This week marks the end of the Oscar season. Really, thank goodness. I can, and I am sure there are some of you out there as well, who can only take so much of your local newspaper or TV movie critic saying he knows who will win what and that if you log-on right now you can enter to “beat the critic” and win totchkes like an AVIATOR T-Shirt or a MILLION DOLLAR BABY jock, signed by Morgan Freeman, of course…

If movies are like great books come to life, then trailers are like unique short stories. Usually I reserve this space for raging or spewing whatever it is I’m pondering about movies…

Yeah. It’s like that one part of REVENGE OF THE NERDS when Gilbert and Louis tell their fellow gym dwellers that they’ve found a place to live. Everyone cheers while Booger just lets everyone know, in one of the best movie moments I can think of, “It’s about fuckin’ time!”

It just has to be karma when for every ARE WE THERE YETs that seriously make everyone wonder what in hell people were thinking there are equalizers like ALONE IN THE DARK that make you think, yeah, there is comic justice in this world…

Sooooo… I thought perhaps a note or two would’ve been forthcoming. I wasn’t expecting bells to go off like I was some big winner of a free turkey but, damn, not one inch of text saying “Yay! You made it an entire year! Now, can you tell me who did the music at the end of the trailer for THE WEATHERMAN?” For the record, it was Iggy Pop, not Lou Reed and I’ll die defending that assertion…

First of all, I sucked at trying to pick who was going to win any Golden Globes. I’m really not one of those kind of people, the Michael Musto’s of the world, who think its kitsch to throw award parties. No, I just yelled out right beforehand who I thought really deserved a prize…

So there I was in the Disney store at my local mall. It was last week so we’re not really talking about a great deal of time. I was standing among racks of stuffed turquoise bears and little orange fishes when the display rack of THE INCREDIBLES action figures caught my eye…

I know what I wanted to do weeks ago was to give some extra time to FILMIC ACHIEVEMENT…

Yeah, I love TRADING PLACES a little too much…

I still love BETTER OFF DEAD in ways I know aren’t healthy. This will probably be the least read of all my Trailer Park columns, seeing how this is Christmas Eve when you all will read this in the US. Abroad, however, I haven’t a clue what people celebrate. I have been so ingrained with the notion that Hallmark invented Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day and a handful of other manufactured “holidays” that I have lost any sense of the rest of the world around me…

I made a little fun of Mark McGrath last week. I kidded, I joked, I called him out on his “cred” as a rock star who now unnervingly gets all giddy now talking about who is walking down the red carpet wearing Vera Wang or Armani. Hey, I was readily admitting I’d whore myself out to the networks, too, as the skinny nerd they go to every now and then to critique trailers in order to get a little dough; I have no compunction with publicly saying that…

Is that that time already? It has almost been a year since I stepped into this role of trailer reviewer and, believe me, it’s no false modesty on my part as it is a lack of competition, but I am one of the only mo-fos out there who really has spent a copious amount of time on trailers this year…

Does HERO need one that bad?

Sorry, I can’t wait that long. That Special Edition DVD release of SPIDER-MAN 2 will just have to be bought on Tuesday. I know those marketing people are only doing their jobs in releasing the movie so close to Christmas, or Kwanzaa, or Hanukkah, or Happy Satanist Day, or whatever the hell you do or don’t celebrate, but that collector’s edition box just sitting on the shelf come November 30th, just wanting someone to take it home, calls out to my milk money like a siren’s voice and draws it ever closer to the register.

There isn’t a whole lot happening this week so I’ll be brief: I’m happy that THE INCREDIBLES has some staying power against THE POLAR EXPRESS…

It’s the second week of November and it’s about damn time Lucas showed up with the trailer for STAR WARS: ATTACK TO YOUR POCKETBOOK. In all fairness to the guy, and to show how smart he really is, I added a little bit to his coffers when I bought a REVENGE OF THE SITH T-shirt when I was at the Comic-Con this past July in San Diego…

I’m waiting for something interesting. This week was filled with finding just a few trailer gems hit the ‘net but I have yet to see one that really looks like it could garner some attention come next award season. However, I’ve heard some people really chatting it up for Jamie Foxx in RAY, a movie whose trailer is really cut well, but outside of that, nothing much…

As I was thinking about what to write in this week’s column I immediately thought of DAWN OF THE DEAD. This film finally has been released to the masses and still sits atop my five best films I’ve seen this year and holds a dear top slot in my year’s best trailers. I was going to pimp, for free of charge to anyone who would listen, this film and tell every fanatic of this genre to go out and get this DVD…

Pete Jones. The name conjures up reality TV fame for some, a “oh, where have I heard that name before?” from a couple more and a “huh?” from others, but the man will be henceforth known for his own independent, sophomore effort, OUTING RILEY.

The level of din created in the last few weeks by the release of the Special Edition DVDs of George Lucas’s STAR WARS original trilogy was enough to send nerds running up the basement steps to give everyone who will listen a piece of their mind…

It’s been 17 years since the demise of SILVER SPOONS, a good decade plus since his stint on LONESOME DOVE and three years have passed from the last time you’ve seen him on NYPD BLUE. Rick Schroder is far more than the sum of his acting, however. While most stars of Hollywood yearn and pine for their opportunity to direct or produce their own films, usually making these aspirations known at the first opportunity when success finally is bestowed on them, Rick has patiently waited twenty five years to finally take an idea and put it on the screen.

This week I spend some time getting to know a animation artist who has taken great pleasure in exploiting the elderly while, next week, I talk exclusively with Rick Schroder about his struggles and joys in getting his independent movie off the ground. You’ll be surprised what happens when he goes knocking on Hollywood’s door to make his first film. His insights into the movie making process and the battles to get it done DIY style are nothing short of inspirational…

As I sat there in the chair, ready to slit my wrists on a lease agreement, the salesman has the blind audacity to ask one more time: “Are you sure you don’t want that clear coat?”

Ok, I’m about to show you the footage I’ve done for SIN CITY but I must warn you that if I see any of you doing tape recording of any kind, and I have no-neck ex-wrestlers from the Guadalajara province who have been given the green light to trash any of you nerds out there with their jackboots, I am going to take my footage and go back to my very posh hotel room and burn some 20s in my bathroom sink for fun…

Hey all, there’s a backlog of some reader mail I’d like to get printed so I’ll do a little this week by getting through some of the better highlights of weeks past…