After last week, all I can say is, “Wow.” (Good thing I took to writing, it’s brought out the exposition and eloquence in me.)I tend to gush over LOST (or I tend to be completely confused with the things that go on with the show).

Last week’s episode of LOST, which if you missed you can still watch on line at ABC.COM, was just phenomenal. Usually I wouldn’t say something about a show that seemed to impact the ongoing story very little, but this episode was special. It was nail biting, it was tense, and it is the type of experience I like from LOST without having that aforementioned confusion or sense of bafflement. Benjamin Linus proved himself to be one of the small screens most formidable foes, most diabolical thinkers, and one of the best written villains. The approach the writers and producers of LOST have taken with this character is very simplistic, and in that simplicity he is creepier than all get out. When he speaks he does so clearly, concisely and he operates on a level of complexity that comes in waves instead of ripples every time we learn something new. Even the subtlety of his actions shows this, as he is playing his piano when he learns of an incoming attack. He springs from his piano bench and lifts the lid, revealing a shot gun, which he then hands over to someone else as they get ready for the attach. He’s the bad guy, he’s had a gun the whole time he’s been “captive” and no one knew it. EVIL!

That being said, there isn’t much that I am actually looking forward to. By now you know my favorites so I tried to steer a little clear of those while compiling this week’s list. Enjoy.

MONDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: Not since the Star Wars Holiday Special has TV seen a night of television like what is on tonight’s Deal or No Deal. Darth Vader sits in for the banker, the girls with the cases are dressed up like Princess Leia on Jabba’s sand barge, and another part of my fond childhood memories are destroyed.

CBS – 8:30 PM: Barney may have done the deed with Robin, and now he must face the music with Ted on How I Met Your Mother. This one may be legen-(wait for it)-dary.

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: I know that each week I talk about what is happening on American Idol but how can I not when it just keeps getting better and better… this week’s guest mentor is Neil Diamond. I call dibs on Sweet Caroline.

AMC – 8:00 PM: Relive the joy original training sequence film with The Karate Kid. Relive the pain of the sequel right after with The Karate Kid Part II.

WEDNESDAY

CW – 8:00 PM: Nothing says ratings like a number 1 hit in Belgium and Norway. Tonight watch as women embarrass themselves for a farmer that looks more like an underwear model on Farmer Wants a Wife.

HIST – 9:00 PM: Tonight on MonsterQuest they review the eyewitness reports of a hair man-beast called “dogman.” They went looking for a Ware-wolf, this is the best they could come up with.

THURSDAY

CW – 8:00 PM: It’s a Wonderful Life tonight when Clark thinks the world would be better if he had never landed in Smallville. Jor-El plays Clarence as I yawn at an obvious last minute lazy script submission.

FUSE – 8:00 PM: If you haven’t seen The Big Lebowski I highly recommend you do. It really ties the room together.

ABC – 10:00 PM: Tonight on LOST Jack has appendicitis. Since we’ve already seen him off the Island I’m dying to know how this causes tension. I also don’t know how they can possibly top last week.

FRIDAY

USA – 8:00 PM: You know how I know you’re… oh never mind, just watch The 40 Year Old Virgin and then show me your instincts.

MTV – 9:00 PM: A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila… MySpacers, I blame you for this.

SATURDAY

THE N – 3:00 PM: Get your fill of Canadian teen drama with a Degrassi: The Next Generation marathon.

TLC – 9:00 PM: Turn back time and get all shook up as a Cher impersonator and an Elvis impersonator are Trading Spaces.

TNT – 10:00 PM: There’s something in the water and it is JAWS. No line in movie history has had more comedy and fear delivered with it than, “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

SUNDAY

E! – 8:00 PM: See if you can keep up for three hours with Keeping Up With the Kardashians

CBS – 9:00 PM: It’s a two hour Dexter season finale tonight. Find out who the Ice Truck Killer is in this Clash of the Sociopathic Titans.

– Will Wilkins is not The Ice Truck Killer.

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