Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Kevin Costner and his wife are expecting their first child together. While the couple is happy about the news, Mrs. Costner is not looking forward to drawn out labor and thinly conceived plot.

• Nicholas Cage is set to produce the live action The Sorcerer’s Apprentice for Walt Disney Pictures. Cage says he will stay true to the original movie and plans to spend over half the films budget on genetic research to make living, dancing brooms.

• The film Norbit was the number one film this past weekend grossing $33.7 million. Like in his other, more successful films, Murphy plays both the lead male and female parts – which is consistent with his real life where he likes females with male parts.

• In a plea to her fans, singer Kylie Minogue has asked that her ex-boyfriend be left alone. In recent weeks various rumors have spread about the pairs split, and Minogue has asked that people respect their privacy. Sources close to Minogue have said “if you want to talk about something, at least talk about how bad Kylie’s music is, not her relationships.”

• The Dixie Chicks picked up five Grammys at this weekend’s awards ceremony. President Bush immediately released a statement saying that he has proof that the Dixie Chicks are behind the insurgency and escalating violence in Iraq.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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