Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• In one of the most shocking literary reveals of all time, author J.K. Rowling has admitted one of her most beloved characters from the wildly successful Harry Potter books is gay. During a stop at New York’s Carnegie Hall, Rowling told the gathered audience that master wizard Albus Dumbledore was a homosexual. Rowling was surprised that no one had picked up on what she thought were obvious clues throughout the series of books – including the fact that Dumbledore is constantly referred to in the book as “Albus ‘Reacharound’ Dumbledore.”

• Kid Rock was arrested in Atlanta last weekend after an altercation at a Waffle House. Rock got into a fight with another Waffle House customer. Music insiders are arguing that the fight was premeditated to help further Rock’s “bad-boy” image. One of Rock’s own management team seemed to validate those rumors by saying “what’s more white-trash than getting in a fight over a girl at a Waffle House in the South? Nothing.”

• The cast for the upcoming Star Trek reboot has been solidified with the addition of Chris Pine and Karl Urban. The two will play a young Captain James T. Kirk and Dr. Leonard McCoy, respectively. William Shatner offered some advice to Pine with regard to the approach to portraying Kirk, saying, “Forget… everything you’ve ever… learned… about acting. Instead… act like you’re… trying… to pass a giant kidney stone… out your wiener.”

• Despite pleas from fans world-wide, Robert Plant has said the upcoming Led Zeppelin reunion show is not a precursor to a full-blown tour. Led Zeppelin will be performing November 26 at London’s O2 Arena. Plant went on to say, “If you want to see a bunch of geezers bouncin’ around and playin’ their oldies, go see the Stones or The Who.  Besides, all that bouncin’ around?  I might break me hip!!”

• Casting has started for a live-action G.I. Joe film. The film’s producers are hoping to begin shooting in February. To stay true to the cartoon, casting agents are looking for one black person and 100 white people.

• Actor Daniel Dae Kim was arrested in Hawaii on suspicion of drunken driving. Kim is a cast member of the show Lost. A spokesman for the actor claimed that Kim was trying to forget how boring the show had become and was only trying to “spice things up a bit.”

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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