We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

So what was the 2nd Challenge?

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song about a number.

That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the STILL ONGOING Round 2 voting (it ends on December 6th, so be sure to vote!). More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 3 Challenge is!

THE CHALLENGERS

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris

ROUND 1 SONG: “#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jason_morris-019-thomas_ashley_innersun.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Natural 18”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jason_morris-natural_18.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG: “#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Zero Point Nine (Ad Infinitum)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/edric_haleen-zero_point_nine.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

ROUND 1 SONG: “#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-139-mr_genuine_hissfurther.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “300”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/buckethat_bobby_matheson-300.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

ROUND 1 SONG: “#381 Captain Dane Frostline”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “3455316008”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/godz_poodlz-3455316008.mp3]

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

ROUND 1 SONG: “#666 Tommy Dickfish”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bram_tant-666-tommy_dickfish.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/bram_tant-five.mp3]

MANTICESS

Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult

ROUND 1 SONG: “#423 Red”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “1998”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/manticess-1998.mp3]

JALAPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Pi”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jalapeno_habaneros-pi.mp3]

TIMOTHY RUSH

Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta

ROUND 1 SONG: “#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/timothy_rush-006-sir_stinson_maggotwrangle.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Me & 23”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/timothy_rush-me_and_23.mp3]

JUBILEE JEWS

They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “i: The Square Root Of -1 (The Imaginary Number)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jubilee_jews-the_square_root_of_-1.mp3]

PETER BENEDICT

Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

ROUND 1 SONG: “#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “0”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/peter_benedict-0.mp3]

JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

ROUND 1 SONG: “#422 Mokey”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/josh_holober-ward-five.mp3]

AARON Z

Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.

Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#590 Harvey Rupert Elder”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/aaron_z-590-harvey_rupert_elder.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/aaron_z-five.mp3]

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SONG: “#297 Mr. Tom Furby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “2”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/joe_covenant_lamb-2.mp3]

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader

ROUND 1 SONG: “#153 Permanent Unsex”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Six (I Am Not A Number)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/lex_vader-six_i_am_not_a_number.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG: “#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Flight 93 – Memorial to Courage”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/caleb_hines-flight_93_memorial_to_courage.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

ROUND 1 SONG: “#237 Dirtbag Dan”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “203012”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/zer0guy-203012.mp3]

JONATHAN MANN

My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.

Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “The Number Nine!”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jonathan_mann-the_number_nine.mp3]

SARA PARSONS

Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

ROUND 1 SONG: “#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “7.5”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/sara_parsons-7_point_5.mp3]

CHAS LILLY

Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic

ROUND 1 SONG: “#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “10 (Things That Made This The Worst Date Ever)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/chas_lilly-10_things_that_made_this_the_worst_date_ever.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG: “#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “8”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/kylie_petto-8.mp3]

ALEX TAYLOR

I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “i”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/alex_taylor-i.mp3]

GIFTED GEAR

I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#580 Old Man Hades”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gifted_gear-580-old_man_hades.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Eight”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/gifted_gear-eight.mp3]

SIMMBIOSIS

Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis

ROUND 1 SONG: “#646 Hydrostatic Charlie”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Sevenly – The Magnificent Seven”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/simmbiosis-sevenly_the_magnificent_seven.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin – a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends – local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

ROUND 2 SONG: “Four 5ths”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/denise_hudson-four_5ths.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

Write a winter holiday song that is not about the holidays.

Your song can reference the holidays, but must not be explicitly about them. However, it should incorporate instruments and/or a style that evokes the holidays. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, December 13th, 2009.

Voting on Round 3 submissions will commence on Tuesday, December 15th, 2009.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a song from Jona Lewie, “Stop The Cavalry”…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/jona_lewie-stop_the-cavalry.mp3]

ROUND 2 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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Comments: 25 Comments

25 Responses to “Masters Of Song Fu #5: Round 3 Challenge Revealed!” Lex Vader Says: December 4th, 2009 at 6:53 am You didn’t specifically define what “not about the holidays” means. Technically, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” isn’t about the holidays, because it’s about a reindeer. The only “instruments” that evoke the holidays are jingle bells. The only “style” that evokes the holidays would have to be the specific structure of a known Christmas song. The only other thing that evokes the holidays would be referencing and/or setting the song during the holidays. Asking for style parodies is questionable for a song “writing” contest. Requiring jingle bells might not be practical. If setting the song during the holidays or mentioning winter or the holidays once is a rule, then it should just state that rule clearly. Not being “about” the holidays seems very broadly interpretable. Multiple choice is fine, but there are too many variables here for me to properly understand what the challenge is asking. Ian"Two Shades" Johnson Says: December 4th, 2009 at 11:57 am I think Lex makes some good points…I mean I don’t know how to make a song sound like a ‘holiday’ song without basically ripping off another song and changing the lyrics. If that’s what we’re going for with this challenge, that’s fine, I have some ideas for that. But I don’t want to end up doing that only to find out that wasn’t the real point of the challenge. Can we get some better clarification? Hazen Nester of Quiet Desperation Says: December 4th, 2009 at 12:06 pm Oh, that’s just plain EVIL of you, Ken! I like it. BucketHatBobby Says: December 4th, 2009 at 1:18 pm Lex, many songs that are not christmas songs SOUND like christmas songs. “Summer’s the worst” by Mike Leviton uses ukulele and accordion, but sounds mysteriously christmasey, derspite being about the summer. Xylophone or glockenspeil, when used sparsely, tends to make me think of christmas. It may not be definable, really, but I feel there is a specific sound or style that can be labeled as “Christmassy”. However, I, like you, do not really understand the “not about the holidays” thing. Caleb Hines Says: December 4th, 2009 at 3:05 pm If T is the set of all topics that a song could possibly be written about, and H is the set of all holiday-related topics, then your song must be about a topic in the set: X = T – H Edric Haleen Says: December 4th, 2009 at 3:44 pm I think it’s a great challenge! And there are certainly ways it can be done. If you want another point of reference, listen to “The Schmuel Song” by Jason Robert Brown from the musical “The Last Five Years.” He’s Jewish — his wife is Roman Catholic. He’s a successful writer — she’s a struggling actress. It’s a wonderful song that’s set in the holiday season, but has nothing at all to do with the holidays. 🙂 Edric (He gives her a watch…) Pat Misterovich Says: December 4th, 2009 at 5:01 pm I can think of a number of examples that would qualify under the rules. Many have come to be accepted as traditional holiday songs though the lyrics are not explicitly about any holiday Let it Snow Sleigh Bells Baby It’s Cold Outside Winter Wonderland Jingle Bells Other songs have the holidays as a backdrop but are necessarily “about” the holidays. What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel Frosty The Snowman Good King Wenceslas mtgordon Says: December 4th, 2009 at 6:07 pm Lex: the climax of “Rudolph” comes “one foggy Christmas eve,” and Rudolph is one of Santa’s reindeer. Hence, it’s a holiday song. “Jingle Bells” itself isn’t about the holidays; it’s actually a generically wintery song. One could write a song about winter weather, winter pastimes, winter foods or beverages and attendant weight gain, shoveling the driveway, etc. and they’d be seasonal without technically being holiday-themed. Alternatively, one could do something totally unrelated to the season. One could write a song about summer in Australia, for example. 😉 As for instrumentation: jingle bells, hand bell choirs, and celesta will all do the trick. Glockenspiel works, more or less, because it sounds a lot like a celesta, which is best known from its use in the Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy in Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker.” Vocal arrangements with multiple voices can sound like Christmas carols, and an upright piano will make it sound that much more like elementary school. Solo vocalists might want to lay down suitable harmony tracks so as to make it sound more like a group. Traditional rock band instrumentation (electric guitar, bass, drums) won’t sound right. Electronica can at least be adjusted to use MIDI instruments that will inspire a holiday mood. Acoustic guitar isn’t strongly associated with the holidays unless you grew up watching “The Irony of Fate.” Major keys will probably work best. Peter Says: December 4th, 2009 at 8:57 pm So… should it be a Christmas song in the same sense that “Die Hard” is a Christmas Movie? Lex Vader Says: December 4th, 2009 at 10:51 pm Free drawing goes to the first person to write about Gremlins. Tommy G Says: December 5th, 2009 at 10:12 pm Although it’s way late, our shadow version of round 2 is ‘3 is an Evil Number’ and is finally finished for your listening and dining pleasure at: http://boffoyuxdudes.wordpress.com/2009/12/05/3-is-an-evil-number-masters-of-song-fu-entry/ Big thanks to Allan Morgan of Pop Machine for the coconspirator work. Lyrics 3… is an evil number. Yes it is it’s an evil number. Somewhere in the Devil’s own triumvirate You get 3.. as an evil number The Bad, the Vicious and the Ugly Wicked, Wrong and Fugly Vile, Beastly, and Lewd Give you 3.. its an Evil number. It takes three fates to make a damnation To curse you when you’re dead It takes three prongs to make a Trident To spear you in the head When its 3 You can see It’s an evil number A man and a zombie had a little baby, (For dinner) Yes, they did. It fed three in the family, And that’s an evil number. Penguin, Joker and Two-Face Villians up in your face. Batman back in his place cause of 3 it’s an evil number… Flatbeds, Trucks and Fountains Snake canyon in the Mountains Eval’s jumping’ things he cannot see it’s a Kineval number. 3 times 2 is 666  – The number of the beast 3 times 3 is  9 –  circles of hell in which we feast 3 times 4 is 12  A dozen minions at your feet. 3 times 5 is 15 repugnant  toadies for trick or treat. 3 times 6 is 18: 6 + 6 + 6 Evil numerology is how we get our kicks 3 times 7 is 21 – blackjack of the damned Your Aces and Eights make up the Dead Man’s Hand! A man and a zombie had a little baby, For dinner.  Yes, they did. It fed three in the family, And that’s an evil number. Enjoy Tommy G Gorbzilla Says: December 6th, 2009 at 12:52 pm Technically, Jingle Bells was written for a Thanksgiving program at a church in the 1850’s by the church’s organist. riddle Says: December 6th, 2009 at 10:15 pm though i was a bit puzzled at first and sympathize with Vader, my personal interpretation of a ‘holiday’ song is expressive of warmth and cheeriness, musically an unrushed mix of slow, low notes and bright, high notes. Wilson Fowlie Says: December 7th, 2009 at 1:28 pm In addition, to what others have said, a song can mention Christmas (or another seasonal holiday) without being about that holiday. The example song in the challenge – “Stop the Cavalry” – is just so; it most certainly is not a Christmas song, as such, but because it has the line “Wish I was at home for Christmas”, it gets played at this time of year (particularly, I understand, in Britain and maybe Australia(?) ). Another song that didn’t start out as a Christmas song but has been co-opted into the season is “My Favourite Things”, from The Sound of Music. Pretty much any song that mentions gifts or snow (or other aspects of winter). As to style, in addition to the suggestions already given on how a song style can be Christmas-y (or holiday-y), a march tempo/style (a la “Frosty the Snowman” or “Parade of the Wooden Soldiers”) particularly in combination with the instrumentation suggestions mentioned above. On another (but related) topic, I’m curious: of the people who are familiar with Chris de Burgh’s song “A Spaceman Came Travelling”, do you think that, if it were being written now for this challenge, it would meet the criteria? Or is it too specifically about the Christmas story? Wilson Fowlie Says: December 7th, 2009 at 1:28 pm Oh, I almost forgot: to the list of ‘gifts’ and ‘snow’, you can add ‘angels’. Lex Vader Says: December 7th, 2009 at 6:53 pm “expressive of warmth and cheeriness” Guess I’m screwed then. Gorbzilla Says: December 7th, 2009 at 9:30 pm Not necessarily, Lex. You could write a very dark song that references the holidays. Might become a classic. Not everyone loves the holidays. Think Grinch pre-who-ville robbery. Wilson Fowlie Says: December 9th, 2009 at 1:09 pm Or you could go with the word ‘challenge’ and see if you can do something outside of your normal work. Even if you don’t end up liking it, you will probably get something out of the experience. Spintown Says: December 10th, 2009 at 2:48 am You would like to get a better picture of where you stand overall in the competition, without having to do basic math, here’s an up to date list of the overall standings. http://spintown79.blogspot.com/2009/12/song-fu-5-round-2-results.html Lex Vader Says: December 11th, 2009 at 2:39 am Em, I was refering to the theory that it had to be “cheery,” and the fact that I already wrote my song, and it’s about as uncheery as you can get. sevinPackage Says: December 11th, 2009 at 3:31 pm Fortunately it’s just a theory. The challenge doesn’t mention any specific moods, so I’m sure you’ll be fine, Lex. I’m excited to hear this round’s songs. There should be a lot of variety. Good luck, everyone! simmbiosis Says: December 13th, 2009 at 8:12 pm I have submitted my song Holy Daze, done in holiday fashion but lyrically a song about consumerism, greed and religious hypocrisy. As usual, music and lyrics can be found at http://www.myspace.com/simmbiosis Enjoy! riddle Says: December 14th, 2009 at 9:55 am hey Lex, hope my comment didn’t throw you off. i was only talking about what my own idea of ‘holiday music’ means, not trying to define it for everybody else. i look forward to hearing everybody’s entries… with one reservation: i hope that not too many folks fell for the ‘anti-holiday’ let’s-make-a-depressing-song trap. not that those can’t be good. just that too many will sound samey and repetetive. Russ Rogers (of Godz Poodlz) Says: December 14th, 2009 at 11:50 am Will there be a listening party for Song Fu #5 Round 3? Song Fu Vets, Garfunkel and Oates are scheduled to perform tonight (December 14) on the Jay Leno Show! There is still a Song Fu Group on facebook. But TMA, http://www.toomuchawesome.org is Teh Active social network for Song Fu Vets, New Model Musicians, their friends and fans. The most comprehensive twitter list of Song Fu Vets is at http://twitter.com/#/list/RockingJamboree/song-fu. Follow it. If you deserve to be on the list and aren’t already, let me know. @RockingJamboree Godz Poodlz have a MySpace Page and a facebook fan page. Won’t you be our iFanz? And you can find the best mixes of all Godz Poodlz songs at http://godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com/ Josh Holober-Ward Says: December 14th, 2009 at 2:01 pm Hey guys, is there a listening party tonight?.. and if so, what time? I probably can’t make it tonight, but I remember Ken Plume saying to be sure to because something special was going to happen… Leave a Reply Name (required) Mail (will not be published) (required) Website Δ