Welcome to TV or Not TV where I am by far the worst television critic in the world.

I know that the above statement is a pretty lofty one however this past week I’ve hardly watched any television. It’s very hard to actually write aobut television in an informed manner when you aren’t actively watching it. I’ve lived in a tiny little micro-verse where the only television that has existed is Weeds, Burn Notice, and True Blood. I don’t know how it happened whether it is just a busy week or other things, however I just have no opinion on anything else right now except these shows.

I have to admit that a few weeks ago I was unnecessarily harsh towards Weeds this season. I went back and watched the first three episodes again and I have to say that, although I don’t like this continued new direction of the show, I am still consistently entertained by it. I know that by the end of the season I will have watched all of the episodes and I’ll probably complain a little but deep inside I’ll know that I liked what I saw. This season seems it will have more Doug in it and that pleases me.

Burn Notice, on the other hand, has me absolutely clueless on the direction that it is going. This season started off with a female cop investigating and busting Michael Weston‘s chops. This new character wasn’t exactly a deep one but it did adress a question that I’ve been asking the entire run of this show to date: With all of these explosions and things going on around Michael how is it possible the police aren’t watching this guy? It turns out that they actually are. Now that we’ve addressed that, however, where do we go from here? If Michael gets un-burned the show is over, right?

I’ve already said just how incredible for me this season of True Blood is. There is a lot going on, a lot of conflict being created and a lot of mystery being revealed. I really hope this show keeps the momentum rolling as I’m deeply engrossed in these characters. Whatever direction you turn it would appear that there is one character that is being set up to have a head-on collision with another. As far as my vampire dramas are concerned me likey.

Now that I’ve talked about the few things that I have watched here is a bunch of television that, should I repeate last week’s behavior, I won’t be watching as well.

MONDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Nothings says loving and caring tribute to a passed icon like rolling out your episode where 13 hacks trash their songs. Thank you FOX for doing that tonight with the re-airing of American Idol.

TLC – 9:00 PM: Wow, I can’t imagine going through anything harder than the dissolution of your 10 year marriage in the public eye. Oh wait, how about a TV show that looks at the lifetime of your marriage as well? I’m sure Jon & Kate Plus 8 are very thankful that TLC is doing just that.

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: OK, so tonight they are rolling out the 2001 movie Legally Blonde? I guess America’s Got Talent has FOX a bit on the ropes.

E! – 9:00 PM: At last, the E! True Hollywood Story gives me all those unanswered questions I’ve had about Criss Angel. My life will now be complete.

BET – 10:00 PM: I don’t know if you know who Tiny & Toya are but this isn’t a new show on Adult Swim. It’s the gals of rappers T.I. and Lil’ Wayne in a reality show.

WEDNESDAY

DISCOVERY – 11:00 AM: I don’t know if a marathon of Pitchmen was what was originally planned for today but I’m still blown away by the sudden loss of Billy Mays. I’ll never look at a container of Oxyclean again.

ABC – 8:00 PM: Contestants on Wipeout face Spike Fenders, Spinning Triangles, and Drop Bridge. If it weren’t wipe out we were talking about I’d think those were Guitar Hero band names and not obstacles.

ANIMAL PLANET – 9:00: All right, seriously, Monster Inside Me may be the grossest show to come out as it focuses on the fatal cases of internal parasites to invade humans.

THURSDAY

USA – 6:00 PM: If you haven’t taken the time yet to get familiar with Burn Notice than this seventeen hour marathon is more than enough time for you to finally do it.

ANIMAL PLANET – 8:00 PM: I’m not really big on documentaries but Grizzly Man is still one of the most engrossing docs I’ve ever seen. Timothy Treadwell loved bears, thought he was protecting bears, and eventually was killed by a bear. Really, you have to watch it.

BRAVO – 10:00 PM: I remember when Grease was more than just a movie, it was a theatrical and television event when it was out.

FRIDAY

TVLAND – 9:00 PM: National Lampoon’s Vacation is another one of those films that really captured the time it was made in. John Candy was still alive, Beverly D’Angelo didn’t look like a drag queen and Chevy Chase was still a big star. I hate getting older.

HISTORY – 10:00 PM: Delve into the madness of conspiracy theorists and the truly paranoid with a look at Secret Societies.

CMT – 11:00 PM: Darius Rucker proves he earned his #1 country hit and that he was more than just a Hootie with his Invitation Only concern.

SATURDAY

It’s the 4th of July! Screw TV, you should be eatting bar-b-que and watching real fireworks. If you can’t get out than instead maybe you might like to watch:

NBC – 9:00 PM: The Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular

CBS – 10:00 PM: Music and explosions join forces in the Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular.

SUNDAY

TNT – 8:00 PM: The genius programming aware goes to TNT for airing Independence Day on July 5th. Maybe this year they’ll to the Christmas Story marathon on December 26th.

HALLMARK – 9:00 PM: Lou Diamond Phillips and Luke Perry star as opposing gunmen in Angel and the Badman. I don’t care what else it’s about, I’m in.

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