I’m currently packing for a trip to Atlanta tomorrow in order to take part in www.RedNoseNet.com so I didn’t have time this week to talk about the album “Volume 2” from She & Him (which is going to be my soundtrack for this summer, I can already tell) and the new album coming out from The Bluetones called A New Athens (which I got a pre-general release listen to and knocked my socks off). It’s a shame because by the time I do another one of these they’ll be old news. Just go listen to them yourself and thank me later. Luckily though I only had a few requests in my inbox this time round so let’s get cracking.

This is my MySpace music review column. There are many like it, but this one’s mines. My MySpace page is my best friend. It is my life. I must master my friends list as I must master my life. Without me, my MySpace is useless, without my MySpace, I am useless. I must fire my reviews true. I must shoot straighter than my readers who are trying to kill me, I must shoot the musicians before they shoot me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: My music review column and myself are the defenders of MySpace, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my ears. So be it, until there is no friend requests, but peace. Amen
————————————————————————
WRIL
www.myspace.com/wrillove

Wril is an R&B crooner from Chicago. I don’t get too many R&B singers sending me requests. Due to this being such an unusual event I feel I should do something a little different with this critique. I’m going to summon the pop gods of American Idol in order to truly give Wril the grilling he deserves.

Randy Jackson: Yo dawg, listen up. You know I like you right? I like what you’re doing. Some sexy ballads with an old school vibe. You and me are old school, right dawg? But yo, listen up. You were on pitch most of the time, I can’t fault you for that but I felt it lacked a bit of power is places. I needed it to punch through to the other side. But overall I thought it was nice. Good job. What you think, E?

Ellen Degeneres: Are you wrilly Wril? I wrilly don’t know. But I do know that I liked it. Your performance had some touching moments. I enjoyed it. It was definitely entertaining. But your name is wrilly silly.

Kara DioGuardi: First of all, let me make gestures with my hands for about 5 minutes. Then make ridiculous constipated faces… I really felt your emotion when singing. I felt like you really connected with your music and that this was a work of passion for you. Don’t you just want to punch me in the face though? I mean, seriously, how annoying am I?

Simon Cowell: If we’re being honest with each other here, and we are, that wasn’t great. It was OK, you sang it well and it was genuine but I’ve heard this a million times before and a million times better. I just don’t see how I can make enough money out of you for this to be worth it. Please fuck off.

And that’s kind of how I felt about it all. Nice to listen to, I can’t fault the guy for being sincere, but unfortunately nothing really stood out as being amazing. As a result it means the whole thing has to be classified as a bit average. But I wouldn’t put the guy down.

And Wrily really is a silly name. Made worse by song titles “She’s The Wril Deal”, “I Wrilly Want To Be Yours” and “Wril Love”. Barf.

Presentation = 4/5
Content = Some lame bio but plenty of music on show.
Music = 3/5
Friend Request = DENIED!

————————————————————————–
ALX GEE
www.myspace.com/alxgee7780

If you think you have heard Alx Gee’s songs before, it’s possibly because you’ve heard them blaring from the inside of a Fiat Punto as it’s tracksuit bedazzled driver sped past you. Yes, Mr Gee is a purveyor of dance music.

It would be fair to say that I have no interest in this. In any way shape or form. Unless I’m rat-arsed drunk in a club, dance music doesn’t speak to me. Not this kind anyway. I could mention the good stuff like Daft Punk, Faithless, Chemical Brothers etc but because they’re so good they transcend dance music and incorporate a little bit of everything. They’re more than just “put your hands in the air” cheesy house techno.

As a result of my feelings, I was never going to give this a fair shake. It sounds like something I used to make with the Music game on my Playstation 1.

There is also a weird thing I noticed (and no, I’m not talking about his name). In the “Friends” section of his profile he has a second profile of himself. Interested, I clicked to find that it’s the exact same profile in every way except he has two different songs rather than the three he has on the other page. What is the point of this?

Also, how does this dude have over 225,000 plays on each song? That’s insane for an unsigned artist. I mean, the guy has a desperate plea for a manager in his bio. How is he pulling this off? I’ve got to tip my hat to him for this at the very least.

There isn’t much to his page though. Three songs, no videos and his pictures are set to private (I had to google search for a picture to put in this article). Meh. Back to the loch with you Nessie.

Presentation = 3/5
Content = Shite all.
Music = 2/5
Friend Request = DENIED!

————————————————————————
POETIC K
www.myspace.com/poetic_k

This woman is a bit of a bombshell. There seems to be a trend with this column that every week I get at least one friend request from a musician that just stumps me. Poetic K is a head scratcher. First of all let me try and describe the music or at least categorize it.

Poetic is a good moniker to give herself as there is a major hint that Ms. K is some sort of modern beatnik punk poet. Most of her songs sound like poems being recited to an alt rock soundtrack. She never really sings and she doesn’t really shout. It’s a kind of Marilyn Monroe performance; if she hung out with some goths. I don’t think she could squeeze any more sex or cutesy tone into her voice if she got a crowbar and Tweetie Pie.

Now I’ve never believed there to be much influence from a producer in rock music. Hip-Hop, certainly, but not rock. However, if ever there was someone screaming out for the need of a producer it’s this lady. Or at the very least better sound equipment because whoever put this together leaves things very loose. Now I understand that she’s probably going for that freaky, free style but it just comes across as sloppy. Sound dips and raises in bizarre places, it’s so off that I refuse to believe it’s on purpose.

I think if this was my first week doing this, I would probably have torn Poetic K a new one but to be honest I think she honestly has to be put in perspective. While I don’t think I’ll ever be on board for this kind of artsy rock I have to give her kudos for at the very least being an original sound. I come by so many sound-a-likes and generic bands that to have someone who even gets my attention and makes me think is a bit of a winner.

Give her a listen. At worst, you’ll know what’s going on in Berlin.

Presentation = 1/5
Content = Messy lay out but I suppose there is more than enough here to keep you occupied.
Music = 3/5
Friend Request = DISAPPEARED!

————————————————————————–

– If you want to be in the firing line for one of Aaron’s reviews, send a friend request to www.myspace.com/aaronhbp and he will reload for next time.

Comments: None