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By Christopher Stipp

January 20, 2006

13.1

Sometimes you just want to know that you’re good enough.

One of the things that made me reflect upon the fact that this week marks the two year point for me here at the ‘Shoot was a 1/2 marathon I trained for and ran in over this past weekend.

It was leveled at me last week by a Director Who Shall Remain Nameless that I was a fat, Internet writing virgin. Now, the primary exchange, the one that was volleyed at me which neccesitated an immediete response, was fairly harsh. I had taken a trailer to task for not doing what I thought, and felt, it should have and the director himself felt it neccessary to cast all sorts of aspersions on my character. It was a cannonball shot to the sack when it was implied that my position here of reviewing movie trailers was tantamount to being the custodian of a fancy restaurant; good enough to work there but not quite talented enough to be one enjoying the spoils of the party.

I was fine with his opinion. In fact, much respect goes out to Herr Editor-In-Chief for jumping into the middle of something that was directed at me. It was, and is, my first real encounter of dealing with someone who felt I was wrong about what I’ve written.

At first I doubted myself. I shouldn’t have but I did. I wondered if I may have said something for the sheer pleasure of saying it without thinking how it might’ve looked to someone else. After reviewing my initial remarks I saw that my opinion, like any good opinion should be, was backed up with evidence, citation and a little bit of humor.

I never thought myself capable of it but instead of going after this person with an explicative laced missive about how poorly it reflects on someone who doesn’t share the same opinion as they do and to go after someone so insignifigant as myself doesn’t solve the problem but would only incite me to reveal them for the petty person they are, I wrote a level-headed response explaining myself.

I first corrected my attacker by stating that I was neither corulent nor a virgin. Lord only knows how close he was to being right about the latter but I was genuinely kind in explaining what I do. This column is a place to talk about movie advertising in a way that has never been, and still isn’t, done on the Internet. Sure, other places give you a sentence here, a sentence there, but this space is about breaking things down to its essence.

I said some other things which really don’t pertain to the discussion here but I was actually proud that I met a fairly off-color e-mail with the sense that I felt pride in ownership of my words. I’m proud to be here and write every week, hopefully, for the delight of at least one of you. Even though U2 may play ONE every goddammed night I would hope that the thought that there is at least one fan who has never heard it played live is enough to keep things fresh.

And that’s what brings me to the 1/2 marathon I ran in last week. Never before has the accumulation of so much training, persistence, hard work put some things into perspective. I learned, no matter what, there is always going to be someone who is faster, stronger and better than I am. It’s a fact of life that’s better learned early than too late. I know that my writing may not always be great or that my jokes sometime suck but I work as hard as I do because I want to be better than most people. I may not finish in the top 10 but this is all I’ve got to give.

As mile 10 stretched into mile 12 and as I ran through downtown Tempe, Arizona to the finish line where the open street was beset on both sides with hundreds of cheering family members, loved ones and passersby I got it. I understood that I had that last amount of energy to give was only because of those who cared enough to come out and stick out their palm to give hope to every one of us to cross that finish line.

What does this have to do with a column dedicated to trouncing every crap move some studios make into enticing people to spend their money on BLOODRAYNE? It means that I have come this far in the past two years, regardless of how many people actually read what I have to say, only because of people who let me know that they like what I’m saying. Even if this is the last time I ever get a chance to write anything else I know that it wasn’t because I gave up.

Shit trailers need to be called out and I am ready for another year to dial it up.

Oh, for those wondering, and so I can brag, I did the Half in a time of 1:55:14.

Fat AND a virgin? I think not.


FLIGHT 93 (2006) Director:Paul Greengrass
Cast: Khalid Abdalla, Opal Alladin, Louis Alsamari, David Alan Basche, Richard Bekins, Starla Benford, Omar Berdouni, Susan Blommaert
Release: April 28, 2006
Synopsis: A real time account of the events on United Flight 93, one of the planes hijacked on 9/11 that crashed near Shanksville, Pennsylvania when passengers foiled the terrorist plot.
View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive with a dash of doubt. True story: there was a Muslim mosque that just built and opened last year in my neighborhood. Now, if you are accustomed to this then it ain’t nothin’ but a thang but a chicken wing. For me, though, it’s a little different. This is only the second one I’ve ever consciously seen in my life. Every time I drive by it and see those praying inside, on their knees, I can’t help but think about Iraq and 9/11 without fail, every time I do it. I just can’t shake this mental trigger and I’d like to take a temperature check of people out there: Who thinks that this movie reaaaallly needed to be made?

I understand that Oliver Stone and Co. are making their own World Trade Center movie and I am sure that will be a controversy all unto itself but this movie strikes me first as a little unsettling before I even see a frame of the trailer and then, second, as something that doesn’t really seem ready to be put through the machinations of a Hollywood production. Maybe that’s the point of art, to start a discussion over its merits as an interpretation. As such, then, it’s important to see what this movie actually triggers as you watch the trailer unfold.

“8:42 A.M.”

First, I already get a little sweaty in the recesses of my palms when I hear the voice of air traffic control giving flight 93 clearance to take off. If you already have phobias about taking off in these metal fishes and have some clue about what is about to strike these people’s world then you can already assume that the tension this trailer musters is full boar right from the beginning.

The graphics, the illusion that you’re looking at what an air traffic controller sees, of all those planes crisscrossing, their flight plans right on the mark, is simple, minimalist and free from any false hype from Voiceover Guy.

The moment when the sensationalism begins is when those in the towers start asking for a sit rep (I cannot say for sure if this was done in post-production or pulled from the actual tape) and get nothing back. The sonar blips, the white ghost trail triggering more emotion, is really effective as a narrative device as you know the plane’s course will soon make a U-turn back towards the east coast and, thus, where the drama will start rushing in.

I’m not too far off the mark as the air traffic controller chatter steps aside in the trailer’s presentation and we get the passengers themselves. If you listen carefully before that, though, you hear one of the hijackers say they have a bomb.

Next sound is of a phone ringing, the LED plane still turning in the background, and of a woman’s voice. She tells her sweetness that her plane has been hijacked. The sound field comes alive as we hear things about 2 planes, World Trade Center and all sorts of mumbles among those who are now on the flight. The talk from the shock of the whole event turns to mob mentality as the passengers start plotting their overthrow.

The plane’s LED symbol makes its way to the right of the screen as we get closer and closer to the image.

“09.11.2001”

The chatter reaches a fever pitch when, at the end, one of the women on board tells a loved one on the other end that they are about to storm the cockpit. The echo used at the end of her “I love you” was wholly unnecessary, in my opinion; very gauche and uncalled for. The parting shot, the only picture, of those on the plane all in their seats? I don’t know but it did make me feel uncomfortable.

I did love director Paul Greengrass’ BLOODY SUNDAY quite a bit and I hope that he’s able to do some of that very same thing here; showing respect for the event and trying to be as faithful as one can be to what really happened.


CHRISTMAS IN THE CLOUDS (2005) Director:Kate Montgomery
Cast: M. Emmet Walsh, Timothy Vahle, Mariana Tosca, Sam Vlahos, Sheila Tousey
Release: December 2, 2005
Synopsis: A classic comedy of mistaken identity and romance set during the holiday season at a ski resort that is owned and operated by a Native American Nation. Shot on location at The Sundance Resort in Utah, this is the first contemporary romantic comedy to feature an almost entirely American Indian cast.
View Trailer:
* Medium (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Sheepishly in love with this trailer. Yes, it’s almost February. Yes, this film came out almost a month ago. Yes, this may seem like I missed the boat while sleeping on the dock but I am a fan of this trailer.

I cannot control these things. I understand if you want me to turn in my sidearm and badge after reading this.

Really, when something strikes me in a way that makes me feel something good (I do try and keep the negativity around here to a low din) I want to see if I can’t find a way to let others know about it. Thus, this is what brings my gift to you in the form of this trailer for a film about mistaken identity.

I know, this storytelling technique has been used so much you might as well call it Hollywood’s Whore but I petition the court to let me try and explain how this one is different.

First of all, movies about the Native American experience have been limited. Sure, you have Sherman Alexie’s SMOKE SIGNALS which was not only an engaging story but it was poignant. You’ve got Rick Schroder’s movie that came out last year about an Indian boxer called BLACK CLOUD. You’ve also got THE NEW WORLD with Colin Farrell. However, all of these flicks had a kind of a serious undertone. Not that it’s bad but, damn, sometimes I want to pop the cranium into neutral and let you do all the work. This is where this movie comes in.

The trailer is good, in its own way, of getting right down to business with what’s going on. In the matter of 20 seconds you get that some old coot was pen pals (Who the hell are really pen pals anymore, anyway? Was this screenplay written in the 50s?) with this great looking woman. Ray is this codger’s son who looks more like the Love Connection match than he does and who runs an Indian resort for a living. Now, some representative from a prestigious travel guide is coming to the resort, played by none other than Coach Turnbull from BACK TO SCHOOL (Has anyone else slowed down that footage in that part of the movie to see that it was cold enough to see his breath? You can fool some of the people some of the time…), and is being expected by the staff from the resort.

Now, things get sticky when we’re told everyone is mistaking everyone for everyone else but normally here I roll my eyes and move on to something else worthy to talk about but I don’t. I find myself enjoying the comedy of errors.

Quickly following this we get a glance of some lovely ladies admiring the hired help, here played by a guy desperately trying to cut some wood with an ax, and when he takes off his shirt in hopes of impressing the women his ax doesn’t quite…perform. It’s so juvenile but I laugh. It amused me.

Popping in from out of nowhere is the label that this movie was selected for the Sundance Film Festival. Impressive but, come on, be proud. This needed to be one of the first things out of the gate, especially when there isn’t really anyone famous to hang your hat on. Just a suggestion…

“They have dreams, you know. Just like us…”

What’s more is this movie’s chef. Now I have always been partial to funny chefs, the first inspiration to me being the Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show, and this guy is no different. When a customer compliments said chef on the taste of a cooked bird the guy doesn’t miss a beat by not only giving the animal’s name but that he was also a pet. This, too, amused me.

It’s not going to change film, it’s not out to break serious ground, it’s just looks like something you could take your mom to see and judging by the fare that’s been bursting out of the cineplex in these winter months it’s nice to have this kind of option.


CACHE (2005) Director: Michael Haneke
Cast: Juliette Binoche, Daniel Auteuil, Maurice Bnichou
Release: January 11, 2006 (Limited)
Synopsis: Georges, who hosts a TV literary review, receives packages containing videos of himself with his family – shot secretly from the street – and alarming drawings whose meaning is obscure. He has no idea who may be sending them. Gradually, the footage on the tapes becomes more personal.
View Trailer:
* Medium (QuickTime)

Prognosis: French has never read so good. I like Juliette Binoche.

Sometimes having an international interest in the restorative powers of an actress who could handle herself no matter what part of the world she’s in makes me feel like the world isn’t nearly as complex as I think it is.

Case in point is here in this trailer. When and if you’ve seen CHOCOLAT, first of all I apologize, you know how much of a sensation that flick caused among women of a certain advanced age, the way that film did as well as it did was because it connected with people. This movie seems to do the same thing, made thousands of miles away, but with an entirely different premise.

The opening shot of the trailer is unique because we’re not looking at the pre-fabricated shot of a director who wants to establish their own vision but we are looking at an actual bit of the storyline; everything that it’s predicated on rests with this seemingly static shot of a an apartment.

However, one of the more distracting things about this trailer is that even before we’re given that shot we have to endure a few seconds worth of establishing, as slow as possible against a black background, what pedigree this film has. What festivals this movie has played at, how awesome it is, how many people thought this was the best, etc, is only as effective as the person who made the trailer. When you draw too much attention to it then it becomes a distraction and, unfortunately, this movie is riddled with slow moving and slow written hand jobs to this flick.

But, when the screen comes up and you see the apartment and you don’t know what is going on, you are at first confused but intrigued because there is nothing going on. The next shot is of a family having dinner with one another, ostensibly the ones living in the apartment itself. Screen fades to black and everything gets quiet as we sit through a mini-review, like it or not, from the New York Times.

Things get freaky when we find out that the guy who owns the place gets a video that runs 2 hours of the same footage we saw at the beginning. The husband and wife can’t explain or account for who sent it to them. Screen fades to black and everything gets quiet for yet another mini-review.

What seems to start out quite slow and exacting at first starts to speed up as this anonymous stalker begins to interfere with the husband and wife’s life. Whoever it is starts to send tapes to colleagues of this guy and thus begins a slow destruction of his life. Paranoia, pain and anger start to feed all into these people’s life and it is sharply captured in the last part of this trailer.

So what that it’s in French? As long as there is a good story afoot I am always in the mood for a little light reading.


WHY WE FIGHT (2005) Director: Eugene Jarecki
Cast: Ken Adelman, Joseph Cirincione, Anh Duong, Gwynne Dyer, John SD Eisenhower, Susan Eisenhower, Donna Ellington, Chalmers Johnson, William Kristol, Karen Kwiatkowski, Charles Lewis, John McCain
Release: January 20, 2006 (Limited)
Synopsis: He may have been the ultimate icon of 1950s conformity and postwar complacency, but Dwight D. Eisenhower was an iconoclast, visionary, and the Cassandra of the New World Order. Upon departing his presidency, Eisenhower issued a stern, cogent warning about the burgeoning “military industrial complex,” foretelling with ominous clarity the state of the world in 2004 with its incestuous entanglement of political, corporate, and Defense Department interests.
View Trailer:
* Medium (Flash)

Prognosis: Yesssss. If John McCain ran for president I am almost positive I would vote for that dude.

To hear him talk about issues that matter you can readily come to the conclusion that he really knows not only of what he speaks but that he has the scars, physically and emotionally, to take down any half-cocked panty waste like Rick Santorum in a steel cage match.

When this trailer opens up and you see Eisenhower saying that the people of America need to protect itself against the military industrial complex nearly 45 years ago you come to same conclusions I do: homeboy was right.

And, I have to give it up, the flash to a black screen, violins providing their manufactured tension all on their own, and the quick display that this is was a Sundance selection is perfectly timed. Get in, get out and get on with it.

Next we’ve got my boy McClain telling people what they already know about how the ideal America is supposed to work: our job isn’t to start fights but we have the power to spread democracy (not that anyone has ever sent us letters in bottles begging us to shoot over some of that good old fashioned De-Moc-Ro-Cey but that’s neither here nor there) all over the globe.

Big ups to the shots of the stealth bomber, ready to spread some of that democracy all over the glass parking lot it just created 5 fully armed fighters ago, and the quick display of the three quarters of a trillion dollar figure; there were a lot of zeroes on the screen.

The next part of this movie’s propaganda, and it is propaganda, don’t you let anyone tell you different or otherwise, talks about how lucrative war is to those who are able to get a piece of the spending pie. Frontline, my warm teddy of news programs which will always get dropped in this column like an atom bomb when it’s necessary, did a serious eye-opening expose on how Halliburton has profited from this “skirmish” in the mid-east. Profits indeed.

Now, among the cherry-picked sound bites from those who have seen this movie you have got some of the most interesting imagery which contrasts nicely the images from the first part of this trailer. You see modern day troops carrying each other out of vile battle conditions in Iraq as you’ve got voiceovers telling us all about that this is not about Bush or Clinton, it’s an all-of-us kind of problem.

One of the most poignant messages of this trailer is that war is increasingly becoming more privatized and codified. It’s one thing to have an organization like the Army controlling the all stages of integration but when outsourcing becomes a buzzword and then becomes how they do business on a day-to-day business this documentary becomes ever more relevant to public discourse regarding how and why we conduct our affairs as a nation.

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