FRED Entertainment

October 5, 2007

Scrubs Blog: A Guided Tour – Part 4

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:33 am

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VIDEO BLOG #91: “A Guided Tour – Part 4″ ““
The next installment of the Scrubs set tour, with special tour guides Production Manager Richard Wells, Ken Jenkins, and Neil Flynn.

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Download Scrubs Video Blog #91:

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Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 49.77 MB)
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Weekend Shopping Guide 10/05/07: To Boldly Buy

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:04 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

If you’ve been holding off on buying the long-available seasonal box sets of Star Trek: The Next Generation because the price tag scared you off, now’s the time to get the entire 7-season run at a perfectly reasonable price courtesy of the new 49-disc complete series set (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$455.95 SRP). The first 48 discs are the seasons themselves, and are identical to the previously released sets, including their bonus features (basically a hefty complement of featurettes pertaining to each season). What’s new and exclusive is the 49th disc, which contains 11 behind-the-scenes and 20th anniversary retrospective featurettes. Eight of the featurettes were previously released on a quartet of Best Buy exclusive discs, while the remaining 3 are newly-produced. All in all, now’s the time to snap this up, and begin counting the days until the DS9 set.

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You can keep your blood and gore – give me an old-fashioned frightfest like 1408 (Genius, Rated PG-13, DVD-$32.95 SRP). Based on a story by Stephen King, it’s a psychological tour-de-force for John Cusack, as a cynical writer of haunted house travelogues that is faced with what seems to be the real prospect in the form of Room 1408 in Manhattan’s Dolphin Hotel – despite the warnings of the hotel’s manager (Samuel L. Jackson). It’s a shame it didn’t do better at the box office – hopefully, it’ll get the attention it deserves on home video. The 2-disc deluxe edition features an alternate cut of the film with a different ending, an audio commentary on the extended cut, deleted scenes, a trio of featurettes, and the theatrical trailer.

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At first, I was leery about The Sarah Silverman Program (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP). At times – although I could always see the humor in the writing – I’ve found Silverman to be caustic in her delivery. I wondered how a sitcom built around her would play. Well, my fears were unfounded, since the show turned out to be a giddy mix of the bizarre, the cynical, the surreal, the sarcastic, and the very, very funny. Bonus features include audio commentaries, songs, and a karaoke feature. Sadly, no gag reel.

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One of the last Disney classics to make it out of the DVD gate with a deluxe special edition (after a limited release as one of Disney’s first discs), Walt’s last personally supervised film finally gets its time in the sun. Besides a snazzy restoration, the 2-disc edition of The Jungle Book (Walt Disney, Rated G, DVD-$29.99 SRP) features deleted songs, a pair of making-of featurettes, a look at the deleted character Rocky The Rhino, and more.

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As a kid, one of my favorite nighttime reads was There’s a Monster At The End of This Book (Random House, $8.99 SRP), starring Sesame Street‘s own loveable monster, Grover. The book has recently been re-released, just in time for me to give it as a gift to my nephew. I think I’ll also be picking him up the pop-up version, Please Do Not Open This Book (Random House, $8.99 SRP), that’s recently been created from the original text and art.

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One of the exclusive club of internet fan saves, the first season of Jericho (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP) comes to DVD in time for on-the-fence viewers to discover the unique tale of a small town thrown into chaos after a string of nuclear detonations around the country fragments the United States into opposing factions vying for power. That’s the short of it, but trust me – check it out for yourself. The 6-disc set features all 22 episodes. Plus commentaries, featurettes, and deleted scenes.

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Encompassing all of the various versions of the film – from the truncated 90-minute cut to the extended hardcore bacchanalia –the 3-disc Caligula: The Imperial Edition (Image, Not Rated, DVD-$39.99 SRP) is the definitive edition of this notorious cinematic classic, featuring an unbelievable cast, including Peter O’Toole, Malcolm McDowell, Helen Mirren, John Gielgud, and more. The Imperial edition is also loaded with bonus features, including audio commentaries, interviews, documentaries, featurettes, and more.

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Though not a favorite of mine – I’ve often felt it was overproduced and largely miscast (Keanu) – there are plenty of fans out there of Francis Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Sony, Rated R, DVD-$24.96 SRP). Regardless of my feelings for the film, Coppola is always a fascinating filmmaker, and the new 2-disc edition of the film offers a peek into his creative process, with an introduction, an audio commentary, making of and behind-the-scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, and more.

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If you’re still in withdrawal about Mandy Patinkin’s bizarre, abrupt between season departure, then remember the good ol’ days with the complete second season of Criminal Minds (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$64.99 SRP). The 6-disc box set contains all 23 episodes, plus deleted scenes, a quartet of featurettes, and a gag reel.

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Put a little bit o’ soul in your weekend with the 3-disc Ike & Tina Turner Story: 1960-1975 (Time Life, $39.99 SRP) – the first career retrospective of the hard-driving duo and their revue.

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After a half-dozen epics and a relatively unchanging style, I think I’m finally growing weary of the “Ken Burns” style of documentary. It hit home while watching his 7-part focus on WWII, The War (PBS, Not Rated, DVD-$129.99 SRP). It’s well-researched and there are certainly plenty of nuggets, but the folksy approach to presenting the tale via the people of four different US communities, specifically how the war affected those on the homefront, just began to grate a bit. I think Burns needs a paradigm shift. The 6-disc box set features audio commentary, deleted scenes, additional interviews, and a behind-the-scenes featurette.

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Also available is the 4-disc soundtrack from Ken Burns’s The War (Sony Legacy, $49.98 SRP), sporting dozens of period tunes, from big band to swing to torch songs, all of which are nicely evocative.

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It’s not a magic bag of tricks, but there’s plenty of surprises in the Felix The Cat: Golden Anniversary Edition set (Classic Media, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP). In addition to the complete, fully remastered 1958-1959 run of the television series, the 2-disc set features a very nice interview with animation historian John Canemaker, an original 21920’s Feline Follies short, and an archival promo reel.

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I’ve praised the space-related output of Apogee Books in the past, and I’ll do so again with their latest must-have tome for space nuts like myself – Astronautics: Book 1 – Dawn Of The Space Age (Apogee Books, $24.95 SRP). Author Ted Spitzmiller gives an engrossing blow-by-blow account of mankind’s efforts to reach the stars, and I can only hope volume 2 is quick in coming.

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From their grungy roots to toplining heights, the 2-disc Ramones: It’s Alive 1974-1996 (Rhino, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP) contains 33 rare live performances from concerts and TV programs the world over, plus interviews rare music videos, and more.

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Even 50 years later, Audrey Hepburn glows in Funny Face (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$14.99 SRP). Newly remastered, the new special edition of Hepburn and Fred Astaire’s Parisian jaunt features a trio of featurettes, a photo gallery, and the original theatrical trailer.

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Schlock till you drop with Warner’s Twisted Terror Collection (Warner Bros., Rated R, DVD-$49.98 SRP), which brings together 6 horror flicks in one cheap box – The Hand, Dr. Giggles, Someone’s Watching Me, From Beyond The Grave, Deadly Friend, and Eyes Of A Stranger.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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QSE News: Week In Review – 10/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:03 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Britney Spears has lost custody of her children. This most recent development in the continued self destruction that is Spears came as a shock to few. Spears’s ex-husband has been awarded custody of the couple’s two children by a Los Angeles court. Spears is reportedly ok with the court’s decision because she recently found out that she wouldn’t be able to get as much as she thought trading the kids for drugs.
  • Radiohead will be releasing its much anticipated next album sooner than expected. The album, titled In Rainbows, will be available through the band’s website next week. Everyone that has heard the album is already saying they love it even though they really don’t.
  • Actor Nicholas Cage was woken by a naked man that had broken into his California home. Robert Furo, a tailor, was found wearing nothing but one of Cage’s jackets. Cage commented on the case by saying only “I’m use to waking up, not knowing what’s happening and surrounded by naked men, but I didn’t pay this guy so I don’t know what his deal is.”
  • The International Astronomical Union’s Committee on Small Body Nomenclature has announced that they have approved a plan to change the name of asteroid “1994 GT9” to “7307 Takei”.  The change in name comes as an honor to actor George Takei, who played the role of Sulu on Star Trek.  Researchers named it after Takei because the asteroid is on a collision course with Uranus. What? That’s an astronomy joke. Get your mind out of the gutter.
  • Someone has stolen computers and photos from the set of the new Indiana Jones movie. Local police are looking into the theft and representatives for Steven Spielberg have warned media outlets that any information they receive about the film may be stolen. Spielberg himself said of the theft “Damn. If only there was someone to help track down these lost artifacts.”

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Trailer Park: What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:02 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

What a summer.

Between not letting the INDIANA JONES story die a quiet death (it was picked up by the New York Post’s infamous Page 6) and busting out two interviews in one week I am damn near done with everything in my written arsenal.

I think, if you were to have talked to me prior to the Comic-Con, I felt better about this year’s Con than I did in year’s past. One of the reasons why I had a little more confidence wasn’t that I had scored any earth shattering celebrutard, although I was really trying to get Robert Downey Jr. and/or Jon Favreau who both would have been excellent people to get for the 5 or 10 minutes I would’ve been given, but I had enough to get me through the weekend. I had a few things here, a party there, some screenings down the street and a host of other little things that made one big haul. As I put the finishing touches on the video interview last week with Missy Peregrym (I can still do it without even consulting my dictionary) I was struck by the solid response from studios that actually worked with me. It’s been a slow process to actually get to the point that I have now, at the end of every day though I realize what I do here has little with how the earth revolves but that’s another tirade for another day, but it’s been nice progression. Doing this, believe it or not, requires a lot of work from a lot of people but these past weeks of interviews that I’ve been posting have been extremely satisfying from a professional standpoint insofar that I hope at least one of them have been interesting for one of my three fans out there to actually read/watch. The interviews, though, are something people keep asking me to do. People are taking notice and, like Oliver, asking for more. The downside though, as many of you can probably tell, is that they’re incredibly labor intensive. I’ve sought solace in a helper who was eager to do the heavy lifting, and for that I’m grateful, but these things keep coming.

I’m a trailer park, not some Entertainment Tonight wannabe. That’s why, though, I think keep important people coming back. I’m not interested in what a lot of other frou frou reporters like to talk about and it’s really my eternal quest to be different (Oh, how punk of me to say…) that keeps drawing me back into talking to someone. Again, I hope this is something that works for the lot of you out there and are enjoying both sides of what I’m doing with this space. Since none of you write in to tell me otherwise I’m going to keep doing what I damn well please.

However, that part is done with for this week and I am on to planning bigger things. This fall will bring you more unique fireside chats from an amalgam of varying personalities. For example, in preparation for 30 DAYS OF NIGHT I have talked with Editor-In-Chief/Poop Shoot slave driver, Chris Ryall, about his work with this summer’s breakout hit, TRANSFORMERS (I loved it) to IFC’s own Henry Rollins as he talks with me 1:1 about what to make of the Republican administration’s stance on homosexuality when you have all these closeted cases of men who prefer the ol’ Hickory Farms Genoa salami than to the cavernous pleasure of the bearded clam to a rather interesting interview with one of the professionals on DANCING WITH THE STARS on why I can’t look away when it’s on.

There is a lot going on here when I’m not looking at trailers and thank the Lord that these interviews hit in the late summer. We’ve had nothing really of any note come through these parts worth watching but with the hotness that is the IRON MAN trailer (Which I’ll get to later) and the comedic (See example at the bottom of the column) there have been smatterings here and there of greatness. I hope to keep punctuating the weeks of interviews with more trailer goodness but whatever happens know that I am constantly trying to keep your ADD at bay by not doing the same old thing, week after week.

That all said, I did want to make mention of a DVD that should be on everyone’s Netflix queue or in every hand when you go into a Blockbuster: AWAY FROM HER. Directed and written by Sarah Polley, which was based on a short story by the wickedly sharp Alice Munro, for those who have an appreciation for novels should pick up Munro’s Lives of Girls and Women, the movie is unlike anything you’ve seen this year.

In a period of time when most movie going experiences allow you to surrender to the technical wizardry of the high-tech and sensory overloading this is movie that forces you to slow down, to listen and to pay attention to how real drama can be presented without it feeling contrived or false. Because the subject matter is so heady, the film deals with one couple’s quiet heartbreak as one of them succumbs to the effects of Alzheimer’s in a wrenchingly tragic way. When you could consider all the ways that this film could go be it saccharine sweet, slightly affective, completely tear jerking or oddly distant, this is one of the most harmonious blends of everything. Where Polley excels in this film isn’t in her presentation of a story that seems so painful and wrenching but it’s her awareness and ability to communicate the story in a way that brings you closer to feeling like you’re listening in to something you shouldn’t.

Who would have thought that the woman who singlehandedly made a difference in making GO more than it was and DAWN OF THE DEAD wickedly compelling (Try and tell me that her escape from the zombie child and subsequent hoards wasn’t the best way to kick off that flick)? Polley has had one of the more unconventional careers in Hollywood with the way she’s navigated and picked her projects but that’s what makes this movie so great: it’s coming from a place and a woman who immerses herself in everything she does and the material couldn’t be more dense than it already is.

The film, I promise, will linger on long after you’re done watching it. If you’re attuned to the nuances of how people who are in love deal with one another then I think this story about how one of them slowly has the memory of that love slowly dissolve like a frame of film in front of a projector is just the right thing to get in touch with your inner softie.

Like I said, this needs to be in your Netflix queue as of yesterday.

DEDICATION (2007)

Director: Justin Theroux
Cast:
Billy Crudup, Mandy Moore, Tom Wilkinson, Martin Freeman, Dianne Wiestn
Release: Now out at a penny saver near you.
Synopsis:
Henry Roth is messed up. A New York children’s book author who tells kids that Santa doesn’t exist, he hates sleeping with – and next to – anyone, including his girlfriend and must lay on the floor, usually with heavy objects on top of him just to feel safe. His motto is Life is nothing but the occasional burst of laughter rising above the interminable wail of grief. “Dedication,” a modern love story in which a misanthropic, emotionally complex author of a hit children’s book series (Billy Crudup) is forced to team with a beautiful illustrator (Mandy Moore) after his best friend and creative collaborator (Tom Wilkinson) passes away marks the directorial debut of Justin Theroux. As Henry struggles with letting go of the ghosts of love and life, he discovers that sometimes you have to take a gamble at life to find love.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. First of all, lose the porkpie hat and stick your barely conceivable contempt for Intertube users right up your pretentiously laser engraved MacBook Pro’s ass.

Really, you’re happy to be introducing your bumwad trailer on Apple and you’re so happy that a few monkeys with opposable thumbs can operate a keyboard to behold your cinematic achievement? Wow, bud, you’re big time.

Of course, Justin may not have wanted to do this. Maybe he was forced to do it by some well-meaning PR flunky but it’s damn gauche and it only serves to rankle me even before seeing the thing.

That said, though, I am utterly taken by the first few moments of this trailer. As Billy rattles off some of the more bizarre ADD quirks and superstitions he carries in his own head, the sequence edited quite nicely in capturing that herky-jerky style of psychosis that is really indicative of writers in modern film; it’s a hackneyed trope, to be sure, but Billy makes me believe it. And, to boot, one of the more shocking things to ever be hammered out by my fingers, I like Mandy Moore’s blankness.

The musical score that cues in is reminiscent of ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND but that’s OK. It’s mood lighting on an already nicely prepared moment.

What’s better, and what can be applauded, is this movie’s marketing campaign that decided to throw a little caution into the face of what a trailer should be. The voiceless moments of Billy wandering around by himself, looking all dejected like every good movie portrayal of a writer should be, reinforces the character. The moment where Billy lets some little girl know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist is a nice cherry on a turd sundae which he is most certainly is. The issue here, then, is how you humanize a turd. Ahh, yes, you enlist Mandy Moore to help.

Mandy does add a certain kind of beauty to the mix, regardless of how they’re trying to uglify the girl, and as Crudup and her share some time in a diner wherein Moore tries to throttle Billy’s obvious misanthropic (Again, nice move when trying to capture the essence of writers. All writers hate people. Remember that.)

When Martin Freeman comes into the mix there’s the sense that there could be a triangle worth getting invested in but, really, even as the soothing sounds of the techno track beat on you kind of get the sense that things will work out with everyone finally showing a smile as Billy and Mandy end up together.

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (2007)

Director: Craig Gillespie
Cast: Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider, Kelli Garner, Patricia Clarkson Release: October 12th, 2007
Synopsis: Written by Six Feet Under scribe Nancy Oliver, Lars and the Real Girl is a heartfelt comedy starring Academy-Award nominated Ryan Gosling as Lars Lindstrom a loveable introvert whose emotional baggage has kept him from fully embracing life. After years of what is almost solitude, he invites Bianca, a friend he met on the internet to visit him. He introduces Bianca to his Brother Gus (Paul Schneider) and his wife Karen (Emily Mortimer) and they are stunned. They don’t know what to say to Lars or Bianca – because she is a life-size doll, not a real person and he is treating her as though she is alive. They consult the family doctor Dagmar (Patricia Clarkson) who explains this is a delusion he’s created – for what reason she doesn’t yet know but they should all go along with it. What follows is an emotional journey for Lars and the people around him.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. I hope this film serves as a cautionary tale to those people who want to affect the trappings of “indie” but have no desire to actually be indie.

When you come right out of the chute with Gosling and some random old hag striking up a conversation right outside a church, a church for God’s sake, and she asks the question about whether Ryan has a girlfriend to which he says he doesn’t have one the question right back to him about whether he likes gay love seems a whole lot of out of place to me, to say nothing of its un-funnyness.

What happens next, we get the quirky mannerisms of someone who seems to fall somewhere between Corky from LIFE GOES ON and Napoleon Dynamite. There’s definitely the feeling that they’re trying too hard, real hard, to make Ryan this caricature of a man who we’re supposed to either sympathize with or feel sorry for. I feel like we’re being sold pretty hard to believe the character.

The same comment as above applies to the actual introduction to the rubber woman we’re supposed to find outrageously amusing but there isn’t anything, I think, to laugh at here. You’ve got a mildly retarded dude who wants the world to believe this is a real woman. In case you miss the point of the entire movie, here it is again: we’re supposed to believe that this guy believes his love doll has meaning beyond being a sperm receptacle.

Aaaaaand, to wit, the little “moment” where Emily Mortimer has it out with Gosling about his love doll is complete bullshit beyond any realm of acceptable reality when she says that the entire small town in which they all live (Yeah, I’m sure the townsfolk would be real accommodating for a sex toy being carted into the local Denny’s on Grand Slam Sunday and not hang the poor “˜tard right at the entrance) has been, and I quote “bending over backward” to accommodate his whacked out fetish.

I’d sooner believe that one day all the clients of Ford Modeling Agency suddenly wake up and have the collective urge to satisfy every young pre-pubescent in America than I do for this contrived tripe.

Oh, and the love doll clip of her holding a book “reading” to a classroom of kids? Let me go on record as saying that if I ever found out that some sex mannequin was a stand-in for book time I would hang the “˜tard myself with a rope. To make it seem like a funny joke just misses the mark of what a quirky comedy should be.

Maybe it’s just me but I don’t understand what could possibly be redeeming about this farce of a flick. Gosling, I was with him with HALF NELSON and I was happy to give the man his due in that trailer, but there is absolutely nothing redeeming in this one. Nothing.

FINISHING THE GAME (2007)
Director: Justin Lin
Cast:
Roger Fan, Sun Kang, Bonnie Hunt, Dustin Nguyen, Mousa Kraish
Release: October 5th, 2007
Synopsis: The unexpected death of Bruce Lee, a worldwide phenomenon and established movie star, came at the zenith of his popularity. Having already shot scenes for his upcoming movie GAME OF DEATH, studio heads decided to complete the film by launching a search for his replacement attracting hopefuls from all around the world. FINISHING THE GAME is an uproarious, poignant, unpredictable and action-packed re-imagining of that casting process for Lee’s replacement and examines the leaps and bounds Asians have taken in media representation – or have they?

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. Absolutely funny. It’s genuinely a good reason to watch a trailer.

One of the things about growing up when I did was that when THE CROW came out in 1994 it was damn near my CITIZEN KANE. Although, and obviously, I grew out of that phase of thinking it was better than it really is there was something really intriguing about knowing more about the son of Bruce. The kid’s life and eventual demise on a movie set took on a mythic quality and it was something that eventually led me to discovering ENTER THE DRAGON and then other Asian films that led me to appreciate other movies from around the world. It was a curious thing, though, to watch a biography on Bruce Lee that included moments from a movie that I wish would have been made under Bruce’s watch: GAME OF DEATH.

Here, then, was a movie that I initially thought was something serious; something that was going to hopefully honor Bruce’s first intention and dismiss the cinematic garbage that was GAME OF DEATH as it eventually was filmed. Lo and behold, though, there was something else afoot.

This movie has nothing to do with the reality of GAME OF DEATH but that’s quite all right when you see the opening moments of this trailer. It does an excellent job, much better than when a comedy tries too hard to let you know that it’s a comedy with its gimpy goofiness, as it presents itself. You think that you really are watching how some filmmakers wanted to finish GAME OF DEATH but it’s not until after the Sundance mention of its acceptance as an official selection that you realize you’ve been duped. From a room full of Bruce Lee wannabes, one chain smoking as he furiously whips around some nunchucas and as another is taking a pencil and re-creating the android knife trick from ALIENS, to a sleazy producer who says that GAME OF DEATH of Bruce’s GONE WITH THE WIND it starts things on the right foot.

Fast forward to being introduced to Breeze Loo, a good looking martial artist who has more than enough ego to make this character worth watching simply for the amusement factor, to Cole, another actor who just is simply an ignorant sap who wants in a movie no matter the cost, to Poon, a character actor who doesn’t realize his limitations or stereotype as an Asian in television in the 70’s, you’ve got a mix of interesting people to stick a finger at and have a good laugh mocking.

As you watch our hopefuls vie for the role of Bruce, their auditions going about as well as anything you see on American Idol in any given season, there is the requisite sense that this isn’t going to go well on purpose. There is the feeling, though, that the filmmakers have captured a certain time period with their production and how everything looks and feels. I’m giving points here for keeping everything, even the music, specific to the moment. It’s immersive.

I am absolutely going on record, though, as saying that nothing has made me laugh harder than when the Caucasian wild-card who is trying for Bruce’s role (a goof in itself, obviously) gets into it with another hopeful as they spar with one another during training. The punch to the nuts that white boy lands and the relentless twist and grab of his opponent’s man’s sack is excellent. Truly one that elevates any staged nut shot this season.

And, to expend the joke a little further, the absolutely unnecessarily long web site: http://www.youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com/ is just one more part to this twisted, comedic puzzle. I couldn’t recommend this trailer enough for a good quick laugh.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • A different angle on Daniel Radcliffe, courtesy of Ricky Gervias & Stephen Merchant… (Thingamabob)

October 4, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/4/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:03 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • A documentary on animation great Tex Avery… (Thingamabob)

October 3, 2007

Win The Second Season of The Unit!

Filed under: Contests — widge @ 5:39 am


In conjunction with Fox Home Video, we’re celebrating the DVD release of the complete second season of THE UNIT by giving away 4 copies of the feature-laden box set.

All you have to do to enter is fill out the entry form below”¦

Contest ends at midnight EST on Friday, October 5th.

Contest closed. Thanks for playing.

Scrubs Blog: A Guided Tour – Part 3

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:54 am

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VIDEO BLOG #90: “A Guided Tour – Part 3″ ““
The long-awaited continuation of the Scrubs set tour has finally arrived, with special tour guides Production Manager Richard Wells, Ken Jenkins, and Neil Flynn.

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Download Scrubs Video Blog #90:

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Toy Box: Smart Bombs – The Blanks

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 2:19 am

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If you loved the Muppets, then you know Ken Lilly, or at least his work. As the heart and soul behind the amazing line from Palisades, he made his mark on the action figure market. After leaving Palisades, Ken moved on to form his own company, Creatus Maximus.

The first product Ken developed on his own was Smart Bombs. These are actually Little Boy and Fat Man, the two bombs dropped on Japan to end the Pacific side of World War II, done up with clear domes that show off small brains inside. While the first sets were done with satirical designs, like R2-D2 or Batman, the new releases are completely blank. In fact, they are called ‘blanks’. They are designed for YOU to free your creative beast, and see what you can do with a couple unique bombs.

In my review of the original Smart Bombs, I did a long intro on the history of these two particular weapons. Check it out here for the full skinny – now on to the review of the blanks!

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Packaging – **1/2
The white boxes do a fine job of getting them to you in one piece. The graphic design is solid, but the basic packaging fits the style and size of the company itself.

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Sculpting – ***1/2
The sculpts aren’t exact duplicates of the infamous bombs, but are designed to be as close as possible, and still be unique. You (or anyone that stops by your cube) is going to instantly recognize these two guys, no matter what funky paint job you might give them.

As I mentioned in the previous review of the painted Smart Bombs, the actual scale between these two bombs is actually quite good, being only slightly off. They are fairly small though, with Little Boy at about 3 1/2″ and Fat Man at 3″. It’s going to depend on how you paint them up as to what other lines they might work well with.

The sculpts are a bit more detailed than you might expect, with rivets and other doo-dads giving them some texture. The sculpt on the brains is a bit soft, but considering the scale, it’s not too much of an issue.

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Paint – Bupkis
Usually a bupkis is not a good thing, but this time it’s really the whole point. These are white, with clear domes to show off the ‘brains’. These are intended to bring out the artist in you, allowing YOU to design the paint scheme, much like the vinyl figures from many Japanese companies.

Articulation – **1/2
The articulation here is at the arm joints. Since several arms are included, and are meant to be easily swapped around, there’s one post joint where the arm meets the body. It’s not too much, but considering the size, probably enough. Some of the extra arms could have had wrist articulation, but it’s not a major loss.

Accessories – ***
As I mentioned, both bombs come with all three extra sets of arms. There’s robot arms, cartoon arms (think Mickey Mouse), and bat wings. By including these arms, or skipping them altogether, you can create quite a number of different looks for the base body. This gives you even more options when it comes to the final deco. The actual small bomb attachments on the sides pop off to allow you to attach the various arms.

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Fun Factor – **
Hmmm. Not sure exactly how these would fit in with the normal 8 year old play patterns, but the concept of drawing and painting on them would go over big. I’m betting most parents would prefer cut bears or cats though, and those are out there in blank form as well from other companies.

However, if you’re an adult looking for a fun, creative project, then you can add at least another star, maybe two to this category for you!

Value – **1/2
These are actually a pretty good price at $10 each. The painted sets from last year were $30 for the pair, but they were also a convention exclusive. It’s also a plus that these are sold individually, rather than in sets, allowing you more choice.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not a thing. What you see is what you get, and it’s sturdy and well made.

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Overall – ***
If you’re looking for something interesting and unique upon which you can unleash your inner creative spirit, these are a great choice. In many ways, I like the blanks much better than the versions that were already painted, and I can’t wait to see the many cool ideas that CMX fans come up with to decorate their Smart Bombs.

If you’re still not sure about using two of the most deadly weapons ever unleashed on civilization as templates for art, I can’t do much to change your mind. I did go through an explanation in my previous review though, which I’m going to post here again:

“Are these anti-war? Pro-war? Or bad taste? In reality, they’re art. And that means they will be anything and everything, acting as a mirror to the viewers opinions and feelings rather than representing the same thing to everyone.

I can’t speak for Ken, since what he felt when he designed them and what purpose he hopes they serve is a personal thing. I could assume of course, using my own conceptions and judgments to color that assumption, but I’ll leave that for the more rabid.

I can tell you though what they mean to me. I am terribly afraid that we’ve forgotten what these bombs represent. In a world where people are stupid enough to believe the Holocaust never happened, or that the U.S. never landed on the moon, there are already going to be enough people stupid enough to believe that nuclear weapons are somehow a possible solution to a conflict. They think it’s like somebody else has a vest of dynamite strapped on, but we have the button. In reality, everyone has a vest of dynamite strapped on, and they all have the buttons – and once one of them pushes it, they are all going to explode.

While we can’t get past the fact that there will always be some people that stupid, we can’t let them become the majority. We have to remember that this genie can’t be let out of the bottle again. The first time, we were children playing with an electric outlet. Oh, sure, we had some logical idea that it was going to hurt, but we had to experience it to understand it emotionally. But that was a long time ago now, and forgetting is a little too easy. If something like this disturbs you, or you find it in bad taste, that’s a good thing. It means you remember and appreciate the magnitude of destruction that these little bombs represent. And if you appreciate the irony of the little brains in the top, and the silly motifs, well, all the better.”

Where to Buy –
These are available through the Creatus Maximus online store, and run $10 each. They aren’t quite there yet, but should be listed by Friday, so book mark the site!

Related Links –
Check out my review of a couple of the original painted versions from CMX, and head over to their site as well.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/3/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:28 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • So, you want to make your living as a giant rat… (Thingamabob)
  • The intro to the upcoming Super Mario Galaxy(Thingamabob)
  • Top 10 Tracy Morgan moments from 30 Rock(Thingamabob)
  • Why Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Emmy… (Thingamabob)

October 2, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/2/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:46 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • I don’t know why you say goodbye I say hello… (Thingamabob)

October 1, 2007

SModcast 31

Filed under: SModcast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:14 am

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SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 31: Loneliness Of The Long Distance Mosier –

In which our heroes ponder congress with strangers, arranged marriages, the Byzantine nature of the electoral college, the extent of principles (via the example of crop-shredding, sexually harassing monkeys), Darth Vader alerts, weight maintenance, the supposed joys of running, and climbing Everest.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 31 (MP3 format) – 47.71 MB

[display_podcast]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes
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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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The Art Of Travel Blog #5: The Jungle

Filed under: Art of Travel Blog,Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am

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We are happy to present the exclusive web only trailer and first of seven behind the scenes webisodes of The Art of Travel. Each month, we’ll premiere a new webisode – and in-between, we’ll have biweekly blogs from the actors and filmmakers, plus cool image captures from the movie.

This story has been three years in the making, and shooting the film over 7 weeks in 5 countries was an adventure for the entire cast and crew.

No, The Art of Travel is not a documentary or the retelling of the bestselling philosophy book with the same title – It is the story of Conner Layne, a high school grad with a full ride to college who finds his plans interrupted by a life changing moment… a moment which becomes the spring board to a travel adventure that ultimately changes Conner’s hopes and dreams.

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Imagine spending 370 days hacking through a jungle to make a road for a jeep, forging ahead with 6 other travelers to break a world record.

Half of The Art of Travel revolves around this kind of adventure and how Conner becomes part of it, and what he takes from it to go further on his journey to Peru and Bolivia. They fight days of pounding rain, swollen rivers, a 7 mile switch back in the mud, and more! Although it only took nearly three weeks to shoot this entire section, it was enough time for the cast and crew to realize that such a feet would be hell! The Darien Gap has been traveled by people who sought to break records in the past, but only a couple of expeditions ever pulled it off with a vehicle in tow! This section of the film is inspired by these accounts of the Darien. Enjoy webisode 5… “The Jungle”.

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Thomas Whelan, Angelika Baran, Brian La Belle, Emyr G. Graciano, Christopher Kennedy Masterson (Cusco, Peru)

Salude from the Filmmakers!

Thomas Whelan
Brian LaBelle
Emyr G. Graciano
Christopher Kennedy Masterson

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Download The Art Of Travel Video Blog #5:

 

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 39.36 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 17.14 MB)

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THE ART OF TRAVEL TRAILER ““
Before you dive into the webisodes, check out the trailer for The Art of Travel

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Download The Art of Travel Trailer:

 

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 28.04 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 11.63 MB)

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THE ART OF TRAVEL VIDEO BLOG #4: “The Darien” ““
Cross the formidable – and deadly – Darien Gap with the cast and crew…

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Download The Art Of Travel Video Blog #4:

 

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 42.42 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 18.94 MB)

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THE ART OF TRAVEL VIDEO BLOG #3: “Ladrones” ““
How exactly do you woo a cast willing to travel into the wilds of Central America…

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Download The Art Of Travel Video Blog #3:

 

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 40.02 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 17.56 MB)

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THE ART OF TRAVEL VIDEO BLOG #2: “Casting The Net” ““
How exactly do you woo a cast willing to travel into the wilds of Central America…

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Download The Art Of Travel Video Blog #2:

 

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 31.97 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 17.95 MB)

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THE ART OF TRAVEL VIDEO BLOG #1: “Gonzo Filmmaking” ““
Dive into the process of pulling together the film, and the unique insanity of transporting a cast and crew into the wilds of Central America…

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Download The Art Of Travel Video Blog #1:

 

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 41.03 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 17.95 MB)

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Party Favors: Dumb Dora No More

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:03 am

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SICUATE, MA – The white capped waves roll over the boulders and slam against the sea wall as a constant drizzle covers me. They call this chunk of coastline the Irish Riviera for a reason. This is the kind of moment that demands a redhead in a white cable knit sweater offering me a bowl of clam chowder while Van Morrison’s Astral Weeks leaks from behind the storm door. If I grew out my bald spot, this would be a perfect Bono moment.

Little did I know while staring at the sea that Brett Somers had passed away. Why weren’t the Post Office flags lowered to half mast? Why didn’t Dancing With the Stars get interrupted so the President could comfort us in this time of national grief? Why didn’t Time-Warner cable return GSN to the normal digital package so we could remember her greatness in a marathon of Match Game episodes? How could America go to bed without tears? Brett Somers was gone!

It was strangely appropriate that timing worked out this way. For it was in the greater Boston area that I discovered Brett during her glory days on Match Game. Summer vacations with the relatives always involved going up to my great uncles’ apartment where they religiously watched Match Game on their huge (for the time) color TV. My uncles weren’t the greatest of conversationalists so the wit of Brett and Charles Nelson Reilly dominated the room.

Brett and Charles came off as a great married couple. They knew how to poke each other without turning it into a brawl. Where does one go nowadays to see a “healthy” married couple on TV? Today’s TV watching child gets an afternoon of married couples brawling on Springer, cheating on Maury and being pathetic on Dr. Phil. Who wants to get married after seeing these sub-humans that have zero interest in being monogamous? Where’s the joy? Brett and Charles did more to defend marriage than a Congress full of divorced, closest cases. They practiced the fine art of prick and caress.

Brett was the greatest aunt that I never had. She was the great aunt that always forgot to send a birthday check, but I didn’t despise her for such a misgiving cause her visits were the greatest of gifts. Plus she was probably too buzzed on the Match Game ‘s cocktail cart to remember what day it really was. Why do people get uptight when celebrities appear on TV drunk? Brett was a fun woman on the Friday episodes because she was so buzzed. We need more happy drunk role models instead of the nasty drunks that appear on Cops.

Like Charles, back in the ’70s, a kid didn’t have a real clue why Brett was famous enough to be a regular on Match Game. How was I supposed to know about her Broadway career? Not all of us were born to be Frank Rich. But it was a thrill to see her as Oscar’s ex-wife on The Odd Couple TV series. She really could act when standing up. The recently released The Odd Couple: The Second Season contains her first appearances on the show. There’s a great episode where she, Oscar and Felix recall the New Year’s Eve party that lead to the divorce. Besides being a great aunt, she made the perfect ex-wife. Indeed she was so superb in the role that Jack Klugman and her separated while The Odd Couple was aired. They never divorced.

In barely two years time we have lost Nipsey Russell, Charles Nelson Reilly and now Brett. The greatest top row combination on Match Game has left us. Whenever lightening cracks across the sky, I shall tell my children that Brett has embarrassed Gene Rayburn. At least we still have Richard Dawson to give us a good shot at the Super Match. There’s always Fannie Flagg and Patti Deutsch to give us that last shot of matching redemption. Although if it comes down to Patti, you’re screwed. She was nuts in her answers.

Since there will be no national day of mourning for Brett and you might not get GSN (thanks for nothing, Time-Warner cable), may I recommend you pick up the boxset of Match Game or The Second Season of the Odd Couple. Remember that as long as Brett’s on your TV, she’s really deep in your heart.

ANOTHER SOX MOVIE?

The real reason for the visit to Boston is that I scored tickets for the Redsox-Yankees game for the September 14th game at Fenway. Amazingly enough the folks at the ballpark allowed me to take my video camera for a tour and during the game. I’m in the process of editing Riding the Monster. It’ll be posted here in a few weeks.

What does the film hold other than a vanity piece about me and my standing room space? I uncover the dark secrets of Fenway including the NL part of the Green Monster scoreboard, how they get water to the infield and the mysterious door in the owner’s box. Plus there’s footage of Peter Gammons talking to Joe Torre. And Jackie MacMullan of Around the Horn waves at the camera.

One moment I couldn’t shoot was when John Henry, the owner of the Redsox, came down the aisle toward me. I’ve joked in the past that Henry reminds me of David Bowie’s alien pal in Man Who Fell to Earth. Up close, he’s a bit not of this earth. As he approached, I said, “Nice evening for a game, sir.” At the time the Redsox were up 7-2. He gave me this puzzled nod and then kept walking. I’ve met other sport team owners. They’ve always been willing to able to say a real response and thanking me for coming out to the game. I flew hundreds of miles to stand for five hours. And he gives me a semi-brush off that I’d expect from George Steinbrenner. Jackie MacMullen waved from a distance. Maybe I should cut the guy some slack since his hedge fund has gone from $2.9 billion to $1.2 billion. Maybe he was trying to remember where he lost the TV Guide since there might be a billion stashed in the cover.

If you follow sports, you’ll realize that my game was known as the bullpen meltdown. The team entered the 8th leading 7-2. Then the allstar relief pitchers of Hideki Okajima and Jonathan Papelbon were destroyed by the Yankees. The inning ended with the Bronx Bombers leading 8-7. What went wrong? Who do we blame? I blame the usher in my section. Right before the start of the 8th inning, this guy went around with a box of Klennex. He handed everyone in a Yankees hat or t-shirt a tissue. He jinxed that bullpen. Do not tempt fate in Fenway. There are more prayers said every game in that green paradise than any mega-church’s midnight Mass. There’s no cockiness in Fenway. We’ve seen victory go into the dirt. Don’t you be thinking Bill Buckner. You must remember that if Bob Stanley hadn’t thrown the ball into the dirt, the Mets wouldn’t have scored the tying run. While Buckner blew the catch, odds were good the Sox would blow the ’86 World Series in extra innings. All Bob Stanley had to do was put a strike into Rich Gedman’s mitt and the game was over. Oh the agony. Now I must think about the 2004 World Series. Now it’s all good. Did you know for a week after they claimed the title, I feared the Redsox would lose the trophy because of a crazy ruling from the commissioner about a bylaw involving an illegal pinch hitting substitution. It can happen.

I don’t know the name of the usher that handles the first base side standing room area at Fenway. But if you see him holding a Kleenex box, rip it out of his hands. Don’t let him curse the Sox.

We were disappointed at the loss, but after watching nearly five hours of a nine inning ballgame, we were exhausted. We could have had our mail forwarded to Fenway. Although it would have to be General Delivery since we were standing roomers. Even with defeat, it was beautiful to witness the glory and the spite in person. At this moment, there is no greater rivalry than Sox-Yankees. And there’s no sweeter moment than watching my wife stare out at the field and scream, “A-Rod, you suck!!!!”

Now I need some Klennex.

OWEN OUT

In a shocking move, the Wilson family has announced that they have placed Owen on waivers and have replaced him with Matthew McConaughey. “Owen isn’t upholding the Wilson brand. His personal life has overshadowed our public persona. Too much heaviness. Sure Matthew has had his troubles with the law, but getting high and naked while playing the bongos appeals to the Wilson brand,” a source close to Luke Wilson reportedly said. “Plus he’s a Texan like us.”

Is it proper to hate on Wes Anderson because he’s allowed his personal fashion sense to overwhelm his movie? Why does the New York Times have to give us the inside skinny on his suede shoes? We used to wear those semi-Hush Puppies in Catholic High School (sneakers were banned). Does that mean I went to a “peripatetic” hot spot? And he “discovered” the Kinks’ Lola Versus Powerman and the Money-Go-Round, Part One! Wow. That’s really f’n obscure. I bet there’s not a single classic rock station that has ever played a track off that Kinks record. Maybe someday he’ll dig up an Atomic Rooster track. We also listened to that at Cardinal Gibbons High School. Is Wes Anderson really that far beyond us or is he merely aping school kids from decades ago?

Are we supposed to feel pity for Wes because he can’t slumber without his embroidered pajamas and dainty sleep mask? Oh the burden of being trapped in Wes Anderson’s creative body. Maybe he’ll have a dream of Lee Marvin kicking his ass for being such a major wuss? Guess it is easier to go on about a sleep mask than deal with the issue of a guy playing a suicide case who turns out to be a suicide case in real life. I’m already sick of The Darjeeling Limited.

McLOVIN MOMENT

For those who are fans of the movie Superbad, my brother Russ made a video visit to the convenience store featured in the film.

Fake IDs will be appreciated.

TASTE THE PARADISE

There’s a nasty rumor on the internet that I was Anthony Bourdain’s guide on the Travel Channel’s No Reservations. According to those lying sources the episode was called The Air Conditioned Nightmare Part 2. Instead of treating Bourdain to Southern delicacies like his visit to Charleston, South Carolina, I forced him to experience the New South. Instead of Mama Dip’s, Wilbur’s BBQ and the Underground, he was treated to the TGIFridays, Ruby Tuesdays, Olive Garden and Red Lobster. If you want to believe the internet, an assistant editor lost their will to live while watching Bourdain and myself chow down on the newest Southern favorite delicacy: The Bloomin’ Onion at Outback.

Allegedly for fun, I took Bourdain to the Crabtree Valley Mall where I mourned how Spencer’s Gifts is gone. Where will the kids go for their dirty birthday cards with hot firemen studs hauling their hoses and overweight women in bikinis? After nearly 30 years, the dream is gone at my crummy mall. He may bitch about what MTV and Disney did to Time Square, but where will I go for my Kiss salt and pepper shakers? Sure they have a Spencer’s at the new mall across town, but this place had tradition!

Afterwards we went to an indoor batting cage to practice where the pitching machine had been altered to throw beanballs at 8 year olds. Why should Les Moonves be the only one to profit off abusing children on TV? The big finale was a midnight visit to the Krispy Kreme where we each ate a dozen hot glaze donuts right off the rollers. There was medical personal nearby in case we got holes burnt on our inner cheeks. We wrapped up the night by throwing rocks at Clay Aiken’s house. Don’t you want to call your travel agent and live the dream?

Of course all of this is a lie and the Travel Channel will deny that this shoot ever took place. Bourdain will admit that he’s never heard of me and that he didn’t drive off with my copy of Television’s Marquee Moon in his rental SUV’s cd player. Although if you catch Bourdain slumbering on a flight from Tangier to Taos, you might hear him mutter, “Joe, not another Chalupa!”

NIGHTMARE OF RAMSAY

Speaking of celeb chefs, Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares lost its identity when they imported it. If you’ve seen the version that runs on BBC America, you’ve witnessed a series that feels like a sweet documentary as Gordon peacefully helps out troubled restaurants. There’s a civility as he transforms the troubled into the healthy. His personal voiceover has a tinge of grace. If you watch Fox’s remake, you’ll experience a cross between Jerry Springer and Extreme Makeover: Dinner Edition. Plus they hired that over dramatic voiceover guy from Hell’s Kitchen to hype rather than tap into Ramsay’s thoughts. The pilot episode was unbelievable. They found a restaurant that served him the worst food on his first visit. The chef didn’t seem to give a crap that he needed to serve up the A game to Ramsay’s plate. What self respecting chef would do that? The restaurant was a complete mess. Wouldn’t you clean up the joint if you knew a network show was arriving? When grandma visited, you cleaned the toilet. Why wouldn’t they make sure everything is picture perfect? The owner of the place kept attacking creditors on the outside sidewalk. He even threw his elderly father to the concrete in his rage. Can this really be real? Do people really act this way when “reality” cameras appear in their life? Or is this the price they have to pay for the show to provide them with all new kitchen equipment?

I felt that Ramsay was a loud mouth fraud on Hell’s Kitchen. What’s so special about risotto and Beef Wellington? But when I caught a few of his peaceful BBC shows, I saw the guy as a creative chef who was passionate about the dining experience. Why did Ramsay have to destroy his image again? What’s he doing on his show that wasn’t captured on the episode of I Pity The Fool when Mr. T saved an Italian restaurant?

Before he saves anymore kitchens, Ramsay needs to save his identity.

KELLOGG’S KILLER

Why do the folks at Kellogg’s want to kill your children?

I’m not talking about the corn syrup they use to sweeten your cereal instead of sugar, nature’s sweetener. They created the most horrific idea ever for a children’s snack: Lego Fun Snacks. You think I’m lying? Look at the proof:

http://www2.kelloggs.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?product=8213

The evil scientists at Kellogg’s have devised the most destructive snack treat of all time. How many times do you have to tell a small child to not put Legos in their mouth? How many times were you told that Legos were not food? And how many kids get rushed to the emergency room because those colored building blocks were too tempting?

So what the hell do the fine folks at Kellogg’s do? Make it so kids can finally eat their Legos. This would all be fine and dandy if there were no more non-edible Legos at Toys ‘R Us. But we don’t live in that world, do we? You may say I’m over reacting. Do you believe that two year old kids are smart enough to tell the food and the toy apart? While I’m not a complete expert on 2 year olds, I do have experience taking things out of their mouths. They’re like dogs when it comes to putting crap in their mouth. You have to train them and when something comes along that ruins the “good” and “bad” logic, you’re screwed. They will eat the wrong things and you pay the consequences. The folks at Kellogg’s deny it was ever their fault.

All I hear about in the media is the rise of autistic children in America. Does Kellogg’s care if they confuse an autistic kid into thinking that all Legos are fair game for munchies? Why aren’t the various organizations for autistic children protesting this devious product? They have an easy target to drag before Congress. Why isn’t Jenny McCarthy protesting Legos Fun Snacks before her kid gets a mouthful of the wrong blocks?

Where is the common sense from the heads of Kellogg’s when it comes to new products? Do James M. Jenness and A.D. David Mackay have souls? It’s obvious that this was a product developed by Satan. Dr. Benjamin S. Carson, the Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery for Kellogg’s, needs to have his medical license yanked for allowing this product to touch the lips of children. Civil War surgeons wouldn’t have staked their reputations on Lego Fun Snacks. Was Dr. Carson a student of Dr. Moreau?

What’s next for Kellogg’s? How about Drano juiceboxes? When will we get edible dry cleaner bags from Battle Creek? How about a snack bar that’s a working Zippo lighter? Let’s roll out a fruit roll that looks just like a highway dividing line so kids can run into traffic when they want a tasty treat. I fear that Jenness, Mackay and Carson will have their demonic research department developing my ideas. These people have no care for your children. They’re too concerned with cultivating a suicide garden that’s hydrated with corn syrup.

The nice part is how Kellogg’s website has a place to click for “Family Focus.” That focus must include bringing families together at the funerals of children that choked to death on Legos.

RETRO REJOICE

Remember my rant about TVLand transforming into a middle aged reality channel? Well there shall be no more sniping at TVLand. Why? Did they do something amazing? Did they find the errors in their way? Nope.

I found something better in the Retro TV Network. This syndicated network has scored deals with Paramount and Universal to create a programming delight for folks who can’t stand another “look at me” reality show. This is old TV for people who enjoy watching TV.

During the week they show Streets of San Francisco, Gomer Pyle, Cannon, Ironside, Rockford Files, The Fugitive, Quincy, Get Smart, Perry Mason, Mission Impossible, The Untouchables, Matlock, Hawaii Five-0, Magnum P.I. , Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous and the greatest show known to Mankind: Love, American Style. On weekends they have Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew, Bonanza, Rawhide, Gunsmoke (including the black and white 30 minute early ones), Wild Wild West, Greatest American Hero, A-Team, Knight Rider, Airwolf, Buck Rogers, Alias Smith and Jones and It Takes a Thief.

Tubious, the TV god, has listened to my prayers. Although he skipped over Batman, The Six Million Dollar Man and Space Giants. Plus Brad Honecutt wants Mannix. But this is a great start.

A local station has decided to use RTN as the programming on their bonus digital channel. Hopefully a smart station manager in your town will give you the gift of Love, American Style. The only downside is that from 1 a.m. to 10 a.m., it’s a paid programming marathon, but this is a good excuse to get sleep. You’ll need plenty of energy to make it through the plot of Quincy.

On a different channel, American Life has Irwin Allen night on Thursdays. Get your fill of Lost In Space, Time Tunnel, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and Land of the Giants once a week.

MOVING PEOPLE?

The footage of the college student getting Tasered and the cellphone salesmen getting shot has shown a strange truth about America – we don’t give a crap. Did you notice how none of the other college students in the frame seemed outraged or fearful as their classmate was manhandled by campus security? As the guy is screaming from the 50,000 watts pumped through his body, there’s a row of kids who look utterly bored by the situation. After winning the football and basketball titles, it must take a lot to get the Gators to react. They weren’t even eyeballing as bystanders. They were zombies.

The same can be said about the youth sitting near a cellphone store. The salesman takes a gun shot in the chest from robbers. Do the kids duck for cover? Pull out a cellphone and call 911? Nope. They just barely look over to see the commotion. Heaven forbid any of these kids drop behind a car. Those kids look as bored as the college students.

Remember when America had a gag reflex towards violence? What happened to caring enough to protect our asses? Is Duck and Cover too much to remember for the Text-Message crowd? I don’t expect heroes in these situations, but please be repulsed and willing to save your ass from a dangerous moment.

RIGHT TITLE, WRONG FILM

Here’s a quick warning: Planet of Junior Brown on Showtime has nothing to do with the musician Junior Brown. Although that does sound like the perfect title for a documentary about the real Junior Brown.

Comics in Context #196: Celestial Mechanics

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 12:02 am

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cic2007-09-17.jpgIn the interview in the back of the hardcover collection of Neil Gaiman’s revival of Jack Kirby’s Eternals, Gaiman says, “One of my favorite things about this – which… takes advantage of… the nature of time in the Marvel Universe–is that in my story, the Third Host did indeed arrive; Arishem came down to judge. In 1976.”

First, as those of you who have been reading this column for the last two weeks may recall, Arishem came to judge Earth as a member of the Fourth Host of Celestials. More importantly, Neil Gaiman has a different understanding of “Marvel time” than I do.

Time passes much more slowly for Marvel’s fictional characters than it does in the real world. Otherwise, Peter Parker (alias Spider-Man), who was fifteen in his first appearance, published in 1962, would now be sixty. When I was active at Marvel in the 1980s, the rule was that in Marvel time it had been seven to ten years (depending on who you talked to) since the events of Fantastic Four #1, published in 1961. My impression is that John Byrne, a staunch defender of the “Marvel time” concept, would contend that no matter how much time has now passed since the publication of FF #1, it is still seven-to-ten years in Marvel time since the FF’s origin (see “Comics in Context” #25). I also have the impression that the current editorial team at Marvel, if they think about Marvel time much at all, may have now stretched the seven-to-ten years to as much as fifteen. This is a mistake (Should Spider-Man be thirty?), but that’s a subject for another day.

Had the original Eternals series by Jack Kirby been completely divorced from other known characters in the Marvel Universe, I would have no problem with the idea that it took place thirty-one years ago in Marvel time. But in the Kirby series two kids put together a robot simulacrum of the Hulk, and Sersi temporarily turns a student’s face into a replica of the Thing’s (Kirby Eternals collection p. 106). There is no way that in Marvel time the origins of the Hulk and the Thing occurred thirty-one years ago. Therefore, the Fourth Host had to arrive sometime within the last seven, ten or fifteen years of Marvel time, depending on your interpretation.

Ultimately, though, exactly when the Fourth Host arrived is a minor matter in the story: what is important is that they did, some years before Gaiman’s Eternals storyline begins. In the context of the series, it is Ikaris, who confesses that he has a faulty memory, who says it was “thirty years” since the Fourth Host came, so we can easily interpret this reference as a mistake on Ikaris’s part that nonetheless serves as a winking acknowledgment to the readers that Gaiman’s series marked the thirtieth anniversary of Jack Kirby’s original opus.

As for what happened after the Fourth Host landed, Ikaris admits that “I don’t really remember all of it after that,” but he does recall that the Fourth Host returned to outer space (“I guess you must have been okay,” Ikaris says, and, indeed, Arishem literally gave humanity a thumbs-up in Thor #300 in 1980), and thinks (correctly) that he “succeeded Zuras as the leader of the Eternals” (Gaiman Eternals issue 1 page 33).

Ordinarily I believe in strict adherence to Marvel continuity. But I also believe in not dragging more references to past continuity into a story than are necessary. Actually, Zuras died (or so we readers thought), and he was initially succeeded as the Eternals’ leader by his daughter Thena, before Ikaris succeeded her. But there is no need in the present storyline to go into that much detail, so Gaiman wisely leaves it out. Similarly, for the purposes of the new series, we do not need to know the circumstances under which the Fourth Host departed Earth.

Thus the injured Ikaris, alias “Ike Harris,” finished recounting the backstory of the Eternals to a medical student named Mark Curry, who has lost his memory of his true identity, the Eternal known as Makkari. Curry reacts with utter disbelief, pointing out that if the Fourth Host had landed, then their existence would be public knowledge. Back in the first issue of the second Eternals series, in 1985, writer Peter B. Gillis established that when the Fourth Host left Earth in Thor #300, they wiped out humanity’s memories of the Eternals, Deviants and Celestials, making a few exceptions, such as Sersi’s companion Dr. Samuel Holden. (In fact, Dr. Holden discovered that even when he told his students about the Eternals, Deviants and Celestials, they immediately forgot!) Arguably this violates Jack Kirby’s intentions, since he not only did numerous scenes in which humanity reacted to the colossal Celestials in their midst, but even did an issue in which Dr. Holden publicly revealed the existence of the Eternals and Deviants at New York’s City College (in Eternals Vol. 1 #6, 1976). But I expect that Gillis and Gaiman both believe that, now that Eternals is so explicitly set in the Marvel Universe, whose denizens are already well aware of the existence of superheroes and aliens, that the Eternals and Deviants can retain a certain mystery by operating out of public view.

Curry then demands to know why, if there were millions of Deviants before the coming of the Second Host, why they haven’t rebuilt their numbers to millions again. Gaiman never answers this question in the new series. In Iron Man Annual #6 (1983) the Eternals got rid of many Deviants, including their leader Brother Tode, by rearranging their atomic structures into a gigantic block which they transported into outer space. This was probably an effort by Marvel to reduce sharply the number of Deviants on Earth, but it still doesn’t explain why the Deviant population had not soared into millions.

Kirby provided a possible answer in the original series through the Deviants’ “Purity Time,” described as “an infamous ritual which never ends” (Kirby, p. 137).

Each Deviant is radically different genetically from the others. The Deviants nevertheless believe that this genetic variety must be kept within certain bounds. Through the endless “Purity Time,” any Deviant whose genetic deviations are judged to be too extreme is sentenced to be destroyed. The Deviants’ leader Brother Kro declared, “Killing serves a practical purpose here! It rids us of the unwanted” (Kirby p. 141). It is unclear what the Deviants’ standards for acceptable genetic variety is, but Kirby shows us that one Deviant, whom he called the Reject, was condemned because he looked exactly like a handsome normal human being. Since all other Deviants look grotesque, and look different from one another, then Kirby is showing us that their standards of racial purity make no sense (and by extension, that any standards of racial “purity” are nonsensical). The Deviants in power are simply venting their violent hatred and exercising their will to power by seemingly arbitrarily seeking out and executing scapegoats.

Deviants condemned in “Purity Time” are transported in “death wagons” (Kirby, p. 137). What happens to them? The Deviant warlord Kro points towards a structure emitting flame, like a gigantic oven (Kirby, p. 139). Kirby also makes reference to “Purity Time” as a “solution.” As in “the Final Solution”?

Lately much attention has been given to the role of Jewish-Americans, including Kirby, in creating and developing the superhero genre. (For example, Danny Fingeroth’s new book on the subject, Disguised as Clark Kent: Jews, Comics, and the Creation of the Superhero, will soon be available in bookstores.) On rereading the Kirby Eternals series, it’s obvious to me that “Purity Time” was inspired by the Holocaust.

Hence, it was a serious mistake when the second Eternals series purported that “Purity Time” did not execute “unwanted” Deviants after all. Instead, it contended that the Deviant priesthood placed the supposedly condemned into suspended animation, so that they could eventually serve as the priesthood’s private army. The people responsible for this reinterpretation of “Purity Time” didn’t understand Kirby’s Holocaust imagery at all.

So, if we follow Kirby’s original vision of “Purity Time,” arguably the Deviants, through their fanatical obsession with genetic “purity,” have ended up self-destructively restricting the size of their own population.

Later in Gaiman’s series, after Druig takes over the government of a former Soviet republic and causes the brutal murders of numerous people, the narration informs us that “Tomorrow they will announce that atrocities have been committed by. . who? Gypsies, perhaps, or homosexuals or Slavs. And he will have them rounded up. And it will be necessary to bring back the secret police. And without knowing why, he feels like this is a return to the good old days, the very old days” (Gaiman issue 5, p. 13). So perhaps Neil Gaiman did spot the Holocaust imagery in Kirby’s Eternals, and this is his own allusion to it.

Elsewhere in the Kirby series, the Eternals and human guests Margo Damian and Sam Holden form a group “Uni-Mind” by plunging into what appears to be a gigantic flame. Sersi tells Sam, “That flame is life, not death! It is life as you have never known it before!” (Kirby p. 212). This is another variation on the familiar death and rebirth motif, with the Uni-Mind serving as a kind of afterlife, a higher spiritual state beyond mortal existence. But it also strikes me now that the Uni-Mind “flame” is the opposite of the flame that rises from the “Purity Time” oven. As Kirby intended it, the fires of “Purity Time” bring annihilation, but the “flame” of the Uni-Mind brings a higher, transcendent form of life.

Curry asks Ikaris if Eternals could “interbreed with humans,” and Ikaris replies, “I guess so” (Gaiman issue 1 p. 35). At this point Ikaris is unable to recall that long ago he had a human son, also named Ikaris, for whom he built a flying device. After the younger Ikaris fell from the sky to his death, inspiring the myth of Icarus [sic], his father took the name “Ikaris” in his honor. (See Eternals Vol. 2 #5, February 1986, and here.) Curry points out that Ikaris claims that Eternals can also breed among themselves.

So, Curry asks, why are there still only a hundred Eternals? With their genetic immunity to illness and death, why hasn’t the Eternal population risen into the billions? Through interbreeding, Curry points out, “we’d all be Eternals now.”

This is another question that Gaiman raises without answering. In the original series Kirby wrote that “The Eternals bred few in number” (Kirby p. 11). Perhaps this suggests that it is quite rare for a mating between Eternals to produce Eternal offspring. It also appears, from such examples as Ikaris’s son in Eternals Vol. 2 and Thena’s son in the Gaiman series, that when Eternals interbreed with normal humans, their offspring are normal humans. My hypothesis is that this is all a result of the Celestials’ “intelligent design” of the Eternals. The Celestials did not want the Eternals to dominate Earth, and so they genetically designed the Eternals to prevent their numbers from rising significantly.

Curry accepts the fact that Ikaris is a superhuman; he simply does not accept Ikaris’s explanation for his powers: “If Spider-Man told me that he got his spider-powers from reading Chariots of the Gods, I guess I’d figure he was full of it too” (Gaiman issue 1 p. 35). Obviously Mark Curry is unaware of J. Michael Straczynski’s recent stories in Amazing Spider-Man asserting that Spider-Man’s powers are in part mystical in origin, and that he is the “totem” of a spider-like force.

This Curry-Ikaris scene serves as a transition into a section of the first issue in which Gaiman begins exploring what makes the Eternals different from the many superheroes who populate Marvel-Earth. One of the differences appears to be that, despite Straczynski, most superheroes’ powers are rooted in science; therefore Curry, a man of science, can believe in them. But the Eternals origins have religious overtones, since they claim to have been created by “space gods.”

We next see Ikaris in his hospital bed watching another of the seemingly dreadful American TV shows that Gaiman has devised for this series: America’s Next Super Hero (Gaiman issue 1 p. 36). I wonder if Neil Gaiman knew about Stan Lee’s reality TV series Who Wants to Be a Superhero? when he started work on this Eternals series. (Neil’s show has a “super hero house” a la Big Brother, whereas in Stan’s, the hero wannabes room together in their secret “lair.”) I rather like Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, which is not only entertainingly kitschy, but also, surprisingly, enforces moral standards for superhero conduct that contemporary comics often ignore (see “Comics in Context” #142).

Then again, the New Warriors, one of Marvel’s superhero teams, was appearing on a reality TV series at the time of the disaster which led to the events of Marvel’s Civil War series. Before that, Marvel’s new X-Force team, later renamed X-Statix, were primarily out to become rich and famous media celebrities, relegating fighting crime and saving innocents to secondary importance.

There should be an inspirational majesty to the superhero concept: the idea of a human being who achieves godlike status. I wonder if Gaiman is suggesting that the image of conventional superheroes is being overwhelmed by their status as commercial properties. So here are the contestants for America’s Next Super Hero–Tantrum, ZeeBee, Trucker, and others–who aren’t following the traditional origin path of going out of their own to battle evildoers, but are competing against each other on a tacky TV show. Janet Van Dyne, alias the Wasp, flies in to make an appearance. (So Stan presides over Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, and Jan appears on America’s Next Super Hero. Stan and Jan. Hmm.) Then we see Mister Fantastic doing a Public Service Announcement on behalf of reading. lowering himself with a kitschy catchphrase (“It’s fantastic!”). However, the contestants rave with praise not over these classic Marvel superheroes, but over Sprite, who, as far as they know, is only a TV star for “˜tweens. They’d rather be TV celebrities than champions of justice. Trucker says, “I am now officially the coolest kid in my school” because he’s going to meet Sprite. Shouldn’t he be more impressed that he’s working with a co-founder of the Avengers? Mind you, she seems to have sold out by appearing on this show.

(However, I like the fact that Mr. Fantastic is holding up a copy of Gulliver’s Travels, which is arguably a forebear of science fiction novels. According to Alan Moore’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, the book’s title character, Lemuel Gulliver, is an early member of the League, making him a forerunner of today’s superheroes.)

In the interview in the back of the hardcover collection of his Eternals, Neil Gaiman says, “You know, you’ve got the sort of “˜Marvel Civil Warry’ stuff going on in the background, in a way that I hope won’t bug anybody who has no idea what this is but will actually be kind of fun for anybody who does.” Well, I know what this “Civil Warry” stuff is, and I’m bugged. I am no fan of Civil War and its repercussions, and I should think that Gaiman’s many readers who are not superhero fans might indeed be puzzled by his references to Civil War in Eternals. Aren’t superheroes traditionally supposed to act on their own or in small teams? So what’s all this about government registration of superheroes?

Indeed, I contend that the superhero is a metaphor for the freedom, power and potential for greatness within the individual. Clark Kent and Peter Parker are nobodies, swallowed up by contemporary urban society, who assert themselves as individuals by shifting into their superheroic identities. By the end of Civil War Marvel’s superheroes are instead forced into the roles of government servants.

I would like to think that decades from now, Neil Gaiman’s Eternals, as well as Sandman and 1602 and his other works in comics, will still be in print, whereas Civil War, like virtually every other Marvel and DC company-wide crossover series event, will have faded into obscurity. Decades hence new readers of the Gaiman Eternals may well need footnotes to explain the Civil War references.

So why did Gaiman put the Civil War references in Eternals? Did Marvel urge him to put them in, just as back in the 1970s Marvel allegedly pushed Kirby into putting Marvel Universe references into his Eternals?

In Gaiman’s case, though, I tend to think that if he worked Civil War connections into Eternals, he did so for thematic purposes.

In the episode of America’s Next Super Hero that is excerpted in this first issue, Jan tells a contestant, “You see, Grace, when you’re a government-registered super hero, you’ll need to record public service announcements, like this one,” whereupon we see Mr. Fantastic in his aforementioned PSA (Gaiman issue 1, pgs. 36-37). Some readers may recall when government registration of mutants was considered a Bad Thing in Marvel stories, a first step towards the dystopian “Days of Future Past.” How interesting that Jan says that once Grace has registered with the government, she will “need” to do public service announcements. One might have thought that recording PSAs was done on a volunteer basis. Just what else does the government require registered superheroes to do? (Hint: consult Avengers: The Initiative.)

Then, with her characteristically cheerful demeanor, Jan tells the contestants they are off to visit the set of It’s Just So Sprite, “where the lucky winner of today’s hero trial is going to record a PSA about getting registered” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 37). Oh, Jan, I always thought of you as an irreverent free spirit, not a smiling propagandist. And that phrase “hero trial” seems disconcertingly ominous.

Soon afterwards we see Sprite himself on television with Orlando, an America’s Next Super Hero contestant. Sprite is secretly an Eternal, so, like other Eternals, he should be a “protector of the Earth.” But, as we shall see, he has devoted his life to becoming a celebrity instead. On television Sprite reels off his show biz credits, and tells us, “I’m not a super hero. If I were, I’d get registered,” just like Orlando here (Gaiman issue 1, p. 38). So Sprite is a willing propagandist for the government as well.

To reinforce the point, Gaiman has Orlando tell us, “It’s just so Sprite. If you’re gonna be a super hero, get registered” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 37). Gaiman thus links the Civil War superhero registration program to Sprite and the mind-numbing mediocrity of his TV show. By linking the registration program to Sprite, Gaiman also links it to Sprite’s sinister agenda, which is later to be revealed.

The TV show excerpt ends with a close-up on Orlando as he concludes about superhero registration, “It’s not just a good idea. It’s the law” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 37), which carries an implicit threat. This is a rather different slogan for a superhero than “With great power must come great responsibility,” isn’t it? And isn’t there something odd about Orlando’s wide-eyed look in that closing panel, a hint of innocent fanaticism, perhaps?

Come to think of it, doesn’t the fact that the government is putting PSAs about superhero registration on television imply that there must be an awful lot of superhumans out there? Is Gaiman suggesting that perhaps the Marvel Universe has too many super-people? Maybe the limited number of Eternals is another factor that sets them apart from other Marvel superheroes.

Ikaris tells Curry, “There are so many mysteries to solve, and I need you by my side” (Gaiman issue 1 p. 39). At this point Ikaris reminded me of Fox Mulder in The X-Files, a man who believes in and investigates the paranormal but is considered by many to be delusional. Maybe that’s one reason why Gaiman put in a reference to Roswell earlier on (Gaiman issue 1 p. 34). And hey, Mulder’s partner was Dana Scully, a medical doctor, and Mark Curry is a medical student.

But Curry instead injects Ikaris with a sedative to put him to sleep; perhaps Curry was also motivated, consciously or unconsciously, to keep him from talking any further. Considering Ikaris’s high level of “durability,” as The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe puts it, I’m surprised that a hypodermic needle could penetrate his thick skin. And wouldn’t it take a dose of sedative that was far higher than normal to knock Ikaris unconscious? (Think of the various past stories in which someone uses knockout gas on the Hulk and says that it’s a dose sufficient to put something like a herd of elephants to sleep.)

Gaiman will establish that Ikaris’s Eternal powers still aren’t back to full working order at this point. Nonetheless, the issue ends with two Deviants, whose names are later established as Morjak and Gelt, returning to capture Ikaris, and in issue two, Ikaris seems pretty damn resistant to the physical tortures they put him through.

Issue two is titled “Identity Crisis,” which is an obvious reference to Mark Curry’s questioning of his own identity, which reaches the crisis point when armed men who invade a party at the Vorozheikan embassy attempt to kill him. I wonder if it may also be an allusion to DC’s Identity Crisis series, which also concerned characters who lost and regained their memories (see “Comics in Context” #57, 58, 63, 67).

By the way, here’s something that I discovered when I was researching my forthcoming book, The Marvel Travel Guide to New York. Countries usually situate their official embassies in the capitals of other nations. Their official outposts in other cities are known as consulates. Hence, what Marvel calls the Latverian, Symkarian and Wakandan embassies in New York City (for the respective nations of Doctor Doom, Silver Sable, and the Black Panther) are really consulates. And the “Vorozheikan embassy” in New York City in Gaiman’s Eternals is probably a consulate, too.

Not responding to the Campbellian “call to adventure” always has bad repercussions. In issue 2 we learn that Mark Curry has not just refused to heed the “call” but has gone so far as to turn the “herald” who issued the “call,” Ikaris alias “Ike Harris,” over to two men who, as Curry’s superior points out, only “claimed to be doctors” (Gaiman issue 2 p. 8). In actuality, they are Deviants who are busily experimenting in efforts to kill their allegedly unkillable captive Ikaris. Curry’s active rejection of the “call” has imperiled Ikaris.

Ikaris desperately sends another “call,” a telepathic call for help, to Curry, calling him “Makkari,” but Curry fails to respond. This time his refusal to heed the call is immediately followed by catastrophe for himself: Curry’s superior tells him he is “suspended from working here,” and that a policeman “wishes to talk to you” about Harris’s disappearance from the hospital. (Gaiman issue 2 p. 8). In plainer words, the police suspect Curry is involved in the illegal abduction of Ike Harris (and, in a sense, they are correct) and intend to interrogate him. Already in a low position at this start of his “hero’s journey,” Curry has descended to an even lower one.

This issue contains many Campbellian “calls.” There is Ikaris’s telepathic call for help. Another “call” comes through his chance encounter with Sersi, another Eternal who is unaware of her Eternal identity. They are immediately attracted to each other, and we shall learn later that, in their Eternal identities, they are former lovers. Perhaps part of their attraction to each other now is that they subconsciously remember each other: “I feel like I’ve known you forever,” Sersi tells him (Gaiman issue 2 p. 5). She also says that she wishes she could invite him to the party she is organizing at the Vorozheikan embassy; not having been suspended yet, Mark responds that the hospital probably wouldn’t give him the night off. So here’s Sersi wanting to “call” Mark to a party–and to romance, and perhaps subconsciously to a connection to a fellow Eternal–and deciding that she can’t, and Mark, who seems a rather passive fellow, not seeming all that disappointed about it.

After Curry is suspended, Gaiman provides us with a major revelation: Mark has been refusing another “herald’s” “call to adventure”: his own. Curry had been dreaming about Ikaris, the Deviants and the Celestials “before I’d ever met him” (Gaiman issue 2, p. 9). Curry is so far into denial that “I wanted to think that I was going crazy” (Gaiman issue 2, p. 9) rather than accept the truth about his origins. Makkari is the counterpart of Mercury, messenger of the gods, and here we see that Makkari’s subconscious self is acting as messenger to “Mark Curry.” Of course it is right that Mark dreams of his higher potential, as do we all. It is also appropriate to find Neil Gaiman, auteur of Sandman, utilizing dreams once again as a motif.

Right after Mark says he would prefer to be “crazy” rather than accept the call of his dreams, Sersi’s friend Abigail tells her she is “crazy not to” invite Mark to the party (or, if you prefer, issue her call to romantic adventure to him) (Gaiman issue 2 p. 10). Abigail argues that this could be Sersi’s “only chance” to “impress” Curry. This reinforces the idea of the importance of accepting the “call” when it occurs. lest the opportunity never again present itself. (Mark/Makkari is fortunate in that he keeps getting “calls” to return to his true identity, rather like those innumerable invitations to attend Hogwarts that owls keep delivering to Harry Potter until the Dursleys finally give in).

Sersi tells Abigail that there will be some superheroes attending her party, namely “the kids from America’s Next Super Hero“; Abigail disapprovingly comments, “That’s kinda C-list. Any word from Julia Roberts?” (Gaiman issue 2 p. 10). Notice that Sersi and Abigail are discussing superheroes as if they were simply celebrities, not heroic champions or godlike figures. Abigail talks as if Captain America and Julia Roberts were interchangeable. It’s as if Spider-Man were no different than Tobey Maguire.

As Sersi and Abigail chat, they ignore another “herald,” an apparently insane homeless man who shouts, “They took it all away!” Longtime Eternals aficionados should realize from the man’s red beard that he is Zuras, monarch of the Eternals and counterpart of Zeus. “They took it all away!” is his mad reference to what happened to the Eternals, and his cry of “All one!” may be a reference to the Eternals’ Uni-Mind. But Sersi, lacking her memories of being an Eternal, cannot understand Zuras’s message.

Reducing a powerful being into a homeless, amnesiac derelict is a familiar trope in Marvel history”: it has happened to the Ancient One, to Odin (I think), and most famously to the Sub-Mariner in Fantastic Four #4 (May, 1962).

Eternals aficionados should be surprised to see Zuras, since he was killed in combat with the Fourth Host in Thor #300 (even though Gaiman’s series contends that the Eternals are mentally programmed not to fight Celestials); Zuras’s spirit departed from his body in Iron Man Annual #6. However, I always thought that killing off Zuras was a mistake, so I am pleased to see him back. (In general, killing off characters created by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, or any combination thereof, is usually a bad idea. Most such characters have too much potential for further stories.)

Usually I expect that when a writer resurrects a supposedly deceased character in the superhero genre, he or she will explain how the character survived. Later in this Eternals series Gaiman does reveal how an Eternal can literally be resurrected, and in issue four Sprite indicates that Zuras, as well as Ajak, who was killed off in The Eternals: The Herod Factor (1991), went through this same “reactivation” process.

Sersi and Mark Curry turn out not to be hopelessly stuck in their respective ruts: she invites him to the Vorozheikan party, and he accepts.

But then Mark receives the most disturbing of his “calls”: a vision of Ikaris tormented by flames, pleading telepathically for his help. Like the Apostle Peter denying Christ, Curry rejects the call yet again. His face set in anger, and even cruelty, Curry demands that Ikaris “Get out of my head!” (Gaiman issue 2, p. 12).

Mark Curry has now gone too far, and soon it is he will be in dire need of help. Rejecting the call will once more be followed by serious consequences, as we shall see next week.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF

I haven’t done one of these sections for awhile, but I’ve continued to do writing for Publishers Weekly‘s online newsletter Comics Week. You can find my interview with David Michaelis, author of the psychologically penetrating biography Schulz and Peanuts, to be published in October, here, and my review of R. C. Harvey’s Meanwhile. . . , a lengthy and extensively researched biography of Milton Caniff, creator of the classic comic strips Terry and the Pirates and Steve Canyon, here.

Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/1/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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