I realized today that in the nearly three years that I have been writing TV Or Not TV I have never sat down and given my thoughts on the performances of the American Idol contestants. I am in no way a music critic so instead of trying to decipher the talents of these contestants I thought it might be interesting to just jot down some notes on each of the performances and see what happens. 

Jacob:  I just can’t stand the way he sings. Spent the entire performance cringing. My wife says he has a Luther sound but he just sounds like a gospel choir performer trying to step out of the crowd into the spotlight and I still don’t get how he’s still here. 

Haley: Really channeled Janice Joplin on stage. Backup singers were too loud in the mix. Who is responsible for mixing the audio?The band/backup is always out of whack.

Casey: Tapped into his inner Fogerty in a way I didn’t expect. Could record a CCR cover album and go platinum right now. 

Lauren: Her performance was solid but safe. This isn’t the part of the competition where solid and safe is enough. Especially when you’ve got Pia to compete with. 

James: There are performances that in their subtlety tell a greater story than an over the top power anthem. James has usually done the latter but his control and emotion tonight showed he is a true performer and not just a one trick pony. 

Scotty: As a long time Elvis fan I thought that Scotty’s performance was great. I had my doubts that he would make it very far in this competition and he has dispelled every one of them as he effortlessly moves through each genre. 

Pia: Yes she’s a talent. She’s a contender and another Pia performance knocked it out of the park. My biggest complaint is that it was another Pia performance. Eventually if every performance is the same, even when great, they can seem commonplace. 

Stefano: Usually his performances grate on my nerves but tonight was his best performance. It’s just too bad he is a performer that is surrounded with many other greater performers. 

Paul: I don’t understand how Paul has made it this far in the competition since his performances always seem lacking compared to most of the other contestants. Now that we are down to the final nine he better hope his charm with the ladies is enough to get him the votes he needs to stay after this week. 

In case no one was able to pick up on Randy’s subtleties apparently every contestant is “in it to win it.” So glad to know that these kids actually entered a contest with the intention of competing. 

So now that my note taking exercise is done the real question is who will be going Thursday night? The bottom three should be Lauren, Stefano and Paul because their performances just aren’t as strong as the other contestants. If performances were the only concern in the voting these would be the bottom three. There is no way to accurately predict the voting habits of the American teenager however so I just don’t know how things will really shake out. 

Here’s what else is out there for tonight’s TV viewing.

FOX – 8:00 PM: It’s the AMERICAN IDOL results show where anything literally can happen. Between CASEY nearly collapsing on stage and an appearance by HULK HOGAN its pretty clear that there’s a big bowl of random they just keep making stuff happen from.

SLEUTH – 8:00 PM: The only reason I can imagine why SEMI-PRO is on the SLEUTH network is because of the mystery surrounding why this film was ever made.

NBC – 8:30 PM: A new episode of PERFECT COUPLES is tucked away nice and snug in a night surrounded by repeats on NBC. I bring it up because KYLE BORNHEIMER could read the phone book and make me laugh.

SYFY – 9:00 PM: If you never caught the show TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES but always meant to watch it than you are in luck if you tune in to SYFY tonight. The pilot and subsequent ep air back-to-back. The only bad thing is that newcomers may be confused if they watch TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES which airs prior to the pilot.

FOX – 9:00 PM: BRENNAN has to work with a forensic podiatrist to match up dismembered feet with their bodies on tonight’s BONES. I’ve worked for 30 minutes trying to come up with a joke like something about having two left feet to no avail. I should have just waited for the other shoe to drop (BAM! Came up with one.)

FX – 10:00 PM: ARCHER is on. Do I really need to say more than that?

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