Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Pam Anderson is fighting mad over a proposal by the U.S. Postal Service to honor Colonel Sanders with a stamp.  The “finger-licking good” PETA hottie has fired off an angry letter to the Post Master General stating her displeasure. We here at QSE News would like to congratulate Miss Anderson for taking a stand against an issue that is important to her, and for actually spelling “KFC” correctly.

• This year’s Razzie Awards nominees have been announced, and leading the way with seven nominations is the film Basic Instinct 2. The Razzie Awards honor the worst Hollywood has to offer each year. After Sharon Stone was notified that she had been nominated, she promptly dusted off her vagina in preparation for her acceptance speech.

• Actress/Model/Frustrated Participant In A Butt Kicking Contest Heather Mills is denying reports that say she has settled her divorce with former Beatle, Sir Paul McCartney.  It was leaked that the pair had come to an agreement that Mills would receive a settlement that totaled 63 million dollars, including two mansions.  Mills representatives stated, emphatically, that these reports are simply not true adding “if you REALLY knew (Mills) you’d know that she would never settle for this because she simply can’t survive on such a piddly amount.”

• The Australian band Crowded House is reuniting for a new album and a subsequent tour this Spring. The band will play both new and old songs as they try to let the audience know they did not sing “Who Can It Be Now” and “Down Under.”

• Actress/singer Mandy Moore recently told Jane Magazine that she is suffering from depression. Moore plans to counteract her depression by becoming even more rich, even more popular and even more good looking. “If that doesn’t work then I’ll just start doing drugs and banging everything that moves… like my good friends the Olson Twins,” said Moore.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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