Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Britney Spears has lost custody of her children. This most recent development in the continued self destruction that is Spears came as a shock to few. Spears’s ex-husband has been awarded custody of the couple’s two children by a Los Angeles court. Spears is reportedly ok with the court’s decision because she recently found out that she wouldn’t be able to get as much as she thought trading the kids for drugs.

• Radiohead will be releasing its much anticipated next album sooner than expected. The album, titled In Rainbows, will be available through the band’s website next week. Everyone that has heard the album is already saying they love it even though they really don’t.

• Actor Nicholas Cage was woken by a naked man that had broken into his California home. Robert Furo, a tailor, was found wearing nothing but one of Cage’s jackets. Cage commented on the case by saying only “I’m use to waking up, not knowing what’s happening and surrounded by naked men, but I didn’t pay this guy so I don’t know what his deal is.”

• The International Astronomical Union’s Committee on Small Body Nomenclature has announced that they have approved a plan to change the name of asteroid “1994 GT9” to “7307 Takei”.  The change in name comes as an honor to actor George Takei, who played the role of Sulu on Star Trek.  Researchers named it after Takei because the asteroid is on a collision course with Uranus. What? That’s an astronomy joke. Get your mind out of the gutter.

• Someone has stolen computers and photos from the set of the new Indiana Jones movie. Local police are looking into the theft and representatives for Steven Spielberg have warned media outlets that any information they receive about the film may be stolen. Spielberg himself said of the theft “Damn. If only there was someone to help track down these lost artifacts.”

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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