FRED Entertainment

December 21, 2007

Holiday Havoc: Mitchell & Webb

Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Quickcasts — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:10 am

holidayhavocheader.jpg

holly.jpg

Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

Not us.

Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you (and you can check out last year’s fun here).

Ain’t that cool?

Today, we’ve got an exclusive sketch from UK comedy duo Mitchell & Webb – a little piece called “IT Helpdesk”.

Chances are, to most Americans, the names David Mitchell & Robert Webb mean very little… unless, of course, they have a friend, relation, or acquaintance by that name. I speak, however, of a pair of brilliant comedians by the sobriquet Mitchell & Webb who currently ply their trade in the sceptred isle of England.

A cursory glance at the offerings on YouTube will bring you up to speed on Messrs. Mitchell & Webb – who, since their Cambridge Footlights days, have written and starred in Edinburgh Fringe productions, radio (That Mitchell & Webb Sound), a live tour, and a trio of sketch shows (Bruiser, The Mitchell & Webb Situation, and That Mitchell & Webb Look – the latter two of which are currently available on DVD). They’re also the stars of the Britcom Peep Show (about to begin its 5th season), the feature film Magicians, and were cast as PC (Mitchell) & Mac (Webb) in the British versions of the popular Macintosh ads.

Check ’em out… But first, check today’s Holiday Havoc from Mitchell & Webb…

holidayhavocmitchellwebb.jpg

Download Mitchell & Webb’s “IT Helpdesk“:

[display_podcast]

Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

holly.jpg

Weekend Shopping Guide 12/21/07: Snowdust

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:07 am

weekendshopping.jpg

The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

Unfortunately, the big screen adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s illustrated fable Stardust (Paramount, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.99 SRP) has been saddled with many a comparison to The Princess Bride. That’s probably because modern fantasy with wit and an adult touch are few and far between, and really haven’t been attempted since that mid-80’s gem. Stardust, though, is it’s own beast, and while it sometimes falters under the weight of trying too hard, it’s a mostly enjoyable romp through a fairytale land where a young man of mysterious lineage based half in the real world and half in the aforementioned enchanted land, named Tristan (Charlie Cox), travels to said land in order to bring back a fallen star… Who just so happens to have attained human form (Claire Danes) during her descent from the heavens, and is hunted not only by Tristan, but also the heirs to the kingdom’s throne and a witch (Michelle Pfeiffer) who seeks the heart of the star to renew the immortality of herself and her sisters. Bonus features include a making-of featurette, deleted scenes, and bloopers.

blankguide.gif

The second season of sleuthing magicians Jonathan Creek (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) hits DVD with another half-dozen episodes starring Alan Davies as the mop-headed magico in question. Unfortunately, the 2-disc set is sans any bonus materials, but at least the show itself is cracking good fun.

blankguide.gif

The main attraction of the new 2-disc special edition of Braveheart (Paramount, Rated R, DVD-$19.99 SRP) is the digital remastering of the picture and sound. It is a noticeable, if not terribly extraordinary, upgrade. Bonus materials include an audio commentary with Mel Gibson, making-of featurettes, archival interviews, a photo montage, and a pair of theatrical trailers.

blankguide.gif

No holiday weekend is complete without the tipsy travails of Patsy & Edina from last year’s star-studded Christmas special revisiting our favorite ladies who lush, Absolutely Fabulous: White Box (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP). Bonus features include a retrospective special, a behind-the-scenes featurette, and the original French & Saunders sketch that started it all.

blankguide.gif

On December 2, 2006, Kevin Smith hosted a special conversation between Marvel Comics legend Stan Lee and the current (and controversial) Editor-In-Chief, Joe Quesada. That conversation has been released on DVD as Marvel Then & Now: A Night With Stan Lee & Joe Quesada, Hosted By Kevin Smith (Hero Initiative, $24.95) The DVD is available exclusively as a fundraiser for the Hero Initiative, and you should definitely check out the website while you’re ordering your copy.

blankguide.gif

Forget that horrid big screen version – it will be duly erased from your memory by the original TV adventures of Pete, Linc, and Julie – The Mod Squad (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). The first volume of season 1 contains 13 swingin’ episodes featuring our teenage trio, who go from the wrong side of the law to working as undercover detectives. Bonus materials include a trio of newly produced retrospective featurettes.

blankguide.gif

My emotions about The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$129.99 SRP) are a mixed bag. As a cinematic tool to excite a young audience about the personalities and events that shaped the early 20th century, I think it’s a success. The time-hopping adventures are fun and certainly instructional. I don’t, however, really see them as the juvenile tales of the Indiana Jones that we come to know and love in Raiders and its sequels – Indy is clearly just a hook to bring the audience in. Also, I have to say, my biggest gripe is that – in large part – much of the thematic simplification and visual shortcuts that Lucas would later bastardize the Star Wars franchise with had their roots here. If you divorce the series from those two drawbacks, what you’re left with is still a nice show for kids, and a pleasant diversion for adults. The series has been split into three volumes, with the second 9-disc set focusing on the “War Years” (World War I), featuring in-depth companion documentaries packed with more historical figures and luminaries than you can shake a stick at.

blankguide.gif

The latest Modern Masters spotlight from the fine folks at Twomorrows turns its artist spotlight on Frank Cho (Twomorrows, $14.95 SRP) – he of the beautiful babes and the occasional monkey. Packed with the by-now expected oodles of doodles and artwork both rare and unpublished – plus an in-depth interview with the subject himself – you know it belongs on your shelf with the rest of the Modern Masters releases.

blankguide.gif

I admit, I was hoping for the same kind of brilliance they bring to Reno 911, but I still found Tom Lennon and Ben Garant’s Balls Of Fury (Universal, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.98 SRP) to be a fun flick – but maybe that’s just because there’s no denying the comedic appeal of Christopher Walken as the ping pong overlord of an underground table tennis ring. Bonus features include featurettes, deleted scenes, and an alternate ending.

blankguide.gif

The one thing you don’t want to happen during a remake is to be constantly reminded how much better the original version was. Sadly, those were the exact thoughts running through my mind while watching Ben Stiller try and finagle his was out of an impending marriage while on vacation in Mexico with his fiancée in The Heartbreak Kid (Paramount, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP). All I could think about was how much sharper and slyer Charles Grodin was in the same part over 30 years ago. Sad, really. Bonus features include an audio commentary by the Farrelly Brothers, deleted scenes, featurettes, and a gag reel.

blankguide.gif

The tunes aren’t nearly as memorable as those found in The Producers, but the cast album of Mel Brooks’s latest Broadway adaptation – Young Frankenstein (Decca, $18.98 SRP) – is certainly better than Spamelot‘s disappointing batch of songs. The real standout, though, is Andrea Martin’s showstopper as Frau Blucher, “He Vas My Boyfriend”.

blankguide.gif

I can’t stand Brett Ratner. In fact, the only people I can tolerate less are JJ Abrams and Brannon Braga. It’s just the level of pure, unadulterated smug that’s so off-putting. The only thing that saves the third film in the Rush Hour franchise (New Lines, Rated PG-13, DVD-$34.98 SRP) is the dynamic between its stars – Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker – as they cavort through Paris like a pair of street fighting Clouseau’s. The 2-disc platinum edition features an audio commentary, making-of featurettes, deleted scenes, an outtake reel, and the theatrical trailer.

blankguide.gif

Sega’s hyperspeed hedgehog with the voice of Urkel gets his third animated series released. Sonic Underground (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$29.99 SRP) features the first 20 episodes, interviews, and a bonus CD with tunes from the show.

blankguide.gif

Nicolas Cage’s unlikely (and borderline somnambulant) action hero adventurer Benjamin Franklin Gates will be back on the big screen this holiday season, so it’s expected that the very first National Treasure (Walt Disney, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP) would make a reappearance on DVD as a 2-disc special edition, featuring deleted scenes, and alternate ending, an opening scene animatic, and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

blankguide.gif

Count ’em out and ride in the final 16 episodes of the sophomore season of Rawhide with the second volume of season 2 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). This 4-disc set features 16 episodes of Clint Eastwood as cowhand Rowdy Yates.

blankguide.gif

In the annals of unnecessary movie, add the live action adaptation of Underdog (Walt Disney, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP) to the list. Reimagining Underdog as a real dog in a human world was mistake number one, but pairing that reimagination with a poor script and a fire sale clutch of Disney owned actors (Jim Belushi, Amy Adams, Patrick Warburton) is just sad. Bonus materials include deleted scenes, bloopers, a music video, a featurette, and an Underdog cartoon.

blankguide.gif

Add Rob Zombie’s Halloween (Genius, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP) to the long list of films that prompt the stupefied reaction of “Why in the hell did they remake this?” Zombie claims a deep love the Carpenter original, which makes his decision to execute this lackluster reimagining all the more cringe-worthy. The 2-disc special edition features an audio commentary, alternate ending, deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and the theatrical trailer.

blankguide.gif

If the cold sparks a desire for a rather intense piece of filmmaking to warm things up, give a spin to Eastern Promises (Universal, Rated R, DVD-$29.98 SRP) – starring Naomi Watts as a midwife who’s discovery of a crime family’s operations leads to a desperate and dangerous situation involving a “this can not end happily” relationship with a hardened member of the syndicate (Viggo Mortensen). Bonus features include a pair of behind-the0scenes featurettes with director David Cronenberg.

blankguide.gif

In a repeat of the .5 edition of the first Jackass flick, Jackass 2.5 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$29.99 SRP) offers up an expanded cut of the sequel, featuring much more of the same. The disc also features a new making-of, a look at the Jackass game, bonus segments and stunts, and a photo gallery.

blankguide.gif

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

##

Trailer Park: Best of 2007 Part 1

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:05 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

Before I let you animals loose to do what animals do during their Christmas break I’d like to share a recipe for some alcoholic delight this holiday season.

It’s called the Oatmeal Cookie and it is, perhaps, one of the most satisfying aperitifs you could ever toss down your gullet as you navigate your way through treacherous social graces. It’s simple enough to shake up but it’s wonderfully dangerous and delicious:

2 shots butterscotch schnapps

2 shots Bailey’s

1 shot Goldschlager

Stick all three ingredients into a tumbler with ice and shake. Add a spritz of Coke and serve. – Special Thanks to Trafton Nicholls for the recipe

Yummy and lethal. Be sure it’s represented at all your holiday shindigs. You’ll be thanking me as your stomach feels the warm goodness of a drink that’s akin to wrapping your insides with a fuzzy sweater.

Now, as we wrap up the year that was 2007 for trailers it is time to look back and see who managed to actually create something out of nothing and tease us all while doing it. This was a year where I saw more of the same being passed off as exciting fare but if you are any kind of reader of this column you should know that this is really a matter of the studio’s needing to impress us, to entertain us, to dance, monkey.

Trailers have become such an integral part of how a movie gets marketed and released (por ejemplo: How many of you there were all sorts of excited after figuring out that the newest DARK KNIGHT trailer debuted last Sunday night? Yeah, this is how much power they wield) but there still is a vacuum needing to be filled about how well the companies out there are doing their jobs right. I like to let the world know when there’s a trailer people should be watching and appreciating for its intimate goodness but there’s only so much I can do. Not to mention difficult when people ask what I do for this site. Sure, it may sound all hip and cool to drop that you review movie trailers while trying to infuse pithy remarks here and there but it’s hard to do it with a straight face when in the presence of a complete stranger.

It doesn’t exactly bring boys to the yard, if you catch the drift.

However, that hasn’t stopped me from doing this thing week after week and year after year (more on that in the coming weeks) and the Greatest 2007 Trailer Awards countdown is no different than any other needless, disposable countdown list that you’re no doubt seeing all over the place. So, without anymore hesitation here are my picks for the best of ’07. I’m counting down 10-6 this week, stay tuned for the rest in seven days:

10. THE LIVES OF OTHERS: Where else has reading been so engaging? It’s just a tough sell when you have a foreign language film you’re trying to get people to see but we’re so isolationist here in the States that when we see words pop on the screen we’re all but debilitated in ways that Kryponite can’t even hope of doing. You have a mixture here, though, of pure drama and the thin sense of real foreboding. The trailer succeeds where others failed because it doesn’t sell its genuinely engaging story; it takes the next step of playing into what makes us all human and what can happen when our humanity becomes the very thing that is the object of someone’s interest. Creepy and highly effective.

9. RENO 911: MIAMI: Brilliant. I wasn’t bullshitting the boys of RENO when I said on camera during my interview with Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant when I said that RENO 911: MIAMI was one of the only movies I actually watched more than once this year. The reason that I was brought to the trough of this film’s offerings was its highly amusing and creative trailer. It doesn’t try to hook us with a pop soundtrack that would try and mask the funk of shit comedy like others tried to do this year. This trailer gets by on its own strength and its the opening sequence that not only sets the tone but its everything that comes out of Deputy Junior’s mouth and body that hooked me clean. Walking into doors, getting tazered bro’ by some minx and even the cars peeling out of the garage only to ram into one another was just a peek at what was one of the best ads for a good time at the movies this year.

8. LITTLE CHILDREN: You can have FATAL ATTRACTION. You can keep that film and boil it if it means that this movie could take its psychological place as a reason why you should never, ever cheat on your lady. This trailer is sparse but that’s the real treat. The train chugging in the background with a heavy dependence on mood evokes the exact kind of emotion that you’re going to feel throughout this film. It sells itself without ever having to pitch itself if that makes any sense at all. The audio of the train careening by as we build up to what should be obvious to anyone with any sense at all, that there is no way anyone is going to get out of this unscathed like the train that will demolish anything in its path, is not only palatable but it reaffirmed my notion that you should never, ever cheat on your lady. She’ll cut your balls off. I have come back to this trailer many times this year if only to try and understand that quiet greatness of this trailer’s power.

7. TRADE: See this movie? No? Don’t worry, I didn’t either and, from the looks of it, not a lot of other people did. One of the best things about reviewing movie trailers is that I can basically say whatever I want without having to ever see the film to see if I’m right. Usually I have a pretty good barometer for what really stinks and what should have a decent chance of surviving but I can’t place this film in any sort of those boxes. The story seemed to spring from a rather interesting place and its premise doesn’t strike me, and still doesn’t, that would appeal to a lot of people across a wide swath. That’s irrelevant, though, as this trailer showed how you can have a good premise, explain yourself with a little bit of exposition and leave me wanting more with a great back beat. “Agnus Dei” by Rufus Wainright is one of the superlative uses of music that ever was this year. The trailer tugs at you while demanding you keep up with the story.

6. DAY NIGHT DAY NIGHT: For anyone who wants to talk about trailers always giving away too much of a film I’d like to introduce you to this trailer. Without so much of a scrap of background or context we’re given nothing to base any reason why we should go out and spend money to see this movie but it does not matter in the slightest. This trailer is eerie in ways that I can’t explain but I will say that it’s use of a voiceover is actually well-used and understated to the point of us feeling like interlopers into a moment we feel compelled to try and stop. We don’t know why we feel like something is going to happen, and it’s going to be bad, but the trailer takes the chance to not say anything one way or the other. It’s wonderfully daring and evocative. I can’t stand watching this trailer and not feeling a sense of unease. Mission accomplished in every sense of the word.

IN BRUGES (2008)

Director: Martin McDonagh Cast: Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Colin Farrell Release: February 8, 2008 Synopsis: IN BRUGES is the darkly comedic tale of the fates of hit men Ray (Farrell)and Ken (Gleeson). After a difficult job in London, the team is ordered by their boss Harry (Fiennes) to cool their heels in Bruges. Very much out of their comfort zones, the men find themselves drawn into increasingly dangerous entanglements with locals, tourists, and a film shoot. Soon, their perspectives on life and death are violently skewed.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. I have great affinity for this trailer for a couple of reasons.

One, I think we finally are given Colin Farrell in his natural habitat. You watch this thing and wonder what the hell happened with S.W.A.T., ALEXANDER, DAREDEVIL but then remember why MIAMI VICE and INTERMISSION were good examples of what he’s able to do. The guy has something but it just hasn’t blossomed in ways that some pretty boys turn that acting corner like Brad Pitt showed he could do after FIGHT CLUB and 12 MONKEYS.

Two, anyone who can use the word “retarded” and make it sound funny has got my vote.

I appreciate the way this trailer begins with a flash. There isn’t a quick cut or a thumping beat to make me feel like I’ve stepped into an MTV video for the movie. This trailer begins with a quite benign back and forth with a priest and Colin. It seems innocuous enough until Colin pops him.

Interesting.

The trailer slides easily into putting everything into context. In does it so well that by the time that Colin unleashes his comedic artistry it’s a wonder why there hasn’t been more said about why the It’s a Small World ride at Disneyland had to be “adjusted” due to the increasing weight of people (I’ll go on the record and say it’s mostly Americans). Colin glides right through this thing. Equal parts violent, amusing.

The whole idea of the film, that Colin has to wait two weeks in Belgium with his fellow hit man and await instructions of what to do, is so basic that it begs an answer as to why someone thought it was ripe for comedy.

Big-ups, huge praise, needs to be heaped on the narrative voice-over with regard to the letter that Colin reads from the big boss wondering where the two of them are (a case of cabin fever obviously set in and they wanted to take in some sights, insult the locals, that sort of thing) in a bleeped manner that I have never heard before during a narrative. It just made me appreciate the creativity.

What’s more is that when Ralph Fiennes enters the picture he just adds to what amounts to a true madcap adventure. The cat and mouse shootout that ensues is enough to make you wonder whether this is a comedy or an action/comedy or an action/comedy/adventure or something else entirely.

I would usually loathe the expression “And what’s more”¦” but I am going to employ it here to sum up what makes this film look like a real treat if, for nothing more than to hear Colin, in his Irish lip, talk about Bruges: “If I had grown up on a farm”¦and was retarded”¦Bruges might impress me. But I didn’t so it doesn’t”. The lilt in his voice is what really makes the dialogue snappy.

And, one more thing: Jordan Prentice. I know a lot of you didn’t get a chance to see one of my favorite independent movies of 2007, WEIRDSVILLE, he played a mall cop with a thirst for medieval vengeance but he plays the part of a man in this trailer that not only has an amusing quip about where to find a prostitute in Bruges but then becomes a hilarious punch line, literally, when he gets a karate chop to his neck.

I need to see this movie; I just hope to God all the best parts weren’t employed in the making of the trailer.

Win THE MOD SQUAD: SEASON ONE VOLUME 1 on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:02 am

Our holiday contest-a-palooza continues as we give away, in conjunction with Paramount Home Video, five (5) copies of THE MOD SQUAD: SEASON ONE VOLUME 1 on DVD.

THE MOD SQUAD featured three young, tough, and cooler-than-cool detectives whose covert unit did their part to bridge the generation gap and put the bad guys behind bars.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Friday, December 28th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Friday, December 28th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/21/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday… (Thingamabob)

December 20, 2007

Holiday Havoc: Jonathan Coulton

Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Quickcasts — Tags: , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:10 am

holidayhavocheader.jpg

holly.jpg

Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

Not us.

Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you (and you can check out last year’s fun here).

Ain’t that cool?

Today, we’ve got an exclusive track from cyber-troubadour Jonathan Coulton – an evil, evil man who must be destroyed.

Why this call to action? Because he’s immensely talented, an amazingly gifted songwriter, and his incredible creativity both intimidates a normal, ungifted person like myself and drives me to distraction with catchy tunes and wordplay.

Damn him to hell, I can’t stop listening to his music.

That includes his first album Smoke Monkey, his first EP, Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow, and the complete 4-disc collection of his online songwriting experiment, Thing-a-Week.

You can purchase all of his discs, plus other merch – as well as partake of more sonic goodness – at www.JonathanCoulton.com. While you’re over there, be sure to check out all 52 Things – and pick up his CDs. And pledge your life to him. That talented bastard. Until then, here’s an exclusive live version (performed at Johnny D’s in Somerville, MA) of his nontraditional Christmas tune “Chiron Beta Prime,” with a little help from professional singing persons Paul & Storm and a “robot” assist from “Scott”…

coulton.jpg

Download Jonathan Coulton’s live version of “Chiron Beta Prime“:

[display_podcast]

Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

holly.jpg

Party Favors: Malibu-Bye

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am

partyfavors1.jpg

MALIBU – Thankfully the Santa Ana flamed fires have spared my latest business venture. Having Satan for a silent partner has its advantages.

I’ve decided to give Promises and Dr. Drew a run for the star detox business by offering a revolutionary approach at The Party Favors Rehab Center and Hardcore Fighting Academy. We believe you can’t clean up your life until your clock is cleaned.

While other rehab centers will baby you with meatball psychiatry and compassion, your first day at PFRCHFC is all about wailing on your ass. You think your old man was hard on you, wait till our staff of trained “therapists” take you down into the Tyler Durden Memorial Basement for intense small group sessions. You won’t care about withdrawal pains since you’ll be too concerned about how many teeth you have left. Other rehab centers have you cleaning toilets. We’re going to use your head as a bowl brush. You’ll be gargling with Mr. Clean. We won’t have you making beds or doing laundry. You’re sleeping on the basement floor in a loin cloth. When you get out of our rehab center, the TMZ pests will dash away since you’ll smell like an animal that has been locked in the basement for six weeks.

Will you be cured? Not quite. You’ll still be addicted to alcohol, although now it will be applied to your flesh with cottonballs after your “break through” sessions.

For those of you who can “handle” your drinking, Party Favors is pleased to announce that it’s getting into premium booze business. We’ll be joining Jay-Z and Donald Trump on the top shelf. Instead of getting into the fancy vodka business, the Party Favors Distillery squeezes out high quality Moonshine.

Our two signature brands that’ll be clogging the aisles at Macy’s Liquor store are Granny’s XXX and Otis’ Secret Stash. Granny’s XXX comes in an authentic little brown jug. Originally the bottle was going to mention that it’s for medicinal purposes, but the FDA told us it wasn’t a cure for legitimate diseases. As if Restless Leg Syndrome is a real disease. If you suffer from drinking too much house paint, Granny’s XXX is guaranteed to peel the semi-gloss off your small intestine. Granny’s XXX comes in one flavor: harsh. We recommend you dilute it with Ronson lighter fluid.

Otis’ Secret Stash has a variety of flavors including Cherry, Peach, Strawberry and Pineapple. Instead of using bunch of artificial ingredients, we chop up the fruits and squeeze ’em into the bottle. You can put the diced delights on your morning pancakes as a hangover cure. The Pineapple is my favorite. If you eat a chunk of the shine soaked golden fruit, you’ll get a vision of Jack Lord.

While we use an authentic Southern recipe, our bottles promise that we don’t resort to an old car radiator as a condenser. Does Donald Trump promise that he doesn’t use his old Rolls Royce radiator on Trump Vodka? If the Donald drank a little Granny’s XXX, he’d grow a real haircut.

These are only the first two points of the Party Favors triangle of pleasure. We’re proud to announce our new bar at Las Vegas’s Zanzibar Casino and Hotel. ReTox opens on the 4th of July, 2008. The club’s slogan is “When you’re ready to fall off the wagon, we’ll catch you.” I can’t give too many details except we are in negotiations to lure Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears to host our “Screw the Chip” opening night. Plus we’ll be the future home to the Little Miss Booze pageant. Mondays will be 2 for 1 drink night for “graduates” of PFRCHFC.

We do offer gift cards in case you want to give a friend the present of booze, decadence or sobriety this holiday season. Party Favors wants to be your full-service alcohol abuse destination.

HATIN’ THE HOBBIT

Peter Jackson didn’t get any brotherly love in Philadelphia. My sources on the set of The Lovely Bones said the local crew was frustrated with the Oscar winning director. He’s described as being unprepared for the film.

The local crew members are used to working on M. Night Shyamalan’s films. He’s meticulous in his production work. He knows what he wants and they give it to him. They expected the same from Jackson seeing how he pulled off Lord of the Rings and King Kong. They joked that Jackson would have a CGI version of the film that they’d capture in the flesh.

Instead Jackson became notorious for arriving at the location without the rush to make movie history. When he did make a “artiste” decision, it didn’t produce applause. One incident described how Jackson demand a complicated multi-camera set up. The crew warned him that the moves weren’t going to work in the tight location space. He wouldn’t alter his plans. They spent hours setting it up. They were quietly hoping to be proven wrong by the man. They wanted to bask in his genius. After the first take; Jackson declared it a dud and scrapped his initial vision for the shot. He didn’t inspire trust amongst the natives.

Could this explain why Ryan Gosling is no longer the lead in the film? Rumors spread that Jackson found Gosling “demanding.” Perhaps Gosling was expecting Jackson to be more demanding?

Does Jackson always work like an anti-Roman Polanski? Did he wander onto the set and wait for the cinematic inspiration on Lord of the Rings? Or maybe leaving the land of Kiwis has thrown off his game. Philadelphia is a town that can suck the life out of you – just ask Terrell Owens and Santa. All that cheese steak can clog your mind. Does sound like Jackson’s tombstone will pay homage to W.C. Fields’ epitaph.

HOLLY GOLLY DVDS

The screenwriter’s strike continues so that means more time to spend with my DVD collection. Do I really need to see stars promote films that stunk up the screen last year? Here’s a few titles I’ve been enjoying and might great Christmas gifts for your special friends that aren’t happy with donations to the Human Fund.

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. The Third Season takes us back to Camp Henderson. While 1966 to 67 marked an escalation of the war in Vietnam, Gomer hadn’t a care about battling the Cong in a rice patty. His only wanted to keep Sgt. Carter happy. There’s not even a subtext of Vietnam in the scripts. It’s a beautiful alternate America that has Gomer defending it. “Gomer and the Little Green Men From Outer Space” has our favorite private receive a close encounter of the third kind. Naturally everyone thinks he’s gone nuts. The closest Gomer comes to shipped out to Asia is his tenure in a tiki bar watching Lou-Ann Poovie sing. Even though the nightclub has a Pacific island feel, we’re told it’s the Congo Club. Gomer Pyle’s basic mission was to entertain without making the viewers remember the evening news from Southeast Asia. Mission Accomplished.

Mod Squad, Season One, Volume One brings us the grooviest cops on the beat. Three troubled teens become undercover cops because of a strange plea deal. They’re sort of like La Femme Nikita as a ménage à trois minus the sexual tension. Linc’s a Watts revolutionary. Peter’s a rich kid from Beverly Hills. Julie’s a hippie chick from San Francisco. They infiltrate operations that the normal undercover cop couldn’t handle. Who would expect sweet little Julie to be the Man? The show has aged with a comic charm. There’s something hilarious about the prime time attitude towards the subculture. “A Time to Love – A Time to Cry” has a photographer tripping on LSD. While coming down, he discovers his model is dead. The Mod Squad sneak into an artists’ colony to discover the truth. If your only exposure to Mod Squad was that crapfest movie with Claire Danes, flush it from your mind. The series is so much better. Peggy Lipton is cutier. She’s perfect as the blonde California beach girl. This boxset contains the first 13 episodes that aired in the Fall of 1968.

Rawhide, Season Two, Volume Two brings us another heaping spoonful of Clint Eastwood on the range. The endless cattle drive continues with sixteen more episodes. “Incident of the Stargazer” has Buddy Ebsen which means you’ll see Barnaby Jones tangle with Dirty Harry. “Incident of the Dancing Death” gives Sam Peckinpah regular Warren Oates time with the cattle. “Incident of the Deserter” has the cook falls in love and start a restaurant in the wilderness. Can the crew live on Clint’s meals? What makes Rawhide great is they didn’t fake the show. They really are moving a herd of cows across the range. Clint isn’t standing by a rear projection screen faking it on a plastic horse.

Midnight Movies explores cult cinema that took hold when the clock struck twelve. We see how El Topo, Night of the Living Dead, Freaks, Reefer Madness, The Harder They Come, Pink Flamingos, Rocky Horror Picture Show and Eraserhead took hold in an era before VCRs. All the major people related to the films are interviewed. They all point out that Midnight Moviegoers preferred to smoke dope and use popcorn for their munchies. You might want to have a few of the featured films on DVD so you can launch into the late night magic afterward.

There’s no review for Saturday Night Live Season – The Complete Second Season since it has been whisked to a secure and secret location and won’t be revealed until Christmas morning. All you need to know is that this is the arrival of Bill Murray and the departure of Chevy Chase. A comedic win-win.

Any exercise video that begins with Carmen Electra saying, “Thank you so much for bringing me into your bedroom. I’m so happy to be here” moves to the top of the workout pile. Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease – In the Bedroom is more enjoyable than Todd Field’s In the Bedroom. The routine starts out with stretching on the floor in front of the bed. After ten minutes, Carmen moves the action onto the mattress. The isometric holds made me break a sweat. Carmen does wear her sneakers into bed, but that’s probably a gym rule. The second half workout features her in a Las Vegas hotel room with a view of the Wynn. She’s wearing a pair of heels for this more involved routine. To help her feel the burn, she slaps her butt. Did she clear that move with a physician? Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease – Vegas Strip has her start off the workout by saying, “The whole point of this series is to really feel your body. Don’t be afraid to touch yourself.” I’m overwhelmed with emotion at this affirmation. This routine is performed on the dance floor of the MGM Grand’s Studio 54. Carmen brought along two girlfriends. Once you’ve mastered these motions, you’ll be ready to tryout for the Pussycat Dolls. This DVD is more fun than my last stay on the Vegas Strip and nobody pesters you into visiting a time share resort.

The seventh wave of Disney Treasures DVDs are a must buy for Magic Kingdom freaks. The Adventures of Oswalt the Lucky Rabbit contains the surviving 13 cartoons featuring Walt’s pre-Mickey Mouse animated hero. He’s pretty much Mickey Mouse with longer ears. The second disc in the tin is dedicated to Ub Iwerks, the man who animated Disney’s early cartoons. The Chronological Donald Duck, Volume Three (1947 – 50) has 30 shorts featuring the squawking waterfowl. This collection features the introduction of Chip n Dale to torture Donald. The quality of the restoration on these shorts is better than Volume 2. Disneyland – Secrets, Stories & Magic skimps on the secrets. There’s zero talk of Club 33 – the hidden bar near Pirates of the Caribbean. The main film is about as probing as a Travel Channel special. The bonus features rule on this set especially Disneyland U.S.A, a cinemascope tour of the park from 1956. Annette Funicello twirls around in “The Golden Horseshoe Revue.” They throw a reproduction of the old ticket book in the tin. For folks who make pilgrimage’s to Anaheim and Orlando, you better grab this for your collection since they only pressed 50,000.

EVEL’S LAST JUMP

The true cause of Evel Knievel’s death won’t appear in the coroner’s report. What brought down the legendary daredevil was a fatal stunt he performed two days before his final sleep. He announced to the press that he had settled his public feud with Kanye West. They were friends. His peace with the rapper became the ramp that aimed him into the grave.

Evel broke every bone in his body. What kept him together for 69 years? Pure spite. Watch any interview with Evel and you’ll see him hold grudges against anyone he perceived screwed him over. A few years back on the Jim Rome radio show, Evel was ready to kick the ass of a kid from his elementary school days. In documentaries, there are hours of him cussing about the guy who engineered his rocket-cycle at Snake River. Once a person went on Evel’s list, they feared him showing up on their doorstep with a baseball bat.

Evel sued Kayne for ripping off the story of Snake River for the “Touch the Sky” video featuring “Evel Kaynevel.” Evel was pissed off that Kayne had used his daredevil image to “promote his filth to the world.” Two days before his passing, Evel announced they had settled the lawsuit. They posed for a picture as if they were best of pals. Evel told the press, “I thought he was a wonderful guy and quite a gentleman.” When Evel forgave Kayne, his body couldn’t deal with it since his heart was fueled with spite. Like putting sugar in the gas tank, Evel’s engine locked up. He overdosed on bygones.

Perhaps in heaven Evel will be reunited with the sharks from the tank in Chicago? Or maybe he’s swapping sucker punches with Norman Mailer? What we do know is that his ghost won’t be swinging a Louisville Slugger at Kanye’s dome.

SOUND OF THE SEASON

There are three 24/7 Christmas radio stations in my town. Why? There’s more Christmas music on the dial than rock. They started the “Jingle Bell Rock” a week before Thanksgiving. What’s irritating is the simple fact that there might be thousands of Christmas records, but each on of them has the same 15 songs. Did you know you can program a solid nine days of nothing but “The Little Drummer Boy” without repeating an artist? Bet the guys in Gitmo don’t get the aural torture that greets a mall employee for their 10 hour shift at the Sunglass Hut.

RANDOM TV NOTES

When will ATT run a commercial with Dick Cheney telling us how he spends his time in secure and secret locations, meeting with people that must remain private, attending off-the-record conferences and relaxing in his man-sized safe? Dick declares at the end, “I need a phone that works where I live. A place I call Noneofyourfnbusinessaholes.”

When is John Cho going to end up on Dancing With the Stars? The Harold and Kumar Go to the White Castle star must seduce America with his twinkle toes.

Lifetime’s America’s Psychic Challenge needs to have the ultimate final test: Pick the winning numbers of all the major lotteries for that week. Wouldn’t you want to tune in for that episode? You give me the Powerball digits and you’ve earned the title. Lifetime’s got a great new title for a show: How to Look Good Naked. Why isn’t this series on HBO? These people won’t be naked cause they’ll always have those blur splotches on their bodies. We don’t need more teaser TV.

This gives me hope for my upcoming series: Do You Mind If I Put My Private Parts In Your Mouth? It’s based off the BBC 4 show Schlong Along My Ding Dong. We’re hoping to land Andy Dick as the host. He’s already developing our new MTV series, How Bad Are You Willing to Break Into Showbiz. As Art Linkloser once said, “Desperate attention whores make the best contestants.”

How come for all the publicity for I Am Legend not one of the suck up infotainment shows are willing to admit this film is a remake of Last Man on Earth and Omega Man? Is the Fresh Prince ashamed of being connected to Vincent Price and Charlton Heston? On Entertainment Tonight, the director of the film claimed that an element of Will’s character was something they created. Note to Francis Lawrence: you didn’t think that hard. Your genius idea was featured in the earlier films. Will Smith is the third last person on the planet.

Did Tom Hanks think he was playing Dean Martin in Charlie Wilson’s War? The shot of him in the tux with the tumbler is only short Jerry Lewis to be a full Dino impersonation.

I’m still irritated that certain cable channels run the closing credits of movies beneath the opening of their next movie. They shrink and squish the already tiny type. What’s the point? Can you really read any of that. Even used car dealers can’t defend that font size and crawl speed. It’s Morse code in fast forward. It’s time they just kill the credits instead of allowing this farce to continue.

What’s the point of seeing the Spice Girls reunion if they won’t wear their old outfits? Didn’t Scary Spice’s name come from her wardrobe that even Beyonce’s mom wouldn’t design? Is she really Sporty Spice without sneakers? Can we embrace a mature Baby Spice? What’s the point in watching Ginger perform without her Union Jack corset and platform boots? Do we need to see them as five fashionable ladies – as if they all morphed into Posh Spice? Were they really about the music and not the marketing?

WHY BUZZ ON THE HORNET?

For the past five years The Green Hornet has been near the top of my most wanted TV shows on DVD. I had never seen a complete episode outside of the Batman crossover episode, but I wanted to see Bruce Lee in action. Plus the show was made by the folks who produced Batman. How could it not amaze me? American Life channel now runs the show on Friday nights. After watching four episodes, it’s off the buy list.

There was a reason this series lasted only one season. It’s lackluster. Bruce Lee gets completely misused. Bruce has great moves, but he only gets put in a kick or two before his opponent falls to the ground like an Italian soccer player. Capt. Kirk and James West didn’t have such fragile villains. Why does Kato work for the Green Hornet? He spends the whole day working as the houseboy for Britt Reid, the communications emperor. Then at night, he has to change uniforms and drive the millionaire around town hunting for bad guys. Can’t Britt pay Kato enough cash so that he only has to work one job. Bruce Wayne didn’t make Dick Grayson work two gigs. Alfred kept Wayne manor in order. Kato should have kicked Green Hornet in the head for being such a cheap ass taskmaster.

Why does Hollywood want to bring this character to the big screen? The only way I can see this film working is Green Hornet vs. Kato. The plot can revolve on Kato finally getting sick of Green Hornet’s “Time to lean, time to clean up the city” policy. Green Hornet tries to use his media empire to ruin Kato’s reputation since it’s obvious that sidekick is the real force of the operation.

TYLER PERRY VS TYLER PERRY

When will Tyler Perry sue the makers of This Christmas for making a Tyler Perry film that didn’t involve Tyler Perry? There had to be at least one person per screening wondering where’s the guy dressed up as an old woman.

TV STAR OF 2007!

Why don’t they change the name of Rule of Engagement to the The Patrick Warburton Show? Patrick Warburton owns the series. Why exactly is David Spade in the cast? To insure a cameo from Rob Schnider for season three? Whenever Warburton is off the screen, the show loses steam. Two consecutive scenes without him and I’m writing my Congressman to get Warburton back on the screen. It’s torture! Does Donal Logue get jealous when he turns on the show and sees Warburton getting frisky with Megyn Price? She looks sexier without the burden of three TV children and Kevin Corrigan creeping around the house.
Between Rules of Engagement and The Venture Brothers, Warburton is the king of TV comedy for 2007. When’s he going to have an HBO show so we can hear him cuss up a storm?

TV’s Crossover star of the year is Lexington Steele. One of the big studs of the porn world (and less hairy than Ron Jeremy) has snuck on the rather adult shows of Nip/Tuck and Weeds in the last few months. Lex seems to be poised to get a Saturday morning show in Brazil at this rate.

Moving the doctors of Nip/Tuck to Los Angeles has goosed the show. Not that things were getting to staid in Miami, but the plastic people of Hollywood are perfect fodder for McNamara-Troy. What can be better than casting a Bo Duke as a porn producer? A tribute to the infamous hottub poop clip showed how it can be faked.

BITE STEVE

Is Steve Buscemi really voicing a gingerbread man in a Go Phone commercial? He’s funny looking gingerbread man, you know?

BUMP HER

How come you never see the tabloids spreading rumors that Janeane Garofalo is pregnant? They fight to spot the bulge on Angelina Jolie and Jessica Simpson. But why not start a pregnancy watch on Sarah Silverman? Why isn’t Winona Ryder assumed to be hiding triplets beneath her trenchcoat? How about Bea Arthur? Why aren’t her “sources” claiming she’s eager to put a bun in her oven. What man does she has want to coat her in baby batter? That guy from High School Musical 2. I’d buy that copy of US Weekly. If Jennifer Lopez can get knocked up, why not Maude?

Win McFarlane Toys GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS Figures!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:02 am

Our holiday contest-a-palooza continues as we give away, in conjunction with McFarlane Toys, THE GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS action figures.

Perfect for your holiday decorating needs, the first wave of How The Grinch Stole Christmas toys based are on Chuck Jones’s animated adaptation of the Dr. Seuss classic. The sculpting work is spot on – particularly when you put the dioramas together and create the aforementioned perfect holiday decoration. The initial wave features “All I Need Is A Reindeer”, “Two Sizes Too Small”, “Cindy Lou Who”, “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”, and the deluxe diorama “The Grinch & Max On Mt. Crumpit”.

Each of five (5) winners will receive one figure from the wave listed above.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Thursday, December 27th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Thursday, December 27th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/20/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Let’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year… (Thingamabob)

December 19, 2007

Scrubs Blog: My Horsey

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:10 am

scrubsheader.jpg


VIDEO BLOG #100: “My Horsey” ““
This week, J.D. and Turk encounter a uni-horned creature of myth… or do they?… as we go behind-the-scenes of this sequence from episode 7×06, “My #1 Doctor”.

line3.gif

scrubs2007-12-191.jpg

Download Scrubs Video Blog #100:

Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 37.21 MB)
Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 16.36 MB)

[display_podcast]

##

 

 

Holiday Havoc: Opie & Anthony

Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Quickcasts — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am

holidayhavocheader.jpg

holly.jpg

Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

Not us.

Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you (and you can check out last year’s fun here).

Ain’t that cool?

Today we’ve got a trio of “From The Archives” tracks from our good friends at Opie & Anthony, featuring Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, and Jim Norton. Also included is the now legendary dust-up between Kevin and the late Joel Siegel.

opieanthonyhavoc.jpg

Download Kevin Smith & Jason Mewes on Opie & Anthony:

[display_podcast]

Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

holly.jpg

Win THE KINGDOM on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:02 am

Our holiday contest-a-palooza continues as we give away, in conjunction with Universal Home Video, five (5) copies of THE KINGDOM on DVD.

Jamie Foxx leads an all-star ensemble cast including Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper, Jason Bateman and Jeremy Piven in this explosive action-packed thriller directed by Peter Berg about an elite FBI team sent to Saudi Arabia to stop a terrorist before he strikes again.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Wednesday, December 26th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December 26th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/19/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Grandma got run over by a… Well, you know… (Thingamabob)

December 18, 2007

SModcast 41

Filed under: SModcast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:07 pm

newhead2.jpg

SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

line.gif

SModcast 41: Honkey! –

In which our heroes get into a discussion of the white man’s lack of reclaimed cultural terms of endearment before launching into an even more in-depth exploration of cultural terminology, try to come up with words to hurt each other, turn their sights on sites that feature comments that aim to be mean for mean’s sake, read a very special piece of listener mail, debate the history of the Christmas Tree in relation to self-mutilation, and wrap up with another dip into the SModcast mailbag, the best Oscar’s ever, and a Bat-Quickie.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 41 (MP3 format) – 48.25 MB

[display_podcast]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes
Subscribe to this Podcast via FeedBurner

Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

line.gif

CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

line.gif

##

Toy Box: It’s beginning to look a lot like… zombies!

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 12:26 am

toybox.jpg

If you have one of those hard to buy for pop culture addicts on your list, or maybe someone with a twisted appreciation for the undead, or just somebody that loves horror, then I have the perfect gift idea for you!

A few years ago, Sideshow Collectibles started a line of 12″ in house designed zombies called The Dead. Since then, they’ve released an ever increasing number of the undead into our lives, each one better than the last. They also have other items that proclaim your love of all things flesh eating, like t-shirts and sweat shirts with The Dead logo on the front.

But for Christmas, they decided to go all out and produce a very nifty The Dead zombie ornament. For just $10 plus shipping, you can bring home this delightful yuletide brain eater.

If you have any questions or comments, drop me a line at mwc@mwctoys.com. On to the review!

The Undead Christmas Ornament

I have this guy already on my tree. And he gets a lot more attention and comments than Winnie the Pooh!

toybox_121807_1.jpg

Packaging – **
Normally, Sideshow does amazing packaging. The Dead line tends to be very minimalist though, and that’s the route they went here. There’s actually a sticker on the back that has The Dead logo on it, but the front, sides and top are completely white. The window shows off the ornament well enough though, so I’m not bothered by the plain white container.

toybox_121807_2.jpg

What does bug the crap out of me is the styrofoam insert. This time they went with the cheaper, lighter stuff that falls apart in your hands, and I hate this stuff. By next Christmas, it’s going to be in several pieces, and useless for storing the ornament.

Sculpting – ****
Wow! This might just be an ornament, but this is my favorite zombie head sculpt they’ve produced!

The nice thing is that it’s done in sixth scale, so it actually fits in with the figures. The detail work on it is amazing, with some truly realistic rot around the exposed skull and nasal cavity. It’s not all the sculpt – the paint goes a long way too – but this head sculpt has some of the best detail we’ve seen in the line.

toybox_121807_3.jpg

The zombie is coming up over and out of the ornament itself. The right hand is reaching out menacingly, while the bared teeth show his true intent. And it’s to eat Carols, not sing them. The bulb itself is actually plastic, and not glass, but the seam along the side is fairly tight and difficult to see unless you inspect it closely.

toybox_121807_4.jpg

Now here’s the real beauty part – the head and hand can be removed from the bulb with a little effort! That means you can grab yourself a spare body, tear up some extra clothes, and put together ANOTHER zombie in your The Dead line! Sounds like you better buy two of these guys, one for the tree and one for a custom.

Paint – ****
Great sculpts can be ruined by mediocre paint. But great paint can take the sculpt to a whole new level, elevating the realism and life-like nature. And while this guy wouldn’t technically be ‘alive’, the paint does bring out the detail and the coloring in a way that’s truly life-like.

toybox_121807_5.jpg

The glassy right eye looks amazing. The subtle difference in color between the graying skin and exposed skull is remarkable. Even the work on the teeth and nose are above average, even for companies like Medicom or Hot Toys. If every sixth scale figure produced by Sideshow had paint that looked like this, they’d have no competition in the category.

Design – ***1/2
I have to admit that the plastic ball ends up pulling a half star off this category, along with the lack of anything particularly ‘Christmasy’ about it. On the one hand, I’m quite happy that he lacks a silly Santa hat (for example), because that makes it much easier to produce a nifty custom with the head and hand. OTOH, I really would like it to be more festive, and besides – if he was wearing a Santa hat, wouldn’t he make a terrific zombie Santa custom? In fact, I just might have to try that out anyway…

toybox_121807_6.jpg

Still, he’s going to look terrific on just about anyone’s tree.

toybox_121807_7.jpg

Value – ***
If you’ve been in a Hallmark store lately, you know how damn expensive good ornaments are. Most of the regular ones cost $12 – $15, and are rarely this large – or this detailed in sculpt and paint. At $10, he’s a solid value, even after you add in the extra shipping cost.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not a thing. Other than your wife freakin’ out when she see’s it hanging between her 2006 Barbie and the ‘Our First Christmas’ ornaments.

Overall – ****
This was one of the best surprises I’ve had in quite awhile, at least when it comes to pop culture collectibles. It really did turn out amazingly well, and is going to be a perennial addition to my tree. Unless my wife ‘accidently’ breaks it. I ordered two though, just in case.

If you do pick up one or two to make custom zombies, please drop me a photo. I’d love to see your creativity in action! And steal your ideas for myself, of course.

Where to Buy –
You can pick him up at Sideshow right now for $10!

Related Links –
I’ve reviewed only one of the previous The Dead figures, although I’ve bought the whole line. I covered Subject 5, the zombie security guard. If you’re a zombie fan in general, you should also check out:

– the Peril Unlimited 12″ zombie, the GITD Flesh Eating Zombies, and the recent Shaun of the Dead 2 pack.

– my review of Cult Classics 4 that included the plaid shirt zombie from Dawn of the Dead and the zombie fighter Shaun from Shaun of the Dead; and the Cult Classics 3 Flyboy Zombie from Night of the Living Dead.

– then there’s my review of Earl, from Mezco’s line Attack of the Living Dead.

– check out the Marvel Legends monster boxed set that included the zombie from Tales of the Zombie.

– SOTA recently released the Land of the Dead figures.

– and don’t forget the cool (but expensive) zombies from the sixth scale Dust series.

Win RUSH HOUR 3 on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:17 am

Our holiday contest-a-palooza continues as we give away, in conjunction with New Line Home Video, five (5) copies of RUSH HOUR 3 on DVD.

Reunite with the hilarious duo of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker as their unique, east-meets-west trademark style of crime-fighting and high-kicking antics continues in Rush Hour 3, arriving on DVD from New Line Home Entertainment on December 23, 2007.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Tuesday, December 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, December 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/18/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

December 17, 2007

The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 102 – Deck The Howls

Filed under: Holiday Havoc,The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:53 am

fredhembeckheader.jpg

hembeck2007-12-17-01.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-02.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-03.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-04.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-05.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-06.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-07.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-08.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-09.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-10.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-11.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-12.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-13.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-14.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-15.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-16.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-17.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-18.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-19.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-20.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-21.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-22.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-23.gif

hembeck2007-12-17-24.gif

THAT should silence the critics who’ve said The Fred Hembeck Show has lost its bite!Well, gang, until next full moon – or thereabouts – stop on over at my Fred Sez blog to keep up on my latest doin’s! Adios for now!

So, see you next time – WHENEVER that may be!!

–Copyright 2007 Fred Hembeck

Win a Christmas Ornament From THE OFFICE and a HEROES comic!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:01 am

Our holiday contest-a-palooza continues as we give away, in conjunction with NBC Rewind, an Christmas Ornament from THE OFFICE and a HEROES comic book.

Keep missing your favorite shows this holiday season? Is it because you have too many parties to attend? Or because your in-laws keep stealing your remote? Well, NBC.com has the perfect gift for you! You can catch up on your favorite NBC shows such as The Office, Chuck and 30 Rock on NBC Rewind! To catch-up, re-watch, or get to know a new show, just go to NBC.com (www.nbc.com/Video/) and watch full streaming episodes for free!

Contest ends at midnight EST on Monday, December 24th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Monday, December 24th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/17/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Watch it while it lasts – A Charlie Brown Christmas, Part 1… (Thingamabob)

December 14, 2007

Weekend Shopping Guide 12/14/07: To The Moon, Gomer

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:39 am

weekendshopping.jpg

The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

Who’d have thought that, 3 flicks in, the Bourne franchise would be still be going strong – and, in some ways, even improving? The Bourne Ultimatum (Universal, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.98 SRP) finds Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) in pursuit of the agents that stole his memory and true identity. The action is equal parts explosive and cerebral, and all the better for it. Bonus materials include an audio commentary with director Paul Greengrass, deleted scenes, and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

blankguide.gif

Strike another one from the list, as the farcical escapades of the Dr. Crane and his family come to an end with the release of the 10th season of Frasier (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). Due to an odd release of the 11th and final season early on, this penultimate set is the last to hit shelves. The 4-disc set contains all 24 episodes.

blankguide.gif

Space nerd that I am, I was geekily fascinated by The Lunar Exploration Scrapbook: A Pictorial History of Lunar Vehicles (Apogee Books, $36.95 SRP). As the title so directly relates, it’s a compendium of photos, diagrams, blueprints, and designs for the numerous vehicles that have landed on or traversed the landscape of our moon.

blankguide.gif

Well gawwwwwlly, it’s time for another season of Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). The 5-disc set features all 30 third season episodes, but its lack of episode makes me longing for a commentary track from Nabors.

blankguide.gif

Years after the end of his much-missed Comedy Central series Insomniac, Dave Attell returns with a new HBO comedy special, Captain Miserable (HBO, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). In his first special for the pay channel, Attell is the same loveable slob we remember and love, only this time he’s live on stage in Washington, DC. Bonus features include additional footage and a trio of featurettes.

blankguide.gif

The High School Musical phenomenon has completely passed me by. From what little I know, it’s some kind of crazy cult that’s been systematically brainwashing the youth of America. It’s only natural, then, that there’s a High School Musical 2 (Walt Disney, Not Rated, DVD-$29.99 SRP) – which is needed to keep the brainwashing from lapsing. Bonus features include a rehearsal cam, music videos, karaoke, a sing-along feature, and an exclusive music scene.

blankguide.gif

For many fans, the third season of Lost (Buena Vista, Not Rated, DVD-$59.99 SRP) is became the bridge too far. The first half of the season is generally considered to be a mess, and proof that the producers really didn’t know where they were going. To give them credit, though, they managed to mostly recover the ball in time for the mind-bending season finale. The 7-disc box set features all 23 episodes, plus audio commentaries, deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and more.

blankguide.gif

After the revelation of their polygamist ways at the end of the first season, the second season of Big Love (HBO, Not Rated, DVD-$59.99 SRP) finds the extended Henrickson clan trying to weather the ensuing storm, as patriarch Bill (Bill Paxton) must deal with the evil scheming of father-in-law Roman Grant (Harry Dean Stanton), and third wife Margene’s pregnancy and attempts to bring a new wife into the family. The 4-disc set features all 12 episodes, plus a trio of prequels set before the beginning of the first season.

blankguide.gif

By the third season of Beverly Hills 90210 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$54.99 SRP), the show was fully aware that it was in control of the pop culture zeitgeist, and decided to ramp up the melodrama and glamour factors accordingly. Oh, and more sideburns. The 8-disc set features all 29 episodes, plus a trio of featurettes.

blankguide.gif

It’s not a Wii, but if you want to get an easy-to-play Harry Potter game for the younger set, your best bet is the Harry Potter Interactive DVD Game: Hogwarts Challenge (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP). The DVD-based game – playable by just about everyone with a DVD player – sports 14 different games for up to 4 players, all of which require nothing more than your DVD remote.

blankguide.gif

Courtney Cox’s first post-Friends TV role finds her starring as Lucy Spiller, the editor-in-chief of Hollywood’s most influential gossip mag in Dirt (Buena Vista, Not Rated, DVD-$59.99 SRP). The 4-disc complete first season features all 13 episodes, plus deleted scenes, a trio of behind-the-scenes featurettes, outtakes, and more.

blankguide.gif

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

##

Comics in Context #206: Blaze Of Glory

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 1:23 am

comicsincontext4.jpg

cic2007-12-14.jpgLike many of you, I used to visit my local comic book store every week, usually on the day that the new comics went on sale. Nowadays, though, my visits are more likely once a month. Part of the reason is that I work out of home, but even so, if I wanted to, I could make the effort to stop by a comics store on each of my weekend prowls about Manhattan. The real reason I go to comics stores infrequently (by comics culture standards) is that I long ago lost that fannish eagerness to see the latest issue of an ongoing series. Every once in awhile, I check in to a longrunning Marvel or DC series to find out what’s going on, or to judge the work of its current writer for myself. And in almost every instance I find myself disappointed and unmotivated to pick up the following issue.

But last month brought an exception to what has become the rule. On the day that Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Black Dossier went on sake, I made a special trip into Manhattan, with no other reason than to pick up a copy of the book. I started reading the Dossier on the subway trip home. Once back home I went into lockdown mode, as I hadn’t since the last Harry Potter book (see “Comics in Context #187: “All Hallows Eve”).

I read continuously to about the halfway point, when I abruptly wondered if Jess Nevins had already begun annotating the Black Dossier on his website. An authority on Victorian popular literature, Nevins has written two “unofficial” companion books to the League, published by MonkeyBrain Press: Heroes and Monsters, about the first volume of League (see “Comics in Context” #37: “High Noon for Mutants”), and A Blazing World, about the second volume (see “Comics in Context” #66: “A Christmas Potpourri”), each containing an enormous list of annotations plus essays about the source material for League, and interviews with Moore.

Checking Nevins’ website I discovered that, yes, he had: as it turned out, Nevins had been sent an advance copy of the Dossier. So then I began plowing through Nevins’ astonishingly lengthy list of annotations for the first half of Dossier, before finishing the second half and its annotations on the following day.

Not only that, but I spotted two gaps in the Dossier annotations. League heroine Mina Murray has a music hall poster that gives top billing to the team of Lewis and Clark (not the famous explorers of the same names). I fired off an e-mail to Jess Nevins, explaining that “Lewis and Clark” were the vaudeville team from Neil Simon’s play The Sunshine Boys. For the following two weeks I sent additional annotations to Nevins, most of which he accepted for use on his site. And I was far from alone: there was a veritable League of Extraordinary Annotators who sent in supplementary annotations to Nevins’ list, including artist Kevin O’Neill and even the legendary fantasy writer Michael Moorcock, some of whose own characters are alluded to by Moore in the Dossier. You can see the massive annotations list here, and Nevins will further expand it for his Black Dossier companion book, Impossible Territories, which MonkeyBrain Press will publish in July 2008. And good heavens, I just checked, and Nevins has updated the Dossier annotations yet again (as of December 10)!

Longtime readers of this column already know about my enthusiasm for Moore and O’Neill’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (see “Comics in Context” #22 : “Major League” and Comics in Context” #23: “An Extraordinary Trio”). For those who came in late, the League postulates an alternate history in which the characters of fiction–from both literary classics and popular culture–exist and interact. Every character with a speaking role in League is either a character from a preexisting work of fiction or a relative of such a character. In the original series, set in the 1890s, Moore and O’Neill introduced a “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,” comprised of Mina Murray from Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Allan Quatermain from H. Rider Haggard’s King Solomon’s Mines and other works, Captain Nemo of Jules Verne’s Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea, Mr. Hyde from Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the title character of H. G. Wells’ The Invisible Man, as a team of special operatives for the British government. In the first series the League intervened in a war between the criminal masterminds Professor Moriarty (from Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories) and Dr. Fu Manchu (who went unnamed since he is still under copyright); in the second series followed the League’s role in combating the archetypal Martian invasion chronicled in H. G. Wells’ The War of the Worlds.

Moore’s original motive in co-creating the League was to explore the roots of the superhero genre. Hence, the 1890s League resembles a superhero team, and even includes a few members with super-powers (Hyde and the Invisible Man); even the series’ title seems to allude to the Justice League and the X-Men with their “extraordinary” abilities.

Moore realized that League provided him with the opportunity to explore the entire history of fiction. In the second League series, by means of a continuing text feature, “The New Traveller’s Almanac,” Moore laid out much of the history of this alternate Earth, incorporating fictional characters from works ranging as far back as ancient classical literature, and other characters from beyond the 1890s, well into the twentieth century.

The principal story in Black Dossier is set in the Britain of 1958. Founding League members Mina Murray and Allan Quatermain, who are lovers, have become eternally young immortals, thanks to their immersion in the Fires of Life from H. Rider Haggard’s “She” novels, as suggested in the Almanac in the second series. (And yes, getting Mina out of her previous Victorian costumes provides O’Neill with numerous occasions to demonstrate his skill at attractively drawing the female form.) Warned by Winston Churchill, Mina and Allan severed their ties with the British government following World War II and left for America. In the postwar years, Britain fell under the totalitarian dictatorship described by George Orwell in hs novel 1984: since 1984 was actually published in 1948, that’s when the events of the novel took place in League‘s world. By 1958 the 1984 regime has fallen, and Mina and Allan return to England to locate and steal British intelligence’s “Black Dossier,” its file of reports on the League’s history.

But British intelligence is now headed by Harry Lime, the amoral mastermind created by writer Graham Greene in the 1949 film The Third Man, and one of his foremost operatives is a ruthless, womanizing assassin who calls himself “Jimmy.” The latter is a thinly veiled version of James Bond, who teams up with a very young female operative who is skilled in martial arts named Emma Night. Dedicated fans of the 1960s television series The Avengers may know that the episode “The House that Jack Built” established that the maiden name of the series foremost heroine, Mrs. Emma Peel, is Knight (see “Comics in Context” #52: “Mod as a Hornet” and #53: “The A-Files”). One couple, “Jimmy” and Miss Knight, is out to stop their counterparts, Allan and Mina.

Though this storyline is the heart of Black Dossier, it also serves as a frame for excerpts from the “Black Dossier” itself. Black Dossier the graphic novel is an postmodern collage of different formats. Moore and O’Neill recount the 1958 exploits of Allan and Mina in familiar comics form, no different from that of League Volumes 1 and 2, save for the final pages..

But various documents from the Black-Dossier-within-the-Black-Dossier take the form of O’Neill’s recreations of earlier styles of comics and cartoon art, from a political cartoon in the style of the 18th century cartoonist James Gillray (see “Comics in Context” #72: “F. O. G.”) to a comics version of a sequence from Orwell’s 1984 presented in the style of a pornographic “Tijuana Bible.” Other visual experiments by Moore and O’Neill range from picture postcards to credits pages in the form of a parody of the London Underground map. The most spectacular visual tour de force in Dossier comes in its final pages, in which Mina and Allan’s visit to the fourth-dimensional “Blazing World” is depicted in a 3-D comics sequence, with 3-D glasses attached to the inside back cover.

Other Dossier documents are text pieces in which Moore utilizes different styles, formats, and narrative voices, presenting, for example, government reports on the League and an excerpt from the memoirs of Campion Bond, James’s grandfather, who was a character in League volumes 1 and 2. More significantly, Moore experiments with recreating the styles of other authors: William Shakespeare in two scenes from a “lost” play Faeries’ Fortunes Founded, part of a sequel to the 18th century erotic novel Fanny Hill, a P. G. Wodehouse pastiche in which Jeeves and Bertie Wooster encounter not only the League but also a supernatural menace out of the H. P. Lovecraft mythos, and The Crazy Wide Forever, an imitation of Jack Kerouac’s Beat novel On the Road, which marks its fiftieth anniversary this year.

Through such “documents” in the dossier-within-the-Dossier, Moore further explores and establishes the history of the League’s world, both before and after the stories of League‘s first two volumes. For example, Prospero, the sorcerer who is the protagonist of Shakespeare’s The Tempest, also appears in Faeries’ Fortunes Founded; in the Almanac Moore had already established that Prospero was the founder of the original League of Extraordinary Gentlemen in the 17th century. The second incarnation of the League, in the 18th century, was headed by Lemuel Gulliver of Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels, and included Fanny Hill, who appears in another of the Dossier‘s pastiches.

Initially I found the pseudo-Kerouac style in which Moore wrote The Crazy Wide Forever nearly impenetrable, although once some of the Extraordinary Annotators supplied keys to its plot, the pastiche finally made sense to me on my third try at reading it.

I’ve never read Kerouac, but the stream of conscuousness style of The Crazy Wide Forever, and its profusion of puns, reminded me of James Joyce. This is no accident, since Kerouac was greatly influenced by Joyce’s work (see the excerpt from Kerouac: The Definitive Biography by Paul Maher). I see that there is even an academic essay, “”˜I Dig Joyce’: Jack Kerouac and Finnegans Wake“ by Michael H. Begnal, from the March 22, 1998 Philological Quarterly.
I wonder if Alan Moore is also consciously following the lead of Joyce in his Black Dossier. In his landmark novel Ulysses Joyce not only employs the stream of consciousness technique, most famously in Molly Bloom’s soliloquy in the concluding “Penelope” chapter, but employs a variety of formats and styles in other chapters. For example, the “Ithaca” chapter is modeled on a catechism. with questions and answers. The “Circe” chapter is written as a script for a play, which grows increasingly surreal. The “Cyclops” chapter is primarily narrated in the first person, but includes extended passages in over thirty different narrative styles which Joyce utilizes for satiric purposes.

Moreover, in Ulysses and even more so in Finnegans Wake, Joyce fills his work with allusions and references that academics have been busily tracking down for decades. Similarly, the League books seem like bottomless pits filled with literary and historical references that a good number of us have been striving to decode. Jess Nevins is to Alan Moore on League what Stuart Gilbert was to James Joyce on Ulysses: the first person to publish a key to the mysteries of a book, that was unofficial yet had the author’s approval.

It is evident that Moore is attempting to do Shakespeare pastiches in two sections of the book. Whereas, as far as I’m concerned, Moore does a perfect mimicry of P. G. Wodehouse in Dossier, imitating Shakespeare is a far harder task. To my mind, Moore skillfully copies the form of a Shakespeare play in Faeries’ Fortunes Founded, but it comes off as hollow; he does not, perhaps cannot, come close to matching the poetic heights one expects from actual Shakespeare. But I think Moore is much more successful in the speech he gives Prospero in the concluding pages of Black Dossier, perhaps because it fervently expresses what appear to be Moore’s own ideas on the importance of the imagination. Ironically, Prospero’s last speech in Dossier seems to contradict some of what Prospero says in Shakespeare’s The Tempest.

Towards the end of the Black Dossier, Mina and Allan journey to “the Blazing World,” which first appeared in a work published in 1666 as an archipelago of islands extending from the North Pole nearly down to the British Isles. Moore presents the Blazing World as a single island that, though accessible from three-dimensional Earth, apparently exists on another plane of reality share time is “a physical dimension, so it’s all happening at once” (Dossier p. 184, panel 1). The Blazing World therefore exists beyond conventional time, in what may be eternity. Within the Blazing World sequence Moore and O’Neill depict Prospero and Fanny Hill, both members of former incarnations of the League, and both alive and well. All sorts of other characters from literature and even comics make cameos in the Dossier‘s Blazing World sequence.

Moore’s version of the Blazing World is therefore like a heaven for the fictional characters of our world, who are real people in the world of League. Apparently they can exist there for eternity. This raises the question as to why Alan and Mina, or anyone else who is allowed entry to the Blazing World, would return to the mortal world, where they might die.

Inhabited by fictional characters, the Blazing World is metaphorically and perhaps literally a realm of the imagination. “I’m sure I used to dream about this place, when I was a little girl,” says Mina. Allan responds, “I think I caught a glimpse of the Blazing World in a vision once, during my opium years.” (Dossier, p. 178, panel 1). As I observe in Nevins’ Black Dossier annotations, O’Neill’s depiction of the Blazing World bears resemblances to the literal dream world of Winsor McCay’s Little Nemo in Slumberland. You could think of the Blazing World as a more joyous version of the Dreaming in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman.

The Black Dossier concludes with a speech by Prospero, the founder of the original League, who begins, “For truly is our cavalcade now done. . . “ (Dossier p. 190, panel 1). This evokes the first line of Prospero’s most famous speech in The Tempest, following a play-within-a-play, like the masques of the early Jacobean period, that was enacted by spirits he had conjured up:

“Our revels are now ended. These our actors
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air;
And. like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like the insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made of, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.” (Act IV, Scene i, lines 162-172)

Prospero likes to refer to his prowess in magic as his “art.” In this speech Prospero (who admittedly is in a foul mood at this point) dismisses the creation of his “art,” the masque performed by the spirits, as an “insubstantial pageant,” a “vision” with a baseless fabric,” an illusion lacking in reality. Thus, perhaps, Shakespeare, if he is speaking his own mind through Prospero, perceives the creations of art, including his own as playwright, as transitory, perhaps even empty of lasting substance. Moreover, Prospero observes that the real world is not eternal, either, and that not only the “gorgeous “palaces”–man’s architectural works–but even “the great globe itself” will someday come to an end. (The “great globe” may have a double meaning, both to the earth and to the Globe Theatre, where most of Shakespeare’s plays were performed. Thus Shakespeare may be reiterating a belief that art does not last forever.)

Furthermore, Prospero points out that people are mortal, as well. The “sleep” that rounds each person’s “little”–meaning short–life is nonexistence, before his birth and after his death. “We are such stuff as dreams are made of” has multiple meanings. If nonexistence is sleep, then life is like a waking dream, an illusion that lasts but a brief time. The “dreams” that are “made” upon us might be a reference to art, such as The Tempest itself. One might also argue that our lives are “dreams” in the imagination of the ultimate creative artist, God.

The Tempest is the final play that Shakespeare composed without collaborators. Traditionally, it has been interpreted as bidding his farewell to the stage through the character of Prospero, who regards his magic as his “art,” and who acts as a sort of playwright and director in The Tempest, staging situations through which he manipulates the other characters. (It suddenly occurs to me that The Tempest is like a high art version of Survivor.) Just as Shakespeare was heading into retirement, so too Prospero decides to return from exile and give up the practice of his art, magic:

“But this rough magic
I here abjure, and, when I have required
Some heavenly music, which even now I do,
To work mine end upon their senses that
This airy charm is for, I’ll break my staff,
Bury it certain fathoms in the earth,
And deeper than did ever plummet sound
I’ll drown my book.” (Act V Scene i, lines 54-58)

The book is his book of spells, and his staff is like his magic wand, like Gandalf’s staff in Lord of the Rings.

Christianity doesn’t approve of magic, so presumably Prospero would have to give up sorcery upon returning to society as Duke of Milan. If we interpret Prospero’s “art” as a metaphor for Shakespeare’s own, then Shakespeare appears to regard his art as a burden which he is relieved to surrender upon retirement.

Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series concluded with “The Tempest” in issue 75, in which Gaiman and artist Charles Vess not only depicted scenes from the play but told a story of Shakespeare himself meeting once more with Morpheus, the Sandman, who “opened a door” to Shakespeare’s imagination, enabling him to put the “great stories” in the form of enduring plays. Prospero’s speech in Shakespeare’s Tempest may suggest that even art fades away . In Gaiman’s “Tempest,” fellow playwright Ben Jonson predicts that Shakespeare’s plays will not last, but Morpheus truthfully declares that they will, that he endowed Shakespeare with “the power to give men dreams that would live on, after you were gone.”

Despite acknowledging the greatness if Shakespeare’s works, Gaiman’s “Tempest” also depicts art as a burden to its creators, a kind of servitude. Gaiman’s Shakespeare tells Morpheus, “For a goodly part of my life I have been in your service.” Shakespeare must repay Morpheus by writing two plays about dreams, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Tempest), from which Shakespeare, well into middle age, is satisfied to give up. Gaiman has Shakespeare refer to it as the “burden of words.”

Gaiman’s Shakespeare laments that his preoccupation with his art distanced him from normal life: “I’d fall in love, or fall in lust, and at the height of my passion, I would think, “˜So this is how it feels’ and I would tie it up in pretty words, I watched my life as if it were happening to someone else., My son died, and I was hurt, but I watched my hurt. and even relished it, a little, for now I could write a real death, a true loss.”

After Morpheus removes Shakespeare’s ability to access his full creative powers, Gaiman shows Shakespeare writing Prospero’s concluding speech in The Tempest, in which he asks the audience, “as you from crimes would pardoned be,” to “set me free” by applauding his efforts. (By comparing himself to an imprisoned criminal, Prospero–and perhaps Shakespeare–shows just how oppressive his service to his art has felt.)

In this issue Shakespeare’s longing for release from servitude to his own creativity parallels Morpheus’s dissatisfaction with his own existence and even his personality. Morpheus explicitly compares himself to a Prospero who was not set free from his island of exile: “Because I will never leave my island. . . I am. . .in my fashion. . .an island. . . .” He tells Shakespeare, “I do not [change]. I may not. I am Prince of Stories, Will, but I have no story of my own. Nor shall I ever.”

But, of course, Gaiman’s Sandman series is indeed Morpheus’s story. Moreover, describing Shakespeare’s Tempest, the Sandman says, “I wanted a tale of graceful ends. I wanted a play about a King who drowns his books, and breaks his staff, and leaves his kingdom. About a magician who becomes a man. About a man who turns his back on magic.” This is what Morpheus does: he learns humanity, he allows himself to be killed in expiation for his past, thereby surrendering his kingdom, to the new Dream Morpheus does indeed change, and, arguably, the new Dream can be seen as both a new Sandman and as Morpheus himself reborn.

Perhaps Gaiman himself regarded Sandman as both a work of lasting merit and one that had become a burden, so he brought it to an end. Of course, Gaiman has gone on to write many other things, but perhaps he anticipates that someday he too will tire of serving his muses.

Prospero’s concluding speech in Black Dossier does not just take a more positive attitude towards art than the Shakespeare and Gaiman versions of The Tempest; it is outright celebratory. As Peter Svensson notes in a contribution to Nevins’ annotations, “rather than rejecting his magic to return to a normal life, here Prospero praises the greatest magic of all. The Imagination” (Black Dossier Annotations, p. 192).

Moore’s Prospero calls the Blazing World “this shining soil beyond life’s mummied grip” (Dossier, p. 190, panel 1). Moore may have designed this phrase to echo John of Gaunt’s encomium to England in Shakespeare’s Richard II:

“This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall,
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm,
this England.” (Richard II, Act II, scene ii)

Moore’s Blazing World does seem like a modern Eden and “demi-paradise.” Prospero states that in the Blazing World “Our direst yearnings and our fondest fears [are] at sport, made safe from time’s iniquity” (Dossier, p. 190, panel 1). In other words, here art, and the emotions and aspirations that it expresses, last eternally, free from “time’s iniquity” and “life’s mummied grip.”

Next Prospero tells us, “We are the tales that soothed our infant brow, the roles you wore for childhood’s alley-play,” that supplied a “paper paramour” for “your youth,” and that provide “thy consolation, thy escape” when we are “grown to grey responsibility” (Dossier, p. 190, panel 2). This means that art fulfills our emotional and psychological needs throughout our lives. Here Moore is also echoing the famous “Seven Ages of Man” speech from Shakespeare’s As You Like It (Act II scene vii, lines 139-166), which includes the “infant,” the “school-boy,” the “lover,” and four “ages of adulthood, growing increasingly aged.

That speech starts with the lines:

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.” (As You Like It, Act II scene vii, lines 139-143)

This metaphor fits the theme of Prospero’s Black Dossier speech, which inextricably links the world of the imagination with “real” life.

As in his concluding speech to the audience in Shakespeare’s play, in Black Dossier Prospero breaks the fourth wall and addresses the readers directly. He makes this clear when he speaks of “the very personality that scrys this epilogue” (Dossier p. 190, panel 3), namely, you the reader.

Prospero points out that in forming our personalities as we grow up, we often model ourselves after inspirational fictional characters. “Did fictional examples not prevail? Holmes’ intellect? The might of Hercules? Our virtues, our intoxicating vice: while fashioning thyself, were these not clay?” (Dossier, p. 190, panel 3).

In Shakespeare’s Tempest Prospero likened people to the spirits in his art, all of whom are destined to “dissolve” into nothingness. In the Dossier Prospero likewise connects us real people to the fictional characters whom we imitate: “If we mere insubstantial fancies be, how more so thee, who from us substance stole?” (Dossier p. 190, panel 3). The phrase “insubstantial fancies” echoes Prospero’s “insubstantial pageant” from The Tempest.

But by stating that we stole “substance” from the characters of fiction, Moore’s Prospero indicates that fiction and its characters are not “insubstantial” at all, but possess a sort of “substance” and reality. Hence, Moore’s Prospero continues, “Your trustiest companions since the cave, we apparitions guided mankind’s tread, our planet, unseen counterpart to thine, as permanent, as ven’rable, as true.” (Dossier p. 191, panel 1). In referring to the characters of fiction as “apparitions,” Moore’s Prospero reminds the reader of the “spirits” of Shakespeare’s Prospero’s masque in The Tempest. Prospero’s statement works as a metaphor: that humanity’s body of stories over the length of human history make up a whole “planet” that is a “counterpart of thine.” Moore’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen books present this metaphor as literal, depicting an alternate Earth in which, seemingly, virtually all fictional characters are real. In terms of the continuity of the League series, Moore’s Prospero may be establishing that the world of League is a parallel world to our own. (Perhaps we should call the League’s world “Earth-L.”)

But let’s leave considerations of story continuity aside. Moore, through Prospero, is contending that the world of fiction is “as permanent, as ven’rable, as true” as the real world in which we readers exist. As a metaphor, this means that art–even in the form of enduring popular fiction, such as the books from which he draws most of League’s characters–is not trivial or transitory, but has genuine importance in that it inspires us, molds our personalities, and expresses our ideas and our emotions.

It is even possible that Moore means the statement to be literally true in the following sense. Moore is not saying that, say, Mina Murray and Allan Quatermain actually exist. But he may be stating that the “virtues” and “vices” that we find in fiction, and that inspire us, these ideals, have a kind of reality, comparable to that of the universal ideas in Plato’s philosophy. When Moore’s Prospero says that fictional characters have been “your trustiest companions since the cave,” you may first think of our caveman ancestors. Aren’t the first known works of art the prehistoric paintings on cave walls? In the interview about Black Dossier that he gave to Comic Book Resources, Moore confirms this: “The planet of the imagination is as old as we are. It has been humanity’s constant companion with all of its fictional locations, like Mount Olympus and the gods, and since we first came down from the trees, basically. . .  Fiction is clearly one of the first things that we do when we stand upright as a species–we tell each other stories.”

But possibly Moore is also alluding to Plato’s allegory of the cave (here and here). According to the allegory, we are like prisoners in a cave, who perceive only shadows; similarly, the characters of fiction, which Moore’s Prospero calls “apparitions,” are like shadows representing the ideas they embody.

Moore’s Prospero continues, “On Dream’s foundation matter’s mudyards rest, two sketching hands, each one the other draws: the fantasies thou’ve fashioned fashion thee” (Dossier p. 191 panel 1). Here Prospero and Moore refer to the creative, storytelling imagination as “Dream,” thereby reinforcing the visual allusions to Little Nemo‘s Slumberland; again, Moore’s Blazing World is comparable to Gaiman’s Dreaming.

If “Dream” provides the “foundation” for “matter’s mudyards,” then stories must have a sort of reality, even if metaphorical, in order to support the weight of actual matter. the stuff that composes the real world. Notice the contrast between the ugly, concrete image that the word “mudyards” evokes and the ethereal connotation of the word “Dream.”

“Mudyards” may also suggest a place where material things are constructed from mud. People–artists, scientists, anyone who creates ideas–conceives of something in their imaginations and then attempt to implement those ideas in real life. For example, an architect must imagine a building before it is built.

The idea of creation underlies the following lines: “two sketching hands, each one the other draws: the fantasies thou’ve fashioned fashion thee.” Here Moore’s Prospero comes up with a poetic image to reiterate and elaborate upon an idea that he expressed earlier, that we model ourselves upon ideals that we find in fiction. In the aforementioned interview, Moore told Comic Book Resources, “A lot of the dreams that shape us and, presumably, our world leaders, are fictions. When we’re growing up, we perhaps base ourselves on an ideal, and even if that ideal is a real living person, there is every chance that living person may have based themselves on a fictional ideal.” Just as Moore refers to “us” and “we” in that quotation, his version of Prospero may be speaking of people in general when he says that we create fantasies–stories–which in turn influence what we become.

In this case I wonder of Moore may also be referring to the individual creative artist: that the fiction that a writer creates helps shape the personality of the writer himself. Therefore either to read or to write fiction is to open oneself to its influence.

The image of the two sketching hands drawing each other suggests that what each represents–the real world and the world of fiction–is equally important. Each shapes the other. In the interview Moore states that “This is actually ground that we do cover in the Black Dossier, and in the final soliloquy, which is delivered by Duke Prospero. We’re talking about this very thing: the interdependence between the world of fiction and the world of fact.”

(In the December 10 update of Jess Nevins’ Dossier annotations, Janes Morrison and Jon Balcerak each traces Moore’s image of two hands drawing each other to M. C. Escher’s lithograoh “Drawing Hands.”)

Remember that Moore’s Prospero has broken the fourth wall to address this speech directly to the reader. Therefore, it should not be surprising that he acknowledges himself and the rest of the Dossier cast to be fictional characters. He continues, “Intangible, we are life’s secret soul. its guiding lantern principle, its best, untarnished by all subterfuge or spies, unshackled from mundane authorities” (Dossier, p. 191 panel 2). Since the real world is matter, then the world of imagination, represented by fictional characters, is spirit, “life’s secret soul.”

In Dossier and, indeed, throughout the League series, Moore opposes the world of the imagination, representing freedom, to the world of “mundane authorities,” “subterfuge, and “spies,” representing the suppression of freedom. Hence, the British government, as represented by Campion Bond (James’s grandfather) proved to be untrustworthy and ruthless in the first two volumes of League, and why Allan and Mina increasingly distance themselves from their government superiors, until by Black Dossier they have become outlaws, This explains why the fallen dictatorship of Orwell’s 1984 remains such a presence in the background of Black Dossier, and why Dossier puts Mina and Allan in opposition to the British secret service, as represented by James Bond and Harry Lime. The development of totalitarianism in the twentieth century, as Orwell demonstrated, provides powerful means for crushing both liberty and the imagination. Note that Moore’s Prospero speaks of the imagination being “unshackled” by the authorities, implying that authorities are in the business of shackling it, and perhaps by extension literally imprisoning those who conceive of things beyond the status quo. It was Orwell in 1984 who coined the phrase “thought crimes.” The word “mundane” may allude to Hannah Arendt’s phrase for describing Nazi totalitarianism, “the banality of evil”.

The reference to a “guiding lantern” suggests that the works of the creative imagination can provide us with guidance of various sorts, probably including moral and political, since Moore contrasts the “lantern” with “authorities” who “shackle” the imagination. At the end of Prospero’s speech, Moore uses similar images of objects that cast light: “pyre” and “beacon” and, of course, the metaphorical “blaze” of the “Blazing World” itself.

Moore’s Prospero next tells us that “Life’s certainties erode, yet we endure. Whilst tyrants topple, yet Quixote rides with the companions of thy cradle nights in glorious pasture Coleridge never glimpsed.” (Dossier p. 191, panel 2) Thus Prospero points out that great works of fiction survive through the ages, whereas oppressive governments (which may seek to ban such works) rise and fall. Moore’s reference to “life’s certainties” may be ironic: the political certitudes under a tyrannical regime “erode” when that regime falls. Or perhaps Moore means how the “certainties” of age and death “erode” and destroy mortal beings, yet the classic characters of fiction go on and on.

Why mention Don Quixote, whom Dossier establishes as a member of an earlier incarnation of the League? Perhaps because Quixote’s attempts to be a heroic knight continually proved ineffectual. He literally “tilted at windmills,” believing then to be marauding giants, and his name inspired the English language word “quixotic,” meaning unreasonably, impracticably idealistic. Yet, Moore points out, Quixote ultimately has triumphed, since Cervantes’ book about him is still read centuries after its was written, and the character is still known by millions, while tyrannies have come and gone. Franco’s fascist Spanish government fell, but Don Quixote “lives” on.

By “companions of thy cradle” Moore specifically refers to the fictional characters of children’s bedtime stories, and, perhaps, to all fictional characters by extension, since each adult’s love of fiction began in his childhood. Moore ironically contrasts these “companions of thy cradle” to “tyrants”: the fictional “companions” of childhood outlast the oppressive governments formed by adults, and thus childhood innocence and idealism triumphs over adult evil.

The phrase “in glorious pasture Coleridge never glimpsed” is puzzling. “Coleridge” is surely the 19th century British poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Does Moore mean that Coleridge, author of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner (1798), had too bleak and pessimistic a vision of life to conceive of this metaphorical “glorious pasture”? Or that even the splendors of the “pleasure-dome” of Xanadu in Coleridge’s poem Kubla Khan (1816) cannot match the glories of this simple “pasture” in which Quixote and other fictional characters ride?

The word “pasture” turns up in various Coleridge works, but one that may be relevant is The Wanderings of Cain (1834), in which the ghost of Abel accuses his brother, ” I was feeding my flocks in green pastures by the side of quiet rivers, and thou killedst me; and now I am in misery”. These “pastures” have been tainted by murder, unlike Quixote’s “glorious pasture.” Quixote dies in Cervantes’ book, but he rides for eternity in the pasture of Prospero’s speech.

In other words, Quixote’s “pasture” is metaphorically the same as the Blazing World: an eternal paradise inhabited by the enduring characters of fiction.

Moore’s Prospero then launches into a summation of his speech (Dossier p. 191, panel 3), beginning with a single word, an exclamation, “Rejoice!” Rather than “drown his book,” representing his art and imagination, as Shakespeare’s Prospero did in The Tempest, Moore’s Prospero joyfully declares that “Imagination’s quenchless pyre burns on”: no water can “drown” this flame. Continuing the imagery of light from his reference to the “guiding lantern,” Moore’s Prospero thus speaks of a “pyre” that “burns,” “a beacon to eternity,” perhaps meaning both that it will remain a beacon into eternity and that it shows us the way to eternity.
He continues, “its triumphs culture’s proudest pinnacles when great wars are ingloriously forgot”; not only does great art outlasts tyrannies, but art is the “proudest pinnacle” of culture, rather than even a “great” war. (So there, simply put, is the difference between Black Dossier and 300.)

Prospero goes on, in metafictional mode, “Here is our narrative made paradise, brief tales made glorious continuity” (Dossier p. 191, panel 3). This seems to confirms that Moore intends the Blazing World to be a heaven for the characters of fiction. In the League series Moore links fictional works by numerous writers into a single, all-encompassing continuity. But his reference to “continuity” may also be metaphorical. If life is a “brief tale,” then the afterlife is a limitless, “glorious continuity.” Notice, too, how Moore repeats variations on “glorious” (even “inglorious”) in Prospero’s concluding speech, making it the key word in these concluding pages.

Prospero goes on, “Here champions and lovers are made safe from bowdlerizer’s quill, or fad, or fact” (Dossier p. 109, panel 3). Having disapproved of past movie adaptations of his work, Moore has a personal motivation for disapproving of those who tamper with someone else’s artistic creation. Anyone who studies the history of longrunning characters in pop culture, including Marvel and DC comics, will see how a passing “fad” can distort the treatment of characters and series. As for “fact,” perhaps Moore means that works of fiction are not bound by the rules of reality. Obviously, works of fantasy and science fiction depict worlds which differ from our own. But fiction generally depicts a world with a sense of order (since the author has constructed the plot) that the real world lacks. Or perhaps Moore means that in fictional characters are potentially immortal and thus need not succumb to the “facts” of aging and death as real people do.

Moore’s Prospero refers to both “champions and lovers.” This may serve to remind the readers that Allan and Mina are not just important as action-adventure heroes in Dossier, upholding the cause of liberty by contending against authoritarian agents like Moore’s version of James Bond. Allan and Mina are also idealized lovers, whose love may be as immortal as they have become. This is one reason for the emphasis on Allan and Mina’s sexuality, and for that matter, that of League members Fanny Hill and Orlando in Black Dossier. Allan and Mina contrast with the womanizing James Bond and Emma Night, who is oblivious to Bond’s true nature, as the traitorous killer if her father.

Moore’s Prospero ends both his speech and the book with a rhyming couplet, complete with alliteration and further examples of light imagery. It starts, “Here are brave banners of romance unfurled. . .” (p. 191, panel 3). Moore probably intends “romance” both in the sense of love, such as between Allan and Mina, and in the sense of heroic adventure, as in Northrup Frye’s Anatomy of Criticism.

And on the Dossier‘s final page, Prospero exultingly concludes the couplet, ” . . .to blaze forever in a Blazing World!” (Dossier p. 192). It is a triumphantly celebratory ending, and you can see that reading and exploring the Black Dossier made me happy indeed to be an independent scholar in the comics medium.

And then this week I received a book which made me even happier, and you will read about that in this column’s next installment.

–Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

Trailer Park: Hilary Angelo

Filed under: Columns,Interviews,Trailer Park — admin @ 1:08 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

I was never a fan of Tom Hanks’ catchphrase, “Life is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re going to get.”

Obviously, in order for this to be effective you’ve got to drawl it a little bit and affect the posture of a mild mannered southern man. Never believed the genuineness of it. Not once.

Not until I started doing interviews with people who I knew little about, or who I could find even less information about on the Internet, did I realize how apropos this sentiment is when you’re confronted with the prospect of sustaining a conversation with a complete stranger for twenty plus minutes. It genuinely gets into your head and you simply have to rely on your homework to get you through.

Hilary threw all that uncertainty out the proverbial window with her completely disarming personality and whip smart thoughts on subjects that range from middle eastern politics in the early 80’s to her quite alarming shoulder shrug attitude when it comes to realizing what kind of profession she’s chosen. What was really telling, and one of the more genuine moments she shared that I am thinking you won’t hear on Entertainment Tonight, was her relating of the scene she did with Tom Hanks in the upcoming CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR (in theaters December 21st) where she was sitting in a hot tub with the man, trying to complete the scene. Tom, essentially, commented on the sweetness of life and how life’s lottery dealt them the opportunity to be actors, to be there sitting in a hot tub and earning a living while doing it.

Hilary’s frankness about where’s she been, where she’s going and how the writer’s strike is hitting close to home (it has landed right inside it) brought life again, once more, to Tom’s quote. It’s never an easy thing to try and think about what a stranger is going to be like when the digital tape is rolling but it certainly is a blessing to be able and capture humanity as it relates to someone as they talk about a profession where it’s sometimes hard to get real perspective.

Being true to thine self is hard when you’re a working actor and you are faced with the prospect of not having a flood of work coming in during a strike like this but you would never know this is getting anywhere close to rattling Hilary’s psyche. She is persevering regardless and isn’t letting a simple slow period (this has to end sometime) deter her from keeping on, keeping on.

CHRISTOPHER STIPP: So, how are you doing?

HILARY ANGELO: Good. I’m very well.

CS: Am I just another in a series of interviews for you?

ANGELO: Well, you are the second in a series of four today. Not too many. We are just starting to do them because the movie is about five weeks away.

CS: Yes, it is and I finally got a chance to see the trailer last week.

ANGELO: Oh, good! I’m actually in the first frame of the trailer.

CS: Oh, you are?

ANGELO: Yeah, I’m the girl in the hot tub who’s laughing.

CS: I know exactly who you are talking about.

ANGELO: There are three of us ““ there are two blondes and I’m the brunette.

CS: That leads me to my first question for you ““ I don’t know, just by watching the trailer, if I get it still or if I understand what the movie is about.

ANGELO: It’s funny that you say that because my husband was concerned about the same thing after we saw the trailer. He knows what the movie is about but he said I just don’t know if people will understand ““ is the marketing right? Are people really going to go see this? Well, I’ll put the record straight.

I think it’s a very important movie to see. It’s really about this one man, Charlie Wilson, who is passionate about Afghanistan’s fight against the Russians in the early 80’s. And through secret meetings and his congressman’s connections, he funded the war. It is more or less the story of how he helped the mujahideen get weapons and the various twists and turns of how he had to do that. He was known as a playboy congressman who never took his job seriously and he became passionate about this one cause.

And I think it’s a relevant movie today because it really about a man who gets involved in other’s peoples struggle in a foreign country where he doesn’t know any thing about the world of fanaticism. And we are in a place right now that is very similar although it’s in the public eye and not a secret. I don’t want to give away the ending but it’s very relevant to what’s going on today. So, that’s what the movie is about and I play a showgirl/stripper who’s in Vegas with Charlie Wilson.

In real life, she actually existed. She’s partying with Tom Hanks (Charlie Wilson) and she’s trying to seduce him and he really doesn’t want to have anything to do with her. He’s much more interested in Dan Rather on 60 Minutes talk about the Afghan struggle. But then it just introduces the first 15 minutes of the character he was and going into the history of what he is going to become. He gets himself in trouble by being around girls who drink too much and do illicit drugs.

CS: What do you think? If all of a sudden ““ we’ve seen the remunerations of things like that today ““ congressmen who don’t live by any moral laws and certainly this seems like a guy who just keeps doing and doing”¦.what in your opinion changed that made him become consumed by all of this?

ANGELO: I think he just felt sorry for the Afghans who were literally trying to fight the Russians. And of course, this was 1981 when the cold war was the biggest thing we were fighting. You know, the big red curtain. And this was a war that was going on where America wasn’t stepping in and the Russians wanted to make the Afghans communists.

So I really think he was passionate about fighting off communisms for these Afghans and giving them democracy. I mean, literally fighting with dirt and rocks and the Russians were hitting them with missiles and bombs. So I think that’s where Charlie Wilson gets on the bandwagon and said we have to do something.

CS: Do you think he played a part in the Russians giving up? The Russians actually got beaten back.

ANGELO: Right.

CS: Did he play a part in that coming to fruition?

ANGELO: Yes, and that’s why it’s called Charlie Wilson’s War. If it wasn’t for him and Gust L. Avrakotos, a real CIA agent, it was him and two other guys working on this war. They had 1 million dollars to fight this war. And until Charlie Wilson came along there was just no way the Afghans were going to beat the Russians.

So yes, if it wasn’t for Charlie Wilson they would be Communist. So who knows where they would be today. Which is actually the twist.

CS: Yes”¦the twist being they gave rise to Osama Bin Laden.

ANGELO: Yes. I don’t know if you’ve read the book.CS: I did not.

ANGELO: It’s quite interesting and Aaron Sorkin did a great job making that book into a movie.

CS: I apologize that I am completely ignorant of this, but is Charlie Wilson still around today?

ANGELO: No, don’t apologize. Yes, he is. I met him at the wrap party. He wasn’t on the set the day that I was there but he was definitely there for consultation. Tom met him and I met him at the wrap party and asked him about my character and what she was like.

CS: I’m interested ““ what did he have to say about you ““ about your character?

ANGELO: He said in the book she was described as a showgirl, in the script she’s a stripper. He said she was a showgirl at Caesar’s Palace in the bar. It was just her and her friend and she were just so beautiful that he invited them up to a party with him. He doesn’t know what happened to them but they did have a wild night and the book doesn’t go into the truth of the wild night because I think it’s trying to protect Charlie Wilson, but you don’t really know what happened at that party and if Charlie partook of the drugs that was going on because it was the 80’s and he did get in trouble eventually. But he said they were lovely, fun girls.

(Laughs)

He said, “I had a good time with them!”, He’s a big Texas guy. I think he’s been married three times. I met his wife. He’s a character.

CS: Does he have anything to say regarding the periphery of what eventually was the fallout of this skrimish? It must be a hot button with this war eventually allowing Osama Bin Laden to come to where he is.

ANGELO: I didn’t ask him about that. I wished I had. But it was just the wrong place and wrong time because we were at a party celebrating.

CS: Of course.

ANGELO: You know, you have to sleep at night.

If I were him, he thought he was doing the right thing at the time. He didn’t know they were religious fanatics. They just really wasn’t a lot known. There wasn’t a Taliban at that time. There really wasn’t the religious extremism. We weren’t paying attention to them. I’m sure somebody knew about it but didn’t speak up.

CS: You said you were in a few scenes. How long were you on the set?

ANGELO: I was on the set for about two weeks. And we had to do rehearsals so I have a couple days of rehearsals. It was short in that it wasn’t the three months they were shooting but it certainly felt long to me because it was such a momentous work experience for me. I had never worked with the people I worked with and it was very gratifying to learn they are just regular people.

CS: What did you take away from working with Tom Hanks? At least, professionally speaking.

ANGELO: The most important thing I learned from him is that he respects everyone on set.

He knows everyone’s name from the key light’s assistant, the 2nd key light to of course the actors he’s working with in the scene with him. He just knows everyone’s name ““ he welcomes everyone in the morning. He’s just a real good person.

And the other thing he said to me, and I think about it everyday, is that “I am so lucky to have this job. I feel so blessed. Aren’t we blessed? Sitting in a hot tub, saying lines, pretending we are drinking martinis. Isn’t this the best job ever?” He just loves what he does. He knows he is lucky. Even though he is extremely talented, I think he deserves what he has. I think he feels like it’s undeserving. He said he’d be doing community theatre in Podunk, Iowa if he could. He’d still be acting, no matter what.

So, I think the perseverance that all actors need to get through the day ““ is you just have to do just go out and do what you do. He said it’s better than shoveling chicken heads. Yeah, OK, it is better than shoveling chicken heads. Some days it’s really hard when you are working very hard, tightening the belt, and working down the pipeline. For me, I’m not Tom Hanks. I have to still audition and fight the fight. But it was really inspiring.

CS: I looked over your resume and saw what you’ve been in ““ a lot of television, a lot of one episode, one episode, one episode. Going back to what you were talking about, how do you weigh the content of what you are given vs. the need for your to sustain yourself?

ANGELO: I wish I could say that I can pass on projects and say, “I don’t really need to do that,” But I do pass on certain things. I’m not going to do a student film or is barely paying me my pay wage which I feel I deserve. I don’t do things like that, but as far as TV, if I’m right for it, I audition for it. I gotta work.

And jobs like Charlie Wilson’s War ““ that’s a break for me. It’s a big movie. So hopefully with the success of that film my performance is deemed worthy that I will get other work because of it. You just never know. I will say that this part required nudity and I didn’t even think twice about it, where in the past I would definitely say, “No.”

But, because it was Mike Nichols, Aaron Sorkin, Tom Hanks, Phil Hoffman, Julia Roberts”¦I just couldn’t pass it up. So even going on the audition I said, OK, if I get it, I know I’ll have to be topless. So, that’s something I think about. If there’s nudity it has to be relevant to the story. It’s a very vulnerable place to put yourself in. It’s your body and you are an artist so you want to make sure it’s the right kind of project. So, in that sense, yes, I do have some standards”¦

(Laughs)

But I do have to work. I still do commercials and guest star. And I will continue to do it until my agent says, “You don’t have to do that anymore.” But I really do love the work. Even playing a guest star ““ I get to play different characters all the time when it’s a series ““ you do hear actors complain all the time (although I don’t know why they complain about having a series) that they get tired of playing the same character.

CS: I’ll do that.

ANGELO: Me too. I don’t mind playing the same character for four years. So, I just have to keep auditioning and get other people to see my work and that fame expands.

CS: When you do have to do your guest star to do your part, is there anything going on in your mind, like you are going to play the part as it is or is there something that is important to you that you bring to every performance?

ANGELO: Yes, for me it’s always just truth.

I have to find the truth of why and how they react, what’s going on in the scene, what about the other people in the scene ““ just always, always is the truth. I don’t like to fake it ““ I don’t want to fake it. I want to really find the experience of the scene. It’s not perfect. It’s a craft. You call on the techniques that you’ve learned and hopefully it works.

Because, when you are upset, it is very distracting to other people all of a sudden, there’s cameramen, there’s make-up people, there’s hair people, there’s directors. You work off the other actors using techniques and find the truth in the scene. It’s definitely a craft. It’s an art form. But I don’t like to wing it. I try to be as prepared as possible.

CS: On the subject of it being a craft…I saw that you spent a number of years doing ballet. What came first? Performance dance or performance art?

ANGELO: My mom said I used to dance in front of the television when I was two years old. I was always dancing. When I was four years old she put me in dancing school and I just fell in love with it. I loved, loved, loved it. There actually was a time when little girls got away from dance and were into soccer and softball.

But I was very stubborn and into ballet and was so passionate about it. I still am. It got to a point where it was 5 ““ 6 days a week in my early teens and it’s just a grueling art form. It’s hard on your body and you start to have injury to you body at 14 and going to orthopedic surgeons to find out what was wrong with me. Your feet, your hips, it’s just very difficult on your body, especially when you are growing. I stopped only because I was in high school and I wanted to do normal things, like go to football games, be a cheerleader, be in the school play, be class president. I just wanted to have extra curricular activities that weren’t ballet. If you want to be a serious ballet dancer you have to give up everything. Just like if you want to be a professional baseball player, you have to give up everything and just play baseball everyday after school. So I stopped and I think it was a really good decision because I got to do school plays and community theater.

And I just fell in love with the stage all over again but from a different perspective. I got an agent and started working right away.

CS: Really?

ANGELO: Granted…I grew up in Los Angeles so it was much easier for me than maybe other people who don’t live here. You have to come here after high school or college and you start a little bit later in life. I was fortunate to get a chance to start earlier in life, which is good because I think it made me stick around longer than I would have.

CS: And with this writer’s strike going on, are you being affected by that?

ANGELO: Yes, definitely because my husband is a screenwriter and he’s marching along somewhere over at Fox Studio today and he’s not working. But he sent things to Disney, November 1st and I’m crossing my fingers that the movies he has turned in will be green lighted, knock on wood. But as far as my career, I think TV is done. Not too much is going on.

Film-wise, things have to start production March 1st or it looks like the screen actors guild could walk. So, I have a good five months. I would love to get another job next year. I don’t know if we’re going to walk but if it doesn’t get resolved, then we probably will because my contract is up May 31st. It’s just not a good time and this town is really going to suffer. Yes, I guess I am directly affected, through my husband. Not good timing since my movie is coming out so soon.

CS: That’s what’s bizarre. You have this huge A-list movie and, right behind the scenes, you have this real-life thing happening.

ANGELO: Yes!

And I believe in the strike, I really do. It’s just the Wild West on the Internet and the writers need to be compensated and the actors will need to be compensated because we are not compensated either. So we’ll see how it goes. I understand both ends of the story and the producers are saying they just don’t know how the Internet is going to end up making money in the future. But I think they do. I think they have had some guys working on it for 10 years. I don’t know. I hope it gets solved in the next week.

CS: You’re actually the first real person I’ve talked to that has actually been directly affected.

ANGELO: Yes, it’s no fun. But what’s great is that the writers are really standing together and I’m really impressed by the guild itself and how they have really stood tall and how show runners are walking off shows. That to me is really impressive. That’s the only way things will get done with any speed is if they really stand firm.

CS: One last question: When you have things happen like this, when you have a strike going on and these horrible things are going on behind the scenes, is it making you feel that this is really what you are genuinely passionate about no matter what you need to do — dig in your heels, go work at Office Max?

ANGELO: Yes, it’s true. It’s not like I’m thinking I’ll just pack my bags and move to a different country. This is just a bump in the road. We had a commercial strike a few years ago and the actors survived however, the business did change for commercials after that. We are artists and we have to stick up for ourselves.

First of all, without the writers, there is nothing. I think it’s just telling the story of corporate America conglomerates and how they just don’t care. They are not taking care of their own people. But yes, my husband and I were trying to come up with a plan. He’s a wonderful skier so he said he would become a ski instructor and we’ll make it work. We’re coming up with ideas and we’ll make ends meet somehow.

Who knows, maybe we’ll come up with some great invention in the next month. Make a million dollars and then we can make our own movie”¦

(Laughs)

But, yes, it’s not making us say, that’s it for us. This is what we want to do and we love it.

CS: That’s all I have.

ANGELO: It was great to talk to you Christopher.

##

Win DOCTOR WHO SEASON 3 on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:56 am

Our holiday contest-a-palooza continues as we give away, in conjunction with BBC Home Video, three (3) copies of DOCTOR WHO: SEASON 3 on DVD.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Friday, December 21st.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Friday, December 21st.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/14/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Bilko tries to convince the platoon to eat oats… (Thingamabob)
  • Bilko and the camp bet on how many times Mrs Whitney twitches during her Beethoven talk… (Thingamabob)
« Newer Posts — Older Posts »

Powered by WordPress