Looking back at last week I feel very compelled to write about something that I think every single year but never vocalize: What American Idol is doing wrong.
Yes, I watch American Idol. I can’t help it. It draws my attention every year in the same sadistic way that I have to look at an auto accident when passing by. After you get that first glance you can’t look away. Not everyone, however, watches American Idol and this year there were periods where the drop in viewers were press worthy. How is it that this show of Titanic size and momentum have these types of lulls? The answers, from this arm chair critics perspective, are very clear and I can’t believe that the show producers and the FOX network don’t have them as well.
1. The weekly guest music professionals are as relevant as an 80’s newspaper would be today
The American Idol demographic is young. Let’s be honest. With this single bit of knowledge how much do you think these young viewers are going to care about Neil Diamond, Dolly Parton or Andrew Lloyd Weber? The season frickin’ finale even had Grand Nash, Donna Summer, Bryan Adams and George “Busted in a Bathroom” Michael. Most twenty somethings wouldn’t even know who these people are, so it won’t draw them in as viewers. The logic of trying to cater to the parents of those that are actually watching is good on paper, but poor in execution.
2. It doesn’t take an hour to give 10 minutes of results
Does this one really even need explaining? Nothing screams filler more than medleys, guest artists most of the audience hasn’t heard of singing songs no one has heard of, and the worst offender of all: Ryan Seacrest taking PHONE CALLS! This isn’t a radio show Ryan, let it go. Special side note: it also doesn’t take two hours to tell us which of two people are taking the title. Stop trying to get Super Bowl numbers. Make it an hour and bring back the past Idol winners to perform because THAT works.
3. Music is OK in movies, but plugging movies on American Idol doesn’t work
It made a small part of me die inside to see Iron Man singing as a Pip to help push Tropic Thunder on the finale. Jim Carey’s week on the show was horribly embarrassing and I want to see The Love Guru even less than I did before seeing Mike Myers do his tired shtick on the finale. I’m sure the studios are throwing mega-dollars at the show to get them on but it just doesn’t work.
4. Idol Gives Back? Please… Idol give up
Don’t get me wrong, I like that the world has another telethon to enjoy, but the celebrity video montages make me cringe. There is a point where you approach being too self important, and Idol Gives Back does just that.
These are my top four. I won’t go into any more because the reality is that what I type won’t change a thing. At least I feel better.
It goes without saying that there is only one day this week that I am waiting for: Thursday. You can get a full three hours of the LOST finale this week when the first part that aired two week’s ago airs in the 8:00 PM slot tonight followed by the two hour season finale starting at 9:00 PM. The 8:00 PM repeat actually is an item of interest because the press conference with the Oceanic Six in this re-air actually has additional footage not originally aired.
Now for the real reason you dropped in, to see everything that is (or in this case isn’t) on TV this week.
MONDAY
SCIFI – 8:00 AM: Nothing says the remembering of our nation’s heroes more then a Star Trek: Enterprise marathon.
ABC – 8:00 PM: In Vacation Swap two families who have never met go on vacation together. How exactly is this a swap? This was more like my childhood every summer after we moved to a new neighborhood.
CW – 8:00 PM: Gossip Girl is in repeats now so if you missed it the first go around (like me) than you can now watch it from the beginning (unlike me).
A&E – 9:00 PM: Ridley and Tony Scott produced a modern retelling of The Andromeda Strain. Tonight is Part 1 and I hear it is the better of the two.
TUESDAY
FOX – 8:00 PM: Just when you thought it was safe to watch TV, it’s back! The Moment of Truth has returned to ruin friendships, marriages and lives.
CW – 9:00 PM: Reaper is also starting over from the beginning. Drink it in.
A&E – 9:00 PM: Part 2 of The Andromeda Strain.
WEDNESDAY
FX – 8:00 PM: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a bounty hunter who has to locate Sean William Scott in The Rundown. The movie is nothing but good absurd fun.
VH1 – 9:00 PM: In case you missed the finale of Flavor of Love last week you can take it in again tonight, followed by the Reunion show. It’s trash-tastic.
THURSDAY
SCIFI – 7:00 PM – 11:00 PM: The SciFi channel is re-airing the 2002 miniseries Stephen King’s Rose Red. This is my suggestion if you aren’t in to…
ABC – 8:00 PM – 11:00 PM: You can enjoy all three parts of the LOST season finale tonight. I don’t know how many questions will be answered, but I expect that by the end of this night we’ll know how Ben wound up in the desert in a parka, who was in the coffin in the last season finale, and the exact reason why Jack is so compelled to get back to the Island.
FRIDAY
ABC Family – 8:00 PM: See what life was like for Lindsey Lohan before all of her current problems in Mean Girls. It’s a much nicer version of Heathers for the current generation, with a far lower body count.
ANIMAL PLANET – 8:00 PM: Get ready to oooh and ahhh watching Meerkat Manor: The Story Begins. I never would have thought I’d find a bunch of animals so compelling, but watching this you do.
SATURDAY
BRAVO – 8:00 PM: The original Major League had Charlie Sheen as a bad boy before we knew he really was one and an innocent looking Wesley Snipes. This movie also makes both baseball and Cleveland entertaining. It’s far more bubble gum than Bull Durham and is easy on the brain entertainment.
SHO – 9:00 PM: The reset of the James Bond films was executed flawlessly with the new version of Casino Royale.
SUNDAY
MTV – 8:00 PM: Mike Myers is hosting this year’s MTV Movie Awards. I’m sure that another painful appearance of The Love Guru will occur, but try to not let that dissuade you.
TNT – 8:00 PM: The movie that introduced us to the concept of the hooker with a heart of gold, Pretty Woman, is on. I think this movie is an award winner for the largest number of continuity errors on screen. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Watch as Julia Roberts is eating a pancake that goes from half eaten to whole again. See, I CAN give you a reason to watch the movie again!
USA – 10:00 PM: If you feel like you’ve been seeing commercials for In Plain Sight for a while it is because you have (over six months to be exact). The good news is that it is worth the wait and once again USA is giving us a quality show. Mary McCormack turns in a great performance in this story of a woman secretly working as a US Marshall who hides people in the Witness Protection Program. This will also help you to kill time if you are waiting for…
CARTOON NETWORK – 11:30 PM: The Venture Brothers is one of the most intelligently written cartoons to come along in a long time. It’s one of the few shows I’ve ever watched on Cartoon Network’s adult swim and I can’t tell you how much I’ve been looking forward to its return.
– Will Wilkins just got back from Disneyland and practically phoned this one in.
Comments: 1 Comment
One Response to “TV Or Not TV: 5/26 – 6/1”Leave a Reply |
May 26th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
we get it, American Idol sucks, I didn’t watch any of it this season, this list seems very incomplete, but forgivable seeing as you just returned from Disneyland.