Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Cate Blanchett, Kate Beckinsale, Gwen Stefani, Adam Scott
Release: December 25, 2004
Synopsis: A biopic depicting the early years of legendary director and aviator Howard Hughes’ career, from the late 1920’s to the mid-1940’s.

Prognosis: Positive. I received an interesting email a while ago.

Someone asked if I had reviewed the AVIATOR trailer since it was about to go wide in theaters soon. I wrote back letting this person know that, yeah, I looked at almost six months ago when it was just starting to get noticed as a holiday movie. I also commented that I thought that Gwen Stefani yanked me straight back to reality when I saw her preening little mug as she walked down the red carpet with Leo; I didn’t know if it was supposed to be a movie or a clip from her new video. He wrote back and wanted to know if I would give the new trailer a look because the new one did away with trying to showcase her as being in it. I was down to compare and contrast, an activity that most likely sends chills up the spine for anyone who struggled with English 101 or 102, and see if in fact things had improved. I don’t usually get these kinds of requests but I decided since the movie was looking to be an Oscar contender this year and since it looks a lot better than the FAT ALBERT tripe that will be vying for Christmas dollars this weekend I had to do anything I could to make sure no one gets the bright idea to ever turn a great cartoon into a worse-yet farce of a film.

I could’ve just B.S.’d here and say, “yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s great, it’s wicked…” but I’m serious when I say that his new version of the trailer meshes big budget with big concept in a way that excites me. True, there’s no flaming arrows, but for some odd hetero reason I am oddly pulled in by Leo’s charming tractor beam. I was a fairly big fan of CATCH ME IF YOU CAN but nothing quite that matches to the star wattage the man exudes in this new trailer.

Here’s what I like about the new trailer:

The thing begins with a nice buildup to who this movie is all about. Howard Hughes was a man obsessed, in more ways than one, with flying and we immediately get that with this new trailer. The old trailer was nearly identical in focusing on Howard but we lose focus on the flying aspect and get pushed into the many different ways he was a womanizer and player. Then, in the old trailer, Hughes says how he wants to build a plane that is able to reach heights never before imagined in commercial aviation. By the time this plotline is put out there and developed the old trailer has already wasted its time with shoving too many discordant ideas that don’t inform the essence of the film.

The new trailer dispenses with trying to wear so many hats so quickly.

The same thoughts are put out there but in a series that makes sense to us, the valued audience. First he has his grand idea for planes, then he puts his idea in action, and, lastly, and only then, does the poon hunt begin. Gwen Stefani, I am happy to report, is merely a blur in this new one. Two thumbs up for that, my friends. (What is her allure anyway? She looks like a lanky man-child cross-dresser who hasn’t quite mastered that whole femininity thing)

Additionally, the old trailer focuses heavily on the scandal surrounding Hughes. Mostly, it seems, it obsesses about the way he had many a dalliance with many a lady. The old trailer makes it seem like it’s a movie based on how Howard wanted to create this larger than life airplane but gets caught up in the tabloids. Ok, that’s fine if it wanted to sell it that way, but it doesn’t sound like the Oscar contender people said it was. In its defense there was, though, that awesome shot of the plane Leo’s flying of it ripping into the side of a building. That’s about it, though. It kind of game me a “Meh” kind of a feeling. The new trailer builds off the story but punches these things up in a way that can now get people excited.

Por ejemplo, the womanizing and the threat of scandal still exists in the second, more recent, trailer but it’s built upon to give Hughes more depth. We’re given more facets of who he is on the inside. In one instance we get a nice moment as he talks to Cate Blanchett. He tells her about how he thinks he gets ideas about things that “may not really be there.” Good! Now we’re cooking with gas. The man was slowly deteriorating, mentally, but the first trailer never gives us that. That’s the meat of the whole film because all you have, otherwise, is just a movie about a tycoon who had an obsession with planes and chased a lot of tail. If that was the case, and that’s all you needed to make an award worthy movie, then I’m first in line to buy the rights to Chuck Yeager’s life story. Howard Hughes had a great amount of money and, like some of the planes he flew, spun out of control with severe force. That’s the story.

One of the other nice touches to this trailer is one of the moments where, and all you regular watchers of Oprah saw this (God, I am sorry for ever mentioning that, but in my defense it was one of my wife’s saved TiVo shows and I snuck a peek), but in one scene he obsessively asks for blueprints. Asks for them. Asks for them again. And again. And again. And again. It’s a great scene and it’s not bold that it was put in here, it was absolutely needed in order to show how this man was afflicted by mental illness.

The last moments of this new trailer show a feeble Hughes (big fan of the moustache) trying to hold onto the reigns of reality but slowly losing the fight. The other scenes here champion this man’s wild younger days and I even get a treat in seeing the scene where Leo rips into the side of a building is still preserved.

This is what big budget should look like.

Director: Florent Emilio Siri
Cast: Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollak, Jonathan Tucker, Ben Foster, Jimmy Bennett
Release: March 11, 2005
Synopsis: Jeff Talley, a former LAPD hostage negotiator, has moved himself away from his failed career outside of Los Angeles, and away from his wife and daughter. When a convenience store robbery goes wrong in his turf, the three perpetrators move in on an unsuspecting family. But the family’s father has a secret which might compromise his kin, and one of the criminals is about to jump over the edge. Jeff Talley has to get everybody to survive the night……if he can.

Prognosis: Negative I’ll be one the first to publicly admit that I never thought that Bruce Willis was much of an actor, per se. Sure, he was an icon to me as a young child, a veritable laugh riot, in BLIND DATE and was a hero among men who had an entire genre built around the words “It’s like DIE HARD in a…” when he played John McClane.

He has, however, only had moments of greatness that seem to come in spurts. His acting was excellent in both 6TH SENSE and the criminally underrated UNBREAKABLE. Even 12 MONKEYS kept me glued to my chair. So what, then, does the future hold for him in his latest, HOSTAGE?

Not a whole lot of anything, actually.

Man, sometimes you just expect something to work better than an amalgam of THE NEGOTIATOR, PANIC ROOM and other hackneyed yarns that weave together in a most unflattering way but there’s a reason why this is all too terrible and allow me to break it down as to why that is.

Trailer starts off with a nice, soothing score.

Willis seems to be the head policeman in what is referred to as a “small town.” Nothing seems to happen in this “small town” but our po-po is hiding a big secret. Ooo…

We next see a very expensive looking crib, sitting on top a hill, looking down to other affluent homes in this sleepy little valley town. It is a fortress that has an array of security cameras. That doesn’t stop a group of thugs, here represented by the not too stereotypical dirtbags with greasy hair and a bad fashion sense, who are breaking into the place in the middle of the day.

Some things happen that prompt a cop to check and see if everything is alright, but of course the cop is popped, turning this into a major ordeal.

DIE HARD Flashback #1: Willis’ car is shot up as he tries to get to the home.

DIE HARD Flashback #2: The thugs lock the place down so no one can get in or out. Vault doors secure the exits, security bars cover the windows, etc…

After everyone pretty much knows that this is a bad situation Willis calls in everyone in the phone book listed under “Hostage Situation” in this “small town’s” yellow pages and I am amazed how quick these people are able to materialize. I guess Joe Bob and John Johnson who run the hardware store next to the deli that serves hot pie are also trained in SWAT and demolitions operations.

DIE HARD Flashback #3: The FBI comes in and one of Willis’ co-workers let him know that “they’re no longer in command here.” The FBI is.

Hmm…then the originality starts. It seems that another group of thugs waits for Willis to go back to his car so they can put a gun to Willis’ head and let him know that either he goes in and gets what those kids, who look like tweakers on a weekend bender of crystal meth, went in there in the first place looking for or they’ll kill his family.

DIE HARD Flashback #4 & #5: A kid inside calls Willis on a cell phone and only talks to Willis. The same kid knows how to get around the house through the air vents.

Are they kidding me with this? Sadly, no. We press on anyway.

The house somehow explodes into flames (DH Flashback #6) and there are a whole lot of incomprehensible cut scenes which don’t really inform me as they do confound the issue of how the hell Willis gets in through the front door and other more practical questions that just serve to confuse me.

Does anyone know if this movie is supposed to be taking place on Christmas Eve? Anyone? Anyone?

Director: Lee Tamahori
Cast: Ice Cube, Willem Dafoe, Samuel L Jackson, Scott Speedman, Peter Strauss, Sunny Mabrey
Release: April 29th, 2005
Synopsis: Darius Stone, a new agent in the XXX program, is sent to Washington, DC to diffuse a power struggle amongst national leaders.

Prognosis: Negative. I can’t believe my eyes or my mouth as I say this: maybe Vin Diesel was right to Just Say No when offered the part to do XXX part 2.

This had the markings of a sequel that could’ve built considerably on its predecessor and learned from what made it good in the first place, cutting out all the junk that didn’t fly, but what has happened here, apparently, is that the directors and script writers just decided to toss promise out the window and let mediocrity be its guide.

“In the center of American power…”

The trailer starts off with throaty voiceover guy. Here, in this trailer, he’s actually the best thing about the whole two minutes. He does his best to really play up the importance of what is actually happening on the screen; we get an outside view of Washington D.C. and the interior of a very nice looking legislative session where a lot of important white guys conceivably are drilling the American public in the rear making crappy policies to ruin their lives.

Before I can dwell on the bombastic talking from one of the important federal officials at the podium there seems to be an underground attack by a bunch of dudes who are dressed all in black with infrared hoo-haas all over their faces and body while carrying big guns. I like that. I’m very appreciative of wanton violence but all they’re doing is walking. No one has even fired a bullet yet. Then, before I’m able to try and get pumped for an armed confrontation, Willem Dafoe shows up. Willem Dafoe. Somewhere, something dies a little bit inside of me. Guess it’s that time of the year when interest payments are needed on that extra extra large townhouse that’s being built on the French Riviera.

Ok, so what happens, I take it, is that someone attacks the XXX facility. (Oh yeah, I can tell you it was the XXX facility because they have a big red ass XXX logo on the outside of their underground lair. What government body puts logos, like they’re competing for mall space next to a Sbarro’s and Charlotte Russe, on its facilities? Dopes.) Well, I am happy to tell you that Samuel L. Jackson makes it out ok but he says to one of the guys working with him, who I assume also survived the melee, that they now need to work “off the grid.” That’s what I thought XXX already was. Sigh. Oh well, shows you how much I was paying attention during the first one.

Anyway, for some reason Samuel needs a felon to help him out but not just any felon, mind you. As it’s told to us by a very tidy man standing in front of a large video screen with a lot of other little screens showing other vitals on our man, Ice Cube, he’s a top notch guy with a bunch of stellar experience. The problem is, da-da-da dummm, he has an attitude problem. Oh yeah, also, just to let you know, Ice Cube is also shown running off the top of the penitentiary where he was kept and catching the leg of a helicopter that’s taking off in what I can only guess is some sort of prison break.

Does anyone out there understand that Ice Cube doing that is a joke? It’s funny, not adventurous. Anthony LaPaglia said he always wanted to do that in SO I MARRIED AN AX MURDERER because he had seen it in so many cop shows. It’s not impressive here as it is a cruel, played out exercise in lazy writing. It’s like a cop saying he’s “too old for this” when something wacky happens. But, whatever, I’m not the one getting paid for this film.

So, we move past that, find out that Ice led a mutiny against a 4-star general and instead of being shot on site and mutilated by a pack of hungry wolverines he was allowed to live. However, his identity was erased forever in government computers. (I love the smell of plausibility in the morning. It smells like…THE ROCK) Ice is then recruited to be the new XXX, he makes a lame one-liner, and then I rejoice when the quick clips start rolling. Guns are loaded, cars are rolling fast down a city street late at night, fists are flying, and I finally perk up.

The plot then mentions Willem as a man who is going to take over the capital. I don’t know how, Ice says he’s gonna do it with a bunch of tanks and choppers, but, really, c’mon, the whole city? I give up at this point because we know the eventual outcome won’t be Willem’s conquering of the city but we believe it anyway just to see where this all goes.

It’s about here where I have to give big-ups to the trailer makers. The plot is finally established and as the movie president is giving a speech the lights go out throughout the entire capital. Some operatic music starts to chime in, Ice goes hot as he unleashes his machine gun bad assery, ropes are dangling from roofs where bad guys are repelling into someplace, some hot blonde chick throws herself at Ice, and then we get some tricked out 1968 Ford Torino (at least that’s what it looks like) that’s appears to have been on MTV’s Pimp My Ride, and stuff just blows up from here.

The last 30 seconds of this trailer are really great; it makes me want to see this mindless crap, seriously. I like that everything near the end is either in flames or is about to get reduced to splinters. I appreciate Ice’s astute quote about his soldiers to which Samuel tries to guess which famous general said it but Ice just deadpans it when he says, “Tupac.” Ha, now that’s why I’ll see the film. Not for the shoddy exposition and lead-in that represents ¾ of the running time for this thing. Don’t over think a movie like this. In fact, don’t make me think at all.

Director: Christopher Smith
Cast: Franka Potente, Sean Harris, Vas Blackwood, Jeremy Sheffield, Ken Campbell
Release: Whenever they decide Americans are worthy enough to see it in 2005
Synopsis: Trapped in a London subway station, a woman who’s being pursued by a potential attacker heads into the unknown labyrinth of tunnels beneath the city’s streets.

Prognosis: Positive. This is nice.

I am a fairly big fan of Franka Potante’s work, RUN LOLA RUN being an obvious starting point for my passion in regard to her ability, but this trailer is most excellent in teasing what could be a very effective thriller.

The thing starts off with heavy breathing. Not the kind you have to pay $3.99 a minute for but the kind that comes from laborious exertion.

The camera opens up on a subway entrance. There is no one around and everything is nearly clinically white. The fluorescent lighting and the waxed floor make it next to impossible to even discern what time it is. What’s effective is that with the heavy breathing the camera moves forward slowly and jitters a bit as if it’s in the first-person perspective.

The panting continues as the camera comes to the stairs leading down to the subway platform. The haunting noise in the background just completes the surrealist vibe of such an empty place being filled with so much suspense.

We finally see Franka awaken suddenly in the tunnel as she was catching a few winks before her ride home and realizes she missed the last train for the night. She’s the last one at the subway stop.

She yells out “Hello?” through a gate that is now locked behind her.

The next scene is her walking through a stopped, darkened subway train that was nearby in the tunnel and asks if someone’s there (I sure as hell would never ever do that. I would probably start crying as soon as I figured out I was left in a subway all alone). Franka finds some hands at the end of the subway car of someone trying to pull themselves up from below. It’s a guy in a suit and he looks beaten all to hell. Before he says the word help he is dragged down under the car. Franka takes off, as quick as she can, through the subway terminal hoping to find help of her own.

The camera takes a break from focusing on her as we have a nameless man standing inside a subway car, wielding a tire iron (what the hell is it doing in a subway?), and looking like he knows that trouble is afoot. He’s ready to throw down but Franka is nowhere to be found.

A bunch of odd snippets show more of Franka running through the bowels of this subway station with someone being dragged down a causeway, a different guy looking afraid for his life, lots of water, a long looking pig sticker that is searching for a warm body cavity to be stuck in, more of Franka running, and then a shot of Franka finally settling down in a corner, alone, with only her flashlight to keep her safe.

What’s really freaky, in a SAW kind of way, is that the trailer ends with someone begging “No, please” as a wind-up toy plays on a bookshelf, being book ended by a couple of pickled fetuses, with our killer walking slowly toward his prey with a ferocious looking blade. And that’s it.

Nice. I like to see that the horror genre isn’t dead and this film only has a UK release date so far. I hope you bloody limeys would be so kind as to punt a word or two about whether or not this film lives up to this auspicious trailer because we’re not even on the distribution map yet.

Director: Gore Verbinski
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Michael Caine, Hope Davis, Gemmenne de la Peña, Nicholas Hoult
Release: April 1, 2005
Synopsis: A weather man who lives with his wife and kids in Chicago must deal with problems which arise from wanting to move to New York.

Prognosis: Positive. Fun Fact #378 about me: I think I’m the only one alive who liked THE MEXICAN.

I was doubly bowled over for what Gore Verbinski did with THE RING. Too many people got bogged down, I think, looking back at that crap film MOUSE HUNT and kept it at that. True, that was a horrid affair, but if we look at what the man’s been able to do since then he has shown that he can really assist well in telling a great story. He has done some moves that can put to shame any Michael Bay’s or Brett Ratner’s of the static camera world. The man deserves credit for what he can do and this trailer, for THE WEATHER MAN, is no different.

The trailer is a symphony of soft moments, punching humor and the sense that there is something very good that will come out of Nicholas Cage that won’t have anything to do with whoring Aquafina or have any part of Visa’s win everything you put yourself in debt for this year promotion. And that’s a good thing once in a while.

Right out of the gate this thing grabs your attention with its attention to visual style. What we have here is Nicholas Cage as a weather man who works in Chicago (I notice that Cage’s weatherman is in a station that looks almost exactly like WGN.). A couple of people watch him at home, the weather itself rather gloomy and grey right outside their windows, and the husband comments how he doesn’t like the way he looks. The wife disagrees.

Cage’s voiceover mentions how he really only has to work two hours a day reading a teleprompter. As he walks along a street, having this inner dialogue, someone tries to get his attention as they chuck a chocolate milkshake (Wendy’s, I think) at his head. The scene pauses at the moment of impact. They miss and get his shoulder.

He mentions how this happens regularly. A Styrofoam container of chicken nuggets makes contact with his noggin. Ditto for the half-eaten burrito and the large Coke.

I’m laughing my ass off at this point. I appreciate the slow-mo connecting shots of these items hitting Cage and the calm way he explains this freak occurrence.

Michael Caine is Cage’s father and he, himself, doesn’t understand the phenomenon of why someone would throw something at his son.

Cage has an overweight daughter who seems miserable in her own life as does Cage. Michael mentions that he should help his daughter find something new in her life. Caine seems to care about his son and it’s endearing. What’s more is that we’re not even into the heart of the story yet I am completely convinced of their relationship. Cage mentions how his father was a great writer and was a great father.

Caine then has a slight voiceover as he essentially says that, as a parent, you never stop worrying about your children. It’s sweet but it doesn’t feel like a saccharine lie. In fact, we move in the other direction rather quickly as Cage packs a snowball from the end of a driveway, hoping to hit his wife in the back in a loving sort of way. She turns around and catches it with her face. She’s also wearing glasses. Again, people getting hit with things are always funny as long as you can make it original.

Cage sincerely tries to help his daughter find a new interest, it happens to be archery, as he tries to grapple with his own inability to satisfy simple requests, like bringing home tartar sauce for dinner. He’s making his way through a rough patch in his life.

“Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing?”

Michael Caine cares deeply for his son and it appears he is the patriarch that Cage needs in his life so he can also be one for his own children. Cage appears fired up to take on a life that’s been pushing him around for a while.

There are some wonderful quick clips of the transformation that takes place somewhere in this film’s running time and there’s even a glib mention Cage makes that no one throws things anymore at him; not since he’s been carrying around a bow and arrow, anyway. And what happens is we see this man, with a trench coat on, walking downtown Chicago with a bow and arrow draped around his shoulders like a Roman waiting for a tiger to leap out from around a tree.

With Iggy Pop’s “The Passenger” giving this trailer something more than late 80’s era techno crap that has been so pervasive lately, this is a trailer that is a wonder to watch and a joy to listen to; I went and bought the single.

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