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Your TextSModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 96: Take Off That Little Hat and Be Killed! –

In which our heroes turn to the audience for guidance.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

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SModcast 96 (MP3 format)

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Comments: 97 Comments

97 Responses to “SModcast 96”

  1. Brett Says:

    Ok, I have a long (12+ hour) drive coming up what are your top 10 smods I should listen to during the drive?

  2. David Says:

    Listening to smod 96 for the third time, hoping by the time I’m done with it 97 will be up and out.

  3. Bowman941 Says:

    No new smod tonight- ken plume’s twitter

  4. Alan Says:

    Listening to #37… Why do dolphins protect people from sharks? a) They like people. b) They like fucking with sharks. c) They’re like “fuck off, we’re gonna eat him.”

    lol… can’t wait for the next SMod…

  5. Alan Says:

    top ten, in chronological order…

    #13 – Fleamarket
    #14 – Malcom and Canada’s PM
    #37 – Dolphins
    #40 – Fat cock
    #50 – Walt’s monkey story
    #60 – Clones
    #61 – Bridge beach!
    #74 – Glassass.com
    #84 – Mrs X, girl X’s mom
    #85 – Sidechair

  6. Peter J. Says:

    Smodcast 23, 24, and 28 are three of my all-time favorites. Smodcast REALLY hit its stride during this era. There are some other favorites, but those are three of the ones I’ve listened to the most.

    NO NEW SMOD TONIGHT?!!? ***SAD FACE*** ***SINGLE TEAR***

  7. Seamus is a girls name Says:

    I’ve been playing several smods, and some of my faves, when SM’s away, are with Malcolm. He’s highly opinionated, goofy, honest, and very funny. His sexuality, although its an issue for some, I feel only adds more to his appeal. Go Malcolm!

  8. Josh B Says:

    I know why Kevin Smith accidentally quoted Lethal Weapon 2’s villain when trying to use a Russian accent. It’s because that actor, Joss Ackland, used one himself in The Hunt For Red October. That’s right, he played the Soviet ambassador.

  9. Shane Says:

    I love in talking Cure Pt.2 when they’re talkng about “watch my dumbass fuck” where theyre like “well i think we should let the boys do what they want dont yoouuu” and hes like “i quit!” and the guys like “YOUR FIRED, BILL!!” hahaha makes me chuckle just thinking of it.

  10. Gene Says:

    Kevin may think his fictitious description of the Russian crowd killing the bear was out of the realm of possibility. But check out the sad tale of Mary the Elephant — hung by the townspeople of Kingsport, TN by way of an industrial railroad crane.

    Photo and description here –> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_%28elephant%29

  11. slick.puppy Says:

    Anyone know which SMod has Kev asking Mos if he’s let Alex record him doing a porno with crazy sound effects if he was going to die?

  12. Mark Says:

    Alan’s list is good. I’d add the one where they explain how walt would buy action figures for re sale and Brian seducing his girlfriend’s mom.

  13. Jesse Says:

    I would also add Forgeticus and The Christmas Stranger Gnomes from Smod Bless Us, Everyone. Oh and is there any word on a “Seeing Stars With Malcolm Ingram” Podcast/Radioshow?

  14. Alan Says:

    Mark- That’s #50 and #84… They made the list 😉

  15. Kalen Says:

    Mark,
    I think that one was on Alan’s list:
    “Mrs X, girl X’s mom”

    Classic.

  16. slick.puppy Says:

    Those two are both already on the list, number 50 and number 84. I’d put up those two, plus:

    #15 Helen Keller!
    #29 Harry Scotter
    #35 Bryan’s depression, Walt’s reluctance to accept it
    #45 Kev and Mos on a desert island
    #60 Walt and his clone
    #61 Bryan seduces the mentally sub-normal
    #80 Scott gets a vasectomy
    #92 Malcolm burns down the Playboy trailer

    Anyone know which one has Kev asking Mos if he’d let Alex film them having sex, then adding humiliating sound effects and commentary, if he was going to die?

  17. thirtyseven Says:

    “Anyone know which one has Kev asking Mos if he’d let Alex film them having sex, then adding humiliating sound effects and commentary, if he was going to die?”

    SMorpheus…scott stood around in calcutta and had a ghost ass. one of my favorites.

  18. Ryan Says:

    just wanted to say thanks, you get me through L.A. traffic without killing someone. keep doin the Lords work -Ryan

  19. larrybear-e Says:

    anyone else notice that the smodcasts with walt on them are all over these lists that you guys are making. (which i love)
    sounds like we need a new podcast with walt. WHOS WITH ME?

  20. larrybear-e Says:

    i would like to add #56. Im gonna throw a haymaker. Do you know what a haymaker is?? Laugh every time….

  21. Jesus Says:

    awesome. takes long tho

  22. Josh Says:

    The Mosier being filmed having sex with commentary one was Smodcast #39: Of Berries and Twigs

  23. Phill B. Says:

    I’d have to throw smod 52: the (c)rapture on that list. That’s the one where they make up that movie about Jesus coming back to judge everyone and Scott has to stop him. Every day I pray that Kev will actually make Holy Christ! into a real movie hahaha

  24. Cam Says:

    I like the one where Kev and Walt talk about the process Walt would go through to get certain figures for the store, returning shit to toy stores, etc.

  25. Ben from Canada Says:

    Great episodes listed – I second Phill B’s suggestion about the (c)rapture belonging on the list. When I’m introducing anyone to Smod, it’s one of the first ones I have them listen to. So classic!

  26. Alex K. Says:

    Yeah, the (c)Rapture is definitely one of the all-time best SMods. The entire concept is so over-the-top and ridiculous. Scott merging with Satan, who’s proficient in old-timey boxing. The UN making sacrifices to the Devil. Kevin with his tiny bat-wings annoying Jesus with his piano. It’s so good.

  27. Mark Says:

    thanks for the heads up guys, guess I need to check out 50 and 84 again. love those games with the action figures, and the fact that he was know at the corporate level.

  28. BishopBee Says:

    Hmm…is this the 1st smodcast where they go into a skit and Kevin doesn’t have to tell Scott what to do for the English hooker routine?

  29. Peter J. Says:

    I think ***SMODCAST 62** is a favorite of many.

  30. Alan Says:

    @larrybear-e – No doubt! More Walt!!! Flanagan FTW!!!!

    Also, Walt’s story about the Zoo is on #34, not #50… #50 is Walt’s crime syndicate

  31. Sleazy Pseudonym Says:

    Whats the one with Walt ok with having a clone

  32. keith grachow Says:

    Hi Mr. Smith and gang,

    This is my first time leaving a comment, but I have been listening to your Smodcasts since number 1. Let me start by saying that I am a huge fan of Kevin Smith’s and grew up in New Jersey as well, so alot of his stories feel a bit like my own life, Chasing Amy being a prime example of that.

    I also enjoy the stream of conscious conversation between Kevin, Scott and the viewaskew gang. I am an illustrator and listen to the Smodcasts as I work, as it is entertaining as hell and often makes me pause to look up some of the references or websites mentioned in the ‘cast. I haven’t checked out the anal jar breaker or horse fucker yet but you never know.

    Because I started listening to the Smodcasts only recently, I have been going thru the archives and have not caught up to the most current one. I just finished 75 with Kevin and Malcolm, where the two of you talk about the Oscar nominations. I am getting a sense that the two of you guys are like David and Maddie, from Moonlighting, having that palpable tension, where both of you like to take pot shots at each other, but deep down you have a strong love for one another. I know its just platonic, but thats what it feels like.

    Anyway, I think all of you guys are awesome and can’t wait to catch up to the current Smodcasts.

    Cheers,

    Keith

  33. slick.puppy Says:

    Walt having a clone is number 60. I think my all time favourite is probably number 56, where Mosier keeps getting screwed over by the Make-a-Wish Foundation and Kevin raises the devil.

  34. Mahalo Says:

    For all those who kept talking about how Kev Smith and Adam Carolla should do something together, they already did. Loveline 05/14/01.

    http://www.viewaskew.com/tv/loveline/index.html

    or

    http://loveline-archive.info/loveline/2001/

  35. Cam Says:

    Whats the smod where Mossier is pretending to be some guy from an English band I can’t recall right now??? I know thats vague but hopefully someone remember’s what i’m talking about.

  36. Ryan the Lionheart Says:

    This episode was fuckin hilarious. Especially the loud monkey sounds when talking about discovering the sun.

  37. Ben from Canada Says:

    To Cam, I think you’re referring to the first half of Smod 62 – “The Human Quilt”, where Scott is pretending to be Lou Gramm from Foreigner (or “Mick”, as Kevin continuously refers to him). That’s another really awesome Smod, definitely in the top 10.

  38. pimpjuice 420 Says:

    Anyone hear when the next smod will be released? By the way it’s hard to pick a favorite smod when i like something from them all.

  39. thirtyseven Says:

    #57 terrorist pizza

    if this one doesn’t make the list the terrorists win.

  40. tj w Says:

    seriously. terrorist pizza for the win.

  41. Matthew Says:

    Any indicators on smod this week!? oh please please

  42. Landfill Says:

    Kevin Smith is the best.

  43. chris v Says:

    when do we get a new show?

  44. chris v Says:

    NEW SHOW?

  45. Ethan Says:

    I found a clip of bears playing hockey, and the craziest thing is they actually seem to know what their doing. This clip blew my fucking mind.

    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3f5_1259002434

  46. chris v Says:

    Are Kevin and Scott alive?
    No new shows in some time I think the wives got sick and tired of the smodshit and ripped the boys into pieces.
    If that’s the case, can I have some kevin-Scott flank steaks?

  47. Dave Says:

    Good listens, sirs.

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