Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• David Dobkin, director of the upcoming Paul Giamotti vehicle Fred Claus, is set to direct a feature film of the Flash. Contrary to popular belief, the film will actually be about the scarlet, comic-book speedster and not the amount of time George Clooney can last in a woman.

• In continued comic-to-movie news, another actor has turned down a role in the upcoming Justice League film. Actor Columbus Short will not be playing the role of Green Lantern in the film. The five people who know who Columbus Short is are extremely upset by the news.

• Oasis will be heading back to the studio next month to begin recording a new album. A spokesperson for the band said the group will be sequestered at the famous Abby Road studios beginning Nov. 5th. Discussing the sound of the new album, Noel Gallagher said “[expletive deleted] this [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] you [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] guitar, maybe some [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] piano and [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] mother [expletive deleted].”

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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