By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

And now, you can follow me on Twitter under the name: Stipp. I’ve been finding that when you start to follow other people Alex Billington of First Showing.net and some other lightning rods of public opinion you got yourself an amusing petri dish of entertainment.

FAST AND FURIOUS – Screening

Now, first things first: Is there any among you living in Arizona who believes in the redemptive power of empty action?

Vin Diesel is back to the franchise that really launched him into the films that, well, set up his eventual arrival back to the franchise. Say what you will about THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS but it was a movie that was all parts action and no part brainpower. It’s one of those films that I still label as a guilty pleasure simply because I enjoy watching it. There isn’t anything redemptive about the story but there are really some excellent practical effects and it still holds up as the kind of movie you can enjoy if it just happens to pop up on cable.

Now, though, the gang is back in Justin Lin’s FAST & FURIOUS, coming into theaters April 3rd and here is the synopsis:

Vin Diesel and Paul Walker reteam for the ultimate chapter of the franchise built on speed—Fast & Furious. Heading back to the streets where it all began, they rejoin Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster to blast muscle, tuner and exotic cars across Los Angeles and floor through the Mexican desert in the new high-octane action-thriller.

When a crime brings them back to L.A., fugitive ex-con Dom Toretto (Diesel) reignites his feud with agent Brian O’Conner (Walker). But as they are forced to confront a shared enemy, Dom and Brian must give in to an uncertain new trust if they hope to outmaneuver him. And from convoy heists to precision tunnel crawls across international lines, two men will find the best way to get revenge: push the limits of what’s possible behind the wheel.

The screening is happening this Tuesday night, March 31st, at Tempe Marketplace and I only have a handful of tickets to give out. If you’re a winner I’ll put your name on the list and you’re as good as in. Just shoot me a note at Christopher_Stipp@yahoo.com.

BOLT – Blu-Ray/DVD Combo Giveaway

This is one of the most progressive things to happen in the home entertainment market. Say what you will about the battle between whether we’re all going digital or whether it’s better to stay safely in the DVD or Blu-Ray camp because Disney has just released last year’s BOLT, featuring the vocal stylings of John Travolta and Miley Cyrus, in handy Blu-Ray/DVD combo packs.

You don’t have to guess which to get as you fiddle around guessing whether you’re going to be upgrading in the next year or whether you’ll be able to take a digital copy with you in your portable media player. This combo pack also sports a digital copy along with the two other formats so I cannot recommend this release enough.

The film surprised me as I wasn’t really expecting much but I ended up genuinely enjoying this film and am happy to announce I am giving away 5 Blu-Ray/DVD combo packs to the first five people to shoot me a note at Christopher_Stipp@yahoo.com. I’ve also got tons of temporary tatoos, note pads, sticky pads and blow up toys so come one, come all.

For those in the dark about BOLT here is your synopsis:

For super-dog BOLT (voice of JOHN TRAVOLTA), every day is filled with adventure, danger and intrigue—at least until the cameras stop rolling. When the star of a hit TV show is accidentally shipped from his Hollywood soundstage to New York City, he begins his biggest adventure yet—a cross-country journey through the real world to get back to his owner and co-star, Penny (voice of MILEY CYRUS). Armed only with the delusions that all his amazing feats and powers are real, and the help of two unlikely traveling companions—a jaded, abandoned housecat named Mittens (voice of SUSIE ESSMAN) and a TV-obsessed hamster named Rhino (voice of MARK WALTON) —Bolt discovers he doesn’t need superpowers to be a hero. Directed by Disney veterans Chris Williams and Byron Howard, BOLT is a hilarious, fun-filled, action-packed animated comedy adventure in Disney Digital 3-D.

BOLT is currently available in retail stores everywhere…

THE EMPEROR HAS NO SOUL: MONSTERS VS. ALIENS – Review

Good, but not great. If you’re being honest and your crap detector is plugged in anyone watching the new film, MONSTERS VS. ALIENS, should have some kind of reaction along these lines.

Before I launch into the review here’s the synopsis:

When California girl Susan Murphy is unexpectedly clobbered by a meteor full of outer space gunk, she mysteriously grows to 49-feet-11-inches tall and is instantly labeled a “monster” named Ginormica. The military jumps into action, and she is captured and held in a secret government compound. The world learns that the military has been quietly rounding up other monsters over the years. This ragtag group consists of the brilliant but insect-headed Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D.; the macho half-ape, half-fish The Missing Link; the gelatinous and indestructible B.O.B.; and the 350-foot grub called Insectosaurus. Their confinement time is cut short however, when a mysterious alien robot lands on Earth and begins storming the country. As a last resort, under the guidance of General W.R. Monger (on a desperate order from The President), the motley crew of Monsters is called into action to combat the aliens and save the world from imminent destruction.

Featuring the voice talent of Seth Rogen, Reese Witherspoon, Hugh Laurie, Will Arnett, Stephen Colbert and Keifer Sutherland this film so much wants to be so much more than it is and more than it delivers. I’m not sure where exactly the movie comes off the rails as an enjoyable narrative but there are moments in the film where you feel like entire segments of the film are missing; that’s a false notion as it is obvious this production thinks it’s able to move from traumatic moment of woman getting married, turning into large woman and then going into battle to fight a giant robot, then an alien horde, her fighting acumen sharply honed in the 3 minutes worth of transitions and exposition that fails to endear you to the 4 characters we’re supposed to care most about in this film. To illustrate the point, why do we care as an audience about Sully and Mike at the end of MONSTERS, INC.? It’s because we’re given enough moments throughout the film that show us that although they may look bizarre and completely abnormal the storytellers at Pixar paid attention to their humanity, or that immutable and ambiguous essence of what would make you and I feel something for them, so that at the end of the film when Sully says good-bye to Boo you’re positioned to feel something human for this wholly made up beast.

MONSTERS VS. ALIENS does none of this.

The film manages to completely skirt the issue of emotional development and, as a result, you have a movie that ends up just being good, missing the opportunity to create a new hybrid of superhero monsters that you not only want to see more of but would pay money to see. As it stands this movie employs the kind of 3-D showboating that we now make fun of in FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 3 where the direction takes a back seat to using camera tricks to show you how neat-o it is to have objects flying towards your face. Don’t get me wrong, however, as the effects are genuinely a delight. You haven’t seen real 3-D until you’ve seen a crisp digital picture unencumbered by ill fitting red and blue glasses of yore tossing enough visually appealing objects towards your eyes. I believe the filmmakers have compensated enough so that those who find themselves in a 2-D theater won’t feel put out but it genuinely takes this humdrum story and launches it into another dimension. The effect is so convincing that at times your senses are tricked into thinking this world is all before you in real time. That’s amazing technology, to be sure, but the story suffers.

We’re introduced to all the monsters shortly after Reese Witherspoon becomes the super woman that we will know as Ginormica but even though we’re rapidly introduced to Susan as a wee little human and then see her transform within the span of the first 15 minutes we’re still hurried through everyone’s back story, all well told with nods to classic sci-fi films, and there is nary an attempt to make these monsters more, well, like you and I. I wanted to appreciate B.O.B.’s eccentricities more than I did, Seth Rogan has found the outlet where his guttural laughter actually accentuates the character he’s playing, to feel some connection to Dr. Cockroach or even feel something other than neutrality for The Missing Link. In an effort to appease an ADD audience, it seems, who would be unwilling to stand still for more than a minute we are rushed through his story of a savage robot, laying siege to San Francisco. Some illogical progressions of the story and ample derring-do to give the kiddos something to gawk at aside this set piece framed the tone for the rest of the film.

If you’re a fan of Stephen Colbert, his voice gives life to the part of an ineffectual but violence-embracing president of the United States, then you know what you’re getting. There’s nothing new here besides a genuinely humorous moment when the prez gets loose on a synthesizer in order to communicate with an alien ship and busts out “Axel F” as his sonata. His character, along with Kiefer Sutherland’s turn as the hard-ass military man who is in charge of the monsters, feels like someone we’ve already seen before, hackneyed even. Put these elements together and you’ve got yourself a briskly paced film that doesn’t require you to feel anything more than delight as the movie takes you on a visual feast (there are some moments when the visual palette is just bursting with detail) where the plot devices that bring us into the 3rd act just seem convient if not completely forced fed.

Much more of the same pervades the eventual climax of the film where our fine heroes find themselves aboard a spaceship, faced with the pressing threat of world domination should they fail. And of course they do not fail, it’s the actions of the team other than Ginormica which become more interesting than she is, and we’re all treated to an ending full of treacle and possibility that Part 2 is going to be coming at you in a few years.

The problems I have with this film were enough to land this movie in the “Good, but not great” category. This is, however, a film aimed at kids so my point here could be, well, pointless. Parents are always looking out for movies that appeal to their children and as this is the movie business, this investment, this commodity, for Dreamworks will absolutely bring them delicious dividends. As a movie that will be revered, be looked at with respect and awe, though, you can count on MONSTERS VS. ALIENS to be relevant in the moment and then be relegated to all the other films that will sit on a shelf, blurred out in time to other movies that have given the audience a little more than this did.

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