Welcome back TV viewers. We find ourselves here again; same bat-time, same bat-channel.

This week is one of the bleakest yet, but it also represents the light at the end of the tunnel for those of us suffering through the after effects of the WGA strike. I’d love to try to lie to you but Tuesday and Wednesday are not going to be very fun if you aren’t in to American Idol. If you don’t like Survivor or sitcoms then Thursday isn’t going to be very exciting either. I also have to say that you can pretty much write off the weekend for being able to watch much of anything very good. Fans of LOST also get to let out a collective groan because they still have another four weeks to wait for a new episode.

I did, however, say something about a light at the end of the tunnel. That tiny glimmer of hope comes from the fact that we are starting to see many shows return with new episodes. This is going to be a trend that we see happen every week of the month, with new shows being in full effect for May. It’s kind of like winter ending all over again isn’t it?

The biggest event this week, which is noted below, is that Battlestar Galactica is returning on the SCIFI channel. This is a mixed bag of good news/bad news because it is the show’s final season; however it doesn’t really matter because one should just be happy to get any bit of a show that has this much quality and caliber. The writing on this show is amazing, the acting is great, and they ended last season on one heck of a cliff hanger. I would be more than willing to bet that Friday will give the SCIFI channel some of their biggest ratings ever, and I predict they will definitely deserve them. In other words, don’t call me Friday night because I’ll be watching BSG and the ringer will be turned off.

So let’s all let out a collective sigh of relief because April is upon us and we’ll soon be knee deep in new shows.

Now, on with the countdown.

MONDAY

FOX – 9:00 PM: Tonight on New Amsterdam a homicide victim looks like one of the 63 kids that John has fathered in his 400 years of life. With that many kids what are the odds that someone in New York isn’t related to him?

NBC – 10:00 PM: Last week on Medium we saw one of the creepiest scenarios that Alison has had to deal with yet, and the perpetrator for once is a woman. This week she goes head-to-head with this serious sociopath, and I’m hoping for a serious cat fight.

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight on American Idol the contestants sing the songs of Dolly Parton and she’ll be on hand to coach them. I can’t wait to hear Dave Cook sing 9 to 5. I bet you’re waiting for me to say, “April Fools!” aren’t you? Sorry.

FOX – 9:00 PM: Fifteen new people sign up for the torture and honor of trying to become the Executive Chef at a Gordon Ramsey’s new restaurant in the latest installment of Hell’s Kitchen. This show is pure sadomasochism for those too scared to actually put on a ball gag.

WEDNESDAY

FOX – 9:00 PM: An event I’m sure you’ve all been dying to see on American Idol; Dolly Parton SINGS! Tune in for 42 minutes of pain and watch another young hopeful’s dream get shattered.

HIST – 9:00 PM: I think the producers of MonsterQuest are stuck in a rut. Last week it was the Skunk Ape, this week they look at Josef Stalin’s attempts at breeding man and ape. Next week they’ll try to track down the elusive Grape Ape.

THURSDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: The good news is that My Name is Earl is back and it’s a full hour. The bad news is that stunt casting is in full effect with Paris Hilton playing herself. If it were two days earlier I would be hoping this was an April Fool’s joke.

ABC – 8:00 PM: I hope you didn’t blink because the season finale of Miss/Guided is already here. You start to like a new show and just like Keyser Souze… poof… it’s gone.

NBC – 9:00 – 11:00 PM: After Earl why not take in four back to back episodes of The Office?

FRIDAY

CBS – 8:00 PM: Ghost Whisperer is back from the afterlife of the WGA Strike tonight. What can I say? At least it’s not a repeat or reality TV.

SCIFI – 9:00 AM: Because I missed mentioning it last week I’m going to bring up both Battlestar Galactica: Revealed and Battlestar Galactica: The Phenomenon for this lovely Friday morning. The former is hosted by Executive Producers Ronald D. Moore and David Eick to get us caught up on all the important things that happened in the previous seasons. The latter is a collection of celebrities talking about the impact the new Galactica has had. These are all a great primer for…

SCIFI – 10:00 PM: Finally, the return of Battlestar Galactica! ‘Nuff said?

SATURDAY

FOXREAL – 12:00 PM: One of the funniest and cruelest reality shows that FOX ever put out was My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé. Today FOX REALITY is airing back to back episodes of the shows entire run. It is mean, it is cruel and it is FABULOUS! Drink it in.

SCIFI – 3:00 PM: Relive the terror of 10.5 and 10.5: Apocalypse. No, the terror isn’t from the earthquakes; it’s from the writing, the acting, and Beau Bridges eyebrows!

ABC – 8:00 PM: Tune in for one of the two blandest adaptations of JK Rowling’s books with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I’ve got a soft spot for the books so if you have no idea what a Muggle is than tune in, won’t you?

SUNDAY

TNT– 12:30 PM: It’s Lord of the Rings Sunday on TNT as all three films in the trilogy are shown back-to-back-to-back. This should be TNT’s highest ratings score for males 18 to 35… living in their parents basements.

ABC – 8:00 PM: Tonight the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition team goes all the way to Billings, Montana to build a new home for a family living in a refurbished chicken coop. I’m dying to see what a refurbished chicken coop looks like. I bet it’s still better than most New York apartments.

FOX – 9:00 PM: I’m very hesitant to recommend Family Guy tonight, but if you didn’t catch their Star Wars special episode than tonight is your second chance to see it. It will elicit at least a few laughs.

– Will Wilkins didn’t know what the frak to put here this week.

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