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EXCUSE ME, STEWARDESS

What’s happenin’ all you hip cats and hot mamas? I’m glad ya’ll found time to join me up in here tonight, because I’m about to blow ya minds with the tale of Black Dynamite (Michael Jai White). He’s a cool dude that used to work for the C.I. of A. He was the best. He was a war hero back in Nam. He knows karate like that kid. And he pulls the foxes like the best of ‘em. I guess you could say he is one bad mother–… Oh. Well, the editors of this here piece have informed me that I don’t need to be cussin’ in this here review, so I’ll try to keep it elementary for you cats.

So, I guess I should hit you fine folk with a little about the plot. Alright, you got my main man Black Dynamite, right? Well, his brother went undercover to this drug deal and ended up gettin’ himself killed. Black Dynamite didn’t take too well to that, so he goes on the prowl looking for the killer. After teaming up with this brother, Cream Corn (Tommy Davidson), they decide to do away with all those jive turkeys who is sellin’ smack to the kids. Black Dynamite loves the little kids. Especially orphans. So they gather up a few other cats and raid the warehouse where they think the drugs are at, but they find a big surprise that leads all the way to the top (the very top). Confused? That’s okay, because the plot matters about as much as how many miles per gallon I can get on my Cadillac. It’s irrelevant to the big picture, baby.

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And what a picture it is, people. The director, my main man Scott Sanders, and Michael Jai White (who came up with the story and helped to write it) done a fantastic job of puttin’ this thing together. I guess it would be a spoof, but it would also fit right in with the blaxploitation flicks of the 70’s. This would have been a great addition to Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse. I definitely would have stayed in my seat another ninety minutes because Black Dynamite will have you laughin’ harder than any movie you gonna see this year. It’s finely paced and smarter than other spoofs coming out these days. I was laughing throughout the whole thing and I was laughing hard. One of my sexy foxes had to calm me down right there in the theater, man. About ten minutes into the flick, Black Dynamite remembers an incident in Vietnam that he will never forget. He tells the story so vividly and sincere, but it’s hilarious. Everybody in the audience was laughing so hard, it was hard to hear what the cat was saying. I didn’t think they would be able to top that thing, but it only got better. As Black Dynamite takes on some kung fu treachery, the moment when the villain has his hand cut off provides the funniest part in the flick.

It’s the subtle things that really take Black Dynamite from good spoof film to classic comedy. Actors are replaced mid-scene, the way Black Dynamite and his troops solve the mystery of what they found in the warehouse is brilliant, and the soundtrack sometimes tells us exactly what is going on. The boom in the shot has been done a hundred times, but here it seems intelligent and fresh.

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I’ve always liked that boy, Michael Jai White, and here he shows that he could be a leading man if given the chance. He’s pitch-perfect in the role and always has a straight face. He delivers every single line with impeccable timing and his “smile” is righteous. He has an adequate supporting cast around him, but this is essentially a one man show.

It almost hurts that I got to see Black Dynamite as part of the L.A. Film Festival and won’t be able to catch it again for a few months. I wanted to peep it again as soon as the credits crawled up the screen (with some funny jokes). So don’t you go thinking this is one of those spoofs that a cat like Keenan Ivory Wayans might put out. Get you a sexy mama and haul ass to the nearest big screen as soon as this baby comes near you. You won’t be disappointed.

Jesse Rivers wishes he had a chance to live in the 70’s.

Comments:

2 Responses to “The Greatest Movie Blog Of All Time: Excuse Me, Stewardess…”

  1. Neon_Vomit Says:

    Damn, you’ve got me all excited to see this flick. *Wishes he would have taken the 40 minute drive to Sundance to see the movie.*

  2. JiminyCricket Says:

    I can dig this review, sucka. I already wanted to see this flick, now I just can’t wait. Great review, as always is the case with Mr. Rivers.

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