 2-disc set spotlights the Vandals, Saxons, Franks, and Lombards. Bonus features include an episodes of both Conquest (“Weapons of The Barbarians”) and Modern Marvels (“Axes, Swords & Knives”).

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The second season of the Clint Eastwood-starring television western Rawhide gets a truncated 2nd season release, splitting up the 32-episode season into a pair of individual volumes. Available now is the 4-disc Rawhide: Season 2 – Volume 1 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP), featuring those first 16 eps.

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All these later, and I still don’t like Firefly. Jebus knows, I tried, but Joss Whedon’s space opera struck me as a cloying, annoying, pale shadow of the heights he achieved on Buffy (before the abysmal final season) and Angel (whose final season proved to its finest). Still, there are plenty of Browncoats out there who have embraced the series, and more power to them. For those fans, though, there’s the second volume of Firefly: The Official Companion (Titan Books, $24.95 SRP), packed with interviews, photos, behind-the-scenes insights, and complete scripts for “Jaynestown”, “Out of Gas”, “Ariel”, “War Stories”, “Trash”, “The Message”, “Heart Of Gold”, and “Objects In Space”.

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What happens when you push a franchise beyond the breaking point? You get Hannibal Rising (Genius, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP), a mediocre attempt to drag the corpse of the Hannibal Lecter franchise through the streets, hoping no one notices the smell of this turgid turkey. Well, smell it does. Bonus features include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and trailers.

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Let’s close out this week with a look at Funko‘s 7″ vinyl Futurama bobble-head figurines, featuring Fry, Bender, Leela, and Dr. Zoidberg ($10.99 SRP each). If you want something a bit more imposing, though, by all means pick yourself up the 12″ vinyl Bender coin bank ($24.99 SRP). You know he wants nothing more than to fill his chest cavity with someone else’s money.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Noctural Admissions: Movie Review – Hostel Part II

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:13 am

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Hostel II Poster

Eli Roth is batting three for three (or four for four if you include the trailer for Thanksgiving). Hostel Part II is not only a great horror film it is a great sequel to a horror film.

It begins with what I take to be an extended homage to Friday the 13th Part Two, a clearing up of left over business from the first film. This gets things off to a bleak note, since the sequence implies that the Slovakian gangsters who run the house of death are invincible and relentless in their pursuit of escapees.

From there, the film tracks parallel paths, a new pair of torturers and their victims, as they make their way independently to Slovakia (which must love these movies as tourism ads). There is a superb sequence in which an array of international bigwigs bid on one of the three traveling American girls the gangsters have captured, via an internet hook up.

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Curiously, the two villainous American friends who arrive as clients in Slovakia are both Desperate Housewives alums: Roger Bart as Stuart and Richard Burgi as Todd. Together they make a pair out of a Neil LaBute play, say, In The Company of Men, in which the alpha dog bullies the weaker man into something cruel. The paradox is that the wimp turns out to be the worm who turns and the macho man is the fuck up who can’t take what he is doing, the one with a conscience.

Thr girls of Hostel 2

The victims this time around are girls: Lauren German as Beth, Heather Matarazzo (late of Welcome to the Dollhouse) as Lorna, and Hollywood royalty Bijou Phillips as Whitney. This ups the hot chick quotient considerably. But Roth’s characters are rarely just stick figures. They are fully realized characters, and as he must realize, that makes the horror even more exhausting. The last 20 minutes of the film is a taut twisting of expectations and clever resolutions to impossible situations. Let’s just say that this film rings an interesting companionability to Death Proof; and does the name Lorena Bobbitt ring a bell?

Homages this time around include Edwige Fenech as an art teacher and Ruggero Deodato as “The Italian Cannibal” who is eating a live guy bits at a time. Fenech is the cult horror star from the 1970s, a sort of European Betty Page, unabashed about getting naked, to the gratitude of adolescent boys everywhere, or at those who could get access to such films as 5 Dolls for an August Moon, Demons of the Dead, and Your Vice Is a Closed Room and Only I Have the Key, to name only a few from the giallo genre out of scores of films. Deodato is of course the director of perhaps the most controversial film ever made, Cannibal Holocaust.

Once you get past the finger gnawing suspense, you have to sit back and be impressed with Roth’s sheer cleverness. Again and again he writes himself out of a corner. Roth has created this little world, sets himself problems in it, and like a screenwriting Buster Keaton, manages to work out a fully satisfying and clever escape. Plus the movie is subtly consistent. Football revelers near the start of the are echoed in a final, ghoulish but hilarious scene. Another broad homage is to the myth of Elizabeth Bathory.

Hostel Bijou

The qualities I like about this film, and indeed all Roth’s horror films so far, is the humanity he brings to the characters (even the villains), the exotic locales that evoke the feel of some of the great European horror films of the ’60s and ’70s, the offbeat sense of humor, and the plausible, realistic surface and look of the films. He makes the relatively small budgets go a long way. I’m a little disappointed that his next film is going to be a Stephen King adaptation, Cell: first, few of them are good as films, and second, adapting a set text may restrain Roth’s wit (in the larger sense). But then, Roth has written himself out of corners before.

Trailer Park: Roman Polanski is still a wanted fugitive in the U.S. for raping a 13 year-old girl but who cares, right?

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 2:05 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

Inspired by those wacky geeks over at TWIT I have decided that instead of putting off and putting off and putting off my vow to somehow market my first book I would let people download and read it for free. Give it a preview, read the whole thing or, if you like what you see, send me some kind words or money for the actual book. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

There’s a lot I like to read about movies.

I usually skip the fluff in favor of the harder news that a lot of sites out there push out, commenting on the stories from an angle that contextualizes events, happenings.

On one of my perusing journeys I came across an article that decried the lunkheadedness of many reporters out there who are aching to serve entertainment outlets with vapid and shallow filling that will play well to Ma and Pa Kettle in Bumwad, Tennessee.

I’ve been there, believe me. I don’t know how these people managed to get a paid position with an organization that thinks asking actors or directors meaningless questions about their personal lives or proclivities with them being loosely based on the fictional product they’re out hocking but it’s embarrassing to be in the same room with said actor or director when they get a question that feels written by a third grader. They get that look on their face where you instantly know that a) they’re going to be nice and answer it and b) are making a mental note to never make small talk with the wag in the future.

One such event happened during a Cannes interview with directors David Cronenberg, Atom Egoyan, Wong Kar Wai, Jane Campion, Gus Van Sant, Taskeshi Kitano and Roman Polanski all gathered for an ol’ fashioned press conference. I’ll save you the fluffery and get right to the quick: Roman Polanski had enough of the softballs he has being given. He had enough at one point and said:

“This is a rare and unique opportunity to see a gathering of such important directors and it’s a shame to have such poor questions,” Polanski said pointedly.

He then left the stage in a huff and didn’t come back. He had enough of the press’ lame questioning and went about his day. On the one hand, I think he did the right thing but, on the other, CHUD’s own Devin Faraci chimed in with the opinion that, “How much banality should a great talent have to endure to sell his product?” True enough. It’s a point, and essay, worth taken. However, it doesn’t make it right in the grand scheme of things if ever there was a grand scheme.

Months earlier, Faraci stepped further into the Polanski issue by stating that, “there are people who will never again watch a Polanski film because of the statutory rape he committed years ago. But does Polanski as rapist diminish Polanski as filmmakers? Of course not”¦ unless Polanski was a filmmaker whose whole oeuvre was based on the sanctity and beauty of youth and innocence.”

This view couldn’t be filled with more ignorance even if he was the original template for Plato’s allegory for those stages of mental cognition in The Republic. Based on Faraci’s logic, then, it should follow then you should be able to enjoy his award-winning film, THE PIANO, without ever bringing the issue of the whole drugging and rape thing of a young girl into an honest critique of the man’s film.

I believe, and would posit, that a man like Polanski still deserves the kind of ire that we, as a society, place on those who would harm young children. If you can separate the two notions in your own head and justify being able to say “Yeah, he’s a rapist but, boy, he is a great filmmaker!” I’m sure there are scores of adults who have to live with the scars of physical abuse from when they were children and, I am willing to bet my left nut, I’m positive they don’t take issues like this lightly and I’m sure they don’t think there’s ever a statute of limitations on rape.

To look at something, and hold something, like a movie above all else is a case study in myopia. For those who have children, for those who have sisters, I’m pretty positive none of them are apologists for a filmmaker who has yet to answer to a crime which he actively avoids to this day. Use all the excuses to defend the man but, at the end of the day, there will always be a woman who I’m sure never would patronize a Polanski film, nor support it due to the vile things that monster has wrought.

In case you’d like to read more about the kind grandiose filmmaker Polanski is, as every student of film should understand the backgrounds of those who produce world-class art, here is a snippet of the man’s life circa 1977 from Wikipedia:

In 1977 Polanski, 43, became embroiled in a scandal involving 13-year-old Samantha Geimer. It ultimately led to Polanski’s guilty plea to the charge of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor.[1]

According to Geimer, Polanski asked Geimer’s mother if he could photograph the girl for the French edition of Vogue. Her mother allowed a private photo shoot. According to Geimer in a 2003 interview, “Everything was going fine; then he asked me to change, well, in front of him.” She added, “It didn’t feel right, and I didn’t want to go back to the second shoot.”

However, subsequent to the first photo shoot, she agreed to a second session, which took place on March 10, 1977, in the Mulholland area of Los Angeles, near Jack Nicholson‘s estate. “We did photos with me drinking champagne,” Geimer says. “Toward the end it got a little scary, and I realized he had other intentions and I knew I was not where I should be. I just didn’t quite know how to get myself out of there.” Geimer alleged that Polanski sexually assaulted her after giving her a combination of champagne and quaaludes. In the 2003 interview, Geimer says she resisted. “I said no several times, and then, well, gave up on that,” she says.[2]

Polanski was initially charged[3] with rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance (methaqualone) to a minor, but these charges were dismissed under the terms of his plea bargain, and he pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of engaging in unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor.[4]

Now, who wouldn’t be lined up to see his next film?

LICENSE TO WED (2007)

Director: Ken Kwapis
Cast:
Robin Williams, Mandy Moore, John Krasinski, Christine Taylor, Eric Christian Olsen
Release: July 3, 2007
Synopsis:
LICENSE TO WED follows newly engaged Ben Murphy (John Krasinski) and his fiancée, Sadie Jones (Mandy Moore), who has always dreamed of getting married in a traditional wedding at her family church. The problem is St. Augustine’s only has one wedding slot available in the next two years, and its charismatic pastor, Reverend Frank (Robin Williams), won’t bless Ben and Sadie’s union until they pass his patented, foolproof marriage-prep course. Through outrageous classes, outlandish homework assignments and some pious manipulation, Ben and Sadie are about to find out if they really have what it takes to make it to the altar”¦ and live happily ever after.

View Trailer:
* Medium (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative. “I have feelings of homosexuality that cause me some concern”¦”

I’m literally just trying to recall from the moment when I was faced with a questionnaire from my church with dozens of questions about anything and everything regarding my personal life but it wasn’t until I hit the aforementioned “homosexual” question that I realized there are some strange things afoot inside the church.

I think it’s why I gravitated so well towards this trailer.

It, as well, has everything to do with Robin Williams’ subdued performance; he’s not screaming, riffing endlessly or posturing for the benefit of no one but himself. It’s, also, the instant sense of goofiness that you sense with John Krasinski and Mandy Moore.

When, in the beginning, one of those retractable line strips comes undone unexpectedly the ensuing wackiness is slapstick that Middle America would love dearly. You realize quickly that this is not a film which will linger with you after you see it. This is the Carls Jr., the Sourdough Jack, the McDLT, if you will, of the summer.

However, there are lots redeeming the production.

You’ve got John who is just a charming addition on the screen. You can keep your McConaughey’s, your Hugh Grant’s, because there is something truly delightful about having someone who looks like an Everyman and acts like someone you could take an interest in.

“Ben, what do you do”¦besides little Sadie?”

Williams also shines as he establishes his character as someone who is even tempered and has an even mood. His demeanor just sparkles as he explains to Moore and Krasinski about Marriage Preparation. You can feel the friction building and even Moore, who genuinely dazzled during her time on ENTOURAGE adds to the mediocre laughs that are sure to ensue when William’s breaks free of his cloistered chains and indulges us all in a little exorcism humor.

It’s hard to be truly positive about a trailer that doesn’t look like it’s something I’m going to be paying for but even though the camera work looks like it’s going to be as basic as anything auteur, and master of making sure everyone uses X3 as a litmus that usually starts with “Yeah, but was it X3 bad?”, Brett Ratner has put on film, this comedy has something about it as there is still a glimmer that it could be a great rental when it comes out around Thanksgiving.

A MIGHTY HEART (2007)

Director: Michael Winterbottom
Cast: Angelina Jolie, Dan Futterman, Archie Panjabi
Release: June 22, 2007
Synopsis: On January 23, 2002, Mariane Pearl’s world changed forever. Her husband Daniel, South Asia bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal, was researching a story on shoe bomber Richard Reid. The story drew them to Karachi where a go-between had promised access to an elusive source. As Danny left for the meeting, he told Mariane he might be late for dinner. He never returned.

In the face of death, Danny’s spirit of defiance and his unflinching belief in the power of journalism led Mariane to write about his disappearance, the intense effort to find him and his eventual murder in her memoir A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life and Death of My Husband Danny Pearl. Six months pregnant when the ordeal began, she was carrying a son that Danny hoped to name Adam. She wrote the book to introduce Adam to the father he would never meet. Transcending religion, race and nationality, Mariane’s courageous desire to rise above the bitterness and hatred that continues to plague this post 9/11 world, serves as the purest expression of the joy of life she and Danny shared.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative. Ok, let’s get the obvious out of the way.

Regardless of your feelings about Jolie’s constant appearance in the news for adopting/having/keeping children from all over the world despite plucking one from our own adoption system which is just pathetic considering how we publicly dry-hump the idea of abstinence yet have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the world, regardless of how Mariane Pearl has handled the subsequent events following her husband’s untimely death and regardless of your feelings about the creepiness that is Angelina and her media machine, this looks like a fairly spiffy film.

Ah, who am I trying to kid? I can’t look at Jolie without being reminded how many times that woman has been staring back at me while I’m trying to read the wife’s US Weekly when I’ve been droppin’ a grumpy in the can.

For all intents and purposes, though, there is a good amount that’s done right in this trailer that deserves a mention. I do appreciate that we’re given a fair introduction into the life of Daniel, a guy who looks like he’s completely wet behind the ears of life, and the scene that we’re given is allowed to happen organically without any impedance of a graphic or voiceover.

Jolie looks like she spent too long at the spray tanner.

South Asia bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal. That’s what Jolie, in a hamfisted accent that I think no one’s really going to believe this side of Madonna’s or Paltrow’s faux English linguistics, tells us about Daniel’s job. Not to mention that this is going to go down in Pakistan, not really a good place for an American to be in 2002.

So, we move on and before we even get into the meat of what’s happening here Jolie says that the two of them flew to Pakistan the day after 9/11. I don’t know what world you live in but, again, there are a lot of red flags that a) should have been waved in front of their face about what the climate was and b) regardless of your position as a journalist you can’t help but feel, after hearing those words out of Jolie’s badly accented lips, that this was a losing proposition.

Then we’ve got the moment where Daniel disappears forever. According to the trailer we see that he wants one more interview. He gets into a cab and starts driving, and driving, and driving before he says, looking scared, “Are we far?” Um, yeah, at what point does chasing a story and being in love with the idea of being a journalist preclude the notion of preserving one’s life? You can’t watch this trailer and not feel some sense that there was something really amiss with the way things went down.

“I don’t think this is the business of a journalist”

From the moment he’s captured the music score gets faster, to create the sense that everyone’s running out of time in finding the man, but the trailer doesn’t really convey the kind of urgency that I would expect to compel me to want to see the movie. While I understand that that everyone, almost everyone, there are some people who can’t list the last three presidents of America, knows how the story ends I can’t believe that a tagline that this movie represents, “the story you haven’t heard.”

Umm”¦pretty sure I have, Sparky. Apart from the situational details and the summary of events as explained by his own paper anything else are just the private moments of Mrs. Pearl which are open for interpretation and misrepresentation.

Apart from the usual trappings of a cat-and-mouse movie and the events as they unfolded, a lot of which I would deconstruct here, there is a moment, at the end of this trailer, something really concerns me. Jolie, again in that wretched accent, breaks the 4th wall of this film by saying out loud that this movie is for his son. Is this Angelina talking or is this his widow? And why have there at all? The emotional buy-in, obviously, but it is gauche in ways I can’t begin to describe.

Is this a film or a documentary? If it’s the former then it makes Angelina’s comments seriously out of place and disgraceful. If it’s the latter then why isn’t his wife playing the part of his wife and why aren’t we just saving the cost of whatever it took to pay Angelina to do this movie (I’m sure it wasn’t done for free) and getting a documentary crew in there to do the work for us?

It’s all very strange but I am sure as Angelina graces more tabloid covers leading up to this film’s release we’ll get a clearer picture of how this film was handled.

Interesting side note: Ted Rall, someone who is the embodiment of brutal and insightful honesty in a time of censure, had this to say about the proliferation of outspoken widows in this insidious and un-winnable “war on civil liberties”:

Let’s see. Ted Olsen, one of the three “terror widows” in my (in) famous comic from 2002, appeared on “Larry King” a week after his wife’s death to promote Bush’s war on terror(TM), aka neo-fascist agitprop. Mariane Pearl made repeated appearances on cable news stations to promote her two books. So did the “Let’s Roll” (R) widow. (She also sold a book, and filed for a trademark on the term “Let’s roll.”) Of course, I was demonized by Coulter’s right-wing fellow travelers for criticizing these people for the (strange) way they chose to mourn their losses. Psychotic self-hating African-American pol Alan Keyes called for me to be censored, jailed and shot to death, not necessarily in that order. My, how things have changed.

MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS (2007)

Director: Wong Kar Wai
Cast:
Norah Jones, Jude Law, Rachel Weisz, Natalie Portman, David Strathairn
Release: TBA
Synopsis: MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS is the new film from one of the world’s most sought-after directors, Wong Kar Wai. It’s a magnificent love story starring multi-Grammy award winner Norah Jones in her movie debut along with a “A-list” cast of Academy Award winners and nominees including Jude Law, David Strathairn, Rachel Weisz and Natalie Portman.

Norah Jones plays a sensual, alluring young woman who sets out on an unforgettable journey of discovery in pursuit of true love. In heartbreakingly beautiful locations and classic Route 66 atmospheric diners, Wong Kar Wai’s captivating heroine encounters a series of enigmatic characters that help her on her quest.

Set against New York’s magical cityscape and the stunning vistas of America’s legendary Route 66, the celebrated director’s first English language picture embraces his signature elegance and originality that made “Happy Together,” “In the Mood for Love” and “2046” must-see movies all around the world..

View Trailer:
* Large (Flash)

Prognosis: Negative. Nigel Tufnel: It’s part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy, I’m working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don’t know why.

Here’s something that gets me when I think about the currency of trailer advertising:

Does a filmmaker’s previous films have any kind of “goodwill value” inherently attached to it? For example, and about as rudimentary as I can explain it, if you make an excellent film does it follow, then, that the trailer that heralds your next feature get a pass in a way? I would argue that, yes, there is some kind of extra credit given to that trailer.

While I was one of a few who pointed out, long before the movie opened, that the My Chemical Emo Romance haircut of Peter Parker that has, ostensibly, sunk the replay factor SPIDER-MAN 3, regardless of how well it fits in the pure sense of the film, there were a lot of people who never brought this up and socked some people upside the head when it finally was there staring them back from the big screen. It’s these things that are worrisome.

Worrisome, as well, is how 2046 was just a movie that had ambition but failed to deliver anything resonant as a filmgoer. So, too, then, we have a flick, MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS, that stars a guy who loves to not only play a dong-sticking cheater but plays one in real life and a girl who can capture my attention whilst behind the ivories but is completely untested as an actress.

Goodwill? Good God, what hast thou wrought? Nothing memorable, I can tell you that.

Let’s start at this statement: the opening is absolutely wonderful. Artfully framed and sticky with the kind of musical arrangement that emotes sadness and loneliness. Regardless that she’s a singer, Jones is just standing there in her thigh highs looking forlorn.

And then she opens her mouth.

It was absolutely rough to see the following images, feeling more like a lesson in music video acting, of Norah wiping away her tears, damn near staring at the same window she wishes she could be behind like a dazed stalker.

Enter, stage left, Jude Law. I don’t know what his deal is. Honestly. I think he works in the same restaurant with Jones, I’m not sure, the trailer is a bit muddled about this, and at one point him and his disastrous looking head of a hair (Seriously, is it a weave? A piece?) help each other to shout into a telephone with great aplomb. I don’t get it the point of it and we’re not let in on it.

What follows afterward are two, distinct, conversations. However, what’s not revealed is what these people are talking about! You’ve got Norah talking about some people finding different people and then an awkwardly set up moment between Law and Jones that not only feels sleazy but plays out like I’m watching Keanu Reeves and Paula Abdul circa 1990 in her awful, cankerous beast known as her “Rush Rush” video. Ghastly, any which way you slice it.

PARIS, JE T’AIME (2007)

Director(s): Gus Van Sant, Joel Coen, Alexander Payne, Olivier Assayas, Frederic Auburtin, Gérard Depardieu, Christoffer Boe, Gurinder Chadha, Sylvain Chomet, Ethan Coen, Isabel Coixet, Wes Craven, Christopher Doyle, Vincenzo Natali
Cast: Steve Buscemi, Juliette Binoche, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Elijah Wood, Gena Rowlands, Emily Mortimer, Miranda Richardson, Rufus Sewell, Willem Dafoe, Natalie Portman, Gerard Depardieu, Bob Hoskins, Nick Nolte
Release: May 4, 2007 (Limited), Coming Soon
Synopsis: Eighteen different directors and a slew of indie actors come together for PARIS, JE T’AIME, a cinematic homage to the City of Light. Each director presents his or her own short story set in a different Parisian quarter, each one featuring a different cast of characters. The pieces vary in length, with some of them striving to tell a fully developed tale–no matter how simple the plot–while others are more abstract, content to rely on sparse dialogue and vivid imagery. With directors such as Gus Van Sant, Alexander Payne, Wes Craven, and the Coen brothers participating, the tales are as varied and oddball as one might expect. Maggie Gyllenhaal plays a lonely actress with a fondness for her hash dealer. Elijah Wood encounters a seductive vampire on a moonlit street. Steve Buscemi is a flustered tourist. Natalie Portman falls for a deaf Frenchmen. Each tale is markedly unique, and specific to the quirky style of its director, and the film is a veritable Who’s Who for indie buffs. The end product is a bit uneven, with some of the narratives sparkling and others starting strong, then falling flat. But in the moments when it succeeds, the movie can feel mysterious and magical, evoking the romance and longing the city is famous for.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. Sometimes, just sometimes, an original thought can start something special.

You watch something and think that the gimmick is just that, a gimmick, and if you try and there’s no way the finished product can support itself beyond that. FOUR ROOMS proved that very well with the multiple-director germ that spawned a film that was ½ good while the other half could have been pitched into a river, tossing and twisting inside a gunny sack. This trailer, though, just exudes that je ne sais quoi (I apologize for that) which really does and should surprise.

One of the very first things that catch your eye is Natalie Portman. Sitting, perched near a window, the belfry ringing in the background, the screen goes black and the pronouncement is made: “From 18 of the most acclaimed international directors”¦” The first thought for many could be “How is this possible?” but for me it’s “Who was able to coordinate all those schedules?” Beyond that, the list is populated with handfuls of people who I know and, quite naturally, those who I am not familiar with. It’s a veritable who’s who of the directorial arts but before you question how the brothers Cohen made the list alongside Wes Craven were thrust into the narratives.

Now, from a marketing standpoint there’s obviously an issue with selling a story to the public when you’re talking about a movie that’s a literary equivalent to a short story collection. The angle you have to take, and the one you’re really left with, is selling the styles. Selling the chance to find out why Steve Buscemi looks so forlorn, why Rufus Sewell actually looks like a leading man for once and why Willem Dafoe is on a horse in the middle of an urban jungle.

There’s some simplicity in the musical score that is the only, singular thread that is connecting the reasons why you would want to toss down some scratch to see the picture. I am compelled by Bob Hoskins’ performance in a strip club and the odd pairing of a man who stands behind a pane of smoky glass only to have a fist shatter it as he stands perfectly still as it happens.

“Every glance”¦Every kiss”

The perfection that is this trailer is its simplicity. We’re no better understanding why the flirtatious looks between a man and woman are so compelling but as the trailer builds to a steady crescendo we’re given the reasons why there is enough reason to see this film: it’s an ode to new love, old love and the kind of love we all can connect with as human beings. It’s a bit corny, yes, but that’s exactly what modern cinema has been missing for a little while.

Elijah Wood’s story looks creepier than fuck, I actually feel positive to a cleaner looking Nick Nolte strolling with his maiden and the individual signatures from all the other directors involved, mashed up with one another, works so effectively that I dare say there is some reason to believe in the power of the short-story angle which doesn’t feel like an excuse to have all sorts of directors toss a bunch of slop against a wall to see what sticks; in fact, I would posit that what’s given here at the end of the trailer is a case for the ethos that love can be a good, solid reason to make a movie where you really could find a gem or two within the body of the work.

QSE News: 6/1/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:03 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgWith the release of the seventh and final book in the Harry Potter series looming, word has come out that Universal Studios will be opening a Harry Potter theme park in Florida.  Set to open in 2009, the park will feature many of the locations made famous by the book series created by J.K. Rowling.  While some of the rides are being kept secret, representatives have given the names of two rides – “Ride Harry’s Wand” and “Journey to the Center of Hermione:  A 3-D Adventure Motion Ride.”
  • A Kansas City Radio Station is hoping to set the world record for largest ensemble performance by having over 2,000 guitarists play the same song. The song chosen for the event is Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water.” The fallout from the event is expected to set musicianship back 20 years.
  • Apparently, most of the world thinks plans for a Dutch reality TV show in which gravely ill contestants battle over a new kidney is in bad taste. Producers are defending the show saying it will help promote organ donating. The producers also state that this idea is better than their original idea of contestants competing to win their children back from the hands of a convicted child molester. In related news, Fox has picked up a show based on the latter concept.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 6/1/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • It’s poopie Friday here at the ol’ Quick Stop of Love, so here’s MST3K Poopie: Part 1… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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