
Hola, mi amigos!! Que pasa¿! Me? Why I’m happier than Reverend Ted Haggard with a mouthful of male prostitute. Seriously. And just like Rev. Haggard, I feel it safe to warn you that I’m about to come. . .to a realization that I have an addiction. No, not to cock. . .not that there’s anything wrong with that. You see, it’s just that I gave that up after leaving the Sig Eps (yeah, “brothers,” I got your “Elephant Walk” right here) and during the last couple of weeks, I’ve come to the realization that I absolutely LOVE. . .umm, political attack ads. I’m shooting straight with you here, people. With all of those half-baked accusations, exaggerations and out-right lies. . .shit, those commercials are like little, verbal, 30-second, no-holds-barred UFC cage matches. Light on substance, heavy on the slams. Or, for you EXTRA!! fans out there. . .30-second, commercial equivalents of Paul McCartney’s and “Hop-a-Long” Heather Mills’ divorce. Televised crack, I tell ya’!

Wait a minute. . .after looking at this picture, I, too, now have one, “wooden leg.” Yes. . .I’m going to hell. If you laughed at that, I’ll save you a seat.
I love these little bits of nasty sooo much, I want to see more of “˜em. In fact, I want to see them so much, (and because I already miss them), I’ve actually decided to put Double A’s position as a “Rap Reviewer” up for vote just so you fine folks (oh, all right. . .myself included) can see a couple more of these attack ads. That’s right, Double A. . .guess you shouldn’t have made fun of my Afghan blanket collection. My Nanna knitted those, you fucker. Mmm hmmm. . .a pink, yellow and blue “binky” ain’t so funny now, is it?

So anyway, as I was saying, the position of Rap Reviewer here at Music for the Masses is now, officially, up for grabs. That’s right, friends, I’m leaving the decision up to you. Here are your candidates. . .in one corner, weighing in at a bouncy 360 lbs., you have the incumbent, the man who finds the “rap” in “crap”, Double-“Wide” A. In the other corner. . .the challenger, weighing in at a meaty 98 lbs. and hailing from the “un-official” home of rap, Council Bluffs, IA; a candidate hand-picked by yours truly after I spotted him buying a 50 Cent CD at a local Tower “Gowing Out of Business Sale,” dressed in baggy, skater shorts, an Allen Iverson jersey and an all-white, NY Yankees hat with a straight brim. . .the “Crusher”. . .Jimmy “Hat” Rathmore. What do you say? Let’s get to know our candidates. How you ask? Why, the same way you most likely got to know YOUR local, political candidates. . .through good, old-fashioned, attack ads. Up first, Jimmy Rathmore. . .
FADE IN TO PICTURE OF A PARADE IN PROGRESS

VOICE OVER (ISAAC HAYES): “Double A wants to rain on yo’ parade.”
CUT TO PICTURE OF WHEATIESâ„¢

VOICE OVER (ISAAC HAYES): “Double A wants to shit in yo’ Wheatiesâ„¢”
CUT TO PICTURE OF A BIRTHDAY CAKE

VOICE OVER (ISAAC HAYES): “Double A wants to take away yo’ Birf’day. . .
CUT TO A PICTURE OF A PUPPY AS SCREEN TURNS RED

VOICE OVER (ISAAC HAYES): “Double A likes to kick puppies.”
FADE TO A PICTURE OF JIMMY AND HOLD
FADE IN MUSIC: “GANGSTA’S PARADISE”
VOICE OVER (ISAAC HAYES): “But NOT Jimmy Rathmore. . .he ain’t frontin’, playa’, like Double A. Double A don’t know shit about rap and you know what else? His momma’s a ho’. That’s right, Double A’s momma is such a ho’, they made her the dock in Dick Town. But not Jimmy’s. His momma is a real sweet piece o’ ass. In fact, I’m gonna hit that right after I finish readin’ his commercial here. Mmm hmm. . .Where was I? Oh yeah. . .Jimmy’s the real deal. He owns all 48 of Tu-Pac’s discs, you know, the ones released after his death? Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. 3 of his shirts are RocaWear®, his Adidas® are old school and he’s just workin’ at McDonald’s® until he can save up enough money to buy those turn-tables. Oh yeah. . .and his bling? Pure sterling silver, baby. That’s how Jimmy rolls. One more thing, children, unlike that punk-ass bitch Double A, Jimmy’s all about education. He’ll teach your kids how to flash a gang sign, hold a spray paint can when taggin’ and how to draw a sweet-ass pair of scissors. . .
FADE IN PICTURE

Fo’ keepin’ it bizzy up in the hizzy, the choice is clear. Tell Double A you don’t want none of that and vote Jimmy “Hat.”
CUT TO PICTURE OF JIMMY

VOICE OVER (JIMMY RATHMORE): “I’m Jimmy “Hat” Rathmore and I approved this message, bitch.”
And now, Double A’s ad. . .
FADE IN TO A SERENE IMAGE OF A MAJESTIC MOUNTAIN

VOICE OVER (JAMES EARL JONES): In this climate of insecurity, it is nice to know that some things will never change. The sky will always be blue, Rosie O’Donnell will never be funny and Double A will continue to stand up for the little guys. Music for the Masses needs a consistent voice, one that has been down in the trenches, buying the shit that you shouldn’t. James Rathmore says that he knows rap. That he’s a “fan” of rap.
FADE TO BLACK
VOICE OVER (JAMES EARL JONES): Jimmy Rathmore says he knows rap?
CUT TO PICTURE OF MC HAMMER

VOICE OVER (JAMES EARL JONES): Fact! Rathmore owns all 6 of MC Hammer’s albums, including the rare, un-released album “Oh Hell, I’m Broke.” He also has the entire album “To the Extreme” by Vanilla Ice. . .memorized.
CUT TO PICTURE OF LOTION
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VOICE OVER (JAMES EARL JONES): Fact! Rathmore thinks that N.W.A. stands for “Now With Aloe,” just like his favorite brand of lotion. Lotion that he uses to masturbate with because he’s too much of a punk bitch to get a girlfriend.
CUT TO PICTURE OF PUPPIES TINTED RED

VOICE OVER (JAMES EARL JONES): Fact! While Double A has kicked his fair share of puppies in the past, at least he has never thought about having sex with one. Rathmore has. A lot.
CUT TO VIDEO OF THE FLAG WAVING IN THE WIND

VOICE OVER (JAMES EARL JONES): If you elect James Rathmore to write your rap reviews, all you will ever get are reviews of the latest Eminem mixtape that he made for his friend “Smokey.” Also, if you elect Rathmore, he will come have sex with your dog. Double A wont. You can count on it.
CUT TO PICTURE OF DOUBLE A

VOICE OVER (DOUBLE A): What it is, bitches? This is Double A and I approved this ad.
There you have it, folks. Now, it’s up to you so. . .ROCK THE VOTE!!!! Just drop me an email, at the link below, and help support democracy by casting your vote for your favorite candidate.
But enough about all of that. It’s time now to check out some new music. In this edition of Music for the Masses, we take a look at the new one from the Who, Endless Wire, the music of Warren Miller’s new movie, Off the Grid, and we provide another chance for you aspiring artists out there to “Pimp Your Band.” Should be fun. So, what do you say? Let’s get to it, shall we??!!
| Artist: The Who Album:Endless Wire Bastard Love Child of: The Who when all 4 members were alive and The Who now where only 2 of them are. Best for: Realizing how much I miss John Entwhislte. |
You know, I’m only half joking when I tell you that I fully expect to tune in to Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” some night and see Chris Hansen asking Pete Townsend “So tell me, Pete. . .what are you doing here? What were you planning on doing with this 13-year old girl?” And, if this ever happens, I fully expect Pete to answer “I wanted to teach her how to work me whammy bar.” Then he’ll make a break for the front door and get tackled in the lawn by a couple of D.C.’s “fattest and finest.”

For those of you scratching your head out there going “WTF, M.C.?” because you’re not “in the know,” a few years back, Townsend was charged with having kiddie-porn, “worm-burpin'” material on his personal computer. No. . .I’m not making that up. Granted, these charges were later dropped, but that shit sticks with you and I’ll be damned if every fucking (yes, fucking) time I hear the Who’s “Pinball Wizard,” I don’t change the lyrics to. . .”Ever since I was a young boy, I liked to play with balls. From Soho down to Brighton, I must have played them all.” And good lord, I haven’t even told you about one of the lyrics on this new disc. But we’ll get to that in a minute.

Now, regardless of the validity of Townsend’s sexual appetites, I consider myself a pretty big fan of the Who’s music and I was really looking forward to getting my hands on this new one, Endless Wire. Their first disc of new material since 1982’s It’s Hard? Easy money, my friends. Easy money. Of course, as many of you know, with great anticipation can come great disappointment and after listening to this disc, I’m disappointed. Allow me to explain. If you are a hard core fan of the Who, you are going to love this album, even if it is, more or less, a glorified Pete Townsend solo disc along the lines of 1993’s Pyschoderelict, simply because it is a new disc. The fact that Daltry adds his gracefully aging voice to the proceedings makes it easier to swallow as a “Who disc,” but let’s not kid ourselves. This is not the same Who, deaths aside, that created enough quality material to prompt Syrius Satelite to give them their own channel and this is not the album that we’ve been waiting for. It’s not complete shit, and, again, it IS new Who for crying out loud, but this is Pete. . .pushing the envelope and experimenting. . .again. To paraphrase Michael’s line from The Godfather II, “You broke my heart, Pete. . .you broke my heart. Hey. . .wanna go fishing?”
And that brings us to the “casual” Who fan. They’re going to absolutely hate this disc. Know why? Because they’re going to grab this disc wanting to hear something familiar from this iconic band and aside from a tricked-up nod to the opening of “Baba O’Riley,” they ain’t gonna get it. What they ARE going to get is a hook-less song about religion, “Man in the Purple Dress,” a disjointed mini-opera (“Wire & Glass”) that is more unevenly spaced than the eyes of a Special Olympian and, due to the kiddie-porn allegations, one of the creepiest lyrical lines you’ll ever here. . .”Why can’t they see that life excites me/This boy ignites me” (“Trilby’s Piano”). *SHUDDER* Put it back in your pants, Pete. . .for fuck’s sake.
I’m still holding out hope that, even without Entwhistle, we’ll get another classic Who disc, but sadly, this isn’t it. Unless you are a hard core, and I mean hard core, fan, save your money.
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
WARREN MILLER’S OFF THE GRID
There are a ton of reasons why it’s cool to live in Colorado but chief among them are that all of the women here look exactly like this. . .

. . .on your 21st birthday, the government sends you a giant block of cheese. . .

. . .and, most importantly, you learn to ski at a young age. . .

I realize that for some of you out there, skiing is that thing that Sonny Bono was doing just prior to head-butting that tree, but for me and a shit-load of others here in Colorado, it’s a religion. . .sans all the alter boy “mouth hugging” and “butt-fiddling.” And if skiing is the religion, then without a doubt, Warren Miller is our favorite preacher. “Why’s that?” you ask. Well, you see, Warren Miller has been preaching the gospel of skiing and cranking out amazing ski films for the past 57 years and for those same 57 years, the faithful have gathered, just prior to the start of the ski season, to watch Warren’s latest opus and to get psyched up for hitting the slopes. For some, it’s the best part of the whole season and for good reason.
You see, aside from all of the amazing and breath-taking shots of people launching off of all kinds of crazy shit, Warren’s films feature, arguably, some of the coolest music you’ve never heard. Okay, maybe you’ve heard a couple of the tracks and some of the artists, but seriously, the guy has a knack for finding some obscure talent. And I mean, obscure. In fact, I couldn’t find squat on one of the main artists featured in Warren’s new film, Off The Grid, Boots Wallace. Too bad. . .good shit, Boots. But, that’s exactly why were here today. I realize that if you’re not a skier, your chances of checking out one of these films is slim to none and slim just left town, but there were some artists in this year’s film that are deserving of your attention. Some you’ve heard of, like Gomez and Imogen Heap, but others you more than likely have not. I highly recommend checking out the actual films, but, at the very least, check these tunes out and help out some under-appreciated artists. Who knows, maybe you’ll find some new favorites like I did with Big City Rock, Zero 7 and Gomez.
In no particular order:
-Sweatshop Union’s “Baho Ang Titi Mo,” “Union Dues” and “Garbage Love Scenes/Cheesy Jingles” (www.myspace.com/sweatshopunion7)
-Scratch Track’s “Come One Come All” (www.myspace.com/scratchtrack)
-Tomorrow and Everyday After’s “Grudge” (www.teaarmy.com)
-Living Things’ “Bom Bom Bom” (www.myspace.com/livingthings)
-Simon Dawes’ “Have a Heart” (www.myspace.com/simondawes)
-Gomez’s “How We Operate” (www.myspace.com/gomez)
-Primal Scream’s “Country Girl” (www.myspace.com/primalscream)
-Wired All Wrong’s “Let Me Go,” “Medicate,” “Elevatin'”and “Fifteen Minutes” (www.myspace.com/wiredallwrong)
-Zero 7’s “The Pageant of the Bizarre” (www.myspace.com/zero7official)
– Bullets And Octane’s “Save Me Sorrow” (www.myspace.com/bulletsandoctane)
-Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek” (www.myspace.com/imogenheap)
-Big City Rock’s “Human” (www.myspace.com/bigcityrock)
“Yippee ki aye, mother fucker!”
BAND OF THE WEEK!!!!
You know? In addition to MySpace being a GREAT place to meet a Dateline reporter. . .

it’s also a great place to check out some new and/or unsigned artists. To honor these individuals and their art, I thought it would be cool to feature a band here each time out, sans any remarks or comments from yours truly. Consider this your place to shine. If you want you or your band featured here, just drop me a line. Up this week. . .
Pepper Sands
Vancouver, BC
www.myspace.com/peppersands or www.peppersands.com
Band Members:
Citizen A: Bass and vocals
Adam: Drums and Percussion
Jay Slye: Guitar and Percussion
Derek MacDonald: Keyboards
Has Toured With: Concrete Blonde, 30 Seconds To Mars, I Mother Earth, Billy Talent, Sleater-Kinney and Swollen Members. . .amongst others.
Sounds Like: “Your wildest, wettest dreams”
CD Available? New Disc Available. . .”Forrest Strays”
Label: Universal Music Canada/Independent
What Others Are Saying: “For a major label debut, Pepper Sands self-titled record shines with the polish of the numerous veteran alternative rock acts that so obviously influence it. Seems like this Vancouver quartet has been carefully listening to most of modern rocks finest from the last decade. Lead-off track, “Win Big Lose More (Cherries Jubilee),” shows you what a Shirley Manson-fronted Foo Fighters would sound like, with its heavy riffs, poppy melodies and singer Citizen As girlie-but-ballsy vocals (think Avril Lavigne’s older sister!). Hints of Brit-pop will warm the hearts of still-grieving Lush fans on “Speak Too Soon,” while the shoe-gaze-y indie pop of “Myth” references everything that was cool about mid-90s alt-darlings, Velocity Girl. You’ve got to like a band that knows how to swap girl/boy vocals with ease and use them oh-so-sweetly when harmonizing. And get ready to dance on the super bop-y “Forever Wonder” that sounds like Neko Case singing lead for One Chord-era Sloan. Nice. Pepper Sands seem to have taken all the best parts of their favorite bands and put together a radio-friendly, catchy debut that surprises you and sticks in your head all day.” — Brian Pascual, Chartattack

Message from the band: Looks are deceiving. And first impressions don’t always hold true. With their spunky black-white-and-red comic book cover art and short, tight, hyperactive tunes, Pepper Sands might give you the impression they’re a modern-day new wave group, updating the carefree magic of the Go-Go’s. The Vancouver quartet certainly come charging out of the gate with plenty of amped-up frustration and good time kicks. But somewhere in the middle of their debut album, the band that has opened for 54-40, Sleater-Kinney and Matthew Good slow down ever so slightly and begin opening up. The staccato pop bursts of “WIN BIG LOSE MORE (cherries jubilee)” or “Speak Too Soon” give way to the moodier introspection of “Myth,” “Touch Apart” and “Make No Mistake.” Singer Citizen A layers her vocals in lush echoes and even shuts down to a whisper. Guitarist Jay Slye rolls off the aggressive opening riffs and begins painting the night sky with ringing tones reminiscent of U2’s the Edge. Atmosphere adds depth and the lined images on the cover transform into full portraits. The acres of lyrics on the album’s insert, taking up literally every panel except the cover, express the views of a band hooked on love and forever trying to figure out a way past the inevitable pain. Except where a less literal band might stick with a few cloying phrases — and drill an obnoxious, overdone hook into your head — Pepper Sands opt to tell the story like an interior monologue where the brain must decide what thoughts to keep and which to discard. The effect is sometimes maddening, sometimes endearing, like that late night radio DJ who has had too much caffeine and proceeds to speak in circles through the endless night. You keep thinking you should turn it off and get your own head straight, but you keep wondering where it’s all going to end up. In Pepper Sands’ case, it adds up to a spirited pop debut that suggests the band is going to get much weirder as time goes on.
Be sure to check them out!!!
Well, folks, that’s going to do it for me and the gang this week, so. . .until next time. . .keep wearing it proud and playing it loud.
Send your votes for a new rap reviewer, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:
M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001






























Be it under a rock or deep in a cave upon the highest peak, you must have been living there if the Spongebob Squarepants phenomenon has passed you by. If you’ve been around any child below the age of 15, they can probably tell you exactly who Bikini Bottom’s most famous animated invertebrate is – and, chances are, there are some hip adults that will also clue you in, being fans themselves (I’m looking at you, Fred Hembeck).
He’s also crafted (with Andy Paley) a toe-tapping album starring Spongebob and friends titled The Best Day Ever – a glorious piece of pop informed by his idols, including the likes of The Beach Boys and The Who (in fact, Brian Wilson is a guest artist on the album).
Howdy folks. Miss me?

editorial positions that made all other papers seem pallid by comparison and which made a mockery of unhip journalists at other publications who were prone to using fakely hip phrases such as “cutting edge.” It was a sad day in January of 1998 when the then new owners of Spy announced that the magazine was shutting down.
Though I could easily pull down and flip through my near complete collection of the magazine, it is still a delight to relive those days thanks to the publication of Spy: The Funny Years (Miramax Books, 304 pages, $39.95, ISBN 1 401 35239 1), a history of the magazine by its early insiders.

Check out the preview to…

If you saw this movie cold like I did, 

But then on October 30, 2006, the Times ran an article by television reporter Bill Carter with the headline “It Doesn’t Take a “˜Comic Book Nerd’ to Create a Superheroes Hit.”






1. Go vote this Tuesday. A lot has been made of the apathy that so plagues this generation and I can’t say I don’t agree with how far down we are as a collective voting body on the list of people who actually give a fuck what happens to us as a nation but, please, for the love of all that’s holy, take some time on the way home from work, Lord knows many of us actually have jobs to tend to, and pull that lever. Or punch some chads or, as we do here in God’s country, Arizona, we’ve got to color in arrows. Yeah, we do, I’m not kidding. Democrat or Republican, show those buttheads who think that the Internet is made of tubes, courtesy of Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), and that Internet service providers deserve to charge you more for access based on a promise that tele-co’s would upgrade slow-ass copper wire with fiber optic lines, and have now since reneged on, that you don’t appreciate the liars that are in there now; you want liars in there of your own choosing.
2. Big ups to my man Rich N. who solicited me for a donation recently.
Director: James D. Stern, Adam Del Deo
Director: Lisa Addario, Joe Syracuse
Director: Irwin Winkler
Director: Zack Snyder
After Shout! Factory’s wonderful treatment of the complete NBC Network 90 run of SCTV, I was disappointed to learn that what was originally intended as a complete release of the first season of the original syndicated run had instead morphed into a Best of the Early Years (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) set featuring 15 episodes from the second and third seasons. I hope that whatever issues prevented complete season releases eventually gets worked out, but until then, it’s nice to have anything from these seasons. The 3-disc set features 4 audio commentaries, a brand new interview with Andrea Martin, a featurette spotlighting the Old Firehall home of Toronto’s Second City, and a vintage news report on the explosive popularity of Bob & Doug McKenzie.
As with any outsize personality whose very name has become a corporate identity, Walt Disney has become more myth than man. Lionized on one hand and demonized on the other, Neal Gabler’s massive Walt Disney: The Triumph of the American Imagination (Knopf, $35.00 SRP) is the even-handed, heavily researched biography that’s sorely been needed. If you want to know about the man and where the myth originated – plus get some long-standing myths refuted – this is the definitive story of the man behind the mouse.
In the lead up to the 2000 election, South Park maestros Trey Parker & Matt Stone announced that they would be doing a Comedy Central sitcom based on whoever wound up winning in November. They developed shows based on both a Gore and a Bush outcome, but when the dust settled, the show we got was That’s My Bush (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$26.99 SRP). It’s depiction of a bumbling rube at the mercy of his advisors would eventually prove to be completely accurate, but the show itself – despite being a hilarious satire of both the administration and old school sitcoms – lasted just 8 episodes. The 2-disc set features the entire run, plus audio commentaries with the cast, Parker, and Stone.
While the magician out front may be performing the tricks, it’s Jonathan Creek (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) who actually designs the tricks. As portrayed by comedian Alan Davies, he’s a shaggy, unassuming guy who toils in the background, a genius unknown by the public… At least until his identity is uncovered by a nosy investigative journalist (Caroline Quentin) who needs his help in solving a murder… And once you have one sleuthing adventure under your belt, why stop there? What follows is one of Britain’s most enjoyable mystery series, with equal parts drama and humor. The complete first series of Jonathan Creek features all 5 adventures, plus exclusive interviews, screen tests, and an audio commentary.
Always on the lookout for a genuinely funny sitcom (which has increasingly become a rarity), I’m understandably a bit wary of any new show that comes down the pike – I’ve been burned far too many times. Everybody Loves Chris (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$50.99 SRP), though, was a pleasant surprise – well-written and an amazing cast, led by young Tyler James Williams as Chris. The series is loosely based on the Bed-Stuy childhood of Chris Rock, when his parents sent him to a largely white school outside of his neighborhood. What sets the series apart from most sitcoms – and in the same class as shows that have come to be called classics – is that its comedy is rooted in reality, and completely identifiable. I just hope it doesn’t rapidly deteriorate into the cartoonish buffoonery that scuttled the once-promising Malcolm in the Middle. For now, the first season of Chris is a gem, and a set well worth checking out. The 4-disc set features all 22 episodes, plus audio commentaries, deleted scenes, featurettes, audition tapes, bloopers, and more.
Like the titular flying mammal, Meat Loaf has returned to the depths to set the monster loose in the third Bat Out Of Hell (Virgin, $18.98 SRP), which features a clutch of new Jim Steinman tunes, along with tracks from Diane Warren, Nikki Six, James Michael, Marti Frederiksen, and Desmond Child. While the tracks are full of the operatic bombast we’ve come to expect from Meat, the songs themselves don’t approach the modern classics found on the original Bat – which is not to denigrate what’s to be found here, but they certainly have quite a legacy to live up to. What is a revelation, though, is Meat’s vocals – in recent years, he’s allowed the theatrics of his singing to get too out of hand, to the point where he’d often sound like a parody of himself. In the new album, however, he’s pulled it back and is singing better than ever. Though he claims he’ll never do another album, I hope this reinvigorated Loaf will reconsider heading back into hell in the near future.
The 6-disc BBC Atlas of the Natural World (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP) is an amazing collection of nature documentaries exploring habitats from North America to the Antarctic. The documentaries featured include Land of the Eagle, Spirits of the Jaguar, Wild South America, and Life in the Freezer. All in all, it’s a spectacular journey around the globe – and it’s got plenty of penguins. Penguins rock.
How do you possibly tackle a documentary about the legendary car customizer and 60’s icon Ed “Big Daddy” Roth? Well, you probably do it as a series of animated tales featuring the voices of people like John Goodman, Brain Wilson, The Smothers Brothers, Matt Groening, Tom Wolfe, and many more. That’s how. Tales of the Rat Fink (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is that film, and it’s packed with bonus features, including a rare interview with Roth, interviews, a deleted scene, and more.
There’s nothing particularly artistic about the episodes featured in the second volume of the late 80’s Super Mario Bros. Super Show (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), but so help me, I can’t help but like the animated Koopa-bashing adventures of those daring plumber-brothers Mario and Luigi (or their live action equivalents, particularly Captain Lou Albano as Mario). This 4-disc set features an additional 24 episodes, plus a fan featurette, a costume gallery, concept art galleries, and four bonus episodes.
While it never achieved the critical acclaim of its siblings Cheers or Frasier, there’s a reason why Wings (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP) ran as long as it did – it was a solid, enjoyable sitcom with a wonderful cast of characters and great actors to realize them. The 4-disc complete third season features all 22 episodes, but not a single bonus feature. Whither Tim Daly?
It has been a long, slow slog to get the complete run released, but the fifth and final volume of Speed Racer (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is finally available, featuring the last 8 episodes of the show. Who wants to bet the complete series set we should have gotten in the first place is just around the corner?
It becomes increasingly difficult to differentiate the various seasons of the various incarnations of procedurals like CSI, but suffice it to say that the fourth season of CSI: Miami (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$64.99 SRP) features the continuing crime-solving adventures of David Caruso’s Horatio Caine and his crackerjack forensics team. The 7-disc set features all 25 episodes, plus audio commentaries on 6 episodes (“From the Grave,” “Prey,” “Felony Flight,” “Urban Hellraisers,” “Shattered,” and “Payback”) and a quartet of behind-the-scenes featurettes.
Although he arguably made funnier films as a solo artist, the films that Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin made together during their white hot rise to superstardom are pleasant enough, as you’ll find if you partake of the 8 flicks collected in the Martin & Lewis Collection: Volume One (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP). Those films include My Friend Irma, My Friend Irma Goes West, That’s My Boy, Sailor Beware, Jumping Jacks, The Stooge, Scared Stiff, and The Caddy. They’re largely excuses for Jerry to pratfall around and Dean to launch into song, but what more did you expect?
The fromage runs as deep as the offshore death trap protected by the lifeguards under the aegis of Lt. Mitch Buchannon (David Hasslehoff), but there’s no doubt that there’s much to guiltily love about the loathsome stories abounding in the first two seasons of Baywatch (First Look, Not Rated, DVD-$34.99 SRP each). These are strictly bare-bones releases – with poor music clearances (not even the theme song!) and some missing episodes due to rights issues – but for so cheap a price, I’m sure many of the show’s fans will still snap them up.
It certainly wasn’t highbrow theological fare, but compared to the new version, the original Omen was a classic. Maybe it’s because this slightly rejiggered Omen (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP) feels far too slick when compared to the atmospheric 70’s take on the little boy antichrist. And I don’t buy Julia Stiles as a mother, either – even if it is the mother of evil incarnate. Bonus features include an audio commentary, extended scenes, and behind-the-scenes featurettes.
If you need a Spongebob fix until the next season set comes out (and you can’t get “Best Day Ever” out of your head), pick up the latest 7-episode collection – Spongebob Squarepants: Whale of a Birthday (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP). There. Now stop jonesin’ already.
It’s not until you see a documentary like The Making Of Miss Saigon (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$24.95 SRP) that you realize just how delicate – and fragile – putting together a successful Broadway show can be. Is the book good? How about the songs? And can you find a lead actress able to pull them off? That was the challenge faced by producer Cameron Mackintosh here, and it took auditions around the world before they finally found star Lea Salonga.
It’s been unavailable for a few years, but the 2-disc special edition of Die Hard (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$26.98 SRP) is back on shelves and a must-have presentation of a great action flick. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, deleted & extended scenes, newscasts, and more.
If it weren’t for the presence of Jennifer Love Hewitt, I probably wouldn’t have given Ghost Whisperer (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$72.99 SRP) another glance, seeing as how bored I am with the entire touchy feely “touched by the paranormal” genre that seems so prevalent these days. But then there’s Love Hewitt, whose enthusiasm for even the thinnest of concepts tends to be infectious, so you could care less about how fuzzy-feeling her whole “I communicate with dead people and convey their messages to the living” schtick is. The 6-disc complete first season features all 22 episodes, plus audio commentaries, deleted scenes, featurettes, and a blooper reel.
The Hitchhiker: Volume 3 (HBO, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) features another 10 dark, terror-filled tales of the decidedly unhappy wanderer whose path you most certainly do not want to cross. Guest stars include Bill Paxton, Kelly Lynch, Michael Madsen, and Lauren Hutton.

Check out the preview to the Image comic Jeff writes…