Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• In a case of trying to make a quick buck, Keifer Bonvillain has tried to extort 1.5 million dollars from Oprah Winfrey.  Bonvillain reportedly has a taped telephone conversation that would “damage” Winfrey’s reputation. Oprah responded to Bonvillain by sending a message to her viewers that said “Execute Order 66.”

• File this one in the Ripley’s “Believe It Or Not” file.  Surprisingly, a young, Mormon boy in Utah opened up a brand new, factory-sealed version of Madden ’07 for the Playstation and found a hard-core porno disc.  Although we here at QSE News have no definitive proof as to just how the porno disc was forcefully inserted into the quivering and unwilling Madden packaging, we do know this – someone should inform the boy and his parents that lies make baby Jesus cry.

• George Clooney is reportedly close to a deal that would have him star alongside Robert De Niro in an upcoming film named 36. The film is a remake of a French film in which several French men sit around and mock every other country while smoking cigarettes and accomplishing nothing in their own lives.

• The film Pan’s Labyrinth has won best movie of the year from the National Society of Film Critics.  In a surprising twist, the film won the award despite the fact that many of the voters had actually seen Shark Boy and Lava Girl.

• Snoop Dogg and his youth football association are being sued by a TV production company. According to the lawsuit, Dogg promised the production company the rights to produce a reality TV show about the football team but reneged and sold the rights to Fox. Dogg responded to the lawsuit by getting really, really high.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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