Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• In (apparently unending) reunion news, reports out of the Van Halen clan state that the band is planning to tour with original singer David Lee Roth. Eddie Van Halen has also said that former bassist Michael Anthony is no longer part of the band and will be replaced by Eddie’s 15-year-old son Wolfgang. However, some close to the band are saying Eddie only plans on having Wolfgang around so he has quick access to blood transfusions and possible organ transplants.
• 20th Century Fox has served the owners of YouTube with subpoena asking for the identity of a user that is posting entire episodes of the TV series 24 on the site. YouTube responded that the request may be difficult but told 20th Century Fox that they could send over a video of a “Jedi in Training,” a dorky-looking kid dancing to “Mi Ya Hi” or Saturday Night Live’s “**** In A Box” skit.

• This week the satirist-supreme, Stephen Colbert, threatened to burn his honorary degree from Knox College if the school gave the same degree to former President Bill Clinton at this year’s graduation ceremony. Knox college officials said Clinton will receive a different degree but the school has also asked for help in “getting the former President to move out of a girl’s dormitory and to stop pestering students about ‘scoring’ some ‘ganj.’”

• Actress Nichole Kidman was involved in a car wreck while filming the new sci-fi movie The Invasion. Kidman was released from the hospital with no injuries, and before heading home stated, “I’ve been involved with bigger wrecks than that. Right off the top of my head I can think of two: Bewitched and Tom Cruise.”

• In movie news, Tim Hill has been approached to direct a live action/CGI version of The Chipmunks, the popular cartoon about a group of singing chipmunks.  Producers are looking to cast a well-known comedian in the role of Dave Seville, the Chipmunks’ manager and surrogate father.  Producers are also planning on an ‘R’ rating as the current script calls for adult language, several nude scenes (three featuring a chipmunk) and 112 acts of violence.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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