We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

After voting on Round 2, our masters and Challengers were then given their third Challenge…

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

And now, for archival purposes, you’ll find the Rounds 1, 2, & 3 songs from each of our Masters & Challengers below – even those who had to drop out along the away – as well as the results of the Rounds 1, 2, & 3 voting. At the very bottom of the page, you’ll find THE FINAL CHALLENGE! Oh, and who are the Challengers? Find out below!

MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re brought in 3 (well, 5, if you’re being technical) very special Masters. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and the ultimate challengers:

NEIL INNES

If you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy–just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hippie with a Djembe”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)
ROUND 3 SONG: Sadly, Paul & Storm were eaten by dingoes in the night. They shall return for the Final.

GARFUNKEL & OATES

Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Jeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Bop Bop Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
ROUND 1 SONG: “(Happiness)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “You Gotta Smile”
ROUND 2 SONG: “My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

INSANE IAN

Insane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed… really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “What Makes You Feel Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

MICK BORDET

Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy People”
ROUND 2 SONG: “What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
ROUND 1 SONG: “My Personal Eccentric Happiness”
ROUND 2 SONG: “The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Deep Sea Anglerfish”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Caroline”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Pompadour Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted† songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.††  He has, to date, three full albums‡, two EPs‡‡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, † – Bold-faced lie, †† – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., ‡ – More lies, ‡‡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Wide-Eyed Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “Parole Day”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Pity The (Song) Fu”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Mallful Of Brains”
ROUND 2 SONG: “God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

BRYCE JENSEN

Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family. His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between. Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush. He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding. Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
ROUND 1 SONG: “As Happy As Me”
ROUND 2 SONG: “You And I” (WORDS USED: like, away, need, I, run, you, me, see, love, follow)

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Let The Happiness In”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Forgot The Words Blues” (WORDS USED: I, forgot, the, words, to, this, song, got, blues, yeah)

HALLELUJAH APE

“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
ROUND 1 SONG: “Do What You Want”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Why” (WORDS USED: the, grim, inevitability, of, last, spoon, in, a, sink, why)

RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

“Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers. While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.” There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson. Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger) partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.” After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences. LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different. Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
Twitter: twitter.com/RockingJamboree
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy Walking Song“

HEATHER HENDERSON

Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

Official Website: www.HHenderson.com
Twitter: twitter.com/HeatherHenderso
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy Song“

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG: “One Little Happy Thought“

THE FINAL CHALLENGE

All the votes have been tallied, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes over the course of the last 3 Challenges is MOLLY LEWIS!  She’ll be going head-to-head against Masters PAUL & STORM… So what exactly is the Final Challenge?

I call this one FRANKENSONG. For this fourth and final challenge, you must craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within your final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole. By distinct, I mean both tempo and style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. For examples of Frankensong, think of tunes like The Beatles’ “A Day In The Life” and Paul McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, or have a listen to the track below:

Harry Chapin – “There Only Was One Choice”

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Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, April 21st, 2009.

Voting on the Final Round will commence on Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009.

All former Challengers are encouraged to shadow this round – join in the fun! Anyone who sends in a shadow entry will be featured.

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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ROUND 3 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

Comments: 23 Comments

23 Responses to “Masters Of Song Fu #3: Final Challenge Revealed!” Ken Kopin Says: April 13th, 2009 at 8:22 pm Not for nothing, but one might thing that a Frankensong could require extra time to compose. Submitted in my capacity as “some random guy no one has heard of” is the notion that maybe an extra week for this ultimate round might be ok? Just Sayin’ Hazen Nester Says: April 13th, 2009 at 10:02 pm This challenge is going to kick major ass. Good luck, Molly and P&S. I’m already stoked about shadowing this one. Mark Gordon Says: April 13th, 2009 at 10:22 pm Another Beatles example: “Happiness is a Warm Gun.” Radiohead’s “Paranoid Android” is another. A conventional song these days has three components: verse, chorus, and bridge. The biggest difference between a conventional song and a Frankensong is that the parts (especially verse and chorus) are interleaved in a conventional song, whereas that’s typically not true in a Frankensong. That being the case, a Frankensong may not be that much more work than a conventional song. Babins Says: April 14th, 2009 at 5:10 am YEAH! GO MOLLY! It all comes down to this! Paul and Storm, The Masters Of Song Fu vetran duo V.S. Molly Lewis, The Masters Of Song Fu ukulele challenger! This will be the best challenge (at least in my opinion) in the history of The Masters Of Song Fu! Eddie Colton Says: April 14th, 2009 at 6:14 am The only difference between this and a traditional song is that the three parts are different tempos and styles, instead of the same tempo and variations on one style. It’s not as hard as composing three songs. It’s just a twist on verse, chorus, middle 8. Molly Says: April 14th, 2009 at 12:32 pm Uncle Albert? Really? Blorf. Why not Bohemian Rhapsody? photosinensis Says: April 14th, 2009 at 3:36 pm @Molly: That’s exactly what I was thinking. Well, that and the aforementioned “Paranoid Android”. In any case, this is the matchup I’ve been waiting for since the competitors were first announced. This should be absolutely epic. Insane Ian Says: April 14th, 2009 at 3:53 pm I already did this challenge in round two. Well, sort of. Good luck Molly & Paul & Storm (& Shadowers!) Crazy round… UncaScroogeMcD Says: April 14th, 2009 at 4:10 pm Actually, Queen’s “We Will Rock You” and “We Are The Champions” are two different songs, though usually played back-to-back (as they were placed on the album). sevinPackage Says: April 14th, 2009 at 4:47 pm Funny, I think most of McCartney’s songs as two or three melodies fused together, like he had enough ideas to make a few 1-2 minutes songs when going into the studio to make one complete 5 minute song. Band On The Run and Live And Let Die are the ones I think of from Paul. Good luck to Paul, Storm and Molly! This is going to be an excellent round; I can feel it! JTricks Says: April 14th, 2009 at 9:31 pm Well done Molly for making it to the final round!!! (I voted for you every time.) This round is going to be awesome in every way… Molly Says: April 15th, 2009 at 2:00 am @Ken Well, if you’re going to argue THAT, then Sgt. Pepper & With A Little Help From My Friends is a fair comparison too. (Please don’t expect me to write Sgt Pepper + With A Little Help. Plea-he-heeeeese.) I look forward to seeing who shadows! This is going to be GREAT. Eddie Colton Says: April 15th, 2009 at 11:16 am I have a really awesome idea, but I’m recovering from nine days of nonstop writing/recording of another song. Plus the previous challenge’s anagramming still gives me nightmares. Molly, time to break out the Stylophone and kazoo. Russ Rogers Says: April 16th, 2009 at 2:27 pm I consider McCartney the Master of the Frankensong. There are too many to mention. Side 2 of Abbey Road is like one giant Frankensong. Good luck to Paul and Storm! Good luck, Molly! And thanks to Ken Plume for hosting this amazing showcase and for opening up the Grand Finale to the Shadows. I’m not sure I’ll finish in time. But, this has put some ideas in my head. Hazen Nester Says: April 16th, 2009 at 10:57 pm Well, as the week’s going on, I’m finding it more and more unlikely that I’ll finish my shadow entry in time. 🙁 But I will finish it, dammit. Mick Bordet Says: April 17th, 2009 at 7:38 pm It took a while to get rolling with this one, but I have at last got a song(s) structure, melodies and lyrics all up and running. Now to record the monster of a thing… Alex Says: April 18th, 2009 at 3:34 pm Once, long ago, Paul, Storm, and Molly were all friends. They even performed on stage together as recently as late January. Then, bitter competition formed between them, and all was lost. Paul & Storm, desperate to win amongst the Masters, decided to take out the competition, and shortly after this Neil Innes and Garfunkel & Oates mysteriously dropped out. Everyone was fooled by Paul & Storm’s oblivious charade; all but one. Molly Lewis knew better, and so she took matters into her own hands. Late in the night, the dingoes came. They tore at the flesh of Paul & Storm at the command of a mysterious ukulele wielding entity. Their meal finished, they left the scene rapidly alongside their master, who was busy scribbling down notes about what it would be like if Wikipedia were a person. Molly had righted the wrongs Paul & Storm had committed, and yet in doing so had become that which she had sought to eliminate. Just as Paul & Storm had, Molly had taken out the competition, and had submitted to the desire to win. She had stooped to the same levels Paul & Storm had. As Molly went on to do battle against the valiant Hank Green, however, Paul & Storm yet lived. They had come as far as to take out two Masters already, and they would not be denied. The duo scratched, clawed, and fought with everything they had, and at the end of their long journey they rose from the ashes, climbed out from the dingoes, and prepared for one final showdown. The war would be difficult, but they were determined to be victorious. The days of laughter amongst Paul & Storm and Molly Lewis have long departed. Gone are the days of pirate hats and bananas. All that is left now are two songs. Two songs tie Paul & Storm together with Molly. In just a few days, these songs will collide. These songs will clash against one another and in the end there shall be only one. What started as a friendly competition has now boiled down to an overwhelming desire to win that threatens to destroy everything in its path. Paul & Storm and Molly Lewis have all thrown away friendship. They’ve all thrown away the spirit of competition. They are all that stands in the other’s way, and only one can accomplish what they’ve worked so hard towards. At the end of the story, there is but one… MASTER OF SONG FU. *fade to black* sevinPackage Says: April 18th, 2009 at 6:13 pm Beautifully put, Alex. Could we get Gabe from Penny Arcade to turn that into a graphic novel? As for their friendship, I believe that Masters and Challenger can reconcile after the battle is over. (Hopeful Arrr!) Alex Says: April 19th, 2009 at 1:21 pm I dunno, man. She sent dingoes after them. DINGOES. sevinPackage Says: April 20th, 2009 at 3:00 pm Yes, it’s true. Dingoes were involved. The dingoes in question went to Paul’s house and Storm’s house (for 5-10 minutes), mainly to give them a fright. I heard from someone who’s friends with the owner of said dingoes, and he assured me that they are very nice and well-mannered pups, and couldn’t harm anything larger than, say, a baby. The owner also said that the dingoes wanted to meet Paul and Storm to thank them for making their favorite song, “Cruel, Cruel Moon.” Molly Says: April 21st, 2009 at 2:51 am Alex, the song is due in less than 24 hours and I haven’t started. Way to turn up the pressure. Alex Says: April 21st, 2009 at 7:01 am I… um… Oh! :O Well then, I’m looking forward to a friendly, respectful final round that will bring this competition to an honorable end. ^_^ Jack F Says: April 22nd, 2009 at 7:48 am Molly, if you thought the pressure was bad before, wait until you hear Paul & Storm’s entry. It’s one of their strongest songs ever. “Frogger! The Frogger Musical” makes Pinball Wizard sound like just another arcade game song. Leave a Reply Name (required) Mail (will not be published) (required) Website Δ