Welcome to another edition of TV or Not TV where I wasn’t anywhere near San Diego this weekend.
I’m not exactly sure when the San Diego Comic-Con became the entertainment experience juggernaut that is has but once again another year has come and gone without my being in attendance. Every year I long to go but being a person that lives a life of social seclusion I admit some trepedition to the thought of queueing in long lines to sit in on the many panels that different show runners / guests hold. After spending another year sitting outside of this fish-bowl I realize that since I’m not the kind of guy to try to get Vork to sign my The Guild t-shirt I can get the highlights of spoiler information from articles without the travel, hassle and lines that come from being there.
The bargain hunter in me longs to go for the endless supply of useless crap that they hand out. You know the stuff I mean? The things that seem really cool when you are there on the floor but when you get home you discover that your Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince canvas bag is overflowing with glowing bouncie-balls and a Burger King style crown featuring the cast of New Moon. Let’s face it, the stuff is future land-fill.
Truth be told I’d still love to go to Comic-Con one year, but in the interim if you hit up Entertainment Weekly or E! Online you can find out the information you would have hoped to have gained and you may even find a video or two of the panels I would have never had the patience to get in to.
Let’s turn away from the gathering of awesomeness that I once again snubbed and instead examine the sea of ineptitude that I like to call this week’s viewing choices.
MONDAY
ABC – 8:00 PM: It’s the event I’ve not watched all season for when The Bachellorette finally decides which of her two suitors she will be entwined with for at least the next two weeks in the media with. I know, I’m such a romantic.
TBS – 10:00 PM: Now that My Name is Earl has been unceramoniously dismissed from NBC tune in with me for the final hour of Earl‘s (thankfully) short stay in prison.
HIST – 9:00 PM: Winner of “Best Show Title of the Week” goes to Sex in ’69: Sexual Revolution in America.
TUESDAY
DISNEY – 7:00 PM: Looks like the house of mouse is trying to capture that coveted 3 to 13 year old little girl demographic with the airing of Return to Neverland followed by the Tinkerbelle movie.
NBC – 8:00 PM: If you’ve been following America’s Got Talent than I’m sure you won’t mind agreeing with me that it, in fact, does not.
USA – 8:00 PM: This week’s award for “Most Confusing Sounding Double Feature” goes to USA network with the airing of The Break-Up followed by 50 First Dates.
CBS – 10;00 PM: In case you missed Medium when it was virtually ignored by NBC during its last season you can catch it Tuesday nights until its Friday night fall premiere on CBS. Tonight’s episode involving daughter Ariel‘s health class partner gave me quite the chuckle the first time around and the episode has a good and solid kick in the gutt kind of ending.
WEDNESDAY
E! – 8:00 PM: Flash back with me and watch 50 Cutest Child Stars: All Grown Up followed by Favorite Child Stars: Where Are They Now?
ANIMAL PLANET – 9:00 PM: It’s Parasite city tonight on Monsters Inside Me.
TLC – 8:00 PM: The “Oddest Night of Subsequent Programming” award for this week goes to The Tinniest Toddlers followed by I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant and Toddlers & Tiaras.
THURSDAY
CBS – 8:00 PM: Another nut is kicked out of the asylum tonight on Big Brother 11. Want to play a fun game with me? Pay close attention to all the ways that host Julie Chen seems to be trying to cover up her pregnant belly.
NBC – 8:30 PM: The 30 Rock/The Office block party is broken up with repeats of Parks and Recreation. Since I gave up on it last season I may as well see it through now, right?
KQEDDT2 – 8:00 PM: This night’s winner of “Best Show Name that Sounds Nothing Like What it’s About” goes to Okie Noodling, a documentary about Oklahoma fisherman that use their bare hands to catch their underwater prey.
FRIDAY
NBC – 8:00 PM: Another NBC show returns in repeats with Southland airing it again from the beginning here on Friday night.
AMC – 8:00 PM: One of the best and most surprising movies for me to come out of 2001 was Training Day. I can watch it again and again but the harshness of it makes me want to curl up in a ball.
ANIMAL PLANET – 10:00 PM: Even though it originally bowed in May, the winner of the award for “Show Name that Could Be a Porn” goes to River Monsters: Amazon Flesh Eaters.
SATURDAY
NBC – 8:00 PM: There’s nothing like tapping into the hottest thing from 2005. Regular people take on the pros in a game of poker, hoping for the million dollar cash prize, in Face the Ace. Pretty soon we really are going to see things like Strip Solitaire aren’t we?
TRAVEL – 8:00 PM: The “Funniest Pairing of Channel and Movie” award goes to the Travel channel for tonight’s airing of National Lampoon’s Vacation.
ABC – 10:00 PM: Just as I was getting used to enjoying Castle at this time the alphabet net has decided to burn off the remaining episodes of Dirty Sexy Money. Here’s the last one of the two remaining.
SUNDAY
MSNBC – 8:00 PM: The “Creepiest Marathon” award goes out to tonight’s three hour block of To Catch A Predator.
ABC – 9:00 PM: The alphabet merges science fiction with Private Practice in their new space series Defying Gravity. Hey, at least Ron Livingston from Office Space is in it.
NBC – 9:00 PM: THE STORM is still out there! Hide underground! (Really, why did you keep watching after Merlin anyway?)
DISCOVERY – 9:00 PM: You may want to not have a steak dinner tonight as Shark Week kicks off with Blood in the Water. I know, tasty huh?
– Will Wilkins may have has some portions not relevant to the outcome of the game cut for time purposes.
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