Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Halliburton and Michael Jackson apparently aren’t the only things interested in moving to Dubai. According to Marvel Entertainment, Inc, a new theme park will be built in Dubai featuring many of Marvel’s most popular heroes. The theme park is scheduled to open in 2011 and will be bombed in 2012.

• Angelina Jolie is set to star in the comic-adaptation Wanted. Wanted is the story of a man who attempts to take his father’s place as the World’s greatest hitman. Jolie will play an assassin who helps the main character blossom into a cold hearted killer. Jolie is said to be practicing for her role by traveling to foreign countries, murdering innocent people and taking their children.

• And in continued Jolie news, protesters are demanding that graphic new ads for the movie Captivity, starring former 24-hot box, Elisha Cuthbert, be pulled from L.A. billboards and N.Y. taxi cab placards.  The protests are being led by Jolie, who emphatically states that “the advertisements represent a factual representation of her recent adoption activities.”

• The three or four remaining fans of Britney Spears will be glad to hear that Spears will be ending her stint in rehab this week after having a “major breakthrough.”  Unfortunately, we here at QSE feel that we would not be a responsible news organization if we failed to report that her only “breakthrough” has been stubble “breaking through” the skin of her head and pubic region.  Just thought you should know.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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