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By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

So, I was able to sit down for a couple of years and pump out a book. It’s got little to do with movies.Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

And now, you can follow me on TWITTER under the name: Stipp

uni

THE UNIVERSE: THE COMPLETE SEASON TWO

Forget about your DARK KNIGHT Blu-ray as the benchmark against which you’ll judge any other disc as The Universe: The Complete Season Two is absolutely breathtaking.

One of the things that you notice when you settle in to this collection of 4 discs is that the programs that you used to watch as a kid which sought to explain the nuances of the universe are now completely irrelevant. What this series does, in 18 episodes, is to redefine how you spatially think of outer space.

I never was one who paid much attention to my science teachers when it came to this subject as I was, and still am, a visual learner. The fundamental problem with space, you see, is that it is very much based on factoids, theoretical assumptions and basic math. I’m not much for any of those things. What this series manages to do, in an arresting visual style, is contextualize the science and make it understandable to anyone who can sit in front of the television and watch the images and listen to the narration. This series has quickly become one of my favorites as nowhere else has there been a show that mixes the abject vastness of space with the kind of sensibility that understands that not everyone is an Einstein. The program introduces topics usually reserved for those with a scientific bent but it does so with a casual narrative style.

If you have to have the kids inside watching a show this summer you couldn’t do more perfect than The Universe.

The product description:

As the orbiting Hubble’s final makeover makes headlines, consumers who look to the stars may be wishing for their very own ultra-powerful space telescope. This July, A&E Home Entertainment invites home audiences to peer deeply into the cosmos with THE UNIVERSE: THE COMPLETE SEASON TWO BLU-RAY EDITION. A hi-def, visually-arresting journey across the galaxy, this 4-disc collector’s set features all 18 dramatic and original episodes from one of the top-rated series on HISTORY — and exclusive programming — for $79.95 srp. It’s the next best thing to having a deep space telescope in your living room – and a must-have for anyone with a Blu-ray player

In THE COMPLETE SEASON TWO, HISTORY ventures outside of our solar system in another epic and high-definition exploration of the universe and its mysteries. With strikingly realistic computer re-creations, armchair astronomers will travel to the edge of the unknown: visit strange and unfamiliar worlds in “Exoplanets,” prepare for the worst in “Cosmic Collisions,” and uncover the secrets of our own galaxy in “The Milky Way.” And that’s just the beginning: more mysteries are unveiled as “Dark Matter” is demystified; take a front-row seat for the ultimate light show with “Supernovas,” and find out more about “White Holes” which, unlike black holes, actually create matter.

BRUNO – Arizona Screening

bru_field_300x250-1I remember seeing BORAT for the first time at the San Diego Comic-Con years ago. The expereince of getting tickets to see then film and then being one of the first people in the world to review it was a delight in knowing that this film was genuinely going to become a favorite with a lot of people when it was going to be released months later.

Fast forward 3 years and now we get Sacha Baron Cohen’s second iteration at cinematic immolation: BRUNO. Based on one of the characters he used in Da Ali G Show, Bruno was a character that played seek and destroy against mavens in the fashion and glamor arena. What made Bruno so great is that it shared some of the elements with Borat. The character mirrors the shallow, desperate affectations of those who deal in the industry of beauty and he isn’t above a few of the more physical pranks that Sacha is now known for.

To this end, I have FREE passes to see the Arizona screening of BRUNO on Tuesday, July 7th at 7 p.m. at the Tempe Marketplace in Tempe.

If I need to sell this movie any further you best let the fans get to these and then wait to hear from them about why you should’ve seen it in the first place. Shoot me a note at Christopher_Stipp@yahoo.com to let me know if you want to go.

THE PROPOSAL – A Product Placement Correction

alaskan-new-w-mountians-72I am reminded, every so often, of Frances ‘Chainsaw’ Gremp from SUMMER SCHOOL. You may recall, from this paragon of a film, that Frances had sunglasses that were constantly breaking. So, with a little prodding from Shoop Frances rattled off a missive to Cool Dudes Sunglasses to let them know how he felt. At the end of the letter writing campaign, and many pairs of free sunglasses later, Frances exclaims, “Power of the pen!”

Every now and then I get such a moment and am reminded of how small the Interwebs are. Last week I made mention of a rather stark, at what I thought at the time, product placement. Alaskan Brewing Company was featured prominently throughout a few scenes in THE PROPOSAL and I made mention of it in my review.

Lo and behold I heard from someone at Alaskan Brewing. A very, very nice letter made its way into my inbox and I was set straight about what was NOT a paid promotional placement. An excerpt:

“I may be a little biased but have to admit that I was equally mesmerized by our red-labeled beer bottles throughout the movie, and almost shocked because Alaskan Brewing actually didn’t pay anything for the placement – the production company even covered the shipping costs. Last April they asked us to send a few cases of Alaskan Amber and signs to Massachusetts for the set design, and while we would have preferred they actually filmed in Alaska we were excited they wanted to include Alaskan in the film. We never really expected to see such extensive coverage of our beer.
If you look closely at the general store and internet café, their production team did a pretty good job of including products from all over Alaska, from the brown and beige Xtra-tuf boots (which are a footwear staple here in Southeast Alaska) to boxes of Alaska Wildberry Products candies, Smoked Copper River Salmon and Alaskan-made salsa. They even found some well-known artwork to hang in the unbelievably large family house in “Sitka.”

We have spoken with a few of the other businesses shown in the film and it’s my understanding none of those companies paid for product placement either.”

No one could be more shocked than I was when I learned that nary a penny traded hands for what amounts to some of the best free advertising this side of the Rio Grande. It’s nice to hear when some companies are just the lucky receipients of the marketing lotto. Hopefully this translates into some actual sales or, at the very least, awareness of the brand as THE PROPOSAL hopes to build on what was solid word-of-mouth and pretty enjoyable film, all things being equal, as it heads into its second week at the box office.

transformers_2_run_posterTRANSFORMERS 2: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN – Review

It’s the cinematic equivalent of putting on your fat pants before downing a soft roll of raw cookie dough.

For all the talk of how empty this movie will make you feel after you endure it’s 149 minute run time there is no question after seeing it that Michael Bay is a master of blowing things up real good. To say he is a master of the pyrotechnic technique would under emphasize the level of destruction he manages to bring to this summer film. He manages to fill every last inch of screen with shrapnel, smoke or action when there’s action to be had and that’s why it’s everything that a 13 year old boy could want in a film directed squarely at them.

This film has to make money. It is designed to generate money. It’s sole purpose, it’s raison d’etre, is to put paying customers in seats in exponential numbers. Once you synthesize this, examining the film as a grand economic exercise helps to put things in the proper perspective.

What should be apparent by the time our young Shia LeBouf (Sam) makes his way to college, leaving his gear head of a girlfriend Megan Fox (Mikaela) back to tend to the home fires, is that this movie isn’t concerned with a coherent plot. It wants excuses to get loud, get dumb and get some kinetic action going at every opportunity. To wit, we’re given Hong Kong at dusk. There is an operation going on with a couple of our human heroes, Tyrese and Josh Duhamel, tracking down Decepticons through the highways and byways of the crowded city. Logic would follow, wouldn’t it, if you having an all out battle of robots made out of metal all over the world that there would be more than just a couple of Internet nerds vying for the hearts and minds of conspiracy theorists who seem to believe that robots walk among us? No, and you would be silly for making such an assumption as the film wants us to believe that this is a secret that has been perfectly kept across multiple continents during multiple skirmishes with Michael Bay-ian level action. However, I’m fine with this.

I’m fine with the movie wanting me to believe this is all very routine and certainly I’m fine with a dweeb like Shia ditching his girlfriend at the first taste of college life, coincidentally being paired up with a roommate who is the head of the robot conspiracy movement. You could hurt your mind just trying to explain all the happy coincidences, all the completely improbable things that just don’t make any sense whatsoever. Again, to illustrate the point, remember the very real auto accident that put Shia’s performance in this movie in jeopardy? It’s almost laughable, and it is, to see the exact moment in the film when this happens. Without so much as an explanation as to how he ends up with a hand wrapped in gauze with no discernible explanation of where it came from and we’re just led to believe this is all part of the world these characters inhabit, where gauze is readily available even in the middle of the desert. I started to feel insulted at this point but then I remember what this movie is supposed to be about and it helped put everything in perspective. The irony that the original kids show, along with the likes of G.I. Joe, was an ancillary extension of the marketing campaign for the Transformers toy line and that this film is basically a meta extension of that, isn’t lost on me. In fact, I am surprised no one else mentions this as a way to explain why else this movie works as a cinematic achievement.

And make no mistake, this movie is absolutely an achievement. The level of dedication that Bay has placed in making a film that you can’t help but admire for its technical prowess, it’s effects are dumbfounding in more than a few ways, should absolutely explain why this movie is poised to be a fiscal juggernaut. The effect For all the talk of artistic integrity director Michael Bay has succinctly distilled his ability to take the mundane into something exciting and the way he places ordinary people into extraordinary situations is brilliantly executed on the screen. Summer blockbusters are not made out of the charity to help others and while there is a metric ton to bemoan about this ultimately tepid film Bay has the formula down. You can make fun of Carrot Top all you like but when he’s relaxing in his zero edge pool while you’re stuck pushing paper inside a gray cube who is the real winner in the equation?

The mechanical problems with this film are many. The excruciatingly boring characters that LaBeouf, Fox, Turturro, et al., play are all expendable in my eyes; it shows you what a gimpy script by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman turned in, they could have all died a sinister death by robotic means and I wouldn’t have cared. The running time is just unnecessary as any 5 year-old with safety scissors could have trimmed enough time off this movie to make it endurable. And the ultimate leaps of time and space are embarrassing; when one moment you have robot cars wheeling through a city street and, the next, battling in the middle of a forest there is no need to consult a map as you just aren’t supposed to think about these things.

Ultimately, TRANSFORMERS 2: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is everything that show business is supposed to be about: creating a spectactle by any means neccessary, ensuring the fiscal health of the studio that helped to finance it by attracting the largest audience possible. Bay is an absolute capitalist and this film is an homage to the best, and worst, parts of what makes America great.

Comments: 1 Comment

One Response to “Trailer Park: TRANSFORMERS 2 – Review”

  1. blu-ray player reviews Says:

    Transformers 2 is a good movie when its blu ray disc is goona published anyone?

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