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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Michael Jackson is being sued on claims that his interference was the cause of a woman’s death. The family of the woman claims the hospital moved the gravely ill patient to another part of the hospital because Jackson was admitted and needed the room – thereby contributing to her passing. We at QSE offer our condolences to the family of the woman but at the same time ask what she was doing staying in the children’s ward of the hospital.
  • It’s reported that Britney Spears has left a rehab clinic after just 24 hours at the facility. Friends and family are surprised by Spears’s self-checkout from the clinic, stating that she “usually commits to something for the long term and never just gives up on stuff.”
  • It’s safe to say that Paul McCartney will not be watching the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. Representatives for ABC announced the lineup of stars for the new season and included on the list is McCartney’s money-grubbing ex, Heather Mills. While nothing is official, insiders say that Mills will concentrate on Hip Hop dancing and has even selected the song “One Leg Up” by rapper Half Pint as her first dance number.
  • David Lee Roth will not be reuniting with the Van Halen family after all. According to tour promoters, the reunion tour will not be happening. When asked for comment Eddie Van Halen said “Man, I… damn. I was just… it’s just there was… not on Thursday man. I’m tellin’ you… [EXPLETIVE DELETED] coke man… so that’s where we’re at. I wanted… yeah… [EXPLETIVE DELETED] Roth can’t… man!”
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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