By Christopher Stipp
May 7, 2004
YOU, SIR, ARE A WINNER
This week’s No-Prize goes to reader Donovan K. who illustrated, not to severely pun here, the difference between traditional animation, computer animation and where the new film, APPLESEED, reviewed last week, falls in-between:
“In your recent review of the APPLESEED trailer you were portraying the film as being traditional with some computer assistance. However it appears to be completely computer animated with the possible exception of some of the backgrounds. APPLESEED appears to be using a technology called NPR (Non Photorealistic Rendering) which attempts to simulate the look of traditional animation while still being 3D animation. The easiest way to tell something is a 3D animated film in the style of 2D is to look at the frame rate and the consistency of objects as they rotate. The higher the frame rate and the smoother the animation of detailed objects the more likely it is you are looking at something computer generated.â€
I have no idea if he’s a lying sack of crap but it sure sounds authoritative to me and it warranted some screen time here. If any of you would like to challenge Donovan’s assertion, or would like his home address to discuss the finer points about what I feel about people who look to correct me with him as he’s dangling out of his window by a bed sheet, feel free to write in.
This week was a good one for trailers. M. Night Shyamalan did a special last week during a showing of THE SIXTH SENSE and then again, this week, with UNBREAKABLE where he showed a new trailer for THE VILLAGE which, thankfully, helped to shore up the very first trailer which really left me confused and wondering where the hell everyone, besides Joaquin’s odd lip, was. If you were able to see it, and if you had TiVo you were able to blaze right to the good parts, hopefully you’ve seen this is looking pretty good so far. I know many people out there have read the script and have said the “twist†ending is a complete letdown but after SIXTH, SIGNS, and UNBREAKABLE, I am more than willing to postulate M. Night won’t disappoint. If he does, I’ll flambé my words right here and, like any good internet nerd under 16 would assert, vow never to see any of his movies again.
Comedy, as well, was at the top of my favorites list this week as I had a chance, and really only stumbled upon it, to see the trailer for HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE. Yes, it’s made by the same guy who did DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR, but before you run screaming that the apocalypse is nigh check out the trailer. It’s got a little sexual innuendo, some racial humor, some sticky bud references and a little bit more racial humor. I am ashamed for having gone back and watched it a few times but the catch phrase “thank you, come again†was calling me back again and again.
Excelsior!
Director: Chris Kentis
Cast: Blanchard Ryan, Daniel Travis, Saul Stein, Estelle Lau
Release: August 6, 2004 (limited)
Synopsis: Using the endless lapping waves of an infinite blue ocean as his canvas, writer/director/cinematographer Chris Kentis paints a terrifying portrait of primitive human fears and intimate survival in OPEN WATER, the astonishing project washed up from the shores of the truly independent underground. Based on the true story of two married scuba divers left behind by a careless boat crew, then speculating on the shark-infested journey that followed, this drama is so raw and chilling you may find yourself clinging to the moviegoer next to you. Featuring an unapologetically tight lens on the drifting couple, along with photography that uses no digital effects, the film’s unique flow of time slows and bends as water and sky change color and mood around them.
View Trailer:
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Progonosis: Positive.
What’s with divers getting left behind these days?
First we get some jamoke last week who was forgotten by his three(!) other diving buddies, hopefully all crossed off Christmas card lists, and now, in the trailer for OPEN WATER, we get these two people are left behind during a scuba diving expedition due to a faulty head count. Complete ignorance and letting the fact that it wasn’t one but two heads that went missing, that these two divers realized they were left behind in supposed shark infested waters makes the premise all the more intriguing.
I bring this all up because when there is a suspension of disbelief, usually when watching a movie like JAWS, for example, we are more apt to feel comfortable in our repeat viewings because of the circumstances surrounding how it’s really just a maniacal shark that attacks ruthlessly. When an element of truth bubbles up to the surface, let’s say in a based on real life events kind of film, coupled with a current story that validates that this could happen at any moment, it makes the buy-in easier and makes the payoff for that investment, if it’s done well, that much more believable and enjoyable. This trailer evokes all these things.
The DV work here makes great use of the medium. The opening shot of the ocean with foreboding clouds, while good for postcards, does the standard duty of foreshadowing of what’s to come. When the shot fades and the subtle score pipes in, things just get better as the premise is set up (having the Based on True Events line plugged in here helps to establish some cred early for all that comes after) and the filmmaker uses reviews from other publications to let everyone know that his movie won’t completely suck. I liked the visual shimmer effect with the words from movie critics as it’s a small, but noticeable, effort to create a mood for the trailer. After the film’s reputation and critical history are out of the way, lighting flashes and crashes onto the screen and gets to meat of the matter.
While we never get much dialogue there’s a whole lot of screaming, “Oh my God!”‘s, general histrionics and hyperventilating, there’s also a taste of danger; there are flashes of jellyfish, an unsheathing knife, a shark, but there is also, at the end, a strange serenity. Things are calm and gentle with the same heavy cloud cover that keep the tension afloat until everything fades to black.
Most of the time with low-budget fare you can usually tell that’s the case and it’s alright. As moviegoers we sometimes forgive things and buy in a little more with a story that looks fairly original just to see how things are put together in the end. With OPEN WATER, a severely low budget indie, the trailer evokes great imagery and a superb premise all in under two minutes.
ALICE’S MISADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND (2004)
Director: Robert Rugan
Cast: Will Keenan, Maggie Henry, Kyle Holman, Chris Garrison
Release: Fall, 2004
Synopsis: Life doesn’t make all that much sense to Alice. The answers to life’s little questions seem out of her reach, and she is beginning to question not only her own personal decisions, but an ability to understand the world around her. But when the solution to Alice’s dilemma comes in the form of a bizarre book delivered by a stranger in a gas mask and chemical suit, she doesn’t know exactly what to think.Alice launches into a bizarre journey into the heart of…Wonderland, where a once playful array of characters has “changed” into a horrific collection of the deranged, delusional, and desperate.
Between a schizophrenic obsessed with game shows; a cave-dwelling guru searching for enlightenment while embracing a hunger for terrible violence and war; a couple of conspiracy junkies looking for a scapegoat; a collection of ethnically diverse children with a bit of a hearing problem and a chip on their shoulders; an albino manservant trying to start a revolution; and a Queen that’s not real comfortable with her/his sexuality, the last thing Alice needs is a vending machine that won’t take her money, after all…the only thing she’s really looking for is…change.
View Trailer:
* Low, High (QuickTime)
Progonosis: Positive.
There is something so strange and different about this retelling of Alice in Wonderland that I could not help myself from being infinitely amused by the quick pace and originality of this film.
The trailer opens with Alice speaking off camera. She wishes aloud that she would like to be able to know, should life be compared to a series of multiple choice questions, all the right answers. Then, as we see Alice, stuck in an office environment, from out of nowhere we get the rabbit, at least that what I think it is as I’m trying to do a one-to-one comparison, dressed in a white bio-hazard outfit clad with a green gas mask; who gives Alice a book with the answers she’s looking for; and then decries how he is late a few times in expected succession. By the time you say to yourself “what the fu…” Alice is in an elevator shaft, plunging and screaming every inch, as she ends up knocking on a big red door which looks straight out a 30’s speakeasy. A password is asked of her, a confused look ensues, and then, not missing a beat, Alice is in the middle of a party but it is really not just any party. This one stars, and is being run emceed, by a cross-dresser that looks closely like Frank-N-Furter’s slightly uglier looking twin brother. I don’t remember the Queen being a man, but it works. It’s amusing and it tinkers with convention in a way that my demented sensibilities found acceptable.
From there we get some great and amusing effects work, one shot in particular is a Princess Leia-esque video message, not to mention some amusing dialogue. Some of the most notable and delightful bantering comes from the Mad Hatter who is played, in this version, as an odd looking man with a white, vampiric eyeball. Again, it works. We also get a guy with a perfectly puffed coif, almost looking like a screen version of the X-Men’s nemesis, Arcade, without trying, in a white suit who I can possibly assume was, well, I just don’t know. There are so many characters that are introduced from here that I just couldn’t keep up with trying to place who was who. It was for the best as the trailer then goes to the point where a hodgepodge of clips starts bursting and popping off the screen. In one of those moments, however, I enjoyed seeing a little black and white tile floor action and it reminded me of the oddness that was Tom Petty’s video for “Don’t Come Around Here No More.” Both of these things embrace the necessarily disjointed ethos of Carroll’s work. As it pertains to the film, there is a danger in using source material that’s been done before as criticism usually compares it with past work and places it in line with other interpretations. However, there is also an element of risk of facing the challenge of not only being on par with other productions, but the pressure to exceed an already high expectation; this all, however, could result in showing how well the job can be done. As singing theater beau Hugh Jackman found out when he took the part of Curly in Oklahoma! (who knew Wolverine had the mutant ability to carry a tune better than any pompous pop star on the open market) there is something to be said about talent that shines through regardless of the material. Obviously, without being privy to knowing how the dialogue and story are cobbled together all I have to go off are the visuals. The entire appearance of this film is eye-catching as the colors are lush, full and vibrant. The cinematography pulls the attention ever so slightly and the trailer is paced quick enough to be intriguing without ever becoming dull.
Director: Robert Mickelson
Cast: Mackenzie Astin, Marguerite Moreau, Mark Fite, David Rasche
Release: May 7, 2004 (Limited)
Synopsis: Kat (Marguerite Moreau), a brand new journalism grad, has landed her first big job. It’s in Hawaii and she couldn’t be more excited to get away from her father (David Rasche) and his expectations. All it requires is an upbeat personality, good instincts and a lot of perseverance. But Kat is finding the work harder than she ever imagined. For one thing, her prey – an elusive big wave surfer named “The Monk†– doesn’t intend to be found, and the friendly locals are being somewhat less than helpful. Her uninvited boyfriend (Mackenzie Astin) is driving her crazy, her ex-surfer guide (Mark Fite) has been on the losing end of too many waves, the geek she’s reporting to (Adam Scott) is falling in love with her, and she’s wanted by the FBI. What’s a girl to do?! Kat realizes too late that finding “The Monk†will cost her more than she could ever afford. But can she foresee that she’ll wind up finding herself?
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Progonosis: Positive for your significant other. If that happens to be a man, then he’ll hate it.
Ever get to the point when you’ll just flip a coin and decide whether or not you’ll see something?
This isn’t one of the films but I am just wondering, nonetheless. I am confident in my assertion that this film is not for me, my demographic, gender, sex or mental prowess. I’m not boasting some higher knowledge or that I’m above a movie like this but I do know that this film, if you saw it on a marquee somewhere on a Friday night with your old lady, would be one you would want to pick and I’ll tell you why: it’s got enough chick in it to qualify as “one of her choices” and contains the best possibility for good ogling of chicks in bikinis to keep you interested.
Taking a look at it from the beginning, in an almost Virginia Wolf, “Mrs. Dalloway,†stream-of-consciousness sort of way, the trailer opens up with the generic steel drum/island beat from the WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S soundtrack. We get some fairly generic surfing footage until some no name cracks wise about getting a surf report when the mofo is standing right in front of the waves. It’s a lame joke and the trailer has now burned about 20% of its fuel. We then get the set-up: a reporter of sorts, a lady no less, is going out to find The Monk, an elusive, misanthropic big wave surfer. Unless this is for a magazine or a documentary dedicated to the sport itself, which I hope it is for believability sake, I’m not sure why the hell the woman, played by the fabulously good looking Marguerite Moreau, from WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER, is packed on a plane and gets sent off to an island looking for a someone who may or may not exist. At this point I’m just hoping I get some additional face time with Marguerite and we do. In spades.
We get Marguerite looking pretty on a web cam as I hope it’s one of those X-10’s that’ll be used in a risqué manner later, Marguerite looking cute in the pool, and Marguerite looking good just hanging out on land. The only thing I could see these shots doing for the plot is that it helped with was establishing the fact that Marguerite is a more appealing, and better sounding, clone of the Leah Remini variety.
Now, for the dudes, we start getting our due, however slight it is. We get some screen time with Jim Turner, aka Randee of the Redwoods fame, and before you can say “I know that guy” Marguerite takes her top off. Twice. And as you can stare long enough, trying to make out something behind her suit, David Rasche, who we all know from the ever so solid “Sledge Hammer” series (which, in my own opinion, was a brilliant show to me at 12 years old), and we even get some lingering moments of a man in nothing but a jock who turns out to be one of the guys from “Freaks and Geeks.” This all scores some points on a delight-o-meter (everything but the jock) as does the remaining bits of this trailer which show Marguerite looking beautiful on a surfboard, Marguerite getting it on with some dude, Marguerite stripping yet again (man, this movie better be rated R), and by this time in the trailer you know the rest.
The possibility of possible nip slippage, however unlikely it is, is enough for me to recommend simply as a date movie. If you’re a guy and want to see an actual surf movie go rent ENDLESS SUMMER, parts one and two, which will give you a better story than I’m feeling this is cracked up to be. It’s not a slam against the movie but the film wasn’t made for a pack of guys. It was made for your girl to drag you, kicking and screaming, against your will, to see.
Director: Adam McKay
Cast: Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, David Koechner, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Fred Willard, Chris Parnell, Kevin Corrigan, Tara Subkoff, Maya Rudolph
Release: July 9, 2004
Synopsis: Will Ferrell stars as Ron Burgundy, the top-rated anchorman in San Diego in the ‘70s. When feminism marches into the newsroom in the form of ambitious newswoman Veronica Corningstone (Applegate), Ron is willing to play along at first—as long as Veronica stays in her place, covering cat fashion shows, cooking, and other “female” interests. But when Veronica refuses to settle for being eye candy and steps behind the news desk, it’s more than a battle between two perfectly coiffed anchor-persons…it’s war.
View Trailer:
* Small (Windows Media, Real Player)
Prognosis: Positive.
To drop a little Aaron Neville, I don’t know much but I know I love Will Ferrell.
The man has yet to start doing project after project like Ben Stiller but he is visible enough right now that he isn’t wearing out any welcome at all. ANCHORMAN looks to just keep Will’s popularity as a comedic actor on a steady roll. The trailer begins with Will just being Will. He’s a television anchor who doesn’t know he’s on the air. That’s it. However, somehow, someway, Will makes it funny just by employing his natural mannerisms as he sits idle. When he tells a woman off camera that she looks good and that “maybe don’t wear a bra next time” it just fits. Even though it doesn’t look very amusing to scribe it down on paper or try and convey it to someone in a conversation but Will works by taking easy, simple lines and filtering them through his own comedic sensibility. Shortly after Will’s character learns he’s on the air the trailer just sets up the rest of the story but it gives us good looks at how Ron Burgundy is going to act throughout the rest of the movie.
He’s a quintessential seventies misogynistic pig bachelor who is boisterous, obnoxious and represents everything that was wrong with sexual harassment. It’s great. From cannonballs into his pool during a party, his wolfish moustache that sits like a remnant of the porn industry around that time, to his slapping of a strange woman’s ass and exclaiming “love that fanny” Will embraces the role in a way that I hope works well in a full length feature. He’s the new go-to guy for comedy and for good reason. Apart from the box office grosses, Will actually helps those around him look better. It is for this reason why having Fred Willard, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Vince Vaughn, and Christina Applegate is a good thing. The latter I mention only because it will probably help a guy’s chances of seeing the move (Going To The Movies With A Lady tip #46: When seeing a trailer for a new film that you know your woman will probably say no to, increase your chances of seeing said movie by grabbing hold of any moment when a woman appears on the screen in the trailer and mention that moment more furiously than a dog whipping a caught bird back and forth in its mouth.)
This is the second film Ferrell has helped pen, the first being the guilty pleasure A NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY, and is credited for having a large hand in creating. It will be interesting to see how well he’s written his own part should it work out or if he should just stick to letting other people create vehicles for him.
HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE (2004)
Director: Danny Leiner
Cast: John Cho, Kal Penn, Anthony Anderson, Ethan Embry, Luis Guzmán, Neil Patrick Harris, Jamie Kennedy, David Krumholtz, Ryan Reynolds, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Fred Willard
Release: July 30, 2004
Synopsis: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle follows two likeable underdogs who set out on a Friday night quest to satisfy their craving for White Castle hamburgers and end up on a mind-altering road trip of epic proportions.
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Prognosis: Positive.
This movie looks like it’s going to be fairly amusing. At the very least, HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE will get a lot of play in dormitories and high school sleepovers in the secondary DVD market where the dialogue will be memorized and be retold to close friends until any semblance of humor is sucked dry.
I’ve said it a few times but, again, comedy is all very subjective. You, on the one hand, appreciate the humor of the PINK PANTHER series. I, to provide a contrast, love jokes that are base, juvenile, and will point to STRANGE BREW as one of the comedic stalwarts in my collection. Should you find yourself pooh-poohing movies that you feel are beneath you, you’re probably not going to like this movie. Should this be the case, feel free to leave now, no hard feelings, and I’ll see you again bright and early next Friday, right here. For those of you who are still here I will tell you why this is going to be worth seeing, in order as they happen in the trailer.
1. Unknowingly making fun of girls’ appearance is good way to start things off nice and easy and always make for good comedic relief. (For additional examples, look to a good portion of LIAR, LIAR and the grocery store scene from THEY LIVE)
Seeing how this movie is about Harold and Kumar it should stand to reason that we ought to get to know them a little better. Here it is: Harold is Asian and Kumar is Indian. They are both losers and go to college. With the deep character studies out of the way, it’s off to making fun of their ethnicities.
2. Making fun of other people’s nationalities, as long as it’s done amusingly, will always be funny. For example, in this trailer a cop stands in front of Kumar and asks him what kind of name is Kumar and whether it’s spelled with, “5 o’s or 2 u’s?” Priceless.
When Kumar and Harold decide to tune in and drop out of consciousness with a little marijuana, and the subsequent drug trip transports them to a jungle, clad with a cheetah (just watch it, ok?), it brings us to point three.
3. Drugs, especially pot, when used for comedy, no matter what, will never get old.
The two guys leave their apartment in search of the delicious squares of slider heaven and begin their journey. So far I hope you’re keeping up with the plot. Let me recap: essentially they get high and look for food. As they depart from their apartment, debating just outside their door about whether one should go back and get their cell phone, it just reinforces point number three. And what would a road trip flick be without some nudity, right? Even though I could care less how the trailer suddenly has Harold and Kumar in some blonde’s bedroom, it reminds me of another point taught religiously in the Todd Phillips School of Moviemaking.
4. Nudity is next to godliness. ‘Nuff said.
While the only real mild annoyance here is the alterna-lite rock jam that is placed near the middle of the trailer, and runs throughout the rest, a real treat that takes the attention away from the music comes in the form of Neil Patrick Harris aka Doogie Howser (Who taught me, if ever in a fight, to pop a jive turkey’s eardrums by cupping a hand and bitchslapping the side of their head). It’s good to see Neil playing along as himself, most certainly in a self-effacing manner, for some good, genuinely amusing moments, however brief they may be.
As we near the end, the trailer still packed with some good sound bites, “thank you, come again” springs to mind, and there is some really funny physical humor that defies any real good description with words. What really sold me, though, and this is fact, was how they did not give out the actors’ names in the movie. Instead, the voice over tells us the movie stars “that Asian guy from AMERICAN PIE”, “that Indian guy from VAN WILDER,” and is directed by, “the white guy who directed DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR?” I realize some sect of the movie population will be offended by those kinds of introductions and there will be many others who will try to convince me that VAN WILDER was actually a funny movie (Ryan Reynolds has a cameo in this film, too) but you just can’t help but feel sorry for those kinds of people. It’s a comedy, after all, and if we can’t make fun of Asian guys, white guys (of which “The Chappelle Show” has cornered the market on white guy jokes) or any kind of ethnicity at all then where are we, really, as a culture and nation? This is the kind of crap that will always be funny and if it is seen as anything other than good-natured ribbing then that’s their problem as those kinds of people go into their hole, watch the FRIENDS finale a few more times, convince themselves there will never be another comedy that good again, and have a good cry.
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