DURHAM, NC – The hard truth of cinema takes place at the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, NC from April 14-17. That’s four solid days of movies that don’t feature Natalie Portman’s face being digitally inserted on other bodies. Four days of real people doing real stuff. And you can get some great BBQ.

This years line up has enough goodness to make me have to make painful choices as what to watch. There’s only one screening unless a movie wins a major prize. It’s be there or miss out. Choice wisely. Here’s a few of the films I’m looking to catch:

The Hangman (Thursday 10:20 a.m.) appears to be a creepy classic as it probes the man who executed Nazi Adolph Eichmann. What’s he do now? He ritually slaughters animals. Windfall (Thurs 4:20 p.m.) takes us to Meredith, New York. The area has embraced the concept of a windfarm with 400 feet high windmills. They learn quickly that this green energy does have an impact on their environment.

After last year’s Divine Pig, I’m looking forward to Pig Country (Friday 10:30 a.m.). This is about a third generation swine farmer about to lose the family business in Sweden. I’m rooting for the farmer. No country should be denied bacon. Buck (1:10 p.m. Friday) is about the real Horse Whisperer. If he shows up, I’m going to ask if he gets royalties from anyone that passes themselves off as a “(blank) whisperer.” Oscar winner Barbara Kopple’s Gun Fight (7:10 pm. Friday) pokes around the firearms world. Is America really ready for arming everybody in schools, planes and bars? Dragonslayer (Friday 10:20 p.m.) follows Josh “Skreech” Sandoval’s life as a not quite pro skateboarder. The film won a major award at SXSW.

Bobby Fischer Against the World (11 a.m. Saturday) dips into the madness of the greatest American chess player. How did this guy go so nuts? What did he think of Searching for Bobby Fischer. Diary (Friday 1:30 p.m.) is a short put together by Restrepo’s co-director about his life in warzones and back home in England.

The big “watch” film for me is Being Elmo (Saturday at 4:10 p.m.). The documentary lets us get to know Kevin Clash, the man who’s hands control the little red wonder. He’s the last major Muppet superstar before the death of Jim Henson.

Because of the scheduling, I’ll be missing Take Me Away Fast. This is about a record fanatic who travels to West Africa looking for funky vinyl. I feel like a slug opening a second window to order from deepdiscount.

Page One(Saturday 2:00) goes inside the offices of the New York Times. Catch this one quick before they stop making newspapers. Who Took the Bomp? (8:30 p.m. Saturday) features the band Le Tigre on tour. You can already see the kids with Elvis Costello glasses lining up for this one. This is an outdoor screening. Although the short documentary The Universal Language (Saturday 10:20 a.m.) is more hipster cool since it’s about Esperanto! This is the ultimate language. Fans of Pawn Stars and Obscurities should enjoy Unlikely Treasures (Saturday 10:20 a.m.). This introduces us to people with strange collections of items. The good news is this isn’t about hoarders so you won’t want to throw out stuff form your house afterward.

Tabloid (11 a.m. Sunday) is Errol Morris’ investigation of Joyce McKinney. She’s a beauty queen that gets tied into a bizarre kidnapping and rape case. She’s the one accused of kidnapping and raping a man. Morris holds the honor of once working with me on an American Express ad. I told him the equipment was ready. Corman’s World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel (Sunday 2:20 p.m.) is just what I need since I’ve been overdosing on Shout! Factory’s Roger Corman’s Cult Classics DVDs. I’m so ready to wrap up the festival with the king of the low budget films that cost as much as a documentary.

If you’re in the area, come on over. The various screens are close together so you won’t be wasting time on a bus between theaters. If you get a room at the Durham Marriott City Center, you barely have to walk. You can get individual tickets at www.fullframe.org.

I’ve been promised this will be a Charlie Sheen-free event. No Tiger Blood in the theaters.

BLUNDER NETWORK

Why are they reviving Wonder Woman for TV? The original only lasted two and a half seasons. It wasn’t that big of a hit. Remember when they revived The Bionic Woman? The original lasted two and a half seasons before they cut off the power. The remake stuck around for an epic 8 episodes.

Judging from the incredibly unsexy outfit they slapped on the new Wonder Woman, they might not make it to 3 episodes this time. Even the second version of the new outfit is about dull as a marathon of Lint vs. Dust Bunnies on SyFy. Lynda Carter’s poster won’t be getting yanked down in the rumpus room.

EXPERIENCE YOU CAN’T REFUSE

The Las Vegas Mob Experience is finally open at the Tropicana. After years of hearing about the time when the mob ran the town, you can check out the way organized crime made sure you felt good about losing in the casino. This is more family friendly than the previous exhibit featuring corpses of dead Chinese citizens cut apart for your entertainment. Mobsters might have killed people, but they didn’t pass their victims off as educational entertainment. Here’s a little footage about the place.

TIE-IN HEAVEN

Why doesn’t Hooter’s sponsor a cable channel’s Night Owl programming?

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Teen Wolf elevated Michael J. Fox from TV sensation on Family Ties to movie star. The film had been made before Back to the Future, but the producers wisely decided to draft on the blockbuster’s promotion of Fox. This could have backfired if you consider how those Twilight actors haven’t had any hits after their latest installments make big bucks. But Fox had the mojo from going back in time. This could have been a forgettable reworking of I Was a Teenage Werewolf. But the charm of Fox with his teen issues elevates the material like his staged basketball dunks. Instead of hiding his problem, he uses his wolf element to become a cool kid at school. When I was in high school we had a kid who was extra hairy. The guy had better facial hair than the nuns. He was popular since he never got carded when buying beer. Teen Wolf remains cool because of the Fox. The 1080p transfer brings out the fur on his face. The bonus feature is a sneak peak at MTV’s upcoming Teen Wolf series. The big update is the Teen Wolf now plays lacrosse instead of basketball. It’s kinda like Gossip Girl with body hair issues.

The Greatest Story Ever Told is an Easter treat. George Stevens (director of Giant) tackles the life of Jesus. This was part of that era with big budget Bible films proving Hollywood wasn’t a land of God-less heathens. The life of Jesus is told using the biggest of screen talent and Pope John XXIII as a technical advisor. Who could play the star? Why it’s Sweden’s Max Von Sydow (Flash Gordon). At the time he was hot from Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal. He already cheated death once, why no do again? Charlton Heston blesses him as John the Baptist. David McCallum (NCIS) betrays him as Judas. Telly Savalas (Kojak) beats him as Pontius Pilate. John Wayne has a moving cameo at a critical moment. The movie was shot on Ultra Panavision 70 so it really looks good on Blu-ray. If you’re looking for a New Testament epic to run after The Ten Commandments, pick up The Greatest Story Ever Told. This version is 3 hours and 19 minutes The bonus features include documentaries about the movie and George Stevens.

The Secret of NIMH was Don Bluth’s first solo directorial effort after he left Disney animation in 1981. This is also his best effort which is why there was a tremble that he could diminish Disney’s lead in the industry. The movie is about a sweet mouse mom who can’t move her family to avoid the upcoming farmer’s plow. Turns out her son is too sick, Her only hope involves a pack of rats that have a shady background. They’re not normal rats. The animation looks even better in the new transfer. This is a film that deserves the special treatment. It does belong to be filed with your Disney titles. The voices include John Carradine, Dom Deluise, Derek Jacobi, Shannen Doherty, Aldo Ray and Wil Wheaton – the face of evil in Pasadena. The bonus features are the original trailer, an audio commentary with Don Bluth & Gary Goldman and “Secrets Behind the Secret” lets Don and Gary show and tell.

CORMAN CULT CLASSICS CORNER

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Triple Feature: Action Packed Collection brings three pieces of cross country car chase action of varying degrees. The star of the collection is The Great Texas Dynamite Chase starring the late great Claudia Jennings (‘Gator Bait). She busts out of prison with a plan on how to rob banks. She walks inside holding a lit stick of dynamite and wanting the money fast. During her first heist, recently fired teller Jocelyn Jones bonds with the outlaw. The hot blond duo cross the state with their explosive nature. This is a great drive-in flick with plenty of blowing up, car chases and nudity. Jennings was Playmate of the Year and doesn’t mind us how she earned that title.

Georgia Peaches is a TV movie that Corman produced with the hopes of turning it into a series. The show seems eager to bump draft Dukes of Hazzard with it’s tale of modern moonshine in the South. Dirk Benedict (A-Team) gets behind the wheel of a special delivery moonshine machine. His main support are Tanya Tucker and Terri Nunn (pre-Berlin). Playing the role of Boss Hogg is Sally Kirkland. She wants to stop Dirk bad. Her henchman is Burton Gilliam (Blazing Saddles). The action looks good. Although it’s not a shame that the show didn’t get picked up since that would have denied us seeing Dirk as Face. He would have only been remembered as Starbuck. Smokey Bites the Dust is the worst looking of the trio, but luckily it’s also the worst playing. Jimmy McNichol is an out of control high schooler who gets a rush out of joyriding in students’ cars. He kidnaps the sheriff’s daughter during homecoming. This leads to a wild cross country chase that involves Arabs with swords. Director Charles B. Griffith had previously made Eat My Dust. McNichol lacks the charisma of Ron Howard. The film pads the chase scenes with footage taken from Eat My Dust along with Grand Theft Auto, Moving Violation and Thunder and Lightening. This isn’t quite up to usual New World standards. It should have been distributed by Crown International. The lack of nudity is a severe non-selling point. The greatness of The Great Texas Dynamite Chase and it’s low SRP makes this still a great way to spend a late night after a long drive. The only bonus features are the trailers for Dynamite and Smokey.

DVD SHELF

Dirty Mary Crazy Larry / Race with the Devil gives us Peter Fonda at his Drive-In Superstar prime. Dirt Mary Crazy Larry (1974) is a simple rush of a chase. Larry (Peter Fonda) is a race car driver that figures the best way to get funding to hit the circuit is to rob a store. Mary (Susan George) is his girlfriend that can’t disagree. Things don’t go too smooth. The cops come at them with everything they can use from super cars to helicopters. Can anything stop Larry’s Dodge Charger? I’m not going to spoil the ending. This is just freewheeling automotive mayhem. Only wish this was running at the Drive-in on Friday night.

Race with the Devil (1975) reminds people why driving RVs to see America is a bad idea. Peter Fonda, Lara Parker, Warren Oates (The Wild Bunch) and Loretta Swit (M*A*S*H) hit the road in a huge RV. Things are going fine until they stumble across the locals having a Satanic ritual involving human sacrifice. The locals don’t like people seeing their recreational activities. They come after the loving couples with a creepy vengeance. Who is part of their conspiracy? Will Fonda and Oates survive the madness? Wouldn’t things been better if they just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express? Both films make a dreamy double feature. Peter Fonda is the coolest member of his acting family.

Dennis the Menace: Season One finally brings us the coolest black and white family show of 1959. The series was based on Hank Ketcham’s human tornado comic strip character. Dennis (Jay North) just wants to be helpful although it turns out to always be a nightmare for others. His dad (Herbert Anderson) and mom (Gloria Henry) can barely keep it together. The worst of Dennis’ good intentions falls on Mr. Wilson (Joseph Kearns). He can’t get a break when the neighbor kid bangs on his door. “Dennis and the Rare Coin” has Mr. Wilson thrown into jail. He’s the sweetest piece of trouble in the neighborhood. He does have a friend in Tommy to help him on schemes. In the comic strip his friend is Joey, but for some reason that kid only lasted five episodes. Ron Howard pops up as part of Dennis’ posse. The 32 episodes keep up the destruction. The bonus features include Dennis on The Donna Reed Show and the original sponsor promos. A recent interview with Gloria Henry and Jeannie Russell (Margaret) discusses how the actors altered the comic strip. It’s a relief to finally get to watch this show after seeing its peers come out on DVD over the years.

VEGA$: The Second Season, Volume 2 brings another 11 episodes of the greatest character from the mind of Michael Mann. Dan Tanna (Robert Urich) rocks the Las Vegas strip in his cool Thunderbird. The best news for this part of the season is Greg Morris (Mission: Impossible) getting his role upgraded since Tony Curtis took a break. The stars come out to be evil in Sin City. “Lost Monday” has Binzer (Bart Braverman) turned into a human time bomb thanks to Tige Andrews (The Mod Squad) and Dick Sargent (Bewitched). Lloyd Bochner leaves a trail of dead hookers in Tanna’s wake for “Consortium.” “The Hunter Hunted” unleashes Robert Loggia (The Sopranos) on Greg Morris. Fans of musical cheese gets a taste of The Captain and Tennille. They now perform in Reno. “Siege of the Desert Inn” brings the heavy ammo when Cameron Mitchell and Richard Bakalyan’s cashier heist goes bad. They hold up in the VIP tower with dancers as hostages. It’s as badass as can be when Tanna dangles from a helicopter. “Vendetta” gives me a rush to see Crown International Superstar Bill Adler (Van Nuys Blvd) as a guest star. It’s a shame Brett Meisner didn’t live to see this. VEGA$ remains the coolest show since they really shot around the city and didn’t fake it. How can their only be one more season left? Who dared to cancel Dan Tanna?

All Good Things is a creepy crime movie starring Ryan Gosling as the heir to a Manhattan real estate fortune. His father (Frank Langella) constantly busts his balls. He’s got no direction in his life until he meets Kirsten Dunst. He wants to be part of the family business although dad only trusts him enough to have him collect the rent from the seedy spaces around Times Square. Things in the marriage go terribly wrong leading to Ryan moving to Texas and dressing as a woman. The best way to describe the film is the anti-Notebook. This is based on the true story of Robert Durst. What’s remarkable about Ryan Gosling’s performance is the sad thought that he was made to be the star of a Stanley Kubrick film. He has the stare among his other fine qualities. All Good Things is a sleeper film that shouldn’t be watched before bedtime.

Wallenberg, A Hero’s Story was another of Richard Chamberlain’s legendary mini-series from the ’80s. This time he’s the real life Raoul Wallenberg. The Swedish diplomat refuses to be passive when the Nazis ship off Jews to the work camps. He begins by making several of them Swedish citizens. But the Nazis don’t like his games. Can he keep one step ahead of them while saving thousands of innocent lives? Or will he too end up on the train bound for a nasty end? Along with Chamberlain are Alice Krige and Melanie Mayron (thirtysomething). The three hour cut of the film moves briskly. The production levels make thing look authentic and not staged for TV. This was still the golden age of mini-series when it aired on NBC in 1985.

Behind the Burly Q: The Story of Burlesque in America finally explains this form of entertainment that came between Vaudeville and stripclubs. Burlesque was all about pure carnal tease when it came to the female stars. This wasn’t all bump and grind. There was comedy and freakish acts. This is where Bud Abbott and Lou Costello came together. It’s where most of their material was perfected. Even Alan Alda’s dad Robert Alda got his start performing between the ladies. The documentary does a fine job bringing together archival material with original entertainers from the period. Director Leslie Zemeckis and her crew make the performers relaxed as they tells stories that range from the tragic to a dancer that married into royalty. If you’re the slightest bit curious about Burlesque after seeing the trailer for the Cher film or the Pussycat Dolls, this movie will give you an understanding and appreciation of what went on behind the doors. The good part is there’s no two drink minimum, but you might want to order a martini before hitting play.

Behemoth declares there’s a major reason for seismic activity and it isn’t that plate theory. This original SyFy movie declares there’s a giant critter under the Earth that needs to get up. Ed Quinn (Eureka) gets drawn into the mystery of why a remote town is shaking like it’s built on Jell-O. He’s as surprised as the rest of us when the creature pokes up from below. It has all the CGI goodness we expect from a SyFy flick. The movie is monster cheese action with lots of glorious cliches on the screen. While this is a fun film, the monster causing earthquakes theory ought to be investigated by certain science hating members of Congress.