FRED Entertainment

March 12, 2008

Toy Box: Darth Maul Holographic mini-bust

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 5:09 pm

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Gentle Giant has produced many products for many licenses, but I think it’s safe to say that their Star Wars mini-busts not only put them on the map, they’ve kept them there. They’ve released hundreds of busts in the series, and some of them rank up there as the finest Star Wars collectibles around. Others…well, not so much.

One dead horse that GG has beaten back to life and then ridden to death again is the use of exclusives. Now, exclusives that merely mean I have to buy them from Bob’s Shop are no big deal, as long as Bob is given enough product to meet demand. But highly limited exclusives, or those restricted by limitations of space and boundary (like Blister exclusives available only in Japan, or one of the U.K. only exclusives) are enough to twist your Wookie hairs.

For an exhibit in Brussels, Germany later this year, GG is producing 2500 Holographic Darth Maul mini-busts. Only 1500 will actually be at the exhibit though (called Star Wars: The Exhibition), and the other 1000 are available only through Gentle Giant’s own webstore. The busts run $55 each, and are a re-issue of the 2007 Darth Maul bust, this time in translucent blue with a light up feature.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to drop me an email at mwc@mwctoys.com, or visit my site Michael’s Review of the Week – Captain Toy. On to the review!

Holographic Darth Maul light up Mini-Bust

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Packaging – ***
If you’re acquianted with Gentle Giant’s usual Star Wars bust boxes, then this one will be no surprise. It has the advantage of having a window so you can see the final product, but since this is one you’ll most likely be buying on line, it isn’t quite as useful. He also comes with the nifty little baseball card Certificate of Authenticity, something that most of the basic re-deco busts do not. As I mentioned earlier, he’s limited to 2500.

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Sculpting – ****
I loved the sculpt on this bust when it was first released, and it hasn’t gotten any different. They’ve given us Maul in one of his most iconic poses, and the detail is excellent. It won’t be the sculpt that will be an issue, but rather the ability of the viewer to fully appreciate it. Whenever you cast something in a translucent material, the clear properties make it difficult for the human eye to discern the small details and intricate work. There’s no contrast, making it tough to appreciate what’s here.

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Paint – N/A
There’s no paint – he’s clear blue.

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Design – ***
I mentioned the overall design as part of the sculpt, and it’s the same pose and style as the original bust of course. I love that look, no doubt about it. But this time they cast him in this clear plastic, and it is just plastic. It looks kind of cool at first, but it really is a big bust up, and it felt like one in my hand. The resin base adds some heft, but the overall plasticy feel just hurts the impression of what you’re getting.

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The clear plastic also means that glued areas, like hood, show through, marring the overall appearance.

Light Up Feature – ***
The light up feature is powered by three of the small watch/calculator style batteries, and these are included. Pressing a button on the bottom turns it on. The light is nice and bright, and looks good in a slightly darkened room.

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Value – **
At 2500 pieces, this isn’t a particularly limited bust. The inaccessibility of the Brussels exhibition makes it tougher for the majority of collectors to get it, but the 1000 that were available on GG’s site helped ease that burden a bit. This version is not as nice, or as important to the collection as the regular release, and at $55, he’s going to cost you a good ten bucks more. Fifty five bucks for a big bust up, even one that lights up? Meh. If you can only afford one Maul mini-bust, stick with the original.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not a thing.

Overall – ***
I love the sculpt and the pose, but that’s because these are the same as the original release. What’s new here is the translucent blue plastic and light up feature, and both of these are decent if not exceptional. It’s a lot of money for a bust made from existing molds, from fairly cheap material, and in a fairly large edition size. I suspect most collectors will consider this another opportunity by Gentle Giant to scam them out of some more of their money.

Where to buy –
Here your options are a bit limited. Gentle Giant’s site sold out of the 1000, and unless you happen to be in Brussels during the exhibition, you’re probably going to have to resort to ebay. You can use MyAuctionLinks to help you find one.

Related Links –
Other Star Wars mini-bust reviews include:

– the Royal Guard, Jawas, Dengar and Zuckuss were the most recent.

– Other Star Wars mini-busts I’ve covered include Chewbacca and Darth Maul, Jedi Luke, Qui-Gon Jinn, Palpatine and Skiff Lando.

Cabin Fever #15: I’m Ramblin’

Filed under: Cabin Fever — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:05 pm

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Oh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…

cabin.jpgCabin Fever (hosted by the twisted souls Brian Fitzpatrick and Aaron Poole) is the result of having too much time on your hands and access to your local community radio station.

Over the course of an hour, they manage to trawl the depths of good taste, plus throw some music in. How much more could you want from a podcast?… Quality? Oh… we didn’t think of that.

Enjoy! And we hope our cross Atlantic friends can understand the Irish accent 😉

Hugs and Kisses,
Aaron P. + Rev. Fitzy

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CABIN FEVER #15: I’m Ramblin’ – Thankfully, the boys had enough time to record this week, despite technoheads taking up their studio time. This week there’s a lot of talk about relieving yourself on trains in India, your own pants, and numerous other places. Nothing new there, then. Aaron breaks some geek rules and isn’t too sure if he’s done the right thing, while Brian strips off within the first 5 minutes. Good times! We have the first ever Cabin Fever Competition (check the forum for rules and conditions) and music from Joel Moss, Caleb Lee and Tobacco Road. And the show is free! What more could you ask for? Huh!?

[CONTENT WARNING]: Explicit contents! We say every naughty word you can think of. You have been warned!

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #15 (MP3 format)

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SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Aaron & Brian at the Cabin Fever mailbag.

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/12/2008

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Kenny Everett and the DIY Bee Gees Kit… (Thingamabob)

March 11, 2008

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/11/2008

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Buster Keaton’s “The Playhouse”… (Thingamabob)

March 10, 2008

TV Or Not TV: Genesis 3/9 – 3/16

Filed under: Columns,TV Or Not TV — admin @ 11:40 pm

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We’ve all been there. You are sitting on your couch on any given night, remote in your hand and a look of confusion and abandonment on your face because you just don’t know what to watch. You really want something to watch and you just can’t bare to watch something from your DVD collection for the umpteenth time. In that moment of television desperation you may have wished there was someone that would help you find something worth while within the 255 channels of confusion. You may have asked for a guide to steer you clear of the pitfalls and tarpits of bad TV and take you to the all mighty promise land of boob tube perfect.

Hello, my name is Will. I’m here to help.

As with any first article you may ask, “Hey Will, why can I trust you?” Believe me, I’m qualified. Even with having a full time job I some how find enough time to watch full time TV, maybe even more than the hours I put in at work. I’ve had both cable and DirecTV just so I could have East Coast feeds for the major networks and stagger my DVR recording of just about everything on television from 5 PM to midnight and beyond. In the words of Indiana Jones, “Trust me.” If I lead you astray, there’s always TV Guide.

Timing, as they say, is everything and I’m delving into these uncharted waters at the best time possible. Why you ask? Because the ripples created by the writer’s strike are still washing upon the shore of our TV viewing and just about every popular show on television is in repeats right now.

You’re best bets this week are going to be on the first four days of this week (that’s Monday through Thursday in case I’m not very clear). There is something for just about everyone. Friday through Sunday I suggest you find some good reading materials, dust off the ol’ gym membership or take up a new hobby (I hear wood carving is very therapeutic).

In the future I’ll give you my top picks for the week before getting into the nitty gritty. Since things are so sparse instead I’ll just give you a quick run down before I get in to the meat and couch potatoes of it all.

This week keep your eyes out for The New Adventures of Old Christine, Gone Country, American Idol, Jericho, and LOST. I’d also be remiss if I didn’t say that if you have HBO and you aren’t watching In Treatment then you are cheating yourself out of a decent half hour of solid TV every day of the week.

MONDAY

CBS: The New Adventures of Old Christine is one of the two top choices I have for you for tonight. The only reason I’m hesitant to recommend this one is because you need to know a little bit of back story, but at least it is a situation comedy and it will keep you mildly amused.

CMT: That’s right, CMT. If you haven’t caught Gone Country yet then you are in for a treat because there’s a marathon from the beginning. Two words make this show pure gold people: Bobby Brown. Even if you aren’t a fan of Reality Television you have to give this a go.

FOX: New Amsterdam is about an immortal who is now an investigator. I liked this show better when it had another name, Angel.

TUESDAY

FOX: The 800 lb. gorilla stomps its feet again this week as the final 12 give it a go on American Idol. The skunk headed girl some how made it, so tune in with me to root her off.

CBS: The final three episodes of Jericho are upon us, and they could be the final ones of the series let alone the season. If you haven’t a clue what the show is about then bust out that Netflix account and get Season 1 as fast as you can.

WEDNESDAY

ABC: Wife Swap and Super Nanny are back to back so you can enjoy a double header of people who make really bad decisions. If these people making bad decisions aren’t the kind you like then you could always try…

FOX: Moment of Truth just perplexes the hell out of me. So far I haven’t seen anyone come away from this show unscathed. Face it people, it is only entertainment if your dirty laundry comes out on the air, and you should have known better before sitting down. (Oh yeah, the American Idol results show is on after this so if you are lazy you can turn this on and just coast through to 10 o’clock.)

CMT: That lovable underdog Rudy tries to get onto the Notre Dame football team. OK, I’m a sucker for this silly flick, and I can’t tell you why. Hey, at least it isn’t Moment of Truth.

THURSDAY

ABC: I have good news, bad news, and more bad news. The good news: On LOST tonight you finally find out who else makes up the Oceanic 6 and you get to find out who is spying on the freighter for Ben. The bad news: Someone might die tonight. The more bad news: this is the next to last episode until late April.

CW: Two of the only shows I watch on the CW are on tonight, Smallville and Reaper. I recommend the second over the first for the uninitiated. Besides, shouldn’t that Clark guy know how to fly by now?

FRIDAY

FOX: ‘Till Death is new tonight. Oddly enough I feel like I just said nothing is on.

SCI-FI: If you don’t have Netflix but you do have the Sci-Fi channel then you can still get caught up on Jericho. Four episodes of Season 1 air from 8 PM to Midnight every week in this time slot.

SATURDAY

Move along… nothing to see here… all right, fine… I’ll try.

A&E: Arnold stars as a Secret Agent who’s wife has no clue of his real job in True Lies. The most shocking part of the film for me was that I actually liked Tom Arnold’s performance as Arnold’s partner. Go figure.

AMC: Get a new take on the Western genre with Silverado. Enjoy Danny Glover before the Lethal Weapon movies. If this one isn’t your cup of Sasparilla perhaps you might prefer…

ENCORE: Put your boots up and rest a spell and take in Tombstone. Val Kilmer looks scary sickly in this flick as Doc Holiday.

SUNDAY

ABC: Extreme Make Over: Home Edition will undoubtedly tug at your heart strings. I like that Home Edition is still going strong but the show where they were hurting people to make them look better is long gone.

MTV: Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew… sorry, just kidding… I couldn’t resist.

That’s it folks, my guide for what to watch. It’s slim pickins out there so check back in next week and I’ll try to do right by you again. Until next time keep the remote batteries fresh and the couch cushions fluffed.

Will Wilkins missed at least three television shows to write this article. Thankfully, there is TiVo.

Opinion In A Haystack: The Neon Mobile

Filed under: Columns,Opinion In A Haystack — admin @ 11:12 pm

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To begin, a short foray into my foundations of cinematic quality:

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Love is damn beautiful. That seems to be the word on the street at least, and my purpose here is not to counter that fact. What I have a problem with is the “falling” part. I don’t fall in love easily. My heart doesn’t stand on the corner begging for affection with a sign that says, “will break for food.” This applies to all aspects of my life, most relevantly, movies. It takes awhile to get me in the sack, no matter how good the cinematic blow job may be. It takes reflection, analysis, and multiple viewings before I will even let a movie hold hands with me. I need to know where the relationship is going. I need to know that after years of being together, it won’t let me down and my feelings will not flutter away. The Big Lebowski, Robocop, Jaws, and others like them, all share very deep, loving, and highly sexual unions with my brain parts. They are films that have passed the one true test of quality that I, and Matt Damon, have full faith in. That test (Clark Griswold drum roll please) is time!

Time. The enemy and surveyor of all things. The proven god of us all. The one thing we can’t escape or destroy. The only thing Doc Brown ever invented something for that actually worked. I invoke the mighty name of Mr. Damon because this past summer in an EW interview, he was asked what he thought of awards and awards shows. Matt responded by calling them “fucking bullshit,” an answer which, in and of itself, is great alone, but he went a genius step further and stated “The only way to judge a movie is 10 years down the line.” Check the interview out here:

How absolutely right you are sir, and might I add how because of that statement I shall forgive any bad movies you may have done, which thankfully, isn’t a lot. While I am not as militant as Mr. Damon (I have a 5 year rule.), time is the only judge that seems to be overlooked by most of the world, including the pretentious film community. Hell, even the Academy doesn’t think ahead. Planet of the Apes (the real one with Charlton Heston, not the fake one made by the demon-possessed former-genius Tim Burton) didn’t win Best Picture in the year of its release and the film community and the fans still talk about it to this day. What did win best picture that year? Marty? I don’t know, you don’t know, and none of us care.

My point here, if I have not pounded into your head beyond reason yet, is time has the only true say in what is good or bad. Any critiques that are made before an acceptable number of years have passed are just opinions and opinions alone. This is why when a current piece of cinema sucks the vans deferens out of me with its crafted perfection (ala There Will Be Blood or Hot Fuzz) I don’t get down on one knee and offer up a commitment along with Hallmark’s finest. I keep it in a place of honor on the back burner where it shall stay until half a decade later when love, true love, can be allowed to blossom properly with tender, repeat viewings. It can also be used as an example of how much some other current movie sucks compared to the genius of years past. That philosophy might seem ignorant, but coupled with glorious nostalgia of my youthful years gone, it’s just chock full of bliss. Bitter old men are we who cling to what was good and damn what is now, Foolish young men are they who praise without hindsight. Yes, I wrote that quote, and yes, I’m trying too hard. Feel free to put that sentence on any bathroom stall, or perhaps get it tattooed on your epidermis, but please, give me credit for the quote, and if possible, send a picture of the affected area.

Is 2008 too late to file a complaint from 1995? I’m sure it is, but when I was “filing” it back then, verbally, to any one of my half-conscious barely listening school buddies they didn’t seem to know or care what I was obnoxiously “filing” about at the top of my lungs. Several times since the mid point of yester-decade I have brought up this very complaint only for it to dwell upon deaf ears. It’s not that I felt no one knew what I was saying. It’s that no one and I mean NO ONE, seemed nearly as mad at the obvious blasphemy, the inarguable cowshit, and the narrow minded piss poor thought that went into putting NEON FUCKING LIGHTS ON THE BATMOBILE!!!

Sorry, that’s thirteen years of pent up anger flowing out of my fingers like a hummingbird’s neck laceration. Yes, the movie I am of course talking about is the beginning of the end, before the beginning, of the Batman franchise…Batman Forever, Joel Schumacher’s second most hated film, only trumped by the Batman movie he made after it. However, I am not going to rag on Batman and Robin, because the fact that it was without one single doubt a rotting nest of fungus was never as big a surprise to me as it was to those around me. All my friends, parents, teachers, co-workers, and neighborhood chums somehow laid a thick layer of forgiveness on Forever, so much so that it blinded them to the incessantly bright globs of guano being squeezed out on the screen. I always assumed it was their love of Jim Carrey as The Riddler that helped the retinal detachment, but that doesn’t seem sufficient enough. You see, I am not going to even complain about the shortcomings of the movie itself. Bad or good, it was…as The Dude might say, “whatever.” Personally, I will always be a bigger fan of the two Tim Burton films, and the Christopher Nolan film isn’t too shabby either. My main problem simply lies in the clear cut truth in just looking at the Forever Batmobile itself. That is where all the glaring awful signs of this old misfire lay. Why point out the corny dialogue, campy sets, the fact that Two-face acts like The Joker, or the painful addition of Chris O’Donnell as Robin, when the foremost crime hasn’t even been addressed?

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Batman is The DARK Knight. He is that which lurks in the shadows of the city, the one criminals fear as more than just a man, but a BAT man, right? This is a character that originated out of death. This is the all-time premiere hero for those of us who champion the serious, brooding, vengeance for everything and everyone that has ever wronged this world. RIGHT? So I ask you, how did the studio, how did the modelers, how did the producers, writers, hell, even the actors let the greatest fictional car in all of comicdom, one that belongs to the Darkest of Dark Knights (DARK!) ever even make it in front of a camera for five seconds while adorned in neon lights? I don’t understand. And, of course, if it wasn’t bad enough, they let Schumacher do it twice, and then the world complained that it sucked… finally. I’m not going to sit here and put all the blame on Joel. People do make mistakes, and hopefully when said mistakes are engaged and you don’t realize it someone (perhaps, I don’t know, DC comics, or any human with a pulsing heart!) will let you in on the fact that you are fucking hell’s vagina.

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“Hey, Joel…what’s up, man? That pastry looks delicious. Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure.”

“Yeah well, you realize that there are neon lights on the Batmobile right? Like we have all been talking about it and well, black is kinda Batman’s thing…and he has to be dark and mysterious and all of us feel neon might not be the way to go…you know…heh…its neon.”

“Good point. We’ll take off the neon. Make the whole thing pink…”

“Well, uh…like I said…black is rather crucial to the process.”

“Black, huh? Good…go with it.”

Sometimes that’s all it takes folks. Was it really that hard to say something to the man? Schumacher is not made of complete cinematic evil. I have faith that the man that was responsible for such cool flicks as The Lost Boys, Flatliners, and Falling Down could, with a proper tongue lashing, give the world a viable Batmobile. This is especially considering the fact that it was preceded by one of the top-five coolest automotive creations for film ever. Love or hate the movies, the Burton-mobile was beautifully slick, and not too far off from those that adorned the comics and animated series (two mediums I would think garner the most militant respect from comic fans.) So there, I had to let it out; thanks for reading it. I am hoping that someone, if not all people who read this will say “hey I was screaming that too” or something akin to that, because no one ever felt as passionate about it in my own life as I pathetically seemed to. At such an age, movies were worth such passion, while politics, religion, and relationships were the “stupid, boring” problems for adults to worry about. I must say lastly that this fervent outrage was never derived from comic book foundation, merely a firm love of movies and an incredibly firm hatred of such a lack of respect for an iconic American character. Trust me, I would have been just as pissed if they made a movie where Darth Vader was a sniveling little shit…oh wait…

Now, MY TOP 5 80’s and 90’s SECONDARY MOVIE ENDINGS! A secondary movie ending is one that is usually better known as an epilogue, but for our purposes here, it’s an “ending” that takes place after the main conflict or antagonist of the piece has been resolved or killed respectively.

5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) Buffy’s secondary ending can be found after the credits. Here we find Paul Ruebens (better known as Pee Wee) still scuffling around in a stairwell humorously groaning and badly faking his extremely long vampire’s death due to a stake in the heart. Taking into consideration the sounds Ruebens makes here, one wonders if the joke wasn’t heinously ripped off by Family Guy in the Willy Wonka parody episode.

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4. Short Circuit 2 (1988) In what might possibly be the most hardcore 80’s movie to ever exist, we have a secondary ending that takes place right after the fade out of the final chase scene. A chase scene, mind you, that involves a jewel thief getting apprehended by a Mohawk-wearing-sentient-robot (Johnny 5) to the tune of Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding out for a Hero” and ends with a Tarzan swing (accompanied by the famous Tarzan scream) from a crane onto a speedboat. If you’re like me that is pretty much the gateway to the heavens. Anyway, the secondary ending brings us to an induction ceremony for newly accepted American Citizens, where we see a recently refurbished, completely gold-plated, J5 receiving his citizenship to the colonies. Now the reason this is on the list is the shear brilliance of how this scene invokes the signs of the times it’s in. Only in a movie of this era could a robot, with minimal trouble, glass ceilings, and such a short period of time become an EQUAL member of the human race without so much as one person questioning the moral or ethical problems that accompany it. Then entire plot of the Robin Williams movie Bicentennial Man is a robot trying to do what J5 does in months, over the course of 200 years. This mindset is sort of akin to how in the 80’s sitcom ALF, the Tanner family never even took 5 minutes to bother asking ALF if he knew about any of the mysteries of the universe or life. Instead, they were content with trying to stop him from acting on his “get rich quick” schemes. Those were the days.

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3. Wayne’s World (1992) Now, I know what you’re thinking. Yes, Wayne’s World, in all its genius, has three different “didilly-doo” endings to the conflict presented. However, the secondary ending is the one found at the very end of the credits in which we see Wayne and Garth uncomfortably reading magazines. Wayne waxes pretentious and philosophical about the film’s endeavors while Garth meekly states that he simply hopes that the audience doesn’t think it “sucks.” This quiet little moment, and the film that preceded it, are all the more reason to miss the careers of two incredibly talented comedians at the top of their game.

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2. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) The entire sequence with Ed Rooney getting on the school bus is beyond the definition of classic. Is it a secondary ending? Yes. Rooney has already lost, and we get to witness his further humiliation. This is for my money, hands down, the best content shown during rolling credits in a film ever. Also, please note that this movie has a third ending after the credits completely end, one in which Ferris Bueller himself comes out in a bathrobe and in disbelief that we are still there, shushes us to go home. It’s nothing compared to the Principal Rooney scene, but you got to admire how much bang for your buck you used to get at the movies. Having such high quality content during the credits is rarely seen in today’s theaters. We are more relegated to outtakes or badly edited character interviews, not additional story elements.

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1. Poltergeist (1982) The first ending to happen is the entire house getting sucked into the vortex of “the other side.” We all know this. Then there is the beautiful scene of a fear-riddled emotionally-drained family driving quietly away from their literally broken home. They scuffle into a hotel room to the magnificently eerie lullaby of Jerry Goldsmith’s “Carol Anne Theme.” That has got to be one of the greatest quiet moments in cinema history. Left alone, them shutting the door to the hotel room and the credits rolling would be good enough to still keep this Tobe Hooper/Steven Spielberg classic at the top of its genre for over two decades. Then, only seconds after we are allowed to breath relief, the door swings back open and out comes the cheap hotel TV sliding into the side of the walkway, Craig T. Nelson pokes his head out the door for a peak then goes back in leaving the telly outside to rot. Hilarious, fitting, and completely perfect in its timing, this little moment is the ultimate reward to any viewer who witnesses the tribulations of this family for the past two hours. I still say that Craig T. Nelson should have grabbed a best actor nomination for Poltergeist, but I guess Mr. Incredible’s movie winning “Best Animated feature” will have to sate my thirst.

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Honorable mentions:

Die Hard (1988) – Allen shoots the guy everyone thought was dead thus saving McClane’s life.

Back to the Future (1985) – The Flying Delorean

Rocky 3 (1982) – The famous Apollo/Rocky freeze frame fight.

Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) – Dan Aykroyd asking John Lithgow in the ambulance “Wanna see something really scary?”

One Crazy Summer (1986) – Uncle Frank blowing up the radio station, Then, subsequently, the Stork brothers showing up to roast marshmallows.

If you think of any other great secondary endings, please let me know.

Win SOUTH PARK: IMAGINATIONLAND on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:02 am

We’re giving away, in conjunction with Paramount Home Video, five (5) copies of SOUTH PARK: IMAGINATIONLAND on DVD.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Monday, March 17th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Monday, March 17th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/10/2008

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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March 7, 2008

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #33: A Total Eclipse Of The Heart

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:18 pm

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #33: A Total Eclipse Of The Heart – Ken & Dana return with the results of their 2nd annual Oscars bet, wherein Ken decides that he’s no longer going to enter into ludicrous wagers with Dana ever again. Ever. Period.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #33 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-33.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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Trailer Park: Robert Wilonsky Is Ripping Me Off, Man

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 4:40 pm

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

Welcome back…

I’ve been knocked on my proverbial hind quarters this week with some nasty flu like bug that didn’t allow me any coherent thoughts except thinking about the sweet release of sleep wherever I could get it.

However, in a brief moment of clarity I did want to see what anyone in the peanut gallery has to say (simply leave your comments below) about the nature of a flop and what SEMI-PRO has to say for itself. Was $15 million, give or take, an obvious disappointment for the suits at the studio when you consider the amount of brutal advertising that went into this film’s release? Will Ferrell’s face was everywhere, to say nothing of his pronounced presence on ESPN (who hooked that product placement up?) last week, and the amount of spot advertising this thing had all over the airwaves leading up to this film’s release.

As an aside, I realize I know dick about how much cash needed to be laid out for all these things to be in front of the people’s eyes but $15 million almost seems like a conservative figure for all that went into promotions.

Did this dismal showing at the box office (one of Ferrell’s worst of his career) have anything to do with the level of talent that goes into your usual Will movie, namely the absence of Adam McKay?

You see films where there are cores of talented people that move from production to production and this film saw the lack of Adam, a guy who genuinely knows what makes Will good on the screen. While Will Ferrell obviously makes other films without Adam’s help you can see how bad BLADES OF GLORY was, how not profitable STRANGER THAN FICTION was, and it makes a good case for why people can be more or less creative with those who know their style. Judd Apatow has a keen sense of this and, wisely, has kept the band together. I’m generalizing, mostly, here but I am curious to know if anyone else knows of any creative team that is not greater than the sum of its parts and, in fact, only did their best work when all were aligned like planets in the sky.

And, have you had a chance to see reviewer, part-time fill-in for Ebert for a few rounds with Richard Roeper, Robert Wilonsky’s new show, The Ultimate Trailer Show? I have and, to be perfectly honest, it’s a good show. I like someone else doing what I’ve been doing here for years, judging films before anyone has even seen them, and casting a few stones at how someone’s taken the preview material and slapped it on the screen. I do feel a sense of deja vu, though, as I hear someone else talk about how a trailer comes off to a viewer and what it says about wanting to see a film. It kind of validates, albiet in a very minute way, my ramblings in this space. It’s good to know there is something to be said about looking at trailers with a critical eye. Although I think I would be a little easier on the eyes…

That’s it for me. Talk amongst yourselves. I’m going back to bed…

FUNNY GAMES (2008)

Director: Michael Haneke
Cast: Naomi Watts, Tim Roth, Michael Pitt, Brady Corbet, Devon Gearhart
Release: March 14, 2008
Synopsis: In this provocative and brutal thriller from director Michael Haneke, a vacationing family gets an unexpected visit from two deeply disturbed young men. Their idyllic holiday turns nightmarish as they are subjected to unimaginable terrors and struggle to stay alive.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. I hope this film finds its way to a slow, painful wet grave and at least has the decency to pull the dirt over its head.

I can’t for the life of me understand the marketing angle for this trailer. When you have a film that deals with the slaughter of a family by a pair of d-bags who aren’t creepy, who simply look like young actors putting on airs to put themselves over as young Patrick Batemans, you really don’t want to go for the jaunty orchestration that is usually reserved for comedic high jinks that has people slipping on pies and getting rocked by pillows in the face.

No, what we get here is a trailer for a shittily (yeah, it’s a word) plotted out film where you have people’s lives held in the balance by a bet some young homicidal dudes put out there.

What really grinds me, though, is that I partially blame the victims.

We are introduced to an upper crust family who are on vacation or are visiting their second home in the Hamptons; it’s idyllic, serene, hell, they love listening to classical music which just lets all of us know how blue blood these elitist assholes actually are, and they even show this family getting into a wooden sailboat as they plan on getting away from all the trappings of having way too much money. Even the little boy in this thing is shown beaming at the prospect of ingesting Puccini in mass quantities because that will really cement the idea of the filmmakers: these are whiter than white rich folks.

Michael Pitt is trying hard, you can just see it, to try and harness the power of Arno Frisch, the star of the original FUNNY GAMES which debuted some decade ago in Austria. I can already see that trying to use tracing paper to mimic the effectiveness of a satire that held some weight years ago has its problems. Because, like idioms and how they differ from culture to culture, and why its so hard to grasp American “sayings” for many an import to our country, trying to replicate an idea can get lost in transition.

Here is where we are introduced to the same jaunty classical music as the patriarch gets the snot beat out of him with a pair of golf clubs, Pitt trying to be all sorts of Camel cool as he questions whether the victims would like to call the police, ambulance.

I am also troubled by the use of the title cards which tell us, in all caps, THANKS FOR SHOUTING YOU TERDS, “THE GAME IS SIMPLE.” “PICK A FAMILY”, “PICK A VICTIM.”

What follows is hard to take from a consumer standpoint as these two white shorted, white polo wearing a-holes then proceed to do an Eenie-Meenie game before proceeding to thrash Tim Roth, expose Naomi Watts, and just savage the entire family any way they see fit.

I’m no prude but there doesn’t seem to be any hook why I should fiscally support this film if this is either going to result in the family’s killing or the usual Hollywood one-up at the end when the beaten and downtrodden find a way to overcome their aggressors. Naomi’s pleading for her life at the end of this thing doesn’t help matters at all in the slightest.

While I understand that Michael Haneke’s the writer and director for what is, oddly, a retelling of a movie he’s already done (that must have been strange) I don’t think anyone gave any serious thought to how this should be marketed. As it stands this is perhaps one of the worst trailers I’ve seen this year and if this is a satirical examination of violence, which has been done so many times since he released his original, someone in marketing at Warner Independent Pictures needs to take a class in to what people think about women being tortured does to the bottom line.

Here’s a hint: Look at the campaign and grosses for CAPTIVITY.

THE HAPPENING (2008)

Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Betty Buckley
Release:
June 13, 2008
Synopsis: A couple goes on the run from an apocalyptic crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. I can’t get beyond the idea that there has been much made of the “Gotcha!” kind of filmmaking that has plagued the critical explanation of much of Shyamalan’s work. Be it the wretched VILLAGE or LADY IN THE WATER he’s had a lot of movies go the way of box office bust. Films like SIXTH SENSE and UNBREAKABLE make you scratch your head about where is the consistency in what he does.

I am uplifted, though, by this trailer.

No one more than me could be amazed by the meteoric rise (and what a strange idiom; don’t meteors fall from the sky?) of Marky Mark. The guy’s been absolutely grand in movies like THE DEPARTED and BOOGIE NIGHTS and so many others that he comes off just as well here.

The trailer does a little something extra and it’s almost too subtle to notice its strength; we’re allowed to get extended scenes here and get a feel for the pacing, the cinematography and genuine feel for the movie proper.

A discussion about the disappearance of bees has lofted a few plausible thoughts but since this is a Shyamalan flick you’ve got to go to bizzaro lengths to get a good idea to one suitable for him. Hence, the bee idea is taken to its most implausible degree and applied to human beings. Not that I’m breaking bad on the trailer because I’m not. You’ve got a logical beginning, no Voiceover Guy pushing his way into our understanding of this film and a neat segue into a beat cop walking on the street one minute and, the next, dead on the street.

This film’s bizarre-ness is taken a step further in the auditorium meeting with Cameron Frye who starts the proceedings with being ambiguous about what’s happening to people. Now, I get the populist red herring that the Homeland Security, CDC, virus attack grand scale thinking that this could be a terrorist thing is one way to proceed (the trailer does a good job in setting that theory in motion) but the cheesy 80’s retro rock instrumental music is a bit odd. However, the way that this is handled is quite effective. For a movie that is going to be hanging that fist low, ready to pop you in the jaw at the very end in that Shyamalan way, the pieces that we’ve been given here are enough to make you wonder what is It. What will It be?

I’m not quite sure I know what the surprise ending will be when you hear that it really won’t be a terrorist attack (it would be an all too easy way out and I am sure some in Middle America are going to be floored that it’s got nothing to do with terrorist killers) but the real thing that should be apparent to everyone is that M. Night is never going to change.

His style, his perspective on things, the almost generic way he sets his shots up, you’ve got to believe he lives and dies by his writing. Like others who won’t give up the directorial duties to someone else, you’ve got to know it’s a ballsy move to make a movie where you remove one-half of what could carry you through if one part suffers, Hence, that’s why this film’s trailer does well: the story at least has an intriguing premise. Now, whether he can create a sustainable story is another.

But to see those guys falling off the roof? Show me more”¦

Weekend Shopping Guide 3/7/08: Dalmatians In The Wild

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:07 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

It’s been years since the limited edition release of 101 Dalmatians (Walt Disney, Rated G, DVD-$29.99 SRP), but the classic tale of Pongo & Perdie’s pups and the threat of Dalmatian coat fanatic Cruella DeVille has finally gotten its own 2-disc platinum edition. Looking better than ever, bonus materials include a making-of featurette, a look at correspondence between Walt and the book’s author, a spotlight on the inspiration for Cruella, deleted songs, and more. Now when will we get that special edition of Song of the South?

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As if further proof of the arbitrary uselessness of the Oscars was needed, let’s look at the case of Into The Wild (Paramount, Rated R, DVD-$35.98 SRP) – a rather wonderful little film about the real life story of Christopher McCandless (Emile Hirsch), who gave up his comfortable lifestyle to go on an ultimately doomed wilderness walkabout – which the Oscars snubbed save for a deserved nod to Hal Holbrook. I can only hope that audiences will discover the flick on DVD. Bonus features include an in-depth look at the backstory and the making of the film.

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I’m glad that, in recent years, the largely lackluster early-80’s period of Saturday Night Live has been allowed to come in from the cold and at least have its existence, on an official level, be acknowledged. Just a few years ago, I don’t think we would have gotten a documentary examining the totality of that decade like the wonderful SNL In The 80’s: Lost and Found (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). Packed with interviews representing all those casts and writers, it’s a nice complement to the SNL: The First Five Years doc. The disc also contains an additional hour of interviews and clips. While you’re at it, you might as well pick up the SNL: Best Of ’06/’07 (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), which also contains an audio commentary, dress sketches, and Update outtakes.

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Its release was delayed a few months due to printing issues, but the newest issue of Uncle Scrooge – #372 (Gemstone, $7.99 SRP) – is now available, and it’s a very nice celebration of Scrooge’s 60th anniversary. Not only is creator Carl Barks’s “Christmas On Bear Mountain” – the story that introduced the loveable miser – in there, but there’s also stories from Don Rosa and Tony Strobyl, and a poster y Rosa celebrating the anniversary.

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There is a threshold over which a director with a unique vision becomes a director with annoying affectations. With The Darjeeling Limited (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP), Wes Anderson has proven to me that the annoying, cloying qualities of The Life Aquatic were not merely a blip, but a precedent. Like the characters of Aquatic, I find that all of those directorial affectations – and Anderson’s seemingly perpetual fascination with upper class familial dysfunction – make me less than affectionate for the trio of brothers whose Indian reunion after a year-long lack of communication is the focus of the flick. It’s a shame, because I loved Rushmore, and I liked Royal Tenenbaums, and there is a watchable film somewhere in the 90-minute that feels like 3-hours Darjeeling. Bonus features include the short film Hotel Chevalier and a making-of documentary.

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Straight from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld comes the tale of the Hogfather (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$14.95 SRP) – the beloved patron of the holiday Hogswatch, who delivers gifts to the boys and girls. However, there are parties who want the Hogfather out of the way, and it’s up to an oddball group of heroes to sort it all out. Bonus features include an interview with Pratchett and the original trailer.

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Ah, pre-Code Hollywood – an era in the 30’s when cinema wasn’t restrained by content restrictions and was free to put any vice they wanted onscreen, which wouldn’t happen again until filmmakers the 70’s broke down the walls of the industry’s puritan Production Code. The second Forbidden Hollywood Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) features another 5 pre-code flicks – The Divorcee, A Free Soul, Three On A Match, Female, and Night Nurse, fully restored. Bonus features include an all-new documentary on pre-Code Hollywood, audio commentaries on The Divorcee and Night Nurse, and theatrical trailers.

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If you want a quick and easy way to add a quartet of must-have comedy classics from a legendary filmmaker to your collection, snap up a copy of the Billy Wilder Film Collection (MGM/UA, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP). The flicks included in the set are the special editions of The Apartment and Some Like It Hot, and the featureless editions of Kiss Me, Stupid and The Fortune Cookie.

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It seems like you can’t take a step nowadays without hitting a new sketch comedy group. One of the better newcomers is Human Giant (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP), whose anarchic blend is like a Python puree. The 2-disc first season set features the best of their 24-hour MTV marathon, deleted scenes & improv, unaired sketches, audio commentary, live footage, and more.

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A powerful flick with a still-stellar cast gets a much-deserved revisiting with the special edition of 12 Angry Men (MGM/UA, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). In addition to a remastered picture, the disc also contains an audio commentary (with film historian Drew Casper), a making-of featurette, and a featurette on the cast.

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Often overlooked in favor of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Horton Hears A Who (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is another wonderful pairing of Dr. Suess and Chuck Jones that has, thankfully, gotten a brand new special edition and looks better than ever. Bonus features include the documentary In Search Of Dr. Seuss, 3 more animated tales (Dr. Seuss’ Butter Battle Book, Daisy-Head Mayzie, and Horton Hatches The Egg!), and a sing-along video.

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Richard Kimble is still on the run in the second volume of The Fugitive‘s inaugural season (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$36.98 SRP). Fully remastered and still at the top of its game, the 4-disc set features the remaining 15 episodes. These episodes have never looked this good in syndication – and I’d go so far as to say their original airing wasn’t this good looking, either.

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If you were to strip away all of the subversive energy and surreal delights of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and transplant the dull, lifeless corpse into a garishly colorful toy store run by the titular eccentric of Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (Fox, Rated G, DVD-$29.99 SRP), you’d get a zombified dullfest that makes you wonder why everyone didn’t just stay home. Dustin Hoffman does his best Robert DeNiro in The Adventures Of Rocky & Bullwinkle, while Natalie Portman and Jason Bateman are obviously just marking time. Bonus features include a quartet of behind-the-scenes featurettes.

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Time and again, my theory that everything will get a feature-laden DVD re-release is proven. This time, it’s a new 2-disc edition of Mrs. Doubtfire (Fox, Rated PG-13, DVD-$19.98 SRP), featuring deleted/extended/alternate scenes, production and retrospective featurettes, an interview with Chuck Jones about the film’s opening animation (along with the pencil test and final animation sequence), make-up application and tests, improvisations, the original 1993 featurette, publicity stills, trailers, and more.

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All good things must come to an end, and 2- years after the show’s end, so do the DVD releases of Magnum P.I. with the release of season eight (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP). The 3-disc set features all 13 episodes, plus audio commentaries and a bonus episode of The Rockford Files.

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Fans of Cartoon Network’s Storm Hawks (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP) will want to snag a copy of the 2-disc Heroes Of The Sky set, featuring the first 13 episodes of the series.

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If you find yourself craving something exciting and new, then you’re out of luck, because the episodes featured in the Season One: Volume One of that nautical soap bubble The Love Boat (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$36.98 SRP) are over 30 years old. Yes, it really has been that long since Captain Stubing captained the Pacific Princess across the sea, packed with more odd guest stars than old school Batman and Laugh-In combined. This 3-disc set features the first 12 episodes, as well as the original episode promos. Nowhere, however, does Isaac provide any mixology lessons.

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Young Marla Olmstead was hailed as a child prodigy, with paintings compared to Jackson Pollock which began to fetch hundreds of thousands of dollars. However, it all came crashing down when accusations were levied that her amateur artist father was really the one doing the painting. All of this is explored in the fascinating documentary My Kid Could Paint That (Sony, Rated PG-13, DVD-$24.96 SRP), which goes a long way towards illuminating just how ridiculous the art world is. Bonus features include an audio commentary, a featurette, and a follow-up piece.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Comics & Comics: Wrath of Caan

Filed under: Columns,Comics and Comics — admin @ 3:45 am

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Howdy Inter-Webbers, I’m Matt Cohen, and I’m funny.

I’m really funny. Like, soul crushingly so. Even I can admit that there are a few (a very few) funnier then I, and here is a peek at what some of them are up to. So take off your thinking caps, and don your tuxedo tees, cause its time to share in the laughter.

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Big Screen

Semi-Pro: The first solo flick from writer (and UCB alumni) Scott Armstrong puts Will Ferrell into the “lead” role of yet another sports comedy, this time a basketball film, and amazingly another very funny movie is born. Plot-wise, Semi-Pro is nothing groundbreaking and often pretty thin but that doesn’t stop Ferrell and Co. from packing in the laughs. Ferrell stars as Jackie Moon, owner, coach and power forward of the struggling ABA club, The Flint Michigan Tropics, a loud, boisterous and yet extremely likable fool of a man. The film, set in the mid seventies, finds Moon and the rest of his squad struggling to secure a place in the NBA, after the impending mergers between the two organizations. Ferrell, in an out of ordinary move, takes backseat in the film, to the supporting cast, particularly Woody Harrelson as a washed up former pro, and Andre Benjamin as a young talented upstart. The marketing of the film is misleading in this regard, because I fully expected to go in a see a Will Ferrell movie. Not to say I was disappointed with the overall outcome, just that Jackie Moon definitely is not the focus of Semi-Pro, and though Ferrell kills in his on-screen time, I really would be hard pressed to consider him the lead of the film. Semi-Pro is filled with an excellent supporting cast; particularly Will Arnett and Andy Daily steal the show, as the two Tropics radio commentators. This movie isn’t quite as funny as Anchorman or Talladega Nights, but those are two brilliant films in my opinion, and living up to that level of excellence is hard to do. Semi-Pro is a very funny movie, not perfect, but definitely worth checking out.

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“If I sink this shot, I’m taking the whole team to Carvel for sundaes and fun!”

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Films to Look for:

Stepbrothers: After about three viewings of the trailer, I have come to the conclusion that this looks like one of the funniest movies of the year, if not the last few years. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly re-team, this time as the titular step brothers, two thirty something men who find themselves sharing a bedroom with a complete stranger. The trailer is short, but glorious. The two men quickly find themselves going from bitter enemies to best friends, and the transition looks to be hilarious (John Stamos!!!). This is the first team up between Ferrell, Reilly and director Adam Mckay since Talladega Nights hit theaters, and it appears as if the wait has been worth it. I know people who are already quoting one liners from the film, and thats just after seeing a short preview. In Taladega Nights Ferrell and Reilly proved they are a great comedy twosome, and Stepbrothers looks like its certainly going to solidify that.

Pineapple Express: A 40-something second trailer containing guns, pot, and a song by M.I.A. (Paper Planes), and with that, I was completely and fully hooked. The trailer for Pineapple Express is an odd bird, to say the least and that may be why I’m so intrigued/excited by the film. Seth Rogen and and James Franco (In fully on hippy Jesus look-alike mode) star in a film written by Rogen and partner Evan Goldberg (the same team behind this summers Superbad) and directed by David Gordon Green of all people. If you are unfamiliar, Green is a renowned director of hard hitting, intense low budget films, such as All the real girls and the indie fave George Washington. This is not going to be a typical comedy. Early advances say that the film is “too dark” for most average comedy goers, some even saying disturbingly so. I’m a fan of all the folks involved, and a fan of the content as well, so this film is high (I’m clever) up on my radar of movies to see in 08.

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“Alright, just wait for it and that picnic basket is ours!”

Baby Mama: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler star as a single working woman (Tina Fey) and her surrogate mother to be (Poehler) in this upcoming comedy. Written by Fey, it is her first starring vehicle since her newfound fame on TV’S 30 Rock., and the trailer looks like she has hit a line drive first time up at bat. The movie is sweet, but not nauseatingly so, and Poehler’s character looks to be one of the ditziest/funniest female I have seen onscreen in a long time. Fey seems to be staying in her usual “Straight-Woman” territory, but that is where she excels so you’ll hear no complaints from me. This will also be Poehler’s first co-lead and I personally think its about time, because in my opinion Amy is the funniest women alive. With two stellar leads like this film has, I think Baby Mama is one to watch for.

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DVD Review

Human Giant Season 1: Its no secret that I am a huge fan of this series, and the DVD offering of the first season does not disappoint viewers, hard-core or newcomers alike. This two-disc set comes jam packed with uncensored extras, best of clips from the 24 hour Human Giant MTV marathon and loads more. The most important part of a sketch show is the sketches of course, and lucky for us, Human Giant knows how to provide the funny, on a more consistent basis then any sketch show I’ve seen in a long time. With this two disc set, the viewer gets every uncensored episode from season 1, three hours of bonus features and an infinitely larger amount of laughs. So if you’ve seen the show, or you are a noob, pick up this set and I can guarantee you will laugh till your eyes hurt, take a break, and then laugh again.

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One of these men is really large. (Hint: It’s not the little one)

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Well, thats it for this week. Check back in a fortnight (I’m very cultured) for a look at next weeks comics, and special guest Jesse gives us his opinion on the much celebrated, Batman: The Animated Series. Be there or be square… And squares are no fun. Four sides…. Pft!

and as always,

“Keep em’ bagged and boarded”

Matt Cohen is trying to build a mountain out of a mole hill, but the moles are being real jerks about it.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/7/2008

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:23 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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March 6, 2008

Party Favors: Billy Mays For President

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:07 am

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partyfavors2008-03-06.jpgDENVER – This year it sucks to be a vice presidential candidate.

The Democratic Convention isn’t till the end of August. The Republicans meet the first week in September. Does it really take this long for the delegates to construct donkey and elephant themed hats?

This means we’ll get six months of “Guess the Vice President.” Brace yourself for reporters ending every interview with a politician with: “Would you accept the job of Vice President if it’s offered?” It’s like adding “in bed” to a fortune cookie message. MSNBC already asked it to Elmo if he’s ready to replace Dick Cheney on the ticket. He’s hot the red states. Although my support for the future V.P. is pitchman Billy Mays. He knows how to promote American innovation and products. Which nominee will nab the man who gave us Oxiclean? Neither candidate is going to tip their VP choice since that’s what creates real surprise at the convention. Nobody in May will be wearing a “Second In Command In Training” vest. It’s an infernal pundit guessing game meant to last all summer long.

Coincidentally Jeff Zucker at NBC is already planning a new arena gameshow entitled, Are You Willing to Accept the Job of Vice President? It will follow their upcoming slate of “competitive reality shows” that includes What’s In My Pocket?, How Much Does Your Belly Button Lint Weigh?, and Black Sock or Navy Blue Sock?

Why exactly is a major TV network wasting an hour with My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad? Remember when this show was on Nickelodeon and called something like Family Style Double Dare? Why does NBC run it at 9 p.m. on a Monday? That’s pretty late for a school night. They can call it, My Dad Doesn’t Care What Time I Go to Bed. Hasn’t NBC news run news reports about how kids need to get more sleep. And now they do this? Jeff Zucker doesn’t care that your kids don’t get to bed till 10 p.m. Get with your own truths, star of Fat Actress.

NBC’s Amnesia is even worse as a gameshow. I don’t care if people can remember their fifth grade teacher. Why does Dennis Miller keep having a career? Has he used his Thesaurus joke on the show yet? He’s like that wad of bubblegum you swallowed in second grade that you swear is still stuck in your small intestine. In Japan, if someone had failed as pathetically as Miller did on Monday Night Football, he’d commit ritualistic seppuku. Celebrity Seppuku would be perfect for VH1. Whatever happened to giving the people what they really want?

LOL GOP

Everyone keeps claiming that Fox News is the propaganda machine of the Republican Party, but they’re wrong. Comedy Central is the true Kingmaker of this year’s GOP. You need proof? Gov. Mitt Romney and Mayor Rudy Giuliani were on Fox News as much as Bill O’Reilly and Shepard Smith. There were rumors that certain Fox News insiders were White House bound when either of their candidates became elected. But a funny thing happened on the way to the convention: Mitt and Rudy flailed, failed and bailed.

Why?

The Colbert Bounce and the Daily Show Phenomena devastated Fox’s favorite sons. Mike Huckabee was as unknown as that freakish senator from Alaska. But then he was clutched into Stephen Colbert’s patriotic bosom. This quasi-endorsement allowed the Arkansas governor to win primaries while Mayor Rudy fled to Florida to blow his campaign chest on a “fire wall” vote.

McCain was ignored by Fox News who decided he wasn’t worth their Campaign Carl exclusives. Fox trademarked “America’s Mayor” for Rudy. Mitt was practically co-host of Your World With Neil Cavuto. Jack Welch was jealous at Neil spending so much face time with “The Man Who Saved the Winter Olympics.” McCain didn’t even have a Roger Ailes endorsed nickname. But there was always a warm seat on The Daily Show set for McCain. Jon Stewart didn’t completely faun over him like Cavuto’s tongue slicking back Mitt’s hair. Stewart took the senator to task for going back on his straight talk – especially when he sucked up to the forces that ambushed him in South Carolina during the 2000 election. But at least Stewart cared enough to talk to McCain unlike that Fair and Balanced News Channel. And now who is in the catbird’s seat? How does Roger Ailes feel with the knowledge that his machine was derailed by a fake news show or more properly expressed, “An openly fake news show?”

When it comes time for press coverage from the convention floor in Minneapolis, Colbert and Stewart should walk the floor not merely as fake news reporters, but as the swizzle stick that stirs the GOP drink. Forget Rush, Coulter and Roger Ailes, future Republican presidential candidates better kiss the true rings of power.

OSCAR GOREY

There’s only one way to save the Oscar’s ratings – the 2009 host must be Gary Busey. Imagine the look of panic in the eyes of Helen Mirren when she realizes her path to the Golden Boy goes through the arms of Busey.

Instead of the memorial montage, a psychic should predict which Academy members will be in the grave before the next ceremony. Extreme close-ups will capture the shock of those marked for death.

KISS AND DEFLATE

Remember when Gene Simmons wanted us to call him Dr. Love? Thanks to the unexpected release of his sex tape, he’s now been reduced to Orderly Perfunctory.

The Kiss frontman has spent the last three decades bragging about his sexual powers. Has he ever done an interview with a female reporter that didn’t include him hitting on her? He tempts them with his tongue and the treasure restrained by his codpiece. He was going to rock and roll them all night.

Even on the recent Apprentice, Gene sold himself as God’s Gift to women. Did he not lock his sunglasses on Ivanka Trump’s rack? He swore the Manhattan socialite wanted to understand “Detroit Rock City.” He passed himself off as a stud on A&E’s Family Jewels. America bought into the legend that Gene Simmons at nearly 60 still had the mojo.

But then the video of Gene boffing a blond with heavily augmented breasts hit the internet. Instead of fans of Family Jewels rejoicing at this carnal find, there was a complete letdown. “My eyes!” they screamed as if they opened up the ark of the covenant.

There’s nothing sexy about Gene’s seduction. He keeps his t-shirt on as if he was the second coming of Ed Powers. He doesn’t even remove his pants from around his ankles. This dress code only acceptable for scoring with the ladies in toilet stalls. Gene doesn’t use his legendary tongue for foreplay. He pulls a Col. Sanders. He licks his fingers to moist up her extra crispy giblet. There’s no kissing. The woman does her best to not look directly at Gene’s face while he half-heartedly schtumps away on her. She wants to imagine him in full make up as the Demon and not face the reality of Gene’s aged sourpuss face.

She wears her flip-flops onto the bed. Is she afraid of catching a foot fungus from Gene? This is not a sexy sexual encounter. Michael Jackson’s turkey baster is more romantic with the ladies.

As far as sex tapes go, this is a complete disaster. It makes Kim K Superstar look like Last Tango In Paris. The Johns in Brent Owens’ Hookers At the Point series have more seductive moves than Gene. For the upcoming season of Family Jewels, A&E is running a promotional campaign for people to vote if Gene really had sex with 4,800 women. Who couldn’t have sex with 4,800 women at $20 a pop? They even have a billboards up with the number – as if Gene was the McDonald’s of Groupie Sex. If you notice, it only says “4,800 women” and not “4,800 satisfied women.”

Even worse is Gene telling people that the sex video is from five years ago. That means he was younger when he screwed the blond as if he was taking out the garbage. The nice thought is that Gene can get some crossover action by having this footage featured on a very special episode of Discovery’s Mythbusters.

THE DVD SHELF

The writer’s strike might be over, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up watching DVDs for broadcast TV. Here’s a few new arrivals that have piled up on the Grand Wega.

Beowulf was much more fun to watch than the version inflicted upon us in English 112. The battle scene between Beowulf and Grendel was pretty damn intense. But the tension was undercut when they kept coming up with Austin Powers gimmicks to hide Beowulf’s cyber dong from the camera’s view. Seeing how I’m watching the “Unrated Director’s Cut,” why couldn’t they allow Beowulf Jr. to flap freely in the heat of combat? And what’s up with Angelina Jolie having the same accent as Beaky Buzzard’s mom from the Looney Tunes cartoons?

Mod Squad: Season One, Volume 2makes me wonder how can any criminal resist the pout of Julie Barnes (played by Peggy Lipton)? She knows how to make the kindest soul feel guilty. The second half of the first season keeps up the fun as the young undercover police trio bust old criminals and save groovy chicks. They survive a plane crash in “Flight Five Doesn’t Answer.” They saddle up as undercover cowboys in “Fear Is the Bucking Horse.” The prime episode of boxset is “Keep the Faith, Baby” with Sammy Davis Jr. as a priest and Robert Duvall as killer. Julie, Pete (Michael Cole) and Linc keep it solid with their crimefighting skills. Youngsters should recognize Linc since Clarence Williams III played the Harlem crime boss Bumpy Johnson in American Gangster.

Love American Style: Season 1, Volume 2 keeps the love coming from the greatest kitsch series of the Seventies. Two of my favorite episodes are included. Both involve Batman stars. “Love and the Big Night” has Tony Randall get his shot at Julie Newmar. She’s the swinging secretary that enjoys shagging the married guys at work. Felix gets his freak on with Catwoman. Big warning – you do see Tony’s bare chest. “Love and the Great Catch” has Adam West playing himself while visiting George Lindsey. Batman tangles with Goober! The true joy of Love American Style is having TV and film icons tangle on a neutral show.

Love Boat: Season One, Volume 1 took over from Love American Style in allowing stars a chance to act outside of their sitcoms. Jim Nabors, Tab Hunter, Robert Hegyes, Sandy Duncan, Jane Curtain and James Bond III all boarded the Pacific Princess in search of amore. The series launched the coolest bartender to sail the high seas in Isaac Washington (Ted Lange). He revolutionized the mixologist in pop culture. The show pure mindless fun. The Love Boat mocked the viewers since it was quite obvious that if you were watching it on Saturday nights, you weren’t getting much love. You weren’t heading off to a romantic location. Spending time with Gopher allowed America feel that they weren’t that lonely.

101 Dalmatians: Platinum Edition is a major upgrade from the 1999 barebones release. This Disney animated classic deals with sweet Cruella De Vil’s dream of collecting enough puppies to make herself a Dalmatian coat. The puppies decide that they don’t want to sacrifice their lives for fashion. What would Tim Gunn say about this? There’s tons of bonus stuff including a 33 minute documentary about the film and legendary animator Marc Davis discussing Cruella.

No Country for Old Men was the only Oscar nominated film that lured me into paying full price. And it won the golden boy. I still have nightmares of checking into the wrong hotel room and discovering Anton Chigurh. Javier Bardem (better known to Regis as Xavier) gives a Terminator level performance as the killer who can’t be stopped when he’s on a mission. Josh Brolin plays the man who stumbles upon drug loot and thus becomes Anton’s next target. One of my favorite films of 2007.

Flight 29 Down: Season Two is Lost for kids except it doesn’t confuse you with timelines, polar bears and giant magnets. A pack of kids attempt to survive after being stranded on a tropical island. The entire series wraps up on Tango Hotel: Series Finale. Remembering my school days, I’d be the first to resort to cannibalism.

Things We Lost in the Fire reminds us that Halle Berry winning the Oscar wasn’t a career fluke. She can act in films that aren’t completely dumb like Catwoman. She plays a mom struggling with a tragic event. She thinks she finds a steady hand with Benicio Del Toro, but he’s got his own demons. This film could have easily devolved into a Lifetime movie, but the performances keep it from going off the tracks.

Into the Wild is the creepy tale of Chris McCandless. After graduating from college, he gave away all of his possessions and trekked into Alaska. Sean Penn does a magnificent job at showing the rush McCandless must have felt on his journey. Not to spoil the ending, but it’s not the feel good hit of the year. This would make a great double feature with Werner Herzog’s Grizzly Man.

Descent has ended any sexual fantasies involving Rosario Dawson. She plays a college girl that’s sexually attacked by a classmate. She plots a really nasty revenge on her date rapist. Fans of Frank Zappa’s “Bobby Brown” won’t wince as much as the rest of us. Make sure you get the NC-17 cut for the complete “AHHHHHH!” factor.

Trading Spaces: Specials is a great way to distract the wife when you need private time during March Madness. The DVD has 4 of the hour long specials including “Trading Castles.” Paige Davis hosts two of them. It’s nice to see TLC has brought her back to host the show. Did you know that designer Hildi Santo Tomas worked for Sen. Jesse Helms?

IS PARIS ITCHING?

I’m applying for the “Be Paris Hilton’s New Best Friend” MTV reality show. First I’ll have to host my own VH1 reality show to help me win her show. “Corey Connection” allows drug dealers to compete for my “friendship.” Can aspiring Tony Montanas get me anything that Paris wants at 4 a.m.? A year after my victory as Paris’ new best friend, I’ll be hosting “Don’t Scratch That!” from the Center for Disease Control.

TODAY TOMORROW TONIGHT

According the Magic 8 Ball, Jay Leno won’t be leaving NBC when he steps down from hosting the Tonight Show. Jeff Zucker will have Jay host the upcoming fifth hour of the Today Show.

There will be a nasty ratings dive for the Tonight Show if Leno goes to ABC or Fox. While Conan has his followers, he attracts a different audience than Leno. More people tune into Conan after watching Letterman. A drinking buddy at a certain ratings service says that at least 20% of Conan’s “audience” is comprised of people who fall asleep during Leno. While Conan might have done well against Letterman and Kimmel, he’s dead meat if Leno sticks around at 11:35 on ABC or 11:00 on Fox.

Zucker’s wooing Jon Stewart for Late Night to replace Conan. But sources, who have seen Jon on TMZ, claim he has no intention to give up The Daily Show. What’s the point of moving from 11 p.m. to 12:35 a.m.? Stewart enjoys being able to keep up a daylight audience with the constant replays on Comedy Central. Plus he’s the GOP Kingmaker. Conan can’t even get a Dr. Pibb at the NBC commissary. The dark horse candidate for Late Night is The Daily Show‘s Rob Riggle. Carson Daly hosting the hour is considered the “If terrorists blow up New York and Los Angeles while Carson Daly is golfing in Texas” option.

Zucker can always mix things up by having a two and a half hour late night Deal or No Deal or American Gladiators Afterdark.

MORE NBC GAME SHOWS

Our man in Burbank has slipped us the top secret list of all the game shows Jeff Zucker is pondering for upcoming prime time schedule.

Arf Arf – Contestants have to match dogs with their owners.

Patient Zero – Guess who gave everyone in a group of people a communicable disease.

I Got Your Nose – A contestant has to guess which of five people truly has their nose sticking out of their fists.

National Peek-A-Boo Night – America wonders where the host has gone when he covers his face with his hands. Riveting TV, Tom Shales will declare.

Fresh or Sour – Contestants have to guess the expiration date of milk.

What Did I Have For Lunch – Contestant gets a fart in the face and has to identify the foods in the gas.

Do You Know Who I Am? – Drunk celebrities avoid being arrested for drunk driving by flaunting their star power.

Know that Colon – Can you spot your spouse’s colon when a cam’s been shoved up it?

ROCK OF SHOTS

Faithful reader Zan W. pondered a great question: Is Bret Michaels auditioning for Wilford Brimley’s Liberty Medical gig? Both men spending most of their time on TV talking about their diabetes. As soon as Bret wraps on Rock Of Love 22, he’ll be ready to tell us how to order all your diabetic supplies.

If Bret really wants to be the new Wilford, he’s going to have to drop the bandana action. Wilford doesn’t mind showing off his sexy scalp. How much hair is really attached to Bret’s dome? A recent Rock of Love had a girl “surprise” Bret with breakfast in bed. She allegedly woke him up. He still had the bandana on. How many hours did Bret have to prepare himself for the “surprise?”

Brace yourself: MyNetwork will be airing a sitcom starring Flavor Flav called Under One Roof. Expect to see a rise in reports of people ripping their eyes out.

END THE PAIN

I fear being trapped in a theater watching Mike Myers’ The Love Guru. My eye are already hurting from the trailer. Please tell me that this isn’t really a movie, but a fake trailer spoofing the cinema of Myers.

At some point I’ll see Semi-Pro since Jackie Earle Haley plays a rabid fan of the Flint Tropics. It’ll probably be a matinee.

OPRAH’S BIG GIVE

What would I do if Oprah handed me a pile of money? I’d give her directions to where Gayle King is buried alive.

The press went nuts with the announcement that Discovery Health Channel will become OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. There was buzz that Oprah would revolutionize TV with uplifting programs for her followers. Remember when Oprah pushed the Oxygen Channel? The station devolved into continuous marathons of Bad Girls Club and Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. What the hell went wrong with that channel? How did it go from empowering women to exploiting them like a trainwreck version of Girls Gone Wild? Does Oprah feel bad that she birthed this bastion of trash TV that exists to give E!’s The Soup classic highlights? OWN will feature Gayle King’s Ultimate Jell-O Wresting Academy by the end of the year.

FINAL UPCOMING NBC SHOW

Did I Wash This Underwear? – Can be played on To Catch A Predator with the pervs before Chris Hansen steps out from behind the screen.

Win NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:14 am

We’re giving away, in conjunction with Walt Disney Home Video, three (3) copies of NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN on DVD.

A pair of award-winning filmmakers and an acclaimed cast propel a riveting crime saga to its unforgettable conclusion in one of the most honored films of the year, No Country for Old Men, coming to DVD and Blu-ray Disc on March 11, 2008 from Miramax Films. Joel and Ethan Cohen deliver their most gripping and ambitious film yet in this sizzling and supercharged action-thriller. This gritty game of cat and mouse will take you to the edge of your seat and beyond. A collection of behind-the-scenes bonus features including a look at the Coen Brothers filmmaking process makes the No Country for Old Men DVD and Blu-ray Disc an experience you don’t want to miss.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Thursday, March 13th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Thursday, March 13th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/6/2008

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Never Mind The Buzzcocks episode 21×03, Part 1… (Thingamabob)

March 5, 2008

Win MY FRIENDS TIGGER & POOH on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:47 am

We’re giving away, in conjunction with Walt Disney Home Video, two (2) copies of MY FRIENDS TIGGER & POOH: FRIENDLY TALES on DVD.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Wednesday, March 12th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 12th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/5/2008

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:09 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Smothers Brothers on What’s My Line(Thingamabob)

March 4, 2008

Toy Box: Halo 3 Action Figures

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 2:29 am

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If you’ve already checked out the other half of my Halo 3 review at my regular site, you might want to skip down to the actual review. I’m stealing liberally here.

Halo 3 holds quite an impressive record. It’s had the highest opening day gross of ANY form of entertainment EVER. The game took in 170 million dollars on it’s opening day. Do the beautiful people need any more proof that us geeks have taken over the world?
I don’t play Halo, but I get the general premise. You’d have to be pretty out of touch not too, let’s face it. The good guys are Master Chief and the other Spartans, cyborg supersoldiers. They battle the Covenant, a diverse race of aliens driven by religious fervor to wipe out humanity.

Mcfarlane Toys picked up the Halo 3 license to produce action figures, and have just released their first wave. There are a TON of figures to pick up, and I’m reviewing three here today (EVA Spartan, Brute Chieftain and Cortana) and I’m reviewing for more over at my site (Master Chief, Grunt, Jackal Sniper and the Mark VI Spartan). There are several exclusives, including a blue Mark VI exclusive to Wal-mart, a white Mark VI Previews (specialty store) exclusive, a blue CQB exclusive to Wal-mart, a steel CQB exclusive to GameStop, and an active camo EVA exclusive through Mcfarlane’s webstore. I believe there’s also a green version of the Grunt, but I haven’t seen one yet. That’s a ton of figures!

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to drop me a line at mwc@mwctoys.com. On to the review!

Halo 3 – Cortana, Spartan Soldier (red EVA), and Brute Chieftain

These figures are hitting regular retailers now including Toys R Us, and you can expect to pay around $10 – $14 each. I have some online suggestions at the end of the review as well.

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Packaging – ***
I personally hate the term ‘green’ – I feel bad for the poor environmentalists who were poo-pooed for years, but now that companies see a chance to make a buck, they’re all over the ‘green’ concept – but I have to point out that my biggest issue with these particular clamshells is the amount of waste. All of them (including the Brute) could stand to be in smaller clamshells, since I don’t really need to buy Chinese air.

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However, there’s a huge plus here that I feel keeps these from dipping any lower in score – personalization. I’m a big proponent of packages that discuss the specific character held within, rather than using the same generic insert or cardback for the entire series. Here we get specific info on each game persona, as well as info on accessories and other variants. Hey, if I can get this kind of info on ever series, I’m more willing to kill the planet.

Sculpting – Brute Chieftain ****; EVA ***1/2; Cortana ***
One thing that Mcfarlane rarely has trouble with is sculpting – this set is a fine example of their best work. There’s plenty of small detail work, much finer and cleaner than you normally see on a 5″ scale. In fact, the scale is probably going to be the biggest issue most folks have with this line.

The Brute Chieftain is the brute his name implies, standing about 6 1/2″ tall. He towers over the 5″ EVA, and looks both menacing and evil. I love the skin detail work, which contrasts nicely against the smooth texture of the armor plates. Nothing is just painted on, as every line, design and bauble is carved into his flesh or armor.

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The EVA version of the Spartan soldier sports a similar body to the others, with minor redeco changes to the armor. The helmet is the biggest change of course, with the EVA wearing a more ‘lunar mission’ style than the Mark VI. Either way, he looks terrific, and there’s enough difference between all the Spartans to make them stand out on the shelf.

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Cortana is the least interesting of the bunch. Her sculpt is very plain, due in large part to her A.I. characterization. I didn’t really expect a ton of detail, but she really is just a 4″ tall hunk of PVC. The hair sculpt has some nice detailing, and her face is quite pretty close up, but the consistent blue/black colors make it difficult to see these details with the nekkid eye.

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As I mentioned, the scale might be an issue for some folks. These are in a 5″ scale, making them look alright with the Spider-Man, Superman or Batman movie figures from the last couple years…and that’s about it. Since it’s unlikely you’ll be mixing and matching with those less than stellar movie lines, these guys are going to have to hang out on the shelf by themselves. The sheer number of them being released helps ease that a bit though, giving you plenty of characters to put together, and for the sixth scale fans, they are supposed to be doing a 12″ version of Master Chief later this year. And if you’re a Revoltech guy, there are some in this scale as well that should go together nicely.

Paint – EVA ****; Brute Chieftain ***1/2; Cortana ***
Another area that Mcfarlane tends to be strong in is paint quality, particularly with their non-cartoon lines. Here we see lots of well done paint details, a good use of wash to bring out the sculpts, and very clean details where appropriate.

Cortana doesn’t have much of a pallette range though, which causes what details there are to be hard to see without magnification. The paint work is generally clean, although some of the cut lines between the dark blue paint and clear plastic were a little sloppier here than I’d expect. The translucent blue plastic looks good though, and the added paint details complement this cool (temperature wise) appearance. The smaller circuitry work on her legs is outstanding, although you might not notice it at first glance.

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Like the other Spartans, the EVA version has a clean consistent visor color, with good detail work on the sculpted lines of his armor. They’ve used a glossier finish for the armor too, setting it apart nicely from the matte black areas of the suit. This difference in finish gives the impression of different materials, adding realism to the overall appearance, particularly at this small scale. I had some stray marks and damage on my Master Chief, but the EVA was very clean.

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Finally, there’s the Brute. He has the most small detail paint work of the three, and the majority of it looks terrific. I particularly like the work on the eyes, mouth and elaborate head armor. There’s a little slop with most of the silver highlights though, and I would have liked more contrast between the finishes of the armor and the skin, ala the EVA. The similarity between the finish causes the armor to blend in a little too much with the rhino like flesh, and I think the glossier look would have worked better here.

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Articulation – EVA ****; Brute Chieftain ***1/2; Cortana Bupkis
For small figures, these have a TON of articulation. Mcfarlane only claims 18 points or so for the Spartans, but because of the way the joints are designed, they have far more posing potential than most other similarly articulate figures.

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Except for Cortana, that is. She has no joints whatsoever. Zippo. Zilch. Bupkis. You better like her pose, because it’s what you get.

All the Spartans, including the EVA, have excellent ball jointed necks that give them tons of personality in every pose. They also have true ball jointed shoulders, hips, and ankles. All of these joints are articulated on both sides of the ball, giving them an excellent range of movement. You’ll have to work some of the balls free, particularly the ankles, but once you do, you’ll be able to do a ton of creative poses.

He also has ball joints at the wrists, elbows and knees, but these are jointed on just one side of the ball. Still, these joints work fantastic, much better than we’ve seen in other lines.

Finally, they have a half foot pin joint, and a rocker chest. The articulation is really, really impressive on the Spartans, and the more I played around with them the more I liked them.

The Brute Cheiftain has similar articulation, but the sculpt and armor does restrict it a bit more. He has the terrific ball jointed neck, shoulders, hips, ankles, wrists, elbows, knees, rocker waist…even a modified hip joint where the ball attaches to the torso that allows for additional movement. But his armor and bulk does restrict some of the posability, at least more than on the Spartans. It’s not a major issue, but pulls him down slightly.

Accessories – EVA, Chieftain **1/2; Cortana **
The one category with this series does poorly is Accessories. There aren’t nearly as many as you might expect considering the game and style of play.

The EVA version of a Spartan soldier has his gun, with a good sculpt and paint. All three of the Spartans that I have now exhibit drooping gun barrels, which sounds like an excellent idea for an ED commercial. Still, with a little hot water/cold water, you can have them straightened right out.

He also has a grenade, and two pegs to attach the grenade and gun to his body where there are convienently placed holes.

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The Brute Chieftain comes with his deadly weapon, and the small end pops off to allow you to more easily slide it into his right hand. He can hold it in a number of menacing ways, and the sculpt and paint are excellent. This is easily my favorite accessory out of the first series. He also comes with one of the little pegs to attach the weapon to his back.

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The only thing that Cortana comes with is her base. There are three LED lights in the front lip of the base, pointed back toward her like spotlights. Put a couple AAA batteries in the compartment on the bottom (they are NOT included), and with the flip of a switch you get the light up effect. I shot a photo of that effect below…it looks kind of cool in the shot, but keep in mind that I left the shutter open for about 20 seconds to get the effect. Yep, the lights are THAT dim. Get some seriously juiced up batteries and you might have a little more success, but don’t expect this thing to light her up like Britney on stage.

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Fun Factor – EVA ****; Chieftain ***1/2; Cortana **
These are actually great toys – not the usual Nerd Hummels that Mcfarlane has become known for over the last few years, but more of a return to their early days when they were trying to produce the coolest action figures on the market.

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Of course, the static Cortana isn’t nearly as much fun as the other figures, and most kids would find her pretty boring.

Value – EVA, Chieftain **; Cortana *
You can find these at some retailers at $10 each, and at that price you can easily add another half star, and maybe even a full one. They are light on accessories to be sure, but the articulation, sculpt and paint make up for it if you’re spending a ten spot.

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However, most places you find these will be charging $12 – $14. At that price, you really aren’t getting a great value, especially for the weakest of the bunch, Cortana.

Things to Watch Out For –
If you’re picking them out on the shelf, watch for the best paint jobs. In general, the ones I’ve seen are quite consistent, but occasionally there’s one with a scratch on the visor.

Also, the wrist pegs on the EVA could tear if they are painted tight. Take extra care freeing them up, and even use the freezer trick if necessary.

Overall – EVA ****; Brute Chieftain ***1/2; Cortana **1/2
For quite some time now, Mcfarlane Toys has gone the route of the plastic statue. Even with licenses like the Simpsons, 24 and Lost, they stuck with Nerd Hummels rather than providing any real articulation. Some folks were beginning to wonder if they could even do good articulation any more, let alone great.

This line proves they still can do it, and do it better than anyone else in this scale. The joints are useful, tight, and have a terrific range of movement. This was no easy feat either, because the Spartans aren’t superheros clad in skin tight spandex. If they were, the articulation could easily be added and the sculpt wouldn’t interfere with it. No, these are armor clad fighters, and generally figures wearing armor have poorer articulation, simply because people believe that it has to be that way. It’s just natural that the armor is going to interfere, isn’t it?

Mcfarlane proves that doesn’t have to be the case. Yea, the huge Brute still has a few constraints, but the Spartans are both armored AND articulated, and this useful articulation doesn’t hurt the appearance of the sculpt at all. This is one of the best overall lines Mcfarlane has produced in some time, and I’m hopeful that the smaller scale won’t turn folks off to giving them a try. Once you get them out of the package, you’re going to find that they are much better than you might have anticipated, and most of your concerns over their size are likely to vanish.

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Where to Buy –
If you’re looking for the regular figures, I’d suggest hitting Toys
R Us or your local GameStop. You can also find them at these great
online retailers:

Urban-Collector has a case of 12 for $130. This might be your best bet to get a full set.

– CornerStoreComics has them for $13 – $14 each.

Entertainment Earth has them in stock at $14 each.

YouBuyNow has them at $15 each.

– or you can search ebay using My Auction Links.

Related Links –
Before Halo 3, and before
Mcfarlane got the license, Joyride Studios made larger action figures based on Halo 2. Here’s some guest reviews:

– here’s their version of the Grunt.

– there’s also a guest review of the Elite Guard.

– And you can’t forget their version of Master Chief!

– I’ve also reviewed four more of this first series over at Captain Toy/Michael’s Review of the Week – Master Chief, Mark VI Spartan, Jackal Sniper and Grunt.

Comics in Context #216: The Omega Enigma

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 2:25 am

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cic200834-01.jpgMonths before comics writer Steve Gerber passed away, I had already been planning to write about him in “Comics in Context” this year. My subject was going to be the original Omega the Unknown comic book series, which Gerber and his collaborator Mary Skrenes jointly conceived and wrote for Marvel over three decades ago.

I first read Omega when it was originally published in 1976, but I didn’t particularly like or understand what Gerber and Skrenes were getting at. Still, I was a devoted follower of Gerber’s work and kept reading the series till its abrupt end with only its tenth issue. A few years later in 1979, after Gerber had left Marvel, writer Steven Grant devised an ending for Omega in the pages of The Defenders, whereupon the character sank into nearly total obscurity, remembered only in an entry in the 1980s version of The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe‘s “Book of the Dead.” (Rereading that entry, I realized that I probably wrote it: the style seems like my own.)

Probably Omega would have remained forgotten had it not been for the highly acclaimed mainstream novelist Jonathan Lethem, whose past work, including a 2003 book titled The Fortress of Solitude, after Superman’s arctic headquarters, demonstrates his knowledge and love of superhero comics. Fortress also mentions Omega, whose series Lethem read as a boy, and when Marvel invited Lethem to write for the company, he chose to revive Omega. The project was announced in 2005, although the new series did not appear until late 2007. Marvel’s editor in chief explained that “winning the MacArthur Grant”–known as the “genius” grant–“put additional and unexpected demands on [Lethem’s] time”. Here’s yet another way the world of comics has changed in the 21st century: how often has winning a “genius” grant served as an excuse for a writer delaying a comics project?

But the fact that Lethem would be doing a high profile revival of the character provided sufficient impetus for Marvel to reprint the entire original series, and even the Defenders wrap-up and my Handbook entry, in a full color trade paperback titled Omega the Unknown Classic in 2005. Had it not been for Lethem’s interest, Marvel would not have awarded “Classic” status to Gerber and Skrenes’ original Omega stories. They would surely have remained neglected rarities in back issue bins, just as I expect that Marvel finally got around to reprinting Jack Kirby’s Eternals after three decades because Neil Gaiman was going to revive them.

Moreover, I notice that Gerber and Skrenes’ names don’t appear on the front cover or spine of the paperback. I presume Marvel’s rationale is that if it listed Gerber and Skrenes and Mooney, they’d have to list Scott Edelman and Roger Stern, who each wrote a fill-in issue, and Grant for the Defenders issues, and every artist who worked on any of these stories. I see the point, but Gerber, Skrenes and Mooney created the series and did the majority of work on the stories in this book. When Marvel has been trumpeting its association with mainstream novelists like Lethem and Stephen King, it seems unfortunate to me that the “Classic” Omega paperback’s front cover and spine treat the series creators as if they were anonymous.

I had decided to wait until Lethem’s ten-issue series ended later this year, and then write a “Comics in Context” installment comparing and contrasting Lethem’s series with Gerber and Skrenes’. But since Gerber died a few weeks ago, it makes more sense for me to write about the original Omega now, thereby concluding my trilogy about his groundbreaking comics work in the 1970s.

Rereading the original Omega after so many years was eye-opening: I had grossly underrated the series, and I can understand why Lethem found it so intriguing.

Perhaps what made Omega most challenging to the comics audience of the mid-1970s was that it depended upon mysteries that Gerber and Skrenes were in no hurry to resolve, and that, indeed, were left unsolved when the series met its untimely end.

The central enigma was the nature of the connection between Omega‘s two protagonists: the mysterious title character, an alien humanoid who rarely spoke and became a superhero on Earth, and a strange, precocious yet emotionally distant 12-year-old American boy, James-Michael Starling (named after comics writer/artist Jim Starlin). Gerber and Skrenes continually offered tantalizing hints and suggestions in their scripts but never an explanation.

Perhaps Gerber and Skrenes were attempting to draw their readers more fully into the stories and the characters through Omega‘s riddles, inducing the members of the audience to devise their own, personal readings of Omega‘s mysteries and metaphors. For years comics readers and even many comics pros have insisted on exposing secrets, even when the mystery is far more dramatically resonant than the rather prosaic eventual solution (as in Wolverine: Origin). Perhaps television series such as Twin Peaks, The X-Files and Lost have now made the popular culture more appreciative of works that draw dramatic and thematic power from their ongoing conceptual puzzles. This is one of the ways in which Gerber and Skrenes were ahead of their time in Omega. (On the other hand, Omega followed the television series The Prisoner, whose meaning continues to be debated four decades later.)

For the sake of argument, I’m going to ignore the Defenders‘ explanation of the Omega mysteries, which Gerber and Lethem both reportedly disliked. I prefer to speculate about other, more rewarding possible solutions, for which Gerber and Skrenes laid the groundwork.

The opening pages of the first issue (March 1976) show the costumed figure of Omega, on a clearly alien world, running towards the unseen source of destructive ray blasts. On the next page we will discover that Omega’s assailants are robots. Captions have fallen out of favor in today’s comics industry, but in Omega Gerber and Skrenes demonstrate one of the ways they can be used effectively. Omega‘s omniscient narrator provides a running commentary offering an interpretation of the characters and events we witness, thereby provoking us to raise further questions about them. The first caption tells us, “Some unforeseen factor interrupts the orderly flow of events, and without warning, a finely-tuned organism erupts in discord, violence.” In other words, Omega existed in a state of peace and order, which was suddenly disrupted by something–the robots’ attack–beyond his control. Not only do his enemies indulge in violence, but Omega must also turn violent in order to stop them. Although violence is a familiar, perhaps essential element of the superhero genre, Gerber and Skrenes nonetheless continually question the use of violence in their Omega series. In this opening scene, Omega may need to employ violence to defend himself, but the “finely tuned” is nonetheless thrown into “discord” by using it.

But why refer to Omega as an “organism,” rather than as a person? Gerber and Skrenes are distancing their narrator–and us–from both Omega and the action, encouraging us to adopt an analytic perspective–not unlike that of Omega and James-Michael, as we shall soon see.

Atop page two, as Omega hurtles at the robots, as the caption tells us, “The mind searches furiously for a key to it all: what is it? What went wrong? Why? How?” As noted, Gerber and Skrenes deny the readers such keys to the series, forcing them to hypothesize their own.

The narrator continues, “The body, meanwhile, does what it must, to survive!” as we see Omega smashing some of the robots with his superhuman strength. Notice that the narrator describes Omega’s body as if it operates independently of his mind.

That mind is portrayed as questioning and analyzing, while the body is driven by the primal need to survive, which animals share. That is an emotion, and, as we shall see, both Omega and James-Michael have analytical minds that usually seem disconnected from their capacities for emotion. One of Gerber’s recurring themes is that of the human being who distances himself or herself from certain emotions. Remember that in Gerber’s Man-Thing classic “Song-Cry of the Living Dead Man” (see “Comics in Context” #214: “The Essential Steve Gerber”), protagonist Brian Lazarus, despite the terrors that overwhelmed him, believed that he was becoming like a “computer,” unable to connect emotionally with others. The story’s female lead, Sybil Mills, made a habit of suppressing her own capacity for empathy and love. Are the attacking robots, with their inhumanly analytical, emotionless minds meant as metaphorical mirror images of Omega?

Next the narrator describes this black-haired, super-strong costumed alien as “this last of his superior breed.” Did Gerber intend Omega to be a variation on Superman, just as his earlier character Wundarr, from Adventure into Fear #17 (October 1973), more explicitly had been? Omega too will escape to Earth in a spacecraft, although as an adult, and live on his adopted planet as the sole survivor of his race.

Puzzlingly, the narrator then informs us that the “chaos” surrounding Omega is the result of “the pain and the passion and the fire“ (all terms indicating emotions) “to which he alone remains heir.” Do Gerber and Skrenes mean that Omega somehow induced the robots to attempt to destroy him? Or did they intend the robots to be externalized representations of the capacity for violence within Omega himself?

As Omega shoots energy blasts from his hands, the narrator continues, “The energy–the creative force–could be disciplined only so strictly, held seething in check only so long, before it burst forth–ravaging, mindless, uncontrollable.” Gerber and Skrenes seem to be saying that Omega only has a limited ability to discipline and even suppress his capacity for violence, which will inevitably “burst forth,” overwhelming his rational control.

What do Gerber and Skrenes mean by referring to Omega’s energy as “the creative force”? I confess I feel perplexed by this. Does Omega somehow represent the creative artist, whose abilities can either be used constructively or twisted to negative ends?

Omega realizes that there is a solution. He falls to his knees, rendering himself vulnerable to attack, as the omniscient narrator, apparently describing Omega’s thoughts, informs us that “An organism ceases to live when it ceases to grow.” In the next panel a robot blasts Omega with its ray gun. The narrator, unperturbed, goes on: “The element of change, which loomed so terrifying”–like a robot assassin, or death itself?–“was in fact the only hope of salvation.” So as the robot launches a attack on the hero, the narrator invokes a term that could refer to Omega’s fate in the hereafter. “To resist, to dam the flow, to go rigid“–as in repressing emotion?–“was to abandon all hope,” a phrase associated with Dante’s gateway to hell. This sequence closes with a close-up of Omega screaming in pain, as the narrator tells us that Omega must “wait for the ordeal to be over.”

What sort of “growth” and “change” is it that entails an “ordeal” that seems to entail submitting to possible death? Of course, the Joseph Campbell “hero’s journey” involves symbolic–or even real–deaths and resurrections. In submitting to the robot’s attack, Omega may be crossing a Campbellian threshold from his old life through actual or metaphorical death into a new sort of existence.

This sequence also reminds me of the climax of Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, a decade and a half later (and if you haven’t read it, skip the rest of this paragraph). Responsible for the death of his son, and incapable of change (in conventional terms, anyway), Morpheus allows himself to be slain in punishment. A new embodiment of Dream, a young boy, takes his place. Gaiman depicts the new Dream ambiguously: the new Dream is simultaneously Daniel, a human boy who has been elevated to this supernatural status, and is the old Dream reborn under what is termed another “aspect.” What coincidental relevance might this have to Omega?

Gerber, Skrenes and Mooney segue from the close-up of Omega screaming to the panel that introduces James-Michael Starling, in the exact same pose, wearing the exact same facial expression, “shouting,” as the narrator tells us that “the agony,” meaning Omega’s, “may span a universe.” James-Michael awakes, but cannot remember his dream apart from the “feeling” of “cold and “desolation.” But the implication is that through that dream James-Michael saw and perhaps somehow experienced what just happened to Omega. The series will explicitly confirm that James-Michael sees Omega in his dreams. So, at the very least, there is a psychic bond linking them.

But is there more than that? If James-Michael sees Omega in his dreams, is it possible that James-Michael somehow “dreamed” Omega into existence? Were Gerber and Skrenes commenting on the way that young boys imagine themselves to be the superheroes they read about in comics? Is Omega a projection of James-Michael’s fantasies of the ideal hero?

Certainly there are similarities between Omega and James-Michael. Omega is the last of his kind, and therefore has presumably been leading a solitary existence. James-Michael has been living in a home in the mountains with his parents, who have home schooled him. He says he has met other children, but they “bored” him. Hence, apart from his parents, James-Michael has likewise led a solitary life.

But now James-Michael’s parents are leaving the mountains and moving to New York, and they insist that he attend school there. His father tells him, “You must begin to interact with other children. . .meet other kinds of people. . . .” (With his black hair and glasses, James-Michael’s father looks something like Omega disguised as Clark Kent.) Later his mother asks him, “But the prospect of facing the unknown–learning, growing–don’t you find that exciting?” There’s that notion of growing, again. Omega and James-Michael each resists the idea of changing until outside factors abruptly alter his peaceful status quo.

James-Michael is precociously intelligent, and speaks in a formal, adult manner. As we shall see, like Omega he has an analytical intellect that is divorced from his capacity for emotion. In nearly her last words, James-Michael’s mother tells him, “The intellectual needn’t exist in scholarly isolation.” James-Michael may be only a boy, but Gerber and Skrenes seem to be signaling that he also represents the cerebral adult who cuts himself off from social interaction or experiences beyond his own, safe ivory tower. Remember that Brian Lazarus was a writer who lived alone.

James-Michael’s mother advises him, “Open up, James Michael. Your life is just beginning.” Gerber and Skrenes put that entire last sentence in bold lettering. I wonder if they might have intended it to be not just figuratively but literally true. There is no proof in the comics that James-Michael existed before that moment he woke up screaming like Omega. James-Michael may recall leading his life before that, but how can we be certain that those memories are real?

The narrator told us that the serene state in which Omega lived changed abruptly due to “some unforeseen factor.” You could describe what next happens to James-Michael the same way. A truck collides with the Starling family’s car. James-Michael revives to see the severed head of his mother, who turns out to be a robot. She warns him not to listen to “the voices,” and then her head melts into metal sludge before his eyes. The deaths of parental figures play a role in many superhero origin stories, but this is one of the weirdest and most horrifying.

Presumably James-Michael’s “father” was also a robot who met a similar fate, though, perhaps significantly, Gerber and Skrenes never show us the father’s remains. Is it possible that he was not a robot and survived? Is it possible that the mother who was in the car was human and survived, and left a robot duplicate of her head with her unconscious son. But why would they abandon James-Michael like this? And if James-Michael’s “parents” really were both robots, who were his real parents? Or didn’t he have any parents?

The newly orphaned James-Michael is understandably unable to cope mentally with the horror, and hs “body succumbs to its state of shock“; again, Gerber points to a disconnect between a character’s mind/logic and his body/emotions. “One reality recedes, another takes its place, equally grim, equally horrifying,” the narrator states, as the scene shifts from James-Michael to Omega. Is the narration implying that James-Michael and Omega share the same consciousness, which has just shifted from James-Michael’s world to Omega’s? (Think of Desmond in the February 28, 2008 episode of Lost, “The Constant,” in which his consciousness shifts between two different locations in time and space.)

James-Michael saw flames rise from the scene of his automobile accident. On Omega’s world “Here, too, columns of flame shoot skyward.” Throughout the original series, Omega and James-Michael’s lives repeatedly parallel each other in various ways. Forced to leave his homeworld, Omega has figuratively become an orphan like James-Michael. Both have unwillingly embarked on journeys to a strange new place, which, in both cases, turns out to be New York City.

The story again segues from a close-up of Omega to a close-up of James-Michael, as he awakens in he Barrow Clinic in New York City. Here he is attended by a nurse, Ruth Hart, whom attentive Marvel readers of the 1970s would recognize as the girlfriend of Gerber’s fictional surrogate, Richard Rory from Man-Thing. Although James-Michael was “thrashing” in his sleep, once he wakes up he is abnormally “calm” and “analytical.” Moreover, whereas a normal boy would be anguished over losing his parents, James-Michael seems to be almost indifferent to their deaths. He is capable of feeling emotion, as his dreams demonstrate, but in his waking life he seems cut off from his own feelings.

The solitary James-Michael also refuses to talk to Ruth, who confesses to clinic head Dr. Barrow that she has difficulty “relating” to people. Nonetheless, since Dr. Barrow is unable to keep James-Michael in the clinic as a charity case, Ruth agrees to let him live at the apartment she shares with her roommate Amber Grant.

Amber is a wonderful character: feisty, funny, liberated and sexy, she immediately hits it off with James-Michael and becomes his mentor in the ways of the world. (Is it a coincidence that Amber is originally depicted with the same color hair as James-Michael’s mother?) She’s such a good character that it’s surprising that, as far as I know, Marvel has not used her since the original Omega storyline, even though her job as a freelance photographer for The Daily Bugle could easily lead to appearances in Spider-Man and other series. In these dark and dismal times for the superhero genre, though, it may be a blessing in disguise for a character to remain safely in obscurity, lest one of today’s writers subject her to fates like rape, mutilation, madness, and murder.

When Amber first meets James-Michael, he is playing chess with himself. “I can’t play chess alone anymore,” Amber tells him. “I keep anticipating the other me’s next move before I turn the board around.”

James-Michael responds, “It’s easier. . .when you feel like two people all the time, anyway.” Aha. The divided self is one of the great themes of the superhero genre, with such famous examples as Clark Kent and Superman or Bruce Banner and the Hulk. You don’t have to have a literal secret identity to relate to the idea that there are different sides to your personality, as Amber indicates.

When James-Michael talks about feeling “like two people,” Amber replies, “Yeah, I can dig that. The voices get pretty loud sometimes, don’t they?” James-Michael becomes excited that she too hears the “voices.” James-Michael may indeed be “hearing” voices in his mind, as the story has previously indicated, whereas Amber is speaking figuratively. Presumably she is referring to the subconscious mind. Again Gerber and Skrenes are pointing out that the fact that certain characters in the superhuman genre literally have multiple selves is a metaphor for the multiple aspects of any person’s psyche.

So James-Michael and Amber have something in common, and they quickly bond. Not only that, but meeting Amber has aroused another sensation in the 12-year old James-Michael, on the verge of puberty: “Who is she?. . .Why does he feel. . .ever so slightly. . .aglow?”

His reverie is interrupted when one of the robots from his dreams invades his bedroom. In the manner of comic book robots, it talks aloud to itself: “Unmistakably the correct target. Yet it has altered its proportions. Smaller. . .more compact. . . .”

This is close as Gerber and Skrenes come in the series to explicitly defining the connection between Omega and James-Michael. The robots’ target, obviously, has been Omega. This robot identifies James-Michael as Omega, albeit in “smaller” form. In other words, James-Michael is Omega in a different form.

Yet the adult Omega immediately arrives and battles the robot, who notes, “Re-evaluation is called for.” The adult Omega and the child James-Michael exist simultaneously.

Yet they still seem to be, somehow, the same person in separate forms. There is another key passage in the next issue, in which Amber and James-Michael walk by Omega, who is wearing ordinary Earth clothing (and is unrecognized by the boy). “Grow up to look like that,” Amber tells James-Michael, “and I’ll forget my position on monogamy and marry you!” James-Michael is bewildered, asking, “Merely because I would resemble that man?” There we have it: Omega looks like an adult version of James-Michael.

Maybe the resemblance could be explained if James-Michael were Omega’s son, somehow displaced through time and space. But Gerber and Skrenes seem to be pointing in a different direction.

I wonder if Omega is Gerber and Skrenes’ variation on the original Captain Marvel. The child Billy Batson can magically transform into the super-powered adult hero Captain Marvel, who presumably looks like Billy all grown up. (In the original stories he cannot simultaneously exist in his Billy and Captain Marvel forms, although in Jeff Smith’s recent Shazam series, they can in certain circumstances.)

Gerber and Skrenes may supply another hint in issue 3 when they introduce Freddie, a crippled boy who heroically hits the supervillain Electro in the shin with his crutch, giving Omega the opportunity to defeat him. One of the original Captain Marvel’s allies is the crippled boy Freddy Freeman, who can magically transform into the superhero Captain Marvel Jr.

Let’s return to the final pages of issue 1. As Omega battles the robot, James-Michael, watching, “feels” a “cold, calculated loathing“ “as though it were his own“: “And yet, it is not his own. . .and yet, it is. . . .” James-Michael must be sharing Omega’s “loathing” of the robot, just as he feels the same pain that the robot inflicts on the costumed adult. (It’s like the title characters of Alexandre Dumas’ 1845 novella The Corsican Brothers, who share an empathic bond. Remember, too, how the Man-Thing’s empathic power enables him to feel the emotions of others.) James-Michael’s analytical mind is bewildered by this unexpected emotion. Finally, James-Michael unleashes energy blasts from his hands, just as Omega can, destroying the robot, and leaving burn marks on his hands resembling the Greek letter omega! If Omega and James-Michael are somehow the same person, these connections make more sense.

In the opening pages of issue 4 the narration makes clear that Omega does not know why he feels compelled to remain on Earth when he could leave in his spaceship at any time. (Indeed, of all the planets in the cosmos, why did Omega come to Earth if not for James-Michael’s presence there?) But the series repeatedly shows that Omega feels a responsibility to protect James-Michael. Why? Does Omega subconsciously sense a fatherly obligation to shield his younger counterpart from harm?

In the opening pages of issue 1, the narrator told us that “An organism ceases to live when it ceases to grow,” and that “the element of change” was “the only hope of salvation.” Had the adult Omega “ceased to grow” so he somehow triggered the creation of a new, younger self–James-Michael? It’s as if, instead of sending his son to Earth, Superman’s father Jor-El was himself reincarnated as a child on Earth. Was that the “change” that Omega found necessary?

In issue 2 James-Michael and Omega each finds a place to live in the dangerously downscale Manhattan neighborhood called Hell’s Kitchen. (This was years before Frank Miller turned Hell’s Kitchen into the main locale for Daredevil or its subsequent gentrification.) In general, in each story what happens to Omega somehow parallels what happens to James-Michael.

This hall of mirrors effect extends to other characters, as well. In the second issue James-Michael encounters Bruce Banner, who transforms into the Hulk and battles Omega. Banner/Hulk, of course, is a prime case of duality in the superhero genre, having two physical forms, one an emotionally repressed intellectual and the other embodying uncontrollable power. So it is very appropriate that the Hulk is the first guest star in the Omega series.

The original Omega series abruptly ended in issue 10 with a shocking cliffhanger (spoiler alert through the end of this paragraph), as Omega was gunned down by police. Steven Grant’s wrap-up of the Omega saga in Defenders cleverly connected the dots to solve the mysteries in a way that was true to the letter of the series but not its spirit. For example. he established that Omega and James-Michael were separate beings, artificially created by those alien robots. Omega really was dead (although he had easily survived a bullet to the head in issue 6!). James-Michael, unable to contain the “uncontrollable” Omega energies, went into an insane rage but finally incinerated himself rather than harm his friend Dian. (It’s rather like the later “Dark Phoenix Saga” ending, isn’t it?) For readers who cared about Gerber and Skrenes’ two protagonists, this was surely unsatisfactory and depressing.

In 2005, after Marvel announced that Lethem would be writing the new Omega series, Gerber wrote in his blog that “Omega was one of only two series from my early days at Marvel that I really did care about in a personal way. The other, of course, was Howard the Duck.” He explained that “Much of Omega‘s content was derived from personal experience, both mine and Mary’s. We drew heavily on our own childhoods for aspects of James-Michael’s story and on observation of our neighborhood – Hell’s Kitchen in New York, circa 1975 – for the setting of the book.”

Gerber was infuriated that Marvel planned to have someone other than himself and Skrenes revive Omega. His anger at Lethem subsided after he and Skrenes were put in contact with him. Gerber stated that “As best I can tell, Jonathan is a very nice guy who was acting with the best of intentions.” and that Lethem “claims he was unaware of my history with Marvel, including the lawsuit over Howard the Duck, until the present incident arose; I choose to believe him.”

But I find this disturbing. In the world of corporate comics, it seems that often it does not even occur to editors or writers that maybe the original writer of a property should get first crack at working on a revival. Or that it would be unwise for the company to alienate important creators from its past. Yet I know of case after case in which comics writers are slighted in this fashion. Didn’t Lethem ever wonder what Gerber and Skrenes would think of his writing the series they originated?

Despite making peace with Lethem, Gerber still contended “that writers and artists who claim to respect the work of creators past should demonstrate that respect by leaving the work alone — particularly if the original creator is still alive, still active in the industry, and, as is typically the case in comics, excluded from any financial participation in the use of the work.”

How workable would such a policy be? Should every Batman story have to receive the approval of Bob Kane’s widow? On the other hand, DC Comics doesn’t allow anyone to do new stories with Neil Gaiman’s Morpheus or commission sequels to Watchmen or V for Vendetta, even though Alan Moore is unlikely to work for DC ever again. (Sometimes, though, I wonder if some future DC administration will decide to do a Watchmen sequel or new Sandman series about Morpheus without the original creators. And I would bet that there would be writers lining up to work on them, while professing admiration for Gaiman and Moore.)

Gerber publicly proposed that Lethem “simply retitle the story and rename the characters”: “Make the book your own, and I’ll have nothing to complain about”. Lethem’s series is still titled Omega the Unknown, but whether because of Gerber’s request or not, he has renamed other characters: for example, the boy protagonist is called Alex, and his nurse is Edie. I would be unhappy if Lethem’s Omega is meant to supplant Gerber and Skrenes’ version in Marvel’s official continuity. But perhaps the use of different names means that Lethem intends these to be different characters than the original cast, and that history is now mysteriously repeating itself with variations.

I’ve only read the first four issues of the Lethem Omega so far, so it’s still too early to judge what he intends to do with the concept. So far, however, I am disappointed. The new version lacks the original’s rich subtext of metaphors, its psychological complexity, and its vivid characterizations and dialogue.

But I am grateful that Lethem’s revival of Omega redirected my attention to Steve Gerber and Mary Skrenes’ original version, which impresses me far more today than it did when I read it over thirty years ago. As Lethem described it at the 2007 New Yorker Festival, the original Omega does indeed seem like a potentially great work, left in a fragmented state. And “the Omega flap,” as Gerber called it, reminds me that Steve Gerber’s legacy to American comic books is not simply his collection of memorable characters and stories, but also his pioneering work throughout his career fighting for comics creators’ rights.

Copyright 2008 Peter Sanderson

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/4/2008

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:47 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Harry Chapin Tuesday! Let’s kick it off with “Cat’s In The Cradle”… (Thingamabob)

March 3, 2008

Cabin Fever #14: Peck’s Curse

Filed under: Cabin Fever — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:37 pm

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Oh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…

cabin.jpgCabin Fever (hosted by the twisted souls Brian Fitzpatrick and Aaron Poole) is the result of having too much time on your hands and access to your local community radio station.

Over the course of an hour, they manage to trawl the depths of good taste, plus throw some music in. How much more could you want from a podcast?… Quality? Oh… we didn’t think of that.

Enjoy! And we hope our cross Atlantic friends can understand the Irish accent 😉

Hugs and Kisses,
Aaron P. + Rev. Fitzy

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CABIN FEVER #14: Peck’s Curse – This week, our intrepid heroes experience that most Irish of phenomenona – Murphy’s Law. What can go tits up, does this week – be it song intro rambling or an interruption from The Duck Upstairs. They discuss lurking pythons, vampiric tax men, and explain how homosexuality causes earthquakes”¦ all the while waiting for the sky to fall. If music doth sooth the savage beast, then”¦ er”¦ they have good music. Tim Cameron and “CJ” provide some awesome audio entertainment, and there’s a world exclusive of The Tastydactyls awesomesauce new single. Enjoy, and please refrain from breaking any mirrors.

[CONTENT WARNING]: Explicit contents! We say every naughty word you can think of. You have been warned!

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DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #14 (MP3 format)

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Got something to say? E-mail Aaron & Brian at the Cabin Fever mailbag.

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Win 101 DALMATIANS on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:55 am

We’re giving away, in conjunction with Walt Disney Home Video, three (3) copies of 101 DALMATIANS on DVD.

Available for the first time as a 2-disc special edition on March 4th, 2008, the 101 Dalmatians: Platinum Edition is brilliantly restored with enhanced picture and sound and includes all-new, never-before-seen bonus features that will have fans of all ages howling with delight: An all-new interactive “Virtual Dalmatian” game with over 101 possibilities to adopt, train and care for your very own virtual puppy, deleted songs, behind-the-scenes featurettes, an in-depth look at the personal correspondence between Walt Disney and Dodie Smith, (author of the book The Hundred and One Dalmatians), and much more.

You can view the trailer HERE.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Monday, March 10th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Monday, March 10th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/3/2008

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:52 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Charlie Chaplin and the globe scene from The Great Dictator(Thingamabob)
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