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Welcome to another week of TV Or Not TV where I really wanted to like THE CAPE and SNL.

After finally having the opportunity to watch THE CAPE I can see where the creators of the show wanted to go with it, but I think they may have fallen victim to executive involvement. The first hour of the two-hour premiere would be what most would refer to as the origin story. We get to see how the character of VINCE FARADAY evolves into THE CAPE. We get to see where he gets his training and his titular cape. We get to see how he gets teamed up with the blogger ORWELL and we see where his motivation to become a super hero comes from. The problem is this was just too much to cram into the forty-four minutes that the show had. The pilot came off as rushed and in some regards forced, which unfortunately gives it somewhat of an amateurish feel.

There used to be a time when a show that would require the scope that THE CAPE needed in its premiere would be given a full two hours (1.5 hours actual) to flesh out its concept in almost a TV movie fashion. In some cases the pilot for a show would actually be done as a TV movie to see if the audience actually wanted such a show. This is the type of treatment that THE CAPE should have been given because there were too many leaps and bounds around the story that they told for it to feel cohesive and logical. One amazing example of this is the moment that ORWELL and FARADAY team up. THE CAPE has known ORWELL for all of what feels like 5 minutes and she’s giving him an earpiece to be his backup.

Another example is when MAX MALINI is captured by the villain CHESS because of his stealing from the ARK banks. CHESS knows who he is but moving from the first to the second episode MAX is just relaxing at his carnival and apparently CHESS no longer has an interest in his lost money. If CHESS doesn’t pick this thread up again during the third episode he is the dumbest evil genius in TV show history because THE CAPE uses the exact same vanishing trick that MAX did in order to escape CHESS in the pilot episode.

If you were able to stomach the first hour of THE CAPE you were rewarded with a not-quite-as-bad second episode that demonstrates the real promise that the show holds. FARADAY is shown to be cunning, dedicated and most importantly he is flawed because he is new to this whole super-hero thing. We as the audience are also introduced to another sub-set of hired killers whose organization is known as TAROT which opens up the scope of the show for guest villains to be logically dropped in.

The one glaringly obvious weak plot point that continues on from the first to the second episode is SUMMER GLAU’s character ORWELL. We aren’t told at all why ORWELL seems to have all of the expensive toys are high-tech knowledge which is fine, but the character is extremely under-utilized. I’m still convinced that GLAU was added at the last minute to try to give the show more appeal to the male geek demographic the show is trying to pull in, but from what we’ve seen in these first two episodes it just isn’t enough.

HARI CARREY

This past Saturday’s SNL proved to be one of the most painful viewing experiences that I’ve had with the show in some time. I don’t know exactly what happened but I’d be suspicious of the fact that JIM CARREY planted himself in the writer’s room and they were all mesmerized by his BS and he was able to convince them all that he still knew what funny is. If this scenario did occur than I hope that each of the writers and cast members at least had that gut feeling that what they were hearing wasn’t actually funny at all but they were too scared to go up against the former titan that was JIM CARREY.

I knew there was something that wasn’t quite right when the show didn’t come back from the post-monologue faux commercial to a skit. I should have known from this tiny sign that I should just fast-forward to Weekend Update and from there call it a night. Sadly I did not.

The BLACK SWAN skit was bush-league at best since there was nothing done to make CARREY even appear feminine. Every other CARREY skit after that continued to fall flat for me with the exception of the WORST OF SOUL TRAIN sketch. This was the one and only time that CARREY delivered well timed goods and just enough exposure to be funny. I’m convinced that he had absolutely nothing to do with the creation of this skit as well.

I also realize, in writing this, humor is subjective and open to interpretation of the viewer. I’ve seen JIM CARREY be funnier so for me he just wasn’t up to snuff on this episode. If you thought differently feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts because I would love to hear them.

Now let’s move on to the meat and potatoes of this week’s television dining experience, shall we?

MONDAY

NBC - 9:00 PM: If you missed THE CAPE last night and want still want to build your own opinion than you can catch the first two hours again tonight. The NBC site calls it an encore, I call it a re-air.

A&E - 10:00 PM: Tonight’s HOARDERS has to be the most disgusting ever as the show focuses on a man that hoards rats. Yes, I said rats. 2,500 of them. I may not even be able to stomach this one.

TBS - 10:00 PM: MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE comes up with the suckiest road trip ever in the winter season finale as its destination: colonoscopies.

ABC - 10:00 PM: A magic store owner is found dead in Houdini’s Water Torture Tank on tonight’s CASTLE. Too bad for the guy Houdini didn’t have the Ultra-Fluffy Bed of Final Rest trick instead.

TUESDAY

ABC - 8:00 PM: Why is it every time an Uncle comes to visit they always have an angle? Tonight on NO ORDINARY FAMILY we get JIM’s brother dropping in for a visit and he figures out a way to use JJ’s genius to win at gambling.

NBC - 8:00 PM: It is doctor feel good night as the contestants on THE BIGGEST LOSER get lectured by the show’s doctor about just how unhealthy they are.

COMEDY CENTRAL - 10:30 PM: If you’re a fan of funny and sports you’ll be sure to enjoy the premiere tonight of the ONION SPORTSDOME.

WEDNESDAY

FOX - 8:00 PM: The only bad thing about two hours of HUMAN TARGET is that they are blowing through new episodes way too fast.

ABC - 9:00 PM: MITCHELL bumps into a former girlfriend on tonight’s MODERN FAMILY. No, you read that write and no, I didn’t get it wrong.

TLC - 9:00 PM: MY STRANGE ADDICTION brings us a teen that eats detergent. This makes me glad I’ve never had to wash my kid’s mouth out with soap.

ABC - 10:00 PM: The creator of GREY’S ANNATOMY and PRIVATE PRACTICE stretches into unknown territory with a medical drama (big shock) but set in the jungle! This is going to make those laundry room hook-ups a lot more complicated.

THURSDAY

USA - 6:00 AM: Home sick from work (or not working)? How about a ROYAL PAINS six hour marathon?

ABC - 8:00 PM: WIPEOUT contestants have to work their way past the Yule Log and I only wish this was on during the holidays for me to truly enjoy its winter theme.

DISCOVERY - 8:00 PM: If you missed the GREEN HORNET special edition of MYTHBUSTERS than tonight you can enjoy it.

FRIDAY

CBS - 8:00 PM: It’s the penultimate episode of MEDIUM and ALLISON finally gets to meet a psychic stalker (the guy is stalking a psychic, not a stalker who sees the future or anything).

THE CW - 8:00 PM: Tonight’s repeat of SMALLVILLE gives CLARK a glimpse of his red and blue future thanks to BRANIAC 5.

HBO - 9:00 PM: The animated version of a podcast returns for a second season tonight with THE RICKY GERVAIS SHOW. Just consider it a warm up for the GOLDEN GLOBES on Sunday.

VH1 - 9:00 PM: It’s the CRITICS’ CHOICE MOVIE AWARDS and I’m happy to say that even nearing 40 I still don’t completely agree with the critics.

SATURDAY

ABC - 9:00 PM: It’s the MISS AMERICA PAGEANT and we can only hope for another viral-worthy Q&A with the contestants.

SYFY - 9:00 PM: I’m not sure if the name of the SYFY original movie BEHEMOTH is for the title character or how big a piece of crap this will be.

NBC - 11:30 PM: Last week’s SNL may have sucked hard but at least when it comes to scheduling they’ve still got it with the combo of GWYNETH PALTROW and musical guest CEE LO GREEN. I can’t wait for the bleeps during their inevitable duet.

SUNDAY

NBC - 8:00 PM: RICKY GERVAIS returns to host THE 68th ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBES tonight and if I watch it is just to see him.

HBO - 9:00 PM: I hope you are all caught up on BIG LOVE because the final season premieres tonight. .

BBC AMERICA - 9:00 PM: THE TUDORS starts its cable syndication tonight on BBC AMERICA so if you always wanted to see it and didn’t have SHOWTIME than now’s your chance.

COMEDY CENTRAL - 10:00 PM: I have no idea if it’s any good but how could I not resist wanting to type DENIS LEARY AND FRIENDS PRESENT DOUCHEBAGS AND DONUTS?

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