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Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends! We’re so glad you could attend… come inside, come inside! This week at Music for the Masses, I’m offering up a brand-spanking new podcast with the help of my “good friends” J. Allen from QSE News and M4M’s (as the “cool” kids like to call it!) own Double A. This week’s discussion focuses on, in no particular order, the latest “big band” reunion news, The Good, The Bad and The Queen, a “Cat Empire” and the various “things we wish the Teletubbies could do.” Oh yeah, and for those of you with “short bus” (read: slow) internet connections, we offer up a new installment of J.D.’s Reverb for your reading pleasure. Sound like fun? How’s about we find out?

m4m-tele

I can’t quite put my finger on it… but something about those damn Teletubbies just makes me horny.

[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast is firmly grounded in “bad taste” and contains foul language, foolish notions regarding bass playing and the inexplicable butchering of some artist’s names. As a result of this, QuickStop offers up sincere apologies to the families of Gary Cherone, Paul Simonen and Cat Power… forgive them… they know not what they do…

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Music For The Masses: Episode 3 (MP3 format) – 24.13 MB

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REVERB… WITH J.D.

Back in 1984, the #1 song of the year according to Billboard magazine was Prince’s “When Doves Cry”. The 90th ranked song that same year was “The Longest Time” by Billy Joel. I bring this up, of course, because these were the two artists featured at this year’s Super Bowl game. Many jokes have been made regarding the relevancy of the entertainment, but consider for a moment that a) the previous two Super Bowls featured Paul McCartney and The Rolling Stones, so at least we’re 20 years closer and b) the last time the NFL opted for relevancy we got Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake… and we all know how that turned out.

Anyway, I couldn’t wait to see Mr Joel’s rendition of the National Anthem…I mean, who at the NFL thought it would be a good idea to trot out someone recently out of rehab (second stint, I might add) to sing a hard song in front of one billion people? This had all the trappings of an historic crack-up—indeed, Adam Schefter of the NFL Network reported that Joel was puffing nervously on a cigarette right before he went on (smoking, of course, being Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12-Step Program).

Luckily, though, ol’ Billy pulled it off just fine. Watching him sing, I was reminded that, in the 80’s, he also pulled off one of the all time ‘going way, WAY out of your league’ feats by marrying Christie Brinkley. Some of you youngsters may not know who Christie Brinkley is, but do the words “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover Girl” mean anything to you?

m4m-christie

Please rise and, umm, remove your pants…

In today’s terms, Billy Joel marrying Christie Brinkley is like Pete Doherty dating Kate Moss (and by “dating” I mean “wooing with blow”)…excepting of course that Doherty’s main skill is not music but you know, not od’ing….yet. Anyways, they’re both a couple of homely homeys who took down Supermodel Grade Betties.

m4m-ugly

Billy Joel in 1984: The most inspirational 5′5″ guy this side of Rocky Balboa

Three more notes on the National Anthem: One, did you know that the gambling website bodog.com was taking prop bets on how long it would take Joel to sing it? They put the over/under at 1:44. Now if you’re Joel, and you’ve practiced this thing 1000 times, aren’t you telling all of your buddies to bet the under?? (He came in at 1:36).

Two: I have no idea how they do it, but seeing those F16 flyovers hit right after ‘the home….of the….braaaaaaave’ is ALWAYS a goosebump moment.

And three, don’t you just love Marlee Matalin’s voice?

As far as the Prince halftime show goes, I’ve come across a fair number of dumb asses in the blogosphere either a) claiming that Prince hasn’t done anything good in years or b) bitching about his babooshka (say that five times fast).

Regarding point a, Prince has actually released two excellent albums in the past three years….and both Musicology and 3121 were nominated for a slew of Grammys (not that Grammys equal cool, not at all. But you know…). And as for point b, I think it’s fair to say that Prince long ago established that he is one of the two men on earth (along with Lenny Kravitz) who can wear whatever the f**k he wants and still be Boss….including a babooshka.

(So all of u Prince haters out there should keep yr comments 2 yrself & instead sit back & appreciate the Rave Un2 the Joy Fantastic. Or whatever.)

While Prince’s performance was typically fantastic, I was scratching my head a bit at his choice to include three cover songs (”Proud Mary”, “All Along the Watchtower”, “Best of You”) in his little medley. But then again, as my buddy Tony likes to say, sooner or later every band is going to cover Dave Matthew’s “All Along the Watchtower”…(I love that joke).

However, it was nice to see Prince opt to flex his ridiculously sick guitar chops on most of the songs—strange as it seems, guitar skills are way down on the list of what you think of when it comes to Prince, but he’s among the best. And him singing ‘Purple Rain’ in the downpour that day? By far the best Super Bowl musical moment to date.

And finally, did you know that Prince is in need of hip replacement surgery? Seems that years of performing in 4-inch heels have done a number on him. So in retrospect, I’m sure it was a relief to everyone at CBS and the NFL that the little guy didn’t slip and blow out his hip on the rain-slickened stage that day. Just as I’m sure those same folks breathed a sigh of relief that Prince refrained from making any sexual innuendos whatsoever during his performance.

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Hey, wait a second…

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UPCOMING MUSIC RELEASES… 2/13/2007…

ARITST TITLE GENRE
SOUL KID #1 Americanized ALT
OLSON, MICHAEL Where Fear and Faith N/A
PO’ GIRL Home To You N/A
CELLSKI Mr. Predicter Chapter 2 RAP
DA’UNDA’DOGG PRESENTS Da’Unda’Dogg Presents “Bay Boyz” RAP
G-DEP Bad Boy RAP
KEAK DA SNEAK On One RAP
SOUTH CENTRAL CARTEL Westurrection RAP
LUCINDA WILLIAMS West ROCK
NOTHINGTON All In ROCK
THE SOFTLIGHTES Say No To Being Cool - Say Yes To Being Happy [En. CD] ROCK
AMY STOLZENBACH On and On POP
ANTON BARBEAU In The Village Of The Apple Sun POP
BETH WATERS This Little Piggy POP
BLUETONES, The The Bluetones POP
DR. JOHN In The Night - Early Sessions Of Dr. John POP
HAGEN, NINA Fearless POP
ICEAGE COBRA Brilliant Ideas From Amazing People POP
JADE, FAINE Introspection - A Faine Jade Recital POP
REID, TERRY River POP
SEAFOOD Paper Crown King POP
SOPHE LUX Waking The Mystics POP
THE VISITORS The Visitors POP
WEBBE, SIMON Grace POP
WONDERFUL BROKEN THING Looking For Mike Lookinland POP

Thanks for tuning in! Until next time, keep wearing it proud and playing it loud!

Send the proper pronunciation of artist names, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

m4m-queen

If I had a Cat Empire, this would be my queen…

m4m-jester

This would be my jester…

m4m-royal

And this… the Royal Guard… only he’d have corrective lenses… for those fucking “Budweiser Lizard eyes” of his…

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

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