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Behold! The return of the comedy, drama and mystery is upon us!

Yes, fellow sofa surfers, this week has more shows returning then any week prior. TV is in full effect right now and we can relish in it, even though it will flicker out sooner than later.

If you read last week’s column than you know that I laid pretty hard into My Name is Earl. I have to say that I am very happy to say that last week there was no sitcom seen in Earl’s head and there was a return to the quirkiness that the show originally started with. I hope it is a trend that they keep up this week.

Since we will only be enjoying five to six episodes of each returning show before they are gone again, I thought this week I would feature a great show that’s first two seasons is available on DVD. Weeds is an original show from Showtime that is entertaining, funny, hip and scary. The premise is simple: Nancy Botwin is a young widow and mother of two (Mary Louise Parker) has to make ends meet after her husband dies suddenly of a heart attack. Because her husband did not leave her financially set she lives the great American dream and begins peddling the marijuana (thought I’d say it the way my Grandmother always did) to the people in her suburban community. Everyone on this show turns in a great performance, and I’m especially fond of Kevin Nealon who is an accountant/City Councilman/doper and John Kirk who plays the slacker brother-in-law of Nancy. If you don’t mind drugs in your humor then pick up the first two seasons, with the third to be released this summer and the fourth season due to premier on Showtime this June.

Dramedy fans will be happy to know that Ugly Betty, Grey’s Anatomy and LOST are returning this week on ABC, Gossip Girl, Reaper and Supernatural return on the CW, and Moonlight is back on CBS (although I don’t know why on that last one). No matter what your taste is there is definitely a little something for everyone.

That being said, let’s get to it.

MONDAY

CW – 8:00 PM: As mentioned above, Gossip Girl is back. I haven’t watchd this show but I hear it is good trash.

CBS – 8:30 PM: Stunt Casting Alert!We get another glimpse of Robin Sparkles this week on How I Met Your Mother as old boy friend from Canada James Van Der Beek comes to town for a visit. Oh, Dawson, what’s this all aboot?

CBS – 9:00 PM: TV listings for tonight’s episode of Two and a Half Men lists that “Alan fears that Charlie’s womanizing is getting out of control.” After five seasons have the writers forgotten the premise of the show?!?

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: American Idol’s finalists will be getting coached this week by Andrew Lloyd Weber. C’mon, really now? The guy who brought us Starlight Express?

NBC – 8:30 PM: Saturday Night Live: The Best of Chris Farley makes me both happy and sad to see. The infamous Chip N Dale Audition… the joy… the pain.

CW – 9:00 PM: Turns out the gay demons next door on Reaper are going to try to use Sam to get at the Devil. Just when you think you can trust a demon…

WEDNESDAY

ABC – 8:00 PM: On Wife Swap a woman is so sick of city living she shelters her children from the modern media. The perfect way to shelter from the media? Put ‘em on a reality show!

NBC – 9:00 PM: Jessie L. Martin’s swan song occurs on tonight’s Law & Order.

THURSDAY

NBC – 9:30 PM: Tonight on Scrubs Elliot and Carla go to the board to convince them not to let go of Dr. Kelso and Kelso reflects on his time at the hospital. I’m sensing a clip show.

ABC – 9:00 PM: Grey’s Anatomy is back and just about every woman in my life will probably be watching it.

ABC – 10:00 PM: LOST is back and Camp Locke is under attack. Gunshots, explosions and confusion guaranteed!

FRIDAY

CBS –9:00 PM: The return of Forever Kni… er… I mean Moonlight has the lead character temporarily changing from vampire to normal guy. Every time this happens someone gets busy is all I’m sayin.

COMEDY CENTRAL – 9:30 PM: The Emmy Award winning episode of Futurama airs tonight, Roswell That Ends Well. Enjoy.

SATURDAY

I’m sorry, I looked and I looked but there isn’t a damn thing that I can recommend without feeling guilty. Enjoy this day with your family, go see a movie, or just go look out at the stars in the night sky. Because I am, however, contractually obligated to provide recommendations for each day, remember I warned you.

TBS – 8:00 PM: Learn to live and love with Mathew McConaughey and Jennifer Lopez in this touching tale of infidelity in The Wedding Planner.

OXYGEN – 8:00 PM: Bump and grind your night away with Jessica Alba in Honey.

SUNDAY

CBS – 8:00 PM: I feel like the finale is coming early tonight for Big Brother 9. One person is chosen as the winner, and if you have been watching this entire season I think that makes us all the losers.

ABC – 9:00 PM: Dirt, dirt and more dirt on Desperate Housewives! Katherine and Bree go into business together, Mike finds out what really happened the night he was nearly killed by a car and Lynette tries to deny her feelings for another man. Yes, I watch the show.

CBS – 10:00 PM: One of the most important episodes of Dexter’s first season is on CBS tonight. A gory crime scene finally shows us how someone becomes what Dexter is. I can’t wait to see how this is handled on network television!

Will Wilkins never inhaled while watching Weeds.

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