FRED Entertainment

March 6, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/6/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:06 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • The late, great Moe Howard guesting on the Mike Douglas Show, with Soupy Sales in tow… (Thingamabob)
  • The Hays Code and its effect on cartoons – “Cover those udders, Flossie!”… (Thingamabob)
  • If any of our Japanese readers would like to send a set of these in to us at Quick Stop, we’d be very appreciative… (Thingamabob)
  • Gonzo’s “Jamboree,” from The Muppet Show… Chocolate Cakes! (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 5, 2007

Scrubs Blog: My Creepy Picture Contest

Filed under: Production Blogs,Scrubs Blog — UncaScroogeMcD @ 6:16 pm
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BLOG TRIVIA: “My Creepy Picture Contest” ““
So, you think you’re king of Scrubs trivia? Think you know the show backwards and forwards? Well, this it the contest for you!

We’ve digitally removed the heads from 65 characters in the screen grabs below. Your task is to tell who the characters are, and what episode the screen grab is from.

If that seems a daunting challenge, don’t worry ““ just try and get as many as you can, as we’ll be randomly picking 3 winners from those entries that get the most answers correct.

And what do you win, you ask? Well, the fabulous prize package shall remain a mystery… Who knows, you may even be consulted on what your prize may be! Either way, if you’ve seen what we’ve given away in the past, you know it’s going to be amazing.

To enter, you need to send your answers in numerical order to scrubstrivia@gmail.com. You must use the name of the episodes ““ *no production numbers* – and the answers must be in the body of your e-mail (NO ATTACHMENTS!)…

EXAMPLE:

1. The Todd ““ “My Fake, Made-Up Episode”
2. J.D. ““ “My Really Fake, Still Made-Up Episode”
3. Dr. Kelso ““ “My Exceptionally Fake, Totally Made-Up Episode”


Also, your entry must include your name and mailing address.

There is only one entry per person, and all entries must be submitted no later than 11:59pm on Monday, March 19th. This contest *is* open to overseas fans, as well.

Good luck, and get crackin’!

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SModcast 4

Filed under: SModcast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 7:54 am

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SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 4: Can I Get a (Masturbatory) Witness? –

In which our heroes talk results, regrets, and rejoicements in relation to the Academy Awards, name-drop Scorsese like it’ll get ’em laid, struggle to remember Illeana Douglas’s name, reminisce about celebrity sightings and marvel over the need of the famous to eat, crack on “Krull”, ruminate on the men they’d concede to being rump-wrangled by, reveal the secret origin of Mos’s middle initial, talk mysticism, Indian fakirs and Jesus’s junk, bitch about why “In Search Of”¦” would never work in the age of the internet, discuss Mos’s directorial aspirations, and unmask Kev’s deepest shame (of the week).

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 4 (MP3 format) – 58.47 MB

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SUBSCRIBE
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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #25: Dana Loses

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:12 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #25: Dana Loses – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns, as Ken gloats – and gloats, and gloats, and gloats – about his winning of the Oscar pool, much to Dana’s chagrin. There’s also talk of “The Boston Event,” the Aqua Teen film, going legit, and much more…

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #25 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-25.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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Party Favors: Guinness Record Place-Holder

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:06 am
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NASHVILLE – Amazing how the media has gone nuts about Al Gore’s power bill for his house. Sure it’s 10 times as big as a single family house. But I’m amazed that the media hasn’t gone that extra step in figuring out why Mr. Inconvenient Truth needs to suck that much current off the grid.

Around here, whenever a residence receives an electric bill that’s ten times more than the neighbors, the cops raid the place. Why? Because the “family” has a grow room operation in the basement. They’re privately harvesting marijuana, the devil’s weed, under the hot lights. Those bulbs burn serious wattage. Do you really think those indoor packages are sold for tomato purposes?

Why hasn’t the media (or Fox News) dared to ask the awful truth: How green is Al Gore? Is this the secret to Gore’s ability to swing with the showbiz superstars? How else can you explain why Leo wants to rub elbows with a nearly 60 year old out-of-office politician? Around here, it seems like whenever you find young kids hanging out with old guys, it’s cause they’ve got the best damn drugs in the town. Did Al provide goodie bags for the folks who drove the hybrids to the Kodak Theatre? Was Al responsible for Drew and Cameron’s smoking enjoyment on their recent beach trip? They’re greenies for Gore, right?

How can the Tennessee Center for Policy Research not insinuate the link between high power bills and growing dope with grow lights? It’s like linking large purchases of Sudafed with cooking up meth in a single-wide. Hasn’t Al Gore kept company with Woody Harrelson and Willie Nelson? Why would those two loose guys spend time with a stiffie like Gore? Maybe Al shares an experience with these famous hempheads that’s better than a PowerPoint presentation?

Remember when Al Gore said he invented the internet? How many stoned people have said really goofy things when high? Here’s a couple of classic things Gore has said in the past:

“I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change.”

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”

“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.”

“[It’s] time for the human race to enter the solar system.”

“Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts.”

Doesn’t that sound like someone who has had a couple tokes of the wacky weed? If President Clinton didn’t inhale, who did?

Will Fox News dare to conject that Al Gore’s mansion has all the suspicious qualities of a secret farm for the top cash crop in Tennessee? Why does Gore need all that security around the place? Is it to protect his Ed Begley Jr. autograph and complete Futurama DVD set? Or has Al Gore constructed a fortress of Tony Montana proportions to protect the source of his green empire? There’s enough facts in there to make it sound like the truth.

CATHOUSE FOLLOW UP

During last month’s interview with Dennis Hof, owner of the Bunny Ranch and star of HBO’s Cathouse, Dennis mentioned that his goal was to turn Starbucks into Bunny Ranch Expresses. His vision of the future sits on the shelf of your favorite videostore. Mike Judge’s Idiocracy features America in 500 years, where Starbucks gives out handjobs instead of muffins.

Dennis has been saying this for a while and the DVD of Idiocracy didn’t come out till Jan. 9. The movie made barely a blip theatrically when it was released in the fall. So Dennis wasn’t stealing Judge’s concept. This is a case of the Zeitgeist sweeping America. We all want to get a squeaky from the coffeeshop gal. Did you know that working your tongue around a barrista flesh will give you a caffeine rush? It’s true. Once I had a torrid affair with a coffeeshop girl and discovered that after a tryst, I was not ready to roll over and go to sleep. Her neck alone was the equivalent of a double shot of Espresso. One of my fond memories is how we had sex while watching Anna Nicole Smith on Howard Stern’s old E! show. While folks may say nasty things about Anna, I’ll remember our threesome as a passionate time – even if Anna was only participating via videotape.

SORRY FOR THE TYPO

Nobody wrote to correct me for spelling Darfur as “Dafur.” Thanks for not reading the column, Bill Gates.
MANN MISSES

Speaking of wacky, what exactly was Michael Mann huffing in the editing room when he spliced together his montage of “America As Seen In Movies” for the Oscar ceremony? I can excuse his obsession with the Klu Klux Klan musical number in O Brother, Where Art Thou?, but two of the clips are completely off base. First was Lucy Lui from the final battle of Kill Bill Part 1. The scene supposedly took place in Japan. What exactly does that have to do with America? The second “huh” clip was Timothy Carey talking about bugs in Paths of Glory. This is a film about French troops in World War I and was shot in West Germany. Sure the actors were American, but that wasn’t the point of the montage, Mann.

Why did you accept the assignment when you didn’t do the homework? Thanks for adding time to an already bloated program.

CONGRATULATIONS TO JACKIE EARLE HALEY

While Jackie Earle Haley didn’t win for Best Supporting Actor, he looked like a champion. Even when is name didn’t get called, he stuck around for the rest of the show. Unlike Eddie Murphy who reportedly had to leave early for a meeting over Daddy Daycare 2: Still Poopin’. When Marty finally got his Oscar glory, Jackie got up to give the man a standing ovation. Even during the E! red carpet show, Jackie was a joy to watch. Unlike Angelina Jolie, Jackie didn’t strike the “I’m too superior of a race to talk to you” pose with Ryan Seacrest on E! He gladly gabbed with Ryan and got a kick out of the fact that someone at E! located a clip of him from McGuyver. And Jackie was willing to publicly announce that he watches American Idol at home.

What does Jackie think of this year’s crop? There’s always laughter in my house when Ryan announces that coming up next is Sundance Head. Doesn’t that sound like the title of a film distributed by Strand Releasing?

The nice part is that Jackie saw Alan Arkin get the award and not Eddie Murphy. There seemed to once be a time when Rafferty and the Gold Dust Twins was constantly run on crummy afternoons. It was Beastmaster of the late ’70s. There was Alan stuck inside that car with Sally Kellerman and Mackenzie Phillips. I still can’t remember the plot so much as how they stole gas on their rambling trip.

THE FIX WAS IN?

When Marty’s name was finally called from the stage, he received his trophy from Coppola, Spielberg and Lucas. It was like a reunion of Margot Kidder’s old beach party pals. It was like a Dick Clark award show at that moment. What are the odds that this trio was going to welcome Paul Greengrass or Inarritu up the stairs? The producers of the Oscars needed their big highlight moment for the clip package and they got it.

Now that Marty has won Best Director, he no longer has the cool factor of being “The Greatest Living American Director to Have Never Won the Oscar.” Now he’s just another guy with hardware. Sometimes it’s the act of exclusion that allows your myth to build. Would Shoeless Joe Jackson be as popular a topic if he was forgiven and put inside the Hall of Fame?

The sad thought is that in 10 years, people will immediately watch The Departed thinking it has to be Scorsese’s greatest film. But is it? Is it better than Goodfellas, Raging Bull, Mean Streets or King of Comedy? Of the three Marty-Leo films, it’s the most entertaining. But as far as a major director finally winning, this is on par with Carol Reed winning his Oscar for Oliver!

HE WAS IN THAT, TOO?

Matt Ross is the Robert Pine of his generation. I took notice of Ross when he played Harry Dean Stanton’s creepy son on Big Love. Since the day he went into Salt Lake City to do the Prophet’s business, he keeps popping up in other shows and movies that I’ve watched over the years. He was the lucky dork in Last Days of Disco. He was a guard on Oz. And he was the creepy bisexual executive in American Psycho. Plus he was Leo’s pal in The Aviator. He’s the guy who has the new title of Matt “Wait, he was also in that….” Ross.

What’s the most amazing thing about his career is that he’s yet to appear on any of the Law and Order series. What are the odds that an actor from near New York City could avoid the mean streets of Dick Wolf? He has appeared on CSI: Miami. Maybe someday he’ll reunite with his Oz pals on Law and Order: SVU.

GREEN IS GONE

It was sad enough when Anheuser-Busch bought Rolling Rock and shut down green bottle operations and moved them out of Latrobe, Pennsylvania. But now the Madison Avenue suits have turned the green bottles into some sort of joke beer. What was this crap about men in thongs and a Super Bowl ad? I’m not sure cause I zoned out. And I refuse to click on the banner ads about this muck-vertising.

If Rolling Rock was a child, social services would have taken it away and the Busch family would be on Court TV.

HERE’S A RECORD

There are just too many lame records being broken in the name of the Guinness Book of World Records. Is 40,000 kids brushing their teeth really worth the ink? What about 8,000 people making snow angels? Was any seven year old dreaming of being one of 10,000 people doing the “Macarena” when they flipped through the pages in the elementary school library? These aren’t real records. Fattest twins to ride motorcycles is a record. Guy with longest fingernails is a record. Somebody needs to start telling folks, “It’s nice that folks showed up, but who really gives a crap?” Next time these goofballs want to bust a record, why not attempt the fastest time to eat a bicycle?

MAKE THIS MUSIC

Here are the ten songs I want to hear on American Idol

10. “Stupid Girl” by the Rolling Stones
9. “4’33″” by John Cage
8. “Teenage Enema Nurses In Bondage” by Killer Pussy
7. “Midnight at the Oasis” by Maria Muldaur
6. “Me So Horny” by 2 Live Crew
5. “Mahna Mahna” by the Muppets
4. “Trapped in the Closet” by R. Kelly
3. “Dick in the Dirt” by Sammy Hagar
2, “Ace of Spades” by Motorhead
1. “Pac-Man Fever” by Buckner and Garcia

There’s no guarantee that you’ll win the show, but you’ll capture America’s heart and an opening spot on Weird Al Yankovic’s next tour. How come there isn’t a Weird Al Idol? Imagine America glued to seeing our next novelty musical act discovered?

INVITE STILL OPEN

This is to remind former Steeler coach and new resident of Raleigh, Bill Cowher that my invitation for a night at Hooters is still open. After a night of wings and Yuengling, we’ll go over and egg Clay Aiken’s house.

LEAVING ME COLD

NBC-Universal is launching Chiller TV. While it sounds exciting to have a cable channel devoted to spooking the crap out of you, the schedule has frightened me away. The first few days are pretty much marathons of Alfred Hitchcock Presents (original and 1985 version), Tales from the Crypt, Night Gallery and Twin Peaks. Sure they’ll be also showing the Classic Monster Movies, but those black and white classics don’t come on till after 2 a.m. Wow… that’s so unexciting. I haven’t been this scared since I thought my doily collection was stolen by chipmunks… of the undead!

Why exactly did NBC-Universal kill Trio while developing Chiller and Sleuth? Does it take that much more energy to be creative versus creating Junk Drawer Channels? It is amazing how little you have to do to claim you’re a channel.

While it’s understandable that the dorks at NBC-Universal want to figure out ways to keep their vault active, but must it be this way? In six months, they’ll make an announcement that there will be a channel that will just show old medical shows.

BEST NEWS OF THE WEEK

The folks at Paramount Home Video are looking into releasing a best of Love, American Style boxset. Please let this be real.

ALTER MY DINING ROOM

My wife thinks that Trading Spaces really needs to bring Paige Davis back. The show without her seems like a rough cut. Paige was really able to tie the projects together and get a little bit more personality out of the families. She can’t watch more than 10 minutes of the new autopilot format. She has found a new show for remaking a room.

Sell the House! hostess Tanya Memme has become my new Home Depot Queen. I’d put my estate on the market for the chance to have Tanya paint over my dining room mural featuring the cover of Slayer’s Reign in Blood. My landlord might object to the For Sale sign, but he’ll understand the overwhelming power of a primer sprinkled Tanya. It’s not like I’m going to stop paying him rent after I sell the place. He should think of it as a sub-lease with mineral rights.

My fear is that I’ll end up having to do a pose off with Roger Hazard. My pythons are ready. That guy has a pair of guns makes the guys on ESPN Classic’s World’s Strongest Man look like they’re auditioning for Beauty and the Geek. Did he get that body from adjusting ottomen? By the end of the episode, Roger and I will see who can toss a keg over the swimming pool – lengthwise.

DR. DREW IS EVERYWHERE

How many gigs does Dr. Drew Pinsky do for a living? He does the Loveline on the radio. He does the Today Show in the mornings. He’s pushing a book about the stars. He supposedly runs a rehab center. But here’s my question – if he’s such a great rehab guy, why didn’t he cure Mary-Kate Olsen when he played her dad in New York Minute? Shouldn’t he have helped her stay off the tabloid covers? How does this guy see patients? Does he squeak them in between Access Hollywood and Dateline crews?

I wonder if Dr. Drew’s rehab center can help me kick my addiction to Sudanka – the decaffeinated numbers game. I understand the rehab business. A few years back I started the Joe Corey Rock Bottom Detox Center. It basically consisted of me kicking rich brats into the basement and giving them a bowl of Ramen noodles a day until they were cured or their parents stopped paying. This treatment was ruled barbaric by so called health care professions and Donald Rumsfeld – even after I demonstrated how on Thursdays, I’d toss down a sprinkler hose for bathday.

It’s a shame Britney Spears didn’t visit my treatment center. Remember, young female superstars, that you haven’t really hit rock bottom till you fall out of my bed.

MOP TOP

Why has Jonathan Hunt, the British Shouting Reporter on Fox News, stolen Ted Kopple’s hair? Does anyone at Fox point out that the guy needs to lose the cloth mop look?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Every time an actor appears on My Name Is Earl, do you ponder “I didn’t know they were Scientologists?”

QSE News: 3/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:04 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • The film Wild Hogs was number one at the box office this past weekend. The success of the film has set fears into the hearts of women across the country that their husbands will leave them and become really boring actors in a really boring movie.
  • Matt Damon is in talks to star as Captain James T. Kirk in a new Star Trek film. Producers for the film were excited to get Damon involved, although they had previously offered the job to Richard Simmons, who turned it down.
  • Former Saturday Night Live actor Tim Meadows has been cast in the upcoming TBS comedy The Bill Engvall Show. Meadows will play a doctor on the show while Engvall will play an unfunny and borderline racist comedian. The show is based on Engvall’s real life ““ except for the part about knowing a black person.
  • Singer Kelis was arrested in Miami for disrupting an undercover police sting. Kelis reportedly screamed profanities and racial slurs at two police women disguised as prostitutes. Those close to the investigation say that Kelis was upset that the “hooker’s milkshake” was better than hers.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:24 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Let’s start off Monday with a little bit of Animalympics… (Thingamabob)
  • Have you ever seen Mel Brooks’s 1963 animated short The Critic? Well, you should… (Thingamabob)
  • Snoopy vs. The Red Baron, Christmas-style… (Thingamabob)
  • His idea, her idea, or a mutual decision? You decide… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 3, 2007

Game On! 3-3-2007: Episode One – Wii-Tarded

Filed under: Game On! — UncaScroogeMcD @ 6:29 pm

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GAME ON! VIDEO PODCAST #1: “Wii-Tarded” ““
Ian Bonds brings you the first of (hopefully) many monthly video podcasts for his Game On! column, this week featuring reviews of WII PLAY, TONY HAWK’S DOWNHILL JAM, SUPER SWING GOLF as well as quickshots of LUNAR KNIGHTS and PHOENIX WRIGHT ACE ATTOURNEY: JUSTICE FOR ALL.

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Download Game On! Video Podcast #1:

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March 2, 2007

Comics in Context #167: New York 2007 – Blogs, Bone, and Billy

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 10:43 pm
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cic2007-03-02.jpgIn this age of the Internet, you can find reports on events at major comics conventions within twenty-four hours of when they took place. Certain parties, such as the Beat, like to kid me for still writing about the San Diego Con weeks after it ended. But I like to think of myself as providing a service for those who you who did not, and perhaps could not, attend these major conventions, who want a sense of what it was like to be there, and who want to immerse themselves in detailed reports on panels of lasting interest. If you want to find out what the panelists said at the DC and Marvel panels about next month’s hot superhero titles, you can easily find that elsewhere. And that kind of news has a very limited shelf life. But if, say, you want to know what it was like to see and hear Stan Lee address audiences at this year’s New York Comic-Con, you will find it in my column’s reports. And this is a topic that people will still find interesting weeks, months, and years from now.

Checking around the Net for reports on the New York Comic-Con, I found many reports on Stephen King’s appearance promoting Marvel’s comics adaptation of his novel series, The Dark Tower. (Last year, when I reported on King’s appearance at Radio City Music Hall [in “Comics in Context” #148], some of you might have wondered what connection he has to comics. Now you know.) But I also discovered that other panels I attended, despite the importance of their subjects, received little or no coverage. So you are going to find information in my New York Comic-Con reports that you will have seen nowhere else. (But yes, I went to the King panel, too.)

Scheduling a major comics convention in New York for February is playing with fire, or, more precisely, snow. After a startlingly mild January, in which the temperature reached 72 degrees on “Twelfth Night,” January 6, the two weeks preceding this year’s New York Comic-Con (which was held from Friday, February 23 through Sunday, February 25) brought frigid temperatures and a major snowstorm. Another snowstorm struck the night of February 25, hours after the convention ended, although it did not prove to be as heavy as had been predicted. Through sheer luck, the convention took place during a stretch of sunny and relatively milder weather. Except when an occasional gust blew, the long walk from Penn Station to the Jacob Javits Convention Center did not feel like moving through an Arctic wind tunnel, as it did last year.

But if the con continued to be held in February, sooner or later it would coincide with a Northeast blizzard. Next year, the New York Comic-Con moves to April 18 through 20, thereby escaping the threat of this meteorological Sword of Damocles.

So, yes, the cold was bearable this year, as long as you didn’t have to spend too much time out in it. But on Saturday and Sunday mornings I arrived at the Javits Center to find a long, long line of attendees who stood outside, exposed to winds off the nearby Hudson River. Reportedly, those who got in line at 10 AM on Saturday, when the convention opened for the day, didn’t get in till noon. Keep in mind that Saturday was sold out in advance, so all the people waiting outside that morning already had tickets.

THURSDAY 11 AM
Luckily, I didn’t have to join this shivering throng, since I was the grateful possessor of an all-powerful press badge. In fact, for me the convention really started on Thursday morning, when I went to the Javits Center for a meeting of the writers for Publishers Weekly‘s online newsletter Comics Week, who would be reporting on the con.

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This is the only time all year that virtually the entire Comics Week crew gets together; there aren’t even as many of us at the San Diego Con, it seems. (I’d recommend that we all have a part after the New York Con, but we’re all too busy writing and editing articles for Tuesday’s edition of Comics Week.)

Presiding over this annual assemblage was Comics Week editor in chief Calvin Reid and his second in command, Heidi MacDonald, the Beat in person, who looked quite stylish, having let her hair flow over her shoulders, and wearing a patterned skirt and boots. Also in attendance were contributors such as manga maven Kai-Ming Cha; Laurel Maury of The New Yorker website; Tom McLean, who writes the “Bags and Boards” blog on the comics business for Variety (http://weblogs.variety.com/bags_and_boards/); and Salon comics critic Douglas Wolk (http://dir.salon.com/topics/douglas_wolk/index.html?ti=1), among others. Under Calvin’s guidance we once again figuratively fused into a great journalistic Uni-Mind, much like in Jack Kirby’s Eternals.

Last year Comics Week was still quite new, and not as yet well known. This year, though, it was rewarding to hear Calvin tell us how much Comics Week‘s impact had grown; he even quoted one major comics blogger as saying that Comics Week was the equivalent of The New York Times for comics!

Speaking of the Times, this year, as it did last year, the New York Comic-Con shared the Javits Center with the annual New York Times Travel Show. Last year the Times had the main floor of the Convention Center while the Comic-Con was crammed into the much smaller lower floor. This year the Con and the Travel Show changed places: this time we were the main event!

This year the New York Comic-Con’s organizers, Reed Exhibitions, also avoided repeating 2006’s catastrophic blunder, when they grossly oversold the number of tickets, resulting in New York City fire marshals shutting down admission to the convention on Saturday: no one could get in, even if they had advance tickets, were comics professionals, or even exhibitors who had temporarily left their booths (see “Comics in Context” #123). This year there was no such problem, and Saturday-only admission tickets were sold out before the convention even began. This meant that on Saturday there were no longer any casual, drop-in customers. Bess Braswell of DK Publishing remarked to me that the New York Con audience seemed different last year. She suggested that last year many people had come to see the sheer “spectacle,” as she put it. I expect that year’s attendees, since they had to plan coming in advance, were much more seriously committed to comics.

After the Comics Week planning session ended, I headed off to the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art (www.moccany.org) to work on editing the labels (or “story cards,” as MoCCA calls them) which I had written for “Stan Lee: A Retrospective.” For two last minute additions to the show, I ended up writing the final cards Thursday night, the night before the exhibition had its grand opening.

FRIDAY 2 PM
I returned to the Javits Center on Friday afternoon, and my first stop was at the Show Office, where the head of programming, Mark Dressler, asked me if I would moderate a Saturday afternoon panel titled “NYCC’s Behind the Panels: The 80s Superhero Renaissance,” featuring Brian Bolland (Batman: The Killing Joke), Bill Sienkiewicz (Elektra: Assassin), Walter Simonson (Thor), and Rick Veitch (The One). This fit me perfectly as the man who recently gave the lecture serties “1986: The Year that Changed Comics” at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art. After rearranging the time of a signing I was scheduled to do for DK Publishing, I was happy to say yes.

FRIDAY 2:30 PM
My next stop was the panel “Comics Bloggers: Rewriting the Rules of Tastemaking and Trade Influence,” which was already in progress. The moderator was the omnipresent Beat, whose blog is one of the most widely read in the field of comics, and she was joined by Johanna Draper Carlson of “Comics Worth Reading” (http://comicsworthreading.com/), Chris Butcher of “Comics 212″ (http://comics212.net/), and Ron Hogan, who writes about comics for the book industry blog “Galley Cat” (http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/).

I read “The Beat” regularly and have visited “Comics Worth Reading” in the past, but I confess that I’d never known about these other two blogs before this panel. And though the Beat certainly knows about me, I suspect the other three bloggers don’t know about “Comics in Context” either.

Loyal regular readers may even be wondering, hey, why weren’t you invited to be on this panel? Well, I don’t consider “Comics in Context” to be a blog. Webster’s New Millennium Dictionary of English defines a blog as “an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page,” and notes that it is “typically updated daily.” Instead, “Comics in Context” is “updated” once a week. Those who claim that “Comics in Context” installments run too long are mistakenly applying the “blog” model to my work. I consider “Comics in Context” to be a weekly column, the online equivalent of one of the review columns which appears in weekly publications like The New Yorker and The New York Observer. Nonetheless, much of what the panelists said about comics blogs could also apply to my online column.

One of the panel’s major points was that with the rapidly increasing mainstream acceptance of the comics medium, comics blogs are suddenly being read by people beyond traditional comics fandom. The Beat explained that within the mainstream book community, there “were people who were fans [of comics] all along,” but “now it’s cool to admit it.” Moreover, there are also “now people who are discovering it [comics] because it is the cool thing.” Later in the panel, Butcher held that it used to be that “anyone who works in comics” either “loves comics,” “loves the industry” or “stumbled into it”; “now,” he claimed, “people are getting interested in comics because they know it’ll be profitable.”

Hogan pointed out that there are “hundreds of thousands of readers out there who aren’t like us” and “didn’t know that Neil Gaiman wrote comic books” before he wrote his novels and screenplays. I’d go further, and say that Neil Gaiman is still far from being a household name (For example, do your parents know who he is?), and that you have to explain who he is to any readers who aren’t longtime comics or fantasy novel aficionados. Hogan warned comics bloggers against becoming mired in what he termed “fan isolation.”

In fact, Hogan’s own blogging is evidence that people beyond traditional comics fandom are paying attention to comics news: “Galley Cat” is aimed at the entire publishing world, not the comics subculture. As Hogan told the audience later during the panel, “I’m not really writing for a comics audience.” He explained that when he does a story about comics, it must be something that will “appeal to a mainstream audience.” Hogan joked that when he recently mentioned a certain obscure and absurd Wonder Woman villain in his blog, “I had to contextualize Egg Fu for my audience.”

Johanna Draper Carlson agreed that the audience for comics blogs was becoming “more diverse.” Chris Butcher said that “the biggest thing” he did in his blog “in the last year or two” was to “add more context.” It was a “huge change,” he asserted, in moving from writing something “really inside” for his comics fan audience to realizing that there are “a lot of people who aren’t hard core comics fans who are reading this.” Indeed, Butcher said that “more and more” he is contacted by members of the press and magazine writers with questions on subjects he has written about.

The Beat said that she was trying “to be more sensitive” to the needs of wider readership. Later, she noted that “I’ve become “˜more influential'”–drawing invisible quotation marks in the air–because her blog is now carried by Publishers Weekly.

Right from the start of my column in 2003, I’ve sought to make it accessible and comprehensible for anyone with little or no background in the subjects I address. That’s one reason why it’s called “Comics in Context,” so I’m pleased to see these bloggers likewise recognize the duty they have to their readers to “contextualize.”

Representatives of the comics industry now have to be more careful about what they say to the comics press. Butcher warned that “now not just the comics industry,” but the “whole publishing industry knows what you say” in a major comics blog. He referred to Bill Jemas and the controversial “things he said in public” only several years ago, when he was the head of publishing at Marvel. Now, Butcher averred, “he wouldn’t get away with” them.

The writers of blogs have to be careful, too. Hogan said that he would ask himself, “Is what I’m writing reasonably critical or veering into bitchiness?”
The Beat maintained, “I don’t write anything I wouldn’t say to someone’s face.”

Johanna Draper Carlson disagreed, asserting that she would “phrase” a criticism of a creator’s work differently in her blog than she would in conversation with the creator. Hogan concurred, declaring that “I’m not going to tell [Marvel editor in chief] Joe Quesada that Civil War completely sucked and it fell apart at the end,” which Hogan actually believes (adding that he had hoped in vain that the story “would be told coherently”).

Reconsidering, the Beat said that if “sometimes you will write something that’d get you punched in the face” by someone you know, “maybe you shouldn’t be that person’s friend.” But this suggests that a critic should only have friends in the business whose work he or she likes. Yet, as Carlson observed, “your opinion is not yourself; your book is not yourself.” Aesthetic differences shouldn’t get in the way of friendship.

The philosophy that I follow is that my duty as a critic is to critique the work, not the person who did the work. It should be possible to review a work of art without dealing in personal invective.

I’m also always aware not only that anyone could read anything I write on the Internet, but also that whatever I write there could potentially exist somewhere on the Net forever. (Isn’t that right, graduate students of the future?)

An audience member asked the panelists which blogs they read. The Beat mentioned the new ComicMix (http://www.comicmix.com/), but I was startled that otherwise the panelists did not mention any of the comics-related blogs I regularly visit. Not Mark Evanier’s “News from Me” (http://www.newsfromme.com), which until this point I had assumed was widely popular. Not even Neil Gaiman’s “Journal” (http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/), which seemingly rivals his own fiction in popularity!

However, the Beat and the panelists seem to have focused their panel on blogs that deal in daily news and reviews. (So why didn’t they mention
Tom Spurgeon’s excellent “The Comics Reporter” [http://www.comicsreporter.com/]?). I find consulting one comics news blog, the Beat’s, usually sufficient for my purposes. Otherwise I enjoy blogs that provide entertaining personal perspectives on a variety of topics, not limited to comics, such as Colleen Doran’s (http://www.adistantsoil.com/blog/); Patricia Mulvihill’s (http://trishm.blogspot.com/); Peter Gillis’s, which is the most thought-provoking and superbly written blog that I know, whether dealing with comics or not (http://homepage.mac.com/petergillis/iblog/index.html); and, of course, Fearless Fred Hembeck’s (http://www.hembeck.com/FredSez.htm), which provides the same good humor as his column here at Quick Stop. I also regularly stop by Jerry Beck and Amid Amidi’s “Cartoon Brew” (http://www.cartoonbrew.com/) which is to animation news what the Beat is to comics.

Towards the end of the panel, a member of the audience asked the panelists a simple question, “Why do you blog?” “Because I can’t not blog,” replied Johanna Draper Carlson, who added that her work online “makes me a better writer, a better thinker.” her answer applies to me, too; I could stop writing this weekly column, but it means so much to me, and helps me develop my ideas about comics so effectively, that I would prefer not to.

The Beat told the audience, “I think I was born to blog.” Soon I imagined her armed with an electric guitar, performing this new variation on Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run,” leading the bloggers in this, their new anthem.

3:30 PM
The panels are held on the Javits Center’s first level, which is below street level. Now I ascended to the Convention’s main floor, which was Level 3.

I was immediately greeted by sights reminiscent of the San Diego Con: volunteers and security people in bright red shirts, demanding to see admission badges. Even more ominous than the Red Shirts was the sight of the elder god Cthulhu, hovering above the convention floor, just as he does in San Diego. Oh, yes, I know he looks like a gigantic smiling Pikachu from Pokemon, but I am not deceived. He lurks in full view, poised to suck the brains out of unsuspecting convention goers. And why he is starting greedily over at the Marvel booths? (That’s right, folks! In sharp contrast to the San Diego Con, there was a large Marvel ara on the convention floor, right inside one of its two main entrances.)

Immediately outside the entrance to this hall was a familiar sight from last year’s New York Comic-Con: “Car Toon,” the automobile decorated with drawings of characters from the whole history of comic books, comic strips and animation (see “Comics in Context” #125). Posing for photographers in front of the vehicle was DC’s Power Girl, busty, blonde and smiling. Nearby I saw Silent Bob, backwards cap and all, although this was a mere doppelganger, and not the True Master of the Quick Stop.

cic2007-03-02-03.jpg

On Friday until 4 PM only comics professionals, retailers, exhibitors, and press are allowed into the convention, and there were plenty of us: the hall was already crowded, but pleasantly so. Once the general public was let in, near-gridlock would develop here and there on the main floor.

In fact, near 4:30 PM, there was already a line waiting to go up the escalator to Artist’s Alley, which the Beat aptly renamed Artist’s Aerie, up on the fourth floor. On the way up to the Aerie, congoers passed by advertising for the Seven, a new project co-developed by Jim Shooter, and billed as “the greatest superhero team of all time.” In other words, it’s allegedly better than the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, the Justice League or the Incredibles. Even without seeing a Seven story, I find this hard to believe, but this won’t be the only case of hyperbole I’ll encounter at this year’s con.

If you walked all the way through Artist’s Aerie, you would find yourself in an enormous gaming area. Not interested, I turned back, failing to see that there were autograph booths along the sides of this gaming hall, to the left of its entrance. Thus, alas, I missed the opportunity to glimpse, in person, my hero Stephen Colbert, who was signing autographs at the from 4:30 to 5:15 PM on Friday, to promote Oni Press’s Stephen Colbert’s Tek Jansen, the comics mini-series based on his lookalike sci-fi hero. And why shouldn’t Dr. Colbert attend the New York Comic-Con? Is he not The Real Captain America?

Damn! I missed my chance to see an uniquely talented man who has devised a brilliantly comedic public persona for himself, and is a master of satiric irony. Would there be anyone else at the Comic-Con who matches that description? Yes, as you shall see.

The Javits Center is not only a long, cold walk from Penn Station, but also from any restaurants, and I hadn’t had lunch yet. Luckily, I reminded myself, there is an enormous food court on Level 1. I headed down there only to discover that, despite the presence of two major conventions, the Food Court wasn’t open. So I trekked back up to Level 3, where I was able to buy a sandwich, apple, and fruit juice for twice what they would cost at my local deli.

5:30 PM
The star of the next panel, “Jeff Smith Spotlight,” introduced himself to the audience: “I’m Jeff.”

“Hi, Jeff!” the audience enthusiastically called back, before breaking into applause for the writer, artist and creator of the comedy/fantasy/adventure comic book series Bone, who is currently providing his take on the original Captain Marvel in DC Comics’ Shazam!: The Monster Society of Evil limited series.

Looking around Room 1E15, where Jeff Smith was speaking, presented an unusual sight for a comics convention. There were kids here! And I don’t mean teenagers. I mean there were a goodly number of small children, members of the demographic that was once the traditional audience for comic books. In a time when Marvel shows us Spider-Man’s eye being gouged out (in a canonical story) and Mary Jane grotesquely dying thanks to Spidey’s radioactive semen (in the alternate reality of Spider-Man: Reign #3), and DC’s Blue Beetle gets his brains blown out on-panel, Jeff Smith has performed the miracle of creating in Bone an entertaining comic for all ages that is not only an acclaimed work of art but a commercial hit.

Smith’s presentation consisted principally of a slide show via the newfangled technology of PowerPoint, pairing “images that inspired me” in the real world with their counterparts in Bone.

Most of the natural landscapes in Bone were inspired by Old Man’s Cave Park, near Smith’s home in Columbus, Ohio. In one direction, he told us, are the “nearby foothills of Appalachia,” with their “rolling hills.” Turn south, he told us, and you will find “waterfalls” and “cliffs.” Old Man’s Cave itself, after which Smith titled Book 6 of Bone, is “more like a huge overhanging, a huge ledge,’ as he showed us in a photograph projected onscreen.

As for the kingdom of Atheia in the last third of Bone, Smith said he didn’t want to do the “European kind of kingdom” that you see in Snow White. “I decided to make it something Eastern,” Smith told us. “So I went to Katmandu.” Describing the photos he was showing us, Smith said Katmandu was “like Atlantis,” in that it was “a place that used to be powerful” and “a great kingdom” that “has fallen down a bit in recent times.”

Stating that “Bone takes place in a medieval time,” Smith then showed us a medieval European painting of people separating wheat from chaff; he said he wanted to be accurate in showing how such things were done at that stage of history.

Smith next showed a slide of a “prayer stone” with the eyes of the Buddha, and amusingly showed how he had adapted it into the face of Bone‘s Red Dragon.

Why was he showing us all of this? “When you’re drawing a comic,” Smith explained, “it really helps to look at stuff and make things real.”

This portion of his presentation wound up with a photograph of “the Standing Stones of Stenness” in the Orkney Islands off the coast of Scotland.
Smith spoke of “the quiet and the peace of that ancientness.” He continued, “You feel that kind of mystery,” which is “why you want to tell stories in the first place.”

For the second part of his visual presentation, Smith gave us a preview of the second issue of his Shazam series, which went on sale the following Wednesday. First, Smith explained the historical significance of its hero, the original Captain Marvel. Oddly, though, Smith referred to him as Shazam, which is actually the name of the elderly wizard in the series. By speaking Shazam’s name, young orphan Billy Batson magically transforms into the super-powerful Captain Marvel. (DC calls its Captain Marvel series Shazam in order to avoid violating Marvel Comics’ trademark.)

Each of the letters in Shazam’s name stands for a classical god or hero (or, in the case of S, the Jewish king Solomon), who represents a particular attribute. Smith tried to remember all of them, as the audience shouted out these he had forgotten. (“Zeus!” Smith exclaimed. “How could you forget Zeus?”)

Smith explained that in the 1940s “Shazam“ “outsold Superman“ and even “outsold Mickey Mouse,” and was the “most popular comic” ever, but had never since recaptured that level of popularity.

In the second issue of Smith’s Shazam series, Billy finds Mary, the sister he didn’t know he had. “I’m no Neil Gaiman,” Smith said, alluding to the Sandman author’s renowned expertise at performing his own work, “but I’m going to try to do a reading.” Actually, Smith proved to be quite good at it.

Reading his own dialogue aloud as he projected comics pages onscreen, Smith recounted how Billy, searching for his sister, visits a circus featuring “The Great Carlini and his world-famous Monster Society of Evil!!” The ringmaster’s name is a homage to DC editor Mike Carlin, but Mike’s cameo role does not last long, as he is gobbled up by talking alligators. (“The monsters have eaten the Great Carlini!”) This doesn’t come off as horrific, but as the stuff of traditional fairy tales. LIke the witch in “Hansel and Gretel,” the alligators hunger for “Tender, juicy children!”

One of the alligators seizes little Mary Batson, but Billy turns into Captain Marvel and rescues her. Coming to his aid is Smith’s revamped version of another classic character from the original Captain Marvel series, Mr. Tawky Tawny, the talking tiger.

LIstening to the audience’s reaction, I could see how well Smith captures the spirit of classic children’s literature. As Captain Marvel battles the alligators, the adults at the circus flee for their lives. “All the adults just give up on the children,” Smith observed, and the real audience laughed knowingly. Smith’s voracious but cowardly alligators (“We’ve lost! Quick! Eat the children!”) likewise earned appreciative laughter from both adults and children.

Smith left us with a cliffhanger, as Captain Marvel sights an enormous humanoid figure, its head literally in the clouds. Unprompted, audience members reacted with BIlly Batson’s favorite expression, “Holy moley!” And with the PowerPoint presentation finished, the audience applauded.

Smith then took questions from the audience, mostly from kids. The first of these kids started out, “I’m not sure of you remember any of the Bone books,” to audience amusement. The questioner wanted to know which volume of Bone was Smith’s favorite; Smith said Book #4, which turned out to be the kid’s favorite as well.

A thirteen-year-old wanted to know if there would be a Bone movie. “If you won’t let them change it and make it bad, you can’t make a movie,” Smith replied. Stating that he used to run an animation studio in Columbus, Smith conceded that “It could be done if I did it myself, but it’d be so much work.” He then reassured the questioner, “Don’t give up hope. It may happen someday.”

Discussing his relationship with Scholastic, the publishers of the color version of Bone, Smith said that “someone” at the company “was worried” about beer being served in a tavern in Bone, and “wanted to change it.” Smith didn’t, and “to Scholastic’s credit it was not a problem.”

Here Smith revealed that “I didn’t originally write it [Bone] for children. I wrote it for everyone.” He said that he likes works such as Huckleberry Finn and Star Wars which “start out as adventures” and “become more sophisticated.” Smith declared that “It’s parents and teachers who made it [Bone] a children’s book, not me.”

In any event, Smith said, he pointed out that the “good characters” in Bone don’t drink beer. The beer stayed in Bone, and Smith also noted that there’s beer, called “butterbeer,” in the Harry Potter books (which Scholastic also publishes in America).

Smith originally did Bone in black and white, but Scholastic wanted to redo it in color. Smith said that Scholastic had hired Art Spiegelman and his wife Francoise Mouly as consultants, and that “Art thought Bone should be in color.” Smith continued, “I resisted it at first.” He explained that “I spent a long time learning how to draw comics in black and white.” Smith told us, “I drew dawn in black and white. Do you know how hard that is?”

Smith also noted the irony that Spiegelman’s most famous work, Maus, is in black and white. But Spiegelman told him, “Bone is about life and it should be in color.” What finally convinced Smith, he informed us, was when Spiegelman told him, “It won’t be done until it’s in color.”

“I had a lot of concerns about doing it in color,” Smith concluded, “but in the end I’m really pleased with it.”

An eight-year-old in the back of the room asked, “How did you get the idea for Bone?”

Smith replied that “I was five or six when I was drawing different characters.'” One of them, “with his mouth open, looked like an old telephone receiver.” Smith therefore “called him Fone Bone” and “never stopped drawing him.” Fone Bone, he told us, “became a friend.”

Another questioner wondered, “Why do Smiley and Phoney”–the other Bone cousins–“wear clothes and Fone Bone doesn’t?”

“You’d probably have to ask my analyst,” replied Smith, who then said it was simply the “tradition” of funny animal stories according to which Donald Duck wears a shirt and no pants, and Mickey Mouse wears pants but often no shirt. Smith hypothesized that it seems talking animals must wear “just a piece of clothing” so we know this isn’t a realistic “nature” story.

Smith told the audience that he wanted his readers to “focus” on “character” and “the story,” not on how the book is drawn. This reminded me of Scott McCloud’s Making Comics, in which one of his four categories of comics artists is the Animists, who are devoted to “putting craft entirely in the service of its subject,” so that “the teller of the story all but vanishes in the telling” (see “Comics in Context” #156).

Asked what he would be doing after Shazam, Smith answered that he would be “working on an independent project,” whose title he would announce “at the end of this year or next year.”

At the end of the panel an audience member recalled Smith’s previous statement that he had regarded Fone Bone as his childhood friend. The questioner insightfully asked if ending the Bone series was “like losing a friend.”

Smith replied that his “wife would say yes,” and that he would say “possibly.” But Smith “doesn’t think so,” and asserted he “had a great time” working on the comic. He admitted he “had trouble ending it, not because I didn’t want to, but because I wanted to end it right.”

Then he concluded, “and I can go visit Fone Bone anytime.”

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF
On Monday March 5 at 6:30 PM I will be giving a lecture at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art in New York City in connection with its current show “Stan Lee: a Retrospective.” My subject will be the height of Stan Lee’s collaboration with Jack Kirby on “the Galactus trilogy,” “This Man, This Monster,” and other mid-1960s classics you can find in Essential Fantastic Four Vol. 3.

You can find my Comics Week reports on Stan Lee and Stephen King’s appearances at the New York Comic-Con here. For further details about their panels, please come back here next week.

–Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

10 Quick Questions: Brandi Engel

Filed under: 10 Quick Questions,Columns,Interviews,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:37 am
10quickquestions.jpg

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

This year we’re already listening to stories about how this could be the first time we get a woman to run for the White House. This year we’ve talked about how this is the first Super Bowl with two black head coaches. These events are just white noise around the fact that no one is talking about: these are all simply Americans who are now afforded an equal playing field that those who came before them had to hoe with their blood, sweat and sacrifice. To ascribe any more importance to the continual struggle we all face in our lives is to forget that there are far more important people who deserve the right to be singled out and BELIEVE IN ME deserves that honor. This is more than just a movie about women’s basketball, it’s a snapshot of how we went from irate and indignant when it came to equal rights for women in the 60’s to indifferent in the era of the WNBA.

Never mind segregation, women and their place in organized sports was also just another way that a specific and directed patriarchal societal bubble, because there are still pockets of them in existence today whether we care to admit it or not, defined what women should be doing with their free time.

No one bothered to ask the women what they wanted and in this film, directed by Robert Collector and starring Jeffrey Donovan as a coach who wants nothing more than to lead a band of boys, only to be saddled with a gaggle of girls who have the drive to want it more than their XY counterparts, you get the story of a man’s definition of what a woman is. By film’s end you see a unique evolution in the man the girls call “Coach” as he sees what everyone else should have known all along: Women deserve to be treated just as savagely on the court as their male counterparts and, if necessary, they can mix it up on the court just as well.

As such, these women are not fragile, even though some of their lives are depressingly fractured, and this film showcases the intrinsic toughness of these players as it’s seen through the eyes of one coach who has to struggle with getting over his own inability to see through a sex barrier that, again, is still appallingly present in more than just a handful of men.

The film’s use of place, Oklahoma in the 1960’s, and cinematography are effective enough to tell the story with accuracy and attention to detail. There is no snappy soundtrack, there is no schmaltzy ending that plagues so many other sports narratives and has single-handedly killed the form, there are no bombastic, self-serving, grandiose monologues where we’re led away from feeling like this is game and, instead, feels like a battle cry for war. Additionally, no, this movie will not change your world view but what it will do, however, is ask you to see where women were so many years ago and how, through fighting and struggling, the reason why you’ve come to enjoy Title IX benefits is because it all goes back to the ladies who had to blaze a path where there wasn’t one.

The story moves quick, we’re not left to meander through meaningless plot lines and what we get is a tightly controlled script that does what it needs to do and gets out when it should. What we get, then, is a movie that simply pays homage to a very real moment in our nation’s time line without it ever feeling pushy or false.

In an age when I wish we all could just see each other as Americans, instead of separate tribes in need of constant back-patting and fluffing by those who think they’re doing us all a favor by pointing out the apparent inequities that we’re all big enough to see for ourselves, this movie just warms you to the marrow when you see how many different ways one man could have walked away from a perceivably bad situation at a very bad time and in a very bad place for it to happen but, instead, just shuts everyone up and allows a team of women to play the same game their male brethren play while accomplishing what the boys could not: winning a championship.

I had the honor of talking to one of the young women who portrays Candy Brown, a pivotal player in the team’s cohesion, and her name is Brandi Engel. She’s a woman who has nary anything else ascribed to her resume and, as such, I took the chance to inquire about her career as an actress in Hollywood, what this film meant to her and where she plans to go from here.

BELIEVE IN ME opens in select cities on March 9th.

CHRISTOPHER STIPP: Now, you have, almost literally, come out of nowhere to star in this new movie BELIEVE IN ME. One of the first questions I had about the film when I did a little research on it was that wasn’t it supposed to come out last year?

BRANDI ENGEL:
Yes, I was surprised it took so long because I’m not really familiar with the post-production of movies, considering this is my first one, but I’m just thrilled that this movie is making it into theaters. People were saying [about whether it was going to play theatrically], “Well, we’re not sure”¦”

I know it made the rounds at festivals and it did fairly well and won a couple of awards but no one was sure about what was going to happen to it. But, FINALLY, it’s going to come out in theaters on March 9th.

STIPP: It’s in limited release but do you know which cities?

ENGEL: On the website, BelieveInMeMovie.com, they list all the cities but I know that, actually, they’re all big basketball cities.

STIPP: The movie was set in Oklahoma, right?

ENGEL: Yes, but we filmed in New Mexico.

STIPP: I heard that but why the odd difference in location?

ENGEL: I’m not sure exactly why but since it takes place in the 60’s and where we filmed, in small towns around Albuquerque, for example we filmed a lot in a town called Clovis, and it looked exactly like the period in which this story takes place.

STIPP: The movie captures that sense of place really well. It’s not ostentatiously thrown in there for effect but it melds the flavor of the time with the story in a nice way. I can see why they decided to film around those parts, as well. I’ve driven through a lot of New Mexico and some parts really are trapped in a time warp. How long did you shoot?

ENGEL: The shoot was about three months.

STIPP: When I watched the film I noticed you were on crutches for a long time. Did the person you portrayed really suffer that long with that injury?

ENGEL: It’s actually a crazy story, about me on crutches”¦Yes, I get hurt in the script but I actually got hurt, for real, while filming the movie. We were filming this basketball scene, I was going for a layup, and I landed on one of the opposing team’s, one of the girl’s, shoes and my ankle just gave out.

So, I got a pretty good sprain. It was my first sprain and they always say that the first sprain is always the worst. So, yeah, it was like, “Oh, great. Perfect.” This just had to be a basketball movie. So I was, sort of, out of commission for the rest of the film but I really lucked out because I was supposed to be on crutches anyway. So, in the end, they just had to rework some of the schedule to give me some time to heal”¦just give me some time to heal before we filmed some of the running scenes. But I was always taped and when we were filming my foot was in a bucket of ice to try and get the swelling down.

STIPP: Well, considering your injury, did any of the pivotal moments in the telling of this team’s story have to be tweaked to accommodate what happened to you?

ENGEL: Well, there were scenes that I should have been in but they just didn’t show me because of what happened. They were on a time schedule and had to get it done. And, you know, I just loved being there. It was my first film and I’m sure anyone else who did their first film just enjoyed every minute of it.

STIPP: Tell me about that. From what little I can read about what you did before all this happened you went to LA for what should have been a seven day jaunt turned into three weeks.

ENGEL: Well, in Pittsburgh, I had a solid theater background. Musical theater, actually. I’ve been singing, dancing and acting for as long as I can remember. So anytime when someone would come and offer a workshop, like an acting workshop, I’d attend. This guy, John Homa, the acting coach for General Hospital, came back several times to offer his workshop and got to know me a bit. He told me that there was something different about me and asked whether I’d ever thought to go out to LA and pursing a career. I thought, my parents would kill me.. “Hey I’m going to Hollywood. Bye!”

No one in my family is in the arts. They’re all business people. It has always been, “Get your education”, “Get your education”, “Get your education.” So, what I told John was that, “As much as I’d love to and as much as I have it in me”¦I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” He ended up calling my parents and said, “Look, just come out for a week. I can show you around, see how it is, I can take you on set for General Hospital”¦” And this is all right before I went to college. At this time I already had my roommate, we had already picked out bedding”¦I was going to school.

But, while I was in LA, I got introduced to this manager somehow and, even after I explained that I was leaving in a few days, for the fun of it, she gave me this cold read for some project and I read it. She said, “Oh my gosh. Wait, don’t go anywhere. Don’t move. They’re casting for this movie, BELIEVE IN ME. I think you’d be good for this part. Here, read the part.” And here I was saying, “Uhhhh, OK.” It was a whirlwind. I connected with the part. The script was just wonderful and it was such an uplifting story.

So, I went in, auditioned, went to the callbacks and the last callback was a basketball tryout, got the film, filmed it and decided to go back to college. I had a scholarship at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh and they could only hold my scholarship for so long. So, I had to go, put that into place and just get started with that. So, now I’m back and the movie is finally coming out.

STIPP: Are you still in school?

ENGEL: I’m taking this semester online.

I have an agent who said that if I could get my classes online I should come out for pilot season”¦Because I figure if I forget about the acting thing and go back to school I would forget about all of this and move on. I mean, everyone wants to be an actress and I can’t stop thinking about it and I just have it in me to do it. I love it.

STIPP: Are you working on anything right now? Anything coming up?

ENGEL: Right now, no. I’ve only actually been in Los Angeles for two weeks so I’m just kind of getting acclimated. I’ve been to some meetings and some auditions but nothing big yet.

STIPP: One of the items I read about your biography was that someone tried to steer you away from doing serial soaps, they called it “bad acting” and that you don’t want to get pigeon holed in that genre. I know a lot of A-list actors who came through the soap system and I’m curious to know if you felt”¦

ENGEL: I don’t think soaps are a form of bad acting, at all. I was told, and I’m still really new at everything, you have to be careful in the way you start your career because it’s easy to get typecasted. I mean I hear different things, of course, because, you’re right, there are all these other actors who have become successful, but some people have told me, “It’s not right you.”

STIPP: So, where’s your focus? School, acting?

ENGEL: I definitely, no matter what, want to finish my degree. But, if something big does come up, and I am thankful that Duquesne is willing to work with me, I am willing to take the work if it’s offered to me.

STIPP: BELIEVE IN ME kind of challenges the genre of the sports film, bucking the kind of trend that you see in movies like REMEMBER THE TITANS or GLORY ROAD, in that the material is treated with reverence and not exploited for that sort of big orchestra moment where the “final game” is where the entire of the focus of the film rests. Did the way they were going to shoot this movie, how they were planning on telling this story, opposed to the “Disney Treatment,” as it were, come across in the script? Did its unique angle immediately jump off the page?

ENGEL: Yes, absolutely. And what really surprised me was that the coach in the film, Jeffery Donovan, he did a fantastic job and he did a nice job in explaining that this was more than just a basketball movie. And what really made us realize, and appreciate, what we were doing was when we met the real team that this movie is based on. We met the real coach, Jim Keith and his wife and all the girls who he influenced and coached, and it really hit home for me. And, when I met the woman who I was playing in the movie, just talking with her about how this man changed her whole life made me see how it paved the way for women’s sports and where they are today.

We were also very much alike. We did this one interview with everybody and we ended up wearing the same thing to the interview. When I met her, when I first met her, we wore the same thing, black pants, a white shirt and a black cardigan. It was a little spooky. And, talking with her, this all was more than just a basketball movie. As well, in the movie when the coach and his wife talk about adoption it hit home for me because my family adopted my brother from Russia. That was an amazing experience and I think that this film helps to also support the idea of adoption.

STIPP: And what the real coach feel about the legacy he’s left for those who have come after him in the realm of women’s sports?

ENGEL: Every scene we did he seemed to have tears in his eyes. You could tell that he definitely wanted this story to be told and he was so supportive and the stories he told us were just”¦he was just full of thankfulness.

I feel like we did this movie for him.

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Weekend Shopping Guide 3/2/07: The Tide Is High

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:34 am
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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

 

Their big screen adventure in Miami hit theaters last week, and now’s the time to brush up on your Reno 911! with the single-disc Reno 911!: Most Wanted (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP), featuring their seven best episodes (including Paul Reuban’s hilarious turn as Rick from Citizen’s Patrol). The disc also features a live musical performance and a featurette of “Favorite Calls.”

 

 

I’m not really sure it’s possible to know Terry Gilliam as a person. I’ve known him for almost 7 years, and I don’t think I’m any closer to unlocking what makes him tick than I was the first time I ever talked to him all those years ago. As a filmmaker, Gilliam is only slightly less of an enigma – but an enigma nonetheless. It’s easy to try and say that the uncompromising cinematic and storytelling vision Tideland (Thinkfilm, Rated R, DVD-$27.98 SRP) – made during a break in filming the troubled Brothers Grimm – was somehow a reaction against the negative producorial influence that was tearing Grimm apart, but I think that oversimplifies Gilliam as an artist and a person… actually, it’s probably more an attempt to eternally cast him in the underdog role that has followed him since the now-famous events that surrounded both Brazil and Baron Munchausen. Divorced from all of that role-playing nonsense (some of which is explored in the Gilliam documentary that is featured on the second disc of this set, Getting Gilliam), I think Tideland is a beautiful piece of filmmaking for filmmaking’s sake. For many, it’s rather ersatz Alice in Wonderland tale of young Jeliza-Rose may be a little hard to stomach – this is not exactly a film that one walks away with whilst wearing a happy-go-lucky grin – but it’s a powerful film nonetheless, and one that deserves a second chance on home video (much like the renaissance of opinion that overtook Gilliam’s Fear & Loathing upon its home video release). The 2-disc set features audio commentary, an intro from Terry, deleted scenes, interviews, a behind-the-scenes featurette, and more.

 

 

Twomorrows turns the spotlight of their essential, must-have series Modern Masters on the wonderful Charles Vess (Twomorrows, $14.95 SRP). From Spider-Man to Sandman and Stardust in-between, the book covers the breadth of Vess’s career with an exceptionally in-depth interview and more artwork than you can shake a bundle of sticks at. It’s a shame that Twomorrows focus is largely on superhero comics, as I’d love a Modern Masters on Don Rosa. How ’bout it, guys? What if I begged?

 

 

A creature of profound habit whose every action of every days is exactly that of the day before, IRS agent Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) awakes to a sudden, terrifying realization – he is the character of a novel-in-progress being written by author Karen Eiffell (Emma Thompson)… a rather depressive sort who has a penchant for killing of her lead characters at the end of every book. Aided by a professor of literature (Dustin Hoffman), he’s got to try and find a way to take back his life and make sure it doesn’t all end with a period on the page. Stranger Than Fiction (Sony, Rated PG-13, DVD-$27.95 SRP) is a fun, quirky little flick, and Will Ferrell is fast becoming the versatile, drama-capable actor that Jim Carrey has been trying to lock for years. Bonus features include deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and an outtake reel.

 

 

Taking a page from Shout! Factory’s wonderful Dick Cavett Show releases, Rhino gives us a 3-disc box set featuring a total of 6 unedited episodes of Cavett contemporary Flip Wilson’s The Flip Wilson Show (Rhino, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP). Featuring guests including Albert Brooks, Johnny Cash, Tim Conway, Tony Randall, Richard Pryor, Ray Charles, Joan Rivers, Redd Foxx, and more, it’s an appetite-whetting taste of what I hope is more releases to come. Bonus materials include additional featurettes, episode intros from Conway and Phyllis Diller, and an interview with producer Bob Henry.

 

 

As much as I enjoyed the intricately woven script of the conspiracy thriller that is The State Within (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) – about a British ambassador who slowly unravels a complex, and shocking, plot after an airplane explodes in mid-air above Washington, DC – I got an even bigger kick out of the performance given by the actor playing the British Ambassador to Washington, Jason Isaacs. Always a delight in whatever he’s in, he’s doubly so as a man who realizes that he may just be a puppet in a much larger plan. The 2-disc set features a making-of documentary.

 

 

If you’re only familiar with – and dismissive of – the disco icons that the Bee Gees became in the 70’s, you’re in for a real shock when you hear their original late-60’s sound, courtesy of their first three, newly-remastered international debut albums (Rhino, $24.98 SRP each). Those albums – 1st, Horizontal, & Idea – are wonderfully evocative of the Brit-pop sound of the period, from The Beatles and Cat Stevens to The Hollies and even a bit of Cream. If you’re stuck in the mindset that all the Brothers Gibb had to offer was variations on “Staying Alive,” do check these out. These new 2-disc special editions feature the albums in both stereo and mono, plus dozens of unreleased demos, alternate tracks, and rarities.

 

 

I know what you’re thinking – “Didn’t we already get a director’s cut of Oliver Stone’s Alexander?” Well, yes, we have. Still, Stone obviously thought he could make it better, so we’ve gotten the relatively unprecedented (outside of a mook named Lucas) Alexander Revisited: The Final Cut (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP). Bottom line – is it better? Markedly so, but still not a great flick, no matter how hard Stone tries. Bonus features are limited to a brand new introduction from Stone.

 

 

If you’ve yet to pick up either the box set’s of Patrick McGoohan’s super-spy tun in the UK as Danger Man or its international incarnation Secret Agent, A&E has collected both of their previous box-set releases into one supersized 18-disc Secret Agent aka Danger Man Megaset (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$149.95 SRP), featuring all 86 episodes, including the color finale episodes and the US opening titles (with Johnny Rivers’ “Secret Agent Man” as its theme).

 

 

To a kid unaware of animation history, the sudden appearance of a cartoon calling itself Ghostbusters but with nary a Slimer in sight seemed like a cruel joke being played upon my Ghostbusters-loving childhood. Little did I know (but I soon found out) that this Filmation series – starring Jake, Eddie, and a super-smart gorilla named Tracy – was, in fact, the original Ghostbusters. It’s enjoyable for what it is, sure, but it will never replace Ray, Winston, Peter, and Egon. Still, as another slice of animation history, I’m glad that it’s getting a release on DVD from the fine folks at BCI, who’ve packed the 6-disc first volume (BCI, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) with the first 32 episodes, plus creator interviews, the original pilot, an episode of the live action series, an image gallery, storyboards, and more.

 

 

Dolly Parton & Friends (MPI, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) is a 2-disc collection of performances from the singer-songwriter’s eponymous 1976-77 variety show Dolly. Those guests include Kenny Rogers, Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris, Ann Murray, and more. There’s no denying Dolly’s infectious appeal.

 

 

 

It’s measured, contemplative, and a love letter to one harried expat’s recuperative, reinvigorating experience in France’s bucolic wine country… And, ultimately, Ridley Scott’s A Good Year (Fox, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.99 SRP) – starring Russell Crowe as the aforementioned English expat – is just, well, boring. Sad, but true. Bonus features include an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, music videos, and more.

 

 

How about a bit of a TV-on-DVD bonanza from the fine folks at Universal Home Video? As if the complete third season of The Rockford Files (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) weren’t welcome enough, there’s the sixth seasons of both Magnum P.I. (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) and Northern Exposure (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP) – its final season – as well as the debut season of old west adventure in Alias Smith and Jones (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), which even sports audio commentary from series creator Glen Larson on the pilot.

 

 

Any flick that has a cast that includes Brendan Fraser, Scott Glenn, and Mos Def is at least worth a check-see, if only for that eclectic mix. Journey To The End of the Night (First Look, Rated R, DVD-$26.99 SRP) is by no means the greatest little crime thriller ever, but it’s a pleasant enough way to kill a cold winter evening. For the cast alone. Bonus features are limited to a behind-the-scenes featurette.

 

 

And finally, we wrap up this week with a look at the quite nifty Mutts vinyl figures from Dark Horse ($17.99 SRP each). Both Mooch and Earl stand about 6″ each, and just looking at them, you know you want them…

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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QSE News: 3/2/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:29 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Sopranos actor Vincent Pastore has announced that he is backing out of the new season of ABC’s Dancing With the Stars.  Speculation centered on Pastore, 60, being unable to keep up physically with the demanding training sessions, but when asked as to why he was forgoing a stint on the successful show, Pastore responded that he’d “hate to have to bust Heather Mills one good knee if it looked like she was gonna beat me.  And besides, I don’t think the show can handle two “˜Big Pussys.’ Know what I’m sayin’?”
  • Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, co-executive producers for the hit TV show Lost, have signed a new deal with ABC Television that will keep them with the station till 2010.  The deal will elevate the pair to Executive Producers and give them a chance to develop new shows for the network.  The first new show, Missing, will debut in 2008 with other shows, such as Misplaced and Lost 2: Electric Boogaloo, premiering shortly thereafter.
  • Jeff Goldblum has won a permanent restraining order against a woman he claims has been stalking him for years.  After hearing testimony from both sides, a Superior court judge ruled that the woman, Linda Ransom, must stay at least 100 yards away from the aging actor.  When asked if the punishment was too harsh, the judge reportedly pointed out that “the general public stays at least 50 yards away from anything Glodblum touches.”
  • And finally today, a new book on the life of Bob Dylan will be released later this year. The book, titled Bob Dylan: Intimate Insights From Friends And Fellow Musicians, will feature stories from friends and fellow musicians such as The Beatles, Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty, among others. Dylan’s voice coach will not be featured in the book.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/2/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:27 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • This has got to be one of the most poorly conceived educational videos for kids I have ever laid eyes on… And it’s got The Fonz! (Thingamabob)
  • How great is voice artist extraordinaire Frank Welker? This great… (Thingamabob)
  • Okay, this is a good way to fry your eyes… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 1, 2007

Music For The Masses: 3/1/07 or The “Loose Ends” Edition

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:23 am
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Hey everybody!! Well, I was planning on keeping things shorter than Britney’s hair this week because my parole”¦ I mean, my”¦ umm, boss has me pickin’ up all kinds of stuff and I didn’t have a whole lotta time to chit chat. But that was before J.D. and Double A sent in their stuff. So, as a result, we are filled to the brim with goodness this week as I spend some time tying up loose ends, so to speak, by paying a long overdue visit to an old friend of Quick Stop, Mr. Neil Innes, and reviewing some recent concerts in traditional Hiaku. Plus, J.D. drops by with a huge slice of 80’s cheese and Double A checks in with the latest from the Wisemen. So, what do you say? You ready to have a wee bit o’ fun? How’s about we find out?

Loose Ends #1: An Album You Should Check Out…

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Neil Innes

Album: Works In Progress

Sounds like: Mark Knopfler singing the tunes of Paul Simon while jacked up on some whacky, hybrid mix of LSD, MDMA and carpet cleaner.

Now, I don’t usually open up like this, but I’m going to tell you folks something that I wouldn’t normally share with the common folk. However, considering that we are “tight n’ shit” and that I love each and every one of you more than Oscar-After-Party-No-Show Eddie Murphy loves a hooker with nuts, I thought I’d share a personal tid-bit about myself”¦

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Holy crap, Eddie! You can see “her” “Klump!”

I have a man-crush. Now, I’m sure many of you are out there, right now, saying to yourself, “Well, yeah, M.C., I have a man-crush on [INSERT SPORTS FIGURE, NIGHTLY NEWS ANCHOR, DATELINE’S CHRIS HANSEN, JALEEL WHITE, WIFE’S CO-WORKER’S REALLY-HOT HUSBAND HERE], too. Big deal.” Yeah, well, the big deal is that I’ve never had one of these before and honestly? I’m scared. In fact, I haven’t been this scared since Tom Cruise called down the wrath of Xenu on my head for calling him a “silly-little, couch-bouncin,’ fruity-bitch©.”

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“Hey Oprah!! Here’s the face I make as Katie thumbs my butt. EEEEEE!!!!”

But honestly, I felt that it was time to come clean about my huge-honkin’, wicked-ass case of man-love for Neil Innes. Of course, I’m not talking the kind of “man-love” where Neil and I spoon on the bed, watching Will & Grace and humming “How Deep Is Your Love?” as we cup each others junk in a gentle embrace. Au contraire, mon ami. This is the kind of man-love that comes out of a deep appreciation for and respect of a man’s work”¦ and besides, umm, he looks TOTALLY hot in jeans, but I digress. Now, for those of you sitting at work/home right now going “who in the hell is this Neil Innes guy anyway?,” well, I’m afraid that I’m going to defer to Quick Stop’s EIC, Mr. Kenneth “Boom Boom” Plume, who did one hell of a bang up job telling you just “who in the hell this Neil guy is, anyway” right here.

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Nope. Sorry. I can’t tell you much more about Neil’s storied past over and above what Ken wrote, basically because my knowledge of that past is “sketchy at best,” but I can tell you what I think of his ‘new” disc, Work In Progress. In a word, it’s fucking brilliant. Okay”¦ that was two words. Screw you. Make you feel special always correcting people? Fucker. But seriously, though, this is truly an amazing disc and, I would wager, a bit surprising. You see, considering that the man has spent a good portion of his career lampooning the Beatles, crafting tunes for Python and exploring the depths of Dada-infused jazz with the Bonzo Dog Dada Band, it is surprising to me to hear this exceptionally talented man veer away from spot-on parody, humor and the “all over the board,” trip-adelic jazz of past discs and embrace the more subtle and moody side of his melodic songwriting ability. Sure, the disc still hints at the whimsical and absurd, but this is much more of a “serious” affair and there is an undercurrent running through these tracks that is introspective, poignant, sharp and, at times, cutting.

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This entire disc is an aural treat, but the stand out tracks for this reviewer include the subtle balladry of “All Alone,” “Charlie (“Who gives a fuck about who shuts the fuck up?”) Big Potatoes,” the world-music infused “One Of These People” (which sounds like Innes singing with Johnny Clegg and Savuka) and the romping and cheeky polka of “Eye Candy.” Truly a treat, folks. Give it a spin and behold the man-love incurring glory of Mr. Neil Innes!!

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LOOSE ENDS #2″¦ CONCERT REVIEWS”¦

One of the “perks” related to being a “music reviewer” is the ability to see numerous live shows as various “bands” stagger and swagger through my cow-state in search of villages to plunder, virgins to de-flower and copious amounts of beer to drink. In the past week and a half, I caught three, count them, three, live acts here in our fair city. Rather than write up some boring-ass reviews of each show, I thought it would be more fun (read: EASIER) to do the concert reviews in Hiaku, the ancient Japanese poetic form. Now, for those of you “not in the know,” Haiku is, according to the lazy-college-student-handbook, or, as I like to call it, Wikipedia:

“a mode of Japanese poetry, the late 19th century revision by Masaoka Shiki of the older hokku (発句, hokku?), the opening verse of a linked verse form, haikai no renga. The traditional hokku consisted of a pattern of approximately 5, 7, 5 on. The Japanese word on, meaning “sound”, corresponds to a mora, a phonetic unit similar but not identical to the syllable of a language such as English.”

Yeah. Whatever. Well, without further ado, here are my concert reviews and please”¦feel free to count along with the syllables:

The Shins @ The Fillmore

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A winter’s wet dream,

Pansy rockers came to town.

Album great!! Show? Blew.

Glen Phillips (former lead singer of Toad the Wet Sprocket) @ The Soiled Dove

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Glen, you dopey “˜tard.

Why’d you leave that kickin’ band?

Your new tunes bore me.

Blue October @ The Ogden

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Crazy Ass Fucker,

Your new disc gave me a bone.

Your concert? HUGE bone!!

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When I first heard about this album, it was hyped as Think Differently Music Presents: Wisemen Approaching. That in itself was enough to get me to pick up this album. See, if you don’t know, Think Differently Music is the brainchild of Bronze Nazarath, who coincidently is one of the 4 members of Wisemen. In 2005, Think Differently Music released one of the best hip hop albums in the last few years with Wu-Tang Meets Indie Culture. This album combined Wu-Tang Clan members with stars of the underground scene such as MF Doom, Del Tha Funky Homosapeien and Aesop Rock. This was a GREAT album, which led to my interest in this particular Wisemen CD. But something strange happened when I actually picked up this new album. Nowhere on it does it even mention Think Differently Music. “Odd,” me thought. That little fact really has nothing to do with this review. I just need to waste space. Is this space fully wasted? Good, now we can move on.

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Now, Wisemen Approaching isn’t a bad album, but it falls into the same trap that a lot of recent releases. It’s fairly boring. Taking each song and listening to it on it’s own the songs are good, but taken as a whole, the album kind of drones on. Out of all the tunes, the track “Associated” breaks up the monotony of the rest of the album. “Associated,” featuring the Wu-Tangs own GZA is a great track. The beats are good and the raps come out fast and crisp. The song just has an energy to it that isn’t reflected on the rest of the album. The other songs all use a very mellow beat with a slow drawl for the vocals. Like I said, this is fine on a song for song basis, but over the whole album, it gets a little repetitive. Aside from “Associated” nothing on this album just out at me as says “listen, fat ass. This is some good music. Now go get me some cookies.”

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Mmm… cookies… and diet soda!!!!

Wisemen Approaching isn”t a bad album, but it is far from the near perfection that was Wu-Tang Meets Indie Culture. Hopefully Bronze Nazareth will get things back on track with the next album. I’m not upset about picking this album up, but I could have been a lot happier. Now all I gotta do is waste a little more space because otherwise, M.C. gets crazier than Brittany with a Flowbee®. So, um, crazy weather we’re having, eh? How ’bout them Mets? Um, well, that’s all I got, so I’m going to go grab me some of those aforementioned cookies.

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Reverb… with J.D.

Recently I got to talking with a friend of mine about baby clothes; she was excited because she had just picked up a onesie for her niece that said “Nobody Puts Baby In a Corner.” (For you youngsters out there, that was Patrick Swayze’s signature line in the 1980s cheese-movie Dirty Dancing. If you haven’t seen it yet, just sit on the couch for 12 hours and start flipping through channels”¦you’ll come across it).

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Baby clothes: Not as boring to talk about as you might think

This little bit of awesomeness got me to thinking about Swayze. If I were to name the greatest cheesy movies of the 80’s (a decade LUSH in cultural cheese) the first three that instantly come to mind are 1) Urban Cowboy (my favorite movie of all-time), 2) Road House, and 3) Dirty Dancing. Not only does Swayze star in two of those, but a little bit of digging on imdb.com reveals that his wife and mother (Lisa Niemi and Patsy Swayze) choreographed the dance sequences in Urban Cowboy.

Wow! That’s almost too much information to process. Throw in Red Dawn, Uncommon Valor, and Ghost, and you can make an airtight case that Swayze was–for a decade at least, but maybe for all-time–the undisputed King of So-Bad-They’re-Good movies.

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Dancer, Bouncer, Dead Guy: Versatile enough to suck in almost any role.

(Of course, he subsequently pushed his luck and made To Wong Foo, Something Something, Julie Newmar, a movie that nobody watched, and for which the soundtrack likely included “Taps” (to mark the end of his acting career). But considering that he hasn’t been seen since then, doesn’t now seem like a good time for Quentin Tarantino to cast him in something?)

Anyway, you might be wondering ‘Hey jacka**”¦where’s the music? WHERE’S THE F*****G MUSIC?????? (I just love it when you guys utilize the ’email the author’ button at the bottom of the column. No, really. Always brightens my day.) Well lest you forget, old Pat tried to parlay his superstar status into a singing gig, even contributing an original song to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

Swayze was neither the first nor, lamentably, the last actor to try to cross-pollinate success in Hollywood with rock stardom. It happens all too frequently, and it NEVER turns out well.

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Are you listening, Johnny Depp? NEVER!!

In what other industry does rousing success inspire the idea that equal success will follow by jumping into another field? Does a football coach switch gears and apply for the basketball coaching job? Does a stripper look at a prostitute and think, ‘Hey! I could do that!’? (Okay, bad example”¦but you get the point).

On the bright side, these forays–while musical disasters–often result in superb comedy. Here then are five fantastic examples of actors making the dubious leap. Click on the song title for links to videos of each–you won’t be disappointed! In fact, they all fall into the Swayze category”¦.so SOOOO bad, they’re good.

Let’s kick it off with the master himself:

Patrick Swayze

She’s Like The Wind

Highlight: Definitely the first line of the song: “She’s like the wind”¦.through my tree.” Pure poetry!

Eddie Murphy

Party all the time

Highlight: Tie–Rick James rocks Whitney Houston’s hairdo from the same time period and Eddie’s chorus sounds like he’s singing “My girl wants to potty all the time, potty all the time, potty all the tiiiiiiime.” Why can’t Flomax use this song in a marketing campaign?

Mr. T

Treat Your Mother Right

Highlight: Either the remarkably unsexy backup dancers, or Mr. T’s very sexy shorts. (However, the outstanding opening segue also deserves mention: Dissing on each other? No problem. Dissing on someone’s mother? T steps in!).

Juliette Lewis

Hot Kiss

Highlight: The fact that you get the sense that this is EXACTLY what Lewis is like in real life.

David Hasselhoff

Jump In My Car

Highlight: Too many to mention. Quite possibly the hands-down winner of the title “Greatest Video of All-Time.” Remember earlier when I said that the actor’s foray into music never turns out well? I stand corrected. This is everything you’d want a David Hasselhoff video to be, and more.

Rappers got it all wrong. “Ghost like Swayze?” Pshaw!!!

Don’t Hassel the Hoff!!

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E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

UPCOMING RELEASES”¦ 3/6/07

ARTIST TITLE GENRE
EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY ALL OF A SUDDEN I MISS EVERYONE ALTERNATIVE ROC
KADDISFLY SET SAIL THE PRAIRIE ALTERNATIVE ROC
BLOODJINN THIS MACHINE RUNS ON EMPTY METAL
69 EYES, THE ANGELS N/A
FIELD MUSIC TONES OF TOWN N/A
FINGER ELEVEN THEM VS. YOU VS. ME N/A
HAWKINS, TRAMAINE I NEVER LOST MY PRAISE LIVE N/A
ILLINOIS WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW? N/A
JAIN, ESSIE WE MADE THIS OURSELVES N/A
LITTLE AXE STONE COLD OHIO N/A
LMNO BOOM IT/RACE CARD N/A
MANDO DIAO LONG BEFORE ROCK’N’ROLL N/A
MANN, CHICO MANIFEST TONE VOL. 1 N/A
MENDEED THE DEAD LIVE BY LOVE N/A
MUNLY, JAY GALVANIZED YANKEE N/A
N.I.L. ST N/A
SHERWOOD, ADRIAN BECOMING A CLICHE N/A
SMOKE OR FIRE THIS SINKING SHIP N/A
STRIBORG NEFARIA N/A
SWEET, KELLY WE ARE ONE N/A
TIMES NEW VIKING THE PAISLEY REICH N/A
ANTIBALAS SECURITY ROCK
ARCADE FIRE NEON BIBLE ROCK
BIG BUSINESS HERE COME THE WATERWORKS ROCK
BLACKFIELD BLACKFIELD II ROCK
BRIGHT EYES FOUR WINDS ROCK
GREEN PITCH ACE OF HEARTS ROCK
HAMMOND, ALBERT JR. YOURS TO KEEP ROCK
HIGHER, THE ON FIRE ROCK
JONNY LIVES! GET STEADY ROCK
MRNORTH FEAR & DESIRE ROCK
ODAWAS RAVEN AND THE WHITE NIGHT ROCK
OKKERVIL RIVER BLACK SHEEP BOY (DEFINITIVE ED ROCK
ONE AM RADIO THIS TOO WILL PASS ROCK
ORANGEBURG MASSACRE MOOREA ROCK
PARKINS, ZEENA NIGHTMARE ALLEY ROCK
PAULSON ALL AT ONCE ROCK
RJD2 THE THIRD HAND ROCK
SECRET HANDSHAKE, THE SUMMER OF 98 ROCK
SEVENDUST ALPHA ROCK
SHAW BLADES INFLUENCE ROCK
SILMARIL THE VOYAGE OF ICARUS ROCK
TAYLOR, MARIA LYNN TEETER FLOWER ROCK
TRAGICALLY HIP WORLD CONTAINER ROCK
WHITE FLIGHT WHITE FLIGHT ROCK
WOLF & CUB VESSELS ROCK

Well, there you have it friends… another notch on the bed post. Until next week, keep wearing it proud and playing it loud.

Send pictures of your man-crush, review copies, hate mail and assorted presents to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 93 – They Shoot Freds, Don’t They?

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:53 am

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So The Departed won the Best Picture of the Year Oscar, huh? Did you see it? I didn’t, but that’s not all that unusual.

Y’see, these days, I generally prefer what broadcast television has to offer over what’s playing down at the multiplex, even the films that earn themselves statues of the coveted tiny golden eunuch. I much prefer an episode of 24 to most big-screen action flicks, an hour of Gilmore Girls to a majority of Hollywood’s romantic comedies, sixty minutes of Smallville to most cinematic super-hero adaptations, and a late night broadcast of Saturday Night Live to most any movie starring an SNL alum (Elf being a distinct exception)!

That being said, there was a time in my life (several, actually) when I fancied myself quite the cinephile. As a kid, well, sure I watched certain films – the Universal monster series and the Abbott and Costello canon come immediately to mind – but it wasn’t until I reached my mid-teens that I began actively seeking out quality films from the past. Once committed to the task, I’d regularly page through my Leonard Maltin Guide (first edition, no less) looking for four-star movies, and then scour the listings in the TV Guide to determine just what I could manage to eyeball that particular week. Sundays were always something else – I’d start the day off with some lighter fare (usually a Bowery Boys entry commencing around 11 AM), then view a classic or two during the afternoon (Mildred Pierce, High Noon, Arsenic and Old Lace, Twelve Angry Men, Fail Safe, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance), followed by something fresher during prime time (Cat Ballou, Some Like It Hot), with a late night nightcap featuring an otherwise unheralded flick starring the likes of Humphrey Bogart, Henry Fonda, or good ol’ James Stewart. Whew – those were some long, long days, lemme tell ya! But I’d later dutifully put a red check mark next to the Maltin review after making my way through each film, hoping one day to have nearly the entire book marked in red! Didn’t happen, but hey, it WAS a nice idea!

Once me and my buddies were old enough to drive, that once rare trip to the local popcorn palace (totally dependent on my stay-at-home parents) suddenly became a weekly – even bi-weekly – event. We didn’t always pick the BEST movies to see, true, but just by the law averages, we did manage to take in some contemporary classics (MASH, They Shoot Horse, Don’t They? , Bonnie and Clyde, Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid).

But probably my most pervasive cinematic period occurred during four years in the mid-seventies while I was a student at SUNY at Buffalo. Not only did they offer recent releases (six months or older) for the bargain price of a buck on weekends in their own theater in the campus commons building (including such odd fare as Altman’s Three Women and DePalma’s Get To Know Your Rabbit), but, best of all, each Wednesday night, in one of those 500 plus seat lecture halls over in the college’s science building, true classic movies were shown on a big screen! I caught The Bride of Frankenstein there for the umpteenth time (but the ONLY time on a large screen), as well as Citizen Kane, The Magnificent Ambersons, and Ace In The Hole (aka The Big Carnival), to name but a few. Those were some great times, friends – and did I mention it was all free?

Well, after leaving the campus environs, Lynn and I continued to take in our share of flicks – some on the ever shrinking big screen, some on pay cable channels like Showtime, and some on rented videotapes (later, DVDs). The last big burst of movie viewing came in the months just before our daughter Julie was born. We rented an average of three or four films a week in her last trimester, as there really wasn’t much else for my darlin’ dear wife to do at the time. We watched all kinds of stuff besides Oscar winners, including some of Spike Lee’s early movies, as well as some pretty bad SNL-derived comedies.

Then Julie arrived, and suddenly Disney became very popular hereabouts. Sitting down and watching OTHER movies? Not so much so. And going out? Hah! So, I settled instead into the network TV routine that I pretty much remain in to this very day. But even with this on-and-off relationship I’ve had with the movies over the years, I HAVE seen my share of feted films. I realized as much the other day when I was looking over a list of all the Best Picture winners posted on my buddy Roger Green’s blog (Relentlessly Rambling With Rog).

Roger indicated which of the movies he had seen, under what sort of circumstances and when he’d seen them, and offered impressions – if any – that he’d retained from viewing them. After going through friend Green’s list, I was all set to pitch my own two cents into his comments section, but then I was struck with maybe a BETTER idea – why not just steal his whole format and tick off my own Oscar-worthy memories? Yeah, I’m well aware that lists like this are pretty much pointless – that doesn’t mean they can’t be fun, though! So Roger – and anybody else who’s made it through my ponderous preface – begging your indulgence, here now MY Academy Award Best Picture of the Year Winners roll call!!

1928 – Wings: This hasn’t got anything to do with Paul McCartney, does it? No, I didn’t think so. Haven’t seen it.

1928 – Sunrise: Nope. 1928 just wasn’t my year.

1929 – The Broadway Melody: Or 1929 – I never saw this one either.

1930 – All Quiet on the Western Front: I watched this anti-war classic during one of those long-ago Sunday afternoon marathons, and unlike most of what flickered across my old black and white TV screen back then, a lot of this film remains with me. I should point out that, of all the popular film genres, the one I shy away from almost entirely is the war movie – unless it’s one that clearly makes the case that war is NOT a good thing, which this World War One-set scenario did brilliantly.

1931 – Cimarron: I’m not all that big on westerns, either, though I’ve seen my share. Not this one, though.

1932 – Grand Hotel: I THOUGHT I saw this one on the big screen during my college days, but after a quick consultation of my yellowed Maltin tome, I soon realized that I was confusing it with 1933’s similarly multi-storied Dinner At Eight. Both films feature Wallace Beery, after all, but it’s the latter one in which a radiantly sexy Jean Harlow shines in a comedic role (and a slinky dress), while the ’32 production offered instead the less yock-inducing allure of Greta Garbo. Guess I’m gonna hafta check into Grand Hotel someday. Room please – I vant to be alone!…

1933 – Cavalcade: I had to look this one up cuz I had NO idea what it was about. Turns out it was a lavish adaptation of an episodic Noel Coward play – songs included – starring a group of actors whose names I didn’t come anywhere close to recognizing! An early example of the Academy valuing the snooty over the popular, I’m guessing. Needless to say, I’ve never seen it, will probably never have a chance to, and – I can honestly say – I’m okay with that…

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1934 – It Happened One Night: This was the one that won ’em ALL: Best Director (Frank Capra), Best Actor (Clark Gable) , Best Actress (Claudette Colbert), and Best Screenplay! And this was one I saw at a very early age – around ten or so – on the tube with my parents. It was breezy fun, and had several memorable scenes – the hitchhiking scene, the blanket that served as The Walls of Jericho between improvised sleeping quarters of the two leads – though the concept of sexual tension went right over my head at that tender age. I may have seen this one a couple more times shortly after that initial viewing, but not since. Still a quality film I’m sure, it’s nonetheless long been eclipsed in the Capra canon by the Oscar-less It’s A Wonderful Life in both stature and popularity. An angel doesn’t get its wings every time Claudette Colbert hikes up her dress out on the highway, after all (more’s the pity…).

1935 – Mutiny on the Bounty: Another Clark Gable starrer, another Sunday afternoon classic. Charles Laughton as the tyrannical Captain Bligh made for an unforgettable bad guy, one that really got my teen-aged outrage stirred up! THAT was the end of the sailor’s life for me, lemme tell ya! Oh, and unless otherwise noted, like most of the movies here, I’ve only seen this one once, but based on nearly my forty year old recollections, I’d still recommend this one.

1936 – The Great Ziegfeld: Inasmuch as I was a bit tardy in coming to appreciate the musical form – and I NEVER grokked the bio film (the sole dubious exception being the pair of movies retelling the life story of Al Jolson – sorry, Roger…) – this one never even made it onto my radar. I MIGHT consider watching it if the chance presented itself nowadays, but I can’t say I’d ever seek it out…

1937 – The Life of Emile Zola: A 19th century French writer I’d never heard of portrayed by Paul Muni, an actor (save for the original Scarface) whose films I’ve never seen? Uh uh – another one that I blithely passed by. (But dig the subjects of these two biographies. Hollywood went for the prestigious historical figures in those days – in recent years, we’ve instead been treated to big budget takes on the likes of Sid and Nancy, Ed Wood, Andy Kaufman, Larry Flynt, and even the autobiography of Howard Stern! Not a Louie Pasteur in the bunch – now, THAT’S progress, huh?…)

1938 – You Can’t Take It With You: Another Capra production, this one a stage adaptation concerning an eccentric family, with James Stewart taking the Lily Munster role. I caught this one during the mid-eighties, renting a VHS tape of it from Alice In Videoland during a tubing phase wherein I made a really concerted effort to catch up on some of the classics I’d somehow overlooked in earlier times. It was pleasant, funny even, but not quite in the class of the superior Mr. Smith Goes To Washington (although Mr. Oscar was inexplicably out to lunch that afternoon…).

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1939 – Gone With the Wind: When I was a kid, my mom and dad only rarely endured the hour plus drive on out to the Cinerama theater in Syosset, Long Island, but when we did, it was always for a darn good reason. After seeing such triple-sized epics (because, young folks, that’s what Cinerama was – three massive screens perched right alongside one another, curved in at two joints) as How The West Was Won, The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm, and It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad World, my parents treated us all to a mid-sixties revival of the as-yet-to-be-telecast Civil War epic in the most impressive of surroundings available! Hey, we even bought us a commemorative booklet! This was a film I enjoyed immensely, and in fact have seen several times since (including on a big – if not exactly Cinerama sized – screen while in college). Hey, I even read the book in tenth grade when it was offered as one of several options – even instead of tomes clocking in at two to three hundred pages less, which oughta tell you something! The third Clark Gable starrer on this list – I was never a particularly big fan of his, but I have to admit he really brought the goods to each of these roles – the true star was the beauteous Vivien Leigh, whose performance hit all the right notes – alluring, annoying, determined, if perhaps a little TOO hung up on Leslie Howard’s Ashley Wilkes (I never quite understood THAT fixation as a kid, and I still don’t). The scope of the film (i.e. the burning of Atlanta) is literally jaw-dropping at times. And it boasts a good solid story that keeps moving along at a nice clip. That said, my pal Roger’s never been able to make it all the way through the picture, and inasmuch as I’m a white guy and he’s not, that’s understandable – it’s being filtered through a whole ‘nother perspective for my Mr. Green. Truth is, Rog, while it’s hardly three hours of Steppin’ Fetchit-like antics, I CAN see how some of even the well-intentioned characterizations can be cringe-inducing (“Oh lordy, I never delivered me a baby before!” screeched Butterfly McQueen at a very high pitch, waking sleeping dogs for miles around…), and there’s a whole sequence towards the end regarding the burning of a shanty town that resembles Klu Klux Klan-like justice far too closely for my tastes. But, on a happier note, Gone With The Wind is one of two Best Picture winners to feature – however briefly – the talents of the small screen’s future Man of Steel himself, George Reeves! (And no, the other Tarleton twin was played by Fred Crane, not Kirk Alyn – now wouldn’t THAT have been something, huh?…) Frankly, my dear Rog, most folks didn’t give a damn, but hey, I sure did!

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1940 – Rebecca: Saw this one on video in the mid-eighties, another one of my attempts to play catch-up. I’ve probably seen at least half, maybe two-thirds of director Alfred Hitchcock’s ouerve. This one’s pretty good, if not outstanding compared to some of his later work (my two favorite Hitch’s would be Strangers On A Train and Rear Window, and I also enjoyed the novelty aspects of both Lifeboat (taking place in a single, cramped setting for nearly the entire movie) and Rope (filmed solely in several long, ten-minute plus uninterrupted takes). Judith Anderson as the hatchet-faced housekeeper is memorably creepy, though – this AIN’T no Sunnybrook farm, y’know!

1941 – How Green Was My Valley: Somehow, the notion of John Ford directing a story about a family of Welsh coal-miners somehow just never managed to get me in front of the tube (and most likely never will), but with a title like THAT, how ever did my pal Roger GREEN let it slip by unwatched I’m wondering?…

1942 – Mrs. Miniver: A story about war-time in England filmed during the actual war-time – somehow, that very fact seemed to date the movie for me (I could be wrong), so I never went anywhere near it. On the other hand…

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1943 – Casablanca: THIS was a war-time story filmed during the actual war-time as well, and THIS one I’ve seen at least a dozen times! Mostly, that was due to a VERY HEAVY Humphrey Bogart phase I went through in my later teen years. I wasn’t the only one – the decade-long deceased actor was going through a tremendous revival towards the end of sixties. I happened upon an article about him which peaked my interest around then, and when a local station ran a Bogie week during their late-movie slot soon afterwards, I stayed up way past my bedtime that Monday all the way through Friday to watch each one of ’em. No, Casablanca WASN’T included in the mix (first up was High Sierra – which sold me right then and there – followed by Sahara, Dead End, and my two very favorite Bogart pictures of all, The Maltese Falcon, and the magnificent The Treasure of the Sierra Madre). Fact is, the first time I saw Casablanca, I didn’t quite understand its appeal. I later realized – upon seeing it on a big-screen at a Greenwich Village revival house circa 1970 – that my initial viewing of the classic (aired during a 4:30 to 6 afternoon movie slot) was horrifically truncated – they took out all the flashback sequences so as to fit in more commercials in! Can you imagine? Filled with great supporting actors – Peter Lorre, Sydney Greenstreet, Claude Rains – this is a movie that just seems to get better and better with each subsequent viewing! Watch it again, Sam – and you too Bill, Tom, Terry, and Roger!

1944 – Going My Way: Oddly enough – especially with the recent bout of Bing-mania that’s infected my CD player over the past decade – aside from his Road pictures with Bob Hope, I still seem to have mustered little interest in actually watching der Bingle act – especially as a clergyman, Oscar or no. So no, I haven’t seen this one, though there IS a chance(especially if there’s a heretofore unreeled scene featuring ol’ ski-nose in the confessional!…).

1945 – The Lost Weekend: Forget Hitchcock, Capra, Ford, or Huston – by far my favorite director from Hollywood’s so-called Golden Age was Billy Wilder! Which makes it surprising that it took me til my belated mid-eighties cinema cramming to view not only this celebrated film, but the other Wilder entry on this list (The Apartment) as well. Ray Milland – though he’ll always be first and foremost X, The Man With The X-ray Eyes to me – is outstanding in his award winning performance as an alcoholic. It’s an excellent movie, certainly a trailblazer of sorts regarding some largely ignored social issues of the day, but in the Wilder resume, personally I prefer Sunset Boulevard, Some Like It Hot, Stalag 17, Double Indemnity, and Ace In the Hole (aka The Big Carnival) – how come you didn’t vote any of THOSE pictures the coveted Best Picture Oscar, Academy voters? (And let’s not forget The Major And The Minor, Wilder’s directorial debut, in which a fully grown, 30 year old Ginger Rogers pretends to be 12 years old in order to save on train fare, and then accidentally – and improbably – becomes involved in a sober if apparently near-sighted Ray Milland, and the military school he runs! I saw this well-played farce at a very, very young age – probably before hitting ten – and after seeing it again many years later, I clearly understood how the idea of the fresh-faced Rogers as a girl only a few years my senior could’ve left such an indelible impression on me – wotta sweetie! Y’know, I never DID find a twelve year old nearly as cute as Ginger – and no, Chris Hanson, I’m NOT still looking!…)

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1946 – The Best Years of Our Lives: I saw this one in UB’s science lecture hall. Quite a powerful film, it concern several GIs coming home from the recently ended second World War, including the year’s Oscar winning supporting actor, Harold Russell. Russell wasn’t a professional, but he sure gave a convincing performance as a returning vet whose hands had been replaced by metal hooks – probably because he had to live the role, as those hooks were real. I remember this to be a mostly depressing film, softened by a modest dollop of optimism. Worth seeing, at least once.

1947 – Gentleman’s Agreement: Writer Gregory Peck pretends to be Jewish so as to expose anti-Semitism. I never saw it. Maltin says its once daring approach is tame now – and Len wrote THAT back in 1969! I’d be mildly interested in seeing this one someday. (Can you believe I’ve never seen the Peckster in To Kill A Mockingbird either? THAT one should be a bit higher up than this one on the too-see list I’m thinking…)

1948 – Hamlet: Shakespeare? Regular readers of my “Fred Sez” blog know where I stand on The Bard – once a year, I go to my daughter’s school and enjoy their annual Shakespeare offering, and that’s IT. I’ve never seen ANY of Willy the Shake’s film work, and even when I recently expressed some interest in getting me some much needed culture via one of the renowned playwright’s cinematic adaptations, several folks (hi, Tom!) warned me off this version. To watch or not to watch – there’s really NO question! I ain’t watching this one, sorry…

1949 – All the King’s Men: I saw this one in some pretty unique circumstances – someone at our high school decided it would be a swell idea to screen this in the auditorium for the entire school to see, the one and only time that ever happened. Broderick Crawford, years before he joined the Highway Patrol (and even longer before he appeared as perhaps the most openly nervous host in SNL history) plays a corrupt politician in a story based on real-life events. I recall it as being a decent movie, though viewed in surroundings not necessarily conducive to maintaining one’s full attention (“Hey! Cut it out with those spitballs!”), so it’s hard for me to say much more about the film.

1950 – All About Eve: This Bette Davis back-stage showbiz expose was another classic rented from the fine folks at Alice In Videoland during the eighties. I enjoyed it well enough, but can’t muster up much of anything else to say about it – insert your own “it’s going to be a bumpy ride” gag here.

1951 – An American in Paris: During the early eighties, after long ignoring movie musicals, I went through a phase where I became overly enamored with the work of Gene Kelly. This was likely due to my vast appreciation for his performances in both On The Town and Singin’ In The Rain (the latter of which I’ve seen multiple times, and is my favorite of all movie musicals). So I eagerly rented An American In Paris! Eh. Some nice dance sequences, but ultimately, it left about as much an impression on me as did one of Gene’s later works: Xanadu – and THAT one boasted a Marvel Comics adaptation to help jog the ol’ memory (not to mention an Olivia Newton-John/ELO soundtrack to boot!). Guess I really missed seeing Singin’ In The Rain co-star Debbie Reynolds in that French setting – now, she was truly an eye-full!

1952 – The Greatest Show on Earth: This is one of those movies that critical revisionism would have you believe really, REALLY shouldn’t have taken home the big prize! They’re probably right, but inasmuch as this was likely the very first of ANY of these films to be viewed by yours truly when I was but a lad of single digits – and not once since – I can’t say definitively. The only thing I do recall about this circus picture was the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo of a silent Hope and Crosby, sitting in the bleachers, sharing a carton of popcorn. This was one time when the boys were clearly on the road to an easy payday, lemme tell ya…

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1953 – From Here to Eternity: Omigosh, but this one is a REAL goodie – you’ve gotta make a point of seeing it Rog! I first caught in on one of my housebound Sunday afternoons at the cinema, but mere months later, it was memorably run, thirty minutes at a clip, over a weeks time in my 9th grade English class! And it was during that group viewing experience that I clearly recall more than one of my fellow students calling out “Hey look – it’s Superman!” when George Reeves appeared on screen (his role having been pared down only weeks before the film’s release because the very same thing happened during previews), making this the second Best Picture winner to feature the faux Kryptonian (What? You were expecting maybe Superman Versus The Mole Men?…). Beyond that, the cast is superb – Montgomery Clift, Burt Lancaster, Deborah Kerr, Donna Reed, Ernest Borgnine, and featuring an Oscar worthy turn – and career reviving performance – from Old Blue Eyes himself, Frank Sinatra! All this, and you’ve got the December 7th attack on Pearl Harbor for your big finish! Lotsa story here, and it moves at a brisk pace. So what if I didn’t quite realize that Paul Peterson and Shelley Fabare’s TV mom was supposed to be a high-priced call girl when I originally watched it – it was still plenty engrossing! Highly recommended!

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1954 – On the Waterfront: As is this one! Watching On the Waterfront as a teen, alone in my room, this gritty Elia Kazan directed expose of union corruption packed quite a wallop. I’ve seen it several times since, including on the big screen up in Buffalo. Marlon Brando is at the absolute top of his form, and is there any more iconic scene featuring the legendary actor than the one set in the back of the cab shared with brother Rod Steiger? “I coulda been a contenda” indeed! (By the way, it sure was nice to see co-stars Brando and Eva Marie Saint together again last year in Superman Returns – he as the Man of Steel’s Krytonian dad, she as his earthly foster-mom – wasn’t it? Too bad Steiger was unavailable – he’da made a keen Luthor!…)

1955 – Marty: How’d I ever miss this one? Captain McHale dating Lou Grant’s boss, Mrs. Pynchon? But I did. Maybe someday…

1956 – Around the World in 80 Days: Despite the myriad of star cameos – over forty! – I never mustered the prerequisite stamina necessary to sit through this adaptation of Jules Verne’s classic overseen by one of Liz Taylor’s early, doomed hubbys. But if I ever feel the need to go on a Cantinflas kick, this’ll be the first movie I’ll look to!

1957 – The Bridge on the River Kwai: This one I saw on one of those prime-time NBC Saturday Night at the Movies thingies during the mid-sixties. Long and epic, I also wasn’t overly impressed – sorry. This highly respected film concerning British soldiers building a bridge while being held in a Japanese prison camp during World War Two – and the American who wants to blow it up – wasn’t exactly The Longest Day (a re-release of which friends dragged me to in the early seventies), but it wasn’t Paths of Glory, either, and like I said earlier, I prefer my war movies more along the lines of Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece rather than anything featuring John Wayne (there, I’ve said it – I don’t like John Wayne, whether he’s on a horse or sitting in a tank! He WAS pretty good on I Love Lucy, though…). If nothing else, this film produced the most popular tune ever whistled – that is, until the Andy Griffith Show commenced production few years later!…

1958 – Gigi: A musical set in turn of the century (the one before last, that is) France, starring the aging Maurice Chevalier singing about the praises of little girls – gee, how’d I ever let this one get past me? But I did. Maybe someday, but please – I’d advise no holding of the breath…

1959 – Ben-Hur: Full scale Biblical epics have never been this ol’ heathens cup of tea, and I honestly didn’t think I’d ever actually seen this until I sat down to write this. Now, dimly, I DO recall viewing a mid-sixties prime-time airing. Way cool chariot race, but otherwise…

1960 – The Apartment: Jack Lemmon, Shirley Maclaine, Fred MacMurray, all working under the direction of the great Billy Wilder – you’d figure me to absolutely LOVE this picture, wouldn’t you? Well, I don’t. It’s…okay, but still, to me, lesser Wilder. Of course, I only saw it a single time, via a tape rented from a girl named Alice. Maybe this is one film on the list I truly owe a second look…

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1961 – West Side Story: Remember how I said made it a point to always avoid musicals? Well, I did my best to duck this multi-feted video adaptation of the popular Broadway production for a long, long time – and that’s the way things may well’ve stayed if gal pal Lynn hadn’t dragged me along to see a re-release of one of her favorites back during our Buffalo days. Gang, that’s ALL it took – I absolutely LOVE this movie! LOVE! AND the music as well – I have me the original Broadway cast recording, the movie soundtrack, even an all-star CD that features (among others) Little Richard singing “I Feel Pretty”! I’ve seen the movie at least three times, most recently on the tube with daughter Julie, who also dug it, but as I’ve played the various CDs so often – and they always bring the story so vividly to mind – it seems like I’ve seen it far more times than that! And every time, every single time, I get all weepy at the end! Sniff. If I had to pick my single favorite film from this entire list, well, I’m not saying this would be it, but it sure would be among the finalists! And hey, if you DON’T dig West Side Story, what else is there to say, save “Krupe you!”

1962 – Lawrence of Arabia: Another David Lean epic blockbuster, and another movie that has eluded me over the years. I was nine when this hit the theaters, and my most vivid contemporaneous memory of the film was the issue of Mad magazine – one of the very first that I’d ever bought – featuring Norman Mingo’s painting of Alfred of Arabia on the cover!

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1963 – Tom Jones: Okay, now I’m ten years old, and people keep talking about this bawdy English film with the suggestive eating scene in it! How can eating be suggestive, I wondered? Well, even though I have seen that particular clip several times over the past few decades, I’ve never actually seen the film proper. And if you think avoiding Tom Jones has somehow improved my table manners, well, that’s not unusual, is it?…

1964 – My Fair Lady: Again, a musical I’ve long ducked. I should probably cut it some slack and check it out someday – which is more likely to happen than with Gigi, I’m thinking…

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1965 – The Sound of Music: Hey, I saw THIS one – and more than once! Fact is, the whole family hopped in the Chevy and drove on down to the Cinerama theater (even though it wasn’t actually filmed in Cinerama) to view this Julie Andrews star-making vehicle soon after it’s initial release – and yup, I even have the souvenir book to prove it! I was quite taken with it at the time – I used to spin around on my next door neighbors front lawn, croaking “The hills are alive with the sound of music!” until I got dizzy and fell down! But as the sixties rolled on, the film gained a reputation of being vastly uncool – and being the impressionable rebel that I was, I quickly bought into that perception. It wasn’t until, in an effort to move on up from a diet of non-stop Disney fare, we rented a copy of it and showed to young Julie back when she was 7 or 8. After which, it was all my long-suffering wife could do to keep me from warbling and twirling in the living room! (Julie liked it, too.) (Oh, and do look for a young Nicholas Hammond, TV’s first Spider-Man, among the older children. Sadly for Nick, few folks are ever likely to shout out, “Hey look – it’s Spider-Man!” when this film is revived…). It was a lot better than I remembered it to be, honestly…

1966 – A Man For All Seasons: This one’s all about ancient British history! My head hurts just thinking about it – even Gigi‘s got a better shot at grabbing my attention…

1967 – In the Heat of the Night: Hard to believe, but somehow, I’ve never actually seen this one. It hit the theaters about two years before me and my buddies got behind the wheels of a car, which severely restricted our access to new releases (I didn’t see another widely written about examination of race relations, Hollywood style, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, until I caught most of the last two-thirds of that film on a hotel TV in the early eighties, by which time it just seemed…quaint. Not sure how Steiger and Poitier’s efforts would look forty years on, but I’ll admit, I’d be mildly curious to find out.)

1968 – Oliver!: The last gasp of the Hollywood musical, and from what I’ve heard, it was no My Fair Lady – or even a Gigi. Never seen, and odds are I never will, guv’nor!

1969 – Midnight Cowboy: Saw this a couple of times, though not right after it came out – it was originally X-rated, remember? And I was only 16 at the time. I probably caught a 1971 re-release, and then saw it again during my college stay in Buffalo. It certainly wasn’t the prurient movie I was expecting (did I mention the X-rating?), so as a thrill seeking teen, I was initially disappointed, but I was able to appreciate it far more upon my second viewing. Good acting all around, and a heart-breaking ending. 1970 – Patton: My buddies dragged me to this one (we finally had our licenses – yay!), but outside of the opening with George C. Scott pontificating in front of an enormous American flag, and then later when the general slaps the private’s face, there’s not much I recall about this film – save that aside for those two scenes, the whole things seemed like the sort of standard issue battle picture I strove to avoid. After going along with this, I think I talked my pals into taking in Robert Altman’s follow-up to MASH, Brewster McCloud – and lemme tell ya, I NEVER heard the end of that one! Bud Cort building a set of wings so as to fly in the upper reaches of the Houston Astrodome just didn’t seem to resonate with my friends. Philistines!…

1971 – The French Connection: The movie that put Poughkeepsie on the map – and now I live in the very next town over! Ain’t life crazy? It also put future Lex Luthor Gene Hackman on the map in his role of Popeye Doyle (Hey! ANOTHER comics reference!), one of the first big screen cops that didn’t always go by the book or look like Steve McQeen, but still clearly was the good guy. This film went over just fine with the gang, even though it’s probably no true cinematic classic. Still, that car chase sure was thrilling to see up on the big screen…

1972 – The Godfather: Another book brilliantly brought to the screen. Yeah, I realize it’s, um, a tad violent Rog, but there’s SO much else there to compensate for the liberal use of caro syrup (though that horse head in the bed scene remains the single most unsettling moment in the film). I’ve seen this one several times, once upon it’s original release, once up at college, and later on the small screen. The acting is first rate all around, with Al Pacino giving perhaps the most interesting performance as we see his character slowly but inexorably evolve over the course of the film. Epic in a good sense.

1973 – The Sting: Saw this when it came out. I remember it as being light fun (though clearly not as memorable as Paul Newman and Robert Redford’s earlier triumph, Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid), and the Scott Joplin soundtrack became so pervasively popular, the background music for my college tenure – at least a small portion of it – was ragtime! Who’da thot? Otherwise, I recall no other details, save for the fact when the sequel came out, the leads made themselves unavailable, so the studio hired Jackie Gleason and Mac Davis to headline The Sting Two instead! Sure – makes sense to me! Hard to tell those four apart when you get right down to it, eh?…

1974 – The Godfather Part II: Even without Mac and Jackie, THIS follow-up proved to be even better than the original! And to make up for Marlon Brando’s Godfather absence (he died – peacefully even – in the first film), Robert DeNiro ably filled in as the same character in flashbacks to Vito Corleone’s earlier days. I haven’t seen this one in a while, but I’ve long been meaning to watch the resequenced mash-up of the two films that’s known as The Godfather Saga (I’ve never seen the third, largely panned, chapter either, but I really should, if only just because…).

1975 – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: Lynn LOVED the Ken Kesey book this movie was based on, so we were pretty much right up at the front of the line when this one hit the theaters back in ’75. She wasn’t disappointed, and neither was I. Director Milos Forman and his cast – headed by Jack Nicholson, and featuring future Taxi castmates, Danny Devito and Christopher Lloyd – did an amazing job bringing the source material faithfully to life. Still, though, having read Kesey’s novel not long afterwards, I was always somewhat ambivalent about the ending. I’m not sure WHAT exactly I wanted to see (or read), but I felt vaguely unsatisfied by the way things wound up. Maybe that’s why, as good as this film is, I’ve never gone back to take another look…

1976 – Rocky: The little film that could. The big lug from The Lords of Flatbush and Deathrace 2000 (I didn’t always go see the BEST of movies back then, y’know) not only stars in this saga of an underdog boxer, but he WROTE it too! Wow! Talk about playing against type! An enjoyable, sentimental cornball popcorn movie, it was good enough to get me to fork out cash to see the sequel. The sequel, however, WASN’T good enough to wrest anymore money away from me for subsequent sequels (though the latest – some say the last, but we’ll see – episode looks genuinely intriguing) – I never spent any money on Rambo, either. But hats off to Stallone – Rocky‘s definitely carved out a place in pop culture history for Sly, and that’s no small achievement.

1977 – Annie Hall: Woody Allen’s best film? Probably. I loved it at the time, though I haven’t seen it since it came out (I instead kept going to each new Allen release for the next decade or so before finally giving up as the funny quotient continued to get smaller and smaller – though I DID see – and liked – Mighty Aphrodite). This one features my all-time favorite Allen gag: Christopher Walken is Diane Keaton’s demented brother, who, upon first meeting his sister’s new beau, describes to an unsettled Allen his fantasy of, one day while out driving, just randomly swerving head-on into traffic in the other lane! Given Walken’s line reading, that’s already creepy funny, but the real topper comes several minutes later, after Walken has been off-screen long enough for the audience to at momentarily forget him. We find out, in an off hand manner, that whoever was supposed to drive Allen and Keaton to the airport had to bail at the last moment, and before we can wonder who’s gonna take over the job, the scene cuts to a speechless, wide-eyed Allen sitting next to Walken, who’s manning the wheel, the windshield wipers going back and forth in the driving rain, Woody’s fear playing palpably – and hilariously – across his face! Y’know, I think of that scene every time I get into my car – hey, anybody out there need a ride?

1978 – The Deer Hunter: Okay, this one I really didn’t like all that much. Hey, I wasn’t the only one – at the nearly packed theater I saw this in, mid-way through the Viet Nam sequences, a fellow got up out of his seat, loudly proclaimed “It wasn’t like that at all!” and stormed out. If we had all been in a movie, the disgruntled vet would’ve opened fire on us, but happily, in real life, he was simply annoyed, not deranged. Too long for my tastes, and far too ambiguously arty as well. And Roger? I’ll gladly take five seconds of a severed horse’s head over the a grueling game of Russian roulette anytime! Man, that’s one sport that’s just plain awful tough to watch (and, in the context of Viet Nam, historically inaccurate to boot). I much preferred the Jane Fonda/Jon Voight returning vet drama, Coming Home, to this overrated bit of business (even though I’ll never, ever sign up for swimming lessons given by Bruce Dern, that I guarantee ya!…)

1979 – Kramer vs. Kramer: It’s Dustin Hoffman versus Meryl Streep for the custody of their young son – thankfully NOT played by Michael Richards – in this well-acted soap opera. I saw it on the big screen when it first came out, but don’t recall all that much about it except that I liked (not loved) it.

1980 – Ordinary People: Another soapy pic, only far more depressing than the previous year’s comparatively fun-filled custody battle. Still, I was happy to pay full price to sit in the dark and watch Mary Tyler Moore play an icy matriarch.

1981 – Chariots of Fire: Once, when we flying to a convention, headphones enabling one to listen to this, the movie that was being projected up front on the tiny silver screen, were being offered for a buck or two. Even though it had just won the big prize, I passed. Having heard the once inescapable Vangelis theme at least, oh, a hundred thousand times, give or take, I figured that about did it for me regarding this one .

1982 – Gandhi: This would seem to have a LOT going against it: it’s a sweeping epic biography, and it was viewed (via a rented video-tape) on the small screen a full half-dozen years after its release. Truth is, I found it very involving and surprisingly moving, with Ben Kingsley’s turn as the title character nothing short of unforgettable. As historical epics go, it’s high on MY list…

1983 – Terms of Endearment: Even without a Russian roulette contest, this rivals The Deer Hunter for the lowest position of all the films on this list that I’ve actually seen. I referred to a pair of films above as soap opera, as I would this one – save they were GOOD soap opera, and this one, well, not so good. A quarter of a century after leaving the theater, I don’t recall many of the story’s details, save for an overwhelming sense of annoyance at both Shirley Maclaine and Debra Winger. Y’know, I never understood the appeal of director Jim Brooks’s Broadcast News either, another vastly overpraised two hours of meandering plot. But he sure was good to Mary Richards (before she got all icy, natch…).

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1984 – Amadeus: I LOVE this movie! I wish I’d seen it on the big screen instead of on the tube (via Showtime). It’s funny, gaudy, dramatic, wonderfully acted – sort of like a Ken Russell flick that’s done right (though I DO love his Tommy…)! Who’da ever figured Tom Hulce, the kid from Animal House, to convincingly play a musical genius? Director Milos Forman, whose earlier film version of Hair was neither a popular nor a critical success (but is also much beloved by me after a single long ago viewing on Showtime), finally garnered some well-earned respect for this musically oriented quasi-biography. I’m betting daughter Julie would dig both these movies, as well as some of the others found on this list. Maybe we’ll watch Hair today, Gone With the Wind tomorrow?…

1985 – Out of Africa: Lynn and her mom went out to theater to see this one, but I opted to stay home. I’m not much of an outdoorsy guy, even when that means staying inside and merely WATCHING fresh air footage! I heard this was long, long, long, and that Robert Redford was pretending to be British, so no thanks. I don’t recall any real rave reviews when my wife got home, either. This one I’ll likely never see.

1986 – Platoon: The only thing that appeals to me less than a war film is a brutally realistic war film. I put the cap on my Viet Nam viewing with The Deer Hunter, and even though this HAD to’ve been a better film, I decided to steer clear. Even as big a Kubrick fan as I am, I’ve also avoided Full Metal Jacket. And Saving Private Ryan? All I had to do was read a review that declared the first twenty minutes of that particular movie to be nearly as harrowing as actually being in combat for me to ask the simple question, “And I would want to experience that WHY?…” So sorry, no Platoon for me – I’m much happier with my Sgt. Bilko and Gomer Pyle reruns!…

1987 – The Last Emperor: Reading descriptions of this sumptuously filmed tale of a three year old Chinese emperor, I can’t quite determine if I’d be dazzled by it – or totally bored? Seems like it could either way. If I ever get around to actually seeing it, I’ll be sure and let you know which way the pendulum swung…

1988 – Rain Man: This was one of those pre-baby video rentals Lynn and I watched in 1990, and probably my favorite of the three Dustin Hoffman starrers on this list (What? No Tootsie?..). Tom Cruise acquits himself quite nicely as well. Worth seeing at least once.

1989 – Driving Miss Daisy: Another entry in the “Waiting For Julie To Arrive” film festival, and this well-intentioned, stagy drama starring Morgan Freeman made for an interesting contrast to the Spike Lee “joints” we were renting during the same time period. Watching this not long after Do The Right Thing was a rather fascinating juxtaposition (and frankly, the latter film was the one that made the deeper impression…).
Then the baby arrived and the drought truly began. I’ve only seen ONE Best Picture winner since 1990 – and that was about six months ago – though several others are at our fingertips. And looking over this list at Wikipedia, I’ve determined that, out of the fifty nominated films up for the Oscar from 1980 through 1989 (and aren’t you way glad we’re NOT canvassing every single nominee? I sure am!…), I’ve seen exactly twenty-five. You don’t need to have Russell Crowe’s beautiful noggin to figure out that that’s fifty percent. However, of the eighty-five flicks in contention since 1990? Six (seven when we go see Little Miss Sunshine, which both Lynn and I want to see, and soon). Stay at home parents, that’s us. A quick look at the winners then during the littlest Hembeck’s lifetime…

1990 – Dances With Wolves: I prefer Kevin Costner when he’s playing baseball (Field of Dreams and Bull Durham are both favorites), but I’d probably be as likely to see Waterworld as I would this one…

1991 – The Silence of the Lambs: Oooo, scary – maybe TOO scary for me. But considering Julie recently talked me into watching Candyman, a film based on a Clive Barker (my first, Pinhead fans!), maybe, just maybe I could make it through this one as well. No snacking in front of the tube, though..

1992 – Unforgiven: Westerns don’t much appeal to me, pardner, so I reckon I’ll ride out into the sunset without ever giving this one a look see…

1993 – Schindler’s List – Okay, I really SHOULD see this one, it’s just that I find anything to do with the Holocaust to be a tremendous bummer – and it’s not like I need to be convinced it happened, y’know? Still, someday I’ll take a deep breath and screen this one. Haven’t set a date yet, though…

1994 – Forrest Gump: This one is not only the most recent movie on this list that I’ve actually seen, but it’s also the most recent movie on this list that I’ve actually seen, if you catch my drift – Julie’s friend Courtney suggested they rent it for a sleep-over last summer, and since it was week-long rental, Lynn and I checked out the tape a few days later. After watching it, I just couldn’t understand all the fuss – yes, it’s a good movie, but a great one? I really don’t think so. For one thing, it’s all over the place – it’s a comedy, it’s a tearjerker, it’s a docudrama, it’s a war movie, and the tone veers from being an ersatz episode of Gomer Pyle, USMC, to that of a doomed romance, and then back again! Tom Hanks is fine, but when it was all over, all I could think was, was THAT what people have been going nuts over for the last ten years? Nice soundtrack though…

1995 – Braveheart: There was a time when I would’ve named The Road Warrior among my very favorite movies of all time – I watched it over and over on Showtime – but I don’t think I’ve seen a Mel Gibson flick since that third, largely disappointing Mad Max entry hit the theaters. I have zippo interest in watching this one, and I assure you, the Jews had NOTHING whatsoever to do with my feeling that way (Lynn lets me watch whatever I want, bless her li’l heart….)!

1996 – The English Patient: I remember the clips of this that ran on the Oscar telecast as being really, really boring – and if THAT was the best they could do in trying to promote the flick to their coveted world-wide audience, well, I’m thinking even emptying bedpans might be preferable to sitting through the actual movie!

1997 – Titanic: We own a VHS copy of this film! Lynn went on a bit of an eBay buying splurge a couple years back, and she saw a copy of this for an extremely cheap price and quickly scarfed it up. The fact that we have yet to find the three plus hours in our not-really-all-that-busy schedules to actually watch it says something about both us AND the movie. Fact, I kinda forgot we had it until I went through this here list. I WOULD like to see it – preferably on the big screen, but that ship’s sailed, hasn’t it? Let me get back to you on this one as well, okay?…

1998 – Shakespeare in Love: Bard Lite! This looks like it could be fun – I’d be amenable to renting a DVD of it sometime. And after all, taking a peek at Gwyneth Paltrow’s thespian chops might not be such a bad idea – hopefully, this award winning actress can prove worthy of being the screen’s first Pepper Potts!

1999 – American Beauty: This is another one I was sorely tempted to go out and see, and only sloth – and some mixed reviews – kept me from the big screen. But it’s pretty high on my list for my next round of playing cinematic catch-up. Plus, here’s yet another example of an actor turning Oscar gold into funny book fame – Kevin Spacey IS Lex Luthor! Just like Award Winning Gene Hackman was before him!…

2000 – Gladiator: Nope. Not my cuppa.

2001 – A Beautiful Mind: I remember digging that great episode of Freaks and Geeks featuring a tense mathlete competition, but that’s about as far as I want to go with watching people do addition on either the big or little screens, sorry (unless of course Russell Crowe signs on as Happy Hogan to Gwyneth’s Pepper Potts – THEN I might reconsider…).

2002 – Chicago: A friend gave me his copy of Moulin Rouge awhile back (cuz I don’t think he liked it), but if this musical is half as enchanting as that one was (yeah, I dug it), I really owe it to myself to see it, don’t I? Consider it way up top the list…

2003 – The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. This bears some explaining. First off, I haven’t seen ANY of the three Rings movies. Second off, I have the extended 4 DVD box-sets of each in my possession (the ONLY films on this list that I own, though I ALMOST bought the double DVD of West Side Story when it came out last year). I’ve never read the source material, and I assure you I never will – that sort of fantasy has never appealed to me. The reason then that I have the three films is that wife Lynn DID read the trilogy (though a way long time ago now); the movies are supposed to be really, really good; and I waited for the extended versions to come out because I figured, if I’m gonna watch these, I might as well see EVERYTHING! While I knew I was losing something not seeing these on the big screen, by having all three chapters at my disposal concurrently, I wouldn’t have to wait a year in between entries – AND I could pause the DVD anytime I wanted to go tinkle and not miss a beat! However, daughter Julie saw parts of the second installment at a friends house one night, and decided then and there that she wanted nothing to do with our plans to watch them. That’s fine by me, but it also made me think twice about watching them with her around – when would we ever find three nights in a row when Julie would refrain from interrupting us for nearly four hours at a time? Can’t be done – trust me. But we’ve finally come up with a solution – if all goes as planned, Julie will be going off for a month long pre-college art course in another state this summer, and – ah ha! – THAT’S when I’ll finally learn if those cute little guys ever do find those rings! There’s only one sliver of controversy left, and maybe some of you folks out there can help me – Lynn wonders if we should perhaps just watch the versions as released to the theaters, figuring all the additional footage might drag down the pace of the films as intended, while I’M of the opinion, hey if I don’t watch all this extra stuff now, I ain’t NEVER gonna go back and sit through these cinematic endurance tests ever again! Opinions? (And please bear in mind, I prefer one that agree with me…)

2004 – Million Dollar Baby: More Clint Eastwood. A lady boxer. I hear there’s a surprise, bummer of an ending. Somehow, I’ve never stumbled upon the secret. Makes me a mite curious (don’t tell me – this ain’t an invitation to blab, people!), maybe even increasing the possibility I’ll see this one someday.

2005 – Crash: The Saturday after the Oscars last year, Lynn, Julie and I actually went out to see this, but the line at the multiplex was enormous, and Crash was already sold out for the evening, so we went home and watched a Three Stooges marathon instead! (No, not really – we DID head home, but I forget just exactly what we did after we got there…) Considering the mixed reviews this one got, I’ve been a bit ambivalent about whether I truly want to see it or not. Let’s give it a big solid “maybe” and be done with it, okay?…

2006 – The Departed: Y’know, I’m glad Scorsese FINALLY won the award, but the odds of me running out to see this (or rent it) aren’t very high. Funny thing, in a way – I saw Mean Streets, Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (the only Scorsese film to spawn a sitcom!!), New York, New York, and The Last Waltz all on the big screen, while I caught Raging Bull and King of Comedy on cable (no, somehow I’ve never managed to see Taxi Driver). I enjoyed each of those movies to varying degrees – Lynn, too – but after awhile, I kinda just tired of gangsters killing each other in as bloody a manner as possible, all the while swearing up an effin’ storm. For me, a little of that goes a long, long way. So, if I ever do check out another of Marty’s flicks, it’d most likely be the seemingly more genteel The Aviator, or the (personally) overlooked Taxi Driver, not this most recent opus. But hey, good for him – he truly deserved the award WHATEVER the quality of this latest film!

And now I’m FINALLY done with going through the entire list (thanks for the idea Roger – I think…), and what have I learned? Well, that only a precious few of my very favorite movies were ever voted Best Picture of the year by members of the Motion Picture Academy. Why is that? Well, looking over the group of films above, you’d have to agree that a vast majority could be at least categorized as better than average, but I really believe the quality of the work is secondary. I think what the Academy folks are TRULY voting for are the films that’ll give them the most prestige. Seriousness trumps entertainment value, simply put. Oh, it’s nice if a film has both, but whichever film is going to make the motion picture industry look best in the eyes of the world, THAT’S the one that gets the lion’s share of the votes. Sometimes those movies endure, sometimes they don’t. But truth is, I’d happily swap Elf for most of ’em! (Not to mention Bean, but most folks would find THAT concept just out and out demented, so forget I mentioned it, okay?…)

But Roger? Do see From Here To Eternity when you get the chance, okay? Just please, outta respect, DON’T scream “Look – there’s Superman!” when George Reeves comes on the screen, okay? The poor guy’s been through enough of that already, y’know? It’s enough to make you play a game of Russian roulette – with bullets in all the chambers…

And the Oscar goes to – Hembeck.com for Best Website To Never Mention A Wayans Brothers Movie Like Little Man! (Until now – oops…)

-Copyright 2007 Fred Hembeck

Take Me Home Blog #21: Son of THE PODCAST

Filed under: Take Me Home Blog — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:16 am
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Actor/Filmmaker Sam Jaeger takes the “Take Me Home Blog” into brand new territory by introducing the miracle of SOUND! Partake of the “Take Me Home Blog Podcast”… And maybe even hear Sam play guitar… Will there be no end to miracles?

EPISODE 2: The TAKE ME HOME podcast returns with discussion of the oft mentioned but rarely discussed film itself…

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #2 (MP3 format) ““ 7.75 MB

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-Sam Jaeger

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QSE News: 3/1/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:59 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Naomi Campbell apparently feels really bad for throwing a cell phone at her maid last year over a pair of missing pants. In Campbell’s defense, the missing pair of pants really went well with that red blouse.
  • Former Phish lead singer Trey Anastasio has pleaded not guilty to drug charges stemming from a December 15th run in with Ft. Edwards, NY police. Anastasio is confident of remaining a free man because, as he pointed out, “there are sooooo many drugs floating around in [his stomach], man, there ain’t no way the pigs can just isolate a single one.”
  • Everyone that attended Beyonce’s Valentine’s party should go see their doctor. Apparently, a member of Wolfgang Puck’s staff, the party responsible for catering the party, was recently diagnosed with Hepatitis A.  In similar news, those who attended Paris Hilton’s party may want to get checked for crabs.
  • The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is threatening YouTube with legal action if clips from this year’s Oscars are not taken down.  YouTube is expected to comply with the Academy’s request and have sent a message to users telling them that they will need to buy the Ellen: Season 1 DVD to get their fill of Ellen Degeneres not being funny.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/1/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:35 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • A rare Jetson‘s TV spot from its one-season run on ABC… (Thingamabob)
  • There’s always room for a drunk squirrel… (Thingamabob)
  • And, just because I feel like it today, “Chilly Down”… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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February 28, 2007

QSE News: 2/28/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:29 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Despite the fact that she’s been hanging with Tom Cruise, Victoria Beckham will not be joining the church of Scientology. The former Posh spice reportedly said “There’s no way I’d spend any money on that nonsense” when asked about the church. We here at QSE news would like to congratulate Mrs. Beckham on her firm stance, but would also like to warn her that when the evil Xenu returns to Earth, Mrs. Beckham is totally screwed.
  • In a shocking revelation, Britney Spears’s first husband, (you remember… the guy she was married to for 55 hours?  Yeah, him.) says that Britney has a drug problem.  This comes as a shock to many as the pop star has yet to display any of the crazy or erratic behavior associated with a severe drug problem. However, if she ever does, you’ll hear it here first.
  • This just in… Britney Spears DOES have a substance abuse problem!  How about that.  And it appears that our Brit was not content in merely checking into one, chintzy room at Malibu’s Promises Rehab center.  On the contrary, Britney has rented out an entire wing of the facility because, according to one nurse, she “wanted a room for each and every voice in her head.”
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 2/28/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:29 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Ever seen the Marx Bros. in color? Or Harpo out of costume? Take a look at this rare piece of color film shot during the production of Animal Crackers… (Thingamabob)
  • Something tells me that this is light years better than what JJ Abrams will do with Star Trek… (Thingamabob)
  • How could we have missed the latest episode of Jordan, Jesse GO!… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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February 27, 2007

Toybox: 3D Posters – Nightmare on Elm Street

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 1:11 am
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When Mcfarlane Toys announced their 3D posters, I was not impressed. They’d already started doing 3D album covers, and these were small, overpriced, and underwhelming. On top of that, other companies had already forayed into the world of 3D posters, and the results had been fairly weak.

But with the release of their Jaws and Friday the 13th posters, my opinion changed. First, they were much larger than I expected, running around 8.5″ wide and 12 – 13″ tall. Second, they managed to capture the best elements of the original posters in unique ways, making them more visually appealing than the originals in some ways. And third, at twenty bucks and the larger size, they weren’t a bad deal.

Since those two, they’ve released several others, including the uber-cool Alien poster (it even lights up!) and the nice Rocky Horror ‘lips’ poster. I’ve been sticking with the horror related ones, and recently bought the Nightmare On Elm Street.

Nightmare on Elm Street 3D poster

While the original poster doesn’t have quite the visual impact of, say, Alien or RHPS, it is still a solid piece of poster art. In exectuting this one, Mcfarlane diverged a bit from the previous style. Does it still work? Let’s see…

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Packaging – **
The packaging on past posters hasn’t been terrible, but has always been fairly basic. That’s alright though, especially if you give the box a huge window and let the poster itself do most of the selling. Once again, that’s the case.

Unfortunately, this box fails in a critical test. The window is right against the blades of the fingers, especially the ‘twinkle’ that’s been sculpted and attached in plastic on the end of the index finger. This is almost center in the window as well, where the box provides the least amount of support. Any hits against the front of the window, even light ones or extended pressure, can damage the ‘twinkle’ or the blades. Pay attention to this when picking yours out to ensure there’s no damage.

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Sculpting – ***
Like previous 3D posters released by McToys, this one has excellent sculpte details. The finely textured hair, the sinewy fingers of the hand, the rotted flesh of Freddy’s nightmare face…all are done with a deft hand for small detail work. They’ve also managed to pull of the ‘3D’ work extremely well, sculpting in relief about 80% of the actual poster art. The only parts not sculpted are the top section above Freddy’s eyes, and the lowest section showing the small credits.

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The best thing about this poster is the way they handled the nifty star of light that glints off Freddy’s index finger. They did this in a translucent white plastic, and the look really works much better than I had anticipated.

The poster itself had one major failing – the dopey expression on Nancy’s face. I always assumed she was sleeping with her eyes open – very open – and that’s why it seemed so much like a mannequin, even in the original poster. That’s also true here, and even more obvious in three dimensions. The bizarrely wide eyes with lax expression make the expression very unnatural. Like I said, I’m assuming that’s because she’s really a asleep, and you can’t really fault this representation of the poster for it, because the poster itself was identical.

Another flaw that existed in the original but is much more noticeable here is the thumb. Again, it’s just a little stub, which is true in the original work. But when you pull it out from the page like this, it becomes all that much more obvious and odd looking.

But if those two areas were my only complaints, this sculpt would have easily gotten another half star. The reason it didn’t isn’t because of the quality of the sculpt, but rather the changes to the basic design. The previous posters were encased in ‘boxes’, with four sides, which gave them a) more depth and b) more of a poster feel. This one lacks the outside box, which also makes the poster itself much thinner than the previous ones. This means that to stand it on a desk or table, they had to include the little feet. While this new look isn’t terrible, I prefer the original shadowbox design.

Paint – ***
The paint work is fairly good across the entire poster, with some really excellent work on both sets of eyes. Mcfarlane exhibits they’re usual capabilities with the consistent skin tones and garish exposed flesh, and when they’re necessary, they have very clean cuts between colors.

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There is one glaringly odd looking spot, right above Freddy’s left eye, where it looks like the white of the eye is actually on the flat section of poster, although the entire eye is in 3D below. This odd spot should have been filled in with color, and it’s surprisingly noticeable in person.

My only other complaint is that some of the highlights in the hair are too light, clearly where too much paint was rubbed off. They were going for three levels of color – natural dark, slightly lighter streaks, and very light streaks. It was an admirable attempt, but the lightest streaks ended up looking like mistakes or damage rather than streaks.

There’s one other item worth mentioning, but I didn’t factor it into my score, because the jury is still out on whether I like it or not. There is one section of text on the poster that actually follows the flow of the sculpted poster, rather than laying flat. That would be the name of the director, Wes Craven. This text actually flows with the rippling bed sheets, and I’m not sure if I prefer that, or one of the other options. They could have sculpted a section inset into the covers to paint it on flat, or they could have raised the letters above the covers (like they did the movie name) so that while they were raised, they were still flat from left to right. Like I said, I’m not sure which I prefer, but I thought I’d point it out to you so you’ll never be able to look at the poster again and not see it.

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Accessories – *
Okay, so there aren’t really any accessories as we generally think of them, and there really shouldn’t be any. That means this category won’t mean much come Overall score time. But I did want to mention the small feet that come with the poster. These attach to the bottom so it can stand on a table or desk. It’s best to insert the front of these into the bottom of the poster first, then snap them into place toward the back. They work alright, although they’re a bit tough to get off once they’re on.

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Value – ***
At around $20, these are actually a pretty good price. These will look good even in high end home theaters, and yet are cheap enough for a dorm room budget. In the distant future, when we all have flying cars and I’ve finally remodeled my basement, I plan on hanging them on the wall myself.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not much. Be sure to inspect the hand in case of any damage on the peg, but other than that you should be riding high.

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Overall – ***
I’m not as enthralled with this poster as I am with the previous three I’ve picked up – Jaws, Alien and Friday the 13th. This is largely due to the change in style, which doesn’t do much for me. Interestingly enough, from early production photos it looks like upcoming releases (like Rocky and Robocop) go back to the shadowbox design.

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This is a line that I’ll be picking up hit and miss, selecting those posters that translate the best or fit a general theme. I suspect that will be true for most buyers, and if you’re a huge fan of these films, I suggest taking a close look at them. Several of these also fit in well as backdrops to various sixth scale figures, and adding this poster to your Sideshow Freddy and Furnace diorama will really spice it up.

Where to buy –
Your local comic shop may have these in, but online is your most consistent opportunity:

– Dark Figures has the Alien, Friday the 13th and Jaws posters available for $25 each. They haven’t listed the NOES one yet.

– Entertainment Earth has them listed in stock at $25 each, with preorders up for the next three in the series.

– for the U.K. readers, Forbidden Planet is sell them for about 20 pounds each.

– Clark Toys is always a good source for all things Mcfarlane, but don’t have this particular poster in. However, they have pre-order pricing up for a number of upcoming posters at just $18 each!

– Amazing Toyz and CornerStoreComics have this guy in stock for just $20, with some of the earlier posters on sale even cheaper!

Related Links:
There’s my reviews of the Jaws and Friday the 13th posters from last year.

QSE News: 2/27/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:09 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • The movie classic Gone With the Wind is set to become the next movie to receive the Broadway musical treatment.  It is rumored that producers are courting Hugh Jackman to play the role of Rhett Butler.  In order to please Jackman’s comic book reading fan base, producers are also inserting a scene where Rhett eviscerates Scarlett O’Hara with his Adamantium claws.
  • The Beastie Boys are hitting the festival circuit this year with the first stop at the Sasquatch Festival in Washington. The group will perform hits from its entire catalog and promise to stay true to its roots by shouting the last word of every line.
  • A friend has come forward in defense of disgraced American Idol contestant, Barba Antonella, saying that the lewd pictures that recently appeared on the internet are not of the “singer.”  American Idol judges were quick to respond to the news with Randy Jackson saying that it “was too damn bad, because whoever that is, has one smokin’ [EXPLETIVE DELETED],” Paula Abdul stated that “purple fluffiness sounds like glue” and Simon Cowell stated that the news was irrelevant because “he prefers the subjects of his naughty pictures to be men.”
  • It appears that director James Cameron just reserved a special place for himself in hell”¦ at least, as far as many Christians are concerned. Cameron’s upcoming movie, a documentary he filmed for the Discovery Channel, apparently refutes the notion that Christ’s body spent three days at the site of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem’s Old City.  “On the contrary,” claims Cameron, “few people know this, but Christ’s body was actually found in a sunken luxury liner, 5,000 ft beneath the ocean.”
  • Singer Bobby Brown is back in jail and will remain there until he pays over $19,000 in child support fees. Brown was arrested while watching his daughter’s cheerleading competition. The “Welcome Home Bobby” party at Norfolk County jail will be held this Thursday during lunch time.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 2/27/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:03 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Bill Bailey on foreign police sirens… (Thingamabob)
  • Rich Hall improvises an ode to the British Rover on Top Gear… (Thingamabob)
  • Preston’s wonderfully catty walkout on Nevermind the Buzzcocks… (Thingamabob)
  • A little slice of the 2006 edition of The Big Fat Quiz of The Year… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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February 26, 2007

QSE News: 2/26/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:28 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • A former American Idol participant, Jennifer Hudson, won the best supporting actress Oscar for her role in Dreamgirls. With the win, American Idol has overtaken another media, film, and will soon begin an assault on coffee production.
  • In other awards news, Sharon Stone won the Razzie for Worst Actress of the year, for her role in Basic Instinct 2.  Stone’s vagina, which also appeared in the film, did not win an award.
  • Universal Pictures has announced that a third Fockers film will be made. This news makes official the widely held belief that Robert De Niro has completely given up on acting as an art form and is now just in it for the cash and the chicks.
  • Finally, and in continued Oscar news, Al Gore’s documentary film, An Inconvenient Truth, won the Oscar for Best Documentary. Despite Gore being announced the winner, George W. Bush accepted the award and promptly declared war on Bollywood.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 2/26/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:06 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • An early Chuck Jones directorial effort, Daffy Duck and the Dinosaur… (Thingamabob)
  • And finally, the opening to The Fall Guy… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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