Welcome to TV or Not TV where I’ve been on vacation.

Yes, even I from time to time will escape from the weekly grind and take time off. During these types of hiatus there isn’t much time for enjoying television. If anyone reading this has children then you know that any of the television that you might walk in far away places will be of the Cartoon Network variety more than anything else. As such I can say that there isn’t exactly a lot for me to expound upon in this week’s forward.

One thing I can talk about, however, is what I like to refer to as my background noise. When I’m sitting here in my office my favorite thing to do is have something that I’ve already watched and I’m familiar with to have on in the background to help give me a benchmark for the passage of time. A few weeks ago I picked up the Roku box that allows you, through a broadband Internet connection, to watch Netflix or Amazon instant viewing items to be played directly to your television. This has allowed my daughter to enjoy things I’ve never bought on video like Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Milo & Otis, Free Willy and many others (including an endurance run of Sponge Bob Square Pants). Without it you just need your web browser and in my office I decided to use this feature. I mistakenly thought that I could have LOST playing in the background and found that I was absolutely glued to the television and not getting any work done. Keeping the events of the most recent season in mind really opens one’s mind up in many different ways in watching the first season again. If you have something to do having LOST in the background won’t suit you for productivity.

That’s all I’ve got for right now, so let’s turn our focus instead to what we have available to watch in the week to come.

MONDAY

DISCOVERY – 8:00 PM: If you haven’t seen the post-apocalyptic survival simulation called  The Colony than you have a chance to watch the first four episodes back-to-back tonight. This is the kind of reality television that doesn’t make me feel guilty watching it.

E! – 8:30 PM: In Reality Hell the unsuspecting mark goes on a reality show where everyone else are actors and they are subjected to absurd challenges each week as a new reality show type is skewered. Yeah, I know, sounds a lot liked Punk’d and every other piece of Candid Camera rip-off out there. Might be worth a chuckle or two however.

ABC – 10:00 PM: I’m sorry I just can’t stop talking about Castle. It’s like candy that I just can’t get enough of.

TUESDAY

SLUETH – 4:00 PM: Lazy afternoon? How about 8 hours of Monk? If I were home I’d be in for sure.

TBS – 8:00 PM: How bad are the viewing choices when I’m willing to suggest watching two hours of Family Guy repeats? Some questions just answer themselves, don’t they?

CBS – 9:00 PM: If you like drama and haven’t watched Big Brother 11 than I would really encourage you to watch the completely mental group of people that are locked in this house. At press time I don’t know if the show Sunday night actually mentioned a house guest that’s been kicked out, so maybe today you’ll see a person implode.

TLC – 10:00 PM: I don’t know if it speaks well or not of Masters of Reception that the first thing that you hear about it that it’s produced by Kelly Rippa and husband Mark Consuelos, but anything following around wedding planners has to be entertaining.

WEDNESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Just like a bad cold coming back FOX is bringing us Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage.  I needed something to write about or I wouldn’t have even mentioned this. Please, don’t watch. Let’s make her finally go away.

ABC – 8:00 PM: I’ve got two words to tell get you interested in watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire: SNOOP DOG! REGIS: Is that your final answer Snoop? SNOOP: Fo’ shizzle Reeg. Oh yeah, I’m watching it.

BRAVO – 9:00 PM: Sin City helps spice things up with the new season of Top Chef: Las Vegas.

THURSDAY

DISCOVERY – 8:00 PM: How have I missed American Loggers this long?

BRAVO – 10:00 PM: The network may be different but Project Runway will still provide all the stitch-in-time drama you’ve all grown to love.

FRIDAY

DISCOVERY – 7:00 PM: Can you survive four hours of Survivorman? First bit of advice, pee on your t-shirt and wrap it around your head to stay cool. Wait, only do that if you are in the desert.

TLC – 10:00 PM: Just when you thought there was a reality show about everything we now get to see behind the scenes of the horse racing industry with Jockeys, or as I like to think of it Little People, Big Horses.

SATURDAY

ABC – 8:30 PM: The visual effects are amazing and if you’ve never seen it War of the Worlds will have you sitting on the edge of your seat. Why not watch it for free?

DISCOVERY – 9:00 PM: Tonight Extreme Bodies goes to extreme opposites with one hour being about the people with conditions making them giants and the next hour being those with dwarfism.

SUNDAY

NBC – 7:00 PM: If you’ve been watching (ratings say odds are you weren’t) Merlin than you will want to watch the season finale tonight.

DISCOVERY – 7:00 PM: Four hours of Planet Earth is like candy for the eyes and food for the mind.

HIST – 9:00 PM: Nothing says fun like driving 300 miles without brakes on the season finale of Ice Road Truckers.

ABC – 10:00 PM: The crew hits the turn-back threshold and has to come to grips with it on Defying Gravity.

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