KP: Just as an actor portraying a character, what kind of different colors would you like to see the good doctor go through in the future?
URBANIAK: Gee, I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it. Whatever they throw at me is good. Sometimes I think about what… I mean, I don’t have anything to do with writing the show. Occasionally there’ll be an ad lib that’s… they’ll say, “If you want to throw something in here.” I was watching yesterday, and at the very end someone says “Go with God.” And I thought, was that mine? Did they say, “Say different things” and… I’m not sure. It may well not have been. Jackson, let me know if I came up with that or if that was in the original script. I’m not saying it wasn’t, it probably was. Sometimes there’ll be a little salutation like that and they’ll say, “Well, try a couple different little things.”
KP: Just so you can feel better, I have the script in front of me.
URBANIAK: Good lord. The original script, which was not called “Love Bheits,” but was called “Ãœnderbheit 451.” But that was too much like Nanny 911, so they changed it. You do have “Ãœnderbheit 451” in front of you?
KP: Yes.
URBANIAK: Alright, tell me how it ends. Does it say something other than “Go with God?”
KP: Yes. It says, “Goodbye Ventures, Godspeed.”
URBANIAK: “God speed.” So I may be right!
KP: You may be right.
URBANIAK: I may have written “Go with God.”
KP: Yes.
URBANIAK: Very exciting. I was the only one watching it, and suddenly a little thing went off and I went, “I think that was an ad lib! And they used it!”
KP: I’ve made a very tiny portion of your night.
URBANIAK: Yeah. Although it’s possible Doc Hammer came up with it and I’m just remembering wrong.
KP: Well he’s not here to refute it, so…
URBANIAK: No, I think we can officially say that I think I came up with “Go with God,” which I think is actually very funny. It’s better than “Godspeed.”
KP: See, now you’re getting on delicate territory.
URBANIAK: Yes. I want an additional dialogue credit for the DVD. Boldfaced.
KP: Maybe you guys can do some commentaries on this next DVD set.
URBANIAK: I would love to do a commentary. You know, they had a very low budget for that DVD. It’s almost like they couldn’t do that many commentaries because the DVD couldn’t hold that much information. I love the commentaries, and I’d love to do one.
KP: Was it Jackson or Doc was mentioning that you felt bad that you were left off the holiday things for the past two years.
URBANIAK: Oh, I would love to do a song. Yes, I’ve been very jealous to do a holiday song. They’re hilarious.
KP: I’m sure they put the blame on me for forcing them to do them.
URBANIAK: Well, I know. I’ve heard them gripe about them. They’re brilliant and the fans love them and hey, I think Dr. Venture should do a song. An 80s ballad.
KP: Well you know what the idea is for this year?
URBANIAK: What?
KP: (INTERVIEWER’S NOTE: That would be telling!!)
URBANIAK: Yeah, I’ve heard Jackson mention that. Well, I’m there. I would love to… yeah. Dr. Venture singing would be a very exciting thing.
KP: What would be his natural key?
URBANIAK: I haven’t even thought, but now and then I’ll be outside… I was getting a hot dog one day and they were playing the radio in the hot dog stand. It was some 80s ballad and I thought, “Dr. Venture could sing this song, it’d be so great.” Now when I hear a song I think, “That would be a great Dr. Venture cover.”
KP: You need to make a notation of these things.
URBANIAK: Hold on one second. Okay. There was one in particular that I felt would be great. For some reason, it’s just the idea of Dr. Venture doing some sort of 80s love ballad. I really like that idea.
KP: I can see him doing something like “Rio.”
URBANIAK: Yeah. Well, I think Jackson once mentioned the idea of doing “Hungry Like the Wolf,” which isn’t a bad idea. Well, actually, I remember the song – it was… I heard recently, and it was that old, “I Fooled Around and Fell In Love.” You remember that one?
KP: Yes!
URBANIAK: Something about Dr. Venture singing that really appealed to me. “Fooled around and…” Again, I do a very bad Dr. Venture imitation. It won’t sound right now.
KP: No, but on the day…
URBANIAK: “Fooled around and fell…” It’s got that nice beat in it… “I fooled around and fell… in love!”
KP: I can also see him doing something like “Break My Stride.”
URBANIAK: (laughing) “Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride!” You know, just over-enunciating. That’s basically the joke.
KP: Yes. Some kind of wonderful jaunty number that.
URBANIAK: “Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride… take us up to where we belong… where the eagle flies…”
KP: Something tells me they would probably steal that for The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend…
URBANIAK: Oh my god, when they made that drummer boy thing, I would laugh like a school girl. I was giddy as a school girl. I played that thing over and over again. Cracking up every time. Every time it was comedy gold. It never got old. It still doesn’t get old.
KP: The hatred I got from them over that from them, going, “Ken Plume, what the hell are you doing to us?”
URBANIAK: Oh, it was a great idea.
KP: “I haven’t got enough work! I want to paint, Ken Plume!”
URBANIAK: Yes, “I’m an artist!”
KP: Doc is always real keen on using the full name to show when he’s flustered and frazzled at a person.
URBANIAK: Yeah, “I gotta paint!”
KP: “Gotta paint, Ken Plume!” But seriously, he’s one of the most amazingly gifted, frighteningly versatile artists I’ve ever encountered, in so many disciplines.
URBANIAK: Do it all… Why not?
KP: So this year, that’s what they were looking at.
URBANIAK: You should hear Picasso’s novelty records, they’re hilarious.
KP: I hear they’re very Spike Jones-like.
URBANIAK: Yeah.
KP: He really loved that slide whistle.
URBANIAK: That’s right.
KP: Which I’m not really surprised at. Dali’s novelty records – sheer boredom.
URBANIAK: Not as good.
KP: There’s a lot of lute.
URBANIAK: Well, the record didn’t have a hole in it, for one thing. It was a whole concept, so no one could play it.
KP: And none of the instruments were actually stringed.
URBANIAK: Yeah. Oh, what can you do?
KP: Just think – one day, you could do a live action Venture movie…
URBANIAK: Yeah. See, the fascinating thing about the show is that I kinda look like Dr. Venture. I mean, I’ve got all my hair. I wear glasses and I’m tall and thin, and I “talk like this.” I think Sinterniklaas kinda looks like Dean, and Chris kinda looks like Hank.
KP: Oh, it’s frightening.
URBANIAK: Steve Rattazzi does not look anything like Orpheus, though.
KP: I think he could pull it off.
URBANIAK: He could pull it off, although he’s a short fella.
KP: Yeah, but that’s all camera angles.
URBANIAK: He’s not a looming man like Orpheus. Rattazzi doesn’t loom. Now and then on the blogs they say, “Who should be in the movie?” I’m always offended when they say, “David Hyde Pierce,” or “David Cross.” Now, those are both fine gentlemen, but come on! I should play Dr. Venture. Not that I don’t like the Davids, but come on! And now and then someone will write in and say, “Well, James Urbaniak should really do it…” Thank you!
KP: Obviously you can’t have Michael or Chris, just because of the age difference.
URBANIAK: Far, far too old.
KP: Yeah. Although Chris did an excellent as The Monarch on the DVD set…
URBANIAK: We all got to do that on the first season DVD…
KP: Which was incredibly disturbing.
URBANIAK: It was very odd. Actually, I was quite pleased with that, and the whole thing I know was kind of a tough shoot for the guys. It was kind of thrown together and I know they had some trouble just technically, doing it that day. And I was out of town. I’d just flown back, like, the night before. So I was totally jet lagged. And I was actually in Europe. I’d just come back from shooting Fay Grim. I was beat, so I was amazed at how funny it was. All of us just felt really out of it. That was the thing. And afterwards, I remember Jackson like going, “God, that was a disaster.” You know, like we just all thought it kinda didn’t come together, but Doc put it together and there was enough… The thing is, you just remember the moments where you’re improvising and you’re going, “uhh,” and the camera’s rolling, but we don’t put those on the tape! (laughing) We only put the funny stuff on.
KP: I think the most brilliant moment was you receiving direction from them.
URBANIAK: That was really hilarious. And there’s actually a moment there where Chris screams at me, and if you look at it, you see me react like Dr. Venture. I kind of hunch my shoulders or something like I’m very upset. I’m actually trying to keep from laughing, is what’s happening. When I saw it I was actually relieved that you don’t see me break a smile, but I actually was practically biting my tongue because when he yelled at me, I almost lost it. And you can actually see me kind of hunch my shoulders or something. Do something with my face. It just looks like I’m upset, but I’m actually trying not to laugh. So that was hilarious, yeah. That was really fun. So improvised.
KP: There are 15 more hours of footage from that shoot.
URBANIAK: Well, the rest of it probably isn’t very good. That’s all the good stuff there was.
KP: Now, you gotta find a way to top that.
URBANIAK: Yes. Maybe I can get a better bald cap. That was also like the worst bald cap ever. It was like a bald cap that was like a dime store bald cap.
KP: Yes, it was a novelty bald cap.
URBANIAK: Really. It was like from Spencer’s Gifts, that bald cap. That was not a professional TV bald cap. But you know, it’s just…
KP: I think it worked for what it was.
URBANIAK: Absolutely. I remember once…there’s a great quote from Bob Odenkirk, who was talking about Mr. Show versus Saturday Night Live, and he was saying when he worked on SNL – it was in the early 90s, and a big budget – they’d dress someone up to look like some guy, and they’d have these incredibly professional makeup people and he’d really look like the guy. And Odenkirk would be like, “Yeah, but it’s sketch comedy.” Like, on Mr. Show, they would just have like cheap wigs. I remember Odenkirk saying, Well, sketch comedy’s mostly about dicking around.”
KP: It should be the comedy that’s the key…
URBANIAK: Yeah, and part of the comedy can actually be, “Hey, we’re just throwing these dumb secondhand wigs on and pretending to be people and trying to be funny. Why do we need realistic wigs for a sketch? It kinda doesn’t make any sense.” Although I think I could have had a better bald cap. That said, they could have sprung for a real bald cap. Instead of going to Spencer’s Gifts.
KP: Put that in your season three rider. A better bald cap.
URBANIAK: A better bald cap.
KP: “Or I’m not showing up.” See, what people don’t realize is that you actually do every recording in that bald cap.
URBANIAK: Yeah.
KP: I can think of no better time to wrap things up between us…
URBANIAK: Well, thanks. I appreciate it.
KP: And I do as well.
URBANIAK: I hope you’ve got enough. Cut away. Just use the good stuff I said.
KP: You know what? There’ll be no cuts, because there is no chaff.
URBANIAK: Are you sure? My hour long story about doing a play in fourth grade?
KP: No no, that has to be preserved. How many times has that been in print?
URBANIAK: You’ll be the first.
KP: See? So, there has to be one for posterity.
URBANIAK: You asked.
KP: I did ask. And by your wife’s reaction I probably shouldn’t have.
URBANIAK: She’s heard me tell that story many times, so she’s sitting in the corner rolling her eyes.
KP: What’s good is, now you don’t have to. You can just point people to the interview.
URBANIAK: And David Briman, the guy I was in the play with, I’ll be giving a shout out to. Actually one of the guys, I mentioned his name, he’s one of the few guys from that time that I’m in occasional touch with.
KP: And please, if you ever write a children’s book, please promise me you’ll call it “Mark, The Kid With a Sty In His Eye.”
URBANIAK: Yes!
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