Did you have a safe and happy Fourth of July, friends? Still got all the fingers you had on the THIRD of July? Here’s hoping.
Things were pretty busy roundabouts here at Chez’ Hembeck, so, begging your indulgence, we’re dipping into the Fred Sez archives once again. This time we feature a little piece I wrote in late 2003. I hope you’ll enjoy it…
Recently, the Bravo network ran several specials presenting what they opined to be the 100 Greatest TV Characters, EVER!
No, I didn’t watch, as I find these sort of things to be invariably frustrating, since at their core, they’re merely an accumulation of some faceless folk’s personal prejudices, and I’d rather not get myself all in an uproar barking at my poor, innocent television screen that, hey, Lucy Ricardo should be the number one choice, not Archie Bunker (yeah, I’ll admit it: I saw a list of the list. Believe me, that was far simpler than slogging through all those hours of clips…)
Still, that doesn’t mean I’m not susceptible to trying a little of my own List-mania!…
(…as opposed to Lizstomania, that awful Ken Russell flick that had The Who’s Roger Daltrey cast in the title role – with Yes’s Rick Wakeman inexplicably cameoing in a Kirby designed Thor outfit! But THAT’S another topic altogether…)
But my list is simply MY list – and I’m certainly not going to attempt to name the Greatest, the Funniest, and most assuredly not the BEST characters ever to grace the tube. Uh uh. My focus concerns a baker’s dozen of characters who, whenever they show up on my television set, a smile immediately dances across my face, and I confess to pretty much laughing before they even DO anything! Now, these aren’t your beloved Ernie Bilkos, Rob Petries, or Frasier Cranes, all of whom possessed the force of personality to headline some of the best comedies in the medium’s more than half century history. Those comedic personas were inhabited by gifted performers who brought to life and greatly enhanced already top-notch material.
The list I’M compiling is made up simply of actors (all male as it turns out) who, merely by way of their look, their voice, or their attitude, meant instant chuckles when they moseyed onto the scene. Most were second bananas, most were decidedly odd, and ALL of them still manage to break me up each and every time!
So, in no particular order, and with no additional commentary, I present you with my list of the 13 Characters Who Never Fail To Break Me Up Each And Every Time! (…okay, okay – so the title needs work. Don’t linger – just keep reading…)
1. Ed Norton (Art Carney, The Honeymooners)
2. Count Floyd (Joe Flaherty, SCTV)
3. Eddie Haskell (Ken Osmond, Leave It To Beaver)
4. Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean)
5. Sgt. Rupert Ritzik/Officer Gunther Toody (Joe E. Ross, Sgt. Bilko/ Car 54, Where Are You?)
6. Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens, Pee Wee’s Playhouse and especially any and all appearances he made while strictly maintaining character guesting on various talk and variety programs)
7. Maynard G. Krebs (Bob Denver, The Many Loves Of Dobie Gillis)
8. Reverend Jim (Christopher Lloyd, Taxi)
9. Sgt. Vince Carter (Frank Sutton, Gomer Pyle, USMC)
10. SpongeBob SquarePants (Voice of Tom Kenny, created by Steve Hillenburg, SpongeBob SquarePants)
11. Soupy Sales (Soupy Sales, The Soupy Sales Show)
12. Ted Baxter (Ted Knight, Mary Tyler Moore Show)
13. Barney Fife (Don Knotts, Andy Griffith Show)
There you have it – a motley crew of goofballs if ever there was one. Please note that I consolidated Joe E. “Oo! Oo!” Ross’s two roles into one entry, as they were essentially the same character – both married to the same TV wife, and both working for the same producer, the legendary Nat Hiken. This was a unique circumstance, as the glory of Maynard G. Krebs did clearly not carry over for Bob Denver in his role as the just plain moronic Gilligan – and the less said about Ted Knight on Too Close For Comfort, the better!!
Soupy Sales, I realize, isn’t quite a character unto himself, but neither is he a stand-up comic or talk show host, folks I disqualified from consideration right off the bat, but he might just as well have been. Plus, he always, ALWAYS made me laugh, so…
Then there’s Gomer Pyle. He ALMOST made the cut, particularly when he was a supporting character on the Andy Griffith Show, but when he received his own spin-off, his personality became just a bit too candy-coated to be incessantly amusing – but the shift opened the way for the criminally under appreciated Frank Sutton to shine as the perpetually flustered Sgt. Carter. The Pyle show didn’t have the best writing (though they had far from the era’s worst), but the sitcom derived an awful lot of laughs from the pairing of this deliciously mismatched duo!
And you’ve probably caught on by now, but I really DO like that SpongeBob fella!
Those who just missed making the list include Cosmo Kramer, Homer Simpson, Mr. Fields (Abbott and Costello’s belligerent landlord), Al Lewis’ Sgt. Leo Schnauser, and the Fonz – who would’ve easily earned himself a spot had Happy Days been cancelled after a mere two seasons! Instead, he went on to do that stunt where he jumped the shark, and well – THAT’S a whole ‘another website, one with their OWN set of lists!…
(And on YOUR list of things to do, I’m hoping visiting Hembeck.com (or Fred’s MySpace page, or sending me a personal message) is on or near the very top of it! Or at least not TOO close to the bottom…)
Copyright 2006 Fred Hembeck
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