Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.
I do realize that the there will always be big, bloated movies that will always haunt my local cineplex.
After seeing the haul that BEOWULF, the movie where this is the penultimate example of a book being better than the film based on it, took last week it was hard not to believe that there is nothing that Hollywood can’t turn into a bona fide hit at the box office.
The problem, though, is that its second week drop of over 40%, its cumulative total around 56 million at this point, means that it has a long road to hoe to get it into the black beyond its predicted budget of around 150 million. Yes, you’ve got those IMAX screenings and all those other kitschy 3-D offerings, to say nothing of international box office, DVD, blah, blah, blah but it doesn’t take away from the obvious point that there is a steep climb ahead for this investment to pay off. I can’t say I’m surprised by the drop when you see that this is Zemeckis second dip into the well of “motion capture” (he gets a little testy when you mention the words animation for reasons I can’t understand) and it has the same bizarre look that THE POLAR EXPRESS had when you compare the two; the same vacant look in the characters’ eyes, the less than fluid movement of the people in the frame and the people’s mouth movements border on dubbed kung-fu imports all contribute as to why this is movie that is good but not earth shattering as some would have you believe.
The point here isn’t to point a finger at a movie that did solid box office but when you hear about the comparisons of other movies of its kind, the one I heard a few times being A SCANNER DARKLY, there is something I hope to try and figure out about what the difference is between movies of this variety.
I know that what DARKLY did was use rotoscoping, digitally capturing the movements beforehand and then doing everything else in post, its Wikipedia entry even mentioning the word “animate” (Gasp!), but the one glaring difference I didn’t know before investigating these productions was that DARKLY cost around 6 to 8 million to produce compared to the 150 million that BEOWULF took to get it to the big screen.
Now, these are apple and orange comparisons although I think Variety would like to have a few words about what constitutes animation. However, and I would posit, if you’re talking about the budgets of movies of similar films and want to have a discussion of economies of scale what on earth was Zemeckis doing that would explain the gap in this creative endeavor? THE POLAR EXPRESS was an OK movie, it wasn’t superb, but with a production budget that went upwards of about 170 million wouldn’t it be safe to assume that there have been more than 20 million dollars of savings that could have been made to BEOWULF to try and get this number down but, even excluding that, there is something about the process of marketing this film that couldn’t bring people to the trough. True, it was number one last week and I am sure there are people who still believe that the opening weekend is the end-all-be-all benchmark but in an age of strikes and shareholders who are demanding more value from their corporate overlords there is just the sense I have about the What If’s that come along with thinking about how many variations of how many different stories could have been had for the same amount of money.
SCANNER DARKLY didn’t blow the air up anyone’s skirts, yes, but when you talk to those filmmakers who have the penny pincher mentality of being able to make more with less there is something inherently timely about the argument for films that bloat to this size and have nothing more to show for it than a few choice pull quotes and the promise that the 32% drop POLAR experienced in the second week (its third release saw a surge in positive gains, it was Thanksgiving weekend) will most likely ensure a downward trend from here on out. That is, unless, Zemeckis animates a Santa cap on old Ray Winstone…which I don’t think is likely to happen.
It would be nice if people could learn from past experiences but it looks like the more things change, there are those who want to keep it the same. But it’s not Zemeckis’ fault, either, if any of you think I’m pointing a finger. Again, this is the movie…business. He was slick and smart enough to convince someone to pour money into this movie and if there are any kudos he deserves it is for having a great business acumen, convincing those with a checkbook that this was going to be a lock.
Now, if anyone out there wants to listen to me I have a brilliant idea of converting some works of Proust into an animated (I have no problems with the word) adventure filled with violence, guns and butt secks. Who cares if this strays from the text, it certainly didn’t stop Bob.
From the I Love Boobs file: A special thanks has to go out to MAS for their help in getting some of these interviews up on the site. Lord knows I need it and their donations of time and effort is always appreciated.
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Director: Matt Reeves
Cast: Mike Vogel, Michael Stahl-David
Release: January 18, 2008
Synopsis: Secrecy surrounds this monster movie from producer J.J. Abrams (LOST). A mysterious creature attacks New York City, sending the metropolis into chaos.
View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. Nope, I just don’t see what the fuss is about, this modern day BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. The hype doesn’t equate to anything I can see in this trailer.
Usually, pre-movie release hype centers around a script or a director or even controversy that revolves around a movie’s production yet here, when all anyone had to go off of was a blurry picture of the poster for the film and the doubt whether the flick was going to be called MONSTROUS or the now titled CLOVERFIELD. I am constantly amazed by how much ink some people are willing to spill on nothing more than some clever marketing.
As it stands, this looks like a mesh between GODZILLA and any number of fauxmentaries, the quite unbelievable drama has the sheen of a YouTube lonelygirl15 stench on it, that pass as entertainment. Simply put, if you’re going to lie to me at least grant me the chance to make it feel like you’re not blatantly trying to suspend my disbelief.
For starters, the card that reads that there was a “found camera” that captured everything we’re about to see is just a modern hack tool that would’ve been novel a decade ago; thanks for trying, though, as this just starts me thinking like everything from this point has been purposely rigged to make it feel real. Thanks for spoiling my interest.
The perfectly framed shot of the Statue of Liberty’s head bouncing down the street, I will admit, is pretty keen but the “Oh my God!”s just make me laugh more than anything else because”¦it is all false even in the movie magic sense.
Hey, a perfectly lit video message for anyone who might stumble upon his camcorder later! What a nice companion piece to go with all this other really good video footage of this attack on New York.
“Whatever it is…it’s winning”
From here, I take it, we’re supposed to be assaulted with disjointed shakey-cam footage to increase the tension of what we’re seeing but because we’re already aware, or should be aware, that this is a mix of what we’re supposed to believe is real it just feels needlessly hysterical and over the top. The pixilation of the American soldier’s face is a goofy ass accent that shouldn’t have been done because what comes out of his mouth only does a disservice to the film’s chance of eliciting genuine “oohs” rather than laughing at what they’re doing.
See, what I hope is being understood is that this movie could be very interesting. The dozen or so troops opening fire in a walking line towards the unseen beast that is attacking New York, should I even mention what happened to GODZILLA when its marketing did all it could to not show you the lizard, is a cool shot. That part is actually interesting but the extended scene of these goofballs screaming their heads off in an obvious soundstage that looks like a quickie mart just takes back any goodwill I’m giving it.
Same thing goes for the helicopter shot; it’s intense as fuck but when you have the lead actor saying this is a record so people know what happened I can’t help but think that when I try to record anything so people can know what happened at a birthday or a holiday event my camcorder usually craps out after an hour. Unless this guy is weighed down with a Chewbacca like battery belt any explanation of how he can get all this done will just feel well”¦false.
Director: Michel Gondry
Cast: Mos Def, Jack Black, Danny Glover
Release: January 25th, 2008
Synopsis: Jerry (Jack Black) is a junkyard worker who attempts to sabotage a power plant he suspects of causing his headaches. But he inadvertently causes his brain to become magnetized, leading to the unintentional destruction of all the movies in his friend’s (Mos Def) store. In order to keep the store’s one loyal customer, an elderly lady with a tenuous grasp on reality, the pair re-create a long line of films including The Lion King, Rush Hour, Ghostbusters, When We Were Kings, Back to the Future, Driving Miss Daisy, and Robocop , putting themselves and their townspeople into it. They become the biggest stars in their neighborhood.
View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. Sometimes it just pays to be ignorant.
It wasn’t until I was through the mid point of this trailer when I realized it was Michel Gondry who directed this film. I hadn’t ever heard of the film, I didn’t keep up with the production of the film and it wasn’t until later in the trailer when I read Michel’s name did I put it all together.
It didn’t take away from the oddness that is his style and, in fact, I was perplexed by what this movie was supposed to be about up until that point.
I was mesmerized by the premise, mostly. The trailer opens up, innocuously enough, with people coming in to a video store asking about their seemingly erased tapes. I thought it was a unique way to introduce a movie with its insistence on having an extended moment where you have what is a bit of strangeness from the perspective of trying to determine where we are and what time it is. Gondry has a way of pushing that 4th wall ever so slightly and he gets kudos from me for the small, yet effective, visual trick of bending the screen with static.
Where this trailer eventually goes, with the GHOSTBUSTERS soundtrack beneath it, is a wondrous take-off as Jack Black for once throttles it back a smidge and actually engages me as a viewer. The lo-fi reenactment of the actual GHOSTBUSTERS film, in an effort to somehow salvage his VHS video operation, is equally catchy. I would have no idea that Mos Def had it in him to play such a straight man but that’s the brilliance of Gondry, to take conventional actors and mold them into something more than what we’re used to.
The second half of the trailer is equally strange but it’s engaging. The recreation of modern films could seem like a one trick gimmick but there’s something more at play if you’re paying hard enough attention.
There is a sense that this is a film built on how other films can filter their way through reinterpretation. It’s the modern equivalent of a modern cover song; you have what was there before and, if you’re honest and faithful to the source material, there could be something that wasn’t immediately there before you heard it. There’s something new and fresh about the perspective it has and the trailer here expresses some of that between-the-lines love for film. I’m not quite sure the remake of DRIVING MISS DAISY does a lot for my confidence in the success of the film, it gets too “Jack Black-y” for my taste, but hopefully it’s just one moment in a slew of other films they recreate.
Some of what could immediately be taken for a gimmick surely could be there within the final cut. But, what’s clear by the end of this trailer is that if there is a fair amount of thoughtfulness put into the idea then there could be another reason to just enjoy what Gondry does best.
If I have any issue at all with this trailer it is that I’m just not sure if this is a movie I feel I need to see immediately; my final impression is tinged with the idea that you have these schlubs who have a old and busted video store, create mini movies to stay alive, Jack Black does his shtick, Mos Def looks like the weigh holding everything down and they all rise to prominence within the community.
I think the biggest sum of all these parts is: so what? There’s nothing compelling about this trailer and that’s the most disappointing part about this preview.
Director(s): Chris Weitz, Bob Shaye
Cast: Nicole Kidman, Dakota Blue Richards, Sam Elliott, Eva Green, Daniel Craig
Release: December 7th, 2007
Synopsis: Based on author Philip Pullman’s bestselling and award-winning novel, The Golden Compass tells the first story in Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. The Golden Compass is an exciting fantasy adventure, set in an alternative world where people’s souls manifest themselves as animals, talking bears fight wars, and Gyptians and witches co-exist.
View Trailer:
* Large (YouTube)
Prognosis: Positive. This could possibly be the best return to greatness I have ever seen for a trailer.
Based on this shitageous trailer for the film eons ago when it did nothing for me and only served to aggravate my sense that this was going to be nothing more than a lighter version of the CHRONICLES OF NARNIA and that I should just find another indie to indulge myself in because of the bloated nature of this awful looking film, this trailer came out and has changed my attitude 100%.
Just because it’s going to be an epic it doesn’t mean you have to market it as so.
Someone got this through their fat skull and realized that trailers were meant to lie to people and, even if your film is six and a half hours you have two minutes and twenty nine seconds to sex it up a bit. The first trailer, which you can see any number of places, is OK. It’s nothing great; it certainly didn’t excite me enough to even talk about. The reason why it lacks in ways too numerous to list is exactly because there are too many things to list. The trailer challenges you to keep a running tab on all the things that are going on.
Now, I don’t purport to be an expert on the source material. I know a lot of geeks and nerds get their wide panties in a bunch when adaptations stray from the literary text from which they originated. What these dweebs don’t realize is that it is called the movie business for a reason. There are just some elements that have to go by the wayside and some that have to be included. THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy excelled simply because of its faithful adaptation, and the company behind the franchise is smart, wickedly smart, for stamping that message within seconds of this television spot. This does a few things but it does one thing in particular that’s important to keep in mind: establishes credibility.
Once it does this it is the reeling in of all the sleepy elements that made the first trailer so unwieldy. You had so much territory to cover, so much of it went to making it seem like they were saying “Look how careful we’re being with this story too!” when it did nothing for illiterate wags like me who could not have cared less about the source material but needed a brain dead reason to spend the money to see the movie. I wasn’t given it with the theatrical trailer but I’ll be damned if the 33 seconds this spot spans doesn’t make me yearn with abject glee.
The way it works so well, then, is after its explanation that this company did the deed with the RINGS trilogy and will do it again with this one we’re launched into a screamingly fast rock track that gets right to the quick.
It’s my base need to be thrilled and excited that genuinely pays off. You’ve got some babushka bobbing bearded dudes with long swords ready to slice and dice, you’ve got Nicole Kidman doing what she really can only do well, look hot and not saying much, toss in some polar bears that are losing their shit right in the middle of a square (who cares about the reasons why this is even happening), toss in a brunette who is doing some of her own battling in the middle of a dark wasteland, also looking hot and not saying anything, get excited by some animals going to town on one another as they try and kill one another and top it off with Daniel Craig dueling it out with the butt of a rifle.
I am happy I am an illiterate slob with regard to knowing what’s happening here because I have no clue how this all fits together. I am sure the book is a wonderful piece of literature that kids everywhere appreciated with regard to pointing fingers at organized religion.
I also have no reason why I am especially giddy by a polar bear swatting some canine but if this is an allegory of what people are feeling about predatory, pedophile priests then I am so in.
This is, head and shoulders, the exact M.O. that should be employed when trying to sell another epic to a public that has been sold on multiple variants of the RINGS trilogy ever since it was shown that it can be successful; there needs to be a reason to go and spend the money.
