FRED Entertainment

April 6, 2007

QSE News: 4/6/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:07 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgFirstly today, the classic game show The Price Is Right will soon have a different host for the first time in 35 years.  Insiders claim that the producers have narrowed their choice of host down to five people, including George Hamilton, Mario Lopez and Mark Steins.  Current host Bob Barker has announced his retirement from the program and is expected to tape his final show in June, at which point he “won’t give a flying [EXPLETIVE DELETED] whether or not you spay or neuter your animals.”
  • Actor George Clooney reportedly paid a local Tobaccoville, North Carolina girl $20 for a glass of lemonade from a make-shift stand. When asked about the star’s generosity, the little girl was overhead saying “A lousy [EXPLETIVE DELETED] $20? That’s all Mr. Big Shot movie actor could afford? I’m really glad now that I pissed in that pitcher.”
  • Michael Jackson is reportedly taking legal action to stop a proposed auction of Jackson family memorabilia.  The auction, which is set to take place next month in Las Vegas, is listing 1,100 items from the family including the gold record from Thriller and a hand written lyric sheet to the Jackson 5’s hit song “ABC.”  Jackson is most upset about several personal items that are to be in the auction, including his expansive collection of Under-roos, several bottles of candy flavored wine and his original nose.
  • In a recent poll by SFX Magazine, 3000 voters picked the film Serenity as the best sci-fi film of all time, beating out the juggernaut film Star Wars.  Fans of the Star Wars movie are crying foul about the poll, though, saying that it was unfair of the magazine to have people rank the films after a screening of The Phantom Menace.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/6/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:37 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Our own Widgett Walls makes quite a fascinating point about the state of comic book cover-dom… (Thingamabob)
  • How ’bout a little bit from The Dana Carvey Show? (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 5, 2007

Music For The Masses: 4/5/07

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:42 am
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Howdy, friends! It’s me, M.C. Did you miss me? I sure missed all of you. In fact, I was missing you more than Lance Armstrong misses his left nut. Okay, maybe not THAT much, but I did miss you and unlike Lance’s nut and more like a raging case of “hooker herpes,” I came back. “Back from what,” you ask? Why, back from a spring break filled with wild, exotic adventures and super hot babes”¦ assuming, of course, you substitute the terms “wild, exotic adventures” with “skiing” and “super hot babes” with “a Vaseline®-coated oven mit.” At any rate, I’m here and I’m dying to serve up another helping of Music for the Masses. This week, I check out the upcoming release from indie-fave and, because he knows Jenny Lewis, luckiest bastard alive, Bright Eyes and Double A falls in and out of love with the new one from Timbaland. Plus, R. Lee Ermey answers reader questions!! Sound like fun? Well, what do you say we find out?

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Bright Eyes

Album: Cassadaga

Sounds like: That one dream you had where Jeff Tweedy was giving Neil Young a hand job in the dirty rest room of an Arby’s while Emerson, Lake and Palmer played softly in the background. Oh, come on now”¦don’t act like you don’t remember THAT dream.

Question for you”¦any of you ever been to Nebraska? I mean, on purpose and not just on a dare or because the ONLY chick that would take you into her mouth went to school there? No? Well, don’t feel bad”¦I try to avoid that Godforsaken place and I live right next to the mother fucker. But hey, from what I hear, Nebraska is a rockin’, kick ass kind of place. *COUGH*

For instance, did you know that Nebraska is the birthplace of Kool-Aid® and it’s chief exports are natural gas, guys named “Chet,” soybeans, religious intolerance, “fear of change” and “Corno?”

corno 4-5-07

Yeah, baby”¦ ride that thing ’til it pops”¦

How about that the state flower is the Goldenrod and that the state motto is “Somebody Had To Eat It, Might As Well Have Been Dave?” No? Ever see a picture of Miss Nebraska?

m4m-model

Well, now you have.

Did you know that it’s against the law to sneeze, burp or fart in a Nebraska church? I shit you not. How about that they offer you the chance to have “The Beef State” emblazoned upon your “ILIKCOK” personalized license plate? Come on, now”¦I’m sure you’ve heard of their vaunted college football team, the Butt”¦ I mean, Corn Huskers?

husker 4-5-07

You hike it to me and I’ll take it deep to your tight end”¦

Okay”¦ how about the fact that Nebraska is the 16th largest state (in terms of square mileage) and has a population of 1,711,263 (as of 2000) with 1,711,261 of those people being certifiably “retarded” (the other 2 were just passing through the state at the time of the census on their way to Dubuque, IA). Seriously. According to Wikipedia, the governor of the fucking state is Corky from “Life Goes On”¦”

mayor 4-5-07

“I pledge to make Snak-Pak’s® the State Food!! YAY!!”

And you all know that Wikipedia is NEVER wrong. But, perhaps the most important thing about Nebraska is that it is the birthplace of Connor Oberst, or, as you may know him, lead singer and “creative force extraordinaire” behind the band Bright Eyes.

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Do not adjust your set”¦ he really is built like a “bobble-head” doll.

Now, contrary to the implication in the name, Bright Eyes is actually a band that consists, primarily, of Mr. Oberst on guitar, multi-instrumentalist/huge-cocked, uber-stud Mike Mogis and trumpet player Nate Walcot. Throw in some other artists/occasional sheep fuckers from the local, Omaha music scene (Jake Bellows on guitar, Anton Patzner on bass, Rachel Blumberg on drums and Kelsey Guerra on piano) to round things out and you have the Bright Eyes line-up that has brought you the seventh kick ass new studio disc, Cassadaga. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the title of the disc refers to a community of “mediums” in Florida. Thought you’d like to know.

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I can foresee your character “unearthing” a very large bone”¦

Now, for you fans keeping score at home, this album isn’t much of a departure from Bright Eye’s previous catalog and is right in line with his I’m Wide Awake/It’s Morning disc. A little “folksy,” a little “bluesy,” a little “rock-y” and a whole lotta good. Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fucking fix it. Know what I’m saying? Can you smell what I’m cooking? Of course, one thing I would have changed is Mr. Oberst’s, or as I like to call him, “Sparkle Tits,” penchant for starting off each disc with several minutes of random shit before actually getting to the music. Yeah”¦you can knock that shit off anytime now. Seriously, dude… I didn’t stea… I mean pick up this disc to hear some bullshit, transcendent artistic statement through interpretive noise. On the contrary, I picked it up to coax the co-ed living next to me with the dyed black hair, horned-rimmed glasses and blue and white stripped t-shirt to let me wear her like a feedbag.

The first “single,” if you can call it that because Sparkle Tits doesn’t release singles-he just makes songs “available to listen to,” “Four Winds,” with it’s blistering, anti-religious lyrics and simple melodies, proves out as one of the strongest tracks on the album. In fact, this is really all you need to gauge whether or not this disc is for you as the rest of the tracks follow suit. Long story short, if you dig that song, you’ll love this album more than Brad Delp loved to barbeque in the bathroom. If you hear the song and are instantly reminded of that obnoxious Poetry major that hung out at the coffee shop attracting all the chicks with his “emotion” and “wordiness” then. well, Linkin Park has a new one coming out soon so you better start saving up.

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Is it me or does he kinda look like K.D. Lang?

Overall, this is a tight piece of work from when of the best songwriters working today and if you give it a chance, I’m confident you’ll dig it. However, if you want more proof, bop on over to www.myspace.com/brighteyes and check some of the tracks out for yourself. Personally, I really like the moody “No One Would Riot For Less” with the hot-sounding back up singers. They make my naughty bits tingle. In fact, they’re tingling so much, I’m going to go now and have lusty sex with my new, mail order, Nebraska bride”¦

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Oh Timbaland, I hardly knew ye. I’m serious, I really don’t know what you’ve done in the past. I vaguely remember the stuff that you did a long time ago with the blind, cartoon curmudgeon Mr. Magoo, and I know you make a decent pair of boots. Wait, what? Timbaland worked with the rapper Magoo, not the cartoon character? Oh and it’s TimbeRland that makes the boots? My bad. Just about the only thing that I really know about Timbaland is that he’s one of the hottest producer around and that his new album, this here Shock Value, has been one of the most anticipated hip-hopish albums of this young year. So I decided that I would check into the hype of it all and see what the big deal was. Apparently the big deal is an assload of guest stars, and really not much else.

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Just about everyone who’s big in music today was brought onto this album to help flesh out the tracks. Justin Timberlake? Check. Fall Out Boy? Yup, they’re there. Elton John? That’s a big 10-4, sailor. But while some of the guests really help the songs, like the track “Time” featuring She Wants Revenge, a lot of the guests seem to hurt the potential of the song. The beats and the flow of the album is decent, and when Timbaland cuts lose, the songs are really entertaining. Unfortunately, right about the time he does cut lose is when the “guest” steps in to give the song a little push. That’s where things go wrong. The emphasis on this album seems to be about making a great dance album, and if that’s what you’re into, then you’ll probably love this album. For me though, not so much.

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From what I’ve heard, Timbaland is damn good at what he does, and that is putting out music that people will buy. I’m sure that people will really dig this album, but I really wanted more of a straight up rap album. I didn’t get that. Now I’m a bit upset that I did get the album. Maybe I’ll sell it to a high school girl by telling her it’s got Justin Timberlake all over it. I just need to make sure it really is a girl and not Chris Mathews from “To Catch A Predator” again. I’m really starting to hate that guy.

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10 QUESTIONS WITH”¦ R. LEE ERMEY

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You know, I have received a lot of pressure to do some interviews here at the site and, well, I gotta admit, I have DEFINITELY been entertaining the notion. Honestly, though? The thought of doing one makes me more nervous than a straight guy at a Scissor Sisters concert. I mean, what if I fuck something up or, even worse, ask some stupid, fucking questions? That would totally “Sanjaya””¦ by which I mean, “suck.” Fortunately, I have you, dear readers, and your never-ending stream of questions. So, what the fuck”¦ I’ll let you ask the questions and I’m going to let actor R. Lee Ermey give you the answers. Enjoy!

DarthBallSack24: One of my favorite bands is Bowling for Soup because they are from Texas and I am from Texas. Do you like Bowling for Soup? Do you like Pantera? If not, what band do you like?

R.L.E.: Holy dog shit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don’t look much like a steer to me, so that about narrows it down. Do you suck dicks? Are you a peter puffer?

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Bobloblaw32: Hey, R. Lee”¦I’m going to be married soon and I was wondering if you had any advice for what song we should play for the father/daughter dance?

R.L.E.: Your days of finger bangin’ Mary Jane Rotten Crotch through her pretty pink panties are OVER!!!

LarrysLongCableGuy: R. Lee yo. R U In 2 Fall Out Boi?

R.L.E.: Did your parents have any kids that lived? Boy I bet they regret that. You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece. What’s your name, scumbag? Lawrence? Lawrence of Arabia? That name sounds like royalty. You royalty? You suck dicks? I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose! I don’t like the name Lawrence. Only F*****s and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on your name’s Private Pyle!

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Mr_Nice_Gaius: Hey there, Mr. Ermey. Do you like R & B? I’ve always been partial to the smooth sounds of Macy Gray, myself.

R.L.E.: What’s your name, scumbag? From now on your name’s Private snowball. You like that name? Well, here’s one more thing you’ll like, Private Snowball. They don’t serve watermelon and fried chicken on a daily basis in my mess hall.

HalfVader03: Who would win in a fight between Clone Troopers, Star Fleet Academy or the Cylons?

R.L.E.: God has a hard on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the marine corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps!

BendersShinyAss: My dad says that Led Zeppelin is the best band ever but I think it’s Fall Out Boy. Which one of us is right?

R.L.E.: Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who’s the slimy communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker who just signed his own death warrant?

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1PwN3DJ00: Dear Mr. Lee Ermey. Is it right to make fun of those less fortunate than ourselves? I mean I know this guy and he smells because his family can’t afford to pay the water bill. So I call him “Stinky Mike.” Seriously, he smells like poop. So anyway, is that cool, or should I stop?

R.L.E.: I bet you’re the kinda of guy to fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around!

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“This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life.”

LeryJenkins2: Heya R. Lee, I’ve been thinking about converting to Buddhism. I’ve never really been into the whole Christian thing and I think those Buddhists have some really good ideas about life. What do you think?

R.L.E.: Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit! You goddamned communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I’m gonna stomp your guts out!

BillWestin76: Hey Mr. Ermey, I saw you in that movie. You know, the one where you played the gay guy. I thought that took a lot of guts.

R.L.E.: I’m gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin’ seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin’ grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!

ICutMyself: Dear Mr. Ermey. I cut myself. It’s the only way that I can let the darkness out. It’s the only thing that makes me feel good besides the new album from Fall Out Boy. I know it’s wrong, but I cant stop. What should I do?

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R.L.E: Were you born worthless, or did you have to work at it?

Real M.C.: Well, thanks for your time Mr. Ermey. Talk to you soon!

R.L.E.: Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!

UPCOMING RELEASES… 4/10/07

ARTIST

TITLE

GENRE

BLONDE REDHEAD 23 ALT
EXIES, THE A MODERN WAY OF LIVING WITH TH ALT
KARNIVOOL THEMATA ALT
LOVE OF DIAGRAMS MOSAIC ALT
SHEARWATER PALO SANTO (EXPANDED EDITION) ALT
WITCH S HAT MASTERY OF THE STEEL ALT
33MILES 33MILES N/A
HELLYEAH HELLYEAH N/A
NATHAN KEY PRINCIPLES N/A
PATTY, SANDI FALLING FORWARD N/A
SEPTEMBER CRY FOR YOU N/A
WONDER PETS WONDER PETS N/A
WOW WOW WORSHIP (BLUE) N/A
YOUNGS, JENNY OWEN BATTEN THE HATCHES N/A
CLIENT HEARTLAND POP
MIG Mig POP
VEIRS, LAURA SALTBREAKERS POP
KONU CoCo Shack RAP
MAD DOG The Next Chapter RAP
BROTHER ALI THE UNDISPUTED TRUTH RAP
CAP D RETURN OF THE RENEGADE RAP
A WEATHER FEATHER TEST ROCK
ARMY OF ME CITIZEN ROCK
BLESSTHEFALL HIS LAST WALK ROCK
BOOK OF KNOTS, THE TRAINEATER ROCK
BRIGHT EYES CASSADAGA ROCK
CLOUD CULT THE MEANING OF 8 ROCK
COCOROSIE THE ADVENTURES OF GHOSTHORSE A ROCK
GOLDRUSH THE HEART IS THE PLACE ROCK
GRINDERMAN GRINDERMAN ROCK
GUSTER Satellite Ep ROCK
LIMBECK LIMBECK ROCK
MORLIX, GURF DIAMONDS TO DUST ROCK
MYSTERY JETS DIAMONDS IN THE DARK ROCK
NEKROMANTIX LIFE IS A GRAVE AND I DIG IT ROCK
NEW ATLANTIC THE STREETS, THE SOUNDS, AND T ROCK
PANTHERS THE TRICK ROCK
POEM ROCKET INVASION! ROCK
RHYS, GRUFF CANDYLION ROCK
ROSEBUDS, THE NIGHT OF THE FURIES ROCK
WIESE, JOHN SOFT PUNK ROCK
XBXRX WARS ROCK
BENJAMINS, The Chronicles Of The Garden State POP
HACRIDE Amoeba POP
KOLDBORN The Uncanny Valley POP
MORS PRINCIPIUM EST Liberation = Termination POP
PRETTY THINGS, The The Pretty Things POP
RHODES, Lou Beloved One POP
SNEAKY PETE Anthology POP
SPIDEY No One Since Carol POP
VAN MORRISON Blowin’ Your Mind POP

Well… there you have it folks. Until next week… keep wearing it proud and playing it loud!

Send your blow-up fuck sheep, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

biker 4-5-07

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

Noctural Admissions: Movie Review – Grindhouse

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:51 am

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Grindhouse poster

Movie buffs often lose sight of this, but most people don’t know what’s going on in the cinema at any given moment. The public may be aware of a big, well-publicized film that everyone knows about, and they may have a vague notion of “that new movie with what’s his name in it,” but for them films are consumer items, used then disposed of.

This was brought home to me after seeing a screening of Grindhouse on Tuesday night and then running into someone and telling them excitedly that I just came from the film, only to have my auditor say, “What film is that?” They’d never heard of it. They weren’t aware, in fact, of any of the films opening the following Friday, nor of those that had opened in the previous weeks. The last movie this person had heard of opened last summer.

This incident rang an alarm bell. Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, and the Weinstein Company are betting that there is a form of waking nostalgia for an era and type of filmmaking that is otherwise viewed as maudit by arbiters of official culture. I wonder, however, how big the market is for such a film beyond the sort of cultists who crowd into auditoria at the ComicCon. The filmmakers haven’t help their cause by calling the resultant work, a faux double bill with trailers for non-existant (yet) films and various teasers, Grindhouse, which is misleading. Eddie Muller’s book on the subject makes it clear that the term refers to theaters specializing in softcore exploitation erotica and taboo topics. The film might have been more accurately called Drive-In, except that perhaps that title might too closely evoke the film’s unlikely inspiration, Stanley Donen’s Movie Movie.

What will get lost in all the ballyhoo about the correctness of the term’s use, the length of the two movies together (after cuts, the film comes to about three hours and 10 minutes) as a marketing impediment, the level of its financial success, and whether or not Tarantino’s film represents a aesthetically regressive move is the actual nature of Tarantino’s achievement. What he has done is replicate in feel, look, and tone an actual drive in movie from the 1970s such as Swinging Cheerleaders. But the level of the mimicry doesn’t end just in its overexposed shots or the chick banter. Tarantino has gone on to conceive of a plot that is just as odd as some of the better more experimental ’70s drive in films. I’m thinking of films such as the explicitly acknowledged Vanishing Point as well as Two-Lane Blacktop, very odd narratives (and on a side note does anyone doubt that the reticent friendship between the two men in Two-Lane is echoed decades later in the equally if differently marvelous Way of the Gun?).

Grindhouse fire

More about Death Proof in a moment. First there is Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez’s homage to Italian zombie movies and John Carpenter. This is a fine film, typical of some of Rodriguez’s earlier films such as The Faculty, which is multi-character driven suspense tales set at a rapid pace. Rodriguez does this sort of thing well, and though the film has funny parts it is not a parody or a satire on the genre, it is basically a straight zombie film. One feels like a curmudgeon for complaining that perhaps the film is set slightly below room temperature, that it could have enjoyed more sparkle and pizzazz. Planet Terror was mostly of interest to me because of Rose McGowan, whose remarkable face compels attention even when she isn’t the focus of the frame.

Grindhouse Rose

The fake trailers are also fun. Machete practically tells a whole story (one that sounds, oddly enough, a lot like Shooter). Werewolf Women of the SS looks exciting but there is a certain lack of clarity in the trailer. Don’t is funny, but only Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving really replicates a bad trailer for a bad movie, even down to the overuse of footage from just one or two scenes random scenes. The serial killer’s costume is subtly hilarious.

Grindhouse Kurt

Death Proof is probably going to strike most unsympathetic viewers as too talky and weird. The movie appears split in half, chronically two separate attacks by a car-wielding serial killer. But in fact it is using a variation on the Psycho effect. The real story is the second half; the first half is distracted by following a small group of really offensive people on a wild goose chase.

Grindhouse Ferlitas

That’s the other thing that unsympathetic viewers might find objectionable, that the group of three girls in the first half are mostly unpleasant. Sydney Tamiia Poitier as a careerist DJ is an unpleasant, self-absorbed, bossy “mean girl,” while Jordan Ladd’s character is a non-entity, a personality free follower. Only Vanessa Ferlito, set up as the “final girl,” has allure.

Grindhouse legs

It’s not that Tarantino gets these people wrong. On the contrary, he develops a whole world around them in just some 20 minutes. Their later interactions with and comments about Rose McGowan’s Pam, and vice versa, says a lot about the high school culture they all emerged from. But then the movie makes an abrupt plot turn; like the characters in Crash, the film’s serial killer has a thing for car wrecks. And then we have to compose ourselves and learn the dynamics of a whole new quartet of women.

But notice how different they are. As my colleague Kim Morgan has pointed out, Tarantino has laid out really precise differences between the two groups of women. In a sense, because of their hedonism and haughtiness, the first group deserved to die. Whereas the first group of girls were all about fucking hypergamously, to advance their careers or to get high or to sate their hedonism, the second group are professionals (two stunt women, a make up girl, and an actress) but mostly on a humbler tier, and their on set romances are realistic and comic (the actress’s boyfriend, a Rock lookalike, likes to watch her pee). These are nicer, more engaging women, and we don’t want to see them die.

Grindhouse Zoe

The point of the narrative thread is to get stunt woman Zoe in a death match with serial killer Stunt Man Mike. And it is one terrific car chase sequence. One of the best I’ve ever seen anyway. There are camera angles used here that you haven’t seen in a “car” scene since, say, Blowup, which, unpredictably, sets the gold standard on how to shoot a car in motion. Part of its power is that the car chase sequence is clearly mostly real and you admire its “redemption of physical reality.” This sequence is the “payoff” to average viewers for “enduring” all the talk. If Death Proof were a Roger Corman film, the rest of the movie would be window dressing built around this chase scene.

Grindhouse cars

But also note just how weird are all the things that have happened in this film, the strange way characters are introduced, the long seemingly pointless sequences. Note how close it is to a movie like Swinging Cheerleaders, and yet so far from it. When drive in movies were odd, it was because they were made in a hurry, or had budgetary problems, or because they were made by incompetent people, but occasionally it was because an occasional filmmaker, like a Larry Cohen, was using the relative

It should also be pointed out, because people might not notice this facet too amid all the hubbub, that Tarantino pulls a Soderbergh and acts as his own DP. This makes the framing and color tones of the shots doubly interesting. I doubt if he is going to be interview by American Cinematographer over this, so I’m guess that it is because he was having a hard time, or anticipated having a hard time explaining to a photographer just what he wanted in his film. You will also notice that the look of the film changes subtly between its first and second halves, the second part being more intentionally “polished,” another clue that the second group of girls is privileged by the filmmaker as worthy of life. In one shot, a Woody Allen Hannah and her Sisters shot set in a diner, you can see Stunt Man Mike in the background, at the counter eating something, but otherwise his presence is not indicated.

Grindhouse deleted

We’re probably going to get four DVDs out of this movie. A quick and dirty release this fall, with just one extra, a video interview with RR and Tarantino (and have you noticed how absent Rodriguez is from the publicity build up?), followed by a two disc special edition, and then each film sold on its own, perhaps with even more different extras, and with luck the full lapdance scene (there are two shots from the sequence in the second trailer). I welcome them all.

QSE News: 4/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:48 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgComic book writer Grant Morrison has been hired to write a film adaptation of the hit video game Area 51. Morrison says the plot will delve into the mysteries surrounding the top secret military installation and include several types of alien beings.  According to insiders, the aliens will have a classic yet eerie look to them, and will be based on actress Hilary Swank.
  • Actor Adam Sandler is set to star in a new Disney film called Bedtime Stories.  The film, about a man whose life gets weird when bedtime stories become real, is set to begin production this fall.  In related news, actor Rob Schnieder will finally get another job.
  • Halle Berry has received her own star on the Hollywood walk of fame. Berry became the 2,333rd celebrity to receive a star along the world famous walk way. Berry was scheduled to receive the star years ago but everyone felt that it was in the star’s best interest to wait until everyone forgot that she was in Catwoman, Swordfish, Bullworth, B*A*P*S, The Flinstones, Boomerang…
  • Country singer Billy Joe Shaver is wanted by Texas police for allegedly shooting a man in a parking lot. We at QSE are glad to finally see country stars taking it to the next level and proving that even though they are rich white people from the south, they can still start some shit.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:41 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • There’s nothing like a “Little Swee’pea” to make the week go by in a flash… (Thingamabob)
  • BBC America inserts their head head up their own ass and manage to import all the wrong “best of British television” they can get their hands on. If they knew what they were doing, it would be less Hollyoaks and Lead Balloon (sorry, Jack – love ya, but it was a shit version of Curb Your Enthusiasm) and more shows like QI, Black Books, Ideal, and such… But they’re not smart. (Thingamabob)
  • How do you even try to find out you can do this? (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 4, 2007

Party Favors: Grinding The Night Away

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:30 am
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TRIBECA – A movie that lists me as the Associate Producer is making the festival rounds. On April 14, Moving Midway will be playing the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, N.C.

I beg you fine citizens of Durham to not throw flowers at the screen when my name appears in the credits. It is hard to resist wanting to launch a bouquet of roses during such a beautiful moment. But I don’t want to make the rest of the filmmakers jealous at the love being shown just to me. Although polite applause is appreciated.

The other highlights of Full Frame should include D.A. Pennebaker showing Bob Dylan: 65: Revisited, Gonzo: The Life and Death of Hunter S. Thompson and the return of Martin Scorsese. Nothing tops the chance to chat with Albert Maysles. He has a few stories to share about Gimme Shelter. How close can you get to Hell’s Angel with a pool cue? Did Keith have his original blood that tour? Weren’t the Stones a better live act with Mick Taylor on guitar?

If you’re not in Durham and want to experience my name on the screen, pick up Shortbus. My name is listed with the Shortbusriders. I didn’t have anything to do with the production. Nor have I had any contact with director (and fellow army brat) John Cameron Mitchell.  This tribute to myself came from visiting the website. Don’t think you can spot me in the orgy room. That’s just an internet rumor. While there are no true small roles in films, if they aren’t shot in Cinemascope, my blossoming talent won’t fit. And in the privacy of your living room, feel free to throw flowers at my name.

WHERE’S PART 2?

Grindhouse is upon us. After all the hype and hysteria and dark tales from the ratings board, we’ll finally get to see what happens when Rodriguez and Tarantino team up for the fourth time.

But the troubling aspect of this project is that there’s no Grindhouse 2 in post-production eager to hit the theaters in late summer. How can Harvey and Bob hold back on greenlighting this into an instant series? Are they still stinging from Alien Love Triangle? Judging from the amount of crap that they’ve been dumping as exclusive rentals at Blockbuster, the brothers W need to crank out more than Prey 2. They need to start using the Grindhouse as a way to bring life back to escapist trash.

My suggestion is the follow up be done is a deep fried double feature follow up. The first film would pay tribute to the Legend of Boggy Creek series. Tribute might be too kind of a word. Those movies were the absolute pits for thrills and scares. If you have any fond memories of these movies, it better be because you got laid in the back of the station wagon while these borefests ruled the Drive-in.  My movie, Swamp Gas would be the more improved take on the swamp creature flicks. Three college kids are heading down to Florida for spring break when they take a detour to visit a roadside attraction dedicated to the Scubra, a half man, half nutria monster that supposedly roamed the nearby swamp. The boys continue on their way to spring break, but being a trio of losers decide to ditch being teased by drunk coed girls and return to the swamp. They want to have an adventure. They even hire a hot “Poke Salad Annie” gal to be their guide into the muck.  But things go insane when the boys discover various dark secrets about the Scubra. There’s scene where the Scubra attacks a Maxim shoot. Lots of muddy bikinis across the screen.

The second feature pays tribute to the greatest cine-trash genre: Women in jail. But not merely any jail, but a skanky, sweaty Southern jail. A sweet innocent girl on a bus trip out to see grandma gets stuck in a small Mayberry-esque town. She ends up getting lured into trouble by what she through was a fellow nice girl. She gets sentenced to the county work farm. Turns out that work on the farm isn’t meant to rehabilitate. It’s to sustain the local vice markets. No need to spell out too much of the plot other than group showers and cavity searches that will look even hotter on the DVD’s unrated cut. I want to make a women’s prison film that will harden Jess Franco’s nipples.

Don’t come see this doubleheader without a tanktop and a bottle of water. Cause the humidity is going to drip off the screen. And unlike Black Snake Moan these films will be Justin Timberlake-free!

NO LOVE

It would be nice if the Grindhouse guys would tip their hats a little bit more openly to Michael J. Weldon and his Psychotronic empire. For over 20 years, his Psychotronic Encyclopedia has been a sacred text for fans of cinema that doesn’t get shown during Oscar montages.

UNDERSTAND A PHRASE

When a sporting event claims to be “The Superbowl of….” that means the pre-game show lasts longer than the actual event.

LOOK AT US… A

This American Life on Showtime is captivating time on my TV. The show is kinda like a Errol Morris documentary except Ira Glass does the voiceover and there’s less talking straight to the camera. Maybe this show isn’t like an Errol Morris movie. Either way the show does a good job illustrating the tales previously told on NPR radio stations. The cloned bull has been my favorite episode – especially since it has scrotum damage. Ouch!!!

Ira Glass does come off as Mo Rocca’s cousin. These two need to take part in that Doppelganger project.

Maybe someday I’ll be able to tell the story of Anna and Ana to Ira. But I don’t know if America is ready for such a heartbreaking tale of summer weirdness.

COURT TV IS OUT OF ORDER

After attacking Court TV for running shows about lifeguards instead of trials, the channel has responded. By the end of the year, Court TV will be rebranded in order to “reflect” its new demographic. They want to attract a group called “real engagers” who enjoy watching “real-life stories and true characters.” Remember when a “real engager” was Johnny Depp as he tossed out rings to Winona Ryder and Sherilyn Fenn?

Basically the lack of a true freakish high profile court case and the rise of other channels that are willing to burn airtime on the celeb trials has destroyed Court TV’s audience. How many channels had live coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith corpse grab fiasco?

No word on what the folks at Time-Warner will call the “real engager” channel. My guess is Scalez! Cause that reflects the justice programming and yet is hip and now with that “z.” Or maybe Juztice TV.

REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS ANGRY?

Why is it disheartening to see Ice Cube in the Are We Done Yet? ads? Remember when he was a bad ass from Compton giving us the hood report? Remember when he joined Public Enemy on “Burn Hollywood Burn?” Ice Cube is now roasting in a film that screams, “Steve Martin was too busy to squirt this turd!”

SUGAR COATED LIES

Anyone else swallowing the study that kids today are being bombarded by ads for bad foods which is why they are fat? What? I’m shocked that kiddie TV programming is filled with ads for junk food. Why this has to be the first time in our nation’s history that this has happened.

Heaven forbid that the generation that contributed to this report remember that they were raised on sugar coated commercials. Does anyone recall how every cereal in the late ’60s was coated with “badness.” They didn’t merely have Sugar Crisp. That bear sold us Super Sugar Crisp.  Sugar Corn Pops, Sugar Smacks and Sugar Frosted Flakes were on the shelf. Visit theimaginaryworld.com/cbarch.html to see that today’s supermarket shelves are tame compared to the breakfast diet of decades ago. Fast Food ads have changed. Ronald McDonald pushes milk and apple slices to the active kiddies. There was no healthy foods being harvested in the old McDonaldland ads. And remember that the Grimace was evil back then. Junk foods sponsoring TV isn’t something that was launched while you pumped out your baby. Remember the Frito Bandito? He wasn’t stealing carrot sticks.

What’s sad is that these self-righteous scientists want to blame “junk food” for your kids, but they don’t seem to want to attack the “healthy food” that’s probably turning Junior into a blimp: corn. Check the labels and see how much of your drinks and foods contain corn syrup. When you were a kid, your soda didn’t have corn syrup. But now you’re sucking up corn like a heifer waiting for the first semi to the slaughterhouse. But where’s the publicity in attacking corn? Slinging mud at Spongebob gets you a few minutes with Katie Couric.

You know why your kids are fat? Because it’s not safe to let them outside. Fox News declares that rapists are lurking just outside your front porch ready to nab your child. If you let them play sports, odds are that a violent, drunk father will charge the wrestling mat and attack your kid. Dateline has let us know that it’s not safe to even let the kids go on the internet. What’s must you do to keep them safe? Put them on their asses in front of a TV set. If you want to avoid them from getting the “gimmes” for bad stuff, pick up DVDs of kid shows you enjoyed all those decades ago. There will be no marathon of ads interrupting H.R. Pufnsuf. If you want to keep your kids skinny, feed them gruel. It’s the secret of keeping a trim Oliver Twist shape.

What did happen to a generation that devoured Tutti-Fruiti Flavored Twinkles cereal? Where’s the science on them?

NEWS STUD FANTASIES

Did you know that the fastest growing fetish fiction involves Dateline reporter Chris Hansen? A lot of creepy folks are now sharing their daydreams about sneaking into a strange kitchen and discovering Chris Hansen. Most of the predator wannabes confess that they weren’t looking for a 13 year old girl that had emailed them on the internet. They knew that the fingers on the keys belonged to Hansen. Within a few minutes, the ties are off and they’re pouring Wesson oil all over their bodies and doing stuff that would upset Florence Henderson.

According to a news release from Glick University, Chris Hansen oriented homo-erotic fan fiction has passed Kirk and Spock beaming down each other.  Sources within NBC hint that Stone Phillips is jealous of Hansen’s lusty following.

STABLE BOY JR. SPEAKS

Here’s the lock pick for the Kentucky Derby: Bet on Scat Daddy to show – cause it just sounds dirty. Besides winning the Florida Derby, Scat Daddy was the biggest selling DVD of 2004 in Berlin. If only there were horses named Watersports Wonder and Cleveland Steamer, I’d have my Trifecta.

DORKS FROM THE EAST

Why is a marathon of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge the greatest way to zone out on a lazy evening? All my life, the teachers and pundits would ramble on about how smart the Japanese were. How they were so much better at math. How they were going to kick our lame American educated asses. But watching these hordes of Japanese folks get beaten senseless on a gameshow makes me feel just a little bit superior.

The episode where the contestants tried to compete in rubber monster outfits is my favorite. I nearly stopped breathing when the guy dressed as totem pole attempted to hop across a pond on rocks. Also the final challenge involved a group of Ultramen tossing boulders down a hill at the contestants. After a MXC marathon, I don’t need to completely fear the Japanese. I know that they can be stopped by having them charge head first through a locked door.

PREDICTION FOR RICKY

Now that Extras has wrapped up, what’s the next series for Ricky Gervais? I have a vision that he’ll create a show about a guy who does weekend road rallies in his Mini Cooper. It’ll focus on his dream of one day being able to actually finish a race. The comedy comes from his rivalry with his mother who actually wins on the circuit.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/4/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:37 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • The Max Fleischer Studios teach audiences about those new fangled sound pictures… (Thingamabob)
  • The heavens have opened up and deposited a new episode of Jordan, Jesse GO! upon a grateful humanity… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 3, 2007

QSE News: 4/4/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:48 pm
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgFox Television has cancelled its new show, The Wedding Bells, after only seven episodes.  The show, about a family of wedding planners, only managed to draw 4.5 million viewers during its run.  We here at QSE News want to condemn Fox for not giving this show the chance it deserved.  We never watched it, but we’re sure it was better than The War At Home.
  • Rock star and living skeleton Keith Richards has admitted to the British magazine NME that he once snorted the ashes of his cremated father.  According to Richards, he mixed the ashes with cocaine to make it more “palatable.”  When asked for comment, a relative of Richards stated that “it could have been worse.  I mean, he could have melted his dad in a spoon with some heroin and shot him into his [EXPLETIVE DELETED].”
  • A Swedish couple has failed in their attempt to name their new, baby girl “Metallica,” after their favorite heavy metal band.  Sweden’s tax agency, which is in charge of approving Swedish names, rejected the request because of its association with the band and because, as one official noted, “it’s an ugly name.”  However, the agency did give the couple permission to name their daughter after their second favorite metal act, Alabama Thunderpussy.
  • The TV show 7th Heaven will be airing its series finale on May 13th. The show, which is the longest running family drama on TV, centers around a Christian minister and his family dramas. Fans of the show are sad to see it leave the air but at the same time are a little relieved because the show hasn’t really been the same since the father/minister of the show sacrificed two if his daughters to Baal.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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SModcast 8

Filed under: SModcast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 8:00 am

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SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 8: The Entirely Too Over-Long Episode –

In which our heroes puzzle over the merits of Rich Little and Danny Gans, review a foreign ruler’s take on cinema, go on about Kev’s “Reaper” stint for awhile, discuss working for The Man, assess whether or not they’ve become whores, touch on what it’s like for Mos to be the Green Goblin’s kid’s henchman, talk about editing-for-hire on “Who’s Your Caddy?”, and wrap up about twenty minutes later than they should’ve.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 8 (MP3 format) – 89.57 MB

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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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Toy Box: Medicom Clonetrooper/Shadow Stormtrooper

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 2:38 am

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The Star Wars universe was just too big for any one company to handle (or so I assume George thought), and so the license has been shared over the last couple years between Sideshow and Medicom. Originally, Medicom figures were being marketed outside of the U.S., but the differences go deeper than that. While Sideshow has stuck with producing entirely none armored figures in their sixth scale series, leaving these for Medicom to handle. Just to add to the confusion, Sideshow also distributes for Medicom in the U.S. now

The two most recent Medicom figures to hit the streets are the Shadow Stormtrooper, and the Clonetrooper. Everybody knows what a clonetrooper is of course, but what in the name of all things holy is a ‘shadow’ trooper? Ah, that would be something from the old comic strips of the late 70’s, and they’ve also been known as ‘blackhole’ troopers. They’ve never made an appearance in any film, but you can’t argue with how cool the all black armor looks. I haven’t seen any 501st wearing this outfit yet, but I’m betting there will be plenty at SDCC this year.

Medicom figures aren’t cheap, and the fact that they are imported only makes things worse. You can expect to pay around $100 – $150 each for these guys, depending on the dealer.

Medicom Clonetrooper/Shadow Stormtrooper

Medicom already released a regular Stormtrooper last year, which I reviewed awhile back. They’ve focused largely on armored characters, like Darth Vader and the troopers, but also did a Jedi Luke early on. Jango and Boba Fett will be hitting this year as well.

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Packaging – ***1/2
Medicom makes boxes that excel in two ways – they’re very collector friendly, and they’re very compact. Collector friendly is the ability to take the figure out of the packaging, pose it around, display it for awhile, and then later return it to its box, without ever damaging it. Medicom does that beautifully, and there’s nothing you’ll need to rip, tear or even untie in freeing these guys from their little prisons.

The boxes are also quite compact, wasting as little space as possible. This is great for MIBers of course, and will save on storage space. It’s also great for the environment, as any card carrying tree hugger could tell you. Medicom hasn’t always been conservative in this area (just check out their Darth Vader for a huge, wasteful box), so it’s nice to see the change.

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Sculpting – ***1/2
If you own a regular Medicom Stormtrooper, then you own a Shadow trooper…just a really pale one.

The big difference here is the black armor of course, and the overall sculpt has the same pluses – and minuses – as the regular version. He’s a little short to be displayed with the Sideshow figures, but he fits in nicely with the previously released Vader. The hands are too small, but the rest of the scale and proportions on the body and helmet look very film accurate. The sculpt work on the cool armor is top notch, and it doesn’t restrict the ability to use all the excellent articulation underneath.

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The Clonetrooper is a big taller, and is actually big enough to fit in with some of the Sideshow figures. He’s only got about a half inch on the Stormtrooper, but it makes a huge difference in how he looks with the Sideshow stuff. He’s still a smidge short, but it’s not as big of an issue.

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Unfortunately, his armor does get in the way of his articulation big time. The armor looks good, but he isn’t going to be able to take any extreme poses. It’s those elbow and knee pads, don’t you know. I bet they were mighty uncomfortable for the actors to wear, too. If actors had actually worn any of it.

The helmet is also a smidge small for the body. For the helmet to be this small, he’d have to have one serious pinhead under there. It doesn’t look too bad for the average collector, but the more anal collectors are sure to notice the proportion issue.

Paint – ***1/2
Both figures exhibit extremely clean paint jobs, but of the pair I prefer the white Clonetrooper. The small detail work on the Shadow Trooper is great, including the eyes and grill of the helmet. But the shiney black appears slightly less consistent across the larger plastic pieces, making it a bit more toy like in appearance. The Clonetrooper may have issues in the other categories, but he takes this one by the smallest edge for me.

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It also helps that all his small detail spots are perfect as well. They work on the black areas of the armor is quite impressive, considering how easily it would be to have overspray or stray marks if the masking isn’t done perfectly.

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Articulation – Shadow ***1/2; Clonetrooper **1/2
The armor these guys wear is always going to restrict them somewhat, but the Shadow trooper, like his earlier white cousin, still manages to pose extremely well. He has all the joints you expect in a 12″ figure, and the Medicom body has made that step up to the next level, where the body ‘hangs’ in very natural ways.

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The Clonetrooper doesn’t quite have the same posing ability. It’s not because the underlying body is inferior, but rather that the armor is so restrictive around the elbows and knees, that he can only take very stiff arm and leg poses. It’s a bit unfortunate, because expectations have been set so high by the stormtroopers.

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Accessories – ***
Neither figure is packed to the gills with extras, but they have enough items to give you some display options.

Both figures come with the clear plastic Medicom display stands, and while these are attractive enough for displaying, you’ll be happy to know that neither are really necessary. You should be able to get these guys to stand for long periods in very convincing, life-like poses.

The also both come with extra hands. The Shadow comes with the same two as the regular Stormtrooper – blaster right hand, thumbs up left hand. The hands swap easily enough and are very sturdy, but they also have the same problem that the all white version has – they are way too small. This poor guy better hope the old rumor about hand size isn’t true.

The Shadow comes with two hands as well: one is the blaster holding right hand, while the other is a slightly different open left hand. It’s nice to see they just didn’t use the same poses as the standard Stormtrooper. Again, while the hands are too small, at least they swap easily and are unlikely to break in the process.

Finally, both figures come with their blasters. The old school blaster that comes with the Shadow trooper fits nicely in his leather holster, but it does seem a bit undersized to me. The older design (yet newer looking) blaster that comes with the Clonetrooper is larger, more rifle-like, and has an excellent sculpt. He has no holster to carry it, but it’s not the kind of thing you could toss in a holster anyway.

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Outfit – Shadow ****; Clonetrooper ***1/2
I’ve already mentioned quite a bit about the armor – the sculpting, paint and fit. But it’s worth mentioning again that these suits really do look quite amazing.

The Shadow Trooper has the same outfit as the white trooper of course, although his underlying body suit seems slightly lighter in color. This may only be a matter of perception though, since his is next to the much blacker armor, while his brethren has his next to the very white armor.

His suit under the armor is that same sort of rubbery material that we’ve seen with the other trooper, but the Clonetrooper went in a new direction. His suit is more like a standard stretch material, with an interesting light pattern of lighter and darker black stripes. It looks fine, although I’m not sure that it’s actually screen accurate. From more than a couple inches away you won’t even notice though, making it somewhat moot.

Fun Factor – ***
Both figures are very sturdy, with tight joints and solid construction. Kids COULD play with these, if you were insane, or you’d hit the lottery.

Value – **1/2
Ah, these are mighty sweet troopers. But you’re not getting any break for your cash though, and these are certainly selling for well above average. The plastic armor is going to drive up the cost over figures like Ghost Rider or X-men 3 Wolverine, but these are still slightly over what feels right. Get one at $120 and you’ll feel pretty good about it – down around $100 and you can add another half star to this score.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not much of anything. These are well built, nicely designed, and quite sturdy considering the cost. You might want to take some care with the soft leather holster on the Shadow trooper, but there’s no obvious issues you need to be aware of.

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Overall – Shadow ***1/2; Clonetrooper ***
It should be no real surprise that the Shadow version of the Stormtrooper scores as well as the very cool regular version. He’s a little short to be displayed with other 12″ scale figures, but he looks terrific with the Medicom figures. Oh, he has those itty bitty hands, and the blaster is a bit small, but these are minor complaints on what is otherwise a fantastic figure. Whether you prefer your troopers black or white is a personal decision.

Ah, but the Clonetrooper version isn’t quite as cool. The armor really limits the articulation, which makes is so much more difficult to get those natural, realistic poses. He’s stiffer, and a bit clunkier appearing, so while he’s good, he doesn’t quite hit the same level of trooper cool.

Still, these are the Medicom troopers are the best ever produced in sixth scale, making them awfully tough for the diehard collector to pass up.

Where to Buy –
ShopStarWars.com has these in at $130 each, but you may be able to find a better deal through ebay or one of the other smaller online stores that import Medicom products.

Related Links –
Other Medicom Star Wars reviews include:

– guest reviews of the VCD Yoda and Boba Fett.

– guest reviews of the ROTS Vader, Jedi Luke, and this very Trooper.

– and my review of their first release Darth Vader, along with the regular Stormtrooper.

QSE News: 4/3/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:37 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThree teenagers were injured early Sunday morning when unknown assailants opened fire on a crowd gathered outside of a Nickolodeon Kids Choice Awards after-party.  While no one has been arrested, police are pursuing leads including one eye-witness who swore that he heard two rap stars arguing about who was cooler, SpongeBob or Ben 10, shortly before the shots were fired.
  • It appears that Sting isn’t the only master of tantric sex in the music world.  Rapper/producer/liar Sean “Diddy” Combs recently told a London newspaper that he and his girlfriend, Kim Porter, had tantric sex for 30 hours while visiting Paris.  When asked for comment on the boast, a noticeably uncomfortable Porter stated “Yeah, we ain’t be doin’ that [EXPLETIVE DELETED] anymore. My va-jay feels like it walked from here to Tallahassee.”
  • Hollywood stars Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey had to be evacuated from the set of their new movie because of a poisonous jellyfish.  The pair were filming a scene in Australia when a Irukandji jellyfish was spotted near the set.  After the incident, a local man apologized for the incident, saying that it really wasn’t a jellyfish, he just got really excited seeing Hudson in a bikini.
  • The remains of actor James Doohan, better known as Scotty from the original Star Trek series, are set to be blasted into space.  Doohan’s ashes have been loaded onto a rocket that is set to take off later this month.  Friends and family were relieved when they were able to honor the first wishes of the actor who stipulated that if his ashes could not be sent into space, he wanted someone to “snort his ashes and [EXPLETIVE DELETED] a hooker in the [EXPLETIVE DELETED].”
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/3/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:03 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • I have to agree with Mark Evenier’s assessment – Pretty girls painting cels = a hit Disney picture… (Thingamabob)
  • Crow T. Robot stars in “Give ’em Hell, Blank”… (Thingamabob)
  • Alanis and a bittersweet tale of humps… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 2, 2007

The Art Of Travel Blog #1: Gonzo Filmmaking

Filed under: Art of Travel Blog,Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:46 am
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We are happy to present the exclusive web only trailer and first of seven behind the scenes webisodes of The Art of Travel. Each month, we’ll premiere a new webisode – and in-between, we’ll have biweekly blogs from the actors and filmmakers, plus cool image captures from the movie.

This story has been three years in the making, and shooting the film over 7 weeks in 5 countries was an adventure for the entire cast and crew.

No, The Art of Travel is not a documentary or the retelling of the bestselling philosophy book with the same title – It is the story of Conner Layne, a high school grad with a full ride to college who finds his plans interrupted by a life changing moment… a moment which becomes the spring board to a travel adventure that ultimately changes Conner’s hopes and dreams.

When setting out to make an independent feature film, it’s hard enough to convince agents, actors, and crew that the film in question will be a worthwhile endeavor. Now add the fact that our film would be shot entirely on location without many of the creature comforts that actors and crew members are accustomed to while making a film in Los Angeles – not to mention shooting in locations that many filmmakers would never set one foot inside – and you can understand what we were up against.

The common questions asked in pre-production were, “Will the actors have trailers?” Our reply, “No, but we’ll have a great big bus with air conditioning that they can rest in.” “What happens if the cameras break in the jungle?” Our reply, “What are the chances that both will go down at the same time?” The most common question, though, was, “Is it safe?” We’d look right in their eyes and not even finch one bit – “Of course it’s safe. What could possibly go wrong shooting in Nicaragua, Panama, Peru, and Bolivia that couldn’t go wrong shooting in Los Angeles?”

Yeah, we know. It even took us a while to believe that answer.

While watching the webisodes, I bet you end up asking yourself, “How did they pull this off?” The answer? Finding a talented group of people who believed in us and didn’t care about the answer to the questions above.

Salude from the Filmmakers!

Thomas Whelan
Brian LaBelle
Emyr G. Graciano
Christopher Kennedy Masterson

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THE ART OF TRAVEL TRAILER ““
Before you dive into the webisodes, check out the trailer for The Art of Travel…

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Download The Art of Travel Trailer:

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 28.04 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 11.63 MB)
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THE ART OF TRAVEL VIDEO BLOG #1: “Gonzo Filmmaking” ““
Dive into the process of pulling together the film, and the unique insanity of transporting a cast and crew into the wilds of Central America…

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Download The Art Of Travel Video Blog #1:

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 41.03 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 17.95 MB)
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Nocturnal Admissions: DVD Review – Beowulf

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:46 am
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One of the best DVD videos you are likely to see this year is a solo production of Beowulf. Yes, Beowulf.

Philip Larkin is reputed to have moaned a litany of the turgid works of English literature that he was forced to study in college, each more boring than its predecessor, in defiance of chronology and mounting sophistication, works from Beowulf to Paradise Lost. Today, in the popular imagination Beowulf is just a Woody Allen punch line. But once upon a time there was a thing called literature, then in its infancy. It dealt with the doings of great men, men the auditors of this “literature” were meant to admire, literature in those days being spoken, or rather sung, by roving scops, who were rewarded with food and shelter for their efforts. History was presumed to be scripted by great men doing great things, and their deeds needed recording so that the public could know how they got where they were now, and perhaps appreciate it. Though just as influenced by his Roman and Greek antecedents, Shakespeare surely, whether consciously or not, maintained the same vigilant scrutiny of the masters, it being easier to tell tales of mass appeal when the characters are “known” and their doings of vast importance. Over time, the masses were taught to read, it being believed that this would make them better employees. In the event, it increased their appetite for stories (and political change), and when the novel was the art form, it still told of the doings of the great. Eventually, the professors took over, and literature became a game, one designed to thwart the efforts of the dominant society to “inscribe” within the “text” the prevailing and imprisoning ideology. Thus taught, students of this new “literature” go on to write what they know, which is about seduction at the hands of their hypocritical professors.

Beowulf lies at the very birth of this literature as we know it, or at least once knew it. Though most people affect boredom with the poem, it has had a great and insinuating influence. Tolkien, for example, translated Beowulf (that’s where he got the noun Orcs), and its impact on the most popular film cycle so far of the 21st century is pronounced. Another contemporary fascinated by the text is Benjamin Bagby, a Medievalist and musician, whose musical ensemble, Sequentia, formed in 1977, recreates music from all periods of the pre-recording era. Starting in 1990, Bagby began mounting solo performances of Beowulf, accompanying himself on an Anglo-Saxon harp, a long, thin square of hollowed out wood with short strings attached.

Beowulf box

I know this is going to sound a little PBSy, but Bagby’s performance is amazing. He doesn’t read the poem, so much as sing it, to melodies that emerged to him over the course of his study of the work (the music can even change from performance to performance). Bagby’s voice is a beautiful instrument, capable of doing almost anything, and his interpretation of the poem inspires a wide range of emotions, but wistful romanticism to rage in battle. Bagby’s stated goal is to recreate the experience of the poem as medieval audiences might have from a traveling storyteller. Bagby is utterly engaging, despite the fact that he is sing-speaking a poem in an early form of English that sounds Scandanavian.

Bagby captures the masculine urgency otherwise invisible in the lines on the page. Following along with the subtitles, the viewer is dropped into the mead halls and battlefields via Bagby’s marvelous instruments, both the harp and his voice. Listening, one realizes how the TV show 24 gets it right. By concentrating on the doings, both nefarious and well-meaning, of our leaders, their court battles and their power jockeying retinues, the show’s creators have made a suspenseful show that in essence harks back to the concerns of the theatrical literature from the Greeks to Shakespeare.

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Beowulf captures on video Bagby’s performance of the poem in a Swedish culture center. Sitting the whole time, his harp on his left thigh, a subtly lighted blue curtain behind him, the full emphasis of the show falls on Bagby’s voice and facial expressions. which carry us powerfully through the narrative, indeed making us see that it is powerful. It’s one huge song. You may not understand the words, but then, how many songs have you heard on the radio without understanding the words?

Beo chat

This disc from Koch Lorber, which hit the street February 13th for $29.95, comes with two extras, each about 20 minutes long, neither of which explain how Bagby fell in love with Beowulf. In the first, Bagby is joined in a bookstore called the Poet’s House in New York, by three scholars, Mark Amodio Vassar, John Miles Foley of the University of Missouri, and Thomas Cable of the University of Texas, who served as a close advisor to Bagby in his creation of the stage show. They discuss the likely genesis and history of the poem, Cable guessing that it might have been written down by a monk remembering performances from his youth.

In the second extra, Bagby attempts to answer the difficult question of how he comes up with the music and melody of his piece. In the end, it is unanswerable because it is so embedded in his process, but he at least does go into detail about the structure and unusual facets of his harp.

QSE News: 4/2/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:17 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThe Will Ferrell vehicle Blade of Glory was number one at the box office this past weekend, raking in more than $30 million. The film’s originality and success will surely spawn a number of copycat films in which downtrodden athletes battle against the odds to become champions.
  • Cillian Murphy has joined the cast of the upcoming film The Best Time of Our Lives. Murphy will star alongside Keira Knightley, Matthew Rhys and Lindsay Lohan. The film will begin shooting later this year after Lohan has “the best time of her life” leading to another rehab stint.
  • In other casting news, actor Luke Goss has been cast in Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. The casting of Goss came as a complete surprise to many as no one is quite sure who Luke Goss is.
  • Director Richard Donner is teaming up with comic writer Geoff Johns to create a comic sequel to the hit movie The Goonies. The book with follow the young adventurers as they search for the lost career of Corey Feldman.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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April 1, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/2/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:55 pm
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Sid Caesar, Carl Reiner, & Howie Morris… (Thingamabob)
  • Ricky Gervais meets Garry Shandling – the highlights… (Thingamabob)
  • Where are my It’s Garry Shandling’s Show DVDs????… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 30, 2007

Comics in Context #171: New York 2007 – Bullpen Bulletins

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 3:06 am
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SATURDAY, FEB. 24, 4:16 PM
cic2007-03-30-01.jpg There I was in Room 1E12/13 at the Jacob Javits Convention Center, waiting for the next panel at the New York Comic-Con to start: “NYCC’s Behind the Panels: The 60s Marvel Bullpen.” The panel was supposed to have begun at 4 PM, but for fifteen minutes I’ve been watching people milling about on the right side of the hall.

Finally, at 4:16 PM Stan Lee himself, Marvel’s editor in chief and head writer in the 1960s, took charge and commanded that the panel begin.

Moderator Adam McGovern of TwoMorrows Publishing introduced what he called a “very distinguished panel” comprised of members of the Marvel “Bullpen” of the 1960s, “a critical mass that changed comics history.”

First McGovern introduced Marvel senior editor Ralph Macchio, whom he called a “link from the first Marvel Age to the present.” Well, that was actually a bit of a stretch. Ralph started at Marvel in 1976, when Stan Lee was still based in the New York offices, but in the role of publisher, having ceded the post of editor in chief back in 1972. So Ralph wasn’t part of Marvel’s Silver Age revolution of the 1960s; during that decade he was a fan reading Marvel comics just like other Boomers who later became comics pros. He was one of the first Boomers to join Marvel editorial, and now he’s virtually their Last Boomer standing.

Next McGovern introduced the great inker of Jack Kirby’s Fantastic Four art, Joe Sinnott. Stan pointed to Sinnott, and the audience applauded. Then McGovern presented Gene Colan, the Silver Age artist of Daredevil, Iron Man, Sub-Mariner and more, sitting down at the end of the table, and there was tumultuous applause. McGovern praised Colan as “the painterly genius” and “master of moods.” McGovern then turned to Stan’s secretary in the Sixties, “Fabulous” Flo Steinberg, who endures at Marvel as a part-time proofreader. Stan, sitting between Flo and Joe, pointed to her and applause burst forth once more.

Finally, McGovern said, there was “a man who needs no introduction.”

“They always say that!” exclaimed Stan the Showman, enacting his comedic public persona. “For once just give me an introduction!”

After complying with Mr. Lee’s request, McGovern attempted to open a discussion about working at Marvel in the 1960s, and noted that Colan had come to the company “from other places.”

“Makes you sound very mysterious, Gene,” commented Lee. “‘Came from other places,'” Stan repeated ominously.

But Colan’s ability to respond was handicapped by his lack of a microphone down at his end of the long table. Ever practical, Stan solved the dilemma by giving Ms. Steinberg’s microphone to Colan. “You have nothing to say anyway,” Stan assured Flo. Then Mr. Lee advised the audience to pay attention to Colan: “When this guy talks, the world listens.”

Colan explained to the audience that he thought comics would be a “great place to be,” and that he was “very influenced by film” in drawing comics. “I don’t know where I’d be if not for Stan,” Colan said.

“Probably rich and famous,” speculated Mr. Lee.

Stan wasn’t being serious, but Colan was. “Other people couldn’t see what I could do,” Colan continued. “Stan could,” he told us, and “gave me my break.” The audience was very still, intently listening to Colan’s quiet voice.

“See,” Stan commented, “the big thing is, we got “˜im because he worked cheap.”

Taking this in stride, Colan told us, “Stan always reminded me of Jack Lemmon.”

“He always compares me to dead people!” Stan exclaimed in mock protest.

“I told him that when he”–meaning Lemmon–“was alive,” Colan informed the audience, explaining that Stan had the same “energy” that one sees in Lemmon’s performances.

As if waving Colan’s compliments aside, Lee declared, “Joe Sinnott’s dying here,” thinking that “they’ll never get to me.” But then Lee went on to extol the cinematic aspect of Colan’s artwork. “Every strip he drew was a storyboard,” Lee said, meaning that it looked like a shot-by-shot breakdown for a film. “He viewed all of his artwork as if it was a movie.”

But Stan did not stay serious for long. “Joe Sinnott, on the other hand,” he continued, is “a man of little talent and great charm.” Lest anyone take that at face value, Lee quickly added that Sinnott was a “great inker” and “also a great penciler,” but, shifting back into facetiousness, “we didn’t tell anyone because Kirby would get jealous.”

Sinnott also made his gratitude to Lee plain, telling the audience “I’ve been working for Stan for fifty-three years.” (It would be more precise to say that Sinnott has worked for Marvel all those years, but Stan Lee was either editor or publisher for most of that time.) Sinnott told us that he once worked in the cement industry and “if not for Stan, I’d still be there.”

Once again, Lee resorted to what seems to be one of his favorite lines: “What they don’t realize is these people worked cheap.”

“Don’t believe that,” Sinnott instructed the audience. Then Sinnott began, “You could almost expect when Stan was going to give you a raise. . . .”

Before Sinnott could expose him as a generous man, Stan hurriedly changed the subject and turned to Ralph. “We’ve got a Johnny-come-lately” on the panel, Stan said, claiming that Ralph was just “out of his teens” and yet had ended up “on an old-timers’ panel.”

Ralph told Stan he had actually started at Marvel in the 1970s, taking Mr. Lee somewhat aback. Then Ralph started reminiscing about the days when Lee was still based in Marvel’s New York offices, and took obvious pleasure in recounting a time when he heard Lee sharply criticizing a certain Marvel writer/editor of that time.

“This is great for me,” Stan said happily, “because I have no memory!” He told us “I’m learning” things about his own past just by being there.

Then Ralph too voiced his gratitude to Stan, recalling how Lee “would call me into the office, and since I was the new kid. . . He would sit down on the couch with me like there was no one else in the world and for twenty minutes he’d show me” how to do “word balloon placement.” Macchio summed up, “There was energy there working with Stan that you couldn’t deny.”

“He was the only guy who would listen,” explained Stan. “He was the new kid.”

Then Mr. Lee turned to Ms. Steinberg. “It’s Flo’s turn. I have no idea what she’s doing here.” Then, referring to times past, he added, “I don’t know what you were doing there.”

Flo, however, can see right through Stan’s act. “Working at Marvel was SUPER,” she told the audience, audibly putting the word in capital letters. As for Stan, she assured us, “He was a joker, too.”

“She means the villain,” noted Stan.

As for the differences between Marvel Then and Marvel Now, Flo wisely observed that in the 1960s Marvel “wasn’t the corporate place it is now,” and that it “had a greater sense d’estime,” slipping into French.

“She was Fabulous Flo,” Lee said. “What were you, Ralph?”

“Reliable Ralph,” Macchio responded.

“We could’ve gotten you something better than that,” Stan responded.

Turning back to the subject of Flo, Lee told us that “we thought at first Flo was putting on an act.” He recalled that once she was all upset, and it turned out that it was because the office had run out of staples. “You can’t find anyone like that! She cared!”

Joe Sinnott added that it was a pleasure dealing with Flo over the phone: she “had the sweetest voice when she called.”

“You were never mean,” Lee told Flo onstage, setting her up for another gag. “You were wrong often, but never mean.”

On the other hand, Stan claimed “I was scared of Gene.” More precisely, “If I wanted to make a correction, I was scared to criticize Gene, because he took it so seriously:  ‘Do you mean a hand has to have five fingers?'”

Commenting on the way the panelists were interacting, moderator McGovern remarked, “It was a family then and a family today.”

Shortly afterwards, Flo mentioned “little MMMS,” the company’s in-house fan club in the 1960s, the Merry Marvel Marching Society.

“Small MMMS!?” retorted Stan, as if insulted. Referring to the club’s theme music, he maintained, “It was a great song.”

“Every morning before work we’d sing,” Flo told the audience, being something of a joker herself.

“You think we forgot?” asked Stan, who then, as he had on his panel the previous day, launched into singing the Merry Marvel Marching Society anthem. The audience clapped along, merrily and marvelously. Then, when Stan finished, he apologized, “Excuse me, I should have stood up when I sung it.”

Then Lee was asked about the time that the great Italian film director Federico Fellini (8 1/2, La Dolce Vita) dropped by the Marvel offices in the 1960s. According to Stan, his receptionist told him, “Stan, there’s a Fred Felony to see you.”

“Nobody ever visited me,” Lee told us. “I’d see anybody.”

When Lee saw Fellini, “All of a sudden I recognized him.” Fellini wasn’t alone: “he had four other associates with him,” Stan said. Moreover, “They were in descending order of height,” with Fellini, in the lead, as the “tallest.” Stan continued, “And they were all in black raincoats.” Fellini had his over his shoulder. Though Lee did not say so, this was clearly a Felliniesque sight. “I have no idea what he wanted. He had a thick accent,” explained Lee. “But apparently he was a fan. I wanted to talk about him, but there was no way I could communicate with him!”

The moderator asked Lee, “Didn’t you work with famous film directors?’

“Oh, yes,” joked Lee. “They wouldn’t make a movie without me.”

Actually, Lee did work with one famous foreign filmmaker back then: Alain Resnais, a member of the French New Wave, and the director of Hiroshima, Mon Amour (1959) and Last Year at Marienbad (1961). If you’ve seen either film you will find it hard to believe that Lee and Resnais have much in common aesthetically. But, as Lee told us, “Alain Resnais wanted me to write his first English language movie.” Moreover, “He said he had read Spider-Man for years.” Lee explained, “I wasn’t going to say no. It was very flattering.”

So Stan, who was then inexperienced in movies, wrote a screenplay, and, he told us, “it wasn’t very good”: “it was 120 pages filled with dialogue.” Still, a producer was interested, but wanted the dialogue pruned down. Stan said he would have been willing to do it, but “My idiot friend Alain said, “˜Stan will not cut a word of it.'”

And so Lee and Resnais never sold the project. “If that nut had let me cut it, I might be someone famous!” lamented Lee.

Then the moderator inquired how the comics business had changed since the old days. “The most gratifying thing,” Ralph Macchio responded, “is to see it [Marvel] penetrate popular culture.” He explained, “The things we enjoyed when we were kids are now billion-dollar franchises, and that’s due to Stan.”

As he had done at his Friday panel, Lee again shared credit with the artists he worked with. “Believe me, Marvel is not a one-man show.” Then he added, “Oh, maybe I was the greatest.”

In that sweet voice Joe Sinnott had so commended, Flo Steinberg quietly observed, “Stan was always very modest.”

Then Lee praised two of those 1960s artists who were right there with him, Colan and Sinnott. “They have style,” Lee said. “That’s not easy to achieve. You may not like it when you see it, but you recognize it.”

Lee continued, “Flo, on the other hand, doesn’t write, doesn’t draw. What is it you’re doing here?” But soon thereafter, with a touch of hyperbole, Stan acknowledged Flo’s secretarial prowess: “She practically ran the company!”

Flo, who is indeed a modest, self-deprecating person, said she felt “humble.”

“A quality I will never understand,” commented Stan.

Called upon to reminisce, Flo said she would “try to think of a funny story.”

“You’ve never thought of one all these years,” Stan replied. “Why start now?”

So Ralph told a story that demonstrated what Flo meant to comics fans in the 1960s. He recalled that as a kid he was puzzled over Thor’s inability to smash a goblet with his hammer in a Tales of Asgard story. “I was determined to find the answer. So I called up Marvel and talked to Flo, who told me that in Asgard, everything was enchanted,” so that’s why Thor’s enchanted hammer couldn’t smash the enchanted goblet. “I was totally satisfied,” declared Ralph, who was easily pleased back then.

Having listened to all this, Stan the Man pronounced his judgment: “Ralph is obviously a survivor. The thing is, nobody knows what he does.” On these two points, Stan Lee, Marvel’s All-Knowing All-Father, is absolutely correct.

On numerous occasions other comics pros have asked me about just these subjects. What does Ralph do? I have no idea. Why is Ralph still at Marvel? Beats the heck out of me. And yet he survives and prospers, invulnerable to all the upheavals and downsizings that claimed so many of his contemporaries. It’s like the way that Inspector Clouseau escapes all those assassination attempts through seeming strokes of sheer luck. Maybe it’s because he and Stan share the same birthday.

Years ago Ralph used to be nicknamed “K. D.” for “Kiss of Death,” inasmuch as during his long, seemingly interminable apprenticeship as an assistant editor, every one of the editors he worked for got canned. Then Ralph finally got promoted to editor, and since then, virtually everyone of his generation at Marvel got canned. It’s as if he’s safe at the eye of the hurricane, which wipes out everyone around him. It reminds me of I, Claudius. (I don’t have time or space to explain the reference to those of you whose idea of serious literature extends no further than The Dark Tower; look it up.) All we have to do to end the war on terror is to get Ralph a job with Osama bin Laden, maybe as editor of Ultimate Jihad. Within a few years, Ralph would be the only person left in Al Qaeda.

Inspired by Ralph’s anecdote about Thor’s hammer, Stan commenced a brief lecture. “People don’t realize how scientific Marvel is,” he began.

“Superman has no visible means of propulsion,” Stan pointed out. “Even a bird flaps his wings.” So how does Superman manage to fly?

In contrast, Stan continued, at Marvel “we want to be scientifically accurate.” He wanted Thor to be able to fly, so “We gave him the enchanted hammer Mjolnir,” Stan said, pronouncing the name carefully.

Stan instructed us to observe how “authentic and scientific” Marvel was in explaining how Thor could fly. Thor’s hammer, he pointed out, has a strap that fits around the thunder god’s wrist. So “Thor whips the hammer” around above his head, building up momentum, and then hurls it into the air. And because the strap is attached to Thor’s wrist, the hammer pulls Thor up into the air as well.

“Nobody can say that isn’t scientifically sound,” proclaimed Mr. Lee. And then, quietly, he added, “That’s just a small example of the difference between DC and Marvel.”

This was Stan the Showman with the audience in the palm of his hand. Of course Stan’ explanation of how Thor can actually fly is utter nonsense. We know it, but Stan also knows it, he knows we know it, and we know he knows we know it! As he said on Friday, part of Marvel’s appeal was that it was like an inside joke that we all shared. And Stan’s explanation, scientifically unsound though it may be, still has more surface credibility than Superman just going “Up, up and away!”

And Stan basically won the war with DC Comics decades ago, and DC adopted the innovations Stan had pioneered at Marvel. But the good-humored pleasure that Stan takes in poking fun at DC the way he used to back in the Sixties is infectious, and the audience just ate it up.

When the moderator asked for questions from the audience, the first questioner surely spoke for everyone there. Referring to another groundbreaking team of the 1960s, he said, “We’re not going to get a chance to meet the Beatles”–not all of them, anyway–“or thank them.” So then he thanked the people on stage for their contributions to comics.

There was a little boy in the question line who asked that classic fan question, “Who’s stronger–Thor or the Hulk?” I suspect this lad had been prompted by an adult Marvel fan.

Stan turned the question over to Gene Colan, “and he’s not going to give you a hastily considered answer.”

Colan responded rather philosophically, “Whoever thinks he’s stronger is stronger.”

Impressed, Stan commented, “You know, Sophocles couldn’t have given a better answer.” I think Stan meant Socrates, but at least here’s proof that Frank Miller isn’t the only comics pro who knows classic Greek literature. (Oh, all right, there’s Roy Thomas and Eric Shanower, too.)

Nonetheless, Stan delivered his own judgment in favor of Thor, because “Thor’s a god.”

Then the small boy asked if he could have Stan autograph his T-shirt. The Man assented, and the boy went up on stage. “And he’ll remember this moment for at least another hour,” Stan noted.

Signing away, Stan worried aloud that “I’ll ruin your short, your mother’s going to kill me, and I’ll give you my lawyer’s address.” There you have it: the Master had turned the signing of a T-shirt into a three-act drama, with suspense, symbolic death and rebirth, and a happy ending.

The tyke’s less than fifteen minutes of stardom completed, Stan sent the lad on his way, bidding him, “Don’t let the fame go to your head!”

And the panel turned to another question, about how to “revitalize characters.”

Stan passed the buck to Joe Sinnott: “Joe is so desperate to answer that question.”

“I wasn’t even listening,” replied Sinnott.

“That’s what he used to say when I gave him instructions,” commented Stan. And so the Bullpen panel memorably went.

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SATURDAY, FEB. 23, 5:30 PM

Originally I was supposed to do a signing for Marvel Encyclopedia and X-Men: The Ultimate Guide at the DK Publishing booth at mid-afternoon on Saturday, and moderate a Golden and Silver Age panel at 5 PM. Then, on Friday, I was asked to moderate the “80s Superhero Renaissance” panel at 2 PM instead. So, with the blessings of the good people at DK, I rearranged my schedule. And if you’ve been reading my con reports you know that I ended up being the only panel member on stage for a half hour because the organizers forgot to tell the other panelists to show up!

So now I was doing my DK signing at an off-peak time, from 5:30 to 7 PM Saturday evening, when presumably people are heading out to dinner. Not only that, but the convention had assigned DK a space towards the back of the hall, away from the main routes of customer traffic. Still, I was kept busy enough when I started this signing session.

I’ve found I quite enjoy doing signings: not only do I get to feel like a minor celebrity for a little while, but it’s also relaxing in comparison to moderating panels, reporting or them, or just trying to get through a crowded convention floor.

I also enjoy the company at the DK booths, which, apart from a gent or two, are invariably entirely staffed by friendly, charming and attractive ladies. It’s sort of like John Byrne’s LexCorp in his Superman books, but benign.

When you’re sitting at a booth, the rest of the convention tends to pass by before you. So, for example, former Marvelites Glenn Herdling (see “Comics in Context” #150) and Steve Geiger stopped by, and we got to chat about that perennial topic, Marvel Then and Marvel Now.

Despite the wintry temperatures outdoors, the convention floor had been so crowded all afternoon that it was getting downright hot. This, however, was a perfect temperature for Princess Leia, who walked past wearing her slave girl costume from Return of the Jedi, brightening my day. Soon afterwards a spectacular Dark Phoenix wandered past in the opposite direction. It’s as if I was seated at the crossroads of the multiverse.

Speaking of the Princess, you may recall that last summer at the DK booth in San Diego, I discovered that I was sitting right behind Carrie Fisher, who was in the next booth. This time in New York when I turned around, it was animator Bill Plympton who was sitting in the booth behind me.

When my allotted time at the DK booth ended at 7 PM, I stopped by Artist’s Aerie (so dubbed by the Beat due to its lofty location) once more, but not getting enough sleep the last few nights was catching up with me, so I decided against trying to enlist any dinner companions. After all, I had one more day of the convention to go.

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SUNDAY, FEB. 25, 11 AM

And there I was, back at the DK booth on Sunday morning for another scheduled signing. It was another off-peak time, and the convention floor was relatively and rewardingly uncrowded. Nonetheless I signed and sold the last remaining copy of Marvel Encyclopedia at the DK booth during this morning session. I also got to see a resplendently costumed Darth Vader stride menacingly by: it’s a good thing he showed up on a different day than Princess Leia.

By the way, when I’m signing books I try to make sure that the ink has sufficiently dried before I close the book. I wouldn’t want the recipient to get the book home and discover the signature has smudged.

SUNDAY FEB. 25, 12 PM

Ascending the escalator on my way up to Artists’ Aerie, I look around myself at the interior architecture of the Jacob Javits Convention Center. Just being in the San Diego Convention Center lifts my spirits: it is a marvel of postmodern architecture, designed by Canadian architect Arthur Erickson to evoke the ships in the nearby harbor, with the building’s triangular fiberglass “sails,” and enormous circular windows resembling portholes. Even on the main convention floor, despite the lack of windows, the hall somehow seems open and bright. In sharp contrast, the Javits Center’s network of crisscrossing steel beams seems to me grim, dark, unlovely and oppressive.

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Last year the New York Comic-Con took place during the controversy over the Danish cartoonists who had drawn cartoons about the prophet Muhammed. A vocal supporter of the embattled Danish cartoonists, writer and artist Colleen Doran, who was attending the Con, offered to give one of her sketches to anyone who brought her something having to do with Denmark, and to donate a dollar per person to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. So I brought her a Danish pastry (see “Comics in Context” #123). This year when I stopped by her table in Artists’ Aerie, she offered me some delicious Danish cookies. I had the feeling of a circle being completed.

I also went over to say hello to artist Amanda Conner and Claypool Comics editor Richard Howell. Amanda drew all the covers for the Claypool series Soulsearchers and Company (see “Comics in Context” #38), but she and Richard had not seen each other for many years, corresponding instead by telephone. But now, just before the final issue of Soulsearchers was to come out, Amanda and Richard found themselves sitting alongside each other in Artist’s Aerie. I picked up a copy of Amanda Conner’s Book of $#!* You May Have Never Seen! #1, a showcase of the wit, sexiness, and visual charm of Amanda’s art.

She also inscribed something on the cover of the copy she gave me, but once I had transported it home in an enormous Dark Horse bag I had found, it had smudged so much as to be indecipherable. Damn! I fell into the very trap I usually try to avoid!

Towards 2 PM I ventured back to the lower level with the meeting rooms to attend my final panel of the convention, a tribute to the recently deceased comics artist Dave Cockrum.

Exactly a month after the convention weekend, another major comics artist who first made his mark in the 1970s, Marshall Rogers, passed away on Saturday, March 24.

If I were asked to select my favorite run of issues from the entire comic book history of Batman, it would be the six issues of Detective Comics, #471-476, from 1977 and 1978, written by Steve Englehart, drawn by Rogers, and inked by Terry Austin (see “Comics in Context” #84). Although they were recognized as instant classics by discerning comics aficionados of the time, it was not until nearly thirty years later that DC Comics commissioned Englehart, Rogers and Austin to create a sequel. I hoped that their new stories would live up to the high standards set by their original run on Detective, but was that hoping too much? No: the 2005 Batman: Dark Detective miniseries was another triumph (see “Comics in Context” #84, 87-88, 90, 93, 104). Englehart and Rogers already had a further sequel in mind, and I was enthusiastically looking forward to it. And now it won’t happen.

With the mainstream media’s new, more welcoming attitude towards comics as an artform, obituaries for Rogers have been appearing in numerous newspapers, including the March 29 New York Times. I am becoming annoyed by the fact that there have been so many important figures in American comic book history–not just Cockrum and Rogers, but even Jack Kirby, Gil Kane and Alex Toth–of whom the Times took no notice until after they were dead. The Times, the “newspaper of record,” has a great deal to catch up on in covering the comics artform and its history.

I did not know Marshall Rogers well, but I spoke with him in person or by telephone several times over the decades, including conducting an interview with him, Englehart and Austin at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art two years ago. Marshall was always friendly, and always a pleasure to speak to.

It has often been said that Marshall’s Joker was something of a self-portrait, but in person Marshall’s smile was always warm and benevolent.

You should all read Fred Hembeck’s affecting tribute to Marshall in the March 27 entry on his blog, and listen to Englehart, Austin, writer Roger Stern and inker Joe Rubinstein reminisce about Rogers on the March 28 “Comic Zone” Internet radio show. Then write to Marvel Comics to ask them to collect the Roger Stern/Marshall Rogers run on Doctor Strange, long overdue for reprinting, into a new trade paperback.

It is sad when any person dies at a relatively young age. But when a creative artist dies, all of the potential work that he or she could have created perishes as well. I will return to this subject next week, when I wind up my convention coverage with my report on “Dave Cockrum Remembered.”

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF

I shouldn’t do a column about Stan Lee’s appearance at the New York Comic-Con without again recommending that you all go see the survey of his career which I co-curated, “Stan Lee: A Retrospective,” now running at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art in Manhattan’s SoHo.

As I’ve mentioned in the past (see “Comics in Context” #58), comics–and even the graphic novel–were invented not in America but by a Swiss scholar, artist and satirist named Rodolphe Topffer in the early 18th century. You can read my article about the first English language compilation of his work, Rodolphe Topffer: The Complete Comic Strips, in the latest edition of Publishers Weekly‘s online newsletter Comics Week.

–Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

10 Quick Questions: Eren Cannata

Filed under: 10 Quick Questions,Columns,Interviews,Trailer Park — admin @ 2:49 am
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–by Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

It’s when you hear artists as they’re evolving as musicians that you really respect the talent it takes to be successful in this business. And make no mistake about the nature of this beast: it’s a business.

You need to show how you can be an economical investment for any of the major labels to pay attention to your skills. You can be the greatest show on earth during a festival like SXSW, and you can be the talk of the town, but if you’re not marketable to some necktie wearing stiffs in the back room of some boardroom you can just take your pachouli and go somewhere else.

Eren Cannata’s dedication to his music is one thing but when you listen to how he has found a way to exist without the help of the big label infrastructure that has made good bands sell their creative soul to the material devil he’s an amazingly sharp man who is equally precise when it comes to delivering on the melodic goods.

Eren’s music travels a route that many can relate to but so few have put so well without sounding trite, maudalin or saccharine sweet. His album, Blame It On The City, is his first major release and one that defies convention if you’re taste has been steeped in the false and theatric nihilism of My Chemical Romance or any other number of emo bands that should really be big boys about making their way through the world; suck it up, stop whining and if things are really that bad then get a job and call me when you realize life isn’t supposed to be wine and roses.

I caught up with Eren just days after the release of his full-length album.

CHRISTOPHER STIPP: You had an in-store concert appearance recently, didn’t you?

EREN CANNATA: Yes, the Virgin Megastore in Union Square, New York City. It was a huge performance for us and a milestone for my career, my life. It was a bit surreal, too. There were tons of people there and it was so much fun and for the first time my CD is everywhere, they even had it in the New Release bin, the whole bit was pretty exciting.

STIPP: I would ask if that’s the biggest crowd you’ve played for prior to the release of this album but I’m sure you’ve played for bigger”¦

CANNATA: Yeah, it definitely wasn’t the biggest venue I’ve ever played because I grew up on the road with my dad who was a saxophonist for Billy Joel and The Beach Boys, I was a tour kid, and, at times, all of us would come out and play with the band on the biggest of shows. So, I’m working my way up to that! One day it’ll be my show.

STIPP: When did this all happen?

CANNATA: Well, I was born in 85 and I went out with the Beach Boys in the 90s, because that’s what he was doing around then, and it was just a blast. I got real close with Carl Wilson, who has since passed away since then, and I got very close to him but it was one of those experiences I remember at all times and taught me a lot about music.

STIPP: What was one of the biggest things you took away from it?

CANNATA: Well, Carl Wilson taught me how to warm up my voice. Simple as that. I was one of the only kids allowed in his dressing room at the time, I don’t know why, my dad says it was because every one else was a little more annoying than me, but I would go back there and say “This is how you warm up”¦This is what we do”¦These are my guitars”¦” They also taught me about harmony and how to blend and how to be good to each other on the road and how to write good music. Even if they didn’t personally show me, osmosis picked it up and I’m trying to apply it to my own music making process.

But I took a lot away from it all even though I was simply enjoying myself at the time, just trying to be an annoying little kid.

STIPP: How did your experience, then, shape how you thought about in which direction you wanted to take your own sound?

CANNATA: The Beach Boys and Billy Joel”¦the songwriting, alone, is amazing to me. Pet Sounds was revolutionary in how it was recorded and written. Billy’s The Stranger”¦they’re true songsters. They have ideas and concepts that”¦let’s say about “love.” Everybody talks about love but how are you going talk about love and make it popular, again, and make it something that’s new, fresh and catchy and a lovely piece of art too? So, through them, I’ve shaped my sound”¦find that hook, find that difference, find that harmony part in your vocal that people have done before but you’re saying with your flair and your attitude and that you’re making your own. And that’s something I’ve taken away that’s been invaluable.

STIPP: How does that influence your writing?

CANNATA: Sometimes people will ask, “What’s your passion about the whole thing? Is it performing? Is it playing guitar?” But, really, the thing that I am first and the thing that I love the most, and would never give up in a million years for anything, is writing music. I love writing and listening to great music. That’s where my heat lies, that’s how it’s shaped. I like to start with that.

If my song doesn’t sound good with me and an acoustic guitar in my hand or me and a piano or just me singing a capella”¦if it doesn’t have any meaning or significance when I do any of those then I don’t believe there’s any grounds for me to put it on an album. That’s why I’m so excited about the album because all those songs mean something to me and they say something. They all can be played acoustically.

I was at the University of Maryland and playing for the students there, 600 some odd tickets were sold, and I did the entire show acoustically. It was great and everyone had a really good time. It really shows the bare bones of what I love to do.

STIPP: Especially on a song like “Part of Me” I thought about how the sound of that song represented of what I could compare it to from my own musical experiences. It finally came to me that listening to that song was like hearing the genesis of a band like Toad the Wet Sprocket; a real focus on instrumentation, introspection and a sound that any college kid in the early 90’s could gravitate toward.

CANNATA: Absolutely. And that’s what I want to come out of my music; I want to be as specific enough and say exactly how I feel but yet when people listen to it I hope they can say something like, “Yeah. I’ve been there.” Something that can capture the audience like that as they listen.

STIPP: Who do you admire that’s out there, then, contemporarily speaking, that’s playing right now and speaking to what you’re trying to accomplish with your music?

CANNATA: I think John Mayer. He’s got something magical about him. Not because of his first or second album but because of the way he’s trying to depart from his usual self. I read in an interview about him he said, “I’m more comfortable with a guitar in my hand than a microphone in front of me.” He’s a great songwriter, he’s a decent singer but he really plays guitar and he was able to tell his record label, “I am going in this direction. You need to trust me.” And, personally, I really enjoy that; he’s taking the bull by the horns and doing it like that.

That being said, though, it’s not my most favorite of things I’ve ever heard. People that I admire right now? I listen to old stuff. Things like Tower of Power and I still listen to Billy Joel and The Beach Boys. Right now I am completely hooked on the new Beatles “Love” album. I’m completely hooked on that.

STIPP: And, at this point, John can pretty much call the shots. When you were recording Blame It On The City was there any give and take with what you wanted and what those in charge wanted?

CANNATA: Here’s the brilliant part about that”¦my father has a recording studio here in Glen Cove, Long Island and it was basically that when my dad was on the road with Billy my mom wouldn’t let my dad spend his money on fancy cars or boats or anything. So, she said, “Buy something that will give back”¦something that you can do and love it for the rest of your life.” So, they put a studio together and since I’m an only child I am totally indebted to my parents for that. Being that it was here, my dad produced my album and it was a lovely thing where all the comments that were made were in my best interest. It was like “How do you feel?”, “What do think you should do?”, “What do you think sounds good with this?” That’s why it worked out real well.

We also didn’t have a label hanging over our head telling us what to do and so we started our own indie label, Brown Dog Records, my father and I and an attorney. It’s great. We signed up with Icon Distribution and they got it into stores for us. And, so, the people we answer to is my father and an attorney that is completely in love with the project. If we think we should do something, we do it. If we don’t want to do it, we don’t do it and no one tells us otherwise. It’s one of the most lucky situations we’ve fell into and it’s certainly one of the most lucky things that have happened in my life so far. Being able to have an album in stores and doing it the way I want to do it, by choosing the pictures we want with the CD and not the ones that people would negate or try to airbrush”¦

STIPP: Is that a trap where you see some performers fall into?

CANNATA: A lot of musicians want it so bad that they’re willing to compromise integrity for it”¦which is tough. If I didn’t have this position I might be compromising my integrity too. I want it that bad as well. It’s a dirty game but you’ve got to play by the rules and break some rules at the same time.

STIPP: Speaking of distribution”¦With music companies growing ever more conglomeratized how difficult is it to get your music”¦

CANNATA: Distribution is extremely hard. A) A good distribution deal, in itself, is a hard thing to get and B) some distributors will simply release an album online and say, “Here it is”¦It’s released.” It’s tough but we’re excited because we have a distribution company that believes in us. Just being able to have someone like Josh Kelly, someone who I listen to while I was writing my album, and for us to be on the same roster of distributors is pretty cool.

STIPP: Have you had to be more of a business person than someone who wouldn’t have to be”¦

CANNATA: Yeah, it’s kind of interesting. I never thought I would but when I discovered that I was going to have to wear a few hats, it’s what I had to do. We had to make sure we hired a really good team, a small team but effective, who could push it because we want people to buy it and we want people to listen to it. We know that there are some people who will listen to it and be opinionated about it but, you know what, we think it’s good and if they like it, they like it.

STIPP: You’re going to be touring behind this, right?

CANNATA: We’re probably going to be doing 20 shows in the next month, just by myself, just doing acoustic things, just promoting it out there, doing a lot of college towns and things like that. But a lot of that stuff is up in the air. We’re booking shows 1 by 1 and getting ourselves on the road.

I’m so damn excited to get out there and show everyone every song that I’ve ever written from the beginning of time”¦I’m very comfortable on stage. It’s an exciting moment for me and I can’t wait to share this with everyone.

STIPP: Going back to the recording of the album, I’m curious, did there ever come a time when you felt like you were overproducing a song? You can hear it in how some artists just add layer after layer”¦

CANNATA: Of course. There’s one song on the album that my father and I did not produce, “Part of Me” in fact, and the one thing we worried about was that it was done too many times. We sort of have this concept in the studio”¦everything you lay down, make sure it sounds amazing. Don’t say, “We’ll come back to it.” And that’s just good producing, that’s not over producing. And when you when you over produce something it’s when you keep putting more and more on top of what was there; it gets cluttered. Because here, in the studio, we have the liberty of being able to burn CDs after we’re done every day and we’ll be able to be honest with each other. I might say, “Dad”¦Didn’t really need those background parts,” and he’ll be in a position to be able and say, “Yeah, I agree with you. Take “˜em out.” And we’ll be done just like that. We have a good checks and balances system here.

STIPP: But what happens when you come to a crossroad where you disagree? Are you, ultimately, the president, C.E.O.?

CANNATA: We’re very democratic, diplomatic about it all but if, let’s say, an engineer feels real strongly about something we know something’s wrong because they work with us. These people who are the engineers have been engineers for my dad for 20 years. They learned how we work and a lot of those people who’ve worked here have gone on to be Grammy award winning mixers and engineers themselves. So, their opinions are very valuable to us. If they’re strongly feeling something we take that into consideration. At the end of the day, yeah, we’ll make the decision but, in the back of our mind, we might be thinking, “You know what? They might be right about this so let’s see how we can rework it to make it perfect without making it sound too homogenized and over produced.”

STIPP: In your writing, what comes first: melody or the lyrics?

CANNATA: For me, sometimes, the music comes first or the lyrics come first. It’s always different. But the most successful way, I’ve found, is if I sit down and everything comes out at the same time. “Blame It On The City” came out all at once. It was a streaming thought. Front to back. I didn’t even start with the chorus. Every song, to me, the reason why I would consider a good song for the album has a story like that.

STIPP: And something that I appreciate is the way these moments, these songs, seem honest. It seems like a decision you have to make as an artist as well.

CANNATA: Absolutely. You’ve got to find your true integrity in it and that’s what I really enjoy about what I do. It is believable because it is true. It’s those normal little stories of things that have happened to me and I’ve turned them into something interesting just by phrasing them into a way I think they should be phrased.

STIPP: Your sound seems reminiscent, like I’ve stated, of the college rock that seemed to be so prevalent in the early 90’s; minimal production, thick sound. Has anyone else commented on what this music appears indicative of to them?

CANNATA: There’s a lot of younger fans that I have and what I get from them is that this music is something completely different than what they’ve been exposed to and, from the older fans, a lot of people have said I have an old soul. I get that a lot. I average those two together and think that the music speaks to something that my older fans were listening to when they were the age of my younger fans.

STIPP: My last question, if you don’t mind offering some thoughts on the subject, is when I was reading your bio it said you really began your musical career with cover tunes, something that really helps with all those things necessary to being a good musician. What do you make of those guys who never move beyond that, those dudes who will forever play 25 cent draft and well drinks, damned to jam forever, singing back-to-back ditties like “Sister Christian” and “Panama”?

CANNATA: I find that a lot when I come back home.

Home for me is Long Island, New York and I find that when I come back home and I see all my old friends, they’re the ones at the bar playing those things and they’ll say, “This is life. Why would I ever want to leave here?”

But that’s what it is. It’s like that movie, GARDEN STATE. There are some but I feel like it’s almost a little too foolish to pigeonhole yourself to just do cover songs like that and try to make that your life.

At the Virgin in-store I did one. I did Jimi Hendrix’ “Fire” with Max Weinberg from Bruce Springsteen and Conan O’Brien”¦he came up and played with us.

STIPP: Really?

CANNATA: We rocked it out. I put down my guitar and ran around on stage. It was fantastic and everyone had a really good time. It was the cherry on top of a completely original set. We played a great set, people were so in tune with the signing of the album”¦and we see Max there and we were, “Yo, Max. Come on, come on up.” I brought the horn section up and we played it with horns and made it something really unique that people could enjoy.

STIPP: Eren, thank you so much for making time for me. I hope the album does very, very well.

CANNATA: Thank you, absolutely.

Weekend Shopping Guide 3/30/07: Werewolves Of London

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:13 am
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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

I can think of no better way to spend this weekend than kicking back and making my way through a few dozen listens of the new Warren Zevon remasters. Not only have we got a pristine edition of his legendary album Excitable Boy (Rhino, $18.98 SRP) – featuring “Werewolves of London”, “Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner”, “Lawyers, Guns And Money”, and the still-shocking title track – but we’ve got a pair of previously unreleased on CD gems, The Envoy and the live Stand In The Fire ($11.98 SRP each). All 3 discs features a nice selection of bonus tracks, but the real delight are the albums themselves. Viva la Zevon!

With the DVD release of Batman and Superman’s animated adventures already wrapped, it’s with a measure of sadness that the release of the third seasons of Justice League Unlimited & Batman Beyond (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP each) mark the official end of the Bruce Timm version of the DC Universe (those new direct-to-videos don’t count, as they’re heavily influenced by the talentless bastard currently running Warner Animation… but I digress). Both of these 2-disc sets features creator interviews, featurettes, and more (but surpassingly no audio commentaries).

You might think that you’ll be drown in saccharine smarm watching a flick about a black sheep penguin who’s unable to sing a note in tune in an Antarctic penguin society that relies upon song (popular tunes, no less!) for their courting rituals. As if that didn’t make him enough of an outcast, young Mumble (Elijah Wood) does have a talent – for dance. Eventually kicked out of his Emperor penguin society, he sets out to find his place in the world, accompanied by a ragtag, fun-loving group of Adelie penguins (most of which are voiced by Robin Williams). But here’s the shock, for those of you thinking Happy Feet (Warner Bros., Rated PG, DVD-$28.98 SRP) would give you insulin shock – it’s actually a fun, enjoyable flick. Imagine that? Bonus features include a pair of new animated sequences, music videos, a private dance lesson with Savion Glover, and the classic Warner/Tex Avery cartoon “I Love To Singa.”

Our documentary corner this week features two different looks at childhood. The first is Stagedoor (Docurama, Not Rated, DVD-$26.95 SRP), about the children who attend the Stagedoor Manor theater camp deep in the Catskills, leaving their regular humdrum lives behind and letting their inner diva out for a romp, some of whom hope to follow in the footsteps of famous camp alums like Natalie Portman and Zach Braff. The other doc is Following Sean (Docurama, Not Rated, DVD-$26.95 SRP), which follows up with a 4-year-old flower child who literally spent his late-60’s childhood running barefoot in San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury. Now in his 30’s, it an interesting perspective on the legacy of the 60’s generation.

Long before it became fashionable, Victor Meldrew was forced into an early retirement. Unfortunately, his transition into a life of leisure is stymied by the maddening, frustrating world around him, which – with its hypocrisies, lack of logic, ignorance, and indifference – never ceases to get on his nerves. One Foot In The Grave (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98/$29.98 SRP) is one of those modern classics of British Comedy, and Richard Wilson’s Victor Meldrew is as memorable a comic creation as Basil Fawlty or David Brent. By all means, snap up the first two seasons, featuring a total of 12 episodes, the 1990 Christmas special, and a “Britain’s Best Sitcom” featurette.

Although he’s a bit of a culture lightning rod in his native England, Jeremy Clarkson is one of the most engaging – and often funny – TV presenters I’ve ever run across. Although he’s often to be found on panel shows and presenting a series of historical and cultural documentaries, his main focus is automobiles – reviewing and featuring them. I could care less, really, about cars, but if it’s one of Clarkson’s programs – including the wonderful Top Gear – I can’t help but enjoy it. For the past few year’s, he released an annual home video in which he features his favorite cars, eviscerates his least favorite, and blows things up (usually the objects of his derision). Finally, one of these vids has made its way to the US – Clarkson: Heaven and Hell (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), and it is fantastic. Can we have more, please?

Forest Whitaker arrives on the scene as Lieutenant Jim Kavanaugh in the 5th season of The Shield (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), shaking up an already tense situation in the Barn. Kavanaugh is an internal affairs cop focused on bringing Vic Mackey down – even if it means going through Vic’s ex-wife. This 4-disc set features all 11 episodes, plus audio commentaries, deleted scenes (with optional commentary), behind-the-scenes featurettes, and a season 6 prequel.

 

 

IMAX films aren’t really about narrative, so let’s just say that the new DVD release of IMAX: Deep Sea (Warner Bros., Rated G, DVD-$27.98 SRP) looks absolutely stunning on my big HDTV. Presenting stunning views of the creatures populating the ocean depths, it’s one of those “oooo” discs that are fun to pop in just for the visual thrill.

 

 

You gotta love a nice little dystopian future pic – one that gets the inner sci-fi geek rooting for the small glimmer of hope that enters into that world. In Children of Men (Universal, Rated R, DVD-$29.98 SRP), that glimmer of hope is a pregnant woman – in a future (2027, to be exact) where the last human birth occurred 18 years prior and society has largely disintegrated. Clive Owen is tasked with delivering the woman and her unborn charge safely out of the country, potentially saving the human race in the process. Slick and largely satisfying, it’s worth checking out. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, and more.

Another week, another great Teeny Weeny Mini-Maquette from Electric Tiki and Sideshow Collectibles. This week, it’s everyone’s favorite near-sighted septuagenarian, Mr. Magoo ($59.99). As you would expect, the nifty design (courtesy of Tracy Mark Lee) finds Magoo stepping gingerly into the abyss, blissfully unaware of what’s in front of him. The piece is limited to an edition size of 500.

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As if the Zevon releases weren’t enough, Rhino has doubled the listening pleasure this weekend with the 40th anniversary remasters of all 6 Jim Morrison Doors albums (Rhino, $11.98 SRP each). The albums in question – The Doors, Waiting For The Sun, L.A. Woman, Morrison Hotel, The Soft Parade, and Strange Days – all sport a wonderful selection of bonus cuts, including alternate takes and rarities. Show me the way to the last whiskey bar…

 

It’s documentary series like Engineering An Empire (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$49.95 SRP) that call me out as the geek I am. This 12-part series focuses on the engineering marvels of civilizations from the Egyptian empires of the pharaohs to more modern structures including the Kremlin and Notre Dame. Hosted by Peter Weller, it will appeal to all of your basest nerdly needs. I love it.

 

 

 

A few years after wrapping his multi-year stay with the Tanner family, ALF found himself a prisoner of the US government in the TV movie Project: ALF (VSC, Not Rated, DVD-$14.95 SRP). Co-starring Martin Sheen, Ed Begley, Jr., Miguel Ferrer, and the late, great Ray Walston, this special edition features a brand new commentary track with creator (and ALF himself) Paul Fusco.

 

 

Warners Signature Series sets have oft-times been anchored by one or two films that have been on DVD previously. It’s always welcome, then, when we get a set that features a completely new-to-DVD line-up, which means we’ve essentially “raided the vaults” for goodies that, save for these themed sets, probably wouldn’t have seen the light of day. Such is the case with the 5 flicks featured in the Erroll Flynn Collection: Volume 2 (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) – which sports The Charge of the Light Brigade, Adventures of Don Juan, Dive Bombers, Gentleman Jim, and The Sawn Patrol. Bonus features include vintage cartoons & short subjects, radio shows, making-of featurettes, trailers, and a commentary on Don Juan.

I’m a sucker for rarely seen comedic performances, so I’m very pleased with what we’ve gotten from MPI’s “Comic Legends” line so far, including their two latest releases. The first – Dick Van Dyke: In Rare Form (MPI, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP) – features classic comic and dance sequences from Van Dyke’s recurring appearances during the 1958-59 season of The Pat Boone Chevy Showroom, plus an episode of Van Dyke’s ultra-rare panel show Laugh Line. The second release is a double bill – Groucho Marx & Redd Foxx (MPI, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP) – and the stars alone should make this a must have.

Continue your collection of the creepy, kooky, mysterious, and ooky Addams Family (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) with the second and penultimate volume, featuring the middle 21 episodes from its all-too-short 2 season run. Bonus materials include audio commentaries, a “Mad About The Addams” appreciation featurette, and an interactive guest star featurette. For some reason, though, Fox continues to urinate on the parade with their abysmal double-sided discs. Please guys… Stop.

 

 

It’s definitely a piffle, but there’s something eminently likeable about sprite-ly, vivacious Amanda Bynes in Lovewrecked (Genius, Rated PG-13, DVD-$19.95 SRP), where she stars as a young woman who finds her self stranded on a deserted island with her rock idol. Well, maybe not so deserted – as their resort is only a stone’s throw away – but she tries everything in her power to hide that fact in order to spend as much time with him as possible.

 

 

Night Of The Comet (MGM/UA, Rated PG-13, DVD-$14.98 SRP) is on DVD. Can you believe that? One of the most gloriously schlocky 80’s cult flicks has hit little shiny disc. A comet! Zombies! Valley girls as humanity’s saviors! And there’s even time for shopping!

 

 

 

In the 1970’s, a rather fascinating by-product of the success of The Godfather films was a mini-series that featured a re-enactment filled history of organized crime in Italy and its eventual arrival in America. Stretching back 400 years, the 5-part Origins of The Mafia (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$19.95 SRP) featured a cast that included Eddie Albert, Joseph Cotton, and Lee J. Cobb. It’s certainly an interesting overview of the roots of organized crime in America, a subject that continues to be mined in films and television to this day.

 

 

In front of the camera, George and Weezy become grandparents in the 6th season of The Jeffersons (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP), while behind-the-scenes, actor Mike Evans returned to the role of son Lionel, which he had originated all the way back during All In The Family. Still at the top of its game, this season also found George coaching neighbor Tom Willis on how to act black and also wining small businessman of the year (literally), and Louise even fires Florence. Season 7, post haste!

 

She may not have one another Oscar this year, but you can get more than your fill of everyone’s favorite stern Dame courtesy of the BBC’s 8-film Judi Dench Collection (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP). The films on the docket are both the 1962 & 1981 versions of The Cherry Orchard, Talking To A Stranger, Keep An Eye On Amelie, Going Gently, Ghosts, Make And Break, Can You Hear Me Thinking?, and Absolute Hell. Bonus features include a trio of radio plays, Dench singing “Send in the Clowns,” interviews, and more.

 

No 80’s childhood was complete without at least one viewing (on cable) of the post-apocalyptic roller-skating flick Solarbabies (MGM/UA, Rated PG-13, DVD-$14.98 SRP). In a world where water is a rare commodity controlled by a global corporation that snatches children from their families to raise them as workers, can a band of roller-rebels change the future? What about if I throw in a weird, glowing extraterrestrial globe with healing powers? And Charles Durning?

 

 

I would hope that, after the numerous failures in the last election and the disturbing lack of a paper trail, the existing electronic balloting system would be cause for concern amongst American voters. If it’s not, then I recommend you take a look at the documentary Hacking Democracy (Docurama, Not Rated, DVD-$26.95 SRP), which examines the machines and the system behind them.

 

 

 

Before Soap, Norman Lear’s Mary Hartman Mary Hartman (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP) was the first sitcom to spoof the conventions of the serialized storytelling known as Soap Operas. Housewife Mary Hartman (Louise Lasser) lives in the fictional town of Fernwood, a burg best by kidnappings, mass murders, and a recurring flasher, but she’s more focused on her daily travails, specifically the shine on her kitchen floor and saving her marriage. It really was a groundbreaking show, and it’s well worth checking out the 25 first season episodes featured in this 3-disc box set.

 

I have to admit, by the third season of A Family Affair (MPI, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), I’m mainly watching it for the wonderfully subtle Sebastian Cabot as English manservant Mr. French. Otherwise, it’s still an amiable sitcom that’s a very comfortable viewing experience, even 30 years later. The 5-disc set features all 28 episodes, plus the Family Affair reunion special.

 

 

The Tanners return in the wacky and comfortably predictable sixth season of Full House (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). If you’ve seen any episode of the show, you know what to expect… It’s like comfort food for Gen Y. Sadly, no bonus features… Not even an uncensored Saget commentary. Shame.

 

 

 

In the age of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, there’s something a bit naff about the big screen adaptation of the kid and his dragon fantasy Eragon (Fox, Rated PG, DVD-$34.98 SRP). It’s like The Neverending Story, but without the charm. The 2-disc special edition features an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes documentary & featurettes, interviews, galleries, and more.

 

 

As the big 30th anniversary Star Wars Celebration approaches, I thought we’d end this week with a look at Sideshow’s 1/4-scale Premium Format Luke & Yoda – Dagobah Training figure ($349). Featuring a pretty spiffy likeness of Mark Hamill (and Yoda, too), as well as the attention to detail – including clothing and the Dagobah Swamp environment – that we’ve come to expect from Sideshow, it’s another stellar piece to add to your collection. And, if you order the Sideshow inclusive edition, you’ll get a 1/4-scale replica of the Luke/Vader head from Luke’s training vision in the cave. Creepy, ain’t it?

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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QSE News: 3/30/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:13 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgU2 singer Bono has become the latest celebrity to become a knight of the British Empire. Bono was reportedly excited about the new title and immediately asked when he would get his suit of armor and where he could get some “princess tang.”
  • The Beastie Boys have announced that they will be performing several acoustic shows this summer. To help promote the shows, group members plan on getting arrested for drunk driving, getting caught shouting racial slurs and entering rehab. “It’s worked for all the other rappers… so we might as well,” said Beastie Boy Mike D.
  • Actress Halle Berry has admitted to Parade magazine that after her marriage with baseball player David Justice ended, she tried to kill herself. Berry apparently tried to asphyxiate herself by sitting in a running car in a garage, but stopped when she thought about her mother finding her. We here at QSE News would like to congratulate Ms. Berry for having the courage to admit this, but we would also like to remind her that no one likes a quitter.
  • Microsoft has announced plans to release a new version of their next-gen gaming console, the Xbox 360. The Xbox 360 Elite will come with a High Definition Multimedia Interface port as well as a 120 gig hard drive. Gamers across the country are preparing for the new system by collecting 119 gigs worth of digital porn.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/30/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:12 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Can we give a medal to The Sound of Young America‘s Jesse Thorn? Can we do that? Because he deserves it for helping to bring more attention to the criminally overlooked comedy of Coyle & Sharpe… (Thingamabob)
  • Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes Of All Time… (Thingamabob)
  • This is wrong on just so many levels… (Thingamabob)
  • For those of you who’ve ever been curious about that whole Pink Floyd/Wizard of Oz thing… (Thingamabob)
  • Garden gnome problem? Try “Gnome-Be-Gone”… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 29, 2007

The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 97 – Vault Hembeck

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:36 am

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This week, we have a real curiosity for you folks.

Fact is, I’M sorta curious about it myself!…

Several years ago, I inadvertently stumbled across a small pile of 3×5 index cards (a thick rubber band wrapped securely around them) tucked away with the rest of my original artwork. It was twenty eight pages of rough layouts – plus cover – for something I chose to call “Living In The Marvel Universe starring Fred Hembeck”. The thing is, I have absolutely no memory of when – and especially WHY – I did this!! (Internal evidence garnered from some baseball references – don’t worry, non-sports fans, they’re only of a passing nature – would indicate that this was cobbled together during the 1985, ’86, ’87, or ’88 seasons, most likely earlier than later.)

But more importantly, WHY? Clearly, these AREN’T thumbnails for full-sized pages, what with the severely limited amount of panels found on each page. It kinda looks like I was designing some sort of pocket-sized flip book, but why I ever thought that would be a good idea, well, like I say, at this late date, I have absolutely NO clue. Considering that things never progressed past the extremely embryonic stage on display here, I would venture to guess that I eventually came to realize the folly of my labors.

But you know what? Despite some hastily scrawled drawing (not to mention some occasionally shaky lettering), reading this over again recently (and please, pardon me for saying this) actually made me chuckle several times. Try and get past the raw nature of this piece, and who knows? Maybe it’ll do the same for you! Here’s hoping…

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Coincidentally, the New York Mets 2007 season begins this very Sunday. Y’know, I haven’t heard anything as of yet, but I’m still hoping good ol’ Spidey can swing on over to catch the opener with me!

And remember, fans, at Hembeck.com, we ALWAYS play ball!

-Copyright 2007 Fred Hembeck

QSE News: 3/29/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:47 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThe cover for the next, and last, Harry Potter novel has been revealed. The cover features Harry Potter alone, reaching for the sky. Fans of the series had hoped the cover would feature the three main characters of the book, naked and in a loving embrace.
  • With the success of the LEGO Star Wars videogames, LEGO has announced a similar game based on its Batman license, LEGO Batman: The Vidoegame. The game will allow gamers the opportunity to play little LEGO versions of many classic Batman characters. The game is geared towards children, but to help draw adult gamers, developers built in features like sex with hookers, car jacking, vandalism and a crazy amount of violence.
  • Black Eyed Peas member Taboo was arrested for drinking, driving and smashing in Industry, CA. According to reports the rapper was picked up and charged with Driving Under the Influence after a collision. We at QSE feel for Mr. Taboo and hope that he remains strong in these difficult times but we’d also like to caution and remind him that no amount of alcohol will make him forget that he is in part responsible for “My Humps.”
  • And finally today, writer/director Guy Ritchie is set to launch a new graphic novel with Virgin Comics.  The comic, called Game Keeper, is said to be a gritty crime drama.  Much like the last few projects Ritchie has spearheaded, it is expected that his wife Madonna will soon become involved and make a once cool project totally lame.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/29/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:35 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • An insider ode to the impending crap Transformers flick… (Thingamabob)
  • Of course, we have to follow that up with Today’s Special… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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