BAHAMA — Why would any sane person be standing in front of an outdoor stage as Tropical Storm Hanna takes aim on their town? Two words: Chuck Berry. Add a third: Free!
In order to celebrate another overpriced and unnecessary convention center in America, the city of Raleigh barricaded off the downtown area. A stage was set up in the middle of the street so that the tens of thousands could bask in the revival. Who better to bring the people to the location than the man who launched rock and roll? What American doesn’t know “Roll Over Beethoven,” “Sweet Little Sixteen” and “My Ding-a-Ling?” “Johnny B. Goode” ought to be our National Anthem.
Unfortunately this planning didn’t involve weather forecasting. The storm was coming up the coast. The idiots in charge of the outdoor festival didn’t have an emergency indoor plan. It’s a shame they didn’t have a building that could house thousands of people like a convention center. A few of us tempted nature’s fury to get a glimpse of the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer. That night the heavens were looking out for Chuck as his set was positioned between two severe down bursts. His ship’s captain’s hat stayed dry. The nasty weather shrunk the possible crowd down to a few hundred people. This worked out well as I got close to the stage. As a sign of respect, I won’t joke about how I was close enough to Chuck for him to do a certain act.
The man is approaching 82 years old so he’s not a performer that you say, “I’ll catch you next year.” He’s not going to live forever like Dick Clark or Billy Ray Cyrus. Chuck appeared to be in good health. He wasn’t chair bound like other performers from the Happy Days era. The crowd was thrilled when he broke out a mini-duck walk. Chuck also pulled off wearing the shiny shirt like Neil Diamond.
This will not be remembered as the greatest Chuck Berry concert. The set lasted over thirty minutes. He even admitted to blowing the lyrics on a song that he’s been singing for over half a century. But all that can be overlooked since it was a chance to bask in the presence of Chuck Berry. Plus I didn’t have to buy a ticket, pay a convenience fee and get shafted with a parking charge. It was a perfect way to pay respect to a man who brought so much to music. If it wasn’t for Chuck Berry, the Rolling Stones would have been influenced by Mitch Miller. Hail, Hail, Chuck Berry.
A TRIBUTE TO DGG
For fans of Pineapple Express, I bring you the 5th anniversary re-issue of All the Real George Washingtons featuring Matt Booth as David Gordon Green.
Enjoy the tribute to Stubb’s BBQ.
TOTAL REQUEST DOA
I’m so thrilled the MTV is canceling TRL since it means we no longer have to worry about what the kids are going to make popular. No longer will I be tempted to see screaming girls begging for their future-husbands to be chosen #1 by the callers.
There was a time when TRL really mattered back in the 20th Century. It prepared us for the Orlando Pop Tart Invasion when any ex-Disney employee who could sing, dance and not get served a beer could be a star. TRL was truly a machine as all the stars were moving a million albums during their debut week. This place launched more rockets than the Kennedy Space Center.
Ultimately TRL’s legacy will be one of infamy. If it wasn’t for TRL, would we have Carson Daly being a massive tool on NBC? Where would Sean Combs be if he hadn’t graced that studio as Puff Daddy, Pee Diddy, Diddy Boo, Bo Diddley? Carson and Combs should be put on a stamp celebrating “The Decline of Western Civilization.” And what about the crime known as Fred Durst? TRL will never be mistaken for a truly cool and culturally influential show like USA’s Night Flight. TRL‘s legacy will be as dork parade.
The sad part about TRL’s decline is the end of John Norris’ creepy news updates. Here’s a guy pushing 50 with rugs on his head that are so hideous that William Shatner and Burt Reynolds mock him. Yet somehow he’s allowed to be near the screaming teenies. Where is John Norris going to go? Someone needs to put a GPS on his ankle cause I don’t want to see him lurking in my Piggly Wiggly. Maybe Norris will be playing doubles tennis with Pat O’Brien?
THE DVD SHELF
The Godfather Collection: The Coppola Restoration Blu-ray makes me feel good that I didn’t blow $100 on the original DVD boxset back in 2001. The late Raymond J. Regis treated me to screenings of his original Technicolor 35mm prints of Godfather I &II. I know what these films really should look like on a screen. The original DVD transfers didn’t do justice to the darkness painted on the screen by cinematographer Gordon Willis. There was a milky feel to the digital blackness. People nagged me about my “incomplete” collection since there was no Godfather on the shelf. But now there’s a new transfer on 1080p. The picture brings out all the nuances of the film. Now you get the whole story of the Michael Corleone (Al Pacino). He’s a mobster’s son who just wants to live an honest life in a dirty business. The boxset includes Godfather III, but does anyone really care? Remember to pick up some cannoli with this Blu-ray boxset.
Bigger Stronger Faster is an unflinching documentary about the world of steroids from Chris Bell, the host and director. He explores the issue of muscle juicing through his brothers who have been involved in football, pro-wrestling and weightlifting. It plays at first as a cautionary tale, but delves into the hysteria about the dangers of using roids. Are they really as evil as the anti-doping officials claim? Bell exposes the crusading father of a high school baseball player that committed suicide. The father told Congress that his baseball playing son offed himself after going cold turkey on roids. The father refused to believe the numerous depression fighting pills taken by the son could have anything to do with the tragic end. Perhaps what’s upsetting is realizing all the really famous people who took steroids before the ban have gone on to fabulous careers including a certain Terminator that became governor. Why did Carl Lewis fail a drug test in 1988, but was still allowed to compete and win gold in the Olympics. Bigger Stronger Faster dares to question if roids are on par with Tiger Woods getting Lasik surgery so his eyes can see better than 20/20.
This American Life: Season One brings video to Ira Glass’s radio show. The Showtime series however doesn’t have pledge breaks. The first six episodes of This American Life set it apart from the usual news magazine series. They allow their subjects to talk and emotionally explore themselves. This isn’t a slam-bam style. “Reality Check” deals with a guy who cloned his prize winning bull. He quickly discovers that there is a difference in genetically identical cattle.
The Brotherhood: The Second Season ups dynamics of the Rhode Island family that’s torn between a life of crime and a career in politics. Is there really that much of a difference? Crook aren’t allowed to ignore subpoenas. Brotherhood has a gritty feel to the action. It’s not a cute mobster series. These are the characters I have encountered in the Providence Dunkin Donuts at 11 a.m. Brotherhood, Dexter and The Tudors have put Showtime ahead of HBO in the original drama department.
Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil Uncensored dares to weigh the wickedness of two cultural icons. Lewis Black brings his flabbergasted humor to the courtroom. Two comics try to prove that their subject is the worst thing since the XFL. The subjects debated this season include “Weed vs. Beer,” “YouTube vs. Porn,” “Donald Trump vs. Viagra,” “Kim Jong-Il vs. Tila Tequila” and “Paris Hilton vs. Dick Cheney.” Those are battles worthy of UFC pay-per-views. Greg Giraldo and Patton Oswalt always bring top wit in the legal format. This version is uncensored although that doesn’t mean Kathleen Madigan drops her top for a shot at European tort action. You’ll get to hear Lewis go potty mouth on subjects worthy of being flushed.
CSI: NY – The Fourth Season has the 333 Stalker on the loose. If it hadn’t been for the writer’s strike, he could have been the 666 Stalker. They also remixed The Who’s “Baba O’Riley” on the opening credits. “Can You Here Me Now” features a murder at the Statue of Liberty. It doesn’t involve the annoying cellphone guy. “Time’s Up” gives them 24 hours to stop a murder. “Happily Never After” opens with a Wizard of Oz crime clue. I suspect the Tinman. Death is all over Manhattan. Luckily Gary Sinise and Melina Kanakaredes are ready to bust all the killers. There’s 21 episodes on 6 DVDs.
Growing Up Wilderness contains four more episodes about how cute animals grow up into ferocious beasts. This disc shows the maturity spurts of a wolf, black bear, sitka deer and a moose. Not to spoil the last episode, but it doesn’t feature Sarah Palin killing and dressing the star. This is a good to watch with the young kids so they can know that cute animals will eat you if you pester them. The Animal Planet production is entertaining and educational.
Friday the 13th, The Series: The 1st Season takes me back to hanging out in Tom Olsen’s dorm room on the weekends while we waited to be fashionably late for Party Central action. This is not the continuing adventures of Jason Voorhees. He isn’t popping up in his hockey mask and chopping off guest star heads with his machete. Instead we’re given two cousin who inherit an antique store. They quickly realize that the old stuff sold was cursed by Satan. They have to recover the objects before things get more evil. Robey is the gal with red hair that was the precursor to Gillian Anderson on The X-Files. It’s lite ’80s horror fun.
Numb3rs: The Fourth Season gets to the point. For years I wondered what was the point on inflicting high level calculus classes on my feeble brain. What good are those proofs and theorems? Thanks to this series, I know that you can track down serial killers with trigonometry. Numb3rs is well cast with a family of brainiacs: Rob Morrow (Northern Exposure), Judd Hirsch (Taxi) and David Krumholtz (who isn’t Doogie Howser’s buddy). The kick off of the season is intense as they have to figure out if a close pal is really a double agent for the Chinese. The shocker is seeing Val Kilmer playing the bad guy. He hasn’t been this wicked since playing the Iceman in Top Gun. There’s a Taxi reunion when Christopher Lloyd appears in “Graphic.” Numb3rs is the perfect show for the math nerd that wants to feel CSI: Macho.
Samantha Who? The Complete First Season puts Christina Applegate’s star power back in the sit-com galaxy. Instead of playing a forgetful daughter on Married….with Children, she is now an amnesiac daughter on Samantha Who? After coming out of a coma, Samantha has to figure out who she was and who put her into the coma. There’s plenty of flashbacks with wild haircuts. She was not a nice girl in her former life. Finding out why she’s banned from Chicago Blackhawks games is hilarious. Making this fun for me is seeing Jennifer Esposito as the not quite nice friend. The boxset has 15 episodes on 2 DVDs.
My Three Sons: The First Season, Volume One reminds us of the power of St. William Frawley. After he stopped playing Fred Mertz on I Love Lucy, he moved in with Fred MacMurray and three kids. He became the mom to them. Frawley knew how to toss the sass around when he got stuck in the apron. The DVD set contains the first 18 episodes. Frawley’s episodes weren’t given the syndication action in the mid-70s since they were in black and white. We got stuck with the color episodes featuring William Demarest as Uncle Charley. Finally getting to see Frawley in action on My Three Sons is like uncovering fresh footage of Babe Ruth at the plate. He knew how to knock ’em out of the park.
Holiday Treats brings 8 Christmas episodes of Paramount owned shows onto one DVD. This is perfect for those who enjoy just wrapping yourself around the holiday. All the classics and a few recent shows get to shine their seasonal specials linked. I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, Andy Griffith Show, The Brady Bunch, Taxi, Family Ties, Frasier and Wings get into the Santa action. You don’t have to worry about the suits at TVLand providing your seasonal nostalgia. Plus there’s no commercials to cut into the holiday cheer. Is it time for egg nog?
The Beverly Hillbillies: The Official Second Season is a bit confusing since there is no Official First Season. MPI Home Video put out two boxsets and a Christmas special DVD that covered the first season and half of the second. Don’t get too confused cause you shouldn’t think so much to enjoy one of the greatest sitcoms of all time. The plot is simple. A backwoods family discovers their worthless land is above a massive oil reserve. They make so much cash that the poor family is vaulted into the most illustrious house in Beverly Hills. No matter how much people try to culture them, the Clampetts remain true to their country roots. I can’t get enough Jethro in my daily diet. The DVD set includes the original sponsor promos that came after the credits. This includes the spots for Winston cigarettes. You also get the sponsor “codas” where the Clampetts wrap up the action with a plug including taking a few fresh packs up to their new house guests. There’s 36 episodes on 5 DVDs.
Beauty and the Beast: The Complete Series is often mistaken as a TV show for the ladies. But this series isn’t a Harlequin Romance, but a Judd Apatow Super Schlub spectacular. A hairy man-beast of a guy lives a Dungeons and Dragons lifestyle in his father’s basement. One night while stumbling home, he trips over the hot mom from Terminator. She becomes deeply in love with the man who doesn’t have a real full-time job. Isn’t the dream of every boy with polyhedral dice in their sock drawer? Who is more hairy on screen, Ron Perlman as the subterranean Vincent or Seth Rogen? Ultimately Beauty and the Beast is a man’s fantasy cause I don’t know any women who dream of wearing as much fabric as Linda Hamilton’s wardrobe. This is the perfect gift for the professional woman in your life as proof that you can’t have a full-time job cause then you won’t have time to fight crime in the subway tunnels.
Mission: Impossible, The Fifth Season brings a new female face to the force. Tasty Lesley Ann Warren plays Dana Lambert. She’s the new Cinnamon. Leonard Nimoy returns for his second and final season as Paris the man of disguises. Cack and other ladies will swoon with the arrival of Sam Elliott (Big Lebowski) as an IMF member. “The Killer” has Robert Conrad (The Wild Wild West) as a hitman who conducts his business so randomly that it confuses Peter Graves and his crew. “Flip Side” has a drug smuggling operation run by Sal Mineo (Rebel Without a Cause). Unlike the last few seasons, there are no multi-episode stories.
Madagascar Blu-ray and Shrek the Third Blu-ray demonstrate how stunning this format is for computer animation. The programmed textures on the characters shine as they move across the screen. The penguins in Madagascar dominate in 1080p. Shrek the Third reunites Orge and Donkey for another adventure. This time there’s a coup d’etat that needs to be put down. Little kids will be dazzled by the extra pixels at work. This is what it must look like to watch the film at the animation studio on the super-computer.
Foot Fist Way launched Danny McBride into comic stardom with his recent roles in Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder and the upcoming Land of the Lost. But there’s no big time star friends in this indie comedy. Danny plays a pissed off Karate instructor who takes out his frustrations on all those around him. The film plays like a North Carolina School of the Arts reunion special with the cast and crew. Danny and Ben Best keep this from being an inside joke for the Fighting Pickles crowd. This is a must grab if you laughed at Danny’s roles with Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Seth Rogen.
Iron Man: 2-Disc Special Collector’s Edition Blu-ray would have been the superhero event of the year if it hadn’t been for The Dark Knight. Damn that Batman! Robert Downey Jr. delivers on his ability to bring edgy aspects to a comic book character. His eyes reveal the baggage of being a self-destructive genius. That’s something they can’t teach at RADA. This is one of those films that screams for the wonder of Blu-ray. The action of the Iron Man suit can’t be contained on a crummy normal TV. You’ll want that full home cinema experience.
Click & Clack: As the Wrench Turns animates the public radio car repair series. The 10 episodes are aimed at kids and not gearheads. Although for those who don’t have an extensive auto education, this might be the perfect introduction to what the heck is going on beneath the hood. This is Dora the Explorer with real educational value. This is the perfect gift for an elementary schooler who can identify various makes and models of cars.
I Want Candy dares to show us a alternate universe with Carmen Electra as a blonde. Two English videographers who do strange gigs like taping funerals. They find a source to fund the budget to their thrilling script. But there’s one catch – they have to cast Candy Fiveways (Electra) as the lead. She’s a porn star. So they adapt the script. Electra does a mean Jenna Jameson. There’s a cameo from Jimmy Carr, the host of Comedy Central’s Distraction. It’s a proper naughty British film that would receive a salute from Benny Hill.
Finding Amanda forces a writer-producer (Matthew Broderick) to arrive in Las Vegas to rescue his niece (Hairspray‘s Brittany Snow) from her career as a prostitute. Trouble is that Broderick has a problem with drugs, drinking and gambling. He needs more saving from the Strip. Why can’t Hollywood ever make a film about a guy who drinks, does a little recreational drugs and gambles without having him be a candidate for rehab? I know these people exist in Hollywood. I’ve meetings with them. Keep your eyes open for Patrick Fischler who plays Jimmy Barrett on Mad Men. You might miss him since he’s not carrying a bag of Utz chips. Steve Coogan is a pit boss with a history with Broderick. He wants to make sure that Broderick’s gambling problem is cured. That problem is a matter of credit. It’s a bitter sweet comedy and seems like the proper follow-up to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. This is Ferris Bueller On the Rocks
MUST CELLBLOCK TV
Hey MSNBC Fans: Are you ready for Locktober? I’ve already stashed my shiv. Guess where? Wrong!
Who do you think would make a better shiv: Joe Scarborough, Chris Matthews or Rachel Maddow?
MILK ME, TY!
What the heck is Ty Pennington doing as the pitchman for Similac? He’s not married and doesn’t have any kids. Who better to sell milk to nursing mothers. Was Billy Mays booked that weekend? This goes up there with Crest signing Shane McGowan.
FAREWELL COPY CENTER
A part of me is sad with the announcement that Kinko’s Copy Centers are gone. After their merger with FedEx, the Memphis based company has decided there’s no need for a FedEx-Kinkos sign in the world. Soon all your stores will be rebranded FedEx Office.
Too much of my college years were spent inside the Kinko’s across the street from the campus. We were thrilled the night we saw Matt Feazell copying his upcoming Cynicalman comic. And we lived for their 2 1/2 cent copy sales. That was production season.
Seems like the overnight delivery crew decided their was something unmanly about having to tack “Kinko” onto their name. Or perhaps like me, they remember this Dr. Demento classic when they hear “Kinko”
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