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By Christopher Stipp

March 5, 2004

MARCHING FORWARD

Finally.

Are we done now with the Oscar pimping, primping and publicizing? Yes, we know Billy Crystal had as much relevance as an Apple IIe, that Joan Rivers and her suckling fawn, Melissa, have as much command of simple facts and decorum as a brain-dead ten-year-old with OCD in a Precious Moments boutique, and that Owen Wilson, Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Will Ferrell were the funniest parts of the night. Aside from that, and what your feelings are of Bill Murray getting completely robbed of his Oscar, which really…

It is all over and it’s time to press forward.

With the awards season coming to a close, it is fact that it is now time for the faucet of films to open wide and flow like wine. Some great movies are starting to open and already there are some good trailers for next week (ready for something from Japan, perchance?). I am just glad I made it through the dead season with my will to live still intact so let me know what you thought of this week’s offerings.

And this brings me to my next topic of conversation. The first review this week is a new film from a young director that is coming to a DVD player near you. There is no actual review beneath the cursory information because you are going to write it for me. Allow me to explain.

In Chicago where I grew up, there was a legendary radio host by the name of Jonathon Brandmeier. He wasn’t a shock jock but he was a mesmerizing radio host. He drew heavily on his audience for material and he had a bit, a famous one, where people would call up and say they had the best answering machine message. Ever. Jonathon would call up, play the message for the audience and let the populace say what they thought of the person’s creativity. If enough people called in, he would give out the person’s phone number and let the general public essentially assault an individual’s home for a weekend. Jonathon would ask for the tape, back when it wasn’t all digital, and then would play what kinds of messages people would leave. It was unscientific, probably skewed in favor of the drunkards and loudmouths, but it always made for the best free radio you could be listening to. The best part about it is that people were always asking to do it because they all thought they could reinvent the wheel. Now, in 2004, I look to you to be the populace I know is out there. Your mission is to see the trailer and then send me whatever your thoughts are concerning the film’s merit based on what’s presented. What works, what doesn’t work, are there good characters, does it need more nudity, and what kind of a prognosis would you give it?

Watch the trailer, send me what you thought, be mindful of your grammar, watch your potty mouth, and I am going to fill in the space below next week with what you all thought. If you have an indie project and would like the general public’s opinion, write me. I’ll supply the audience and the words but you need to come to the table with some stones and the willingness to get an honest critique by the teeming masses. It’s put up or shut up time for all you who think you have what it takes. Obviously, if you made a porno or an actual snuff film, no one else but me will ever see it because that’s not the point of this arena. (Send those anyway, though…) You need to have a trailer to show the world. This is your moment. Show it off but be prepared to have some of the sharpest wit whittle your big fish down to sushi sized pieces. Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er. Show some love to PIZZA: THE MOVIE by sending in some comments.

Finally, be sure to check out the last trailer on the list this week. MY BIG FAT INDEPENDENT MOVIE, written by Film Threat’s own Chris Gore, looks like a hilarious send-up of all that which is supposedly indie and is my favorite trailer this week. Maybe it’s because I call into question my own cinematic sensibilities or that I find foul language always good for a giggle.

PIZZA: THE MOVIE (2004)

Director/Writer: Donald Gregory
Cast: Craig Wisniewski, Jason Muzie, Daniela Mangialardo, Alex Aco Adzioski, Eva Conrad, Sharon Stookey, Thadeous Pudlik
Release: May 29, 2004
Synopsis: Three years after graduating, Kevin Miller’s crush on a girl from high school has kept him from moving on with his life. When she shows up in town on break from college, he realizes this might just be his last chance ever to win her heart, only she doesn’t even remember him. His bizarre, sometimes annoying, and generally unhelpful best friend hatches a scheme to get them together. But for it to work, Kevin will have to give up his comfortable boring life and step into the crazy world of pizza delivery.

View Trailer:
* Small (QuickTime)
* Medium (QuickTime)
* Large (QuickTime)

Progonosis: ?

YOUNG ADAM (2004)

Director: David Mackenzie
Cast: Ewan McGregor, Tilda Swinton, Peter Mullan, Emily Mortimer
Release: April 16, 2004
Synopsis: Featuring a strong cast headed by Ewan McGregor, Tilda Swinton, Peter Mullan and Emily Mortimer, YOUNG ADAM is a moody, sensual thriller that takes place on the canals between Glasgow and Edinburgh during the 1950s. The film focuses on the crisis of Joe (McGregor); a young drifter who finds work on a barge owned by the down-to-earth Les (Mullan) and his enigmatic wife Ella (Swinton). One afternoon Joe and Les happen upon the corpse of a young woman floating in the water and the questions begin. Accident? Suicide? Murder? As the police investigate the case and a suspect is arrested, it becomes evident that Joe knows more about the drowned woman Cathie (Mortimer) than he will admit. Meanwhile, against the backdrop of the investigation, Joe and Ella embark on a passionate affair.

View Trailer:
* Medium (QuickTime)

Progonosis: Positive.

I remember thinking that Sean Austin was destined for great things when I saw THE GOONIES. Oh sure, there were a few B.R.A.T. Patrol, TOY SOLIDERS, and ENCINO MANs along the way but he was destined to be the quintessential second banana. I didn’t get to see the same dream realized for KARATE KID’s William Zabka but I’m still holding out hope. Thank goodness, then, that Ewan McGregor has been charting his success on an upward trajectory that, while not an ostentatious A-lister, seems to be more concerned with mixing affective and provocative art projects and heartless, soulless, jack-fests also known as the STAR WARS prequels. I am happy that YOUNG ADAM sees Ewan returning to take on a more gritty and substantial role in something worth watching.

One of the biggest traps that can befall a trailer for a thriller is that it can give everything away. Simple as that. You can tell who did it, where it happened, and that it was done with a candlestick in the bedroom. There is an art to unraveling a certain amount of information without giving away clues but it goes against with obeying the first law of trailerdom: you need to give people a reason to see your movie. YOUNG ADAM, though, sets the plot up with giving us words on the screen like “everybody has a past,” “everybody has a secret,” and “everybody has a story.” Ewan looks like a writer and his role in events here appear to give everything away.

The trailer is probably one of the nicest looking clips I’ve seen this week. The cinematography is wonderful, the score is hauntingly appropriate much to the thanks of David Byrne, and the semi-nudage is enough to slightly titillate and entice a viewer to wonder what the hell is going on. It looks like Ewan has a few scenes of hot love with Tilda, boffing his boss’ wife, all the while a mystery surrounding a young woman’s death seems to implicate nearly everyone involved. Obviously there are things going on, some red herrings sprinkled well throughout the trailer, that show that anything is possible with this story. The fact that Ewan is shown a couple of times at a typewriter only muddies the water of what is possibly made up and what could be fact. I love that.

With there being so many murder mystery movies that are just plain unwatchable, and all seem to star Ashley Judd, it’s nice to see a film like this coming to the States and give a good value to our entertainment dollar.

POLAR EXPRESS (2004)

Director: Robert Zemeckis
Cast: Tom Hanks, Chris Coppola, Eddie Deezen, Ed Gale, Nona Gaye, Josh Hutcherson, Michael Jeter, Peter Scolari, Hayden McFarland
Release: November 10, 2004
Synopsis: An inspiring adventure based on the beloved children’s book by Chris Van Allsburg. When a doubting young boy takes an extraordinary train ride to the North Pole, he embarks on a journey of self-discovery that shows him that the wonder of life never fades for those who believe. Sony Pictures Imageworks and visual effects supervisor Ken Ralston, Oscar winners for their innovative work, help bring this enchanting holiday story vividly to life in full CG animation through Imageworks’ next-generation motion capture process, which allows live-action performances to drive the emotions and movements of the digital characters.

View Trailer:
* Small (QuickTime)
* Medium (QuickTime)
* Large (QuickTime)
* Small (Windows Media, Real Player)

Progonosis: Got a Woody?

Wasn’t Tom Hanks already in one of these a few years ago?

I believe the TOY STORY series is perhaps the gold standard for computer-animated movies. I do realize they are sending traditional animation studios out to pasture but watching this trailer, I can see why. However, the clip here for POLAR EXPRESS looks like it has more in common with elements from FINAL FANTASY than anything that could be judged in the current animation craze, a la SHREK and FINDING NEMO.

I can appreciate the fact that this film just feels different than the other animated movies coming to a familyplex near me and that’s why it deserves some play here. Whenever something goes out of the bounds for traditional hegemonies it is always a thrill to at least see what the public at large will do with it. In the case of FINAL FANTASY, for example, it was largely scoffed at because of the same reasons why this one should succeed. For one, the genre. Who were the ones seeing that movie? Nerds, like myself who were familiar with the sci-fi genre. It edged out families in the process. With technology and a built-in audience, you’ll at least get a small contingent of folks who’ll just have to see it because of the simply based on the economy of availability. There is not much more for parents to dump their clattering brood off to see.

The trailer here, dealing with a Christmas time moment of a boy being magically whisked away on a train that comes barreling through the suburbs, is fairly innocuous. However, and lest we forget this is aimed at the kiddie crowd, this advertisement should make little rug rats everywhere pester their parents until November to see this movie. I like the use of the dark room and the slow, steady movements of the camera as the bass from the train starts to rattle various minutiae inside the boy’s bedroom. It is a little weird to hear Tom Hanks’ voice behind his likeness, though. I can only compare it seeing the Hall of Presidents at Disneyworld for the first time as a youth and seeing George Washington come to life. However, as quick as the trailer is, and as much as it doesn’t give anything away, I will likely take any kid to see this simply because I loved the story growing up.

Chris Van Allsburg is the man who gave us the book way back in 1985 and it was, and still is, a delight to read and look at. The pictures are simply small pieces of pure imagination. Even though JUMANJI wasn’t as wonderful as the original book (Hell, they should have really had Tim Burton go to town on that one.), this attempt at adapting his work might bring something interesting to the table. Also, Robert “USED CARS” Zemeckis is the one taking point for directorial duty on this. Say what you will about how he makes films, but he produces pieces of art that is widely digestible by a massive cross-section of the populace. Think of him as the Jeff Koons of moviemaking. And, better still, he still holds a warm place in my cinematic library for his work on BACK TO THE FUTURE.

ENVY (2004)

Director: Barry Levinson
Cast: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Christopher Walken, Rachel Weisz, Amy Poehler
Release: April 2, 2004
Synopsis: Tim (Ben Stiller) and Nick (Jack Black) are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick’s harebrained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: Vapoorizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air—to where exactly is anyone’s guess. Tim, who had poo-pooed Nick’s idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick’s fortune—and Tim’s own envy—grow to equally outrageous proportions. The flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter (Christopher Walken) who takes it upon himself to help fix Tim’s situation, but only causes Tim’s life to careen more wildly out of control…and Nick’s with it.

View Trailer:
* Small (QuickTime)

Progonosis: There is a reason behind every delay.

When I first saw this trailer, way back in the 2003, I thought this film could be a fairly funny movie for my father to see; it looked non-threatening, safe, gag filled, void of anything I would funny and simply relied on Jack Black’s mugging for laughs.

The Stiller machine hadn’t yet been cranked up to 11, Jack Black had yet to star in SCHOOL OF ROCK, and, on paper, those of us in the know thought that the pairing of these two would be a solid lock. However, as the trailer unfurled the story, crisis, and, vaguely, how it was going to be resolved, I was thinking that I probably was going to skip it. It felt odd, though, seeing Stiller, Black and Poehler, a great comedian in her own right, all put together with nothing to show for it. There were no sparks, no pizzazz; not even so much as a flicker with the addition of Chris Walken and Rachel Weisz. Just as I wondered how well it was going to fare, it happened.

It all went away.

The tentative release date was vapoorized, it was “reshuffled” to open sometime in the latter part of last year, and now it is being matched against HELLBOY and HOME ON THE RANGE. Seeing the trailer with a pair of fresh eyes makes me realize I wasn’t wrong about the reservations I had last year. There simply isn’t anything here to latch onto. There is not one great comedic moment you can ruminate on to justify ponying up $18.75 a ticket to see this thing on a Saturday night with your old lady. The fact that Barry Levinson hasn’t helmed a good film since 1997’s SLEEPERS is not a good box office omen, either.

I love Black. I love Stiller. That’s why it’s so hard to figure out what the hell is happening with this trailer. I can’t figure out why it doesn’t work, but I am more apt to wait until this thing is thrust upon me on a transatlantic flight before I see this one in favor of checking out what could be in store with HELLBOY.

THE STEPFORD WIVES (2004)

Director: Frank Oz
Cast: Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler, Christopher Walken, Faith Hill, Roger Bart, Jon Lovitz, Glenn Close
Release: June 11, 2004
Synopsis: Joanna (Kidman) and her husband (Broderick) move to the beautiful upper-class suburb of Stepford, where she soon starts to suspect something is strange and artificial about her new female neighbors. The wives living in the houses around them all seem to be too perfect, with bland, character-less personalities. Everyone that is, except her new friend Bobbie (Midler), who as a cranky, sarcastic, non-exercising alcoholic still has some semblance of personality and independence. As Joanna and Bobbie investigate their neighbors further, they discover that there is indeed something artificial about them, something… robotic, the result of the husbands banding together to replace their human wives with cyborg copies who are subservient, sexually compliant and devoid of any distinguishing character traits. Will Joanna and Bobbie be the next ones replaced by perfect robotic clones? (Roger Bart plays a gay confidante of Kidman’s character who ends up getting “straightened out”; Walken and Close play a couple; Lovitz plays Midler’s husband).

View Trailer:
* Small (QuickTime)
* Various (Windows Media, RealPlayer, QuickTime)

Progonosis: Kidman is a killer.

I bring this trailer to you as proof for a larger trend in trailerdom as of late: trailers as factitious product commercials.

They are trailers as commercials selling commercials that are really selling movies.

I am curious to know the origins of these things, but evidenced by the explosion of ones that have been doing a good job of it as of late there is something there that adds a little bit extra immersion into a manufactured world. Even RESIDENT EVIL: APOCOLYPSE, a film that should be a love fest of all things inane, does a good job getting into the mix of faux advertising.

For all the right reasons, this trailer is very effective. A voiceover, much like the one who tells us to head to a local car dealership to take advantage of the “Lexus sale event going on right now,” hits all the right keys in establishing a few things: 1) The “commercial” is supposed to appeal to a nonexistent audience of affluent mofo’s who strive for the finer things in life. 2) It creates a real and palpable mood that makes the pay off at the end that much sweeter. 3) It gives an immediate dipping into the laws, also known as the donnee for those of you with a classical education, that govern the world the film exists in.

The trailer does the footwork before you spend the first half-hour trying to figure it out yourself and, the best part, it doesn’t give anything about the plot away; that, in itself, is a commendable achievement for what just amounts a quick look at Nicole Kidman. There are no quick cuts, flashes of light, explosions of sound, but there is a deliberate, singular idea being expressed in this clip.

Yoda, also known in real life as Frank Oz, is the little green gremlin behind the lens on this one. His last real big hit, BOWFINGER, is probably one of the only movies made in the ‘90s that actually made me believe that Eddie Murphy could still be funny. (Oh well for hopes that die a vicious death.) Frank has done some great work with WHAT ABOUT BOB, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS and spent a lot of time with Muppets. His direction isn’t what you would call memorable or even notable, but if given the right story, and seeing how the man who wrote this thing gave us ROSEMARY’S BABY, THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL and, yes, even the great comedy, SLIVER, there could be a good chance the odds are with this Jedi.

MY BIG FAT INDEPENDENT MOVIE (2004)

Director: Philip Zlotorynski
Writer/Producer: Chris Gore
Cast: Paget Brewster, Neil Barton, Eric Hoffman, Darren Reiher, Ashley Head, Brian Krow, Neil Hopkins, Rob Schrab
Release: Coming Soon
Synopsis: “My Big Fat Independent Movie” is a spoof along the lines of “Scary Movie” and “Not Another Teen Movie.” It includes parodies of some of the indie film world’s most renowned movies such as “Memento,” “Pulp Fiction,” “Magnolia,” “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” “Amelie,” “Run Lola Run,” “El Mariachi, “The Good Girl,” “Pi,” “Swingers” and many others.

View Trailer:
* Medium (QuickTime)

Progonosis: Positive.

Name as many movies as you can, and, go: PULP FICTION, THE GOOD GIRL, EL MARIACHI, AMELIE, MEMENTO, RUN LOLA RUN, and how the hell can you go wrong with Clint Howard?

With the relative success of movies of SCARY MOVIE and the tepid NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE, each one cribbing and culling from notable films, MY BIG FAT INDEPENDENT MOVIE looks to do the same with the “art film” genre. The only difference between the three of them is that I may actually pay to see this one. Like attracts to like, I guess.

Right from the beginning things begin with borrowing a little page from Quentin Tarantino’s independent opus, RESERVOIR DOGS. It’s the “cool walk” that scene has already been copied for comedic effect, sublimely, in SWINGERS, right? However, the trailer makes friends with me by quickly dropping a few f-bombs; always a nice touch if done humorously. After that there’s an EL MARIACHI/AMELIE foreign language exchange which I can’t stop from thinking out which was good for a laugh out loud moment. From there, it’s a roller coaster ride up and down about what works well and what could easily play better with someone else’s comedic disposition.

Don’t get me wrong, though. It’s a very funny trailer if for the only reason that it offers up the reasons why it’s spoofing the movies it’s incorporating into the film. The same things that most of us yearn for in an “important” film, the high-falutin’, high-brow, superiority we feel over others and their mass marketed drivel, is the same thing this film looks to goof on. The movie feels like it is, at once self-aware of the plot points that make movies they’re lampooning while some characters are just blissfully unaware. There are lots of gags that seem to be Zucker-fied in this casual romp of a pic and it’s nice to be able and poke fun at some of the films regarded with respected reverence by many a film fan.

Also, and it’s important to note, Chris Gore is listed as the man responsible for primarily penning this story. Chris, who has been a deeply rooted champion of independent film long before it was en vogue to be a sycophantic suck-up of every movie touted as “art,” is probably one of the best-equipped writers out there today to be able and write a story that can overcome some of the common pitfalls with designing a well-crafted satire. However, and it’s a quibble again worth mentioning, there are some bits here that just don’t really fly as well as some others; that’s just something inherently tricky about writing comedy. Every gag isn’t 24k gold, every quip isn’t quotable and not every character works well in a blink-of-an-eye trailer snippet. What I can see here, though, is enough for me to plunk down some dough and see it. The film is an interesting meld of action/drama with a twist of humor. I would add something about what makes great satire but any trailer that ends with someone asking if that’s a “pubic hair in your teeth” simply gets a recommendation for others to check it out and see if what they see in this comedic Rorschach test.

Comments: 1 Comment

One Response to “Trailer Park: Marching Forward”

  1. Cornwiggle Says:

    You liked My Big Fat Independent Movie?

    Your tastes are far deep into the toilet, my friend.

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