VIRGINIA CITY, NV – Why start off the New Year by staring at the skeletal remains of The Crypt Keeper and his son (Dick Clark & Carson Daly) or the skanky duo of Ryan Seacrest and Tila Tequila? HBO is giving you a sexy reason to drop your ball at 12:05 a.m. with Cathouse: The Musical.
Dennis Hof has allowed America a peak behind curtain of his Moonlite Bunny Ranch to see how a legal brothel runs. This year he’s raising the curtain and putting on a show worthy of a Mickey Rooney-Judy Garland movie. This isn’t an amateur hour production as evidenced by this clip.
Who came up with the brilliant idea of a musical that’s geared toward heterosexual men? Hof and a few of the Bunnies phoned up the Party Favors to explain this entertainment spectacular. “Sheila Nivens calls me and says, ‘Cathouse: the Musical.‘ I said, ‘Great! Let’s do it.’ And she said, ‘Can you sing?’ “Sing? I banged 11 out of 13 girls in the church choir. Of course I can sing. Hell ya, I can sing.’ ‘What about the girls?’ ‘They can sing, too. If they can’t we’ll make ’em sing. We’ll teach ’em.’ That’s what happened.
Nivens picked out a special song from 42nd Street for Dennis to croon. He was up for the challenge. “They started sending out singing coaches and choreographers to teach the girls and me. We’ve been in the process of this special for ten months at least.”
This wasn’t merely having a girls lip synch around the Bunny Ranch while servicing V.I.P customers. “They really spent the money on this,” Dennis declared. “For the filming of the musical, I had them go to Piper’s Opera House. It’s a historic place in Virginia City. Five or six presidents have been there for events. Mark Twain was in a play there. HBO paid a year’s rent on the building. They spent a fortune building all the set. As much effort has gone into this one show that has gone into the entire 11 week series.”
There would be more musical accompaniment than the proverbial piano player in a whorehouse. “We’ve got a whole band. We have a whole orchestra,” Dennis said.
Patti Kaplan, the most influential director in America, tapped into her inner Bob Fosse to capture this spectacular. The hour-long special mixes the women singing and dancing with their everyday work. This isn’t just a cut and paste musical performances that you’d catch on PBS during pledge month. Dennis is still amazed at the transitions.
“We used my nightclub as a rehearsal space. The decor is a little bit like the Ranch. When you’re watching the rehearsal it looks like we’re in a different part of the Ranch. They filmed all the tryouts, the dance rehearsal and they mixed all this stuff up. You’ll be seeing at the Ranch a bunch of girls sitting around a Sybian. Brooke comes out, gets on the Sybian and has this earth shattering orgasm. It flips into her song. It’s a beautiful set and she looks like a million dollars. It’s amazing how they led into all this stuff.”
Brooke is proud of her song, but can’t let her mother see the whole performance. “Right before I do my solo, which I want her to see, I do a sybian ride which I don’t want her to see. I told her that she’s going to have close her eyes until that point and she’ll just have to guess when to open her eyes. But I lied to her and told her that I faked it so she’ll think it isn’t real anyhow. There’s no way you can have a fake orgasm on a sybian. It’s impossible. They’re good for a couple times a year, otherwise I lose feeling.”
There was a lot of other non-fake sexual moments captured by the cameras. “It’s just an amazing undertaking and it was fun,” Dennis said. “Here we are on these sets and the girls are doing their thing. During the breaks they’re having sex with each other in the corner. It was like Chorus Line in the Cathouse.”
Bunny Love swears she wasn’t part of the off stage hanky panky. “No. I’m gay for pay. So there wasn’t anyone there that I was interested in touching.”
During the sound mixing, the head of post production facility told Dennis that on the average “live concert” by singing superstars they make dozens of pitch tone corrections. “On Brooke’s songs they made three,” Dennis proudly reported. “They’re pushing her to do a pop album.”
Brooke was up to the challenge of being in a musical. “I have a degree in music,” she said. “It was exciting and then daunting that first came to my mind. It was a lot fun and a lot of work. I did the most songs. I had one day off in the three weeks they were up here filming. That was only because I said, ‘I had to have today off.’ It was tough. It was a whirlwind. When it was all done, I wish I could gone back and done it all over again.”
Was she more nervous seeing this special or the first time she partied with a Bunny Ranch guest? “I have a deep rooted background in music,” Brooke said. “I had to live up to my education and my background. This was more personal for me. I was more nervous about this. ‘Can’t I just give a blow job? Can’t I just get naked? Isn’t there someone I could have sex with?””
Brooke does seem amazed that she’s been able to pull off a career move that will set her college career advisors in a tizzy. Has anyone else been able to land an HBO musical special while working at a legal brothel?
“I’m an entertainer,” Brooke said. “I’m using all of my oral skills.”
This has been a fascinating life for her as she puts her college degree to work. “I’ve been really lucky to bring in all aspects of my life that I enjoy sex, music, meeting people and traveling,” Brooke declared. “People are telling me that I’m exploited in this job, but I’m doing great. I’m doing everything that I want to do and I’m getting everything out of life that I’m putting into it. (The Musical) is one aspect of the job that I never imagined and I’m very thankful for.”
She does wish that they could perform the show live. “We’ll let you know if we start touring. We’ll definitely come to your city,” Brooke promised.
Bunny Love wasn’t overwhelmed at the concept of the special. “I thought it was pretty amusing of an idea. I’d seen it done before on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Scrubs. I thought it was a crazy idea, but if anybody can make it work, we can.”
Her background prepared her for the experience. “It wasn’t that big of a deal for me,” Bunny Love said. “I’ve done productions with ballet and theater so the lights and the cameras didn’t effect me so much. It was just about learning my routines and steps.”
Bunny and the others still had to put in hours at the Ranch, but it didn’t wear them out. “It’s not like I was doing something for a different employer. They understood that you needed rehearsal time and can’t be on the floor for your normal shift. It was stressful and tiring, but we pulled through it.”
Will the experience lead Bunny Love to appear on Dancing with the Stars? “Lord, no,” she said.
Air Force Amy was game for performing. “You never say ‘no’ to anything around here cause you never know what it’ll develop into. I said, ‘If you want me and think you can do something with it, go ahead. I’ll be available.'”
She’s been working at the Bunny Ranch for quite a bit of time. How weird was it to realize that she was going to be singing and dancing instead of her normal duties for the show? “It’s all weird. It’s absolutely hilarious,” she said.
During our conversation, we remembered the cinematic joy that was Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. “This ain’t the first musical to come out of a brothel,” she said. Although Cathouse: The Musical should be the better of the two.
The only artistic difference that Air Force Amy had with the production came down to footwear. She discarded the shoes provided by the wardrobe mistress. ” I brought my own shoes. I’m wearing Chanel. I’m not doing a musical that’s going to DVD without wearing my Chanel.”
Air Force Amy really did serve in the military. While stationed in the Philippines, she saw Bob Hope’s USO show. It’s nice to know that troops around the globe will have a little holiday entertainment when she and other bunnies perform “I Know What Boys Want.”
I’m sadden to report that Isabella Soprano is not part of the musical. She’s still at her organic farm in New England. I was hoping to see her solo with Spinal Tap’s “Sex Farm.”
Dennis is juiced about the upcoming special. “People are going to be amazed. You expect hooker to suck and fuck and satisfy a man. You don’t expect them to be educated, articulate and talented.”
He sees this special as altering the way folks will enjoy the New Year after the Time Square ball drops.
“HBO has given us the prime slot. I’m getting hundreds of emails from people saying they’re having Cathouse parties at their homes. They want us to send them menus. I’m going to spend my whole New Year’s Eve calling various parties and saying hello to people. It used to be Dick Clark from Time Square, now it’s Big Dick Daddy from the Bunny Ranch on New Year’s Eve on HBO.”
Why would anybody want to watch a pack of whores like Carson Daly and Ryan Seacrest when there’s a chance to watch the fine ladies of the Bunny Ranch? After a year of having to endure your kids endless viewing of High School Musical and High School Musical 2, it’s time to put them to bed, pop the second bottle of champagne and remember that New Year’s Eve is an adult holiday.
HOW TO HAVE A FUNDRAISER
Dennis Hof has been amazed at all the coverage he’s received for his endorsement of Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul. Dennis has helped Paul get nearly as much press as Oprah’s done for Obama. “Every newspaper in New York City wrote about it,” Dennis said. Until the Iowa Caucus, if you drop by the Bunny Ranch and declare, “I’m pimping for Ron Paul,” you get the services of two women for the price of one.
Brooke Taylor doesn’t mind the campaign fundraiser. “I love it. I’ve never had so much help giving blowjobs. I get to pull one of my friends in to help me out. It’s great.
“There’s nothing I like better than a man and a woman together with me in the middle. You get the best of both worlds. Everyone has something to do. Everyone always has a mouthful. Couples are a big part of my business. It’s so great to be able spice up their sex life. There’s nothing better than the next time I masturbate thinking about the great sex they’re having after having been with me. I know they are talking about it and fantasizing about the next visit. I love that.”
This is much better than paying $2,000 to eat a rubber chicken and get a Polaroid with the candidate.
STRIKE RELIEF
Damn this Writer’s Strike. I’m sick of what’s being offered on network TV. Why are the rules of ABC’s Duel more difficult than the questions? Enough of the broadcast, it’s time to dip back into the latest DVDs of older shows in order to be entertained.
The Tudors – The Complete First Season contains combines the educational influence of The History Channel with the adult entertainment value of classic Showtime. The Tudors could have turned into Henry VIII Babies, but the series played smart. Natalie Dormer’s performance of Anne Boleyn reminds us how a King could start his own church. While Jonathan Rhys Meyers is great as the young English monarch, you want to see him break into an Elvis snarl that he rocked in the miniseries Elvis.
Gunsmoke, The Second Season, Volume 1 gives up the first 20 episodes of the sophomore outing. While this is still Chester-era, Festus appears in “Brush at Elkader.” Sheriff Matt Dillon still enjoys mingling with the hookers at Miss Kitty’s bar. The bonus on the collection is the sponsor spots for L&M Cigarettes. James Arness made smoking look so sexy when he took a drag and said, “Light up, Free up. Live Modern.” Is there a sense of irony in that ad campaign? Best one is him and Miss Kitty sharing a light.
The Odd Couple: The Third Season contains the roommates visits to the set of Password and The Price Is Right. Nothing says great ’70s TV moment than Jack Klugman rubbing elbows with Monty Hall. Although some may want to view the show to check out Tony Randall’s amazing fashion sense. That man know how to look suave. No wonder he was the neat freak.
Hawaii Five-O: The Third Season brings more criminals to the 50th State for Steve McGarrett to book. The series kicks off with Wo Fat terrorizing a neurosurgeon with “And A Time to Die.” “The Double Wall” brings Boss Hogg (Sorrell Booke) to the island. How do criminals not surrender when they encounter Jack Lord’s defiant hair? The show was still clicking at a high level for season three.
BAD SANTA
NBC sunk to a new low with its Yule Time edition of To Catch A Predator. The show started of innocent enough with a little girl discovering Santa Claus in front of her Christmas tree.
“You made it!” she exclaims.
Santa gives a jolly laugh and puts down his sack. “You want to give Santa a hug?”
The girl smiles. “Wait a minute. I need to get your cookies and milk!” The girl disappears into the kitchen.
“Don’t wake up your parents,” Santa warns. “Or you won’t get a pony.”
From behind the refrigerator steps Chris Hansen.
“Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be showing up in the middle of the night to see 10 year old girls?” Chris asks. Santa looks pretty damn startled that the girl is gone.
“It’s my job,” Santa says. “I bring gifts to all the good little boys and girls on Christmas Eve.”
“Gifts? What do you expect to be given for your gifts?”
“They have to be nice.”
“What does it take for a naughty girl to get on your nice list?”
?”What are you insinuating?’
Hansen waves a pile of papers. “I have your emails. If she’s a nice girl; you promise to come down her chimney. You like coming down the chimneys of little girls and boys while they sleep? Is that how you get your kicks?”
“That’s not what it means!” Santa waves his finger at Chris. “You’re not getting a pony this year.”
Santa races towards the fireplaces. The cops pounce on his ass. He’s hauled away. The SPCA takes control of the reindeer on the roof. It’s just sad how NBC stoops.
THE GAME CONTINUES
This is that unique time of the season when movie critics attempt to blow their favorite directors while attempting to impress us with their huge balls. Do we really care what the Boise Radio Reviewers ordain a film as the greatest of the year?
What we also get is flooded with diatribes about how TV is ruining movies. I’ve had it with these Cinema Bigots. For some reason anything that’s not projected at a multiplex for $12 a head is inferior entertainment. As if 24 frames per second is superior to 30 frames per second. This of course is complete crap. Is Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector funnier than an episode of Hogan’s Heroes? Are any of the Mission: Impossible movies better than the series? Is there any American cinematic drama of the past decade equal to HBO’s The Wire?
The good news about the writer’s strike is that The Wire might finally get decent ratings for its fifth season that starts January 6 at 9 p.m. (eastern time). This year the focus will be on how the media plays a role in the urban warfare in Baltimore. You might want to get caught up either by DVD or reruns on BET. I recommend the DVDs since BET has to take out the hardcore gangster action.
ROCKIN’ W/ LEONARD
Congratulations go out to Leonard Cohen for making the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame. This has to be the upset victory of 2007 when he bumped the Beastie Boys from the glory of Cleveland. How did the Mystic of Montreal pull it off? His voice has the range of Mack Truck engine. He sings about spacey ladies who like tea and oranges that come all the way from China. By the way, both the tea and oranges have been recalled. Is he rock? Leonard isn’t a complete folkie. He recorded “Don’t Go Home With Your Hard-On” with Phil Spector diddling the knobs. “First We Take Manhattan” has a classy rage.
It’s strange to think that Leonard Cohen got into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame before Steve Miller. Isn’t Rock n Roll all about the Space Cowboy and the Gangster of Love? I only hope Leonard is inducted by 50 Cent – since they’re both pimps.
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December 28th, 2007 at 2:34 am
[…] Quick Stop Entertainment wrote an interesting post today on Party Favors: Bunny WranglingHere’s a quick excerpt VIRGINIA CITY, NV – Why start off the New Year by staring at the skeletal remains of The Crypt Keeper and his son (Dick Clark & Carson Daly) or the skanky duo of Ryan Seacrest and Tila Tequila? HBO is giving you a sexy reason to drop your ball at 12:05 a.m. with Cathouse: The Musical. Dennis Hof has allowed America a peak behind curtain of his Moonlite Bunny Ranch to see how a legal brothel runs. This year he’s raising the curtain and putting on a show worthy of a Mickey Rooney-Judy Garl […]