Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Festival organizers have announced the official lineup for 2007’s Sundance Film Festival. Festival goers will be able to enjoy such films as Untitled Dakota Fanning Project and Four Sheets to the Wind, as well as the new picture from Harry Bawls, Anal Queens 26: In Through the Out Door.

• Author Iain Hollingshead has won this years prestigious “Bad Sex in Fiction” award. Hollingshead said he was planning on celebrating the award by going home and taking his wife to “a pleasure land known only to those that have experienced the wonders of putting a giant, throbbing rod inside a warm, cozy, moist cavern.”

• The Eagles of Death Metal have officially responded, live, on camera, about what happened on their ill fated Guns ‘N Roses tour. We here at QSE don’t believe this for a second. If there is one completely sane person on this planet, it’s Axl Rose. We stand with you Axl.

• Loveable small-person Danny DeVito showed up on The View drunk last week. When asked to comment on the appearance, co-host Rosie O’Donnell said she would still eat him.

• And finally today, Lindsay Lohan is said to have been attending Alcoholic Anonymous meetings. Lohan reportedly begun attending the AA meeting because she figured it would be a good way for her to get alcohol, anonymously.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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