FRED Entertainment

April 20, 2007

Weekend Shopping Guide 4/20/07: Go Team Venture

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:33 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

As fantastic as their debut season was, Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer not only surpassed, but ran laps around themselves in the second season of The Venture Bros. (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). Picking up after the roadside death of Hank & Dean that ended Season 1 on a rather shocking note, the proverbial ground is hit in an equally proverbial running fashion, advancing the Monarch-Dr. Girlfriend-Phantom Limb love triangle, Orpheus’s search for a villain of his own, the boys’ first double date and a dangerous meeting with a mother figure, the future of Unterland, and much, much more. Pure comedy-adventure (comture?) gold. The 2-disc set features all 12 episodes, audio commentary on every episode from Jackson & Doc (plus a clutch of special guests), deleted scenes, and a special tour of the legendary orbiting AstroBase studios of those dynamic creative types.

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It’s been years since Sony taunted fans of The Larry Sanders Show with the bare bones release of the complete first season, which was then followed up with… nothing. No second season, no third season – nothing but silence. While I’d still have a complete season-by-season release of the entire series, the 4-disc Not Just The Best Of The Larry Sanders Show (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$49.95 SRP) is a nice little consolation prize, as it was personally supervised by Garry Shandling who – in addition to 23 handpicked episodes – has loaded it up with audio commentaries and personal interviews with cast and guest stars that are often remarkably candid (and sometimes a little raw in their emotion). There’s also a feature-length documentary on the making of the show and deleted scenes, but the real draw is Shandling’s personal touch – and my personal hope that this is merely a prelude to not only those full season sets, but also the release of It’s Garry Shandling’s Show.

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Seeing as how TV Land and Nick At Nite’s definition of “TV Classics” now extends into the 90’s, and they have the unfortunate habit of editing the shows, it’s one of the happy joys of DVD that we can view a trio of Gary Marshall sitcom classics in their complete, unedited form again. It’s been a few years since the release of their respective first season sets, but we can now kill a few weeks worth of recreational viewing time with the sophomore seasons of Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, and Mork & Mindy (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP each). There are no extras to be found, but each 4-disc set does sport some very nice transfers, considering the age (and how truly crappy those oft-run syndication prints have looked). Here’s hoping the wait for the third seasons is not nearly as long.

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Hopefully you’ll be packing theaters this weekend, taking in Simon Pegg & Edgar Wright’s latest, Hot Fuzz. As soon as you exit the theater, you’ll want to make a beeline to your local CD emporium and snag yourself a copy of the soundtrack (Cherry Tree Records, $9.98 SRP), featuring The Fratellis, The Kinks, Supergrass, The Troggs, and more music to chase criminals with.

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While it was certainly leaps and bounds better than the sucker punch that was the first Spider-Man flick, I still could not get into Spider-Man 2. Yes, Doc Ock was a much better on-screen realization than Guyver Goblin, and it’s always nice to see Spidey swinging through the urban landscape, but Tobey Maguire has proven to be a cold, dead fish of an actor in his portrayal of both Peter Parker and his web-slinging alter-ego. Still, I know there are those of you who can see past such things, and absolutely adore the flick – and you’ll be the ones snapping up Spider-Man 2.1 (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$19.94 SRP), an extended cut featuring additional footage (8 minutes, to be exact). The 2-disc set also features a new audio commentary (with producer Laura Ziskin and writer Alvin Sargent), an integrated video trivia track, a trio of new featurettes, and a sneak peek at Spider-Man 3.

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The wacky, wonderful, beloved of Fred Hembeck denizens of Bikini Bottom return for another single-disc collection (the kind that tide you over – Get it? TIDE? – until the next season set). SpongeBob Squarepants: Friend Or Foe? (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP) contains the 2-part episode “Friend Or Foe,” plus an additional 6 adventures, as well as an uncut animatic for “Friend Or Foe” and a photo gallery.

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Not having seen the stage production, I can’t compare how adept the stage-to-screen adaptation of Alan Bennett’s The History Boys (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$27.98 SRP) is, but taken on its own merits, it’s a real gem. While many are sure to undercut it by comparing it to flicks like The Dead Poets’ Society – particularly as both deal with charismatic teachers that energize their students – I give extra kudos to Richard Griffiths as the teacher who engages the eight intelligent-but-difficult students here. Griffiths is brilliant, and the film is, too. Bonus features include an audio commentary and a pair of behind-the-scenes featurettes.

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Comperes Vic Romano and Kenny Blankenship return for another round of dubbed insanity with the second season of MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (Magnolia, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP). The 2-disc set features another 13 episodes of sports challenges that only the Japanese could devise, reworked as only a group of smartass Americans can. Bonus materials include a behind-the-scenes featurette, Kenny Blankenship’s Top 25 most painful eliminations of the season, and an original episode of Takeshi’s Castle.

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At 3-discs, The Stanley Brothers: The Definitive Collection 1947-1966 (Time Life, $39.98 SRP) certainly lives up to its title, featuring 60 remastered tracks spanning their career. For fans of bluegrass and “mountain music”, it’s certainly worth picking up.

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I find it interesting to note that the bulk of the pieces features in the new Larry King Live: The Greatest Interviews set (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) are with entertainers and not political or social figures, acknowledging my long-held belief that King – though amiable – is one of the softest, least-revelatory interviewers of any subjects that would be considered controversial or topical. Still, for the interviews of legendary entertainers and icons, this 3-disc set is worth a spin.

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From out of the Filmation library comes a short-lived series that proved a headache for executives and lawyers at Columbia Pictures – the 1970’s live action Ghost Busters (BCI, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP). Larry Storch and Forrest Tucker star as the paranormal investigators Spenser and Tracy, and they’re aided by the super-smart gorilla Tracy (Bob Burns). Trust me – you’ve just got to see it. The 2-disc set features all 15 episodes, plus interviews, rare footage, galleries, easter eggs, and an episode of the animated Ghost Busters. The only drawback? BCI has used those goddamn abominable double-sided discs. Please, guys, don’t! You do great work – don’t present on these easily marred pieces of junk.

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Much like Helen Mirren’s performance in The Queen, there was the fear that Forest Whitaker’s turn as the brutal Ugandan dictator Idi Amin in The Last King Of Scotland (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP) would be just a load of awards season bluster. Thankfully, like Mirren, the performance and the film itself stand up on DVD as more-than-deserving of the praise. Often overlooked but deserving of equal praise, though, is James McAvoy as Nicholas Garrigan, the dictator’s young, Scottish personal physician and the victim of living too close to Amin’s incredible wake. Bonus features include an in-depth documentary, deleted scenes with optional commentary, a featurette focusing on Whitaker’s performance, and the Fox Movie Channel special Casting Session – The Last King of Scotland.

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Cabot Cove’s angel of death returns, as we rejoin Jessica Fletcher for the sixth season of globe-spanning mysteries in Murder, She Wrote (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP). Her guest stars this go round include Elliott Gould, Jerry Stiller, Shirley Jones, and Shirley Knight, and the 5-disc box set also includes interview with Angela Lansbury and the cast & crew, plus s Sleuth Channel featurette counting down TV’s top sleuths.

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The BBC release another of their literary adaptation sets, this time focusing on the work of novelist George Eliot. The 5-disc George Eliot Collection (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) contains the adaptations of Eliot’s Middlemarch, The Mill On The Floss, Adam Bede, Silas Marner: The Weaver Of Raveloe, and Daniel Deronda. Bonus features include an featurette on Eliot, a reader’s guide for Middlemarch, and a behind-the-scenes photo gallery for Daniel Deronda.

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Many will pop in writer/director John Cameron Mitchell’s Shortbus (ThinkFilm, Not Rated, DVD-$27.98 SRP) just for the titillation factor of its surprisingly frank, un-Hollywood depictions of sex, but those with a little more time on their hands and an open mind will actually watch the film for what it is – a surprisingly frank look at love, sex, culture, and human relationships today, all told through the lives of the diverse New Yorkers who find themselves at a crossroads in an underground bar named “Shortbus”. Bonus features include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and more.

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With eyes like stone and a demeanor like cracking ice, Judi Dench portrays an aged teacher wrapped in bitterness and a solitary life in Notes On A Scandal (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP). When a new teacher (Cate Blanchett) arrives at the school, Dench’s Barbara Covett feels she’s found a kindred spirit in the young Shelba Hart. However, all turns explosively sour when Covett discovers that the married Hart has been sleeping with a student – and she reacts with an almost Fatal Instinctian level of jealousy. Bonus features include an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, interviews, and webisodes.

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Want a fun game for the weekend? Go through the first two seasons of George Lopez’s eponymous sitcom (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) and see if you can find any jokes pinched by Carlos Mencia. It’s fun! The 4-disc set contains all 28 episodes from those premiere seasons, plus a spotlight featurette on Lopez and a gag reel.

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Near as I can tell, I think Smokin’ Aces (Universal, Rated R, DVD-$29.98 SRP) was trying to be a cross between Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie, with a little dash of Soderbergh. At the end of the day, though, this fast-paced tale of a Vegas illusionist-turned-mob-snitch who must outrun the bounty on his head is a bit too much of a catch-all to be successful. Kind of like Jon Favreau’s Made. Still, as a way to kill a Friday night, it’s a solid little flick. Bonus materials include deleted scenes, a stunts featurette, an alternate ending, outtakes, and more.

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As a storytelling exercise, I’ve always enjoyed A&E’s Mysteries of the Bible series, which nicely summarizes and explores the tales contained in the world’s most popular novel. The 7-disc Mysteries of the Bible Collection (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$69.95 SRP) contains 22 episodes, plus episodes of Ancient Mysteries & History’s Mysteries focusing on the Ark, the Shroud of Turin, and the Holy Lance.

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Go on a dark, macabre, and often grisly exploration of the slasher horror genre with the documentary Going To Pieces (ThinkFilm, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP), which features interviews with genre luminaries with names like Carpenter, Craven, Savini, and Zombie, as well as gory clips aplenty. Bonus features include an audio commentary, bonus interviews, and more.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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QSE News: 4/20/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:29 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgAfter widespread internet rumors stated that Lawrence Fishburne would be the voice of Galactus in the upcoming Fantastic Four sequel, it has been revealed that Fishburne is actually voicing the herald of Galactus, the Silver Surfer.  Fishburne has said that he’s drawn on his many years of acting in finding the right voice for the Surfer, including spending a lot of time watching his past performance as Cowboy Curtis from Pee Wee’s Playhouse.
  • The former frontman for the band Right Said Fred, Richard Fairbrass, has set his sights on public service.  Fairbrass, best know for singing the cult hit “I’m Too Sexy” has announced his intentions to run for the Mayor of London.  Shortly after the announcement, Fairbrass’s opponents launched a negative ad campaign claiming that Fairbrass might in fact be too sexy for the office of Mayor.
  • Spider-Man is getting ready for his Broadway debut. Marvel Entertainment announced it is planning a new musical based on its popular character with music being provided by Bono and the Edge, of U2. Bono only agreed to write the music after Marvel allowed him to spend the first hour and a half of performance lecturing the crowd about global awareness.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/20/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:29 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • It’s all-bork-bork-bork Friday (thanks to one of our readers, Jesse L.), so let’s kick it off with the Swedish Chef’s donut recipe… (Thingamabob)
  • The Chef gets a visit from his uncle (Danny Kaye).. (Thingamabob)
  • And advertises his own brand of cereal… (Thingamabob)
  • Bet you didn’t know he had his own ringtones, too… (Thingamabob)
  • And we wrap it all up with a day in the life… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 19, 2007

The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 99 – Cat’s In The Cradle

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:14 am

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Parents and children.

If a specific day could be said to possess a theme, well, that surely would’ve been the one I’d’ve designated for last Tuesday, April the tenth.

Y’see, that was the day my 16-year-old daughter, Julie, though freshly back at school after her Easter break, came home several hours early. We were off to Albany – a near two hour drive – to meet and dine with my old compadre (and Empire City resident), Roger Green, followed by an eagerly anticipated concert in The Egg (a unique civic structure, to be sure) given by Sean Lennon. And oddly enough, opening for the son of John and Yoko was Kamila Thompson, the daughter of Richard and Linda Thompson! Also featured was a four piece ensemble (pedigree unknown) whose moniker – Women and Children – still managed to somehow stay on theme!

And as much as I wanted to see the show, I did feel some mild degree of regret (silly as it was, I’ll admit) for being dragged away from the TV only minutes before the true identity of the daddy of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby was about to be revealed!! Now, there’s one kid Sean’s surely gotta relate to…

Let’s review, okay? We were going to see John and Yoko’s kid – along with the Thompson’s kid – with my kid while the TV was chattering on and on about Anna Nicole’s kid! Like I said, theme time…

But how did I find myself in this position in the first place, you might well ask? Cuz, y’know, the truth is, if you’d’ve told me as recently as six months ago that I’d be heading off with great enthusiasm to see Sean Lennon sing live, I woulda probably thought you were, um, kidding…

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Look, I’ll come right and say it – I’ve always had a bit of a problem with Yoko. No, she didn’t break up the Beatles, not really, but there’s always been something that’s nonetheless prevented me from looking upon her with anything more than, at best, begrudging respect – and oft times, not even that. Sorry – my prejudice, and perhaps an unfair one at that. But it is what it is, and it even unconsciously spilled over to Sean, the only child of her storied union with the beloved Beatle.

Julian? Hey, Julian I had no problem with, and I was in fact one of many who snapped up his 1984 release, Valotte, the debut LP that – however briefly – turned the offspring of Lennon and first wife, Cynthia, into an overnight teen idol. But the next several albums (three of which I own, picked up either in the remainder racks or for discount prices at a used CD outlet) were neither the critical nor popular successes that first offering was.

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(Happily, a distinctive return to form creatively – if not financially – can be found on Julian’s most recent release, 1999’s wonderful Photograph Smile. Word that another collection of junior Lennon tunes (shockingly, Jules is now older than his dad was when the elder met his tragic demise) is said to be on the near horizon, and if it’s anywhere near the quality of his last CD, it’ll be warmly welcomed in these quarters!)

As for Sean, well, when he released his own solo debut in 1999, Into The Sun, (after collaborating with mom Yoko and subsequently playing with several avant garde musical congregations, material I’ve to this day yet to investigate), I pretty much ignored it. It wasn’t until a year or so later when a friend lent me a copy that I took the time to listen to the CD. I was pleasantly surprised by the disc’s quality, enough so to actually go out and buy my own copy. But as sometimes happens when I add something I consider to be marginal to my always burgeoning music collection (like, for instance, those three other Julian CDs), I rarely get around to playing it. Truth is, if I popped Into The Sun into the CD deck more than twice in the last half decade, I’d be surprised. So when the news came last year that Sean was readying his second solo collection for release, it was all I could do to stifle a yarn.

Hey, I never claimed to be the brightest bulb in the garden, y’know…

What turned me around? Well, it all began with an appearance by the son of Ono on Late Night With Conan O’Brien several months ago. Accompanied by his band, he took the stage and launched into a tune – probably the single, “Dead Meat”, though I can’t say for certain at this late date. Whatever – the thing is, I was immediately struck by both the song’s haunting melody and the group’s expert performance, particularly the vocals. My interest level had been substantially raised – not enough to go out and ACTUALLY shell out some bucks for the new album, mind you, but the seeds were definitely planted…

Because if I HADN’T witnessed that TV appearance, who knows how I might’ve reacted back in early March when Lynn informed me that Sean Lennon was playing at The Egg a month later? Without the evidence provided by Conan’s show, I may well’ve dismissed the notion of attending the show entirely. (Of course, the fact that tickets for the concert retailed at an extremely reasonable twenty-four bucks didn’t hurt the decision making process one iota, to be perfectly honest…). So yeah, we decided, “Hey, why not?” Albany’s not all that long a hike from here – and to sweeten the deal even further, we enlisted local resident (and fellow Fabs fancier) Roger Green! Once we were all in agreement, Lynn went online, secured four tickets, and we were set!

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There was only thing we needed now:

A copy of the new CD.

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So, later that week, I drove over to my local Best Buy outlet, and purchased a copy of Friendly Fire (which comes as a twofer – a DVD of music videos, loosely tied together as a story of sorts, is included along with the music CD). Arriving back home, I opened it up and slipped it into the disc changer.

How best to describe it? Well, it’s one of those albums that, upon first play you think, “Hmm, very nice. Better than I expected, even”, but nothing really jumps out and bowls you over. Still, it clearly IS good, so you give it another spin.

And then another.

And another still, and before you know it, the ten-song collection (clocking in at a modest 38 minutes) has completely insinuated itself into your subconscious. Whereas many flashy CD’s prove to soon wear thin over all too short a time, Friendly Fire very quietly – but unremittingly – grows on you. By the time Lynn, Julie and I sat down together to watch the DVD (a mere two days before the concert – I wanted the music to work as music first and foremost, and thus avoided the visual interpretations until the tunes were firmly set in my mind), all three of us had long been won over by the record’s subtle virtues.

What does it sound like? Well, unlike Into The Sun (which I naturally pulled off the Hembeck Rack O’ Tunes so as to afford it a thorough reassessment), there were no sudden and unexpected detours into jazz and Latin flavored riffs to be found on this new release. The music here was all of a piece. And while the Beatlesque flourishes regularly found on his half-sibling’s recordings weren’t in such obvious evidence, a close listen to Sean’s song-structure says a lot about the power of DNA. (And not surprisingly, the brothers with different mothers sound – at least at times – amazingly alike. Based on what we have on disc, though, neither one – especially Sean – is likely to pull off a convincing go at the likes of a “Dizzy Miss Lizzie” or “Twist and Shout”. But oh, what the boys could do with “Across The Universe”…).

Maybe the record sounds so cohesive due to the events that inspired it. With song titles like the aforementioned “Dead Meat”, “On Again Off Again”, “Falling Out Of Love”, and the tune that lends the disc its name, you’ve gotta figure there was bad vibes at the root of it all. You’d be right. Now, I can’t say I know all the details – I read about it in an online news story a few weeks back – but as best I can recall, Sean discovered his steady girl two-timing him with his best friend, and before all the conflicting emotions caused by this hurtful revelation could be sorted out, his long-time buddy was killed in a car crash. Yeah, that’s most surely a rotten price to pay for inspiration, no doubt about it…

But whatever the unfortunate circumstances, there’s no denying Friendly Fire is an inspired work of art, so tearing myself away from the tragically farcical Anna Nicole circus for couple of hours, we eagerly embarked on our trip to Albany Tuesday afternoon. Arriving shortly after five, we gathered up Roger directly from his place of employment (and you can read Mr. Green’s own detailed account of the evening by going to his fine Rockin’ and Rollin’ With Rog blog), went out for a vegan-friendly meal of falafel, and eventually made our way downtown to The Egg.

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The Egg. I myself was a guest at several FantaCons held in that self-same structure back in the late seventies, early eighties, but hadn’t been inside it since – and I’d never, ever seen a concert there. Well, we parked, hopped the elevator, and soon reached our destination (but not before I turned to Julie and said, “Hey kid, dig it – we’re in The Egg, man! Goo goo ga joob!” Well, SHE laughed anyway…). Our timing was perfect – we were seated just moments before the lights dimmed. And ohmigosh, what seats they were! Third row from the stage, probably no more than thirty feet from the microphone!

Opening act, Kamila Thompson, was already on stage, accompanied only by her acoustic guitar. She sang several of her own compositions in a clear, strong voice, inherited no doubt from her legendary British folkie folks, Richard and Linda. The audience warmed to her, no doubt partially due to her engaging between song chatter, but also because she didn’t overstay her welcome, playing for just under thirty minutes.

In this instance, it WASN’T a case of Women and Children first, but instead, second. This foursome – which started out with the female vocalist alone at the keyboards for the opening number, subsequently being joined by the other members of the group one by one on the next several selections – wasn’t as warmly received. Oh, they weren’t bad by any means, but I’m thinking, in a small venue like this, two opening acts is maybe one too many. The crowd was clearly getting antsy for the headliner, and this group’s occasional atonal musical experiments seemed to be trying the auditorium’s collective patience. And they played too long – nearly an hour – after which we had to wait another twenty minutes before the stage was ready for the evening’s featured attraction.

Finally, as the clock neared 9:30 (the show had originally been advertised as running from 7 until 9, but that was sans Women and Children), Sean Lennon and his four-piece band hit the stage to a warm welcome from the small (a 450 seat venue not quite filled to capacity) but enthusiastic crowd! And like I said, there he was, no more than ten yards away! Quite a stark contrast from seeing his dad’s old buddy Paul in an arena, lemme tell ya!

Sporting a bushy beard, a fifties’ ad-exec hat, and a dapper suit and tie (with each male member of the band duded up in similar – if not matching – outfits, minus the head gear), Sean stepped up to the mic, brandishing an acoustic guitar of his own, and launched directly into one of the tunes from Friendly Fire. Which one, I couldn’t tell you, but over the course of the next hour, the band would play all ten selections from the album, as well as one new, unrecorded, song, the instrumental jam that plays under the DVD’s end credits, and for a second encore (the first being Sean alone with his guitar doing “Tomorrow”), “Mystery Juice”, the lone selection lifted from his debut CD. In fact, after introducing the band – Cameron Grieder on guitar, Brad Albetta on bass, Bill Dobrow on drums, and Yuka Honda on the keyboard – he turned to Yuka (who’s also the group’s musical director) and observed that they’d been working together for 12 or 13 years, and that little ditty was in fact the very first song they worked on for their very first CD, where it properly resides as the disc’s very first cut! Now, it’s the very LAST thing they play – hey, THAT’S irony!

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How were they? Absolutely wonderful. The playing was precise, but still loose enough as to not come across as pre-packaged. Lennon’s singing was assured, sounding every bit as strong as on the CD – clearly, no studio trickery was needed to sweeten his vocal contributions. The man can most certainly sing! And y’know, when he hunched his shoulders slightly as he sang into the microphone, the body language looked remarkably similar to one of the fellows in that old A Hard Days Night flick!…

The arrangements for the songs (which, incidentally, were NOT played in the same sequential order as on the CD) largely adhered to the recorded versions, with the occasionally focused extended jam elongating a tune to nice effect. The only exception came with “Headlights”, a number that depended on syncopated hand clapping for it’s percussion on the disc. As the group clearly had their hands otherwise occupied, Sean announced that they’d prepared a modified arrangement for the road, and he hoped folks would recognize it (not to worry…).

I’ve gotta admit, initially, I’d just assumed Sean was going to let his guitarist do the heavy picking, leaving Lennon to merely strum his acoustic throughout the show. Midway through, though, he swapped his folkie model for an electric number, and I was surprised that when they came to Marc (T Rex) Bolan’s “Would I Be The One” (the lone number not composed by Lennon), it was Sean, not his bandmate, playing that number’s smokin’ hot guitar solo! Who knew? The kid (who’s now, um, in his early thirties) is apparently a man of many talents.

The crowd loved him – clearly, many in the audience were already familiar with Friendly Fire – but that doesn’t mean the evening was without incident. As the applause for the first number was subsiding, some knuckle head in the back shouted out, “Hey Sean – listen to what the man said!”. The place was intimate enough that there was no way to ignore the remark, though Lennon seemed momentarily confused by it. Hoping to be helpful, the big-mouth in the back clearly pointed out the McCartney connection, but Sean quickly fired back some humorously cutting remark to the unwelcome heckler, eliciting the wild approval of the remainder of the crowd, but unfortunately, the loose-lipped goofball wasn’t quite done. After the next number, he yelled out a total non sequiter (something about a coal mine, I think – I TOLD you it made no sense…), was blessedly silent after the third song, but screamed out “Lenny Kravitz!” after the fourth tune. As Sean once worked with Lenny, he responded by remarking, “Lenny Kravitz. Well, that’s a GOOD thing to shout out at a rock concert, I guess. Not like, y’know, “Celine Dion, WOOOOO!”, an ad lib that had the crowd laughing heartily.

Thankfully, this uncomfortably ersatz Abbott and Costello routine – “Who’s On Stage?” – came to a merciful end during a run through of the CD’s title track, as a couple of beefy guards escorted Lennon’s unwelcome straight man from the facilities, sparing the rest of us his “wit” for the remainder of the evening. The show was so much better without any more unsolicited contributions from the peanut-brained gallery, take my word for it. (Though when Sean later returned to the stage to perform his solo encore, someone else shouted out “Airtight Garage!!”, a reference that very much intrigued Lennon. He explained it was a comic strip by Jean Giraud (aka Moebius) that he quite liked, and that yes, he really digs comic books! In fact, growing up, he wanted to be a super-hero, but failing that, he became a musician instead – which he suggested was almost as good!)

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(I suppose I should be relieved that over-eager patron number two didn’t squeal out “Magneto and Titanium Man!”…)

Well, after a rousing standing O, it was all over by 10:30. Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever attended a concert in which an album was preformed in its entirety – and one that I was so very fond of to boot! After having to practically be dragged to both a Ringo Starr concert and a Paul McCartney show in the not all that distant past, it did my little heart good to find my daughter nowadays so in sync (as opposed to N’Sync, who she USTA like) with her dad when it came to music generally and in particular this evening’s show. Fact is, we couldn’t possibly leave without securing a Sean Lennon tee-shirt for her, one she wore proudly to school the next day. (Lynn and Roger were similarly impressed, by the way, though both skipped the opportunity to upgrade their wardrobes…) (And hey, Rog – thanks for coming along! It made a swell night even sweller, sharing it with an old buddy!)

So my advice to you folks out there is two-fold: if Sean Lennon comes anywhere near your environs, grab yourself a ticket (they’re criminally under-priced), then run out, buy the CD, and live with it in the weeks leading up to the show, playing it over and over. After which, go to the show – you WON’T be disappointed.

And if he’s NOT playing anywhere in your area, well, buy the CD anyway. Again, disappointment is highly unlikely.

Y’know, maybe it’s time for me to reassess my take on Yoko. After all, she certainly raised herself an impressive kid under far from the easiest of circumstances.

Hey, Larry – you might do well to borrow a page – heck, maybe even a couple of complete chapters – from the lady’s book with baby Dannilynn, dig?

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Hembeck.com – also not a DNA match with Howard K. Stern (and proud of it), but always open to a Lennon (even the Sisters!). And after visiting my site and Roger‘s, why not stop over at Sean Lennon‘s? You can check out a little of what I’ve been describing here for yourself!

-Copyright 2007 Fred Hembeck

Music For The Masses: 4/19/07 The Blast From The Past

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:13 am

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Hey everybody! This week at Music for the Masses we are ramming our fist in and digging deep into an un-lubed vault to pull forth one of the legendary issues of this here column. “Legendary how?,” you ask. Why, because I say so, that’s why…and umm, because it was the issue from exactly a year ago and I just couldn’t get motivated to write about the new one from the Cowboy Junkies. Sorry. Life… what an unfair bitch, huh? Now, if you are a long-time reader, well, gee, it really sucks to be you this week because you’ve already read this and, I’m sure, laughed till you cried. However, if you are relatively new to our corner of the web, file this one under “New To You” and enjoy a time in this articles existence when I actually did multiple reviews all by myself with nary a Double A or J.D. in sight, opened with a mighty helping of non-musical bullshit, the site was named after a butthole and I had a weird infatuation with Clay Aiken…umm, don’t ask. So, without further ado and because I need to get back to watching Face Fucke…I mean, working, I present to you this little blast from past…

MUSIC FOR THE MASSES

April 19th, 2006

By M.C. Bell


Hello, friends. Glad you made it back, safe and sound. I have a question for all you out there: do you enjoy sleep as much as I do? If you’re anything like me, and we’ve already established you are, then the answer is “Damn straight, M.C. You bet we do!” And I gotta say, friends, I enjoy the hell out of sleeping but unfortunately, I had been having a little trouble lately falling to sleep on the spotty, old futon. Hell, even the old stand-bys like warm milk, sex, which I like to call “Dancing with the Jackson 5” and the last couple episodes of Lost couldn’t even put me to sleep. And believe you me, if the last couple episodes of Lost can’t knock you out, you know you’re in trouble. I was so desperate, in fact, that I turned to an amazing, little pill known for its dramatic effects. No, I’m not talking Viagara®, although, I will admit that a 4 hour erection gets to be a little tiring. I’m actually talking about Ambien®.

Have you heard about this stuff? If you haven’t, let me be the first to tell you that, holy crap, these pills REALLY work. Here’s the directions for usage, as I understand them: Take two pills, chase them with a fifth of Jack and wake up sometime next Tuesday. What’s that you say? Can’t afford to sleep for 6 days straight? No worries, because you see, that’s the best part. Apparently, while you are asleep, your interactions with the world never stop. Pretty cool, huh? Of course, you do need to be careful, because, as I have been made painfully aware, you can get yourself into all kinds of mischief.

For instance, it appears that while enjoying my Ambien slumber, I have become quite the internet shopper. My favorite item? Underwear. No big deal, right? In fact, when I awoke the first time and found 4 packs of Hanes skivvies on the counter, I was like, “Cool! New sausage covers!” You see, I really needed new underwear because most of my old ones looked like they hit a deer doing 60. But over time, I started buying. . .umm, “strange” underwear and then, one of my friends showed me this. . .

Apparently sometimes, when I’m asleep, I just want to feel pretty.

You know, it’s all fun and games until your friends show you a picture of yourself, with freshly shorn legs and your junk taped to your butt, dressed in Wonder Woman underwear, flexing in the middle of your tricked out bachelor pad. These are the things that make you say, “Whoa!” So, needless to say, I’ve cut back a bit on the Ambien consumption. Good thing, too. I was starting to have some pretty bizarre dreams. In fact, just the other night I was dreaming that I was eating tootsie rolls from a fancy hors de oeuvres tray and woke up hugging my cat’s litter box. You know, maybe I should stop taking this crap before I buy something really expensive or dream that I’m eating a hot fudge sundae and wake up with a spoon sticking out of my ass.

I bought this new video and some of her perfume, which smells like 4 day old ham and stale urine.

So, friends, if you know anybody who needs a crate of the new Mariah Carey perfume, which is called, provocatively enough “Crème Filled,” “The View” cookbook, tickets to Puppetry of the Penis or some velour sweatpants with “I Love Simon Cowell!” emblazoned across the ass, let me know. Or, hell, maybe I’ll just throw them back on eGay where I found them. Ba da bum!!

But enough about that. This week, we have some exciting new releases like the sequel to Operation Mindcrime from Queensryche, the new Flaming Lips, Blue October and Built To Spill. Plus, we get to hear what some readers are listening too. Pretty full plate, eh? So. . .what do you say? Let’s get to it, shall we?

Artist: Queensryche
Album: Operation: Mindcrime II
Bastard Love Child of: Cool, old Queensryche and the newer, “suckier” version.
Best for: Making you realize two things about this band, a) Geoff Tate has “questionable” sexuality and b) the band’s best music is behind them.

Wow! Is that “Pleather?”

Ask any progressive metal fan and they’ll tell you that Operation: Mindcrime II is the coolest and most highly anticipated event of the year. However, what they won’t tell you about this new Queensryche release is that it is also, arguably, the coolest thing to happen to them in the last 18 years outside of the one time they “accidentally” saw their cousin’s tit while water-skiing. Seriously. You see, it has been 18 long, lonely, masturbation-filled years for Queensryche fans since they were first treated to Operation: Mindcrime.

Now, many of you out there are probably asking yourself “Why in the hell is this new release so exciting?” And the answer to that is simple, folks, but bear with me a sec. You see, first, I gotta tell you that Operation: Mindcrime is one, kick-ass album. And, for those of you who don’t know or have smoked WAY too much meth recently, Mindcrime is a progressive-metal concept album that tells the story of a government-trained killer, Nikki, who is set up for the murder of his girlfriend after refusing orders to kill her and is sent to prison to play butt-darts with his cell mate, Leon. Okay. . .maybe that last part is just “implied.” Regardless, the disc was a marvel of progressive musicianship and a monster hit for the band. Oh yeah, and it is, easily, one of the best concept albums ever produced.

So, needless to say, any fan would be excited by a continuation of this story. But in all actuality, Operation: Mindcrime 2 is exciting to progressive rock fans because after looking at the lead singer here. . .

many of us were just happy that the new album wasn’t a sequel to this. . .

Seriously… I’m convinced that we dodged a bullet here. That’s right, friends, luckily, Queensryche decided to ignore Geoff Tate’s proclivity for ass-less chaps and body glitter and decided to go back to what they do best as a band: angry, pissed-off concept albums. Operation: Mindcrime II fits that bill nicely and picks up the original’s story right where it leaves off. Our hero, Nikki, is still in prison and still scratching his head going “WTF?” However, as the album progresses, Nikki is released and we soon come to find out that there is going to be hell to pay. You see, apparently Nikki is a little peeved at a) being wrongfully imprisoned and b)having his asshole re-sized to accommodate an eggplant. Again, I’m pretty sure that last part was “implied.” And being a trained killer and all, Nikki has little trouble exacting revenge on his tormentors, with the exception of Leon, in a sufficiently bloody way.

All in all, I gotta tell you. . .the whole “Rock, Revenge, and Redemption” angle works really well here. It’s more than apparent that these guys desperately miss their original guitarist, Chris Degarmo, but overall, their sound is as loud, complex and entertaining as it has been in years. It is also nice to see the band move back to their progressive roots and riff-heavy music. Operation: Mindcrime II still captures the whole “musically adventurous rock opera” thing, but falls short of being as brilliant as its predecessor. Still, I gotta say that it manages to entertain both fans and non-fans alike.

Supposedly, one of the main selling points for old fans of the band is that Mary’s killer is finally revealed. But I gotta tell you… I’ve listened to this disc like 18 times, plus I read the lyrics, and I couldn’t tell you who the hell murdered the nappy whore. Maybe it was Dr. X in the Billiards Room with the Candlestick. Shit, I don’t know.

If you are an old fan of the band, I would definitely recommend buying the CD. . .of course, I’m sure that most of you already have. For you non-fans out there, do yourself a favor and pick up the original Operation: Mindcrime. It doesn’t get much better than that. Then, once you’ve been converted, come back to this new album and check out my personal favorites: “I’m American,” “The Hands,” “Re-Arrange You,” “The Chase” (which features guest vocals from Ronnie James Dio as Dr. X) and “Please Don’t Do Me In The Ass Again, Leon. . .I’m Sore.” Of course, that last song title, I believe, is mostly just “implied.”

Sir… I’m going to have to ask you to remove the ferret from your chest and slowly. . .slowly take your hand out of your pants.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Artist: Flaming Lips
Album:At War with the Mystics
Bastard Love Child of: The Velvet Underground and Syd Barret-era Pink Floyd.
Best for: Making Pink Floyd’s “Live at Pompeii” seem “not all that weird” and somewhat “entertaining.”

“I’m in the Flaming Lips band. My best friend is my right hand.”

You know, the first thing I think about when I hear the words “Flaming Lips” is “Good lord, woman… get yourself to a gynecologist, stat!” The second thing I think about is that I always wanted to be a free-lance gynecologist but, apparently, the great state of Colorado frowns upon somebody opening a clinic out of the back of a’72 Dodge Dart. Third, I think about Wayne Coyne’s bizarre-ass, little musical group from Oklahoma… where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plains.

Love them or hate them, you have to admit that the guys in the Flaming Lips, well, mostly Wayne, have created some of the most interesting, unusual and, more times than not, annoying music out there today. Originally formed in 1983, the FLips, as their equally freakish fans like to call them, have been cranking out art house, acid pop at a fairly prolific rate. Of course, this assumes that you consider Wayne Coyne’s attempts at directing an “orchestra” of 40 cars with synchronized tape decks as “music” (I shit you not. Try as I might, you just can’t make some of this stuff up).

Now, it is usually easy to dismiss a band like this (I’m looking at you, Coulier!), but what keeps the Flaming Lips interesting is that every once in a while, they hit one out of the park. Take their last album, Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, for instance. That disc was actually a main-stream hit. In fact, it was the most success the band has had in almost 13 years (and no, I don’t count that appearance on Beverly Hills, 90120 as a measure of success. If it would have been Melrose Place… or Charles In Charge, maybe.)

 

Honestly? My money’s on the “guy in black” being the REALLY fucked up one.

So, needless to say, when I picked up the new disc, At War with the Mystics, I had no clue what to expect, aside from some freaky guitar work, and my expectations could not have been lower. And maybe that’s EXACTLY why I enjoyed this disc as much as I did.

Believe it or not, At War with the Mystics is actually a pretty straight forward, psychedelic rocker with only minimal, “spacey” interludes. I’m guessing that Wayne is finally taking his meds. Hooray, for Lithium!! Keep in mind, though, this is still a Flaming Lips disc. For instance, I did start to panic a bit when I heard the very first track, “The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song” for the very first time. If you haven’t heard this song yet, think of the most annoying voice in the world, say Fran Drescher’s, and picture it saying “Jah, Jah, Jah,” over and over again. Yeah, exactly. I honestly thought the song was going to make me sterile. . .not sure how, but I SWEAR I could feel the little guys dying. . .and all I could think was, “Oh shit. Here we go.” But these moments are, thankfully, few and far between and don’t detract as much from the “actual” music as they did on either of their last two albums.

If you are unsure of whether or not this disc is for you, I would recommend that you dress up in your finest “Green Alien with Giant Yellow Nippples” costume and check out they very Floyd-esque tracks “The Sound of Failure” and “It Overtakes Me.” If you dig the sound of those two tracks, this disc is a safe and solid bet.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Artist: Blue October
Album: Foiled
Bastard Love Child of: Peter Gabriel and Nickelback. . .that one’s for you, Chris!
Best for:Helping you understand that some artists do their best work while totally and completely bat-shit, insane.

I’m pretty sure they are yelling something about wearing eye shadow to the photo shoot.

Much like my friend, Justin, I’m sitting here in my dippity-do room at the hospital, typing on the old tuna. They tell me that I recently had some kind of psychotic break, triggered by repeated listenings of John Tesh’s new album Tunes From A Giant Forhead. But how can I argue? I love tacos. Talking to the doctor, the one who looks like Dick Cheney, I came to the realization that I can only, truly, find my happy Plah-doh© place if I’m listening to singers who dance like Peter Gabriel. Crazy, huh? Yep, peanut butter! Find me one of those floating in the sky and I’m going to be happier than Michael Jackson on a NAMBLA-sponsored camping trip. Ever hear John Cusack play his raincoat to Kate’s Bush, I mean, Kate Bush? Whatever, porkchop… I will not hurt the nice people. But Peter Gabriel’s music, to me, is about as good as talking envelopes get. Uh oh… here comes the orange nurse with sleep in her hand. What’s that hairy nurse? Time for my pills? But I’m talking to my friend’s right now and I don’ttttttttttttttttttttttttttt….

Okay… back now… for a bit. Now where was I? Oh yeah… Peter Gabriel. So, right about now you are probably saying to yourself, “Holy shit, that was weird” and “Hey, that’s great, but what exactly does Peter Gabriel have to do with the dude, up there in the picture, wearing the latest from Mabeline’s ‘Trashy Club Whore’ collection?”

Well, I’ll tell you. See, first, Justin Furstenfeld, that guy up there with a mild case of “gender confusion,” had a little problem with “reality” and was “committed” to an “insane” asylum. . .like me. Who knew they could commit you for putting too much male nudity up on the internet? Unlike me, he is the lead singer for a hot new group, Blue October, and the dude sounds EXACTLY like Peter Gabriel. And no, I’m not hallucinating again or throwing that comparison around lightly. And yes, I am lucid enough now to know that I’ve said that before, like with the group Elbow, but this time I mean it… kinda like when I tell the girls I date that I’m only going to put it in for a minute and then take it right back out (And, yes, they are having me work through those “lying” issues in therapy, too). I defy you to listen to this band for more than 30 seconds, any song, and tell me that Justin doesn’t sound like a Gabriel clone. And no, junior, I don’t mean that in a bad way.

This is Blue October’s new poster warning of the dangers of auto-erotic asphyxiation.

I mean it in an “Oh my God, that crazy SOB created an AMAZING disc” way. I’ve always said, when it comes to musicians, and on-line music reviewers, “the wackier the better.” And if Foiled represents the kind of material that you can come up with while swatting at imaginary bugs and watching Judge Judy between sponge baths, then I’m all for it. Hell, if this is the kind of output you can have when you’re nuts, I might extend my stay a bit. After all, I get three squares a day here, all the drugs I can take, a free drool-bib and a nice spot down by the duck pond for when I get “too excited.” I’ve even had time to create a list of singers and artists I feel should be committed, too. First up? Easy. Brittany “Baby, You Can Drive My Car” Spears.

You want crazy? This chick is crazy.

Bat-shit insane, “cuckoo for Coco Puffs,” Looney as a Tune… whatever… Blue October (consisting of lead vocalist Justin, three or four random voices in his head, violinist/keyboardist Ryan Delahoussaye, drummer Jeremy Furstenfeld, guitarist CB Hudson and bassist Matt Novesky) has crafted a virtually perfect album. Pretty lofty statement, huh? No, I’m still not hallucinating… although I feel the pills wearing off and no, I’m not joking. Foiled just surpassed Hotel Lights as my favorite to be released this year. Each and every song here is single-worthy, immediately recognizable, catchy, clever and most importantly, different in both tempo and mood. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m serious. It is truly phenomenal, with a little something for all the different voices in your head. I firmly believe that this is the album that will finally break this band… in a BIG way. You heard it hear first, pudding hand. Uh oh… fading fast… better wrap this up.

In addition to the first single, “Hate Me,” check out the pencil’s best songs, the melodic and moody “Into the Ocean” and the spank-tastic “X-Amount of Words.” You know, Timmy ate it, too, and he didn’t turn green so you should definitely know that its absolutely brilliant. Buy the whole disc and eat it on rye with a slice of pickle. That makes for one, delicious swimming pool!!!

Rating: 5 out 5

Artist: Built To Spill
Album: You In Reverse
Bastard Love Child of: Pavement and Neil Young
Best for:Making any yard, garden or record collection complete.

3 guys and their lawn gnome.

So, you probably don’t know this, (kudos if you do), but that guy in the picture above, Doug Martsch, wearing the hat with the “reservoir tip,” is an honest to goodness, alternative guitar god. Bet you’ve never heard that statement before, eh? Let’s see… counting all of the “alternative guitar gods”… you have… umm, well, Doug and… umm.. a nd J. Mascis from Dinosaur Jr. … and, well, that’s about it.

Here’s Doug showing his “cheeky” side during Lollapalooza.

Yep, without a doubt, Doug can play one mean guitar AND, apparently, grow one helluva beard. Together with an ever-rotating cast of supporting characters, Doug Martsch crafted numerous, outstanding, guitar-driven albums, like 1994’s There’s Nothing Wrong With Love, fan-favorite Perfect From Now On and the amazing Keep It Like a Secret, that helped make Built To Spill one of the biggest alternative acts of the ’90’s. Of course, tearing up the stages of Lollapalooza as one of the more consistent and entertaining acts didn’t hurt, either.

And then came their last disc, Ancient Melodies of the Future, a self-indulgent (even for these guys) and boring piece of crap that put a halt to the band’s stellar, indie track record. In fact, if there is ANYBODY out there thinking of buying this album, give me your $12 and, in return, I’ll kick you square in the nuts. Trust me. . .it will be a more enjoyable experience. Of course, if you don’t have nuts (i.e. ladies or married men), well… give me your $12 and I’ll just sucker punch you in the throat. Again… it will be a much more enjoyable experience.

In fact, I had all but forgotten this band until, during a random conversation, I was informed that Doug and the gang (no relation to Kool) were coming out with a new album. Needless to say, when I first heard this, I was a bit conflicted. At first, I was like “Sweet! Those guys used to rock.” But then I was like, “Ahh. . .damn! How am I going to kick myself in the nuts?” Luckily, I’m not going to have to figure out the logistics on how that would work.

Here’s Doug enjoying a smoke in his garden home.

Built To Spill’s new album, You In Reverse, is a winner. Straight up. The songs are still expansive and the guitars are still intricately tangled and fuzzy, but the Boise, Idaho based band has trimmed things up a bit. For starters, the songs are a tad shorter (with the exception of the opening track) and the “Bearded One” has somehow managed to replace his propensity for ripping killer guitar solos with a more restrained propensity for turning a catchy, lyrical phrase. Pretty slick. And I will readily admit, tightening things up works EXTREMELY well. However, you old school fans should be forewarned because it’s highly likely that the inclusion of the additional, and more subdued, vocals is going to piss you off. But then again, your propensity for not showering pisses ME off, so we’ll call it square, k?

The “other” thing I really like about this new album is how Martsch crafts the solos to not sound like filler… umm, even though they probably are… and the sound here, overall, is a lot less “jam band.” In particular, check out the concise guitar work in “Conventional Wisdom.” Good stuff! Other album highlights are the tracks “Liar,” the album closer “The Wait” and the Tex-Mex romp “Mess With Time.”

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT… AGAIN.

So… last time out, I begged you fine folks to let me in on your secret, musical worlds and only a few of you actually responded. And to those of you who did? Thank you and know this… I am reserving a special place in heaven for you, as I do for all of my special helpers. Of course, it’s at the “kid’s table” with Jon Benet, but don’t worry… we’ll save you some potatoes.

For the rest of you, I am going to create “Hell on Earth” until you shoot me an email telling me which bands or songs make your naughty spot tingle. How am I going to do that? Simple. I am going to run a fresh, new picture of Clay Aiken each and every time until I am satisfied. Consider yourself warned. Oh, and enjoy the picture there of Clay having his prostrate milked.

Bet hey… how about some props for the foks that sent me the 411, ‘aight? For instance, I received this email from “A,” an actual, female reader. Seriously. You know, much like the Yeti or Bigfoot, I knew in my heart that female readers existed but I never had proof… until now…

“A” writes: “What I’m playing over and over and over and over… is the new Dresden Dolls, “Yes, Virginia.”

Outstanding, “A. I, too, enjoy the whole “German cabaret” alternative thing and I’m not even gay! Well, at least not since that one time in college, but I was really, really drunk and I barely enjoyed it.

I also received an email from one of the coolest readers I have, Josh Rothberg. Not only does Josh have impeccable taste, but he, apparently, has a set of the biggest balls I have never seen. Check out how he not only gives me his top shelf bands, but he also offers up, unsolicited, a list of guilty pleasures…

Here’s a list of bands and artists that grab me by the balls and squeeze ’em until I’m singing like Clay Aiken:

Wilco. System of a down. Audioslave. Kanye West. Weezer. The mutha-fing White Stripes. and, my all-time favorite band ever, The Beatles. old school, but still the shiznit.

As for my guilty pleasures: Rockwell “somebody’s watching me”, Alice Cooper “man behind the mask”, Limahl “neverending story”, Gerard McMann “Cry little sister”—Marilyn Manson’s got nothing on Gerard McMann, believe it!

You know, out of respect for Josh’s “largeness” and for him actually admitting to liking Rockwell… I will reserve further comment. I’m not even going to say anything about a white guy’s blatant use of the word “shiznet.”

And last, but surely not least… we have Slack Robert, from Canada. Of course, as many of you know from past experience with readers from Canada, I will have to slow down my typing now so that Robert can read along…

Right now, its Social Distortion’s Sex, Love and Rock and Roll…

What else is spanking my ass and calling me Suzie these days…? Hank III. Metric. Magneta Lane. Elliot Brood. The Populars. Broken Social Scene. Brian Setzer’s new one kicked me in the ass, drank my whiskey and left me for dead on the side of the road. The Swiftys. The Kills. The Inner City Surfers.

Wow, Robert. That’s an impressive list. Here’s how I read it:

BLAH BLAH Social Distortion’s Sex, Love and Rock and Roll BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH Hank III BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH Brian Setzer’s new oneBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

So, in regards to your list, Robert, I, too, really dig Social D, Hank III and Brian Setzer.! Just joking, man. Nice work. I honestly haven’t heard of a lot of those Canadian bands, but if you say they are winners, I will definitely check them out. After all, one of my favorite bands of all time hails from Canada… Rush, baby!! Yeah!!

Well, friends, I’m afraid that is going to wrap it up. Whew!! That was a long one, huh? Until next time, keep wearing it proud and playing it loud.

Send your herbal sleep remedies, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

See you next week, folks!

QSE News: 4/19/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:06 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgAmerican Idol judge Simon Cowell has come under fire for what many people are saying was a showing of disrespect towards the tragedy in Virginia.  While contestant Chris Richardson expressed his sorrow over the incident, Cowell was shown rolling his eyes.  Cowell claims that he was reacting to something else, and not the comments by Richardson.  Oddly enough, no one said anything when Cowell said of Sanjaya’s performance “Wow, you blew us away.  It was like snuck up behind us while we were watching the play Our American Cousin and shot us in the back of the head. What? Too soon?”
  • Actor Rip Torn has pleaded guilty to driving under the influence after he was involved in an accident in December.  Torn, who has been in such hit movies as the Men In Black films and Freddy Got Fingered, was required to pay $380 in fines and give up his license for 90 days.  Torn released a statement thanking the court for not sending him to prison where his name would have “become adjectives to describe his anus.”
  • Organizers of a cruise line that caters to gay and lesbian families has canceled a planned stop in Bermuda for fear of protests on the tropical island.  The cruise, which was founded by corpulent lesbian Rosie O’Donnell, will instead make stops in Florida and other islands.  Insiders are saying that the real reason residents of Bermuda are protesting is that they fear with O’Donnell’s expansive girth, she may in fact sink the island or eat a large part of the island’s population.
  • British pop-music import Lily Allen has cancelled her American tour, leaving only festivals on her tour schedule. Allen says the reason for the cancellations is due to her concern for putting on a good show. The fourteen people who bought tickets for her American shows will receive a full refund.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/19/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:53 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Yes, Studio 60 was just this pretentious and self-important… (Thingamabob)
  • A John Kerry interview from Talking Points Memo, with a fascinating look behind-the-scenes of The Colbert Report(Thingamabob)
  • Garfield in the Mark Evanier-penned “Mistakes Will Happen”… (Thingamabob)
  • Doesn’t this make you want to see Ratatouille even more?… (Thingamabob)
  • If you’ve never seen Spaced… Well, correct that gross oversight post haste… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 18, 2007

Monkey Talk with Paul Dini: Dad’s Diet

Filed under: Monkey Talk,Quickcasts,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:42 pm

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-By Paul Dini & Rashy

Paul Dini’s “Monkey Talk” (co-hosted by his irrepressible sock monkey son, Rashy) returns with a titanic test of wills, as Rashy brings his own special brand of support to Paul’s attempt at dieting. Be sure to check out Rashy’s official site at LittleRashy.com

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DOWNLOAD:
Large
(560 x 420 – QuickTime – 44.5 MB)
Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 19.2 MB)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/18/2007

Filed under: Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:05 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Whose Line Is It Anyway? – Scenes From A Hat… (Thingamabob)
  • Ryan & Colin Mochrie as The Lone Ranger & Tonto… (Thingamabob)
  • And finally, Richard Simmons vs. Whose Line(Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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Game On! 4-18-2007: At Home In The Arcade…

Filed under: Game On! — admin @ 1:13 am

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This week we’re seeing a decent number of downloads for both the Wii Virtual Console and Xbox Live Arcade. Yesterday, gamers got the original PUNCH OUT! (sans Mike Tyson) from the NES (500 Wii Points), VIRTUA FIGHTER 2 (the 16 bit Genesis version, not the 32 bit Saturn one, 800 Wii Points), and BONK’S REVENGE, the TurboGrafx16 sequel to BONK’S ADVENTURE (600 Wii Points). While PUNCH OUT! is the obvious best of the three, VIRTUA FIGHTER 2 has it’s crazy 16 bit charm. BONK’S REVENGE doesn’t really hold up as well as I remember (but then again, neighter did BONK’S ADVENTURE) but it’s nice to see that there has been a consistant outpour of titles on Nintendo’s newest system.

Xbox, however, hasn’t had as much consistancy which is why this week comes as such a surprise. Not only are we getting the classic Konami shooter GYRUSS for 400 Microsoft points tomorrow, but we’re getting a brand new title as well. 3D ULTRA MINIGOLF ADVENTURES may have the longest generic title EVER, but actually offers a good many courses, all for 800 Microsoft points. Two XBLA games in one day is certainly an achievement for the service, whose Xbox Live Arcade Wednesdays have been about as regular as…well, as my columns.

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Speaking of arcade games, Konami just released 15 classic games on the DS under the simple title KONAMI CLASSIC SERIES: ARCADE HITS. Included on the cartridge are familiar classics as GRADIUS, SCRAMBLE, TIME PILOT, TRACK & FIELD, RUSH ‘N ATTACK, and my favorite CONTRA, as well as more obscure title as POOYAN, CIRCUS CHARLIE, HORROR MAZE, ROC ‘N ROPE, and more.The great thing about the cartridge is that they present the games as full arcade emulations, even supporting the original aspect ratio of some of the games (such as CONTRA’s longer screen)…but playing with the DS flipped on it’s side to enjoy these games takes some getting used to. Still, the full arcade versions of 15 titles is excellent, with some of the best emulation I’ve seen for a handheld in quite some time.

For the purists and completists, there’s even a full gallery of Japanese and American cabinet artwork, as well as music selections from each of the 15 games. To top it all off, each game features wireless download play for multiplayer gamesharing, as well as for folks who each have the game to compete wirelessly with each other, to see who can get the top scores.

Since most arcades are now a thing of the past, it’s nice to see that we can get some of the old classics to enjoy in the privacy of our own homes… or on the go.

Cause, frankly… I’ll never be able to afford one of those old cabinets. Damnit.

ONE GAMER’S OPINION:
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THE GAME ON! RATING SYSTEM

 

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Ratings From Greatest to Least:

Kick Ass, Right On, Okay, Eh, and Stinker (aka CRAPTACULAR)

 

QSE News: 4/18/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:06 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgKirsten Dunst has gone on record saying that any Spider-Man film made without the involvement of director Sam Raimi, actor Toby Maguire, and herself would be a failure. The three, among a few others, have appeared in all 3 Spider-Man films, with the latest installment coming to theaters early next month. Dunst’s comments seem to have fallen on deaf ears as Sony Pictures is already planning a fourth Spidey film featuring a cast made up almost entirely of transgender Japanese gymnasts with Tourette’s Syndrome.
  • In related news, director Sam Raimi has hinted that he would be interested in directing a film version of The Hobbit.  Raimi would take over for Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson who, after a disagreement with New Line Cinema, left the project.  Of course, if this comes to fruition, one could only guess at how Bruce Campbell, the Necronomicon and Raimi’s piece of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] first car will factor into this Tolkien’s telling.
  • Protestors in India have begun burning effigies of Richard Gere after he kissed Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty on the cheek in public.  In the Hindu culture, public displays of affection are very taboo, and many people in the country have begun protesting both Gere and Shetty.  While many groups burned the effigies of Gere, at press time it was unclear if any innocent gerbils were burned in the protests.  PETA is currently investigating.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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April 17, 2007

QSE News: 4/17/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:30 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgJennifer Lopez and her husband Marc Anthony are suing the National Enquirer in several outside-U.S cities. Lopez and Anthony were reported in the paper as being involved in a heroin scandal. The suit will likely end quickly as there is no way Lopez is on heroin… coke maybe, but not heroin.
  • Lawrence Kasdan has been tapped to write the remake of the cult classic film Clash of the Titans.  Kasdan, who has written several films including Star Wars Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark, will be taking over for Travis Beacham, who has written a draft of the film.  Kasdan plans to stick fairly close to the original, but does plan on putting in a scene where Zeus reveals to Perseus that he is his father, then Zeus proceeds to cut Perseus’s hand off.
  • Former Phish keyboardist Page McConnell will be releasing his first solo album today. The album, titled Page McConnell, will feature guest appearances from all of McConnell’s Phish band mates. The album is expected to be a hit among rich college kids who have rejected their parent’s capitalistic lifestyle… except when they need money for food, weed, gas or new sandals.
  • The divorce between Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora has been finalized. Court reporters noted that while the divorce still made headlines, a lot more people would care if it was still 1989.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/17/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:24 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Remember when Cracker Jacks had real prizes worth caring about in them? (Thingamabob)
  • Why can’t we have journalists like this in the US? (Thingamabob)
  • Go support Team Venture, why don’tcha? Go! (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 16, 2007

Comics in Context #173: Happy Heresies

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 3:23 am

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cic2007-04-16.jpgLast week I wrote about Dave Cockrum and Marshall Rogers, both of whom recently passed away, and whose innovative work as comics artists in the 1970s had considerable impact on the superhero genre. But tastes shifted, and neither artist was considered “hot” in the last few decades. Will their reputations continue to fade? Are the people paying tribute to their work doing so merely out of nostalgia? Or, as time passes, bringing new perspectives, will their work prove to be enduring classics, that survive the shifting tides of fashion?

Recently I read online a 2004 piece by the essayist Paul Graham titled “What You Can’t Say“. He starts out by asking, “Have you ever seen an old photo of yourself and been embarrassed at the way you looked? Did we actually dress like that? We did. And we had no idea how silly we looked.” That’s because fashions change, and what seems stylish in one decade may well look ridiculous in the next. Graham moves from this example of fashion in clothing to the subject of “moral fashions” and fashions in ideas, which both can prove just as ephemeral and wrong. I find that I can apply much of what he says about shifting fashion to the world of the creative arts as well.

Graham contends that “In every period, people believed things that were just ridiculous, and believed them so strongly that you would have gotten in terrible trouble for saying otherwise.”

I saw a couple of comics pros at this year’s New York Comic-Con who were superstars a little over a decade ago. They would have been mobbed at a con in the 1990s, but at this 2007 con they attracted relatively little notice. They had proved to be no more than creatures of the popular fashions in comics of that time, and their work lacked the true artistry that would make it vital and relevant to a new century. Why, collecting multiple copies of their work back in the 1990s now seems ridiculous.

But, Graham warns, we must not assume that the present day is more enlightened than the past. “It would be a remarkable coincidence if ours were the first era to get everything just right.” Graham finds that “It’s tantalizing we believe things that people in the future will find ridiculous.” Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns are still popular twenty years after they were published, and it looks likely that they are becoming true classics. Which of the “hot” comics of 2007 will still matter in 2027?

Graham asserts that it is difficult to see beyond the conventional thinking of one’s own time, and identify which notions will prove in time to be transient fashions. “Indeed, the arrival of new fashions makes old fashions easy to see, because they seem so ridiculous by contrast.”

Graham is trying to identify ideas that may be unfashionable now, but which will eventually be accepted as truth. His first question, then, is “Do you have any opinions that you would be reluctant to express in front of a group of your peers?” He acknowledges, “OK, it may be heretical (or whatever modern equivalent), but might it also be true?”

I’ve got a splendid example, with which other Baby Boomers can identify. I kept on reading comic books after the age at which one was supposed to give them up. Not only did I like them, but by college I believed that in the hands of the better writers and artists they were vehicles for serious artistic expression. But the world at large did not agree, and I felt uncomfortable about reading comics in public places, or letting people know I read them.

Graham would sympathize, since he writes that “The most important thing is to be able to think what you want, not to say what you want. . . . . Inside your head, anything is allowed. . . .But, as in a secret society, nothing that happens within the building should be told to outsiders.” So I kept believing in the creative worth of comics, even if I felt I had to keep it to myself. While attending university in New York, I finally got to make friends who were comics pros or comics fans, and they became my “secret society.”

Once my classmates in graduate school and I were attending an end-of-term party at a professor’s house, and my friends decided to embarrass me by revealing my fascination with comics to the professor. Their prank backfired, because the professor turned out to have been a passionate comics fan when he was growing up, started reminiscing about the Sub-Mariner, and told me that as a boy he once owned a copy of Action Comics #1!

In retrospect I see this incident as a sign of things to come. It turned out that the “secret society” was far vaster than I imagined. The result is that now, in the 21st century, suddenly we’ve passed the tipping point, and people stopped keeping their appreciation of comics to themselves. For most of my life the conventional wisdom was that comics were junk for kids, and it was a “heresy” that comics could be taken seriously as art. Time is proving the “heresy” right.

Moreover, comics and their creators are following a path that other artforms and their creators have trod in the past. In the April, 2007 issue of Harper’s Magazine, British Shakespeare scholar Jonathan Bate writes an essay “The Mirror of Life.” He begins by relating that “. . .in the spring of 1616, [Francis] Beaumont and Shakespeare died within a few weeks of each other. Beaumont became the first dramatist to be honored with burial in the national shrine of Westminster Abbey. . . .Shakespeare was laid to rest in the provincial obscurity of his native Stratford-on-Avon. That same year , Ben Jonson became the first English dramatist to publish a collected edition of his own plays written for the public stage. He was much mocked for his presumption in doing so, especially under the title of Works, suggestive of an edition of a classical author such as Virgil or Horace” (Harper’s, April 2007, p. 37).

Here Bate reinforces two of the points I’ve been making here. First, he shows that at the time of their deaths, Beaumont, who often collaborated with John Fletcher, was considered a superior playwright to Shakespeare. But, of course, there is no Royal Beaumont and Fletcher Company nowadays; indeed, today only people who studied English Renaissance drama at university, like Mr. Bate and myself, have any idea who Beaumont and Fletcher were. “We now think of Shakespeare as a unique genius, the embodiment of the very idea of artistic genius,” Bate continues, “but in his own time, though widely admired, he was but one of as constellation of theatrical stars. How is it, then, that when we reach the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, Shakespeare’s fame has outstripped that of all his peers?” (p. 37). Bate’s essay shows that as the centuries passed, Shakespeare’s work proved to transcend passing fashions. Although Shakespeare addressed the issues of his own time, his plays dealt with themes and personalities which remain vital and relevant to each succeeding generation. Once again, time proves to be the test of artistic merit.

Second, it continues to astonish me that in the early 17th century Ben Jonson was “much mocked for his presumption” in publishing a collection of his plays, thus treating them as works of literature like the ancient classics. Plays were popular culture, and it was a “heresy” at that time to think of them as high art. Hence it would have been as much a “heresy” in the early 1600s to consider Shakespeare’s plays to be art as it was in the late 1900s to declare that comics were an artform.

Here’s yet another example: recently I went to New York’s City Center to see the “Encores!” revival of Face the Music, a 1932 musical with songs by Irving Berlin and a book by Moss Hart. But Face the Music had not been performed for nearly seventy-five years, in part because neither a full copy of the score nor a definitive version of the book existed. Playwright David Ives explains in the program book that this show “bespeaks an era when there were 90 Broadway theaters, all hopping, and shows went up and down like billboards in Paramus. . . .When shows closed, books got tossed and musicians left their scores in the pit.” In other words, the pop culture of the time was taken for granted, and, Ives continues, “What this means is that nobody thought about preserving Face the Music for posterity.” But time has proved Hart and Berlin to be major figures of the history of the American theater, and so “Encores!” undertook a major research to reconstruct a performing edition of this “lost” show.

Bate asserts that it was the passionate advocacy of Shakespeare’s works by subsequent writers and actors, like John Milton and David Garrick, that caused his reputation to climb with the succeeding centuries. Bate also points out that the publication of the “folio” editions of Shakespeare’s plays further extended his influence by making his work more accessible.

How does this relate to the world of comics? For one thing, the 21st century has brought explosive growth in reprint editions of classic works of the past. Now, rather than poring through back issue bins and sending a fortune, a newcomer to comics can easily, inexpensively acquire copies of the classic work of the past, including Marshall Rogers’ Batman and Dave Cockrum’s X-Men. It would have been “heretical” to carry comic books in public libraries only a decade ago, but now you can even read these classics for free in a well-stocked graphic novel section of a neighborhood library. This will bring about a major change in the comics readership. Older work and its creators will be less likely to fall into obscurity; readers will be able to judge contemporary comics in the context of the medium’s classics.

Further, I believe it is the duty of a critic to separate the wheat from the ephemeral chaff, to identify work of lasting artistic value and praise its creators, whether it–and they–are popular today or not. Graham declares that, “To see fashion in your own time, though, requires a conscious effort. Without time to give you distance, you have to create distance yourself. Instead of being part of the mob, stand as far away from it as you can and watch what it’s doing. And pay especially close attention whenever an idea is being suppressed.” Or when a major creator is undeservedly ignored.

So what if much of today’s audience–and today’s comics editors and publishers–don’t sufficiently appreciate the work of Dave Cockrum and Marshall Rogers? My considered opinion is that Cockrum’s and Rogers’ work will be rediscovered by the comics scholars and connoisseurs of the future, and that they will be remembered and their work appreciated long after the taste of many of today’s “flavors of the month” have faded away. Time will tell.

Another way to examine the careers of Cockrum and Rogers is to consider how much they changed the field in which they chose to work. As I wrote last week, according to inker Terry Austin, the powers at DC Comics originally castigated Rogers’ artwork until he made his enormous impact with fandom on his mid-1970s Batman stories with Englehart. Around that same time, according to DC president Paul Levitz on a panel at the New York Comic-Con, Cockrum, serving his muse, was putting far more creative effort into his artwork than various veteran artists. On the same panel Cockrum’s X-Men collaborator Chris Claremont pointed out that before Cockrum, superhero artists did not pay attention to costuming characters in such a way as to express their individual personalities. To use Graham’s term, Rogers and Cockrum were innovators whose “heresies” eventually won recognition and acclaim from both the critics and the audience of the superhero genre.

In fact, their impact has extended beyond comics onto television and film: Cockrum’s co-creations Colossus, Nightcrawler, Storm, and Mystique have all appeared in the X-Men movies and animated TV series, and Rogers’ 1970s collaboration with Steve Englehart on Batman paved the way for the serious treatment of the character in the 1990s animated TV series and the live action Batman films from 1980 onward. I was amazed and gratified to see that Time magazine not only gave Rogers an obituary, but ran a considerable sampling of his Batman artwork.

Cockrum and Rogers thus each had visible impact on American popular culture. I was thinking of them recently while watching three animated films, which share a common theme: how a creative figure, whose efforts at first meet with disdain and rejection, can ultimately change the world.

Warner Home Video has just released on DVD director George Miller’s computer-animated Happy Feet, which won the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature earlier this year. Someone at Warner Home Video had the inspired idea of including a classic Warner Brothers cartoon on a similar theme as a special feature on the DVD. This is the 1936 hand-drawn animated short I Love to Singa, directed by the great Tex Avery (see “Comics in Context” #100-101), with Chuck Jones credited as one of its animators.

Long, long ago in the dim, dark days before home video, film reviewer and animation historian Leonard Maltin, aided and abetted by future “Cartoon Brew”-master Jerry Beck, used to teach a course on animation at the New School in Greenwich Village. Though nominally a course, there were no examinations or term papers. Basically, people such as myself and a number of my friends would pay a reasonable fee to attend eight weekly sessions in which Maltin would show us classic Hollywood cartoons, many of which we could not otherwise see, or at least not until Greg Ford’s “Cartoonal Knowledge” festival came around again in the summer at the Thalia (the legendary revival theater on the Upper West Side). Actually, Maltin’s most popular session each semester was “Sex, Violence and Racism” night, in which he’d show cartoons that still don’t make it onto official home videos (such as Bob Clampett’s infamous 1943 Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs). Maltin served less as an academic than as a well-informed master of ceremonies, introducing and giving the background for each of the well-chosen animated gems on the evening’s program. (Then one semester the course was abruptly canceled at the last minute; Maltin had abandoned us for the siren song of Hollywood to appear regularly on Entertainment Tonight.)

Anyway, I recall that Maltin was bewildered by his audience’s–uh, I mean, students’–fervent love for I Love to Singa, a cartoon that he didn’t consider to be particularly special. But I believe I understand the reasons for it, and it’s interesting that this cartoon still produces such a strong response, since it is so heavily indebted to the fashions of its own time.

First, I Love to Singa is a parody of Warner Brothers’ first “talkie,” the groundbreaking 1927 film The Jazz Singer, starring Al Jolson. The young owl who is the cartoon’s protagonist is even named “Owl Jolson.” Made nine years before, The Jazz Singer would still be remembered by adult audiences of 1936; this is even evidence that Warners–or at least Avery–was aiming cartoons at adult viewers as well as children. Jolson was still popular at the time, and it turns out that the song “I Love to Singa,” around which the cartoon was created, was written by Harold Arlen and E. Y. “Yip” Harburg (the composer and lyricist for MGM’s The Wizard of Oz!), for Jolson and others to perform in a live action movie of that same year, The Singing Kid.

In The Jazz Singer the protagonist Jakie is the son of a cantor at a Manhattan synagogue. When thirteen-year-old Jakie starts singing jazz songs in public, his father is enraged, saying, “I’ll teach him better than to debase the voice God gave him!” Jakie’s mother protests, “But Papa–our boy, he does not think like we do.” Papa is not convinced and actually beats Jakie, who leaves home, and grows up to become a professional jazz singer, now known as Jack, played by Jolson.

Avery’s I Love to Singa omits explicit references to The Jazz Singer‘s central characters’ ethnicity, although the European accent that voice actor Billy Bletcher gave Papa Owl may be a hint. But notice how that quotation from the father in Jazz Singer relates to Graham’s reference to new ideas as “heresies.” The father in Jazz Singer fairly clearly condemns Jakie’s enthusiasm for this newfangled jazz music as sinful, in defiance of God’s will. The mother, on the other hand, seems to realize that Jakie’s “heretical” thinking is merely a result of his belonging to a different generation, that “does not think like we do.”

I Love to Singa doesn’t use the religious analogy, and doesn’t emphasize the generation gap either. In the opening of the cartoon Papa and Mama Owl’s eggs hatch, and the first three young owls emerge singing or playing classical music, of which Papa, a music teacher, approves. The fourth egg hatches to produce our hero, Owl Jolson, who launches into the title song. Infuriated, denouncing his son as a “jazz singer” (just as the father does in the Jolson movie), Papa Owl throws young Owl out of his home.

Since the other three young owls all share Papa’s taste in music, the cartoon isn’t necessarily pointing to a generational difference as the problem. Instead, Owl is presented as the advocate and practitioner of a kind of music that is new, untraditional, and even innovative in this time period. And at the start of the cartoon this makes him a solitary outcast.

Then Owl enters an amateur talent competition on a radio show presided over by host and judge “Jack Bunny,” a rabbit. Here again Avery is satirizing popular culture of that particular time. “Jack Bunny’s” name is an obvious reference to radio comedian Jack Benny, whom the Warners animation seemed to love (as most clearly demonstrated by the real Benny’s appearance in Robert McKimson’s 1959 cartoon The Mouse That Jack Built). But the amateur competition, this rabbit’s sour demeanor, and his rapid dismissal of blatantly incompetent contestants all suggest Avery is really parodying Major Bowes’ Amateur Hour, which is referenced in the title song’s lyrics, and was a Depression-era counterpart to today’s American Idol.

Young Owl performs on the show and is an instant sensation. Hence, this cartoon is also about the difference between high culture, represented by Papa Owl and his classical music-playing offspring, and popular culture, represented by the jazz singing Owl. Young Owl is the creative artist whose new style of work is considered “heretical” by the cultural establishment, and who seems isolated at first, but who eventually finds a wide audience among the general public.

Walt Disney addressed the same topic in his “Silly Symphony” cartoon Music Land (see “Comics in Context” #136), which had come out the year before Avery’s cartoon. But Music Land , I Love to Singa, and The Jazz Singer each resolve the conflict between the old and the new differently.

At the climax of The Jazz Singer, Jack has to decide between starring in a Broadway musical on opening night, or substituting as cantor for his dying father. Despite being warned that if he skips opening night, his career in show business will be ruined, Jack becomes the substitute cantor. The film’s coda reveals that Jack became a successful “jazz singer” anyway. But The Jazz Singer ultimately is a variation on the tale of the Prodigal Son, and in the moment of crisis he chooses the old over the new.

Music Land takes Romeo and Juliet as its basis, instead, and gives it a happy ending. The literal war between the rival kingdoms of music is resolved through the marriage of the prince of jazz to the princess of classical music. High culture and pop culture thus coexist peaceably as equals.

In I Love to Singa Papa Owl and the rest of the family hear young Owl singing on the radio and rush to Jack Bunny’s studio. Upon seeing them, Owl unhappily shifts into a dreary rendition of “Drink to Me Only with Thine Eyes,” but Papa Owl and the family encourage him to continue singing his jazz tune instead. Now it seems that Papa’s change of heart came about not because he suddenly learned to appreciate jazz, but because his son is on the verge of winning a trophy, presumably representing fame and fortune. Owl goes back to singing “I Love to Singa,” Mr. Bunny presents him with the winner’s trophy, and the cartoon ends with the entire Owl family singing and even dancing along with the prize-winning son.

In other words, I Love To Singa concludes with complete victory for Owl Jolson, the lone, pioneering creative artist who has remade his world: he was once an outcast, but by the cartoon’s end, everyone is literally dancing to his tune.

The topical references in the cartoon–to Al Jolson, The Jazz Singer, Jack Benny, and Major Bowes, and Papa’s mention of violinist Jascha Heifitz–have all dated, and it is questionable how much they mean, if anything, to contemporary audiences. But the thematic heart of this cartoon enables it to transcend its own time, and to appeal to audiences who were born long after it was made.

Happy Feet likewise centers on a clash between two schools of art, with a lone innovator who is initially shunned by the cultural establishment. I’m lucky that I saw the 2005 documentary March of the Penguins first, since Happy Feet based its fantastical story on actual facts about the habits of Emperor penguins. For example, in real life penguins recognize each other by each bird’s distinctively individual cry. Happy Feet turns this into the notion that each penguin, chick or adult, has his or her own “heartsong,” which expresses his or her personality. So each penguin is effectively a creative artist, devising a song which is his or her means of self-expression.

The movie’s protagonist Mumble, however, is a dreadful singer, and expresses himself instead through tap dancing. Mumble has invented dancing (as far as his community is concerned), and the rest of the Emperor penguins, including his own father, Memphis, are horrified and repulsed by it. Their religious leader, a penguin called Noah, condemns Mumble’s dancing as sinful. This may well be a reference to the 1984 movie Footloose, with its minister villain who condemned dancing, but it also echoes The Jazz Singer and ties in to Graham’s comparison of the unpopular, innovative idea to heresy. (I find it interesting that the reviews I’ve read of Happy Feet all miss the fact that every religious opinion expressed by the penguins in the film is obviously false: a penguin enclosure at a zoo is nor “penguin heaven,” the oracle Lovelace is an impostor, and so forth. Is this the first animated family film that presets religion as a delusion?)

Perhaps even worse, Mumble’s father and the penguin community attribute Mumble’s dancing to the fact that Memphis dropped Mumble’s egg before it hatched. Hence, the penguin community regard Mumble’s new art form, dancing, as the result of alleged brain damage! Creative artists with new ideas may be called crazy, but the penguins go further, thinking of Mumble as effectively retarded!

And so Mumble becomes the artist as outcast. But over the course of the movie he gains more acceptance, first from a band of Adelie penguins, a different species, who speak with Latino accents. This put me in mind of Disney’s Dumbo (1941), about another shunned misfit, who is considered a freak, the title character, a baby elephant with enormous ears: his talent for flying is encouraged by a group of crows with African-American voices. In both cases, members of a different ethnic community are portrayed as more open to new ideas than the establishment of the protagonist’s own community. In Dumbo‘s case the crows clearly respond through sympathy with a fellow outcast. On the other hand, Happy Feet never makes clear why the Adelie penguins, “The Amigos,” whose species has its own community, don’t share the Emperor’s apparently innate revulsion towards Mumble’s dancing. Later in the film younger penguins, of Mumble’s own generation, start admiring his dancing, while Noah and the elders still condemn it. So why did the younger penguins, who hadn’t liked the dancing earlier in the film, change their minds?

By the end of the film (and at this point I issue a spoiler warning for those who haven’t seen it), dancing has become necessary for the penguins’ survival. The movie establishes that the penguins are suffering from a shortage of food, caused by fishing by humans. Investigating, Mumble is captured and placed on exhibit at a zoo, where he won the interest and hearts of humans through his tap dancing. Released back into the Antarctic wild, Mumble induces the whole Emperor penguin community to dance in front of what they consider the “alien” invaders–human scientists. The world of humans is so impressed by the penguins’ dancing, which presumably indicates they aren’t just dumb birds, that the United Nations takes steps to ensure their survival.

The internal logic of Happy Feet‘s story has sizable holes. In any animated film with talking animals, we have to accept the notion that animals have human-level intelligence and their own language, which we moviegoers hear as English even if the humans in the film can’t understand it. (A scene in the zoo makes clear that humans can’t understand the penguin language, and hear it only as squawking.) Until the end of Happy Feet most of the penguins have never seen human beings; there are a few who have encountered them and consider humans to be aliens from another world. So if the penguins are supposed to be ignorant of human society, why do the moviemakers give them such famous songs to sing, even “Heartbreak Hotel” and “My Way”? Not only is Mumble’s father voiced by Hugh Jackman as an Elvis Presley soundalike, but he’s named Memphis, as if the penguins, isolated in Antarctica, would have known about either Memphis, Tennessee or Memphis, Egypt! All of this is asking for a lot more suspension of disbelief than I’m used to giving.

As for the movie’s climax, why is dancing necessary to save the penguins? Even if the humans can’t understand penguin language, if they heard them singing, couldn’t the humans tell that they were making music? And wouldn’t the humans recognize the melodies of, say, the songs by Prince that the filmmakers give the penguins?

But, once again, the main thrust of the movie’s story is the innovative creative artist’s journey from lone outcast to widely recognized success, remaking the culture in the process. Owl Jolson set his entire family dancing to his tune at the end of I Love to Singa and became a success on local radio. Mumble goes much further, getting his entire community to dance along with him, playing to a worldwide audience, and altering the history of his community for the better. Mumble is the artist as savior, literally bringing a new lease on life to his culture. His “heretical” art supplants his culture’s old religion.

Happy Feet encountered considerable controversy since it employed “motion capture” technology, comparable to that used in The Polar Express (see “Comics in Context” #66) and the new King Kong (See “Comics in Context” #121) with live human dancers in creating the penguins’ dance movements. I don’t have the expertise to judge how much of the characters’ movements in Happy Feet may have been taken directly from motion capture and how much were the result of conventional computer animation. But penguins aren’t built like people, so I should think that animators had to do considerable modification of the motion capture data to make it look right for penguins.

Now that I’ve finally seen Happy Feet, it’s not surprising to me that it won the Academy Award, considering the joyousness of its musical sequences, the sheer visual spectacle of its Antarctic landscapes, and a theme that Hollywood, filled with creative artists who went there seeking success, would identify with. By the same logic, they would be less likely to identify with Pixar’s Cars (see “Comics in Context” #137-138), which was about getting out of the rat race (or auto race) to success, and learning to value life’s other virtues. But I still think that Cars was a more profound and affecting movie, and should have won.

The latest Disney animated feature, Meet the Robinsons, has a young protagonist whose talents lies in science and invention, not in singing or dancing. Yet it too follows the same basic theme as I Love to Singa and Happy Feet, as we shall see next week.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR SOMEONE ELSE

Instead of plugging myself this week, I wish to turn readers’ attention to one of my fellow Quick Stop columnists’ latest episode of The Fred Hembeck Show. Discover how Fred, the herald of SpongeBob SquarePants was finally rewarded for his faith by a phone call from Tom Kenny, the mortal incarnation–and voice–of the Absorbent One!

Here’s a real life equivalent of the same pattern followed by Owl Jolson and Mumble. Fred was far ahead of many of us in preaching the virtues of SpongeBob, and now, as he points out in his column, the rest of the world has caught up with him!

I also want to compliment Fred on the brand new cartoons he has been doing lately for his Quick Stop column. And there are only two weeks to go until The Fred Hembeck Show hits its hundredth anniversary!

Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

QSE News: 4/16/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:48 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThe man that gave the world the smash hit “Tiny Bubbles” has passed away. Singer Don Ho died from heart failure. QSE News would only like to say the following about this tragic event – Haladelekamakah was the thing to say, when Don Ho died on Saturday.
  • Actor Shia LaBeouf has been cast in the next installment of the successful Indiana Jones films. Although his participation has been confirmed, it is not yet known what role he will be playing. Insiders speculate the LaBeouf will play some whiney, smart-alecky, aloof kid that hangs around Indiana Jones the whole move and occasionally screams for help.
  • In other casting news, actress Christina Ricci has joined the cast of the upcoming film adaptation of the cartoon Speed Racer.  Hot off her role in Black Snake Moan, Ricci will be playing the role of “the car” and many Ricci fans are excited to see Speed climb on board and drive her hard, fast and with little regard for it… we mean her, safety.
  • In one final bit of casting news, Edward Norton will be replacing Eric Bana in the role of Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk.  Producers hope that Norton will bring a bit of credibility to a movie about a “big green guy that talks like a retard and smashes stuff for an hour and a half.”

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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April 15, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/16/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:59 pm

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Go support Team Venture, why don’tcha? (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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Contest: Win Venture Bros. Season 2 from Warner Home Video!

Filed under: Contests — widge @ 10:15 pm


In conjunction with Warner Home Video, we’re giving 3 lucky winners their very own copy of THE VENTURE BROS.: SEASON 2 on DVD. Featuring all 13 episodes plus commentaries, deleted scenes, and an exclusive tour of the mysterious AstroBase, it’s a fanboy’s dream.


Good luck, and Go Team Venture!

Enter the contest!
Email:
First name:
Last name:
Street Address:
Address Line 2 (if needed):
City:
State/Province/Whatever:
Zip Code/Postal Code:
Country:
Birth Month:
Birth Day:
Birth Year:

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Monday, April 30th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after announcement of win to receive the product.

April 13, 2007

Scrubs Blog: My Long Goodbye

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:43 am

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VIDEO BLOG #82: “My Long Goodbye” ““
We say a fond farewell to Nurse Roberts (and the actress behind her, Aloma Wright) with some behind-the-scenes footage from her swan song episode, “My Long Goodbye”.

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Download Scrubs Video Blog #82:

 

Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 71.69 MB)
Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 31.16 MB)

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Trailer Park: Just Spit It Out

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 2:43 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

I still can’t get over Danny Glover’s mumble-mouthed performance in THE SHOOTER.

I mean, really, didn’t anyone feel like the Miracle Ear lady when they leaned over to their significant other in asking, “What the hell did he just say?” It really did seem like Danny poured a whole Val-U pack of rainbow Skittles into his mouth just prior to shooting any scene he was in.

And no one is saying, or reporting, on what has to be the worst case of annunciation ever captured on screen; for all I know, SHOOTER was actually some kind of training film for those afflicted with fricative or glottal issues in their throat. From the near spittle that was just yearning to be let loose on the faces Danny was aimed at to the saliva you were just hoping he would swallow, like he was keeping it in his mouth for as long as he could as a bet, there is no denying that this linguistic problem came and went without so much as a peep from anyone else.

It’s also not like I have an issue with those who have to try a little harder with getting their words out properly and clearly. I still am a big fan of Ed Begley Jr’s work as Stan Sitwell on Arrested Development and who would argue with the tonal delight in listening to Wallace Shawn in THE PRINCESS BRIDE as he debates a debate, or as his turn as a goofy dinosaur in TOY STORY, but, really, when you have to compare Sergeant Murtaugh to that chick wearing braces in 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN right before she goes down on Steve Carell there’s a problem.

Someone should have waited until Glover was finished with his Invisalign treatment. I really appreciated Marky Mark’s turn as G.I. Joe action hero like everyone else but, really, if I can have one wish for the DVD it would be for Danny’s lines to be accompanied with subtitles.

SUNSHINE (2007)

Director: Danny Boyle
Cast:
Rose Byrne, Cliff Curtis, Chris Evans, Troy Garity, Cillian Murphy, Hiroyuki Sanada, Benedict Wong, Michelle Yeoh
Release: September 14, 2007
Synopsis:
Fifty years from now, the sun is dying, and mankind is dying with it. Our last hope: a spaceship and a crew of eight men and women. They carry a device which will breathe new life into the star. But deep into their voyage, out of radio contact with Earth, their mission is starting to unravel. There is an accident, a fatal mistake, and a distress beacon from a spaceship that disappeared seven years earlier. Soon the crew is fighting not only for their lives, but their sanity.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. You just cannot go awry when you use that signature Clint Mansell ditty.

I wasn’t so sure of what to expect out of Cillian Murphy when I saw his deflated member, the junk just exposed to the elements like an abandoned outhouse, in 28 DAYS LATER but the kid displayed the kind of range you need in a zombie movie, a skill that did not go unnoticed to Christopher Nolan who thought he would be perfect as the Scarecrow in BATMAN BEGINS. The guy is a silent killer on the screen. Even Chris Evans, who could have easily vaporized in the ether of teenage fare, a la Freddie Prinze Jr., but who is battling against his type; it’s impressive. Even I wasn’t that impressed with his early work but if there was one thing you could take away from THE FANTASTIC FOUR was how well he played off what he was given. That’s what’s so bold about the choice in minimizing everyone’s presence in this trailer.

It’s not so much odd as it is a pleasant change from what should have been the obvious way to market this movie right out of the gate. I assume as we get closer we will see a return to form, we’ll get more exposition and a more focused demographic pitch, but this is a curious example of what can be possible when you lean on the soundtrack to help out what’s on the screen.

We get a static shot of the sun, this orb of burning yellow gas the only thing we have to focus on, and, behind this, Cillian’s voiceover that just lays out everything about this movie. Everything. He states his name, how many people are going to help reignite the sun (with no regard to explaining to you how this all came to be), what his mission is and all the while we watch ourselves get closer and closer to the sun. There’s something innately intimate in all of this.

The spaceship they’re riding in is spectacularly rendered against the sun’s majestic presence on the screen. I can’t speak for anyone else but it seems imposing, claustrophobic almost, when you’re given some silence to soak in the premise of what these people are about to do.

And that’s when the music kicks in.

Boyle’s credit for helming TRAINSPOTTING and 28 DAYS LATER is well warranted here and it’s diminutive font and script isn’t imposing or pushy.

Flash to the crew who are plotting their course along with some strange stop-motion, bullet time, clips that tease just enough without being too confusing. Again, the sun’s largess is visually communicated very well to the point that when shit goes south, it’s ability to the one of the most heinous villains without so much as having a personality is what stays with you. Boyle had to create absolute destruction but also had to make the experience relevant to those of us watching it. When paint is bubbling, people are drowning, when fireballs are shooting off, and Clint’s score is reaching its zenith, you can’t help but be completely stoked in at least being curious to know what the hell is happening to these people. Yeah, and the person slamming their body against what looks like an airlock, Evans crying like a puss and the people sliding down a vertical cube?

Absolutely Riveting. And not one word spoken in between Cillian’s voice over.

RATATOUILLE (2007)

Director: Brad Bird, Jan Pinkava
Release: June 29, 2007
Synopsis: In the new animated-adventure, RATATOUILLE, a rat named Remy dreams of becoming a great French chef despite his family’s wishes and the obvious problem of being a rat in a decidedly rodent-phobic profession. When fate places Remy in the sewers of Paris, he finds himself ideally situated beneath a restaurant made famous by his culinary hero, Auguste Gusteau. Despite the apparent dangers of being an unlikely – and certainly unwanted – visitor in the kitchen of a fine French restaurant, Remy’s passion for cooking soon sets into motion a hilarious and exciting rat race that turns the culinary world of Paris upside down.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. Anyone who puts CARS in their top three Pixar films of all time is either a liar or works as the Attorney General for President Bush. Take your pick.

The movie suffered from not only some pacing problems but the content itself was a little divergent, I would posit, from what kids could grasp onto and infuse with their own experiences. TOY STORY, MONSTERS INC., THE INCREDIBLES, all of these kid-relatable, garnered so much market share because it really embraced a wide spectrum. CARS not only boosted their look from an old cartoon that ran decades ago but the story wasn’t as kid friendly as Pixar’s other forays into animation. And that’s why HAPPY FEET sadly thrashed its ass at the Academy Awards.

With RATATOUILLE, though, I am a little torn because there are some of the same kind of non-kid elements that may have some resonance with adults but, as the trailer opens, when you have Parisian accordions playing, the Eiffel Tower clearly on display, and some wag wheeling out the cheese cart, and explaining various varieties of fromage, I’m not sure you’re hooking the kids who need to show up in order to make this a mega hit.

It’s damn near a third of the way into this thing before you get some of the slapstickiness kids gravitate toward like teen boys do to boobs. A third of the way is simply unacceptable if anyone at Pixar with half a working knowledge of children’s attention spans is behind this trailer.

But, for argument’s sake, let’s assume that this was someone’s grand design. That the first third is for adults and that the other two are really the ones that are going to hook the kids; everyone loves Tom and Jerry, right? And who the hell wouldn’t mind seeing Mickey get his in a restaurant?

Well, it really doesn’t get better.

You get the rat trying to steal away with the cheese and then we transition to a freeze-frame. Patton Oswalt announces his position as the titular rodent and when we come out of the moment we’re in the sewer getting a feel for what seems to be the pitch that greenlit this production.

Apart from the stark realization that we’re not being whisked to a different place in our collective mind’s eyes, it feels like an extended sidekick edition of King of Queens, I can’t say where the brilliance is or what’s the big fucking deal. First of all, Patton doesn’t fit. I like his work as a comedian but it’s jarring to witness. Secondly, you’ve got a rat talking about eating food. There’s no hook to be seen, no obvious angle that has been taken. Thirdly, when you look at this trailer you can’t help but feel an impending sense that if you are of the belief that there are no more original ideas in the world this just cements the idea.

There is one good thing, though, that comes out of the trailer that I feel deserves a mention:

Patton’s brother, friend, acquaintance, whoever, and gets a moment to talk. The bit about being able to suppress one’s gag reflex if you’re eating garbage and that a whole new world of food possibilities opens up as a result? Funny. About the only thing that was in this preview.

NEXT (2007)

Director: Lee Tamahori
Cast:
Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, Jessica Biel, Thomas Kretschmann, Tory Kittles, Peter Falk
Release: April 27, 2007
Synopsis: Las Vegas showroom magician Cris Johnson has a secret which is a gift and a curse which torments him: he can see a few minutes into the future. Sick of the examinations he underwent as a child and the interest of the government and medical establishment in his power, he lies low under an assumed name in Vegas, performing cheap tricks and living off small-time gambling “winnings.” But when a terrorist group threatens to detonate a nuclear device in Los Angeles, government agent Callie Ferris must use all her wiles to capture Cris and convince him to help her stop the cataclysm.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. This is just bad; there isn’t any other way to describe it, I do apologize.

If I could put it another way it’s like seeing someone try their hardest in the Special Olympics knowing full well that no matter how much effort they’re putting into running the 50 meter dash in less than five minutes there just isn’t anything in their biological potential that could take on a true athlete”¦or a 3rd grader.

Nic Cage is that Special Olympian.

He so much wants to be an action star but that bean pole frame of his and that hairline, which is threatening to recede like an Ethiopian lake to the back of his skull, is going to prevent him from being perceived as an action hero. I could be slightly remiss in dismissing the man’s competency, and the opening sequences, cribbing from CLOCKWORK ORANGE and the nuclear “˜asplosion sequence from T-2, kind of give me the inflated hope that will quickly be popped like a pinpricked, swollen testicle sack.

Julianne Moore slides in to ask what evil portent Nic is able to see, I guess he has some ability to foresee the future, whoa, but Nic musters his best Action Hero ® voice in saying some bullshit about, “Blah, blah, blah, you can’t stop my hotness, blah, blah, blah.” I don’t know, you don’t know, no one does, about what’s happening in these first few moments. It’s disjointed.

In what has to be the most unoriginal plot in the history of fast-paced thrillers we’re treated to a long, lame, lackluster and limp sequence in which we’re explained to, again, like we’re 2nd graders on a field trip to the Hostess factory to see how bread is made, that Nic is able to see into the future but, gasp!, he can manipulate the present.

Fast forward to a rather uninspired directorial moment between Nic and his newest hotness, Jessica Biel, wherein we hear, again, about the man’s powers to portend what’s on the horizon around him only, shed a tear, he can’t see the future with his lady friend. I guess this is where we’re supposed to feel sorry for him but, oddly, I don’t. In fact, my attention is drawn to the dude in the wheelchair, in one flashback, or flash-forward, who suddenly explodes into a million pieces with the bomb squad on hand to witness it.

From here we get some transition to tell us that this movie is being written by the same guy who penned MINORITY REPORT; from the look of things I would say that he wrote this while his skull was attached to a paint shaker because I can’t see anything that would tell me this was the same person.

We also get Nic playing the part of Multiple Man from X-3 and this is just an excuse, really, to say that you all need to look at that hairpiece he’s rockin’ because it is a few strands away from being a full-on mullet.

Ooo! You need to pay attention to when a sniper takes a shot at Nic and he ends up dodging the bullet and when he artfully gets on a knee to prevent himself from getting crushed by a car. You would have thought he went to the Keanu Reeves MATRIX School for Proper Bullet and Shrapnel Avoidance. It’s close to being the funniest thing I’ve seen yet this year.

This movie looks bad from any angle. And even I don’t need to pull a Ms. Cleo to look into the future to see what’s on the horizon for this film.

28 WEEKS LATER (2007)

Director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
Cast: Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Harold Perrineau, Catherine McCormack, Imogen Poots, Idris Elba, Mackintosh Muggleton
Release: May 11, 2007
Synopsis: Six months after the rage virus has annihilated the British Isles, the US Army declares that the war against infection has been won, and that the reconstruction of the country can begin. In the first wave of returning refugees, a family is reunited — but one of them unwittingly carries a terrible secret. The virus is not yet dead, and this time, it is more dangerous than ever.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. One of my very first writing gigs was for William Rainey Harper College.

It was a school newspaper and there wasn’t much I could do in the way of major features but I did have the chance to interview horror extraordinaire and lecturer David J. Skal about some of the ways horror films have evolved. One insight he had about the 50’s and 60’s is that the advent of the big headed alien in many genre pictures were really a function and a response to the ever increasing amount of information that people were experiencing; the physical reflected the zeitgeist. You can see these tropes playing themselves out especially well in George Romero’s work DAWN OF THE DEAD, the physicality of the indoor mall representing a larger theme of Americana and where consumerism was heading or it’s updated simulacrum DAWN OF THE DEAD where the zombies have a quickened pace. The latter really had people’s panties in a twist and I would argue that the notion of the fast moving zombie is really a reflection of how quick and instantaneous things have gotten over the past couple decades.

This is why 28 WEEKS LATER looks to rock your face off until it drips off the bone.

Now that we’ve got this argument out of the way the rest should be easy to swallow and why this trailer builds up so smoothly and satisfyingly.

The music’s perfect, no question; it’s tense, you can’t help but to feel uneasy as it plays out. The wide scenes evoke an uneasy peace even as you see trainloads of people pouring back into the city that was the basis for Cillian Murphy’s dong-bearing hell hole. The sniper’s view doesn’t help much but it’s wonderfully played for what it’s worth. The absence of Voiceover Guy is what keeps this from heading into awfulness.

A factoid that one of the re-populators, Andy, is the youngest settler seems odd if wasn’t revealed on purpose. The shot of burning bodies, the wholesale sterilization of people in HAZMAT outfits and the jiggling camera works real well here for reasons that other trailers that do this fail to evoke anything: you know something wicked this way comes.

The chunky guitar playing in the background, evoking something on the scale of a Nine Inch Nails instrumental, as Robert Carlyle, the toughest midget this side of Tom Cruise, is an excellent choice as a father who is dealing with taking care of his son in a wasteland of death, just sets up what’s coming like a coach putting a leather orb on a tee-ball stand for a 300lb home run hitter.

“Execute Code Red”

Now, I’m a fan of 1985’s RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, huge fan, and I appreciate the idea of its ending where modernity met zombie eradication: nuke “˜em. Here, though, it looks like things are going to get wicked violent with para-military folks going up against fast moving targets with zero prejudice.

The air horn going off, the music working its way into a crescendo, the pandemonium of a group of people who know exactly what’s coming, their immanent demise, and a nameless guy who puts out the order to “kill everyone.” Pandemonium reigns supreme and there is hardly any dependence on showing the zombies in any kind of glory; it’s all about the victims and it’s damn effective.

The napalm-like strike through the city, Carlyle running as fast as he can in what appears to be a greener than green meadow, and would be quite peaceful if he wasn’t being chased by violent corpses bent on chewing his flesh,

I’m already there and ready.

Weekend Shopping Guide 4/13/07: Whither Booster Gold?

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:29 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

As if being the premiere comics nostalgia emporium weren’t enough, Twomorrows has to go and get me all melancholy by publishing a beautiful tribute to a character that has been recently sacrificed upon the altar of sadistic corporate idiocy, in the form of their comprehensive Blue Beetle Companion (Twomorrows, $16.95 SRP). Like Twomorrows’ other companion editions, this 125-page trade features a complete history and overview of the Beetle, going all the way back to his 1939 introduction and his 6+ decade evolution. I miss Ted Kord, and his loveable “BWAHAHA…”

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Another of those “why aren’t they on DVD?” series, The Untouchables (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP) has finally arrived, allowing us to enjoy the pre-Unsolved Mysteries adventures of Robert Stack as Capone-fighting G-man Elliot Ness. This 4-disc first volume features the initial 14 episodes of the series’ 28-episode first season. Even better, if contains the feature film that was created foe the unofficial pilot that aired as part of the Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse, The Scarface Mob.

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It’s a book like Elk’s Run (Villard, $19.95 SRP) that restores my faith in independent comic books. Originally published by a small distributor who went under before its 10-issue run finished, author Joshua Hale Fialkov and artists Noel Tuazon & Scott Keating have crafted a tense, nuanced bit of post-9/11 noir, about a small community with a lot of big secrets, whose tension-filled idyll is suddenly blown to pieces after an accident sets off a chain of events that tears the town – and families – apart. I’d go into more detail, but I’m really hoping that you pick up a copy in its mass-market form – which collects the entire run, with supplemental material – and experience it for yourself. It’s highly recommended.

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Though available in the UK for the past 6 months, US fans can finally get at least three of the Monty Python remasters of their classic albums. This initial batch features Matching Tie & Handkerchief, Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album, and Monty Python and The Holy Grail (Arista/Sony Legacy, $11.98 SRP each). Each disc has a clutch of bonus rarities, including demos, interviews, ads, alternate versions, and previously unreleased material. Bring on the rest!

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The darling of 50’s rom-coms gets a second set from the fine folks at Warner Home Video. The Doris Day Collection: Volume 2 (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP) contains 6 of those aforementioned Day pics, including Romance On The High Seas, My Dream Is Yours, I’ll See You In My Dreams, On Moonlight Bay, By The Light Of The Silvery Moon, and Lucky Me. As usual (and greatly appreciated), each flick is complemented by some wonderful bonus features, such as vintage cartoons, musical and comedy shorts, and trailers.

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Billed as “Lost Episodes”, the 16 adventures features in Scooby-Doo Where Are You?: The Complete Third Season (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) were originally aired as part of the rarely seen Scooby’s All Stars series. You can now experience those lost episodes, and be sure you watch the bonus featurette on the Hanna-Barbera Studio.

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Long before veterans Sipowicz or Murtaugh were saddled with loose cannon young bucks, veteran detective Lt. Mike Stone (Karl Malden) was partnered with brash inspector Steve Keller (Michael Douglas) in The Streets Of San Francisco (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). Volume 1 features the first 16 episodes of the first season, plus the pilot presentation and an Army Archerd interview with Malden & Douglas.

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With a title like How William Shatner Changed The World (Allumination, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), how can you not be in the least bit intrigued by the documentary – presented by the great one himself – that explores all of the scientific exploration and technology inspired by the concepts and gadgets featured in the original Star Trek? You know you wanna watch it.

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For those who either missed or couldn’t afford the massive, career-spanning box set that came out year-before-last, The Band: The Best Of – A Musical History (Capitol, $18.98 SRP) offers a condensed, 19-track overview featuring hits and rarities that offer more than enough of a teaser to make you want the full set.

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For the first time in his career, I felt Will Smith actually *acted* – rather than just being a permutation of Will Smith – as single father, American dreamer, and ultimately American success story Chris Gardner in The Pursuit of Happyness (Sony, Rated PG-13, DVD-$28.95 SRP). The real surprise, though, was the performance from Smith’s son Jaden as Gardner’s son Christopher – if he keeps an ego in check as he gets older, he could be one to follow. Bonus features include an audio commentary with director Gabriele Muccino, behind-the-scenes featurettes, an interview with the real Chris Gardner, and the “I Can” song.

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Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks, but most will get a kick out of the completely unexpected but thoroughly welcome Sly and The Family Stone collection (Sony Legacy, $69.98 SRP), containing all 7 of their classic albums, completely remastered and packed with bonus tracks. And so on and so on and scooby-doobie doobie… ooo, cha cha.

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Tim Burton is currently filming his take on the demon barber of Fleet Street, but you should definitely check out Ray Winstone as Sweeney Todd (Acorn, Not Rated, DVD-$24.99 SRP) in a very nice straight version of the tale of those devilish meat pies. The DVD features additional footage not seen in the broadcast, a background essay, and cast filmographies.

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Even if I were just judging it on its appealing design sensibility, and not its equally fun storytelling, Nickelodeon’s Avatar: The Last Airbender would be worth checking out. Give it a spin and see if you agree, with the second volume of the show’s second season, Book 2: Earth (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP). Bonus materials include audio commentary from the creators and cast on the 5 episodes featured in this volume.

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It’s raining 70’s catalogue comedies from Fox, who’ve opened the vaults with Cybil Shepherd in A Guide For The Married Woman (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), Malcolm McDowell & Oliver Reed in Royal Flash (Fox, Rated PG, DVD-$14.98 SRP), Paul Dooley in Robert Altman’s A Perfect Couple (Fox, Rated PG, DVD-$19.98 SRP), and Elliott Gould and Donald Sutherland reteaming for both S*P*Y*S (Fox, Rated PG, DVD-$19.98 SRP) and Little Murders (Fox, Rated PG, DVD-$14.98 SRP).

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Back before Mel Gibson was publicly revealed to be… well… just a tad bit batshit crazy, I could still enjoy an explosively good time ode to the 70’s-era action flicks that was Payback (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP). Gibson stars as Porter, a just-out-of-the-joint guy who’s eager to eke out a bit of revenge upon those ho left him dead and stole his money in the process. This new “Straight Up” director’s cut edition adds about 15 minutes of footage, and features an audio commentary with writer/director Brian Helgeland, location featurettes, an interview with author Donald E. Westlake, and a featurette on the creation of the new cut.

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If Road House got a deluxe special edition, it should be little surprise that another 80’s mess gets the gilded treatment. Such is the case with Sean Penn and Madonna’s Shanghai Surprise (Lionsgate, Rated PG-13, DVD-$19.98 SRP) – the point at which we all realized that Who’s That Girl was a fluke. This gussied up edition features remastered picture and sound, a fan commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and a even a fan appreciation featurette.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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QSE News: 4/13/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:27 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgDanny Bonaduce’s wife has filed for divorce. Gretchen and Danny Bonaduce have been separated since April 9. The only statement Gretchen Bonaduce released stated “at some point, we all have to come to the realization The Partridge Family was a crappy show, no matter how hard you want it to be good.”
  • American author Kurt Vonnegut has passed away at the age of 84. Vonnegut, who wrote several classic books, such as Slaughterhouse-Five and Cat’s Cradle, had spent the last several weeks in the hospital as a result of a fall. It’s unclear whether or not the Tralfamadorians were involved with Vonnegut’s death.
  • The Don Imus radio show has been cancelled by CBS in the wake of racial and sexist remarks made by Imus in regards to the Rutgers women’s basketball team. Within minutes of Imus’s release from CBS, Fox News offered him a new home where he will “be free to continue the great work he’s been doing lately.”

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/13/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:00 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Maura Tierney Can’t Sleep with Dave Foley… (Thingamabob)
  • Just in time for the weekend, get some free love on that freelove freeway… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 12, 2007

Game On! 4-12-2007: Episode Two – Don’t Just Stand There, Bust A Move…

Filed under: Game On!,Quickcasts — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:20 pm

 

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GAME ON! VIDEO PODCAST #2: “Don’t Just Stand There, Bust A Move…” ““
Ian Bonds proves he’s the dork everyone knows he is by getting his groove on with DDR UNIVERSE, getting his rock on with GUITAR HERO II for Xbox 360, as well as reviewing BULLET WITCH, and interviews Pete Hines about OBLIVION on PS3 and its SHIVERING ISLES expansion for Xbox 360.

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Download Game On! Video Podcast #2:
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Music For The Masses: Podcast 4/12/07

Filed under: Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 9:51 am

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Hello again, my friends, and welcome back to another podcast edition of Music for the Masses. This week on the podcast, we wax poetic on American Idol judge Randy Jackson’s sexual proclivities, delve into misogyny, establish why Peter Pan is green, give some props to Hilary Swank’s ex and discuss, at length, how we’d all like to wear Avril Lavigne’s ass like a hat. Of course, I know that not all of you have high-speed internet connections and/or you happen to live in Canada, so for “you people,” I’ve designed the “short tour” of the actual new releases discussed this week. Here you go, eh”¦

avril

Avril without all that crap on her face”¦in case you didn’t think she was “really hot.”

[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast, much like its written counterpart, features harsh language and even harsher notions of Randy Jackson’s nocturnal activities. Although absolutely hilarious in nature, listener discretion is advised because you might hear the words “cock” or “fuck” instead of just reading them like you usually do. I’m just saying”¦

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Music For The Masses: Episode 5 (MP3 format) ““ 32.27 MB

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Arctic Monkeys

Album: Favourite Worst Nightmare

Sounds like: They took their last album, cut its balls off, slapped a dress on it and made it call itself an “ugly girl.”

Overall Rating:

hung3 m4m-4-7

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Nine Inch Nails

Album: Year Zero

Sounds like: Trent Reznor is able to find his “happy place” a lot easier now that he’s not shooting junk into his junk.

Overall Rating:

hung4 m4m-4-7

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Avril Lavigne

Album: The Best Damn Thing

Sounds like: My new, internal masturbatory soundtrack”¦ dirty, dirty.

Overall Rating: Not Really Rated”¦ we just wanted to talk about all the sexually nasty shit we’d like to do to Avril because”¦ umm, she’s really really hot”¦and we’re really really lonely.

Well, there you have it folks”¦ another one bites the dust. Until next week. . .keep wearing it proud and playing it loud!

Send your “pooping stories,” review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR |


The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 98 – SpongeBob Hembeck

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:56 am

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Friends, the following story clearly demonstrates the miracle of the internet. Exactly HOW, I’ll explain later, but first to the particulars…

It was about a week and a half ago. My daughter was on spring break and her good pal Courtney was over. We were having dinner – lentil burgers, a vegan delight (trust me…) – when the phone rang. Julie, assuming it was another one her buddies, went to answer it.

No one was on the other line. She put the phone back in the receiver and sat down.

The phone rang again. Again, no one on the opposite end.

Just in case, she brought the cordless phone back to the table with her, and sure enough: “briiing” (or however today’s new-fangled phones sound). I was in the process of assembling my second delicious lentil burger – lettuce, tomato, red onion, relish, catsup, AND pickle on the side – when she unexpectedly handed the phone off to me.

For ME? Really? Well, it had to be somebody selling something – it always is during the dinner hour.

“Hello, is this Fred?…”

“Yes?..”

“Hi Fred – this is Tom Kenny!”

Omighod – SPONGEBOB!!

(Trust me – I just THOUGHT that. I didn’t actually blurt it out loud. Honest.)

“And – ” another voiced interjected, “Andy Paley.”

Good gosh – the musical guru who produced the SpongeBob SquarePants CD, The Best Day Ever (as well as Brian Wilson’s unreleased masterpiece, Sweet Insanity, amongst many other impressive credits on his extensive resume) was on the line as well! Lentil burger be damned – it’s surely not everyday a call like this comes into the Hembeck household!

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(Those of you who follow these weekly ramblings may recall that, back last fall, Quick Stop’s Ken Plume alerted me to the very real possibility of such a call coming in – reread episode 81 of “The Fred Hembeck Show” to refresh your memory – but all these months later, the truth is, I was still caught off guard…)

I quickly got up from the table, and wandered about the house as I spoke with this pair of genial gents. They apologetically pointed out that they’d been meaning to make this call since way back in 2004 – not long after I posted my enthusiastic reaction to their contributions to the soundtrack for The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie soundtrack CD, tunes that would later form the backbone of the aforementioned Best Day Ever release – and with apparently nothing more pressing on their agendas this particular Monday afternoon (as it was only mid-day out in sunny California), today was my lucky day!

Well gang, I did my level best to sound casual, engaging the duo in pleasantly breezy small talk, all the while attempting to stifle the ongoing realization that I was speaking with not only my all-time favorite cartoon character, but also the guy who made the genius Beach Boy sound like even more of a genius! Not an easy task, granted, but I tried…

What did we talk about? Well, first off, they clued me into some live gigs they played as SpongeBob and the High Seas at several comics cons – as well as on the late night Craig Ferguson program – and asked when I was coming out to San Diego. Regretfully, not anytime soon, as I confessed that I really, really don’t dig flying, but I helpfully suggested they pack up their gear and play next year’s big NYC con! THAT I’d surely go see!

Both of these fellas turned out to be extremely friendly, down-to-earth guys, and any celebrity-shock I may’ve initially felt wore off almost immediately. Tom spoke of his voice work on Stan Lee’s short-lived Stripperella series as being a big personal thrill – and then proceeded to do the best Stan impression this side of Jim Salicrup, which he topped off by demonstrably pointing out The Man’s vocal similarities with comedian Gilbert Gottfried!

“Thanks, guys – ” I deadpanned, “now you’ve gone and ruined Stan Lee for me!!”

(They’re not wrong, though – next time you spin your M.M.M.S. flexi-disc, it’s gonna be mighty tough to banish Gilbert’s distinctive pan from your mind’s eye, I guarantee it…)

While Tom was the more talkative of the two – hey, that’s his job – I didn’t want Andy to fell overlooked, so I made a point of praising his work on the Sweet Insanity bootleg I own.

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“Bootlegs are illegal, you know” he sternfully reminded me, but inasmuch as the copyright cops haven’t yet come banging on my door in the intervening days, I’m sure he was just kidding me with his indignation. Well, pretty sure anyway…

Our chat went on like this for about ten minutes, but as I sensed our time waning, I felt I HAD to make a potentially unreasonable request:

“Tom, would you talk to my daughter, using, you know, THE voice?…”

I’m sure he must get this sort of thing constantly – and I tried to resist the urge to ask, really I did – but how could I possibly let an opportunity like this pass? Much to my relief, Tom was only happy enough to comply, so I walked into Julie’s room (dinner had been finished without me), told her someone wanted to speak with her, and handed her the phone.

Now, the truth is, she knew who was on the other line – Lynn figured it out when she heard me say “Hi Tom!” – and maybe it would’ve been even better back in 2004 when she was a mere lass of 13, but still, the look on Julie’s face when SpongeBob began to serenade her with a short accapella version of “The Best Day Ever” was absolutely priceless! The confused smile playing across her face intimated that she found the experience genuinely amusing, with a small but significant side order of creepy! Tom soon dropped the vocal facade, and chatted amiably with her for several more minutes. Julie eventually handed the phone back to me, but I gotta tell ya – I got almost as big a kick out of watching her talk to Tom Kenny as I did from actually speaking with him myself! Almost…

Knowing the clock was ticking, when Tom suggested we exchange contact information, I threw caution entirely to the wind.

“Tom, um, couldja give it to me in your SpongeBob voice?” (which I’d yet to hear).

Good sport that he is, Tom began to rattle off numbers in that lovable upper-register squeak of his, and I was somehow managing to keep it together – that is, until he came to the word “hyphen”! How could one NOT burst out laughing upon hearing SpongeBob’s precise pronunciation of such a word? Even Tom knew those six little letters were comedic gold, and commented that “hyphen” was a pitch perfect Jerry Lewis word! Which reminded him of the great lost SpongeBob SquarePants episode, the one written specifically for the comedy legend, casting Mr. Lewis as an even dimmer relative of our star – can’t you just imagine the hilarity? Well, you’re gonna have to – the folks holding the wildly popular property’s purse strings were reluctant to meet Jer’s (according to Tom) not-unreasonable asking price for his efforts. Tom and Jerry’s teaming, it seems, just wasn’t in the cards (or in the budget, sadly…). A tremendous shame, we three all agreed.

Well, time to say goodbye. Didn’t want to overstay my welcome. Had a wonderful time. Hung up. Put the phone back in its cradle. Sat down.

Wow.

The miracle of the internet strikes again!

How? Follow me here – I’ll try and make it brief:

1999: My nine year daughter turns me on to a brand new Nicktoon, one I immediately fall in love with!

2004: By now, the rest of the world has caught up with me, and a big-screen film featuring the underwater cast is released, along with an accompanying soundtrack CD. I write glowingly about both on my nearly two year old blog.

2005: Mark Evanier tips me off that Tom Kenny had read my comments, and was impressed that I “got” what he and producer Andy Paley were attempting with their pair of tunes!

2006: Ken Plume runs an interview on the Quick Stop site with Tom that spends an inordinate amount of space on yours truly, the amateur music critic, with a personal phone call threatened!

2007: SPONGEBOB TALKS TO ME ON THE PHONE!!

Without the internet, these chain of events would very likely never have occurred. So what else can I do but say, “Thank you Al Gore! –

BEST CALL EVER!!”…

Hembeck.com urges you to go out and buy the SpongeBob and The High Seas CD, The Best Day Ever, if you haven’t already – it’s quite good! Honest.

-Copyright 2007 Fred Hembeck

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