Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Iron Maiden is set to become the first metal band to ever play in India with an upcoming show at the Bangalore’s Palace. This event confirms that India does not realize that it’s not 1986 anymore.

• The Wachowski Brothers are set to start filming their live action adaptation of Speed Racer.  Details of the plot have not been released yet, but insiders say the brothers are really looking forward to the big rave/orgy scene involving Speed, Trixie, Racer X and Chim Chim the monkey.

• The record label Kill Rock Stars has announced that they will be releasing a double CD of unreleased tracks from the late singer/songwriter Elliot Smith.  Arguably one of America’s best song writers, Smith died in October of 2003 of an apparent suicide.  Executives from Kill Rock Stars are excited about the release saying “this album is so good, it’ll make you want to stab yourself in the heart.”

• It’s being reported that writer/director Kevin Smith will be directing the pilot for a new CW show called Reaper. [* Editors note: the following has been edited by the QSE News Team for content and accuracy*] A spokesman for the network has been quoted as saying “Kevin Smith? We hired Kevin [best-director-ever] Smith? Smith is [totally great] and is best known for [enlightening our otherwise drab world].  I [love] Kevin and would rather kill myself than [not] watch another one of his [magnificent] films.”

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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