Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Troubled actor Tom Sizemore has been sentenced to 16 months in jail for violating his probation on a prior drug arrest.  Sizemore, best known for his roles in Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down, was arrested again last month on suspicion of possessing meth.  It is expected that while Sizemore is in jail, he will continue to act in such films as Dropping the Soap: Holing the New Guy and Tom Sizemore Becomes a Prison Bitch.

• Singer Christina Aguilera is ready to make her film debut. According to the singer, she is actively reviewing scripts to find the right fit for her. Those closest to her reveal that she is looking for a totally unique script where a woman finds herself through either a road trip with her girlfriends or friends who encourage her to follow her dreams of singing.

• It has been announced that Germany has banned the filming of the new movie Valkyrie because of the Scientology beliefs of the film’s star, Tom Cruise.  In a statement released to the press by the German Defense Ministry, officials have said that no filming will take place in Germany as long as Cruise is attached to star.  We here at QSE News applaud Germany for taking a stand against Mr. Cruise but warn them that Lord Xenu sees all and he will totally [EXPLETIVE DELETED] up your country. If you guys thought 1945 was bad… What? Too soon?

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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