By Christopher Stipp
March 12, 2004
GETTING WARMER
It’s nice to see the studios start rolling out and unfurling the trailers for their tentpoles. While I have yet to see the ones for I, ROBOT or the new SPIDER-MAN 2 be released, I know it’s just a matter of time as the latest for HELLBOY, MAN ON FIRE and even a new ALIENS VS. PREDATOR debuted this week. It’s nice to be coming out of winter and looking ahead to the cool confines of the movie house and unplug. Some have their feelings about summer movies and about their place in modern cinema, but if you take a look at my trailer-o-the-week, DAY AFTER TOMORROW, you will see why it may be a good thing to be paying attention at this year’s crop of summer flicks.
I won’t bother you with a needless rant, as there really isn’t anyone to pick on this week, but I will say thank you to all those who sent in their thoughts about PIZZA: THE MOVIE. There were some shining comments from a few of you and I have encapsulated the majority of them below. For redundancy purposes, I intentionally kept it to the two comments that were indicative of the whole. It’s good to see small filmmakers putting it up for those to judge and I hope if there is a movie project that needs some pimping and you’d like the world to know, e-mail me.
Oh, lest I forget, if you find some downtime this week and want to see what the hell the rest of the world is up to in terms of film, check out Apple.com’s QuickTime and look for a film by the name of CASSHERN. I have no clue what they’re saying, I have no idea what is going on, and I have an even lesser handle on what the movie’s about but there is something happening in that trailer that makes me wish I studied Japanese in high school and college instead of knowing how to ask for the location of a bathroom at my local Chi-Chi’s. If any of you out there can translate it, I would love to know what this movie is all about. It’s probably why I gave a little love to SHAOLIN SOCCER. The movie deserves it as much as you do in checking it out.
Director/Writer: Donald Gregory
Cast: Craig Wisniewski, Jason Muzie, Daniela Mangialardo, Alex Aco Adzioski, Eva Conrad, Sharon Stookey, Thadeous Pudlik
Release: May 29, 2004
Synopsis: Three years after graduating, Kevin Miller’s crush on a girl from high school has kept him from moving on with his life. When she shows up in town on break from college, he realizes this might just be his last chance ever to win her heart, only she doesn’t even remember him. His bizarre, sometimes annoying, and generally unhelpful best friend hatches a scheme to get them together. But for it to work, Kevin will have to give up his comfortable boring life and step into the crazy world of pizza delivery.
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Progonosis: Conflicted.
After numerous and, at times, humorous, lamentations on the movie trailer for this film, I have culled together the most astute critiques on this movie; that would be a sum of two critiques, however, as it represents the exact number of reviews from people who took the time to cobble one together. Kudos to you, sir and madam. I have seen ads for this movie on a few different sites and so it’s nice to see that this effort is getting an advertorial push from the filmmakers admonishing me to check the film out. While judging from the following opinions about the flick may be a little on the unflattering side but I can see exactly where they’re coming from. If you get a chance, have a quick look for yourself and see if these two people are even on target.
Theron N. says:
“Prognosis: Depends on the viewer. From the trailer, it’s clear that this movie suffers from all that is good and bad about low-budget independent films from inexperienced screenwriters and filmmakers. Most people will see the low production values and hear the precious dialogue delivered stiltedly and tune out. Others will see and hear the same things and breathe a sigh of relief and think, “Thank God, something that’s pure and funny from someone who cares about more than product, units sold and profit margins.” You know who you are…â€
Buck is a little more blunt when he adds:
“After sitting through a horrendous, unredeemable small independent film last year, in an easy genre at that, I have no slack for these things. If there’s some goodness to be had, it better be obvious.
Sound track – passable
Lighting – passable, for a small film
Writing – hackneyed
Timing – poor
Acting – mediocre to bad
Comedy value – 1 out of 10
Worst moment – either ripping off Chris Rock’s old man bit, or the fact that the title’s true relation to the actual content of the trailer is desperation.
We made a poor romantic comedy, with bad acting, and now we need to tie in some other theme from the script…uh…uh…I know! Pizza! We ate some! We’ll film a couple more pizza scenes!
Why, desperate film-makers? Why torture yourselves?â€
While I wasn’t necessarily sold on buying the movie outright, as that’s how it is going to make its way into circulation, you have to at least respect the effort. Outside of that, however, the trailer has its moments where I am actually interested in knowing more. Now, if there were more of those moments I would actually rebuke Buck, but he’s right on a few levels.
Director: Brian Dannelly
Cast: Jena Malone, Mandy Moore, Macaulay Culkin, Patrick Fugit, Heather Matarazzo, Eva Amuri, Martin Donovan, Mary-Louise Parker
Release: April 9, 2004
Synopsis: Good girl Mary (Jena Malone) can’t believe it when she gets pregnant by her newly-gay boyfriend. She also can’t believe the actions of her popular, relentlessly devout best friend, Hilary Faye (Mandy Moore), who’s looking after her wheelchair-bound brother Roland (Macaulay Culkin), attempting to convert adamantly Jewish Cassandra (Eva Amurri), and trying to snag cute newcomer Patrick (Patrick Fugit), a hip skateboarding missionary. By the time Mary’s secret is revealed, Hilary Faye has gone to extremes to get the outsiders expelled from school, with spectacular results, and Mary is forced to decide what’s worth believing in the first place. In this dark comedy, a young, talented cast comes together to get Saved.
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Progonosis: What would Jesus say?
Where would we be without the teenage comedy in our cinematic arsenal?
Now, while most seek to place the next “it†actor/actress in a project, this trailer, from the beginning, explodes with something that seeks to take the teen genre in a more introspective direction. Dealing with issues of religion and conformity as it pertains to the youth sect SAVED! looks to take on some of the very same issues of spirituality in a time of teenage angst that FOOTLOOSE did in the early eighties. Although, there’s no dancing Kevin Bacon going ape shit and getting all musky in a warehouse or even a Chris Penn looking like a hapless moron that needs a good beat down with a tire iron. No, here you get Mandy Moore, looking just as good, if not better, than her wicked stepsister, Jessica Simpson, as she effortlessly passes as a God-fearing young woman at a Christian high school who is looking to spread the good word of the Lord to the youth.
From the beginning, and just moments before we get a good gander at Mandy getting sweaty in gym class, we get a peek at where-the-hell-has-he-been Patrick Fugit and Macaulay Culkin, who is bound to a wheelchair. I have yet to see Macaulay’s big screen return, PARTY MONSTER, which was his first after a nine-year hiatus from the silver screen but it looks like this may be the film where I might actually willingly can see what a nine year hiatus from the silver screen can do to an actor. It’s probably wrong to take so much pleasure in the possibility for a moment of schadenfreude, to maybe see how much his star has burned out, but I am hopeful he has some of that same charm as he did so long ago. Patrick Fugit, on the other hand, looking very Michael Kelso, is someone else I haven’t seen for a little while and am just as curious to know if ALMOST FAMOUS wasn’t just a fluke for this kid. He was certainly better to watch than Goldie Hawn’s daughter, thou shall never speak of that evil directly, and I was disappointed for a while that he didn’t do/get picked to star in anything else for a period of time.
So, after the players are established in this trailer we get some of the movie and what it’s all about. There is some lustful, teenage urgings, some catfight-ery, a little bit of genuine emotion and a very engaging set of supporting characters. No one seems to be doing something completely irrelevant to the point of selling this film. Although, and this next statement goes to any creator of any trailer, and I didn’t think I would have to bring this up, but since some of you can’t seem to grow up beyond second grade, here it is: when a character makes a misstep or a piece of information is so important that you want to get an audience’s attention it is not necessary to always have the sound of a needle being dragged over a vinyl LP as an exclamation mark. Soon, most the kids you’re selling this to aren’t going to know what the hell that sound is and where the hell will you be then?
SAVED! ends on a nice note and it’s something I would immediately recommend to young’uns in lieu of THE PRINCE AND ME. Just because teens are youthful doesn’t mean they need, or necessarily want, a diet of crap cinema. Most do, but this movie looks like something the drama and art nerds (A side note to the youth: Morrissey is not a god and Robert Smith sold his soul to the devil when HP came a-knockin.’). Take it for what you will but the trailer lingers for a bit after you’ve seen it and that’s a good thing.
Director: Peter Howitt
Cast: Pierce Brosnan, Julianne Moore, Parker Posey, Michael Sheen, Frances Fisher, Nora Dunn
Release: April 30, 2004
Synopsis: Maybe getting married first is the best way to fall in love. As divorce attorneys, Audrey (Moore) and Daniel (Brosnan) have seen love gone wrong in all its worst case scenarios. So, how bad could their chances be?
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Progonosis: Your parents will like this. I liked THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR.
I am a big fan of Pierce Brosnan and believe he has a good combination of actual acting ability and a great physical form that the ladies seem to really go for. (Although, and this is just dude to dude, he could use a serious waxing.) When you look back on his list of film credits in the past 15 or so years, the man has been involved with a lot of television and some really hit or miss movies. He made his mark as Remington Steele and he’s been a good switch hitter ever since between small and big screen.
This leads me into the dissection of THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION which sees him paired up with Julianne Moore who I first saw, I mean really saw, in Robert Altman’s SHORT CUTS way back in ’93. The two of them here, whether you choose to believe me or not, appear to really work well together.
As the Boomers get older and seem to be marginalized in much the same way as kiddies and families do, it’s nice to be able and have them enjoy some lighthearted fare when not being pushed and shoved out of the way as the big actioneer in the theater next door bleeds its audio into the surrounding theaters. What is of interest to me here is that Pierce seems to be playing a doltish oaf and not the self-same dashing leading man he has played to death in his other roles. Whenever I recall any of his other humorous moments I am reminded of MRS. DOUBTFIRE and, while not a cinematic benchmark, it did give Pierce a moment to show that he could be funny in an indirect way.
Julianne Moore, however, seems to be stretching a bit in this role. She plays a brash and hard-edged divorce lawyer who seems to spurn every man she meets until she realizes that what she really wants is a man who is her antithesis. Great. Now if they could only bottle the same formula for the common cold that would be something to crow about. I would go on about what she does in this trailer, but it would be a waste. Just envision every chick flick you’ve ever seen where an oil/vinegar relationship gets mixed in and there you go. Just add and stir.
Look, I am not blind to the fact that this trailer basically gives you the set-up, the crisis of the plot and its dénouement in full Technicolor but there is a time and place for these kinds of movies; as such, you should plan accordingly. Cinema shouldn’t always be about elevating the mind. There are moments when you want to read the funnies instead of doing the crossword puzzle. When you want to unplug and watch Most Extreme Elimination Challenge instead of watching Frontline. For every IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE there is a NOTTING HILL just waiting to do its part.
Director: Stephen Chow
Cast: Stephen Chow, Ng Mang-Tat, Li Hui, Zhou Wei
Release: March 26, 2004
Synopsis: Shaolin was an art practiced through the ages; a skill mastered in the heart. In SHAOLIN SOCCER, it is so much more than a philosophy for six young believers. It is a complete way of life. But as the world changed around them, and Honor and Discipline become forgotten virtues, they lose their way –except for one loyal follower, Sing (Chow). With the help of a former soccer star, he reunites his old, out of shape, misfit friends, and recruits a young woman with extraordinary Kung Fu skills. Together, they’re out to combine the ancient power of Shaolin with the modern game of soccer and in the process, just might take the world’s most popular sport to its most extreme.
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Progonosis: About F*ckin’ Time.
Right away, there’s some Shaolin ass-kicking going on and you can never go wrong when you start things off on this kind of foot. I can start by ranting against the preposterous reasons why this film has seen its release date shoved back more times than Star Jones at a salad bar, I mean check out the official site. They have this movie listed as coming out on August 15. What in the hell is that all about? I could go on but this is all about the trailer.
In a wonderful and aesthetically pleasing directorial effort, Stephen Chow has brought a film about martial artists playing soccer players playing other martial artists playing soccer players to new heights. Obviously, there has only been the one height but with a film that could have easily been one that could’ve sat deep in the foreign film bin mixed with the other imports from Hong Kong with covers that riff on nearly every other good import Stephen brings something very unique to the cinematic canon.
“…Except for one.†I love that. I always dig it, in any kind of movie, where there’s one person who is the impetus for a chemical reaction that sets the action in motion. They may do it horribly, be absolutely cringe inducing to see it executed, but when done right it is a pleasure to behold. I just have to believe, just by seeing the trailer, that Chow has the right idea.
What else I can see of Chow’s style is the John Woo influenced slo-mo’s of people walking with their nice suits and ties flapping like harbingers of toughness and not the articles of annoyance they are when you’re trying to hold them down. While it’s visually distracting it has nothing on the blazingly quick cut scenes that are employed to sell the movie. I realize, yes, that this is a foreign film and you really can’t show the people talk lest it’s dubbed or quickly subtitled because you’re trying to sell this movie to a lot of different but screw that. GOODBYE, LENIN! did the same damn thing with its culling from the moments of the film where not a lot of people were speaking but it did use subtitles and it did not change the way I felt about wanting to pay to see the movie. The trailer for SHAOLIN SOCCER, though, uses some great moments to showcase its strength as a worthy import to watch and I am positive there was much more where that came from. Using a tagline that says “get ready to Kick Some Grass†is something that would’ve sent me into the theater circa 1982 when I was barely able to comprehend the English language but I just can’t help feeling a deep sense of resignation at how awful this movie has been presented to the American public. You can even buy the damn movie, although many stateside retailers have been delicately asked by Miramax to stop, but what’s stopping me, so far, is that when you see a trailer like this it just makes you want to see it up on a really big screen in all its splendid magic.
Director: Roland Emmerich
Cast: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Sela Ward, Arjay Smith, Tamlyn Tomita, Austin Nichols
Release: May 28, 2004
Synopsis: Dennis Quaid plays a climatologist who tries to figure out a way to save the world from abrupt global warming. He must get to his young son (Gyllenhaal) in New York, which is being taken over by a new ice age. Emmy Rossum co-stars as the love interest of Jake Gyllenhaal’s character, a member of an academic decathlon team.
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Progonosis: Positive.
Roland Emmerich. The name can conjure up images of aliens and Mel Gibson in a more innocent time in his career. In others, it can produce a vile torrent of obscenities as it pertains to his choices of projects and their big dollar sticker price and their simpleton taste. They’re right on both as I enjoyed INDEPENDENCE DAY with great popcorn delight and avoided GODZILLA which was a stink bomb that I avoided with the grace of a matador. I mean really, let’s take a good look at that one. There was more merchandising that was, quite literally, whored like it was going to be the next big thing and enough talk about how they weren’t showing the entire lizard king to generate buzz that it was doomed from the words, “yeah, that’s a great marketing plan.â€
Since then Herr Emmerich went back to summer epics with a better eye for what works and he gave us THE PATRIOT. While not necessarily something you can merchandise with action figures (Make the turncoats run in terror! Your musket ball rifle shoots real balls of fire as you lodge metal balls into your archenemies’ scrotum! Now with Kung-Fu grip and scurvy!), he learned a lesson or two from his previous outings. That’s where THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW comes in.
Again, while not your average summer picture, there is an element that the movie has to work as a film if it expects to generate some income. The previous incarnation of this trailer was a wonder to watch and this one is just pure icing on this Betty Crocker dessert treat. It starts off with such delicacy that I am reminded of UNBREAKABLE which really took its time with putting forth the plot. When you see this trailer you can almost feel the water that is being held back behind this dam.
We get to see Donny Darko himself make an entrance into this version of the trailer as does Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid? Does he still make movies? Is he still allowed? The last one I can quickly rattle off on the top of my head, no joke, is INNERSPACE. I know he has since done some good work in TRAFFIC and FAR FROM HEAVEN, but man, I hope he’s as good as the trailer. But, don’t confuse flattery with complete lust for the film.
It has the feel, as well, of an ARMAGEDDON or even a DEEP IMPACT. I’m sure someone here has seen either of these two. I was suckered into seeing both. So, what is one to make of another movie that shows the “total destruction of humanity?†I don’t know the answer to this but I am more inclined to give this film a chance than I am, say, another one made by Mimi Leder. Fool me once…
Some of the best parts of the trailer are what I feel make a great trailer: a hint of some plot, some bombastic speech that usually includes the line “if we don’t some action now…,†and some frenetic cut scenes. A great moment in the trailer here is when one of the guys, who I am not real sure I know very well as an actor, and, thus, is most likely to die somewhere near the middle or end, says of a thunderstorm that it has been, “raining like this for three days now.†That’s completely cool. Kind of gets the hairs to rise on the neck. From there it’s all unrelated moments, slapped together in no particular order, and pasted with a great trailer score.
This is one is close to being a benchmark for what trailers should do and look like, but there is just something that it has to prove, that it can be better than all of the other end of days movies, before it can hold its place as a movie worthy enough to be played again and again without feeling like you’ve been sold solely on clever advertising.
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