Welcome to another week of abysmal television viewing.

I don’t mean to start this column off on a negative note, but there really isn’t a lot to look forward to for decent boob tube-ry this week. Right now we are adrift in a sea of reality television and program repeats. The shows that are new are either mid-season replacement shows (another term for “crap we didn’t have enough faith to put on the air unless the other crap that we put on the air fails”) or sitcoms, which aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.

Amidst all of this one of the quality television shows out there is coming to an end. For the second time Jericho has been canceled by CBS. It doesn’t really come as a big surprise, but at least fans of the show got something that most don’t get now a day: closure. We will never know the fate of John Doe, we’ll not know where the baby came from on Lois and Clark, and we won’t ever find out exactly what happened to The Nine. Jericho fans at least know what happened in the battle with New Bern and will be given an appropriate series finale (as the producers had two endings shot to cover the show continuing or ending here).

In last week’s article I also mentioned that the jury is still out on Reaper being renewed, even though the CW did renew some shows earlier this year. I have to tell you folks that the show just keeps getting better and better each week. Ray Wise plays the perfect Devil who somehow makes a simple smile one of the more intimidating things you’ll see on TV. Last week we were also introduced to Michael Ian Black and Ken Marino as our hero’s neighbors… who need belt sanders to wear down their horns. That’s right, the perfect gay couple next door are demons. Let’s just hope there is no subtext going on here.

This week we really just have the usual suspects to take in, so without further ado…

MONDAY

CBS – 8:30 PM: It’s here! It’s here! The stunt casting I’ve been waiting for is finally upon us… Britney Spears will be on How I Met Your Mother tonight. Panties and emotional stability are optional for tonight’s viewing. Let’s also hope her acting is better than her guest spot on Will & Grace.

FOX – 9:00 PM: My sources tell me that only 7 episodes of New Amsterdam were actually shot, so we’re nearing the end of the road for the run on this show. Last week John was able to hook up with the woman who might very well be the one soul that will make him start aging again… so where will it go this week? Oh yeah, there’s also a homicide investigation.

CW– 9:00 PM: Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious… um… what else do you expect me to recommend? The Robin Williams back-to-back films (Jumanji/RV) on Encore or Constantine on FX? I told you, it is pretty bleak out here.

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: We’re finally out of Lennon/McCartney/Beatles territory on American Idol and the top 10 will be performing songs from the year of their birth. I’ll be the one in the corner drinking to try to ignore how old the song selections are going to make me feel tonight.

CW – 9:00 PM: A repeat tonight of Reaper presents one of the shows unanswered questions. What is on the page of the contract that Sam’s father put in the fireplace?

CBS – 10:00 PM: The aforementioned final episode of Jericho airs tonight. Grab a bowl of peanuts, sit back, and send it off right.

WEDNESDAY

TLC – 8:00 – 10:00 PM: Sit back and watch in both amazement and horror as the Kate of Jon & Kate Plus 8 yells at and berates her husband. I am constantly amazed at how much she lets loose on this guy.

HST – 9:00 PM: Tonight on MonsterQuest the monster of choice is the Skunk Ape. I am only bringing this up because I wanted to type Skunk Ape. I also imagine a giant ape with Amanda Overmyer’s hair do (to soon?).

THURSDAY

NBC – 9:00 PM: It’s between the Brit and the Hick on Celebrity Apprentice tonight. I’m pulling for Trace Adkins if for no other reason than he brought the world Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.

CW – 8:00 PM: Purportedly Kara will teach Clark to fly tonight on Smallville in order to fight Spik…er… I mean Braniac. If this is true I can only say IT IS ABOUT FRICKIN’ TIME!

FRIDAY

TNT – 8:00 PM: The touching tale of a man and his volleyball plays out tonight on Cast Away. This movie will make you swear off flying, and possibly carbs after you see Hanks in the latter part of the film.

ENCORE – 8:00 PM: The Rock for me is one of life’s guilty pleasures.

SATURDAY

AMC – 8:00 PM: Everything you need to know in life you can learn from watching The Godfather. ‘Nuff said? If you really want to write off the evening you can also take in The Godfather, Part II right after.

SUNDAY

AMC – 5:30 PM: If you didn’t make it through both films last night you can watch The Godfather, Part II tonight instead. Don’t say I never gave you any options.

HST – 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM: It’s an Ax Men triple header tonight, giving you a great opportunity to get caught up on this amazing show.

ABC – 8:00 PM: It’s a two for one deal tonight when the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition team rebuild the home of a single mom as well as the families “adopted” grandma next door. I hope you have an extra box of tissue handy.

– Will Wilkins did not harm any animals in the writing of this column.

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